@@mmconceicao so he didn’t feel abandoned or isolated as a further punishment. he just knew he had to regulate his emotions off to the side for a bit but his mom was still there
And what about recording it and editing it for Instagram? How many takes did they do before they got the perfect cut. We're starting to see more and more children whose parents used them for content speak out against it, we should listen!
@@orlaghmuldoon8008 especially this situation seems forced. If she had explained, repeat herself, take a little more time in general he might have listened anyway.
@@shereeadziadoolin2286 the process of recording your child and putting the content on the Internet is vial. Even if this were a good enough parenting tactic, imagine how abstracted it must be for the child that every time they get told off Mum has someone record it. It doesn't make sense that the camera would be ready at the exact moment the child does whatever he did. So it must be orchestrated. Also, when the child grows up and these parts of their memory need to be forgotten and just assimilated, this won't be possible for him. This will always be there, these vulnerable moments as an unaware child will always be there for him and the world to see. Sickening. It should be illegal for parents to publish content of their children for monetary purposes.
@@lauraharris3577Absolutely not. She handled this beautifully, the kiddo calmed down, and everything was fine. A child that age should be able to know to throw things in the garbage versus on the floor. There's no harm in teaching them early as long as they are taught with love and patience.
The amount of praise she’s getting is absurd. There’s so many things wrong here. 1) the spoon wasn’t even dirty and clearly he wanted it, I would have encouraged him to go outside and dig with it instead! 2) he was fine until she pulled his arm to the trash, that’s when he began getting upset. Probably because he was being forced physically to the garbage AND because he wanted to keep the spoon. 3) telling him he’s not being nice when all he’s doing is figuring out how to express himself is soooo mentally damaging. Theres nothing he did to you that was “not nice”. Toddlers don’t know many words or phrases so to them they express every emotion through crying. It’s the only release they have, for the most part. Crying doesn’t mean he “isn’t nice”. He’s trying to tell you “don’t pull my arm and I want to keep my spoon” 4) being put in a time out because he cried to express himself is NONSENSE
Never mind the fact it was set up because she just so happened to have someone filming like she caught him in the moment? Smh people put kids thru things just for views and it’s disgusting! Pour child thought he was doing a good thing for mommy and making a video just for her to virally punish him
@@kathleenlyons7385 Totally agree. She is using the child to make a video that will get a lot of views/likes whatever..and she is handling him in a horrible way. The moment she pulled his arm by force...and also forcing him to say "ok mummy", how she's questioning him "ready to be nice"?...she's doing do much mental damage to him. Brainless woman 😮
This is soo saad .. it made me crayyy ….. i wish parents connected more with their children… i can tell she is trying her best and obviously has the best intentions for her son … the problem is not with her its in the skewed parenting books she reads … she is mislead and cant see the consequences of this until hes way older … unfortunately many of us are in this boat… but maybe just maybe she will give it a second thought and really see how this is negatively affecting her bond with her son … abuse is still abuse even if you smile and use a nice calm voice while doing it … you wonderful beautiful mother please try to let your son express his frustration to you next time and simply be there to go through it with him … then when he is calm practice clean up in a fun way that gets you and him closer… because when he KNOWS you will love him unconditionally (that means even when he does things that bother you) he will automatically do things in a better way… its allll about love … don’t bargain love with your kids … simply show them you love them always … thats the only way to make strong bonds and strong men and women in the future… i wish you and all hard working moms and dads all the best and the most strength in this incredibly difficult part of life known as parenting!
Omg I thought I was the only one against those methods...come on, what discipline at this age when the baby has tantrum. Teaching baby the rules YES, but not when the tantrum is on, then no rational thought is gonna be acknowledge. Be with your baby, with those difficult emotions, support going through this
There is something about "wrong" and "right" in the video; "Nice" and "bad". I imagine you want your child to learn this. In another perspective, there are not such judgments but rather needs that can be unsatisfied or fulfilled. Needs of you as mother: order, cooperation, ... needs of your child: play, expression, ...
Spot on, your children respect you for guiding them, not forcing them, the naughty step is proven to create trauma. Kids enjoy the novelty of doing something new and will gladly help you if you make it interesting, make them feel valued and encourage them with a little praise.
Exactly. Looks like abusing the child to make a video. What toddler understands logic like this at this age. Also AFAIK children that age do not understand timeouts.
@@stevemew6955are you seriously accusing this mom of child ahuse? Wtf is wrong with you? People like you are what’s wrong with our society. You clearly don’t have children. Because if you did you would know that sometimes you have to force your child to do things, it’s impossible not to.
"Ready to be nice?" Is an expression of emotion (however limited or negative) the same as not being nice? What does this teach him about his own emotions? That Mom doesn't want to be around me when I'm upset? I'm not allowed to be upset? I must hide my upset or deal with it alone? I'm not so sure I agree with this personally.
It's in the context. The reason for the child being upset is that he didn't get his own way. It teaches the child that you can't always get your way, feel upset about it, and expect people to side with you.
I'm a practising family doctor with 35 years of clinical experience and 2 grown up sons raised by myself. I have 2 questions: 1. What is the reason of the crying and non-compliance in the beginning? Any exploration ? 2. Real time lapse between the tantrum and calm state? Any editing ? All in all, I endorse what the psychologist wrote in this group, and I feel it dangerous to post tips in parenting in this manner.
You've written exactly what I was wondering. My first and major question was, why did the boy cry ? There was a reason for that. I don't believe in word tantrums, it is very unprofessional. You can see that the child is in a distress and there is obviously a reason for that, so instead of leaving him alone on a stairs she should have hugged him and tried to find out the reason. On my opinion her behavior is wrong from psychological and educational perspective.
My toddler had spoon in hand, I gave another for his other, put pots & pans before him, hear the sounds & feel the vibrations. No “Timeout”. That word sounds like punishment. Instead, “Take A Moment” and reflect/understand what we’re feeling & why; then talk about the matter when ready. At times my kids themselves say, “I Need To Take A Moment”. Once I was “Taking A Moment”, meditating in closet, my toddler opened the door: “what r u doing Mamma?”; I replied: “I’m just having a moment; I’ll be out soon”. He replied “Oh Tay Mamma”, slowly backing out & closing the door. Our children are watching us . Set the example. Do as you’re teaching. Teach how to love. The way you love will determine the way you do all else. We’re here to learn, grow, to be there for, and eager to help if needed-become the best of who we are. We Are Here To Love, For Love! LOVE LOVE LOVE
As a behavioral therapist, this is what I call 'not good enough parenting'. I do not see why 'be nice' is required here. Needless to say that a child DO NOT have to be told 'be nice' they learn by watching their Caregivers. This toddler was put on a timeout for no reason, in my opinion. Since mom already used a hand-over-hand prompt to teach 'putting away the trash'. A positive reinforcement should have followed immediately, but she rendered punishment for his weeping. A child expressing overwhelming emotion is incapable of being nice and should not be punished for it.
As of today, there is not one "dislike" on this video but there are over a half a million "likes". I see nothing but positive comments. She put him on 1 minute time out. They say as a general rule, 1 minute per how many years old the child is. He stayed on his time out and was praised for it.
@@lynnkat1327the child was forced to do something he didn't want to do while he was crying, and even though he did it, he was STILL punished by being put in a time out. Praising a kid for tolerating jail time is not good parenting.
@Anony888-gg33 how many toddlers don't cry when they're being disciplined? I wouldn't stop disciplining a child just because he's crying. He wasn't punished for not doing what he was asked. He was punished for his tantrum.
@lynnkat1327 BEING PUNISHED FOR A TANTRUM IS EVEN WORSE!!!! How did you not realize this? A child can't have an emotion now??? Being PUNISHED and DISCIPLINED are too completely different things. Being put in an imaginary jail for doing something you don't understand doing is not discipline.
You are revealing your childs struggles to the world without his consent and exploiting him for profit. Parenting influencers should be banned. This should be private!! Also adding the music is ridiculous. This isnt a movie
They will go far and behound for likes and money. Absolutely disgusting why take him to the bin the way she did because he didn't do it she did so she should of left the spoon asd asked him to do it until he did
Grabbing his arm and forcing him to do things is just weird. If you want him to learn then don’t force him. Also I feel like this wasn’t a tantrum at all he was simply crying, it’s okay to cry. Maybe he’s tired. Also he’s so young. You need to be more patient let him cry it out and then maybe ask again if he could throw it away. I know parenting is hard but you’re posting this online giving “advice” to other parents and I’m sorry but this is just not good advice.
This comment here. I fear for this poor baby. Lady is hyper fixating on things that don't matter. Little guy is gonna have issues if she makes a big deal out of everytime he cries
I am sorty, but this hurts my heart. It felt a bit like forcing the little one to put the spoon in the trash. He is little for this concept. Give him.time please. Keep modeling it for him. Take it from the floor and tell him; sweetie, come, let me show you. This is where we need to put it. And next time you do it again. And then again. It's a matter of repetition. He will eventually know that that's where it need to go and do it by himself. Please be gentle and understand these things need time. They are learning. They need support and understanding . Punishment creates guilt. And he did not do anything wrong. He is not equipped with this kind of understanding yet. Please model. It, don't punish. Train your patience to show him again and again and again, with the same enthusiasm like the first time and praise him when he did it well. You will be so proud. 🥰❤️ Sending you love.
To raise a child properly you have to start from the beginning to train them up properly she wasn't being mean she wasn't being horrible to him she was teaching him
@@michellemarrison4397, I am sorry, but I do not agree with you. You teach kids by showing them again and again, not by forcing them and punishing them at such an early age for not knowing how to use the trash. I do not want to debate on this. This way of "training" kids is really hurting my feelings.
@@anamaria13021984I agree, the toddler is still wearing diapers and you want him to understand what is or isn't trash and where trash is put? Training a child also entails the child being able to reason the necessity for the action.
@@michellemarrison4397First of all a child has to learn to know himself,his natural personality as it is before any education. In this way an Individual learns to appreciate and love himself. This is mothers most important task in the early childhood. This is much more important than to keep always perfect order in the living space. Everything else comes later around the age of four I would say. For children who are trained to adapt to society too early it will be difficult to distinguish between their own personality and social adaption, but that is important for a free society, that needs strong, self confident and happy individuals with own thoughts und creativity.
Omg, she didn't drag him at all. And of course he escalated, because he wasn't getting his way. Kindness was exercised the entire time and that's what's important.
Right and he shock his head at the start like saying no. Instead of saying it again like Momy wants you to throw it away... or asking him why not? She got emidiatly quite aggressiv to force him. You can hurt a kid by dragging his arm like that. My grandma once dislocated the shoulder as my sister was a toddler and was throwing a tarantum under the table. She only wanted to pick her up. So I would be careful to dragg a toddler by his arm. But from the comments a lot of people still think you have to discepline your kids from a very young age and it's great as long as you don't shout or slap not knowing there isn't just physical abuse, also psychological.
OMG, .... Mom .. you just pulled him by hand, That was awful pain and forcing instead .... I hope - she realises what she is actually doing - HARM and it was not intended. It is BAD!!!!Looks like She is cool with passive/aggressive parenting IT was NOT a TANTRUM, But Yor "GentlE" hands .... We learn from mistakes... I hope She DOES.
Hi, I was just wondering why he could not play with the spoon? It wasn’t an object that was going to hurt him and you did not need it back, it was garbage to you. I don’t see why he couldn’t hold it for a bit and teach him to throw it away when he is done with it. My son is almost 15 months and yesterday after eating he wanted to play with his spoon. He took his spoon, climbed onto our chair (I followed and sat behind him to make sure he wouldn’t fall) and proceeded to stuff his spoon threw the holes in the crochet blanket draped on the back of the chair. Each time he would lift the blanket to find where it fell and continue pushing it through. We sat there for 30 minutes together doing this. I like to let him explore things around him and make a mess. When he is done playing with whatever he has gotten into, I show him how to clean things up and he joins me willingly. If he sees me picking his puffs up off the floor he has spilt, he starts picking them up also. Spilt his milk, I grab a baby wipe to clean it and I turn around to see he’s also pulled out a wipe and is trying his best to help. Then I tell him thank you and that he’s done a great job. This example in the video seemed quite stressful for both of you, when it doesn’t need to be.
I would have been nervous about the spoon snagging the blanket or making the holes bigger. But yeah, you do have a great point. Him playing with a spoon isn’t a big deal. Often times it’s about picking your battles. It’s also great to let kids use their imagination. My nephew would have turned the spoon into a rocket ship. We have so much fun pretending with objects like that.
You are exactly right. Why forciby nit pic over a dumb plastic spoon, and turn it into a stressful time for the precious little tyke. Dumb authoriti😊an example.
If you don’t nip it in the bud when they are young, you will never stop them when their older and stronger than you are. That’s why we see so many adults having childish meltdowns
@@cb6384Completely untrue. What's wrong with you people advocating violence against children these days? Completely twisted. All that it's proven to teach is that violence is ok. Emotional regulation is learned IN CONNECTION. Look how peaceful societies raise their kids: Respectfully, peacefully
Had to turn the sound off in order to write a comment. This is is obviously not working, that's why the child is crying. This is not a teachable or learning moment. And why do other people need to see it? There has to be a better way. Somebody please help this mom and child.
I'm not even a mom... But I feel like she handled this situation quite well. It wasn't really a punishment, it was more or less a "this will make sense to you when you calm down" she allows him to feel his feelings, but gives him space to calm down. Within the span of less than a minute, he calmed down, is smiling, and is giggling. He's not traumatized.
A toddler crying is not, by itself, an indicator that a particular method of discipline is not working. It is natural for children, especially at this age, to cry simply because they are frustrated at being told "no" or not getting to exercise their wills without limit. I think, overall, this mother handled the situation well. The only way to be "gentler," so far as I can see, would be to simply not discipline the child at all...which would be irresponsible and bad, in the long-run, for the child. How might you suggest that this situation be handled differently from how the mother handled it?
the thing about gentle parenting is that it takes a whole lot of PATIENCE and the more I see it, the more I realize why so many underprivileged families don't practice it because time is spent surviving and providing. I feel sad about my childhood and the lapses my single mother made in raising us but I also acknowledge everything she had to do to "raise" us.
Great job, and method to use! I have friends that used the time out method, and all three kids grew into responsible respectful, thriving adults. Godly too.
Her content is educating mothers who needs help with their kids behavior it’s either the kid will grow and laugh it out or appreciate his mom’s help like she’s teaching him or delete it himself I’m sure they’ll work it out 😭
@ she’s using her childs struggles/upset to teach others. That is unnecessary. I see loads of helpful content that isn’t showing their child in a moment of stress or upset. Not many things make me uncomfortable but this did and that’s my opinion. Yes he can delete it but once it’s out there it’s been seen already. I just wouldn’t want to use my child’s struggles to teach others when I know there are other ways to do it that’s all.
I agree, I find it strange that a lot of people applaud her and thought she did a great job, but for some reason it is upsetting, I don't think he is grown enough to be treated this way, his eyes seem broken when he was smiling. I don't approve this tbh
Nope. It’s not his job to soothe himself. That’s your job as a parent to provide that safety and guide him through it. This is a fake gentle parenting style. What you did sends the message that he needs to numb his emotions to get your love; that can end up being his pattern
Well my first reaction was what a b.t h, he’s just a baby, who sounded very tired or not feeling well, this woman is a control, power needing individual
Stop judging mom's that at least try to make her child mind. Now days kids are out of hand and the parent needs time out. The kids control the parents. 😢 it ridiculous
Until around the age of 12, children don’t know how to regulate properly their emotions. They need parents for co-regulation. When we send them to time-out, they learn to dissociate and/or ‘self-soothe’ (meaning they look for distractors, like thumb-sucking, rocking, toys, etc., to avoid feeling the emotion). All emotions are valuable; they convey a message. The important thing is to regulate their intensity and learn to respond healthily, not just to be ‘nice.’ Ideally, we should manage to stay calm next to them, name the emotion, let them experience it, and help them find a healthy alternative to express it.
They don’t know why they’re freaking out half the time, and it’s not appropriate for them to freak out over nothing. Giving them the space and time to calm down and regulate and then seeing what they want/what they’re feeling is the appropriate way to do it. The mother sitting calmly is showing the toddler proper emotional regulation, but if they’re already dysregulated, trying to talk them through it won’t work because they aren’t functionally there yet. They also don’t know what emotions they’re feeling. They can’t “name” the emotion, we are expecting too much from such little people.
It all depends on the culture. By age 12 in the Latino culture, you are expected to be a responsible kid with manners. You don't talk back. u don't roll ur eyes. And you do what u r been told. liking it ot not. She is a good mom. Im glad she is teaching him, that every bad action has consequences. Now a day kids rules the household and parents become slaves to their needs. That is why, we have so many behavioral issues. And lets not talk about how disrespectful kids are now a days. Education starts at home, not in school.
