@@suzanneadamson1306 Eyes truly are the window to the soul. No matter how much you may not want to accept it? There is a spiritual component to all this as well. They are soulless, unempathic, unsympathetic, unfeeling demons. Almost as if, possessed at times by pure evil and malicious intent.
No contact for almost three years. One time I thought I saw her in passing. I was walking home. Car is coming past me, I happen to look up. Man driving, and woman is glowering at me from passenger side. It’s her. It’s random, I didn’t expect to see her and the car isn’t one I’ve seen her in. It’s been 9 months since I left. She saw me first before I noticed her in the car. She is trying to stare me down. I’m indifferent. I look back, making sure it is her and also, I’m not going to buckle or show any form of negative reaction: fear, loathing, hatred, or any emotion of any kind. I’m stone cold. She balks. And tries to look the victim and looks to the man driving, trying to draw attention. His focus is on the road, he isn’t looking. I don’t get a vibe off him, he looks like he doesn’t want to know. The car passes me by, I go home, daddy cool. Her usual, Reactive Abuse, didn’t work this time. I felt nothing. Her initial hostility, then looking doubtful then trying to play the victim, I’ve seen it all before. I went no contact for a reason, and she made it easier with her serious accusations and also with her severe gaslighting and manipulation. That was two years ago I last saw her. I’ve not seen her in person. I think that’s a blessing every day. I hope I don’t ever see her again, in this life or the next. Ever again. I’ve nothing I want to say to her. There’s nothing worth saying to someone like her. I’m good and I cut that cancer out to live. I made my closure on her years ago.
Good on you! I’m in the process of moving out and going no contact from the male version. He initiated the discard, but I’m leaning into it. Let him be somebody else’s nightmare.
Like Jess says, it just may be that you CAN'T avoid them...which is why you NEVER date a neighbor - especially a neighbor in the same building - and NEVER, EVER, EVER date a coworker. Ever.
Don't ignore them, yet don't go out of your way, if you have to face them just keep moving and say you're in a hurry...show zero emotions, not fear, anger...nothing...poker face makes them feel they don't exist to you anymore
Yeah, I like this one! I've heard so many stories from both sides that I agree with of how to deal with this or versions of both sides, but this is the one that's the most authentic me
It was 6 months...I did nothing but self reflect and consume vulnerable narc information (thanks to Jess). I saw her in the store, a warm and comfortable feeling came over me like a was completely protected with a thick armor of knowledge and self respect. I smiled and nodded. The look on her face glared hate and surprise, but her eyes were pain and sadness. 3 hours later I received an email after zero contact for 6 months. It said “I’m glad you’re over me but I’m not over you, don’t ever do that again!” I promise you it is way more uncomfortable for them, truly they can’t stand to see you alive and “happy”.
It alone, they will ask you why you haven't contacted them... Remember they sat back waiting for you to beg even though you had moved forward... Best answer to that is "because I don't want to and never will want to contact you, it is over"...
Couldn't possibly be bothered. 🤣🤣🤣🤷🏾♀️ I've worked so hard on myself. I'm lightyears ahead of where he dumped and ditched me. It hurt at first, but after a while, I realized his departure was such a blessing. 💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾 Onward, forward!
I've seen them yesterday walking down the road and had a bit of a chuckle deep in my soul . Totally surprised myself by not feeling sad or even remotely missing what we had , because we had nothing. The marriage was never real ,I see her for who she is and always was ( massive fake 😄)
They made me feel like such a piece of sh!t I'm just glad to be out of the life of someone I (supposedly) made so burdened, annoyed, was beneath her, and unhappy. When I saw that my ex got remarried it was a HUGE relief. I felt like finally someone else is at fault for her unhappiness. Not me. If I ever saw her I would probably feel the same sense of failure but I would know it stopped. That hole wasn't being dug deeper.
I knew there was another person when he began to tell me, I am a lone wolf, I don't have relationships! I got a lot of clarity by his words and actions.
Saw mine whilst out shopping and she panicked and wouldn't come in the supermarket. Mind you. I had called them out publicly on been a covert narcissist and had discovered that they had accessed and been reading through my medical records at the hospital where she works. May have had something to do with why she ran!!
@@lucymarbles59 In the UK so a bit different on laws, but yeah I wasn't impressed. It's been months since I found out and no explanation or apology, no real surprise there. I only found out because a friend highlighted me really been off after break up and was concerned. Spoke to them and explained I was trying to get out of this trauma bond hell. They clicked what was going on and suggested I checked who had looked at my records. As regards sacking and all the rest of it, that ain't my dept and I'm not vindictive. So staying out of all that lot.
Always seems to happen to me when I think I might be turning a corner. I didn't even see 'her', just spotted her car driving in the opposite direction coming out of the supermarket. That was enough to stir up all sorts of stuff I haven't felt for a long time. I guess it will slowly sink back down to the bottom again, until the next time we pass. I feel so sad as much as anything else. I should be feeling angry but I just feel sad.
When my husband and I were looking for a house a few years ago, it was between this one and one that was not far from where my sister lives. The odds of my seeing her at church were really high, if I didn't want to drive to a different neighborhood. My husband was really against the idea, and since I had already gone no contact, he insisted that we buy this one, which was OK with me. A few months later, a tornado blew through the neighborhood where the other house was located, destroying many of the buildings in sight. I guess we made the right decision!
