What Causes a Sudden Breakup?
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 6 มี.ค. 2023
- Were you suddenly dumped out of the blue? Here’s what causes a sudden break up and what you can do about it.
Josh writes, “I was with a woman for 6 months. We met family and made plans for trips and holidays. We both hinted we were falling in love. Suddenly she said I wasn’t her one and was seeing another man in a few weeks. I tried to reach out and got a cold two sentence text. I think she may be avoidant. What happened? Does she miss me? Will ever I hear from her again?”
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Listen to this lady. She knows what she's talking about. When someone dumps you out of the blue, just move on and don't look back. Life is too short to wait on nothing. God bless you all ❤️ 🙏
When they're a narcissist and they've used you for all you're worth and quickly moved onto someone else, they discard out of the blue to you, but the narcissist had it planned all along
Hi there a patriot prepper. Absolutely true.
Truth. They discard and continue to try to abuse you through their odd behaviors that follow their own discard!(Hoovering, smear campaigns, fake social media accounts etc)
Yes! Remember rejection is God's protection and redirection. Thank you Susan💛
Yes 🙌🏾
Same here. Six months then, "poof", she was gone. Both of us widowed. Both in our 60's. Both our families were excited. Both of us talking about spending the 4th quarter of life together. Took me way too long to get those "frozen moments in time" as you mentioned out of my head. Only reason I wanted her to reach out was because I wanted closure on my terms, not hers. Now I no longer care. Turns out that Matthew Hussey is right. Indifference becomes our closure.
Rick, I am so sorry for your experience. Especially astounding is the fact that this is a mature human being. This is not a 20 year old who is learning the ropes in romantic life. When you’re in your 60s, you should have some finesse. And diplomacy. I’m sorry you did not get closure but I’m grateful that you were able to erase those “frozen moments in Time.”
Sometimes men and women don’t know what they want
This also happened to me as well. Both of us in our 60s. There are some very messed up people out there.
It’s so sad that the throwaway society is so engrained we treat humans this way. I too cannot phantom how you can be someone’s soul mate one week and then “I don’t think we’re gonna work” the next. Thanks for this video Susan I love your videos they are getting me a really hard time getting over my ex
When they come on so strong and leave fast Ruuuuun!!
Sociopathic behavior...Borderlines...move on. Be greatful they are no longer wasting your time. Its a gift!
YES. Thank you. Still healing from the shocker of being engaged and the "worm" married someone and never ended it with me. He was such a Coward, he didn't even tell me. BUT, it's getting better each day.
Some people have bad characters. They only care about their outcome and take what is offered them.
Thank goodness she didn't stay and cause greater damage.
Carrie Joe, that is a really great point and I didn’t think about that. It really is a blessing that she played her hands so quickly and bailed. Imagine if she carried it on for a year so just walking through the motions and pretending she cared.
She sounds like an Avoidant- classic behavior of one. The same thing happened to me recently. She said she loved me for weeks and then out of nowhere decided she needed to move on. I honestly believe that she did love me based on her actions and it was mutual. Anxious and Secure people don't suddenly up and run like that though. And it's a rough recovery but watching Susan's videos helps. I'm wondering if she has a pattern of doing this. Did she mention her relationship history? Mine told me hers and a pattern was obvious. I just thought things were so good that we were going to make it and then out of the blue, she gets overwhelmed and runs. I'm going to try to be more careful in the future but it's hard. They come on so amazingly. She was amazing, (in the beginning and then things seems to taper to a normal pace and then crash...) Thanks for this video.
Different attachment styles can prove to be a challenge in a relationship if there’s not open communication
This makes it harder for me.. Mine had only been in 1 relationship prior to me and she cheated on him also it sounded like he was very anxious about her which he was about me too initially until when he got too busy with work and responsibilities and relationship and life got hard and real.. Although I would too get anxious and beg for his attention when he couldn’t give me and was too busy.. I pushed him too hard too.
What hurts is it was my fault too and even after telling him I could’ve improved.. (which I did when he would breakup and come back like 4 times) still now he broke up and because I made a mistake.. of accidentally embarrassing him infront of his coworkers
I just want to know if I will ever be able to move on knowing I did wrong things too.. that maybe if I did it better and was perfect, I could’ve avoided this..