Being authoritative, which is firm and gentle in parenting (not authoritarian) is what helps them grow up as functioning adults who aren’t entitled. My parents did it with me and my brother. Keep it up.
He is not nice. He disrespected his mother by not listening to her, and fought her by rag dolling. Don't treat your kids like they're saints, cuz they're not. Everyone is awful, and we all need to learn to be better, With well placed reward, and punishment.
@@danielgalvez7953 at this age though time outs aren't really effective as they don't understand the relationship between cause and effect. It is a bit of a waste of time.
Yeah, agreed. I’ve dealt with aggression with my kids because they saw their brother with autism hitting and it trickled down but I wouldn’t have done a time out for that. At the end of the spoon part I’d have said “are we ready to move on”? Most of the time it’s a yes.
I’m a psychologist and from my professional opinion, this is wrong in every way. The child does not understand the task putting the spoon that has been handed to him into the bin - he probably thought it is a toy. It also looks as if this has been filmed or practices a few times before, the boy was very quick to cry. The amount of words that are said to him are too many for him to understand, it’s not simple language for a 1 or 2 yo. If continued, the mum teaches him that ‚being nice‘ means complying to whatever nonsense thing is asked of him, otherwise the little boy will be punished with rejection/ separation of his mum / the primary figure of attachment (‚time out‘). He is only allowed back under the condition of ‚being nice now‘. It makes no sense to him and it breaks my heart watching this. It will not teach him anything except the fact that his mum’s love and connection is conditional and only him obeing (‚being nice‘) gives him love of his parent. The feeling of unconditional love is crucial for the healthy development of a child. Ignoring the child or separating it from the main attachment figure as a matter of punishment is interpreted by the child as conditional love an thus to be avoided by the parent as much as possible. Let a toddler be a toddler, they don’t need to be punished for not putting a spoon in a bin.
Thank you!! I literally got teary eyed watching this.😢 This poor baby is being treated very age-inappropriate and has no idea what's going on. He isn't learning anything constructive, just unnecessary emotional damage. I'm so sick of these momfluencers using their children as props for fame & clout when they're NOT child psychologists, have no business trying to show off their parenting tactics to other naive moms, and should be more worried about protecting their child's privacy than feeding their own narcissistic agenda. I hope other new moms of small children see your comment and do NOT follow this **** example & go do some actual research!
In the full video, she tells us she is looking for the best method to train her child. I am sure she loves her child and wants to raise him the best she can. She does not know how this is wrong. Teaching new parents the stages of child development would be useful.
OMG, he's so precious!!! Haha I love how he stopped crying as soon as he was on time out, they know more than we give them credit for.. 😂 he's a smart cookie but they do need ro learn boundaries!
Okay, you can't tell a toddler to throw something away and then proceed to drag their arm and force them to. They need to learn by doing it themselves. He was obviously upset because of this and thats why he "threw at tantrum" which wasn't even a tantrum. Also you asked if he was gonna be nice, he said yeah, and then you out him on timeout. How does that makes sense? Ask the child to throw something away, show them where the garbage can is and see if they understand. If they don't want to clean up their mess, they could sit down till their ready to clean it up. If it gets out of hand and a tantrum does start, have them sit down again or untill they've calmed down and let them try again. Never force your kid let alone a toddler to do anything they dont want to, even if you're teaching them to clean.
lol yeah let your toddler do whatever they want and show that there are no consequences or responsibilities in life. Cause that sure is amazing parenting
Exactly. The mom in the video misses totally the point. She is a little be sadic. She thinks raising kids is like educating a dog obedience . " Be nice and you get a treat or otherwise punishment "
@@everev851do you honestly think a child that young you can have a serious conversation with and they would totally understand. You don’t teach kids boundaries then they have none as adult.
I honestly don’t see the amazing parenting most people in this comment section see. Maybe it’s a cultural thing, idk. I agree she stays perfectly calm, and she speaks in a nice way, which is all good. But she also puts fire into his emotions by the way she’s grabbing him at his arms, by pulling him to the trash can etc. I also think putting kids in time out stairs or corners are pretty over the time, but heard that Americans like this way of „punishment“. I prefer talking with kids about their feelings and emotions instead of letting them handle it all by themselves. And yes it is good if any human can control their emotions and calm themselves down, but a forced time out actually don’t teaches this to kids.
SO VERY TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU! I find this "Time Out" thing SO REJECTIVE!!! It may benefit the Parent but certainly NOT the child or toddler...AWFUL Parenting actually.
I agree. I also have concerns about her winding a calm child up to a tantrum by insisting a spoon goes in the garbage. A messy happy home is much better than a clean tantrum-filled one. "Are you ready to be nice?" How about "behave" rather than "be"? Label the behaviour not the child. So many dreadful messages here, and too many people accepting that this is a "good" way to deal with very normal toddler tantrum behaviour 😢
I’m sorry but the fact you’re filming your life like this and your children see they are being filmed in these moments will come at a cost at some point (if not already). I hope it’s worth that cost to you and your family
Seems too much to me, forcing the child to do things they still do not understand and drilling them to be "nice" is a bit forceful to me... What if he is just sick of all this exercise he doesn't get?
You underestimate children. They are so much smarter than you think. If you treat a child respectfully and even like an adult and like they are capable of anything they will blossom into amazing humans. Also he could have thrown the spoon. This seems like he made a mess and he has to clean his own mess. Children should be taught this. Parents should not have to clean up shouldn't clean up after every mess their child makes. That teaches them nothing. This little man did an awesome job of regulating his feelings which is also what is taught here.
This method is SO bad for the soul of any child!!! They only learn that they are only worth parents‘ love if they are ‚nice‘. And that’s WRONG! Love has to be unconditional or it’s not worth a thing. What children do have to learn is to regulate themselves. Not to be people pleasers.
@ No. Unfortunately, there are more than two wrong ways. Children at that young age are not able to regulate their feelings by themselves. Every feeling is relevant and should NOT be suppressed! Parenting is hard work and you owe a loving interacting to your child for YOU decided them to be on earth. If you do it right, there will be a thousand times you have to go far beyond your limits. To love is not as easy as it sounds. In my opinion, the right way to handle this situation would be to take the child in your arms and comfort him until he’s able to calm down. Then you can talk quietly to him and explain why you have been angry. You will have to do this several times, before such young kid will handle the situation right by themselves. But this way of parenting will be good for his soul because he can learn, that he is loved unconditionally, even or better: especially when he can’t handle his anger. I did my parenting like this, and it was worth it. It worked 100%.
@@EvaErnst-e6g every child is not your child. he is not being harmed, yelled at or abused in anyway. hes even in eye sight of his mother. this isnt people pleasing this is showing him their is consequences are happening. hes calming himself down in the moment as well and will learn. stop already.
I read the comments and wondered why I was the only person not liking this. Thank you for your comment. It’s nice that she stays calm but throwing the spoon away herself and then put him to “time out” is not what I consider gentle parenting 🫠
@@honeycrisppineapplegames7430She does not need to. She punishes her children by disconnection everytime they express anything else. Way more effective than saying Something.
@@cristina1733 and what if your child is seven… and due to trauma situation we did not get a chance to approach this at a young age? Is it too late? Videos like this really make me feel like it’s too late…😢
And u like THAT SHE NEEDS 30 TAKES FOR THE ONE SHORT VIDEO AND THIS KID CRY AND LAUGHING, AND DO NOT KNOW WHY IT IS IN THIS POSITION AND AGAIN AND AGAIN ONLY TO HAVE THE 20 SEC FOR THIS,...U AS A THATCHER, REALLY!? THAN RESPECT THAT U ARE ... ITS INSANE🤮🤮
I appreciate your patience, but a child having a meltdown isn't trying to be mean (which is the opposite of nice). They just don't have the words yet to manage their feelings, as I'm sure you know well. Your children may end up feeling like they have to always be nice in order to be accepted. Niceness isn't always the best approach to all of life, no matter what.
Throwing garbage on the ground even though they know they shouldn't and then throwing a tantrum when corrected is not a feeling that should be encouraged. He was allowed to express his feelings anyway, he was just in a one minute time out until he calmed down.
Emotionally healthy people literally do the same as what she did when they are in a heated situation, overwhelmed and can't manage their feelings anymore - instead of screaming and escalating the situation, they stop, go to calm down, and then return to that conversation/situation when they've cooled down. I see it as her teaching him exactly that.
@@edithputhy4948 You're right, that behavior should be discouraged...eventually. But not right in that moment, and maybe not even in this year of his life. In that moment, he was way too dysregulated to absorb a rational lesson like "I need to throw my spoon in the trash." Physically forcing him to throw away the spoon was not age-appropriate (babies that age literally do not have the tools to self-regulate) and it also ignored and dismissed the strong feelings he was having in that moment and made it all about the spoon/"correct" behavior. That's really going to affect his sense of self in the future and whether he feels safe expressing emotions around his mom.
@@moonbread2334 I'm sorry but you sound ridiculous refusing to admonish a misbehaving toddler in the gentlest way. people like you raise nightmarish brats who think the world revolves around them.
I have a Masters in Early Childhood Education and I would never recommend using time out with a toddler. It’s punitive and doesn’t teach- the child will learn to do things just to avoid punishment. An internally motivated child will do the right thing because he feels good about it. In the moment when the child is upset like that they can’t even rationalize what you’re saying.
Thanks for speaking up! My background is in Early Childhood Education too, and I went from that to training and work in psychotherapy with children. I would NEVER recommend time out with a toddler either. Even with older children, it has its limits as a tool and can backfire. Also, I have commented in several spots on this thread, one thing I learned in my Child Development background regards the development of the 'voluntary release" motor skill in infants and children. I keep trying to explain that although the ability for an infant to voluntarily open their hand which i grasping an object begins to develop between eight to ten months of age, when excited, stressed, frustrated or pressured, their hands will freeze into the tight grasp of earlier infancy. The easiest way for a toddler to release an object is sometimes to throw it. That's why, when toddlers have a hold of something, and the adults want them to let go of it--toddlers often hurl the object as hard as they can, hoping to please the adult, trying to comply. Sadly, they then may be scolded as if this was intentional rebellion. This may have happened in this case. The mother may have begun to insist the child employ voluntary release and drop the plastic utensil into the garbage can. The child, already all too aware of the mother's demanding parenting style, tensed up, panicked and tried to release it by throwing it. Then, the mother, not knowing how emotionally abusive and developmentally inappropriate her parenting is, panics the child more by forcefully grabbing his already tensed up arms and hands and forcing the problem object back into his control. I fear greatly for this infant. This is the kind of clip that I would incorporate into parenting classes as an example of child abuse, of "what not to do." We can thank the ill-informed mother in this case for providing content for that purpose, even while we wince for that innocent baby. Let us hope someone steps in and redirects this deluded mother. I also think this clip qualifies to be reported to TH-cam as child exploitation and abuse. Let' not forget the lessons the Ruby Franke case taught us.
@@lauraharris3577 I have reported this. I hope you have as well. She's just cold and calculated, knows what works for views. And doesn't care about the children, they are just tools for $$$.
@@lauraharris3577 i didn't like how she was physically trying to force the kid to throw it away. That alone is what made him start to freak out because (naturally) it feels threatening when somebody does this
No. Little ones need to know that their feelings are okay, even when they come out wrong, messy, or loud. When we respond with love and patience instead of punishment (timeout), we’re teaching them that they’re safe, valued, and understood. Giving them grace as they figure things out shows them that no matter what, we’re there-helping them feel secure and loved just as they are.
Sure, but I wouldn't call this punishment. The way this was carried out (with love and patience, as you suggested) makes this a correction, not a punishment. Had she been rude, harsh or cruel, then yes, it is absolutely a punishment and absolutely unacceptable.
Time out isn't really punishment, it's breathing space. Don't you remember times you got worked up and just needed space to regather yourself and calm down. My Daughter won't calm down unless she is given that space and then she's ready for a hug and to talk. To be honest that's normal human behaviour. Kids don't know how to do this so we show them what to do. As a parent you can even show them you take timeouts when your feeling overwhelmed with emotions too as long as afterwards you regroup and show them your love for them hasn't changed. It's okay to calmly explain "honey Mum's feeling overwhelmed and I just need my time out now for a few minutes to breath then I'll be ready to talk" Take the timeout so you can be emotionally available afterwards, parenting isn't always easy.
I used to work in a daycare and sometimes those “feelings” get to over stimulating for a kid to understand. “Timeouts” are perfectly fine and normal bc it gives the child a chance to go somewhere quiet and calm down themselves.
My parents were very authoritarian and I hid my feelings for years until later I became addicted to alcohol and every drug under the sun. I'm now 5 years clean with a son of my own and I feel guilty every time I raise my voice.
She clearly explained it to her toddler in the video, not sure why you couldn't understand the reason for the "time out." 🤷♀️ She even reasserts it in the end as well.
Yes, because if you don’t teach your kids that they have to listen to what your telling them to do, they tend to not do it. At the moment, he is nice and cute and doesn’t harm a fly, but when he is around 2,5 to 5 years old, he will be pretty terrible if not taught that there are consequences for not listening. I am talking hitting, running away on busy streets, biting, screaming his head of, throwing stuff around in anger and so forth. If your child didn’t do that - good for you. Mine did and I also needed to use timeout to nip that in the butt, because telling it nicely didn’t work at all.
You do realise that when a child is having a meltdown like that the part of their brain that is used to learn new things is completely switched off and it’s moved over to the other side where they are in the emotional side. This teaches the child nothing except the fact that YOU will force him to do things, even if he’s having a meltdown. Yes, your child will learn from this but only from a place of fear. I personally don’t want my child to fear me. My tip would be calm him, cuddle him and help him move out of the tantrum and until he’s calmed down so that way he is able to learn properly what you are trying to teach. Yes, this is better than yelling and carrying on but she is still FORCING him. I don’t know about you but personally if another adult was forcing my hand to do something when I was crying I wouldn’t be happy about it either. Treat kids how you want to be treated. Do better. (Coming from a place of love). ❤
Thank you for that. ❤People should be better prepared for having babies. She asked „are you ready to be nice”. I think: are you, mom, ready to understand how is it to be in his age?
She created this whole situation. He sounded tired to begin with. Little ones learn more by imitation. He wasn’t disobeying he didn’t understand the assignment or possibly he liked his spoon and I did raise four responsible adults.
No possible way you raised a single rule responsible adult with that kind of thinking, unless there was a more responsible adult involved. Maybe you provided nurturing and affection and lots of hugs and kisses while someone else provided the discipline and authority and lessons about respect and dealing with the real world?
He did not do a tantrum, you forced him instead of showing him. And then he obviously cried. Nobody likes to be forced like that. Punishing a toddler for something you did not show him by example but forced upon seems wrong to me. The kid tried to tell you he wants to boycott plastic spoons. When we adults start listening to children and don’t always believe we know everything better, our world will be a better place.
Preach! I'm a mom of a 2 year old and the beginning of the video just looked so wrong to me. Show them how you do it or explan in a simple words why it goes to the trashcan. And see how it works out.
I dont like the English word "gentle parenting"... the german word is (translated word by word) "needs oriented parenting"... and this is what it should be... 1.) Name the emotion 2.) Tell your need 3.) Say it as a wish. ... "i understand that you are really frustrated because you wasn't ready to give the spoon away. Do you need something else to play? I could give you xyz". Here the mom is dominant. Using her physical strength to force him to throw the spoon away before he is ready. She doesn't evaluate his feeling, instead he is told that like this he isn't a nice child... Turn it around: when she is old and he will take care of her.. he will use his physical advantage to force her to do stuff like he thinks it should be done.. then she cries and he will not show empathy ...she will only get physical affection if she acts like he tink it is right.
But what is wrong with keeping the spoon for a while? He started crying when she grabbed his hand and started to pull him. What an aggressive move. I'm sure he started crying because he didn't understand why his mum was aggressive.
@@rhcz 💯👌 that was exactly what i was thinking... the spoon wasn't dirty or anything. It was only to demonstrate that she has more power, can decide and force him
You people have no clue what an aggressive parent is! My mother once told me to stop playing on the chair I was sitting on and all I was doing was opening and closing my legs quickly because it made a funny noise against the material of the chair, so when she went back to the kitchen I did it again, and she came back and threw a large match at me (which was lit, mind you) and she had such good aim that it embedded itself deep inside my thigh! I started screaming in pain, and she ran to cover up my mouth and told me that if I didn't shut up, things would get worse for me. If your father hears of this, you will wish for just one match! She warned. 😵💫 😢 I knew at the tender age of 3 that I was in trouble with this woman, and I was correct. She beat me and verbally, emotionally, and physically abused me until I was 56 years old and was forced to care for her until she died in 2017. THAT IS AN AGGRESSIVE PARENT!! This lady is simply teaching her kid gently but firmly. Do not confuse aggressive with firm!