Treating like the invisible person is the best way. Difficult when your still not clear on what happened yet sense it. I don't like being with someone that hides things and lies to me. I accepted that fact to give myself closure. I stopped expecting accountability from him and focused on the fact I would never have stayed with someone that treated me like that regardless. I don't want that lifestyle
Kirby again. I was hit by her a few months ago. I let it go now she beat me real good over conversation of old boyfriend. She beat the crap out of me subsequently arrested. So now I really need it. Restraing order has kept her no contact thus far. Thank you again.
Found my narcissist on the bus in my country when we still had to wear masks on public transport I was right beside her as we were getting our tickets I was wearing a mask so she didn't recognize me but it just felt awkward for me but I didn't say anything to her she just went to the upper deck of the bus
Powerful message Jess! You are probably right, even after three years I am still hanging on a little bit and it’s time to completely cut the cord and move on. Really appreciate your message and a heartfelt thank you for what you do!
He lives next door and sits on the front with these woman flaunting I've got no way in to mine but to walk past them hurts deeply every day I'm in a dark place atm the moment thank you for all your AMAZING video's 🙏🙏🙏💜💗💖💔💕💕💕🥰
I haven’t seen the ex-narcissist I reckon he’s avoiding all the places he knows that I go to as he’s afraid of what I might do or say to him in public, he’s always been a coward and whenever I raised my voice in public he would plead with me to lower my voice or talk about it in a private place-and of course, I never did just told him what I needed to say and he’d redden in embarrassment; he’s afraid of any sort of confrontation.
I intentionally ran into my narc and I did this in a public setting and she confronted me and said I was stalking her I reminded her that this was a public place and I will go whenever I want to and with whom I want to go with i told her unlike you who drives past my house repeatedly I also reminded her that I was not the one arrested for menacing and stalking and consequently found guilty in a court of law and also mentioned who her lawyer was this went over like a fart in church. I do not recommend this approach however afterwards i felt more in control and it gave me a sense of empowerment instead of feeling like I was caught off guard as i knew i would eventually run into her a some point .
I run into my ex he was shocked to see me and the hatred in his eyes, they went jet black even though he has blue eyes. I just ignored him and turned away. I was actually fine with it I must admit, I even surprised myself, now I know I’m healing 😌
…my biggest fear. Thank God I haven’t yet, that I know of. Although for my healing I’ve been avoiding wine festivals and all places I’ll know she’ll be. And my friends have verified her presence at these places with different men. I cannot handle that right now. Just need to focus on me.
Omg Jess this video is so exactly what I'm going through right now, I have to get over him it's been 4 years going through same shit but each hoover it gets worse & he makes me more wanting to hurt him make him pay for wrecking my live, I need to talk to some one plz!!
It's awkward, to say the least because we are socially programmed to greet those we know, particularly, if it's been a great amount of time since the last time interaction. It's an automatic reflex that the brain is hardwired to do. It takes retraining the mind alter itself
For me, closure was the vile and repugnant, repulsive ways he treated me less than a human being allowed to exist. That was enough closure for me. I know not everyone can do this. I still had to go through years of betrayal counseling and grief counseling. DBT therapy for all the gas lighting and coercion that had happened to me. But I never needed him to say he was sorry or somehow think he was going to listen to me n be nice. His actions alone was the closure I needed. If this can help anyone, please remember how badly they treated you, ... Especially at the end, during divorce, asset division, or child custody. If you think they're monsters during the marriage, they are demonic minions of Satan himself through the divorce process. I am lucky to be alive. You are all lucky to be alive. You all deserve better. And the closure is that they will never be loved or respected or cared for or supported by you ever again. Let them watch your beautiful ass walking away. Let Ur life with ur dreams happiness n success w healthy relationships be ur closure. Hugs y'all.
+Jess Stanley Praise the LORD.....closure = acceptance.......cannot change how we feel, but can control how we react.......i absolutely love your witty and brilliant quotes, Jess Stanley. God bless. Agape love
I should’ve watched this when it was uploaded…I just experienced this. I was at the bus stop and he pulled up on me…😮I was in shock…my nerves were wrecked and I didn’t know what to do. He told me to get in and he gave me a ride and then some. He took me where I needed to go and then on an errand to get his sister…it was irritating because I did the no contact and then this happened!! It wasn’t even a bad ride..but I’m still going back to the no contact strategy. I have to. I gotta protect myself.
Another fantastic video Jess. I saw the narc I was dealing with for the first time in almost 2 years and either she saw me and looked away or else she didn’t saw me at all but I sure as hell did see her 🥴
I ran into my narc at an IKEA, and it was interesting to say the least. I was looking at cribs for my newly arriving nephew, and she strolled in with her daughter. No ring, no man, no new supply, but I already knew that didn't mean anything. We locked eyes for a moment, and she had that "oh shit" look on her face. I already decided that there was not a chance in her that I would approach her, especially after how ruthless the discard was. She looked disheveled, frumpy, and put on a pile of weight. I grabbed my item and put it on the cart and proceeded through the stupid maze toward the cashier. I was almost at the cashier and guess who starts pushing her cart towards me down the same aisle. Not Santa Claus, but you know who. I thought this would be interesting because I wasn't going to budge for shit. We had locked eyes, so I knew she saw me. She got to about 10 feet from me and then ducked down a side aisle in a rush. I just rolled my eyes and shook my head, not knowing what to make of that. I just didn't give a shit at that point. As I drove home, I thought that her future looked bleak. A studio apartment with 50 cats, what an aroma that will be.