Just let her go! She was not that into you because it was so easy for her to just drop you like a bad habit when she decided it was not good for her. Something like this happened to me a few months ago and I was heartbroken. But I realized he was not into me the way I was for him. They are non committal type people and why they can leave so easily. You deserve better. ❤
Agreed , happened to me years ago, i came to the same conclusion, it wasnt a sudden move for them
So do they ever eventually find the one?
Sounds like a narcissist just run and never look back especially when they show you who they really are thanks for the message Susan❤
Susan !!
My first love left suddenly - he took me on our final date and i was completely unaware of it, til i found a breakup letter in my bag when i got home. He wrote that while he loved me with his whole heart, he told me that i did not match his ideal wife criteria .. the whole word knows we were happy together, and we’re only teenagers .. yet he decided to throw it all away for some distant, unattainable ideal wife..
I really needed to get a handle on my own self worth before I could move on from a couple unhealthy relationships. Everything happens for a reason. I found people like Susan who continue to help me focus on healthy relationships and I am so grateful. There are people out there in this world who would love to be with a person just like you. If you come across people who don’t, hey no problem, it’s their loss.
Gabriel, thank you!!! Lovely to read your commentary
Love the bluntness! Great video… just dealt with this and I can say I handled it accordingly.
Excellent! Melissa, congratulations!
Succinct, intelligent and elegantly put into words as usual, Susan. How vulnerable are those of us who want a genuine and sincere opportunity to meet and get to know someone we felt a connection with. These people will know how to identify those of us, and will just want to play.
There are so many people out there that want the same thing. Like will attract like! It might take time, but it will happen!
I did this. It was something he did to hurt me & dismissed my feelings. He didn't take time to ask what happened so i got very frustrated & left
This is so strange! She showed him exactly the type of person she was, why is he confused? I would want nothing to do with her. I would block her number and move on.
I know. This is why we people say we lose our minds when we fall in love. It’s the same scenario were happening to his friend, he would see the reality in a moment. But when it happens to us, our emotions can make us blind.
that is really weird. People are complicated
Hi Dominic. Yes, people are strange when they want to avoid any kind of emotional, fallout four responsibility for their actions.
Amazing video Susan as always. I just have to say, you look
Super Amazing here. Like, you look 30! Whatever you did, keep doing it! Unstoppable beauty here! Bravo 👏.
Thank you so much ma'am your videos have been very helpful
Right in time for me😊 Thank you for sharing experiencies and Susan you for sharing your insights. Love: "hot hot hot cold cold/ they didn't treat you properly after convincing me being in relatinships with him, there is no excuse for that". Should write it in cap lock. Why do I still keep asking myself what's wrong with me? What turned him away in me🙈
Hurts so bad but this video and the comments kinda helps so thanks❤
You're welcome❤
Love you!!❤️🫶👑🔥
Thanks Angie!!
Yup! Facts.
Brilliant
These types of people are users and takers. When someone shows you who they are the first time, believe them! Leopards don't change their spots.
This in happened to me. Met this guy on a dating app, and we met up. We started dating. He verbally called me his boyfriend. I never met his friends. Met his mother briefly, as she would occasionally come over to get ice or something when I was over sometimes. I would see him twice a week, and we dated for a little over ten months. During that time I never thought anything was wrong. He started strong during the first three months, and he was less excited to have me around during the winter. Told me it had to do with his full time job getting more busy. I was in school at the time, and he was helping me with school. I never asked for his help he would just ask to help. Then a little after the ten month mark gave me a breakup text. Saying I didn’t do anything wrong it was all him. Three weeks after he actually texted me with some stupid joke, followed with a hey how are you.
Your very helpful
I was with my ex for 15 months. He love bombed me so much in the first months. I saw this drop and character I wasn’t used to after the love bombing but he said he loved me more than anyone else previously and we were a team that would get through anything. I got close to his family/friends etc: he was very wealthy which worried me as I was a single mom of three starting again. He brought a house and called it ‘ours’ I chose nearly all the new renovations etc. Then we had an argument over his relationship with his ex wife. He shortly after ended it saying he didn’t love me anymore and hadn’t for ages. When I pointed out he’d only messaged me the other day telling me how much he loved me and we’d been intimate also still he said he couldn’t remember. I need to move on but it hurts more than anything
Same story it’s narcissistic
Perfectly stated..