Kinda uncalled for for a 2 year old, he definitely didn’t understand ANYTHING that just happened. My suggestion since this is on the internet for whatever insane reason: Sensitive Empathic Nurturing
I don't feel the time out method was nessacerry in this instance. It definitely wasn't a case of him not being nice! He just needed time to calm down then be asked to do the task.
Overreacting to this dropping a spoon and not being nice! Omg, too much. This is either tired or hungry, doesn’t need a time out. Is this mother for real?
@@colleenlanglois2915considering there was obviously something that happened before the recording started and you’re lacking context, I don’t think there’s a reason to make such a judgement. You don’t know what the child wanted because there wasn’t enough in that interaction to tell
Thank you for saying this. I don’t think this was age appropriate, nor do I think the punishment matches the behavior. He didn’t even know what to be sorry for or how to say I’m sorry..
@@odeleya1768that makes it even more weird, that she paused her parenting to set up her tripod…or made something up for the camera. The offense and the consequence don’t match the child’s age. This is more appropriate for a child that’s 3-4
He's not. He's way to little for that. The only thing he's learning is being alone in his worst moments. And no help. Such little kids need grownups to regulate. Biologicaly they simply cant regulate by themselves.
@@magorzataaleksandrawiadere9924 I’m pretty sure this is co-regulation, which usually starts around toddler age. She’s present during time out and has a calm demeanor. It’s showing him the cues to calm down which it looks like he’s understanding quite well. Kids are capable of self regulation on their own when they reach kindergarten age, so I definitely agree with you there. She definitely is helping him though.
Respect? THAT is anything but good parenting. She is forcing her child to be "good" and this poor baby is only "good enough" for the mother if it obeys and does things that are required of the child. This type of "parenting" disgusts me... the child is treated like a robot that has to listen, otherwise it is "bad" if it doesn't feel like picking up a spoon.
@ I think it depends on the context. For all we know he threw the spoon on the ground after eating, and she’s showing him that it’s belongs in the trash when he’s done using it. This is more about consequences than anything
Oh, uau! I am shocked that so many people think this is ok for the development of the child. It is not! I am sure that this mom is doing her best, but it is important to read some more about tantrums, emotional needs and maturation, attachment, and so on.
I disagree e came into this world knowing nothing n its our jobs as parents to teach thm everything n to discipline ur child so tat thy no bounderys n groundment n helps thm to grow in confidence having order structure rules n discipline this mum is a very good mum I think tat ur on about children who ave been incare I agree thy do need handling with care n all the things u mentioned bt this child came frm his Mum n as only known his mum n whoeva else in his life like dad n family she is giving her child the best chance e has in life n this is the correct way of teaching him a brilliant n attentive mum
As a now gma of a toddler I have learned to let them understand their feelings are valid. When my granddaughter is upset I say are you sad, would you like a hug and she usually says yes and I hug her through her emotions. I wish I had the same patience with my kids. Remember we are all people and deserve to feel without being made to feel bad ❤️
I totally agree with you … they need to be nurtured and cuddled and cared for not punished for their emotions … they are babies … I wish I had cuddled and nurtured my babies more … they are perfect well loved functioning adults now but still would be if I had just cuddled and loved them through their emotions … I do this with my beautifully behaved grandchildren … just shows they don’t need punishment ❤
Not a grand mother, but I had my first at 16 and my second at 33… I really relate to your comment about wishing you had those skills with your own children. I would give an arm and a leg if I could go back and use the skills I have now with my first.
Everyone is praising this woman when she literally set a camera up caused her kid to be upset then not only forced him into something then punished him all because of CONTENT!!! You GREAT Job 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Not at all, she could have set this up multiple times and finally caught the tantrum this time. I’m raining a 2yr as a sahm so I’m literally living this same life.
Father of 3. Never once gave my kids a time-out and invalidated their feelings. Discuss, inform, try again when the temper is better. When they do the chore -Give them allot of kudos. 2 times and then they will be totally "programmed" to how easy it is to keep a nice dynamic, My kids are 5, 11 and 15, and all are very well mannered today.
@@mika.claudia I’m seeing a lot of hostile trash talk from people using the same buzz words like “invalidating their feelings”. I’m just wondering who the “programmed robots” are at this point.
@@mika.claudiaMika I don’t need to read a book of psychobabble. I had two great parents and a great extended family to teach me. And I have already raised three kids of my own. This woman is doing just fine.
Time outs are a form of psychological abuse, and a version of love withdrawal. Time outs don’t teach children how to calm down and change their behavior. This approach instead leads to shame, disconnection, and even worse behavior. If you want to deepen your connection to your child, and foster connection, not compliance, do not use this approach! I highly recommend reading “Unconditional Parenting” by Alfie Kohn to understand why children “act out”, how the brain develops, and the ways to further deepen your connection to your child. Good luck to this mother, and to her children
@@shandrasvActually she is forming a bond by teaching structure all while showing him how much she loves him by hugging him and moving on happily. Kids DO need structure, trust me I hate to say it but you’re there to GUiDE them as a parent not be their “bestie”, you’re their emotional support but you’re also their teacher it’s called BALANCE? A well rounded human being knows to give and be kind all while being respectful, having values and knowing boundaries. If you give too much of those things and not a little bit of both your child might grow up entitled, selfish and confused with decision making. I was treated with so much love growing up but my family never grounded me and I was not given any chores in the house, I grew up to be codependent and always needing partners who made me feel “secure”, in the process I dated narcissists and manipulators. I was in my comfort zone from the time I was a baby til in my 20’s, I’ve corrected this now in my 30’s but it’s taken some therapy and structure.
@shandrasv omg stop! It seems to me that after 1 min, he calmed himself down and showed kind behavior. She's doing far better in this short clip than most parent do for their kids that actually hit and curse their kids. How dare you call this abuse!!!???
Es lo que se necesita... Los padres, con bondad, deben hacerse respetar siempre. No son amigos, son padres. Si quieres al hijo, lo enseñas para su mejor futuro.
@dianasadjadifard7626 😁 omfg 😁 traumatizing teaching him right from wrong. Which is why anyone under 30 are completely lost & weak .can't take accountability work a job of any kind must less a warehouse or labor job sadness useless generations are all we have ahead of us to look forward to. Dammit sad
This crying baby needed to be hugged and comforted. The mom was cold as ice expecting a toddler to follow rules like a ten year old should do. My heart was breaking for the child. How anyone could praise her parenting is beyond me.
@@carolinawatts1959nobody said that a mom must not teach a child to behave. and it strikes me that you do not respond at all to what is said in the comment and that you suggest that the person would have said that they would think that you should not parent. which is clearly not the case. the point is more how do you do that and is this the way? Where do you see the ( so called) tantrum and when does it starts in your opinion. What behavior is the "not nice behavior" where the mother refers to? And do you think the reaction of the mother is nice. And how does this help in your opinion the boys education / learning. What does he learn from it. Or can it be in any way obstructieve and confusing and so by that : obstruct the " learning to behave" I think that the confusion about what is nice and the wrong labeling ect. Is not helping at all for that goal ( more it is obstructieve )
Being nice is a thing moms say to toddlers as a reference for being good like in this clip he was throwing tantrum so she said he wasn’t being nice. Hoped this helped
@ lol I already knew that. She made it worst and escalated the problem in my opinion when she wouldn’t listen and just skipped to disciplining him for the video sakes. She set up a tri pod or phone waiting for a moment like this to happen. It’s odd. Parent psychologists have been able to make strides in helping parents for decades before social media. I’ve seen a lot of her videos and while they have good intentions of course this boy is in a few videos having emotional irregularities for the purpose of educating other parents on her end rather than being able to fully go through the tantrum, expressing his feelings in a healthy way of course then having a moment to himself. She interrupted him halfway when he was actually pretty calm to a typical “tantrum”
@ parents in this generation need to follow their motherly intuition to make the right calls. This generation is relying on parent advisors on social media to give us all the answers or coaching then when they try it at home many studies show mothers not feeling authentic doing this type of stuff.
Remember he's in a stage to be curious about his spoon not ready to let go. You're so busy tobteach him qbd yet don't care about his feeling. Go along with him to do what he to do with his spoon. Be open, you're the adult. C'MON BE THE ADULT FLEXIBLE AND OPEN TO EXPLORE WITH HIM AND HIS WAY TILL HE'S READY TO BE PPEN TO YOU THEN YOU SHOVE IN HIM WHATEVER YOU WANT. REMEMBER THE ATTENTION SPAN IS VERY SHORT LIKE PEANUT THAN YOUR WATERMELON BRAIN. SLOW DOWN. CALM DOWN. MAKE HIS LEARNING FUN INSTEAD RIGID NOT FUN TO LEARN FROM THEN HE'LL HATE LEARNING BECAUSE YOU'RE OVERWELMING. DRIVES THEM CRAZY THEY DON'T WANT TO BE ON THIS EARTH. HE'S NOT HAPPY. STOP TEACHING. YOU'RE FIGHTING WITH OVERWHELMING MOTHER. DO IT TO YOURSELF. NOT TO A TODDLER. CHILL OUT MOTHER. YOU'RE NOT PERFECT AND YOU WANT HIM TO BE PERFECT. YOU'RE NOT.😢😢😢
Are you kidding me? Look closely...Observe how she pulls his young are forcefully and pulls him to the waste basket. She probably left an bruise. He is just a baby yet with no understanding what she wanted. She could of waited to do this when he was about 2-3 yrs. old. This was not necessary at this age, and this would probably left emotional scars.
I’ve seen your video before and I just came across it again and I know it’s a sign. Yesterday was the first time I got frustrated with my 20 month old. He’s beginning to “act out” (I know it’s normal toddler behavior) and I find my self having a hard time handling it since I’m trying to gentle parent. He is barely learning to talk and use his words but I most definitely needed to see this again to remind myself that us as parents are the ones in charge and we can definitely correct them by being firm without being aggressive.
Yea i really dont understand this trend of filming your baby when they have a meltdown. Like why? That child will grow up watching these videos. You could relay this message another way and not like this. Poor baby
First fail - using your child for internet clicks. The energy these parents put into filming these “moments” is nothing but an acting stage to gain an audience. The amount of time & effort for all of this to create a scene is astounding.
I wonder if this woman understands that at this age, a toddler can pick an item up, but not easily let go of it, due to motor development. Toddlers throw things when told to place them down or place them in the garbage because their grasping skills are so strong and the ability to do a controlled release has not developed. A pediatric Occupational Therapist can explain that. He is crying because he cannot do what he is asked to do. He knows he is being made to sit down and he is doing it because he is afraid. Also, vague directions like "Be nice" are not appropriate or effective for children at any age, but especially not in early childhood. This makes my blood run cold. All these misguided mothers modeling dangerous parenting tactics. Don't listen to her!
@@claudia-gp6jbHi, Kleinkinder sind noch nicht in der Lage ihre Gefühle zu regulieren. Er ist traurig frustriert und fühlt sich hilflos. Dafür wird ihm gesagt das er ein schlechtes Kind ist und danach ignoriert. Er lernt wenn er sich Hilflos fühlt und wütend und traurig und das zeigt wird er ignoriert und das ist problematisch
as a teenager he'll throw all the real spoons in the garbage, one by one, and do a science project on how long it takes plastic to break down in a landfil. it all evens out.
Sure, I liked how soft spoken she stayed BUT , I DID NOT think it was cool for her to try to force him to throw the spoon out ! That was an AGRESSIVE AND FORCEFUL MOVE on HER PART ! TRYING TO CONTROL A 1 -3 YEAR OLD THAT IS NATURALLY GOING THROUGH TERRIBLE TWO'S or 3's , HORMONIALLY IS JUST CRAZY TO ME !! AND SHE SEEMS LIKE A BIT OF A CONTROL FREAK !! LISTEN UP MOMS , your toddlers will naturally go through this stage at 2 or 3 then they grow out of it, it is their hormones and NOT A BEHAVIOR THING, SO BE KIND AND GENTLE WITH THEM !! GRABBING THEM BY THE ARM AND TRYING TO FORCE THEIR ARM TO THROW A SPOON OUT AT 1-3 YEARS OLD IS LUDICROUS !!! SHE IS PASSAVE AGRESSIVE IMO ! AFTERALL HE IS ONLY ABOUT 1- 2 YEARS OLD NOT 5 YRS OLD, NOT THAT ITS OK TO DO TO A 5 YEAR OLD EITHER, ITS NOT OK TO DO TO ANY CHILD AT ANY AGE , THAT IS YOU LOOSING CONTROL IMO !! My point is a 4 or 5 year old understands the logic that a plastic spoon goes in the garbage and will be able to comply. Why? Because he learned it , THIS IS NOT HOW YOU TEACH A TODDLER , TEACH HIM BY REPITION OF MAKING A GAME OUT OF IT , WITH A LITTLE SONG MAYBE , REPITITION OF HIM SEEING YOU THROWING YOUR PLASTIC SPOON OUT FIRST THEN , YOU SAYING. "OK NOW YOU CAN GO AHEAD AND THROW YOURS OUT NOW TOO ", THEN PRAISING HIM , NOT FORCING HIM !!! LIGHTEN UP LADY OR YOU WILL BE HARMING YOUR CHILDS PHYCHE !!! This made me FEEL SO SCARED FOR HIM , THAT I CRINGED !!! She seemed to be channeling the online mom ," RUBY FRANKE", that documented on social media , " How to discipline her children ", and had millions of followers, and then she was arrested for HORRIFICALLY ABUSING HER CHILDREN, PUNISHING THEM WITH TORTURE , STARVATION , TAKING THEIR BEDS AWAY ETC., !! THERE IS A VERY THIN LINE BETWEEN DISCIPLINE AND BEING POWER HUNGRY BE VERY CAREFUL AND BE KIND TO YOUR CHILDREN !! HER SOFT TONE WAS GREAT, BUT HER PHYSICAL CONTACT WAS AGGRESSIVE IN THIS VIDEO ! LOOK UP RUBY FRANKE , IN UTAH, SHE ACTED VERY SIMULAR !! AND NOW SHE has LOST her children and will be in prison for a VERY, VERY LONG TIME !!! BE KIND TO ALL THE LITTLE ONES. THEY ARE INNOCENT AND ARE STILL LEARNING !❤❤❤ I RAISED MY SON AS A STAY AT HOME MOM , THEN FOUND MYSELF AS A SINGLE PARENT , WHEN HIS DADDY , (MY HUSBAND), DIED OF AN ACCIDENT, AND I NEVER TREATED MY CHILD LIKE THIS, IT IS UNNECESSARY AND PLAIN WRONG ! YOU ARE THE ADULT STAY IN CONTROL OF YOUR EMOTIONS AT ALL TIMES !!! OUT THINK THEM, DO NOT FORCEFULLY CONTROL THEM, THEY ARE JUST INNOCENT LITTLE CHILDREN !!!❤
Wow, way to create a negative narrative in your child’s head when it comes to cleaning up after themselves! You have to help him settle down emotionally first until you do that he doesn’t give a shit of what you want him to do, this is so horrible.
When you lose your child at 17 you’re so happy you were ALWAYS KIND & SWEET to them when they were growing up, that’s all you had! I was still VERY respected! My son died in an accident not his fault! He knew he was LOVED 😢
AMEN AMEN AMEN I thought the same!!! He needed a big hug & maybe a little rocking to NAP ~ he would've settled himself with a hug Forcing him to do the task was useless & stupid ~ kids don't learn a task while in distress ~ revisit the task when he's NOT crying ~ suggesting picking up the spoon AFTER he had calmed down would've shown him that the task wasn't a big deal ~ I believe he saw the task as the punishment He's obviously had SEVERAL time outs as he's communicating while being sat down "Say sorry Mom" 🤔 sorry for what??? Showing his feelings?? For being tired? This wasn't the time for "sorry" ~ don't throw around the word "sorry" ~ it truly looses it's true meaning & just becomes a habit to excuse one's bad behaviour after the fact Obviously there had been several attempts of putting the spoon in the garbage as he's fighting it the whole way while she's using force to "make" him do it All children are different & react in different ways in different situations There's no "one way fix all" "If you can't be nice" & "Are you ready to be nice" ~ what is being nice? Being a perfect little soldier? This video is more harmful than helpful I made a crap load of mistakes as a mother ~ parents also are "learning" while parenting ~ we're not perfect & we never will be ~ therefore our children won't be perfect ALL the time This video IS a teaching tool ~ teaching us how to NOT handle a situation that may or may not have been "created" for our viewing
😢 All the hate comments i see on this post makes me fear our future. If you do not correct children, they will grow up to act a fool and be disrespectful to others because they grew up getting away with poor behavior and having bad attitudes even while at home. if parents do not have structured boundaries set, children grow up not knowing right from wrong. Parents that don't disciple their children, end up "raising" disrespectful brats. She did not yell. She set a 1 min timer. He was able to calm down. If she is consistent, he will know what behaviors are acceptable or not. Good job Mom! You did a great job! 🎉
This mom did great! Her child will learn boundaries and to learn that his “feelings” are not to be inflicted on others. Those parents who “studied psychology” are scary, and they have the kids who are lashing out because they can’t control their “feelings”. My son is 25, and knows how to behave, is respectful of others, and was raised with boundaries and expectations.