They just seem to not understand Beauty come from inside that's all they show is they rotten inside they're just grotesque you have to pray for him but you don't have to deal with them that I refuse to do
Before technology all you had was your natural abilities to act or react in the close range of this/these person/people. I was being myself and not putting thought into it as i was accepting there is a different dynamic in the relationship and i have to still be myself and adjust accordingly. With technology I still have to be myself around them but it confirms the flipside of the relationship was not genuine and I am not anyone special to the narc and acceptance again is what I have to have in order to be myself moving forward
6 weeks no contact. I thought I saw her the other day at a boat ramp and it wasn't her but it was a almost identical looking woman. The woman who went out of her way to tell me I was a leader and how much she loved me only later to become the woman who tried to feed me rotten meat. And I still miss her. There is definitely something wrong with that. Empaths are going to have to start accepting responsibility for our own toxicity as we are rarely attracted to each other and are always attracted to narcissists.
I encountered my ex narc a month ago. I knew I would see him at some point, since he lives in my dads area. He is a man of routine, so after a motorbike ride he goes the same way home. One day, I left the corner store on that ride home, and ended up behind him. I was going to my friends who lives close to my dad. I did not want him to see where I was going, so I drove to my dad's. He passes my dad's on his way home. We drove up to stop signs and right behind him, and I knew he saw me. I pulled into my dad's, and that was that. Or, so I thought. Of course the next day, I saw he called but he's blocked, and have my voicemail full, so he cannot leave awful messages. He tried to call again, the day after that. I'm sure ,with no response from me made him crazy😵💫. I bet he thinks I am following him. All I know is, it feels great to be no contact, and even better he has no idea where I live. Living NARC FREE✌❤
I did run into mine 5 mounths after she told me not to call her anymore on the city bus I walked right by her like i never knew her she was looking right at me a week later she messages me testing the waters they hate it when u forget about them I know she got fired at her job now she works at the lumber yard i always go to for winter projects but I made up my mind Im not going to let her controll me any more she is doing that if i have to go out of my way to not see her I know my worth I know what she is about and if I stay away then thats what they want
I purposely took my very cute female cousin to the bar where attending was my narc girlfriend and her new supply (a "friend" of mine"). He was playing in the band there. My cous and I danced for 2 sets and I saw my ex narc having no fun at all over in the corner with a sad face then angry face (which flipped back n forth) the whole time. I made sure she didn't notice me glancing out of the corner of my eye. She went out on the dance floor once with her girlfriend and pretended to have fun dancing all the while I was having fun. My cous n I left laughing and giggling. My ex narc was shocked, thinking my cous was my new girlfriend, it was so funny, she deserved it.
Saw my ex narc bf at a party I just ignored him. He kept staring at me. When I would not acknowledge him he went in the kitchen & got drunk. He came back to where I was sitting down and I was having a coversation with a group of people and he continued staring at me until he had enough and he left the party.
Jess, how about running into a narcissist…with your Chevy? Perhaps invite a guest speaker sayyyy, law enforcement to help educate us who are NOT narcissistic on how we could defend such a heinous charge or allegation of manslaughter to a more appropriate charge towards the narcissist for sayyyyy failure to maintain operation or failure to use signal or hazard lights failure to warn others of what’s about to come.😂
My narc lives in the same condo complex as me. I can't move out as I own my house. He is renting. So this situation is difficult. I try to do the best I can. Any help would be appreciated.
It's impossible to get full closure in so many instances as quite often it is a person you've been married to for many years and have children with who in themselves are a trigger or reminder, so stop trying. I think the best thing to do is remember that you came into this life alone and you will leave it alone so don't be so co-dependent on other's to fill your life up with, regardless of who they are. Find peace and learn to be alone for this is something the Narc can never do. Learn to love and enjoy your own company & worthy people will enter your life from time to time regardless & if not, so be it. Peace As far as running into them: the best thing to do is completely ignore their existence and move along and make sure you put yourself around other people who can act as witness's in case they attempt to make false claims against you which is really the concern with these types of psychopath's. Last but not least, if you carry a cell phone, immediately upon seeing them, hit the record button and leave it running until you are out of their presence. I suggest you familiarize yourself with this feature so you can do so without their knowledge & quickly.
I ran into my ex around the corner of my apartment building He love bombed me. I didn't know it at the time. I really believed him. He naturally was taking it too far too fast. He walked me to my door and it was over like that
He and I. Totally different schedules. I never saw him before we dated. I dont care if I see him at this point. BUT. I won't talk to him, i will go the other way and ignore him. The only way I would see is if he purposely did it.
Saw the narc and his new supply out at a bar months after our very messy break and weeks of being stalked. I kept my distance from them, then as they were leaving the bar, they went out of their way to physically assault me. I filed a police report but nothing came of it. I rarely go out now because I’m afraid of being attacked again, which sucks. I’m trans/ queer so there aren’t a lot of options of spaces to go, but it is what it is. My peace is more important.