Thanks😊
Big help!
Very,very hurtful 💔 😢
Susan, the woman could have been using him since they made plans for the future. When she found someone she deemed better, she moved on. Who needs this? Avoidant or not? She hurt this man and I hope that he will get over her soon and not look back.
Jennifer, I agree. That’s why my first response was why would you want her back?. I think for her it was a dalliance. For him it was real. And that’s where it’s really sad.
If they are consistent and have consistent behavior.. in time you can trust.
yea hes always ALWAYS going from HOT HOT HOT to cold and its always about what he wants
Susan you look so pretty in this video.
So, basically no such thing as a sudden breakup, at least there are always the signs we don't want to see.
That part is tricky. There are people who can play it all the way to the end with a smile and kiss you goodbye, unbeknownst to you -for the last time. In a marriage or living together situation, it is much harder to “be suddenly surprised by a breakup.” I have always marveled at those people who say they came home, and their partner said I want to divorce. And that they never suspected there was any discontent. Heading that way I agree with you. However, in the modern day of posers and fakes and people playing games, it is perfectly understandable that a person can be with you for six months and just bail. They’re done.
@@SusanWinter thank you! Sure as a hypervigilant I can't imagime not seeing any sign.
My current partner keeps complimenting my physical appearance and following it up with “don’t get old” or “stay fit”…he has a strange sense of humour in general, but he does it so often that I’m worried it’s not a joke. He talks about wanting to get married and have kids, but when he says that stuff about my appearance I feel as though he’d never actually love me for who I am. The idea of growing old with him and having my body change from childbearing just seems ridiculous because of his remarks. What’s your take on this? How should I react? Thanks!
Flesh not heart dear
I was love bombed, then was engaged so quickly. While engaged, he married someone else after our last contact on Valentine's Day, two weeks later. Susan is so right, I don't want the "worm". What a liar, cheater, and a Coward🆗. Our engagement didn't last 90 days with no communication. What a loser, he was looking for a home and found it. I moving forward and recovering from the situation. Be empowered to act in your own best interests ✅✅✅.
Well said susan
When they had a backup
Just listened
Hope you like it
Ok have to pause video right from start! See.... it never fails! The woman ALWAYS talking to other options behind your back. She thinks she may be missing out on something better. Why can't people be happy with someone that's good enough. And no... good enough does not mean settling for less. You people are sic!
I want to understand a situation. There’s nothing to do with the break up video tho lol.
I met a person and every time we see each other we hug longer than usual, we hold hands, hug more, the person seems interested on me by asking questions about my life, it stares at me quietly looking at my eyes and smile and we kiss.
This person doesn’t talk to me very much on social medias and don’t ask me out. It doesn’t take much action…
We went out the times I was the one who invited… and I want to understand why this person has this kind of behavior… idk if it’s possible to another person tell me bc I also don’t know if I explain right.
Thank you!
Susan is like Carrie Bradshaw if Carrie Bradshaw actually gave good advice 😆
So not Carrie Bradshaw
@@bunniewood That was the joke....
I had an actual LOL reading this! Thank you!
@@SusanWinter Glad it made you chuckle! 😊
What about five year relationship does that make a difference?
Human behaviour unpredictable. The chick was probably talking to someone before she was direct with u. She had been seeing someone else. Feelings change
Probably bipolar or narcissistic . Or both. Be grateful you got out early and avoided a lifetime of anguish. She showed her true self.
I broke my ex. After we broke up I lied to her and led her on. I didn't even realise it. She's with someone else now, I really hope he makes her happy. She deserves the best
How do you not realise?
@@bunniewood I don't even know. I'm going into therapy now, so I never treat someone again like I treated her after we broke up. I wish I didn't hurt her as much, I'm going to do everything so it doesn't happen again
@@PlateOfCinema maybe just not emotionally mature yet. Self awareness is something that comes with experience and growth I guess.
Not 6 monthes it was Relationship of 4 years one month
😍
Too much commitment too song .. rushing things imo
Try ten years, and then a gave her an ultimatum on drinking, guess what she chose? Too bad, I guess.
so, stop being emotionally availbe??????????????