Girl she physically forced him to throw away the spoon, and punished him for crying after because he wanted the spoon. He did what she wanted and he still got punished because he cried. Thats a toddlers way of expressing emotions because they cannot speak yet. No one is saying "let the kids do whatever they want", we can just see that this is obviously going to gradually lead to emotional suppression.
Ouch, this hurts my feelings. For me this is a way of telling him: don't be human, just be a nice and "loving" robot. ignore your own feelings and just do and say what authorities tell you, no matter what
I agree!!!! I feel sorry for that baby let him play! A young mom who does not know any better. Maybe there is something else he wants to do with the damn spoon. Rather teach him to recicle or mix some paint with the spoon or dig in the ground with it. Life is not all about what you want him to do and your commands. 😥😥
@@antigone4309 agree she is the childish one. Could have had a nice long play outside bonding wit all the time she spends disciplining and then we wonder why they do not like us when they grow up.. All the pushed down emotions is coming right back where they originated.. You just wait and see mommy. Gonna have lots of anger issues one day when he can think for himself
@@leonorekarer wait till he hurts your feelings one day. That is ouch my girl that is ouch. Why should your emotions count if his is not important. He is the child.
No,this is so awful..people are not designed to be robots..they have feelings and should be allowed to express them. Shes treating him with such rigidity.
I agree, watching this made me feel so sad for him. He was punished for having feelings? He didn’t even do anything that was “not nice.” He’s being taught he can’t express his emotions.
Oh man, you are a good mom. Thank you for allowing him to calm down without making him feel shame. The only thing I, personally, might change is instead of saying "when you're ready to be nice", i might say "when you're ready to follow directions". That way, it is clear that the issue is with his actions as opposed to with his character (he isn't an unkind child, he just isn't following directions)
@@Katie-b2u they understand what you teach them, kids are smarter than you think. they also internalize EVERYTHING you say so wording is important, saying “when you’re ready to be nice” seems innocent, but it implies to the child that they are inherently mean or bad. it’s also very vague, kids don’t fully understand good and bad yet, you have to be direct and explain clearly which you cannot do if they are crying or hysterical. as a daycare teacher “until you calm down and we can talk about it” was my go to. validate their feelings and frustrations, give them a moment to breath and reflect, and then you can clearly explain what behavior got them in trouble. we didn’t see what happened before or after this video but she’s clearly doing her best and that’s what counts more than anything, although i will say i’m not a fan of posting children on the internet ESPECIALLY when they are upset or crying, it’s a total violation of their privacy and just seeing the camera in your peripheral can make you feel unsafe and breaks trust (speaking from experience)
This is sick.😢 this is why adult people need therapy. "Are you ready to be nice?" Of course not, because my mother blackmail me through the love and she try to reward me by hugs. 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
@@sandraboatman6387no they aren't. Here the mum is loving and it shows and she does what she's read is best. But she equates "being angry" and "not being nice" in this scene and this doesn't look healthy. Well it's just one scene and this doesn't mean she hasn't other ways to show her son that it's ok to feel emotions but as a mother myself seeing this scene hurts a little bit
@@emmahyzjuziefhej53356 Exactly this. A lot of people don't realize how damaging it can be for a toddler to feel like they are not "nice", based on interactions like these. Just because this kid was crying and didn't want to throw the spoon, doesn't mean he wasn't "nice". Allowing a child to reflect on their feelings and actions is a good thing though, and a time-out is perfect for that as long as you communicate why it happened. Just don't tell the child they aren't nice, that rhetoric belongs in the past.
@@Tha_G0at yeah I guess mine would too, for me the key is to help her go through the crisis by hugging her and giving her words to express what the problem is, and it works really well for now, crises never last long and she's generally super sweet
He seems a little young to be this strict yet. Is he not allowed to be upset now and then? Is he not nice? He seems fine to me, maybe just a little tired or frustrated. Asking him if he's ready to be nice seems ridiculous to me because he's not being mean, he's simply showing emotion. Maybe another year or 2 from his age in this it would be a bit more appropriate.
For me as an European this is interesing to see because the majority of parents here would at first adress the toddlers feelings and when the toddler is stable and responsive for any further action, we would tell them what to do with the spoon. Your child was in disstress and was not able to learn until his feelings setteled. I grew up like your shown example and it caused a lot of harm to me that I now have to sort out. And although your videos pretty sure are helpful for others, it definitly violates your childs privacy. If an adult is willing to show himself in some sort of disstress, this is totally fine as long as he / she knows about the impact this has on themselves. But children don‘t know anything about it and aren‘t able to give their consent. It clearly has some sort of bitter taste.
She will ignore this and keep exploiting her childs privacy for money likes and views in the name of "helping others". The info would be just as valuable not showing his face or just idk telling us.
Couldn't agree more. Most damaging mathod - "time out"! Read some psychological research and brain scans by your fellow American dr Amen rather than stupid YT or IG influencers. You are setting your child up for future depression. Painful to watch....
It's also not good to pull the child to the garbage bin. No sense in it. I am also European. And I wonder how often the little one throws a tantrum. My younger daughter was'nt the easyist child, but she never three a tantrum as often AS this Boy.
@ajj4687 time out when done right isn't damaging. It gives the child a moment to reflect and regulate. Screaming, hitting, beating and berating... that's how you damage a child.
yesss trying this with my toddler and i can definitely see he is starting to understand how i expect him to behave. These videos are a life saver! thanks Olivia!!
@@rawganic5183yes! Expect to behave. Because they have to live in this world with other beings who are equally entitled to everything the world has to offer. So yes! There is some expectation from everyone and we are better off by teaching it to them young
@@sonutresaomg thank you. They’re gonna grow up n have school, jobs, friends, significant others. You have to prepare them for real world interactions. You’ll be doing them a favor. There’s a reason why there are some people you just can’t take anywhere cause they always have issues dealing with others.
The whole thing from start to finish. At least people are waking up. Not everyone in the chat see’s it but a significant minority do! THERES HOPE FOR US!!!
This is terrible! Kids do not learn by doing this! We need to be loving, as adults, we are the ones who need to be patient and nice. You are reaching your kid to repress his emotions, just because they bother you.
This is terrible! Kids do not learn by doing this! We need to be loving, as adults, we are the ones who need to be patient and nice. You are reaching your kid to repress his emotions, just because they bother you.
This video helps a lot of moms as u can tell by the comments. The child is fine, you’re just mad you didn’t grow up with a mom like her lol, and it’s showing.
I mean this definitely helped me.. I do not have a child but in the future I’d love to remember this video. I wish my mom responded like this to me as a child, I’m going to break the cycle 💅✨
@@MeghanDunbar-c8n no but I would be upset if my mom exploited these moments of me. The same could've been done without having a child in the video. People need to stop thinking behaviour like this is okay. We don't need to show our kids having a tough time to get our point across about parenting techniques.
You abandoned him when he was in distress, so he would regulate his own emotions on his own. Then you came back when he was happy. He'll grow up being a people-pleaser, you teach him that he will be abandoned if he shows his feelings of frustration, upset, or sadness. It's too early to leave him self-regulate, he is a baby, you're supposed to guide him in regulating his feelings, not leave him emotionally to deal with them on his own (even if you are physically present, you're still emotionally absent).
Baby boomer mom here. Why was it so important in that moment that he put the spoon in the trash? This could have been taught in a more positive way. What has happened before that made him sit and wait in time out? What was he doing that's not nice? Was his being upset not nice? Is he not allowed to be upset? You can't effectively teach an upset child. Why did he have to say I'm sorry?
I am 100% sure, that this poor 1 year old do not understand anything what mom want from him. Only thing he can get, that he 100% should please and obey whatever mom want!
It is better to start at 1 than 3 or 15. He now knows what mom expects without the trauma of yelling. She can tell him WHY he needs to obey as he gets older. She is setting the stage for calm conversation.
@@cyanidesidesalad in the video the todler isn't being "not nice" he's clearly very upset and struggling to control and manage his own feelings, the only thing this method teaches is him to not rely on others and NOT learn to control his emotions
At the end of the day, every family situation is different and every child requires different types of parenting. All these so called “professionals” should just chill out 😂
The fact you stayed in sight healed my inner child a little
Why???
@@mmconceicaobecause not everyone’s childhood is glitter and rainbows
@@mmconceicao so he didn’t feel abandoned or isolated as a further punishment. he just knew he had to regulate his emotions off to the side for a bit but his mom was still there
He was so good obeying ♡
Stop talking nonsense.
Calm and firm. They need to be shown right from wrong. Better they cry now. Older they get, impossible to teach. Great job! Crying is ok.
And what about recording it and editing it for Instagram? How many takes did they do before they got the perfect cut. We're starting to see more and more children whose parents used them for content speak out against it, we should listen!
@@orlaghmuldoon8008 especially this situation seems forced. If she had explained, repeat herself, take a little more time in general he might have listened anyway.
All this over a plastic spoon
She is teaching him right from wrong and to listen. Great job mom
@@shereeadziadoolin2286 the process of recording your child and putting the content on the Internet is vial. Even if this were a good enough parenting tactic, imagine how abstracted it must be for the child that every time they get told off Mum has someone record it. It doesn't make sense that the camera would be ready at the exact moment the child does whatever he did. So it must be orchestrated. Also, when the child grows up and these parts of their memory need to be forgotten and just assimilated, this won't be possible for him. This will always be there, these vulnerable moments as an unaware child will always be there for him and the world to see. Sickening. It should be illegal for parents to publish content of their children for monetary purposes.
Good parenting. No beating, Not shouted at. But getting things done. Great job.
This was an example of developmentally inappropriate parenting.
@@lauraharris3577 Could you explain why? What would be an example of developmentally appropriate discipline for this age look like?
And what to do when they keep getting up, screaming "no"?
What happens if he gets up before hand?
@@lauraharris3577Absolutely not. She handled this beautifully, the kiddo calmed down, and everything was fine. A child that age should be able to know to throw things in the garbage versus on the floor. There's no harm in teaching them early as long as they are taught with love and patience.
He is only young and needs to learn
Well done for calming yourself down ❤
The amount of praise she’s getting is absurd. There’s so many things wrong here.
1) the spoon wasn’t even dirty and clearly he wanted it, I would have encouraged him to go outside and dig with it instead!
2) he was fine until she pulled his arm to the trash, that’s when he began getting upset. Probably because he was being forced physically to the garbage AND because he wanted to keep the spoon.
3) telling him he’s not being nice when all he’s doing is figuring out how to express himself is soooo mentally damaging. Theres nothing he did to you that was “not nice”. Toddlers don’t know many words or phrases so to them they express every emotion through crying. It’s the only release they have, for the most part. Crying doesn’t mean he “isn’t nice”. He’s trying to tell you “don’t pull my arm and I want to keep my spoon”
4) being put in a time out because he cried to express himself is NONSENSE
Never mind the fact it was set up because she just so happened to have someone filming like she caught him in the moment? Smh people put kids thru things just for views and it’s disgusting! Pour child thought he was doing a good thing for mommy and making a video just for her to virally punish him
I completely agree.. just because she has a psicho calm face while she is using phisical force she isn't "nice and calm". Still forceful
@@kathleenlyons7385 Totally agree. She is using the child to make a video that will get a lot of views/likes whatever..and she is handling him in a horrible way. The moment she pulled his arm by force...and also forcing him to say "ok mummy", how she's questioning him "ready to be nice"?...she's doing do much mental damage to him. Brainless woman 😮
She just comes across as a narcissist. Poor kid.
You’re wrong
Parenting takes this much patience, no one told me, I had to learn the hard way. Wish we had videos like this to help us back then. 🙏🏻
I get it, but I would do it differently than how me and mine got it because that did not work lol
Yup I didn't get it either
I wish I had known better too when my children were coming up.
This is soo saad .. it made me crayyy ….. i wish parents connected more with their children… i can tell she is trying her best and obviously has the best intentions for her son … the problem is not with her its in the skewed parenting books she reads … she is mislead and cant see the consequences of this until hes way older … unfortunately many of us are in this boat… but maybe just maybe she will give it a second thought and really see how this is negatively affecting her bond with her son … abuse is still abuse even if you smile and use a nice calm voice while doing it … you wonderful beautiful mother please try to let your son express his frustration to you next time and simply be there to go through it with him … then when he is calm practice clean up in a fun way that gets you and him closer… because when he KNOWS you will love him unconditionally (that means even when he does things that bother you) he will automatically do things in a better way… its allll about love … don’t bargain love with your kids … simply show them you love them always … thats the only way to make strong bonds and strong men and women in the future… i wish you and all hard working moms and dads all the best and the most strength in this incredibly difficult part of life known as parenting!
Abuse u call it? Then describe " discipline" when u have a kid who is uncontrollable in future,blame yourself, discipline does NOT KILL!!!!!
Omg I thought I was the only one against those methods...come on, what discipline at this age when the baby has tantrum. Teaching baby the rules YES, but not when the tantrum is on, then no rational thought is gonna be acknowledge. Be with your baby, with those difficult emotions, support going through this
You're supposed to be a parent not their friend
There is something about "wrong" and "right" in the video; "Nice" and "bad". I imagine you want your child to learn this. In another perspective, there are not such judgments but rather needs that can be unsatisfied or fulfilled. Needs of you as mother: order, cooperation, ... needs of your child: play, expression, ...
Spot on, your children respect you for guiding them, not forcing them, the naughty step is proven to create trauma. Kids enjoy the novelty of doing something new and will gladly help you if you make it interesting, make them feel valued and encourage them with a little praise.
He wasn’t crying until she pulled his arm.
Exactly 💯
Exactly
Exactly. Looks like abusing the child to make a video. What toddler understands logic like this at this age. Also AFAIK children that age do not understand timeouts.
Exactly..
@@stevemew6955are you seriously accusing this mom of child ahuse? Wtf is wrong with you? People like you are what’s wrong with our society. You clearly don’t have children. Because if you did you would know that sometimes you have to force your child to do things, it’s impossible not to.
"Ready to be nice?" Is an expression of emotion (however limited or negative) the same as not being nice? What does this teach him about his own emotions? That Mom doesn't want to be around me when I'm upset? I'm not allowed to be upset? I must hide my upset or deal with it alone? I'm not so sure I agree with this personally.
It's in the context. The reason for the child being upset is that he didn't get his own way. It teaches the child that you can't always get your way, feel upset about it, and expect people to side with you.
I agree, manhandling from an annoyed energy felt wrong.
Forcing is domination :(
He’s learning right from wrong. Go train your own child and stop projecting on to others
@@samsmith1875exactly!
@@boyoorm.7966. I think he cried because she forced his body to comply instead of letting him do it
I'm a practising family doctor with 35 years of clinical experience and 2 grown up sons raised by myself. I have 2 questions:
1. What is the reason of the crying and non-compliance in the beginning? Any exploration ?
2. Real time lapse between the tantrum and calm state? Any editing ?
All in all, I endorse what the psychologist wrote in this group, and I feel it dangerous to post tips in parenting in this manner.
You've written exactly what I was wondering. My first and major question was, why did the boy cry ? There was a reason for that. I don't believe in word tantrums, it is very unprofessional. You can see that the child is in a distress and there is obviously a reason for that, so instead of leaving him alone on a stairs she should have hugged him and tried to find out the reason. On my opinion her behavior is wrong from psychological and educational perspective.
Reasons don't seem to matter here... obedience at all costs...
@@antigone4309 Not good. I felt sadness watching this video.