Jesse, I don't know you so pardon me using your first name like I do, but this is a good video because I like how you say being proactive and avoiding certain places. This is not what some including myself would call "VICTIM SHAMING," but like you're pretty much suggesting, be proactive! Good directions on how to do so. It's just a matter of if I can follow it or not? It shouldn't be a question! There IS no romance between a former friend of mine that I'm here for to get away from. Yet he is apparently taking the side of an ex-GF behind my back (WHILE PRETENDING TO BE AGAINST HER AT THE SAME TIME AS IF THAT'S WHAT I WANTED TO HEAR). Toxic ex friend who talks shit about people HUGE TIME. Can't take it anymore!
When they know you’ve called them out and know who they truly are……it’s absolutely Priceless……..they don’t know where to Run and Hide to…….it’s Actually Hilarious……I just called out my Uncle (ex Vietnam Vet, War decorated blah, blah, blah) mofo is full of Sh@t…….and He knows it…….Hilarious……that’s all I can say…….actually……Pathetic is Really what I want to say (ooops)
how i deal with it i was happy we were off and on for 2 years each time it got longer apart as far as closer we give our self closer I stated dating agine told her that when she messaged me told her it wasnt who she thought it be a lady friend we still are friends i was with my last girlfreind for 15 years she died 6 years ago nothing can hurt more as far as blocking no dont do that I never did when she the last time she messaged me she did it under a new account she thought i did that shows u r mad thats what she wants emotion I told her i never blocked her nor was she on my phone i delited her phone number im 63 next month 64 i get tons of smiles from women now I have a new friend ment her when i was cutting thr the railroad depot her train was going to be 6 hours late I seen she was board i sat talked to her made her laugh gave her my number told her if she gets this way agine call me she gave me hers i texted her to make sure she got home ok from then on we talk often im 200 miles away she said come up sometime she will bake a cake and dinner she pushes for me to come up now she is close to my age we laugh alot on the phone I feel good she dont give me any vibs
she is an actrice, ahaha i cant avoid seeing her in a sitcom or a movie or sth happening in the theatre world, its all over the media, fuck@ ahaha what to do? im a writer, i cant ahaha remove myself from the scene, thu i have a completely different view on this world. im a marxist and leftist. she is conservative and right winger. yes, she always has someone else, on socmedia. i cant see her in reality we live far away ahaha but again, she is in the media. well, thats what is called a public figure. i will publish the book so whatever she does afterwards i don care, she will sue me for the damn book but i don care. the book is more important. there was no closure, just gaslighting
The hardest part was having to go to our kids events at the beginning - who am i kidding lol it never got easier. I saw mine just did a video for dads custody rights … lying through his teeth and he’s alienated our daughters 3 hrs now… it feels like the blood runs through my feet and hands. It makes me naesceous- instant fight or flight mode. It’s hard to see someone you know is so evil - I just can’t. I moved states lol
When I see him in public I act like he’s not there. I walk right passed him like he doesn’t exist.
Indifference is narssisist kryptonite 👍 👌 💛
Same here & it feels great!
Same. And the look on his face is oriceless
@@asaltweapon1741 it sure is but then the eyes turn black...pure evil.
@@suzanneadamson1306 Eyes truly are the window to the soul. No matter how much you may not want to accept it? There is a spiritual component to all this as well.
They are soulless, unempathic, unsympathetic, unfeeling demons. Almost as if, possessed at times by pure evil and malicious intent.
No contact for almost three years.
One time I thought I saw her in passing.
I was walking home.
Car is coming past me, I happen to look up.
Man driving, and woman is glowering at me from passenger side.
It’s her.
It’s random, I didn’t expect to see her and the car isn’t one I’ve seen her in.
It’s been 9 months since I left.
She saw me first before I noticed her in the car.
She is trying to stare me down.
I’m indifferent.
I look back, making sure it is her and also, I’m not going to buckle or show any form of negative reaction: fear, loathing, hatred, or any emotion of any kind.
I’m stone cold.
She balks. And tries to look the victim and looks to the man driving, trying to draw attention. His focus is on the road, he isn’t looking. I don’t get a vibe off him, he looks like he doesn’t want to know.
The car passes me by, I go home, daddy cool.
Her usual, Reactive Abuse, didn’t work this time.
I felt nothing.
Her initial hostility, then looking doubtful then trying to play the victim, I’ve seen it all before.
I went no contact for a reason, and she made it easier with her serious accusations and also with her severe gaslighting and manipulation.
That was two years ago I last saw her.
I’ve not seen her in person.
I think that’s a blessing every day.
I hope I don’t ever see her again, in this life or the next. Ever again.
I’ve nothing I want to say to her.
There’s nothing worth saying to someone like her.
I’m good and I cut that cancer out to live.
I made my closure on her years ago.
Good on you!
I’m in the process of moving out and going no contact from the male version.
He initiated the discard, but I’m leaning into it.
Let him be somebody else’s nightmare.
Like Jess says, it just may be that you CAN'T avoid them...which is why you NEVER date a neighbor - especially a neighbor in the same building - and NEVER, EVER, EVER date a coworker. Ever.
Shouldn't be a problem if you are a sailor.
🎯🎯🎯
Yes, never!
Omg I finished it with my adjoining neighbour house.
He is a neighbor down the road from me!
"You don't find healing where you got hurt". Thank you, Jess!
That is a awesome thing
I love that saying I wrote that down and I'm going to stick it on my mirror something so I can look at that everyday thank you Jess
Great saying!
That's a great line. I'll take that thank you.
Don't ignore them, yet don't go out of your way, if you have to face them just keep moving and say you're in a hurry...show zero emotions, not fear, anger...nothing...poker face makes them feel they don't exist to you anymore
Yeah, I like this one! I've heard so many stories from both sides that I agree with of how to deal with this or versions of both sides, but this is the one that's the most authentic me
Ignore them. Play like their not there. Not worried about the new supply. He gave up the best thing thats ever happened to him.
God, if I have to cross paths with my ex, let me be drop dead gorgeous. Amen 😂
Yasssss hennyyyyy ,you better werkkkkk
It was 6 months...I did nothing but self reflect and consume vulnerable narc information (thanks to Jess). I saw her in the store, a warm and comfortable feeling came over me like a was completely protected with a thick armor of knowledge and self respect. I smiled and nodded. The look on her face glared hate and surprise, but her eyes were pain and sadness. 3 hours later I received an email after zero contact for 6 months. It said “I’m glad you’re over me but I’m not over you, don’t ever do that again!” I promise you it is way more uncomfortable for them, truly they can’t stand to see you alive and “happy”.
Yeah but do you believe her comment? She was lying and trying to hook you in. Never trust a narc!
It alone, they will ask you why you haven't contacted them... Remember they sat back waiting for you to beg even though you had moved forward... Best answer to that is "because I don't want to and never will want to contact you, it is over"...
Couldn't possibly be bothered. 🤣🤣🤣🤷🏾♀️ I've worked so hard on myself. I'm lightyears ahead of where he dumped and ditched me. It hurt at first, but after a while, I realized his departure was such a blessing. 💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾 Onward, forward!
I've seen them yesterday walking down the road and had a bit of a chuckle deep in my soul . Totally surprised myself by not feeling sad or even remotely missing what we had , because we had nothing. The marriage was never real ,I see her for who she is and always was ( massive fake 😄)
AWESOME!
Fake love and real hate. 💔
Great place to be in :)
I wanna be in this place how long did it take it’s been a month for me
@@craigy691All depends on how much you were entangled, but usually after months you can see them and then you'll just keep it moving
They are sickening. There is ALWAYS other supply, ALWAYS.
Always.
My closure came from realizing I had nothing left to say to him. I had no desire for any discussion whatsoever.
They made me feel like such a piece of sh!t I'm just glad to be out of the life of someone I (supposedly) made so burdened, annoyed, was beneath her, and unhappy. When I saw that my ex got remarried it was a HUGE relief. I felt like finally someone else is at fault for her unhappiness. Not me. If I ever saw her I would probably feel the same sense of failure but I would know it stopped. That hole wasn't being dug deeper.
She passed me by in the car and laughed out loud. Classy of her.
I knew there was another person when he began to tell me, I am a lone wolf, I don't have relationships! I got a lot of clarity by his words and actions.
Saw mine whilst out shopping and she panicked and wouldn't come in the supermarket.
Mind you. I had called them out publicly on been a covert narcissist and had discovered that they had accessed and been reading through my medical records at the hospital where she works.
May have had something to do with why she ran!!
That’s a HIPPA violation and is grounds for termination.
@@lucymarbles59
In the UK so a bit different on laws, but yeah I wasn't impressed.
It's been months since I found out and no explanation or apology, no real surprise there.
I only found out because a friend highlighted me really been off after break up and was concerned.
Spoke to them and explained I was trying to get out of this trauma bond hell. They clicked what was going on and suggested I checked who had looked at my records.
As regards sacking and all the rest of it, that ain't my dept and I'm not vindictive. So staying out of all that lot.
Always seems to happen to me when I think I might be turning a corner. I didn't even see 'her', just spotted her car driving in the opposite direction coming out of the supermarket. That was enough to stir up all sorts of stuff I haven't felt for a long time. I guess it will slowly sink back down to the bottom again, until the next time we pass. I feel so sad as much as anything else. I should be feeling angry but I just feel sad.
When my husband and I were looking for a house a few years ago, it was between this one and one that was not far from where my sister lives. The odds of my seeing her at church were really high, if I didn't want to drive to a different neighborhood. My husband was really against the idea, and since I had already gone no contact, he insisted that we buy this one, which was OK with me. A few months later, a tornado blew through the neighborhood where the other house was located, destroying many of the buildings in sight. I guess we made the right decision!
She ignored me. I looked her straight in the eyes, smiling and laughing, and ignored her too. It was fabulous 😍
Treating like the invisible person is the best way. Difficult when your still not clear on what happened yet sense it. I don't like being with someone that hides things and lies to me. I accepted that fact to give myself closure. I stopped expecting accountability from him and focused on the fact I would never have stayed with someone that treated me like that regardless. I don't want that lifestyle
Kirby again. I was hit by her a few months ago. I let it go now she beat me real good over conversation of old boyfriend. She beat the crap out of me subsequently arrested. So now I really need it. Restraing order has kept her no contact thus far. Thank you again.