Vcs devem estar mto orgulhosos dos seus filhos adolescentes, conhecidos como os mais mal educados do mundo
Thank you very much🙏 I feel sorry for this child😢
My toddler had spoon in hand, I gave another for his other, put pots & pans before him, hear the sounds & feel the vibrations. No “Timeout”. That word sounds like punishment. Instead, “Take A Moment” and reflect/understand what we’re feeling & why; then talk about the matter when ready. At times my kids themselves say, “I Need To Take A Moment”. Once I was “Taking A Moment”, meditating in closet, my toddler opened the door: “what r u doing Mamma?”; I replied: “I’m just having a moment; I’ll be out soon”. He replied “Oh Tay Mamma”, slowly backing out & closing the door. Our children are watching us . Set the example. Do as you’re teaching. Teach how to love. The way you love will determine the way you do all else. We’re here to learn, grow, to be there for, and eager to help if needed-become the best of who we are. We Are Here To Love, For Love! LOVE LOVE LOVE
As a behavioral therapist, this is what I call 'not good enough parenting'. I do not see why 'be nice' is required here. Needless to say that a child DO NOT have to be told 'be nice' they learn by watching their Caregivers.
This toddler was put on a timeout for no reason, in my opinion. Since mom already used a hand-over-hand prompt to teach 'putting away the trash'. A positive reinforcement should have followed immediately, but she rendered punishment for his weeping.
A child expressing overwhelming emotion is incapable of being nice and should not be punished for it.
As of today, there is not one "dislike" on this video but there are over a half a million "likes". I see nothing but positive comments. She put him on 1 minute time out. They say as a general rule, 1 minute per how many years old the child is. He stayed on his time out and was praised for it.
I can’t believe there are still no laws that protect kids against being filmed for money.
@@lynnkat1327the child was forced to do something he didn't want to do while he was crying, and even though he did it, he was STILL punished by being put in a time out. Praising a kid for tolerating jail time is not good parenting.
@Anony888-gg33 how many toddlers don't cry when they're being disciplined? I wouldn't stop disciplining a child just because he's crying. He wasn't punished for not doing what he was asked. He was punished for his tantrum.
@lynnkat1327 BEING PUNISHED FOR A TANTRUM IS EVEN WORSE!!!! How did you not realize this? A child can't have an emotion now??? Being PUNISHED and DISCIPLINED are too completely different things. Being put in an imaginary jail for doing something you don't understand doing is not discipline.
You are revealing your childs struggles to the world without his consent and exploiting him for profit. Parenting influencers should be banned. This should be private!! Also adding the music is ridiculous. This isnt a movie
That goes for caregivers of elders and disabled too that can't consent to this nonsense with cameras filming everything for "awareness"
Agreed, and someone filming a child while they're crying and then posting it doesn't sit well with me.
Yeesss! Her energy + it was the whole recording set with camera Man 🤮
They will go far and behound for likes and money. Absolutely disgusting why take him to the bin the way she did because he didn't do it she did so she should of left the spoon asd asked him to do it until he did
@@MichellePhillips-kr5es needed to get that video
Grabbing his arm and forcing him to do things is just weird. If you want him to learn then don’t force him. Also I feel like this wasn’t a tantrum at all he was simply crying, it’s okay to cry. Maybe he’s tired. Also he’s so young. You need to be more patient let him cry it out and then maybe ask again if he could throw it away. I know parenting is hard but you’re posting this online giving “advice” to other parents and I’m sorry but this is just not good advice.
Not even close to be a tantrum she's doing this just to video it he was probably so clueless and didn't realize what he did wrong
Your comment is way off base
Bet you're one of the parents who thinks "everybody should get a trophy" whether or not they earned one.
This comment here. I fear for this poor baby. Lady is hyper fixating on things that don't matter. Little guy is gonna have issues if she makes a big deal out of everytime he cries
❤
I am sorty, but this hurts my heart. It felt a bit like forcing the little one to put the spoon in the trash. He is little for this concept. Give him.time please. Keep modeling it for him.
Take it from the floor and tell him; sweetie, come, let me show you. This is where we need to put it. And next time you do it again. And then again. It's a matter of repetition. He will eventually know that that's where it need to go and do it by himself. Please be gentle and understand these things need time. They are learning. They need support and understanding . Punishment creates guilt. And he did not do anything wrong. He is not equipped with this kind of understanding yet. Please model. It, don't punish. Train your patience to show him again and again and again, with the same enthusiasm like the first time and praise him when he did it well. You will be so proud. 🥰❤️ Sending you love.
To raise a child properly you have to start from the beginning to train them up properly she wasn't being mean she wasn't being horrible to him she was teaching him
@@michellemarrison4397, I am sorry, but I do not agree with you. You teach kids by showing them again and again, not by forcing them and punishing them at such an early age for not knowing how to use the trash. I do not want to debate on this. This way of "training" kids is really hurting my feelings.
@@anamaria13021984I agree, the toddler is still wearing diapers and you want him to understand what is or isn't trash and where trash is put? Training a child also entails the child being able to reason the necessity for the action.
@@michellemarrison4397First of all a child has to learn to know himself,his natural personality as it is before any education. In this way an Individual learns to appreciate and love himself. This is mothers most important task in the early childhood. This is much more important than to keep always perfect order in the living space.
Everything else comes later around the age of four I would say. For children who are trained to adapt to society too early it will be difficult to distinguish between their own personality and social adaption, but that is important for a free society, that needs strong, self confident and happy individuals with own thoughts und creativity.
Training starts from day one...she dealt with the situation perfectly .
He was only mildly upset until she dragged him by his arm, he started fully crying after that.
Omg, she didn't drag him at all. And of course he escalated, because he wasn't getting his way. Kindness was exercised the entire time and that's what's important.
Yes I was wondering if someone was going to say that she dragged him😮
Right and he shock his head at the start like saying no. Instead of saying it again like Momy wants you to throw it away... or asking him why not? She got emidiatly quite aggressiv to force him. You can hurt a kid by dragging his arm like that. My grandma once dislocated the shoulder as my sister was a toddler and was throwing a tarantum under the table. She only wanted to pick her up. So I would be careful to dragg a toddler by his arm. But from the comments a lot of people still think you have to discepline your kids from a very young age and it's great as long as you don't shout or slap not knowing there isn't just physical abuse, also psychological.
@@tabithadente7139 Right!! That definitely WAS NOT dragging. Lord that was heavenly compared to some of the whippins my brother and I got🤣😂🤣😂
OMG, .... Mom .. you just pulled him by hand, That was awful pain and forcing instead .... I hope - she realises what she is actually doing - HARM and it was not intended. It is BAD!!!!Looks like She is cool with passive/aggressive parenting IT was NOT a TANTRUM, But Yor "GentlE" hands .... We learn from mistakes... I hope She DOES.
Hi, I was just wondering why he could not play with the spoon? It wasn’t an object that was going to hurt him and you did not need it back, it was garbage to you. I don’t see why he couldn’t hold it for a bit and teach him to throw it away when he is done with it. My son is almost 15 months and yesterday after eating he wanted to play with his spoon. He took his spoon, climbed onto our chair (I followed and sat behind him to make sure he wouldn’t fall) and proceeded to stuff his spoon threw the holes in the crochet blanket draped on the back of the chair. Each time he would lift the blanket to find where it fell and continue pushing it through. We sat there for 30 minutes together doing this. I like to let him explore things around him and make a mess. When he is done playing with whatever he has gotten into, I show him how to clean things up and he joins me willingly. If he sees me picking his puffs up off the floor he has spilt, he starts picking them up also. Spilt his milk, I grab a baby wipe to clean it and I turn around to see he’s also pulled out a wipe and is trying his best to help. Then I tell him thank you and that he’s done a great job. This example in the video seemed quite stressful for both of you, when it doesn’t need to be.
Right! Because she had to power struggle, that's why.
I would have been nervous about the spoon snagging the blanket or making the holes bigger. But yeah, you do have a great point. Him playing with a spoon isn’t a big deal. Often times it’s about picking your battles. It’s also great to let kids use their imagination. My nephew would have turned the spoon into a rocket ship. We have so much fun pretending with objects like that.
Because it's a perfect time to teach the child..
Maybe he had been playing with it for a while or maybe he threw it on the floor and didn't want to throw it away once done with it.
You are exactly right. Why forciby nit pic over a dumb plastic spoon, and turn it into a stressful time for the precious little tyke. Dumb authoriti😊an example.
Great job mom❣️ Your baby is beautiful🥰
He's too little for this and SHE provoked the tantrum - if you could even call it that. She's cold hearted and unsuitable to be a parent.
If you don’t nip it in the bud when they are young, you will never stop them when their older and stronger than you are. That’s why we see so many adults having childish meltdowns
@@cb6384Completely untrue. What's wrong with you people advocating violence against children these days? Completely twisted. All that it's proven to teach is that violence is ok. Emotional regulation is learned IN CONNECTION. Look how peaceful societies raise their kids: Respectfully, peacefully
Exactly she is trying to earn some right wing followers and views by deliberately doing that..... She is evil
For real Juanita, you’re so right
Exactly
Had to turn the sound off in order to write a comment. This is is obviously not working, that's why the child is crying. This is not a teachable or learning moment. And why do other people need to see it? There has to be a better way. Somebody please help this mom and child.
Did ya even finish the video before commenting?
It’s also contrived
I'm not even a mom... But I feel like she handled this situation quite well. It wasn't really a punishment, it was more or less a "this will make sense to you when you calm down" she allows him to feel his feelings, but gives him space to calm down. Within the span of less than a minute, he calmed down, is smiling, and is giggling.
He's not traumatized.
A toddler crying is not, by itself, an indicator that a particular method of discipline is not working. It is natural for children, especially at this age, to cry simply because they are frustrated at being told "no" or not getting to exercise their wills without limit.
I think, overall, this mother handled the situation well. The only way to be "gentler," so far as I can see, would be to simply not discipline the child at all...which would be irresponsible and bad, in the long-run, for the child.
How might you suggest that this situation be handled differently from how the mother handled it?
I agree it’s sad to watch and it’s also exploitation of this cute little toddler
the thing about gentle parenting is that it takes a whole lot of PATIENCE and the more I see it, the more I realize why so many underprivileged families don't practice it because time is spent surviving and providing. I feel sad about my childhood and the lapses my single mother made in raising us but I also acknowledge everything she had to do to "raise" us.
Good job❤❤❤😊😊😊
True
Very insightful comment 😣
This is very true!!!!❤
I am a single mother and hope my son gets this understanding someday
Great job, and method to use! I have friends that used the time out method, and all three kids grew into responsible respectful, thriving adults. Godly too.
I hate that this child being upset is on the internet and he didn’t ask for that.
Her content is educating mothers who needs help with their kids behavior it’s either the kid will grow and laugh it out or appreciate his mom’s help like she’s teaching him or delete it himself I’m sure they’ll work it out 😭
@ she’s using her childs struggles/upset to teach others. That is unnecessary. I see loads of helpful content that isn’t showing their child in a moment of stress or upset. Not many things make me uncomfortable but this did and that’s my opinion. Yes he can delete it but once it’s out there it’s been seen already. I just wouldn’t want to use my child’s struggles to teach others when I know there are other ways to do it that’s all.
I agree, I find it strange that a lot of people applaud her and thought she did a great job, but for some reason it is upsetting, I don't think he is grown enough to be treated this way, his eyes seem broken when he was smiling. I don't approve this tbh
@@chaseatlantic12I guess people couldn't teach anything before social media?
@ I mean it’s on media to help other moms ig? Idk I can’t argue with a Baddie 😞🫵
Nope. It’s not his job to soothe himself. That’s your job as a parent to provide that safety and guide him through it. This is a fake gentle parenting style.
What you did sends the message that he needs to numb his emotions to get your love; that can end up being his pattern
True and in a few months or a year he'll push over a silly timeout.
She forced him with strong.!It's very bad... She's too dominate
Well my first reaction was what a b.t h, he’s just a baby, who sounded very tired or not feeling well, this woman is a control, power needing individual
As a mother i absolutely agree. She is a Monster. Cant See this!
Stop judging mom's that at least try to make her child mind. Now days kids are out of hand and the parent needs time out. The kids control the parents. 😢 it ridiculous
Until around the age of 12, children don’t know how to regulate properly their emotions. They need parents for co-regulation. When we send them to time-out, they learn to dissociate and/or ‘self-soothe’ (meaning they look for distractors, like thumb-sucking, rocking, toys, etc., to avoid feeling the emotion).
All emotions are valuable; they convey a message. The important thing is to regulate their intensity and learn to respond healthily, not just to be ‘nice.’
Ideally, we should manage to stay calm next to them, name the emotion, let them experience it, and help them find a healthy alternative to express it.
Dey play
I agree😊
They don’t know why they’re freaking out half the time, and it’s not appropriate for them to freak out over nothing. Giving them the space and time to calm down and regulate and then seeing what they want/what they’re feeling is the appropriate way to do it. The mother sitting calmly is showing the toddler proper emotional regulation, but if they’re already dysregulated, trying to talk them through it won’t work because they aren’t functionally there yet. They also don’t know what emotions they’re feeling. They can’t “name” the emotion, we are expecting too much from such little people.
totally agree......time out inly sends message to our kids that their difficult emotions are not important
It all depends on the culture. By age 12 in the Latino culture, you are expected to be a responsible kid with manners. You don't talk back. u don't roll ur eyes. And you do what u r been told. liking it ot not. She is a good mom. Im glad she is teaching him, that every bad action has consequences. Now a day kids rules the household and parents become slaves to their needs. That is why, we have so many behavioral issues. And lets not talk about how disrespectful kids are now a days. Education starts at home, not in school.
Being authoritative, which is firm and gentle in parenting (not authoritarian) is what helps them grow up as functioning adults who aren’t entitled. My parents did it with me and my brother. Keep it up.
I just want to hug that kid, he IS nice, he is just crying
And throwing a tantrum ;)
He is not nice. He disrespected his mother by not listening to her, and fought her by rag dolling. Don't treat your kids like they're saints, cuz they're not. Everyone is awful, and we all need to learn to be better, With well placed reward, and punishment.
@@danielgalvez7953 at this age though time outs aren't really effective as they don't understand the relationship between cause and effect. It is a bit of a waste of time.
@stefmms6280 that's not what I found on Google can you cite a source?
Yeah, agreed. I’ve dealt with aggression with my kids because they saw their brother with autism hitting and it trickled down but I wouldn’t have done a time out for that. At the end of the spoon part I’d have said “are we ready to move on”? Most of the time it’s a yes.
I’m a psychologist and from my professional opinion, this is wrong in every way. The child does not understand the task putting the spoon that has been handed to him into the bin - he probably thought it is a toy. It also looks as if this has been filmed or practices a few times before, the boy was very quick to cry. The amount of words that are said to him are too many for him to understand, it’s not simple language for a 1 or 2 yo. If continued, the mum teaches him that ‚being nice‘ means complying to whatever nonsense thing is asked of him, otherwise the little boy will be punished with rejection/ separation of his mum / the primary figure of attachment (‚time out‘). He is only allowed back under the condition of ‚being nice now‘. It makes no sense to him and it breaks my heart watching this. It will not teach him anything except the fact that his mum’s love and connection is conditional and only him obeing (‚being nice‘) gives him love of his parent. The feeling of unconditional love is crucial for the healthy development of a child. Ignoring the child or separating it from the main attachment figure as a matter of punishment is interpreted by the child as conditional love an thus to be avoided by the parent as much as possible. Let a toddler be a toddler, they don’t need to be punished for not putting a spoon in a bin.
Agree 100%... Thanks for the professional opinion❤
Yeah she doesn't let him do what he wants imo like if he's not a kid.
Thank you!! I literally got teary eyed watching this.😢 This poor baby is being treated very age-inappropriate and has no idea what's going on. He isn't learning anything constructive, just unnecessary emotional damage. I'm so sick of these momfluencers using their children as props for fame & clout when they're NOT child psychologists, have no business trying to show off their parenting tactics to other naive moms, and should be more worried about protecting their child's privacy than feeding their own narcissistic agenda. I hope other new moms of small children see your comment and do NOT follow this **** example & go do some actual research!
I felt the same way but reading other comments, I was shocked!
In the full video, she tells us she is looking for the best method to train her child. I am sure she loves her child and wants to raise him the best she can. She does not know how this is wrong. Teaching new parents the stages of child development would be useful.
"Ready to be nice".What a sick thing to say to a kid!Kids must have the right to show feelings.Maybe he was sad,tired..This broke my heart.😢
He was regulated already.
Exactly, same here.
I totally agree
I feel so sad for this child. :(
Bless your heart
OMG, he's so precious!!! Haha I love how he stopped crying as soon as he was on time out, they know more than we give them credit for.. 😂 he's a smart cookie but they do need ro learn boundaries!