Found my narcissist on the bus in my country when we still had to wear masks on public transport I was right beside her as we were getting our tickets I was wearing a mask so she didn't recognize me but it just felt awkward for me but I didn't say anything to her she just went to the upper deck of the bus
Thank you for this!! Just in the right time! Trying to holt no contact. He lives across the street, I see him mostly almost every day 😬
Powerful message Jess! You are probably right, even after three years I am still hanging on a little bit and it’s time to completely cut the cord and move on. Really appreciate your message and a heartfelt thank you for what you do!
He lives next door and sits on the front with these woman flaunting I've got no way in to mine but to walk past them hurts deeply every day I'm in a dark place atm the moment thank you for all your AMAZING video's 🙏🙏🙏💜💗💖💔💕💕💕🥰
Get a can of fart spray and give him a dusting every time you have to walk by.
Janie you deserve to be in a better place and never let this person make you feel like this they're not worth it. Take Care and Stay Strong
Sorry this is happening.🥲 Stay strong.
Almost the same situation as mine. I just wish he could drop dead before I do.
Keep the Poker face and walk right past. You got this!❤
I haven’t seen the ex-narcissist I reckon he’s avoiding all the places he knows that I go to as he’s afraid of what I might do or say to him in public, he’s always been a coward and whenever I raised my voice in public he would plead with me to lower my voice or talk about it in a private place-and of course, I never did just told him what I needed to say and he’d redden in embarrassment; he’s afraid of any sort of confrontation.
they never want to do private places only the hood neighborhood
I intentionally ran into my narc and I did this in a public setting and she confronted me and said I was stalking her I reminded her that this was a public place and I will go whenever I want to and with whom I want to go with i told her unlike you who drives past my house repeatedly I also reminded her that I was not the one arrested for menacing and stalking and consequently found guilty in a court of law and also mentioned who her lawyer was this went over like a fart in church. I do not recommend this approach however afterwards i felt more in control and it gave me a sense of empowerment instead of feeling like I was caught off guard as i knew i would eventually run into her a some point .
There is an old saying...
"Never s**t on your own doorstep "
Unfortunately I took one right on my own.... my ex lives directly opposite 🤦🏾♂️...
I have only run into ex once in several years. I don’t go anywhere he may possibly be. Totally ignored him. Acted like I didn’t recognize him.
I run into my ex he was shocked to see me and the hatred in his eyes, they went jet black even though he has blue eyes. I just ignored him and turned away. I was actually fine with it I must admit, I even surprised myself, now I know I’m healing 😌
I found closure within myself.
…my biggest fear. Thank God I haven’t yet, that I know of. Although for my healing I’ve been avoiding wine festivals and all places I’ll know she’ll be. And my friends have verified her presence at these places with different men. I cannot handle that right now. Just need to focus on me.
Pray for this guy that i don't see that thing because it's gonna be ALL BAD
Omg Jess this video is so exactly what I'm going through right now, I have to get over him it's been 4 years going through same shit but each hoover it gets worse & he makes me more wanting to hurt him make him pay for wrecking my live, I need to talk to some one plz!!
It's awkward, to say the least because we are socially programmed to greet those we know, particularly, if it's been a great amount of time since the last time interaction. It's an automatic reflex that the brain is hardwired to do. It takes retraining the mind alter itself
My biggest fear is running into my ex narc....I would just have to walk away..
For me, closure was the vile and repugnant, repulsive ways he treated me less than a human being allowed to exist.
That was enough closure for me.
I know not everyone can do this.
I still had to go through years of betrayal counseling and grief counseling.
DBT therapy for all the gas lighting and coercion that had happened to me.
But I never needed him to say he was sorry or somehow think he was going to listen to me n be nice.
His actions alone was the closure I needed.
If this can help anyone, please remember how badly they treated you, ...
Especially at the end, during divorce, asset division, or child custody.
If you think they're monsters during the marriage, they are demonic minions of Satan himself through the divorce process. I am lucky to be alive.
You are all lucky to be alive. You all deserve better.
And the closure is that they will never be loved or respected or cared for or supported by you ever again. Let them watch your beautiful ass walking away.
Let Ur life with ur dreams happiness n success w healthy relationships be ur closure.
Hugs y'all.
Very well presented....definitely inspirational, well done Jess 👏
You are Brilliant Jess.
If the narc says anything to me
I' will say FUC# OFF straight up... no fluffing around with that narc...end of story 😅
+Jess Stanley Praise the LORD.....closure = acceptance.......cannot change how we feel, but can control how we react.......i absolutely love your witty and brilliant quotes, Jess Stanley. God bless. Agape love
I should’ve watched this when it was uploaded…I just experienced this. I was at the bus stop and he pulled up on me…😮I was in shock…my nerves were wrecked and I didn’t know what to do. He told me to get in and he gave me a ride and then some. He took me where I needed to go and then on an errand to get his sister…it was irritating because I did the no contact and then this happened!! It wasn’t even a bad ride..but I’m still going back to the no contact strategy. I have to. I gotta protect myself.