Okay, you can't tell a toddler to throw something away and then proceed to drag their arm and force them to. They need to learn by doing it themselves. He was obviously upset because of this and thats why he "threw at tantrum" which wasn't even a tantrum. Also you asked if he was gonna be nice, he said yeah, and then you out him on timeout. How does that makes sense? Ask the child to throw something away, show them where the garbage can is and see if they understand. If they don't want to clean up their mess, they could sit down till their ready to clean it up. If it gets out of hand and a tantrum does start, have them sit down again or untill they've calmed down and let them try again. Never force your kid let alone a toddler to do anything they dont want to, even if you're teaching them to clean.
Yes you can
lol yeah let your toddler do whatever they want and show that there are no consequences or responsibilities in life. Cause that sure is amazing parenting
Exactly. The mom in the video misses totally the point. She is a little be sadic. She thinks raising kids is like educating a dog obedience . " Be nice and you get a treat or otherwise punishment "
It would have been better to have him put the spoon in the garbage after the time out :) love everything else.
@@everev851do you honestly think a child that young you can have a serious conversation with and they would totally understand. You don’t teach kids boundaries then they have none as adult.
No way he completely stopped crying in just 1 minute....lol
I honestly don’t see the amazing parenting most people in this comment section see. Maybe it’s a cultural thing, idk. I agree she stays perfectly calm, and she speaks in a nice way, which is all good. But she also puts fire into his emotions by the way she’s grabbing him at his arms, by pulling him to the trash can etc. I also think putting kids in time out stairs or corners are pretty over the time, but heard that Americans like this way of „punishment“. I prefer talking with kids about their feelings and emotions instead of letting them handle it all by themselves. And yes it is good if any human can control their emotions and calm themselves down, but a forced time out actually don’t teaches this to kids.
SO VERY TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU! I find this "Time Out" thing SO REJECTIVE!!! It may benefit the Parent but certainly NOT the child or toddler...AWFUL Parenting actually.
Yeah, bizarre parenting. Its like theyre trying to invent the wheel
I agree. I also have concerns about her winding a calm child up to a tantrum by insisting a spoon goes in the garbage. A messy happy home is much better than a clean tantrum-filled one. "Are you ready to be nice?" How about "behave" rather than "be"? Label the behaviour not the child. So many dreadful messages here, and too many people accepting that this is a "good" way to deal with very normal toddler tantrum behaviour 😢
It was horrible to see how she forced him.
I didnt understand either neither the comment section 😂all good , will wait another 10 years that they will come up with new parenting way
😂
I’m sorry but the fact you’re filming your life like this and your children see they are being filmed in these moments will come at a cost at some point (if not already). I hope it’s worth that cost to you and your family
She's provoking those situations, just to film it. This is child abuse. It's sickening my stomach.
@@ZmoraHHexactly what she’s doing.
Yes I agree
Agree.
True
Seems too much to me, forcing the child to do things they still do not understand and drilling them to be "nice" is a bit forceful to me... What if he is just sick of all this exercise he doesn't get?
Same comment I made. Can’t expect toddlers to act like an adult, because you don’t want to clean.
Exactly.
A child that young will not understand, but he must learn to be obedient... He'll understand in time! 😏
You underestimate children. They are so much smarter than you think. If you treat a child respectfully and even like an adult and like they are capable of anything they will blossom into amazing humans.
Also he could have thrown the spoon. This seems like he made a mess and he has to clean his own mess. Children should be taught this. Parents should not have to clean up shouldn't clean up after every mess their child makes. That teaches them nothing. This little man did an awesome job of regulating his feelings which is also what is taught here.
That's is wrong she is being a GOOD mother
Never too young to learn. Good job, Mama. ❤
This method is SO bad for the soul of any child!!! They only learn that they are only worth parents‘ love if they are ‚nice‘. And that’s WRONG! Love has to be unconditional or it’s not worth a thing.
What children do have to learn is to regulate themselves. Not to be people pleasers.
So your damed ed if you do and damned if you don’t!! If she did it another way you’d probably say that was wrong to🤨
@@Sherri_JordanI agree with the above comment, we shouldn’t raise people pleasers😢
@ No. Unfortunately, there are more than two wrong ways. Children at that young age are not able to regulate their feelings by themselves. Every feeling is relevant and should NOT be suppressed! Parenting is hard work and you owe a loving interacting to your child for YOU decided them to be on earth. If you do it right, there will be a thousand times you have to go far beyond your limits. To love is not as easy as it sounds.
In my opinion, the right way to handle this situation would be to take the child in your arms and comfort him until he’s able to calm down. Then you can talk quietly to him and explain why you have been angry. You will have to do this several times, before such young kid will handle the situation right by themselves. But this way of parenting will be good for his soul because he can learn, that he is loved unconditionally, even or better: especially when he can’t handle his anger. I did my parenting like this, and it was worth it. It worked 100%.
@@EvaErnst-e6g every child is not your child. he is not being harmed, yelled at or abused in anyway. hes even in eye sight of his mother. this isnt people pleasing this is showing him their is consequences are happening. hes calming himself down in the moment as well and will learn. stop already.
I read the comments and wondered why I was the only person not liking this. Thank you for your comment. It’s nice that she stays calm but throwing the spoon away herself and then put him to “time out” is not what I consider gentle parenting 🫠
"You're only accepted if you express positive emotions." This is the wrong message and will damage the child in the longrun.
😢 Poor baby 😢
She never said that
@@honeycrisppineapplegames7430She does not need to. She punishes her children by disconnection everytime they express anything else. Way more effective than saying Something.
Agree, my case
Yeah. I think it's kind of passive aggressive and not much different from yelling.
As a teacher, you can't even imagine how much I appreciate this mom. Keep up the good work.
Important to educate very early .They are teachable 💯
@@cristina1733 and what if your child is seven… and due to trauma situation we did not get a chance to approach this at a young age? Is it too late? Videos like this really make me feel like it’s too late…😢
I came here to say the same !👏👏👏👏
Never to late you will just have to be alittle more firm and don’t give in.
And u like THAT SHE NEEDS 30 TAKES FOR THE ONE SHORT VIDEO AND THIS KID CRY AND LAUGHING, AND DO NOT KNOW WHY IT IS IN THIS POSITION AND AGAIN AND AGAIN ONLY TO HAVE THE 20 SEC FOR THIS,...U AS A THATCHER, REALLY!? THAN RESPECT THAT U ARE ... ITS INSANE🤮🤮
So sad to remember,
When I was tantrum 45 years ago without my parents
How lucky this boy had an Angel Mom like you Olivia ... 😇😇😇
I appreciate your patience, but a child having a meltdown isn't trying to be mean (which is the opposite of nice). They just don't have the words yet to manage their feelings, as I'm sure you know well. Your children may end up feeling like they have to always be nice in order to be accepted. Niceness isn't always the best approach to all of life, no matter what.
^ this!
Throwing garbage on the ground even though they know they shouldn't and then throwing a tantrum when corrected is not a feeling that should be encouraged. He was allowed to express his feelings anyway, he was just in a one minute time out until he calmed down.
Emotionally healthy people literally do the same as what she did when they are in a heated situation, overwhelmed and can't manage their feelings anymore - instead of screaming and escalating the situation, they stop, go to calm down, and then return to that conversation/situation when they've cooled down. I see it as her teaching him exactly that.
@@edithputhy4948 You're right, that behavior should be discouraged...eventually. But not right in that moment, and maybe not even in this year of his life. In that moment, he was way too dysregulated to absorb a rational lesson like "I need to throw my spoon in the trash." Physically forcing him to throw away the spoon was not age-appropriate (babies that age literally do not have the tools to self-regulate) and it also ignored and dismissed the strong feelings he was having in that moment and made it all about the spoon/"correct" behavior. That's really going to affect his sense of self in the future and whether he feels safe expressing emotions around his mom.
@@moonbread2334 I'm sorry but you sound ridiculous refusing to admonish a misbehaving toddler in the gentlest way. people like you raise nightmarish brats who think the world revolves around them.
I have a Masters in Early Childhood Education and I would never recommend using time out with a toddler. It’s punitive and doesn’t teach- the child will learn to do things just to avoid punishment. An internally motivated child will do the right thing because he feels good about it. In the moment when the child is upset like that they can’t even rationalize what you’re saying.
What would you recommend?
Thanks for speaking up! My background is in Early Childhood Education too, and I went from that to training and work in psychotherapy with children. I would NEVER recommend time out with a toddler either. Even with older children, it has its limits as a tool and can backfire. Also, I have commented in several spots on this thread, one thing I learned in my Child Development background regards the development of the 'voluntary release" motor skill in infants and children. I keep trying to explain that although the ability for an infant to voluntarily open their hand which i grasping an object begins to develop between eight to ten months of age, when excited, stressed, frustrated or pressured, their hands will freeze into the tight grasp of earlier infancy. The easiest way for a toddler to release an object is sometimes to throw it. That's why, when toddlers have a hold of something, and the adults want them to let go of it--toddlers often hurl the object as hard as they can, hoping to please the adult, trying to comply. Sadly, they then may be scolded as if this was intentional rebellion. This may have happened in this case. The mother may have begun to insist the child employ voluntary release and drop the plastic utensil into the garbage can. The child, already all too aware of the mother's demanding parenting style, tensed up, panicked and tried to release it by throwing it. Then, the mother, not knowing how emotionally abusive and developmentally inappropriate her parenting is, panics the child more by forcefully grabbing his already tensed up arms and hands and forcing the problem object back into his control. I fear greatly for this infant.
This is the kind of clip that I would incorporate into parenting classes as an example of child abuse, of "what not to do." We can thank the ill-informed mother in this case for providing content for that purpose, even while we wince for that innocent baby. Let us hope someone steps in and redirects this deluded mother.
I also think this clip qualifies to be reported to TH-cam as child exploitation and abuse. Let' not forget the lessons the Ruby Franke case taught us.
@@lauraharris3577 I have reported this. I hope you have as well. She's just cold and calculated, knows what works for views. And doesn't care about the children, they are just tools for $$$.
@@lauraharris3577 yup. you nailed it 10000%
@@lauraharris3577 i didn't like how she was physically trying to force the kid to throw it away. That alone is what made him start to freak out because (naturally) it feels threatening when somebody does this
No. Little ones need to know that their feelings are okay, even when they come out wrong, messy, or loud. When we respond with love and patience instead of punishment (timeout), we’re teaching them that they’re safe, valued, and understood. Giving them grace as they figure things out shows them that no matter what, we’re there-helping them feel secure and loved just as they are.
That’s not how real life works unfortunately
Sure, but I wouldn't call this punishment. The way this was carried out (with love and patience, as you suggested) makes this a correction, not a punishment. Had she been rude, harsh or cruel, then yes, it is absolutely a punishment and absolutely unacceptable.
@@eunkyungjung363I'd like to see what kinda person HELL be at 13yo and what his correction will be then?!
Time out isn't really punishment, it's breathing space. Don't you remember times you got worked up and just needed space to regather yourself and calm down. My Daughter won't calm down unless she is given that space and then she's ready for a hug and to talk.
To be honest that's normal human behaviour. Kids don't know how to do this so we show them what to do. As a parent you can even show them you take timeouts when your feeling overwhelmed with emotions too as long as afterwards you regroup and show them your love for them hasn't changed. It's okay to calmly explain "honey Mum's feeling overwhelmed and I just need my time out now for a few minutes to breath then I'll be ready to talk"
Take the timeout so you can be emotionally available afterwards, parenting isn't always easy.
I used to work in a daycare and sometimes those “feelings” get to over stimulating for a kid to understand. “Timeouts” are perfectly fine and normal bc it gives the child a chance to go somewhere quiet and calm down themselves.
My parents were very authoritarian and I hid my feelings for years until later I became addicted to alcohol and every drug under the sun. I'm now 5 years clean with a son of my own and I feel guilty every time I raise my voice.
Don’t have to raise your voice. Just be firm.
Im confused. he was punished for not throwing a plastic spoon in a can?
She clearly explained it to her toddler in the video, not sure why you couldn't understand the reason for the "time out." 🤷♀️ She even reasserts it in the end as well.
Yes, because if you don’t teach your kids that they have to listen to what your telling them to do, they tend to not do it.
At the moment, he is nice and cute and doesn’t harm a fly, but when he is around 2,5 to 5 years old, he will be pretty terrible if not taught that there are consequences for not listening.
I am talking hitting, running away on busy streets, biting, screaming his head of, throwing stuff around in anger and so forth.
If your child didn’t do that - good for you. Mine did and I also needed to use timeout to nip that in the butt, because telling it nicely didn’t work at all.
@@Narda185 You have to use discipline in an army of eight children going to nineteen.
Exactly!!!@@gonzaaudrey12
@@tanisabenulic2861 I completely agree
You do realise that when a child is having a meltdown like that the part of their brain that is used to learn new things is completely switched off and it’s moved over to the other side where they are in the emotional side. This teaches the child nothing except the fact that YOU will force him to do things, even if he’s having a meltdown. Yes, your child will learn from this but only from a place of fear. I personally don’t want my child to fear me. My tip would be calm him, cuddle him and help him move out of the tantrum and until he’s calmed down so that way he is able to learn properly what you are trying to teach.
Yes, this is better than yelling and carrying on but she is still FORCING him.
I don’t know about you but personally if another adult was forcing my hand to do something when I was crying I wouldn’t be happy about it either.
Treat kids how you want to be treated.
Do better. (Coming from a place of love). ❤
Thank you for that. ❤People should be better prepared for having babies. She asked „are you ready to be nice”. I think: are you, mom, ready to understand how is it to be in his age?
Right. This made me sad.
EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING DURING THE WHOLE VIDEO
I MEAN WTFF
Absolutely and the way she grabbed his poor little arm..when he fell, broke my heart!
Time out is the most pathetic thing ever used on a child! The way she grabs his arm when he falls is a disgrace!
She created this whole situation. He sounded tired to begin with. Little ones learn more by imitation. He wasn’t disobeying he didn’t understand the assignment or possibly he liked his spoon and I did raise four responsible adults.
Hm that made no sense at all.
My exact thoughts.
Why couldn't he keep his spoon?? She made him put his spoon in the bin and then punished him and said he wasn't nice. I'm upset for him 😢
No possible way you raised a single rule responsible adult with that kind of thinking, unless there was a more responsible adult involved. Maybe you provided nurturing and affection and lots of hugs and kisses while someone else provided the discipline and authority and lessons about respect and dealing with the real world?
@helenbancroft4159 because she told him no, and it's important for a child to learn from as early an age as possible what the word no means.
Awww bless him, I absolutely hate hearing kids cry like that, breaks my heart, think I’m getting soft in my old age 😊
He did not do a tantrum, you forced him instead of showing him. And then he obviously cried. Nobody likes to be forced like that. Punishing a toddler for something you did not show him by example but forced upon seems wrong to me. The kid tried to tell you he wants to boycott plastic spoons. When we adults start listening to children and don’t always believe we know everything better, our world will be a better place.
Preach! I'm a mom of a 2 year old and the beginning of the video just looked so wrong to me. Show them how you do it or explan in a simple words why it goes to the trashcan. And see how it works out.
I dont like the English word "gentle parenting"... the german word is (translated word by word) "needs oriented parenting"... and this is what it should be... 1.) Name the emotion 2.) Tell your need 3.) Say it as a wish. ... "i understand that you are really frustrated because you wasn't ready to give the spoon away. Do you need something else to play? I could give you xyz".
Here the mom is dominant. Using her physical strength to force him to throw the spoon away before he is ready. She doesn't evaluate his feeling, instead he is told that like this he isn't a nice child...
Turn it around: when she is old and he will take care of her.. he will use his physical advantage to force her to do stuff like he thinks it should be done.. then she cries and he will not show empathy ...she will only get physical affection if she acts like he tink it is right.
But what is wrong with keeping the spoon for a while? He started crying when she grabbed his hand and started to pull him. What an aggressive move. I'm sure he started crying because he didn't understand why his mum was aggressive.
@@rhcz 💯👌 that was exactly what i was thinking... the spoon wasn't dirty or anything. It was only to demonstrate that she has more power, can decide and force him
@@rhcz totally agréé. Promoting agression disguised as niceness
You people have no clue what an aggressive parent is! My mother once told me to stop playing on the chair I was sitting on and all I was doing was opening and closing my legs quickly because it made a funny noise against the material of the chair, so when she went back to the kitchen I did it again, and she came back and threw a large match at me (which was lit, mind you) and she had such good aim that it embedded itself deep inside my thigh! I started screaming in pain, and she ran to cover up my mouth and told me that if I didn't shut up, things would get worse for me. If your father hears of this, you will wish for just one match! She warned. 😵💫 😢 I knew at the tender age of 3 that I was in trouble with this woman, and I was correct. She beat me and verbally, emotionally, and physically abused me until I was 56 years old and was forced to care for her until she died in 2017. THAT IS AN AGGRESSIVE PARENT!! This lady is simply teaching her kid gently but firmly. Do not confuse aggressive with firm!