Another fantastic video Jess. I saw the narc I was dealing with for the first time in almost 2 years and either she saw me and looked away or else she didn’t saw me at all but I sure as hell did see her 🥴
I ran into my narc at an IKEA, and it was interesting to say the least. I was looking at cribs for my newly arriving nephew, and she strolled in with her daughter. No ring, no man, no new supply, but I already knew that didn't mean anything.
We locked eyes for a moment, and she had that "oh shit" look on her face. I already decided that there was not a chance in her that I would approach her, especially after how ruthless the discard was. She looked disheveled, frumpy, and put on a pile of weight. I grabbed my item and put it on the cart and proceeded through the stupid maze toward the cashier.
I was almost at the cashier and guess who starts pushing her cart towards me down the same aisle. Not Santa Claus, but you know who. I thought this would be interesting because I wasn't going to budge for shit. We had locked eyes, so I knew she saw me. She got to about 10 feet from me and then ducked down a side aisle in a rush. I just rolled my eyes and shook my head, not knowing what to make of that. I just didn't give a shit at that point.
As I drove home, I thought that her future looked bleak. A studio apartment with 50 cats, what an aroma that will be.
You are helping me so so much I thank God for you ❤
They just seem to not understand Beauty come from inside that's all they show is they rotten inside they're just grotesque you have to pray for him but you don't have to deal with them that I refuse to do
Before technology all you had was your natural abilities to act or react in the close range of this/these person/people.
I was being myself and not putting thought into it as i was accepting there is a different dynamic in the relationship and i have to still be myself and adjust accordingly.
With technology I still have to be myself around them but it confirms the flipside of the relationship was not genuine and I am not anyone special to the narc and acceptance again is what I have to have in order to be myself moving forward
I plan about what ima do all the time, and I still have no idea lol.
6 weeks no contact. I thought I saw her the other day at a boat ramp and it wasn't her but it was a almost identical looking woman. The woman who went out of her way to tell me I was a leader and how much she loved me only later to become the woman who tried to feed me rotten meat. And I still miss her. There is definitely something wrong with that. Empaths are going to have to start accepting responsibility for our own toxicity as we are rarely attracted to each other and are always attracted to narcissists.
This is my biggest fear and why I haven't been out for 7 months. I am too scared of what I might do.
Thanks, again, Jess, for this good sound advice!! See you Friday! Happy Tuesday! 💥
I encountered my ex narc a month ago. I knew I would see him at some point, since he lives in my dads area. He is a man of routine, so after a motorbike ride he goes the same way home. One day, I left the corner store on that ride home, and ended up behind him. I was going to my friends who lives close to my dad. I did not want him to see where I was going, so I drove to my dad's. He passes my dad's on his way home. We drove up to stop signs and right behind him, and I knew he saw me. I pulled into my dad's, and that was that. Or, so I thought. Of course the next day, I saw he called but he's blocked, and have my voicemail full, so he cannot leave awful messages. He tried to call again, the day after that. I'm sure ,with no response from me made him crazy😵💫. I bet he thinks I am following him.
All I know is, it feels great to be no contact, and even better he has no idea where I live. Living NARC FREE✌❤
Great video. And wow, Jess's new photo looks beautiful!
I did run into mine 5 mounths after she told me not to call her anymore on the city bus I walked right by her like i never knew her she was looking right at me a week later she messages me testing the waters they hate it when u forget about them I know she got fired at her job now she works at the lumber yard i always go to for winter projects but I made up my mind Im not going to let her controll me any more she is doing that if i have to go out of my way to not see her I know my worth I know what she is about and if I stay away then thats what they want
Thankyou so much Jess, you're message is just what I needed to hear atm.
Best wishes to you from Saint Hubert's Island, Australia 😘
Your great at this thank you. Kirby
Thank you too!
Really great listen. Thankyou 🙏
I purposely took my very cute female cousin to the bar where attending was my narc girlfriend and her new supply (a "friend" of mine"). He was playing in the band there. My cous and I danced for 2 sets and I saw my ex narc having no fun at all over in the corner with a sad face then angry face (which flipped back n forth) the whole time. I made sure she didn't notice me glancing out of the corner of my eye. She went out on the dance floor once with her girlfriend and pretended to have fun dancing all the while I was having fun. My cous n I left laughing and giggling. My ex narc was shocked, thinking my cous was my new girlfriend, it was so funny, she deserved it.
The restraining order should keep her away. If not I keep holy water close by 😉
Oh wow we are live!
Saw my ex narc bf at a party I just ignored him. He kept staring at me. When I would not acknowledge him he went in the kitchen & got drunk. He came back to where I was sitting down and I was having a coversation with a group of people and he continued staring at me until he had enough and he left the party.
IF I see him with her, I know I was the someone else. He is her crazy now!
Wonderful🙏
Jess, how about running into a narcissist…with your Chevy? Perhaps invite a guest speaker sayyyy, law enforcement to help educate us who are NOT narcissistic on how we could defend such a heinous charge or allegation of manslaughter to a more appropriate charge towards the narcissist for sayyyyy failure to maintain operation or failure to use signal or hazard lights failure to warn others of what’s about to come.😂
My narc lives in the same condo complex as me. I can't move out as I own my house. He is renting. So this situation is difficult. I try to do the best I can. Any help would be appreciated.
It's impossible to get full closure in so many instances as quite often it is a person you've been married to for many years and have children with who in themselves are a trigger or reminder, so stop trying. I think the best thing to do is remember that you came into this life alone and you will leave it alone so don't be so co-dependent on other's to fill your life up with, regardless of who they are. Find peace and learn to be alone for this is something the Narc can never do. Learn to love and enjoy your own company & worthy people will enter your life from time to time regardless & if not, so be it. Peace As far as running into them: the best thing to do is completely ignore their existence and move along and make sure you put yourself around other people who can act as witness's in case they attempt to make false claims against you which is really the concern with these types of psychopath's. Last but not least, if you carry a cell phone, immediately upon seeing them, hit the record button and leave it running until you are out of their presence. I suggest you familiarize yourself with this feature so you can do so without their knowledge & quickly.
I turn my back and don't let my X or neighbour see my front they see my back instead LoL 🤣
Facts! Love that!
Thanks Jessy. Love you.
Markus with a k checking in
7:37 to 8:05 🎯
I ran into my ex around the corner of my apartment building He love bombed me. I didn't know it at the time. I really believed him. He naturally was taking it too far too fast. He walked me to my door and it was over like that
Apparently he was talking to hear himself talk 🗣
He and I. Totally different schedules. I never saw him before we dated. I dont care if I see him at this point. BUT. I won't talk to him, i will go the other way and ignore him. The only way I would see is if he purposely did it.
When the Narcissist Runs into you...With Their Car
Run Adrian run …. 🏃🏽♀️…. 🏎💨….
Out of No means
Saw the narc and his new supply out at a bar months after our very messy break and weeks of being stalked. I kept my distance from them, then as they were leaving the bar, they went out of their way to physically assault me. I filed a police report but nothing came of it. I rarely go out now because I’m afraid of being attacked again, which sucks. I’m trans/ queer so there aren’t a lot of options of spaces to go, but it is what it is. My peace is more important.
Cops are always so lovely, understanding and helpful.
They are not the big bad wolf
Jesse, I don't know you so pardon me using your first name like I do, but this is a good video because I like how you say being proactive and avoiding certain places.
This is not what some including myself would call "VICTIM SHAMING," but like you're pretty much suggesting, be proactive! Good directions on how to do so. It's just a matter of if I can follow it or not? It shouldn't be a question!
There IS no romance between a former friend of mine that I'm here for to get away from. Yet he is apparently taking the side of an ex-GF behind my back (WHILE PRETENDING TO BE AGAINST HER AT THE SAME TIME AS IF THAT'S WHAT I WANTED TO HEAR).
Toxic ex friend who talks shit about people HUGE TIME. Can't take it anymore!
When they know you’ve called them out and know who they truly are……it’s absolutely Priceless……..they don’t know where to Run and Hide to…….it’s Actually Hilarious……I just called out my Uncle (ex Vietnam Vet, War decorated blah, blah, blah) mofo is full of Sh@t…….and He knows it…….Hilarious……that’s all I can say…….actually……Pathetic is Really what I want to say (ooops)
I think he’s moved on. Why does this bother me? I want to NOT give a shit. I’ve been no contact for almost 10 months.
Where is your link about rumination. I can’t seem to find it in the description
how long does it take to heal a broken heart?
My plan is to act like he’s a stranger just like any other Joe blow on the streets.
So when you found out that he was cheating on you did you start doing it back to him???
how i deal with it i was happy we were off and on for 2 years each time it got longer apart as far as closer we give our self closer I stated dating agine told her that when she messaged me told her it wasnt who she thought it be a lady friend we still are friends i was with my last girlfreind for 15 years she died 6 years ago nothing can hurt more as far as blocking no dont do that I never did when she the last time she messaged me she did it under a new account she thought i did that shows u r mad thats what she wants emotion I told her i never blocked her nor was she on my phone i delited her phone number im 63 next month 64 i get tons of smiles from women now I have a new friend ment her when i was cutting thr the railroad depot her train was going to be 6 hours late I seen she was board i sat talked to her made her laugh gave her my number told her if she gets this way agine call me she gave me hers i texted her to make sure she got home ok from then on we talk often im 200 miles away she said come up sometime she will bake a cake and dinner she pushes for me to come up now she is close to my age we laugh alot on the phone I feel good she dont give me any vibs
Dang...😉
Wtf, If you see them you see them
she is an actrice, ahaha i cant avoid seeing her in a sitcom or a movie or sth happening in the theatre world, its all over the media, fuck@ ahaha what to do? im a writer, i cant ahaha remove myself from the scene, thu i have a completely different view on this world. im a marxist and leftist. she is conservative and right winger.
yes, she always has someone else, on socmedia. i cant see her in reality we live far away ahaha but again, she is in the media. well, thats what is called a public figure. i will publish the book so whatever she does afterwards i don care, she will sue me for the damn book but i don care. the book is more important. there was no closure, just gaslighting
Tell us
The hardest part was having to go to our kids events at the beginning - who am i kidding lol it never got easier.
I saw mine just did a video for dads custody rights … lying through his teeth and he’s alienated our daughters 3 hrs now… it feels like the blood runs through my feet and hands. It makes me naesceous- instant fight or flight mode.
It’s hard to see someone you know is so evil - I just can’t. I moved states lol