@@iamsunnysideup7115that is so sad. I am sorry you were treated like that.
Kinda uncalled for for a 2 year old, he definitely didn’t understand ANYTHING that just happened. My suggestion since this is on the internet for whatever insane reason: Sensitive Empathic Nurturing
Thank you
❤
And what you said is what's wrong with the world today spare the rod spoil the child
@@gwendurden5096 you can’t spoil your child by loving them too much, also this method is for kids under 3, you might not be against it
He understood EVERYTHING. The problem with people like YOU is your assumption that children are idiots.They are not.
Great mom and this is why timeouts are tried and true, he just needed a minute, as do all of us.
I don't feel the time out method was nessacerry in this instance. It definitely wasn't a case of him not being nice! He just needed time to calm down then be asked to do the task.
It was only for one minute for goodness sake! He behaved afterwards.
Overreacting to this dropping a spoon and not being nice! Omg, too much. This is either tired or hungry, doesn’t need a time out. Is this mother for real?
@@colleenlanglois2915considering there was obviously something that happened before the recording started and you’re lacking context, I don’t think there’s a reason to make such a judgement. You don’t know what the child wanted because there wasn’t enough in that interaction to tell
Thank you for saying this. I don’t think this was age appropriate, nor do I think the punishment matches the behavior.
He didn’t even know what to be sorry for or how to say I’m sorry..
@@odeleya1768that makes it even more weird, that she paused her parenting to set up her tripod…or made something up for the camera. The offense and the consequence don’t match the child’s age. This is more appropriate for a child that’s 3-4
He is already learning to regulate his own emotions. I love this!!
He's not. He's way to little for that. The only thing he's learning is being alone in his worst moments. And no help. Such little kids need grownups to regulate. Biologicaly they simply cant regulate by themselves.
@@magorzataaleksandrawiadere9924 I'm of the same thought
@@magorzataaleksandrawiadere9924 I’m pretty sure this is co-regulation, which usually starts around toddler age. She’s present during time out and has a calm demeanor. It’s showing him the cues to calm down which it looks like he’s understanding quite well. Kids are capable of self regulation on their own when they reach kindergarten age, so I definitely agree with you there. She definitely is helping him though.
Respect? THAT is anything but good parenting. She is forcing her child to be "good" and this poor baby is only "good enough" for the mother if it obeys and does things that are required of the child. This type of "parenting" disgusts me... the child is treated like a robot that has to listen, otherwise it is "bad" if it doesn't feel like picking up a spoon.
@ I think it depends on the context. For all we know he threw the spoon on the ground after eating, and she’s showing him that it’s belongs in the trash when he’s done using it. This is more about consequences than anything
Oh, uau! I am shocked that so many people think this is ok for the development of the child. It is not! I am sure that this mom is doing her best, but it is important to read some more about tantrums, emotional needs and maturation, attachment, and so on.
There is not one thing wrong!m with what this mom is doing. She is doing what works, what age appropriate. Excellent mom!!
And there is no reason to expose the little child to our nonsense criticism…. A bit of privacy and respect on children’s needs is necessary
@@Bethany-cx6pdpeople are allowed to disagree. The situation was handled well but there WERE some things that were not right about this.
I disagree e came into this world knowing nothing n its our jobs as parents to teach thm everything n to discipline ur child so tat thy no bounderys n groundment n helps thm to grow in confidence having order structure rules n discipline this mum is a very good mum I think tat ur on about children who ave been incare I agree thy do need handling with care n all the things u mentioned bt this child came frm his Mum n as only known his mum n whoeva else in his life like dad n family she is giving her child the best chance e has in life n this is the correct way of teaching him a brilliant n attentive mum
@@Splodgeit03
Like the kid did not understand what the whole spoon in the garbage was about. This is mean-ass treatment.
What a great mom, you are so patient.
As a now gma of a toddler I have learned to let them understand their feelings are valid. When my granddaughter is upset I say are you sad, would you like a hug and she usually says yes and I hug her through her emotions. I wish I had the same patience with my kids. Remember we are all people and deserve to feel without being made to feel bad ❤️
Whatever 😂
I totally agree with you … they need to be nurtured and cuddled and cared for not punished for their emotions … they are babies … I wish I had cuddled and nurtured my babies more … they are perfect well loved functioning adults now but still would be if I had just cuddled and loved them through their emotions … I do this with my beautifully behaved grandchildren … just shows they don’t need punishment ❤
Right on grandma. We have 10 grandchildren and I feel the exact same way. We think we're so smart when we're young.
Not a grand mother, but I had my first at 16 and my second at 33… I really relate to your comment about wishing you had those skills with your own children. I would give an arm and a leg if I could go back and use the skills I have now with my first.
Everyone is praising this woman when she literally set a camera up caused her kid to be upset then not only forced him into something then punished him all because of CONTENT!!! You GREAT Job 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Exactly!
Not at all, she could have set this up multiple times and finally caught the tantrum this time. I’m raining a 2yr as a sahm so I’m literally living this same life.
Totally disagree.
You gonna be visiting your children in prison
Her hubby was recording it…
Father of 3. Never once gave my kids a time-out and invalidated their feelings. Discuss, inform, try again when the temper is better. When they do the chore -Give them allot of kudos. 2 times and then they will be totally "programmed" to how easy it is to keep a nice dynamic, My kids are 5, 11 and 15, and all are very well mannered today.
It’s not about “invalidating feelings”. It is about correcting behavior. Glad to hear your kids are all doing great.
This is beyond disturbing !
What freak! She is just a programmed robot!
..
Good job father👏🏼
@@mika.claudia I’m seeing a lot of hostile trash talk from people using the same buzz words like “invalidating their feelings”. I’m just wondering who the “programmed robots” are at this point.
@bluewater454 Read development of children... and you will get more clarity on this... as I am not going to dissect a salad here ...
@@mika.claudiaMika I don’t need to read a book of psychobabble. I had two great parents and a great extended family to teach me. And I have already raised three kids of my own. This woman is doing just fine.
Hey mom, it's nice to see a little disapline put back into child rearing. It could be the start of a better world ! Kudos mom.
He’s not being unkind, he’s simply showing the honest energy and feelings of a toddler. The approach that you’re using misses that completely
yes, and the boy looks like is not comfortable in front of camera too:( really sad
But you only seen a short clip 😂
Time outs are a form of psychological abuse, and a version of love withdrawal. Time outs don’t teach children how to calm down and change their behavior. This approach instead leads to shame, disconnection, and even worse behavior. If you want to deepen your connection to your child, and foster connection, not compliance, do not use this approach!
I highly recommend reading “Unconditional Parenting” by Alfie Kohn to understand why children “act out”, how the brain develops, and the ways to further deepen your connection to your child. Good luck to this mother, and to her children
@@shandrasvActually she is forming a bond by teaching structure all while showing him how much she loves him by hugging him and moving on happily. Kids DO need structure, trust me I hate to say it but you’re there to GUiDE them as a parent not be their “bestie”, you’re their emotional support but you’re also their teacher it’s called BALANCE? A well rounded human being knows to give and be kind all while being respectful, having values and knowing boundaries. If you give too much of those things and not a little bit of both your child might grow up entitled, selfish and confused with decision making. I was treated with so much love growing up but my family never grounded me and I was not given any chores in the house, I grew up to be codependent and always needing partners who made me feel “secure”, in the process I dated narcissists and manipulators. I was in my comfort zone from the time I was a baby til in my 20’s, I’ve corrected this now in my 30’s but it’s taken some therapy and structure.
@shandrasv omg stop! It seems to me that after 1 min, he calmed himself down and showed kind behavior. She's doing far better in this short clip than most parent do for their kids that actually hit and curse their kids. How dare you call this abuse!!!???
Right or wrong, definitely authoritarian style.
Es lo que se necesita... Los padres, con bondad, deben hacerse respetar siempre. No son amigos, son padres. Si quieres al hijo, lo enseñas para su mejor futuro.
what does this even imply? i can’t tell if it’s in support or against this kind of parenting.
@@dreamweaver444I think they’re just identifying it as an authoritarian style and saying whether it’s right or wrong is in the eyes of the beholder.
@@dreamweaver444its completely traumatizing for the child. He will have these issues for life that his mom is doing to him now
@dianasadjadifard7626 😁 omfg 😁 traumatizing teaching him right from wrong. Which is why anyone under 30 are completely lost & weak .can't take accountability work a job of any kind must less a warehouse or labor job sadness useless generations are all we have ahead of us to look forward to. Dammit sad
This crying baby needed to be hugged and comforted. The mom was cold as ice expecting a toddler to follow rules like a ten year old should do. My heart was breaking for the child. How anyone could praise her parenting is beyond me.
If you don’t teach them to behave .trouble will begin very soon .that is good parenting .
No, it's cold hearted
How do you comfort and hug a screaming kid. Let him scream it out
I so agree!
@@carolinawatts1959nobody said that a mom must not teach a child to behave.
and it strikes me that you do not respond at all to what is said in the comment and that you suggest that the person would have said that they would think that you should not parent. which is clearly not the case. the point is more how do you do that and is this the way?
Where do you see the ( so called) tantrum and when does it starts in your opinion. What behavior is the "not nice behavior" where the mother refers to? And do you think the reaction of the mother is nice. And how does this help in your opinion the boys education / learning. What does he learn from it. Or can it be in any way obstructieve and confusing and so by that : obstruct the " learning to behave"
I think that the confusion about what is nice and the wrong labeling ect. Is not helping at all for that goal ( more it is obstructieve )
My heart is broken. It hurts me for that boy.... He needs love and not to be trained like a dog...
If you can’t be nice? He wasn’t being mean lmao 🤣
My thought 😂
Being nice is a thing moms say to toddlers as a reference for being good like in this clip he was throwing tantrum so she said he wasn’t being nice. Hoped this helped
@ lol I already knew that. She made it worst and escalated the problem in my opinion when she wouldn’t listen and just skipped to disciplining him for the video sakes. She set up a tri pod or phone waiting for a moment like this to happen. It’s odd. Parent psychologists have been able to make strides in helping parents for decades before social media. I’ve seen a lot of her videos and while they have good intentions of course this boy is in a few videos having emotional irregularities for the purpose of educating other parents on her end rather than being able to fully go through the tantrum, expressing his feelings in a healthy way of course then having a moment to himself. She interrupted him halfway when he was actually pretty calm to a typical “tantrum”
@ parents in this generation need to follow their motherly intuition to make the right calls. This generation is relying on parent advisors on social media to give us all the answers or coaching then when they try it at home many studies show mothers not feeling authentic doing this type of stuff.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😅
This is excellent. Mom is staying calm and showing her little boy manners and then riding it out to calm her son down😮
@@judystanko3470 she's not calm. She grabbed his arm
Remember he's in a stage to be curious about his spoon not ready to let go. You're so busy tobteach him qbd yet don't care about his feeling. Go along with him to do what he to do with his spoon. Be open, you're the adult. C'MON BE THE ADULT FLEXIBLE AND OPEN TO EXPLORE WITH HIM AND HIS WAY TILL HE'S READY TO BE PPEN TO YOU THEN YOU SHOVE IN HIM WHATEVER YOU WANT. REMEMBER THE ATTENTION SPAN IS VERY SHORT LIKE PEANUT THAN YOUR WATERMELON BRAIN. SLOW DOWN. CALM DOWN. MAKE HIS LEARNING FUN INSTEAD RIGID NOT FUN TO LEARN FROM THEN HE'LL HATE LEARNING BECAUSE YOU'RE OVERWELMING. DRIVES THEM CRAZY THEY DON'T WANT TO BE ON THIS EARTH. HE'S NOT HAPPY. STOP TEACHING. YOU'RE FIGHTING WITH OVERWHELMING MOTHER. DO IT TO YOURSELF. NOT TO A TODDLER. CHILL OUT MOTHER. YOU'RE NOT PERFECT AND YOU WANT HIM TO BE PERFECT. YOU'RE NOT.😢😢😢
Are you kidding me? Look closely...Observe how she pulls his young are forcefully and pulls him to the waste basket. She probably left an bruise. He is just a baby yet with no understanding what she wanted. She could of waited to do this when he was about 2-3 yrs. old. This was not necessary at this age, and this would probably left emotional scars.
@@Nob-c3j kids are not that fragile. Highly doubt he's bruised 💀
@@xtonibx5770 You think?? I have seen it happen I have 3 children, and at that age, it doesn't take much
He’s too young to be punished. All you need to do is talk to them until they eventually learn. Kids need love and guidance, and healthy boundaries.
Awful that people think this is decent parenting. Heart breaking for all those babies out there being punished just for being babies 😢
Idk, if they're old enough to throw a tantrum, they're old enough to be disciplined.
@ And discipline doesn’t equal unhealthy and ineffective punishment.
I’ve seen your video before and I just came across it again and I know it’s a sign. Yesterday was the first time I got frustrated with my 20 month old. He’s beginning to “act out” (I know it’s normal toddler behavior) and I find my self having a hard time handling it since I’m trying to gentle parent. He is barely learning to talk and use his words but I most definitely needed to see this again to remind myself that us as parents are the ones in charge and we can definitely correct them by being firm without being aggressive.
feel bad for that kid, this videos gonna be on the internet forever
will have good materials for therapy
@@amelkaa721 do people actually mention that shit in therapy, lil things like that? I would just think it's a stupid reason tbh
Yea i really dont understand this trend of filming your baby when they have a meltdown. Like why? That child will grow up watching these videos. You could relay this message another way and not like this. Poor baby
First fail - using your child for internet clicks. The energy these parents put into filming these “moments” is nothing but an acting stage to gain an audience. The amount of time & effort for all of this to create a scene is astounding.
Girl please
I wonder if this woman understands that at this age, a toddler can pick an item up, but not easily let go of it, due to motor development. Toddlers throw things when told to place them down or place them in the garbage because their grasping skills are so strong and the ability to do a controlled release has not developed. A pediatric Occupational Therapist can explain that. He is crying because he cannot do what he is asked to do. He knows he is being made to sit down and he is doing it because he is afraid. Also, vague directions like "Be nice" are not appropriate or effective for children at any age, but especially not in early childhood. This makes my blood run cold. All these misguided mothers modeling dangerous parenting tactics. Don't listen to her!
Falsch er will.einfach nur seinen Willen durchsetzen !! Das ihr immer alles hoch dramatisch darstellen müsst.
Unmöglich!!!
😂😂😂 be quiet
@@claudia-gp6jb It is reportable as child abuse on TH-cam.
@@claudia-gp6jbHi, Kleinkinder sind noch nicht in der Lage ihre Gefühle zu regulieren. Er ist traurig frustriert und fühlt sich hilflos. Dafür wird ihm gesagt das er ein schlechtes Kind ist und danach ignoriert. Er lernt wenn er sich Hilflos fühlt und wütend und traurig und das zeigt wird er ignoriert und das ist problematisch
That's an amazing aspect to view on. Thank you.
Control, dominance, punishment; this is where it all starts.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
You are so right. This was horrendous to watch. Thanks for speaking up.
as a teenager he'll throw all the real spoons in the garbage, one by one, and do a science project on how long it takes plastic to break down in a landfil.
it all evens out.
Sure, I liked how soft spoken she stayed BUT , I DID NOT think it was cool for her to try to force him to throw the spoon out ! That was an AGRESSIVE AND FORCEFUL MOVE on HER PART ! TRYING TO CONTROL A 1 -3 YEAR OLD THAT IS NATURALLY GOING THROUGH TERRIBLE TWO'S or 3's , HORMONIALLY IS JUST CRAZY TO ME !! AND SHE SEEMS LIKE A BIT OF A CONTROL FREAK !!
LISTEN UP MOMS , your toddlers will naturally go through this stage at 2 or 3 then they grow out of it, it is their hormones and NOT A BEHAVIOR THING, SO BE KIND AND GENTLE WITH THEM !! GRABBING THEM BY THE ARM AND TRYING TO FORCE THEIR ARM TO THROW A SPOON OUT AT 1-3 YEARS OLD IS LUDICROUS !!!
SHE IS PASSAVE AGRESSIVE IMO ! AFTERALL HE IS ONLY ABOUT 1- 2 YEARS OLD NOT 5 YRS OLD, NOT THAT ITS OK TO DO TO A 5 YEAR OLD EITHER, ITS NOT OK TO DO TO ANY CHILD AT ANY AGE , THAT IS YOU LOOSING CONTROL IMO !! My point is a 4 or 5 year old understands the logic that a plastic spoon goes in the garbage and will be able to comply. Why? Because he learned it , THIS IS NOT HOW YOU TEACH A TODDLER , TEACH HIM BY REPITION OF MAKING A GAME OUT OF IT , WITH A LITTLE SONG MAYBE , REPITITION OF HIM SEEING YOU THROWING YOUR PLASTIC SPOON OUT FIRST THEN , YOU SAYING. "OK NOW YOU CAN GO AHEAD AND THROW YOURS OUT NOW TOO ", THEN PRAISING HIM , NOT FORCING HIM !!!
LIGHTEN UP LADY OR YOU WILL BE HARMING YOUR CHILDS PHYCHE !!! This made me FEEL SO SCARED FOR HIM , THAT I CRINGED !!!
She seemed to be channeling the online mom ," RUBY FRANKE", that documented on social media , " How to discipline her children ", and had millions of followers, and then she was arrested for HORRIFICALLY ABUSING HER CHILDREN, PUNISHING THEM WITH TORTURE , STARVATION , TAKING THEIR BEDS AWAY ETC., !! THERE IS A VERY THIN LINE BETWEEN DISCIPLINE AND BEING POWER HUNGRY BE VERY CAREFUL AND BE KIND TO YOUR CHILDREN !! HER SOFT TONE WAS GREAT, BUT HER PHYSICAL CONTACT WAS AGGRESSIVE IN THIS VIDEO !
LOOK UP RUBY FRANKE , IN UTAH, SHE ACTED VERY SIMULAR !! AND NOW SHE has LOST her children and will be in prison for a VERY, VERY LONG TIME !!!
BE KIND TO ALL THE LITTLE ONES. THEY ARE INNOCENT AND ARE STILL LEARNING !❤❤❤
I RAISED MY SON AS A STAY AT HOME MOM , THEN FOUND MYSELF AS A SINGLE PARENT , WHEN HIS DADDY , (MY HUSBAND), DIED OF AN ACCIDENT, AND I NEVER TREATED MY CHILD LIKE THIS, IT IS UNNECESSARY AND PLAIN WRONG ! YOU ARE THE ADULT STAY IN CONTROL OF YOUR EMOTIONS AT ALL TIMES !!! OUT THINK THEM, DO NOT FORCEFULLY CONTROL THEM, THEY ARE JUST INNOCENT LITTLE CHILDREN !!!❤
@@meriettasmith373AGREED !❤
You should have a TED talk on how you handle children ❤❤
Wow, way to create a negative narrative in your child’s head when it comes to cleaning up after themselves! You have to help him settle down emotionally first until you do that he doesn’t give a shit of what you want him to do, this is so horrible.
What a clueless human being
Nope..ur wrong.
That child needs a hug, kid and a nap, not a timeout…
SO VERY TOTALLY AGREE!!!!
Pissed me off!! 🤬
When you lose your child at 17 you’re so happy you were ALWAYS KIND & SWEET to them when they were growing up, that’s all you had! I was still VERY respected! My son died in an accident not his fault! He knew he was LOVED 😢
Yall are ridiculous.... she is doing just fine people always wanna tell others how to raise their own kids.
AMEN AMEN AMEN
I thought the same!!!
He needed a big hug & maybe a little rocking to NAP ~ he would've settled himself with a hug
Forcing him to do the task was useless & stupid ~ kids don't learn a task while in distress ~ revisit the task when he's NOT crying ~ suggesting picking up the spoon AFTER he had calmed down would've shown him that the task wasn't a big deal ~ I believe he saw the task as the punishment
He's obviously had SEVERAL time outs as he's communicating while being sat down
"Say sorry Mom" 🤔 sorry for what??? Showing his feelings??
For being tired?
This wasn't the time for "sorry" ~ don't throw around the word "sorry" ~ it truly looses it's true meaning & just becomes a habit to excuse one's bad behaviour after the fact
Obviously there had been several attempts of putting the spoon in the garbage as he's fighting it the whole way while she's using force to "make" him do it
All children are different & react in different ways in different situations
There's no "one way fix all"
"If you can't be nice" & "Are you ready to be nice" ~ what is being nice? Being a perfect little soldier?
This video is more harmful than helpful
I made a crap load of mistakes as a mother ~ parents also are "learning" while parenting ~ we're not perfect & we never will be ~ therefore our children won't be perfect ALL the time
This video IS a teaching tool ~ teaching us how to NOT handle a situation that may or may not have been "created" for our viewing
😢 All the hate comments i see on this post makes me fear our future. If you do not correct children, they will grow up to act a fool and be disrespectful to others because they grew up getting away with poor behavior and having bad attitudes even while at home. if parents do not have structured boundaries set, children grow up not knowing right from wrong. Parents that don't disciple their children, end up "raising" disrespectful brats.
She did not yell. She set a 1 min timer. He was able to calm down. If she is consistent, he will know what behaviors are acceptable or not. Good job Mom! You did a great job! 🎉
Exactly!! 💯💯💯💯💯
This mom did great! Her child will learn boundaries and to learn that his “feelings” are not to be inflicted on others. Those parents who “studied psychology” are scary, and they have the kids who are lashing out because they can’t control their “feelings”. My son is 25, and knows how to behave, is respectful of others, and was raised with boundaries and expectations.
Girl she physically forced him to throw away the spoon, and punished him for crying after because he wanted the spoon. He did what she wanted and he still got punished because he cried. Thats a toddlers way of expressing emotions because they cannot speak yet. No one is saying "let the kids do whatever they want", we can just see that this is obviously going to gradually lead to emotional suppression.
@@Katrn30 at toddlerhood a gentler approach may be used. When the kid is ilder, they maybe the punishments.
Love this ❤ wish I had this as a child this touched me awww ❤❤❤❤
Ouch, this hurts my feelings. For me this is a way of telling him: don't be human, just be a nice and "loving" robot. ignore your own feelings and just do and say what authorities tell you, no matter what
I agree!!!! I feel sorry for that baby let him play! A young mom who does not know any better. Maybe there is something else he wants to do with the damn spoon. Rather teach him to recicle or mix some paint with the spoon or dig in the ground with it. Life is not all about what you want him to do and your commands. 😥😥
What is that kid even apologising for? He hesitated literal SECONDS before she violently forced him!
He just looks tired, he's only a baby.
@@antigone4309 agree she is the childish one. Could have had a nice long play outside bonding wit all the time she spends disciplining and then we wonder why they do not like us when they grow up.. All the pushed down emotions is coming right back where they originated.. You just wait and see mommy. Gonna have lots of anger issues one day when he can think for himself
@@leonorekarer wait till he hurts your feelings one day. That is ouch my girl that is ouch. Why should your emotions count if his is not important. He is the child.
No,this is so awful..people are not designed to be robots..they have feelings and should be allowed to express them.
Shes treating him with such rigidity.
I agree, watching this made me feel so sad for him. He was punished for having feelings? He didn’t even do anything that was “not nice.” He’s being taught he can’t express his emotions.
Yes! She is rigid also! It is her way or the highway!
She is deleting my comments asking viewers to report her channel. This needs to be reported.
State schooling is robot education...
Oh man, you are a good mom. Thank you for allowing him to calm down without making him feel shame. The only thing I, personally, might change is instead of saying "when you're ready to be nice", i might say "when you're ready to follow directions". That way, it is clear that the issue is with his actions as opposed to with his character (he isn't an unkind child, he just isn't following directions)
I don’t think he would know what directions mean yet.
I tell my son, "listening ears"
@@Katie-b2u they understand what you teach them, kids are smarter than you think. they also internalize EVERYTHING you say so wording is important, saying “when you’re ready to be nice” seems innocent, but it implies to the child that they are inherently mean or bad. it’s also very vague, kids don’t fully understand good and bad yet, you have to be direct and explain clearly which you cannot do if they are crying or hysterical. as a daycare teacher “until you calm down and we can talk about it” was my go to. validate their feelings and frustrations, give them a moment to breath and reflect, and then you can clearly explain what behavior got them in trouble. we didn’t see what happened before or after this video but she’s clearly doing her best and that’s what counts more than anything, although i will say i’m not a fan of posting children on the internet ESPECIALLY when they are upset or crying, it’s a total violation of their privacy and just seeing the camera in your peripheral can make you feel unsafe and breaks trust (speaking from experience)
Sorry that was a bit to harsh for a little.
@@Katie-b2uhe will with consistency which you need to have as a good parent. 😉
My im crying while watching this .. u are amazing mother❤ ur patience is marvelous ❤
Great job mom! That's the best way of letting him know how much you care and love him.😊❤
By punishing him for not being what she wants him to be?? Yup a-1 parenting.
This is sick.😢 this is why adult people need therapy. "Are you ready to be nice?" Of course not, because my mother blackmail me through the love and she try to reward me by hugs. 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
@@sandraboatman6387no they aren't. Here the mum is loving and it shows and she does what she's read is best. But she equates "being angry" and "not being nice" in this scene and this doesn't look healthy. Well it's just one scene and this doesn't mean she hasn't other ways to show her son that it's ok to feel emotions but as a mother myself seeing this scene hurts a little bit
😂😂😂😂😂 but some people you will kill us with laughter one day I hear black mail, mbu this is sick, simanyi parents need therapy 😂😂😂😂😂😂 ahaaaaa
@@emmahyzjuziefhej53356 Exactly this. A lot of people don't realize how damaging it can be for a toddler to feel like they are not "nice", based on interactions like these. Just because this kid was crying and didn't want to throw the spoon, doesn't mean he wasn't "nice".
Allowing a child to reflect on their feelings and actions is a good thing though, and a time-out is perfect for that as long as you communicate why it happened. Just don't tell the child they aren't nice, that rhetoric belongs in the past.
When I do this to my kid he gets worse and worse and worse until I can't even hear myself speaking anymore
@@Tha_G0at yeah I guess mine would too, for me the key is to help her go through the crisis by hugging her and giving her words to express what the problem is, and it works really well for now, crises never last long and she's generally super sweet
He seems a little young to be this strict yet. Is he not allowed to be upset now and then? Is he not nice? He seems fine to me, maybe just a little tired or frustrated. Asking him if he's ready to be nice seems ridiculous to me because he's not being mean, he's simply showing emotion. Maybe another year or 2 from his age in this it would be a bit more appropriate.
NO! Perfect age to learn. Good grief!
Good job. They need Boundaries. Bless you for blessing your baby.❤
Being acknowledged for feeling emotions and comforted when being taught how to handle these is a lesson for life ❤
For me as an European this is interesing to see because the majority of parents here would at first adress the toddlers feelings and when the toddler is stable and responsive for any further action, we would tell them what to do with the spoon. Your child was in disstress and was not able to learn until his feelings setteled.
I grew up like your shown example and it caused a lot of harm to me that I now have to sort out.
And although your videos pretty sure are helpful for others, it definitly violates your childs privacy. If an adult is willing to show himself in some sort of disstress, this is totally fine as long as he / she knows about the impact this has on themselves. But children don‘t know anything about it and aren‘t able to give their consent. It clearly has some sort of bitter taste.
She will ignore this and keep exploiting her childs privacy for money likes and views in the name of "helping others". The info would be just as valuable not showing his face or just idk telling us.
Couldn't agree more. Most damaging mathod - "time out"! Read some psychological research and brain scans by your fellow American dr Amen rather than stupid YT or IG influencers. You are setting your child up for future depression. Painful to watch....
It's also not good to pull the child to the garbage bin. No sense in it. I am also European. And I wonder how often the little one throws a tantrum. My younger daughter was'nt the easyist child, but she never three a tantrum as often AS this Boy.
@@ajj4687c insupportable à regarder je suis d'accord avec vous😮😢
@ajj4687 time out when done right isn't damaging. It gives the child a moment to reflect and regulate.
Screaming, hitting, beating and berating... that's how you damage a child.
This is exactly what we did. It really works. And no reason to raise your voice. You stayed calm the whole time.
Such agreat job coz ur raising him well at the end he will be able to face the world at times when you are not around 🙏🙏
yesss trying this with my toddler and i can definitely see he is starting to understand how i expect him to behave. These videos are a life saver! thanks Olivia!!
@@CrystalRocksThis how you “expect” him to behave 🫣
@@rawganic5183yes! Expect to behave. Because they have to live in this world with other beings who are equally entitled to everything the world has to offer. So yes! There is some expectation from everyone and we are better off by teaching it to them young
@@sonutresa you have a point to an extent
@@sonutresaomg thank you. They’re gonna grow up n have school, jobs, friends, significant others. You have to prepare them for real world interactions. You’ll be doing them a favor. There’s a reason why there are some people you just can’t take anywhere cause they always have issues dealing with others.
@@sonutresa💯💯💯💯💯💯🙏🏾🙏🏾
This is wrong in so so so so many levels, I can’t even begin!!!
It is. The praise is so bizarre.
The whole thing from start to finish. At least people are waking up. Not everyone in the chat see’s it but a significant minority do! THERES HOPE FOR US!!!
This is terrible! Kids do not learn by doing this! We need to be loving, as adults, we are the ones who need to be patient and nice. You are reaching your kid to repress his emotions, just because they bother you.
This is terrible! Kids do not learn by doing this! We need to be loving, as adults, we are the ones who need to be patient and nice. You are reaching your kid to repress his emotions, just because they bother you.
Yes it just causing fractures in the child
Sure lets film our child in a vulnerable moment and post it on the internet. Fantastic parenting.
This video helps a lot of moms as u can tell by the comments. The child is fine, you’re just mad you didn’t grow up with a mom like her lol, and it’s showing.
Vulnerability moment? It's a toddler having a tantrum, it happens 12x an hour, it's not that deep!
I mean this definitely helped me.. I do not have a child but in the future I’d love to remember this video. I wish my mom responded like this to me as a child, I’m going to break the cycle 💅✨
@@MeghanDunbar-c8n no but I would be upset if my mom exploited these moments of me. The same could've been done without having a child in the video. People need to stop thinking behaviour like this is okay. We don't need to show our kids having a tough time to get our point across about parenting techniques.
I couldn't agree more. 😁
You abandoned him when he was in distress, so he would regulate his own emotions on his own. Then you came back when he was happy. He'll grow up being a people-pleaser, you teach him that he will be abandoned if he shows his feelings of frustration, upset, or sadness. It's too early to leave him self-regulate, he is a baby, you're supposed to guide him in regulating his feelings, not leave him emotionally to deal with them on his own (even if you are physically present, you're still emotionally absent).
Baby boomer mom here. Why was it so important in that moment that he put the spoon in the trash? This could have been taught in a more positive way. What has happened before that made him sit and wait in time out? What was he doing that's not nice? Was his being upset not nice? Is he not allowed to be upset? You can't effectively teach an upset child. Why did he have to say I'm sorry?
I am 100% sure, that this poor 1 year old do not understand anything what mom want from him. Only thing he can get, that he 100% should please and obey whatever mom want!
It is better to start at 1 than 3 or 15. He now knows what mom expects without the trauma of yelling. She can tell him WHY he needs to obey as he gets older. She is setting the stage for calm conversation.
Looks like he understood. Also he came out with a better attitude & his words.
Lo veo normal qué obedezca ,aprenden de pequeños ,no hay más
He's a baby!!!!! Sick @@nancyballard8666
Claro que si entiende. Burn trabajo de la madre
I love the one minute! Many blessings to this wonderful family. 💖
Never too young to be held accountable for your actions… Great job mom
Being abusive and neglacting at the same time. Great job.
Rubbish
Excellent parenting! No screaming, no yelling, no pushing the kid, or spanking. Simple and firm talk, soft voice and very kind and loving. Well done!
Sometimes the fact that you say something in a calm voice doesn’t make it any less harmful than screaming.
And he still had to do what he was supposed to do. GREAT parenting.
@@scottlandon4149but did she say anything harmful? No so idk why this comment is even relevant.
She forced him. Literally took his hand when he was literally not wanting to. Forcing a humans body to do something they do not want to do it WRONG.
@@cyanidesidesalad in the video the todler isn't being "not nice" he's clearly very upset and struggling to control and manage his own feelings, the only thing this method teaches is him to not rely on others and NOT learn to control his emotions
Mom needs to read about development, he's just trying to please her not understanding really. Piaget sets the stages of development.
@@Olive88-y3gI agree. So report it as such! Watching these videos and ignoring the abuse signs is wrong!
You have a clear misunderstanding of Piaget. She is following social learning theory where emotional regulation and appropriate behavior is modeled.
@@ceeceel.3098 do not report anything. This is not abuse, and it is vile and disgusting that you would think so. There are kids ACTUALLY being abused.
@@hnclym98not appropriate for the age. you do not know better than psychological sciences.
At the end of the day, every family situation is different and every child requires different types of parenting. All these so called “professionals” should just chill out 😂