But their love bombing gets better, like any skill, they get better at pretending to be who they aren’t. But nobody can pretend forever. So the mask will always fall in due time.
This video explains everything perfectly! The only change that is possible with a narcissist is for the worse. The new supply is going to be treated way worse than I was.
You’re so right (as usual!)Jess. How can we forget what they did to us? Better to leave in the past and find someone that doesn’t lie, future fake, gaslight, abuse, cheat, accuse, disrespect, blameshift etc. find someone physically and MENTALLY 💪💪💪HEALTHY!
Helen, we will NEVER forget. We do get over the loving them & missing them, but we won't forget them. They're cruel, Devils, which do NOT belong amongst us BEAUTIFUL EMPATHS...TIME IS OUR HEALER! MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU. 🎅♥️♥️
I facilitated a wonderful life for him for 18 years, he never changed to a good guy for long, lasted a few weeks then back to the craziness, he got worse and worse! He will never be any different, good luck to the next victim 😊
I know what You ment. I was 12 years with a covert narc and I left him twice and abrupt. The Final and last time I left him was for 2 years ago and I say: NO MOORE TIME with that person again. NO WAY!
You are absolutely correct they do not change not EVER! I was married to him for 14 years … I had good days here and there and I had a few glimpses of what I thought would be wonderful & possibly could last forever . I would then have the carpet ripped from right under me… and here we go again with the horrific behaviors…felt like I had my butt kicked by 🌺Muhammad Ali💕, I was no match for what I was going through & to top it off, I didn’t even know what to call it… I just knew it was weird. I’ve been 1 year out and it’s taken some time to get use to but I’d rather be by myself and be okay and in peace than to be with someone who was mean, unkind , & most brutal to me … I’m blessed to have escaped in one piece body, soul and spirit intact!!!! I wish you the very best as well 💕💕🌺💕💕
Joann, I spent 20yrs being married to a narcissist. She never changed and the last 3 yrs I refused to be an enabler she finally had enough told me she was miserable and wanted out. I asked her didn't she want to try again for the sake of our children but we both need to commit 100% to changing otherwise we will come back to the same place. I offered this multiple times thinking maybe she finally hit her end but each time she replied no she was done. So I am letting her go. I have God's peace my heart breaks for my children. But I will trust Jesus through it all. Blessings for your recovery
Love this video, Jess. Ex-narc trying to get me back just for sex while he goes on dates and pays for them when he rarely paid for me when we went out as a 'serious' couple. I think it is disgusting that they give the bare minimum but expect everything in return. So glad to be over him emotionally and physically now. Let them be someone else's problem. We don't need that garbage in our lives.
I am just happy, I was able to get out!! They will never change!! Glad when he found another, so he can leave me alone. He promised to take trips, but he just took me for a ride into hell and back. He lied about everything. He always flirted and tried to make me jealous!! He just pissed me off!
dont be too mad at yourself. I just realized my current experience wasn't my first. My first experience with one was 2 decades ago. I was being gas lighted then before people really called it gaslighting. And they are two different types of narcissists and not even the gregarious kinds.
Excellent Clarice…fortunately I have already arrived at this realization…but I went through the emotional meat grinder like everyone does…the narc was NEVER who we thought they were anyway…
They only change for each new supply or change depending on who they're with to get what they need or want. It amazes me how they can flip personalities tbefore your eyes to accommodate but their manipulative strategies and end result never changes
Lol we are mad because we were deceived, i wouldnt be mad or confused if i saw what and who they were from the begining. Being blind sighted, betrayed and used up...thats why im mad lol..sigh...sobs!
I agree with you 100%! I'm also angry because I have to deal with her for at least another 10 years until my daughter turns 18. What also makes me angry is the fact that she falsely put a protective order against me and made accusations of some really bad stuff that never even fucking happened! This really did it for me and made me realize how sick she really is. And she acts like she is on top of the world.. I really think she is the Antichrist.... yes I'm happy that I don't have to deal with the shit that I've been dealing with for 11 and 1/2 years but I agree with you, and it's really hard because I'm so angry. I'm sick of feeling like shit and I just want to feel better...
You are not used up just hurt. Me too. For me it’s dropping the anger and interest in sharp toothed vengeance. I have become more Christian with this and have to pray on it daily
Nobody likes to be duped!!!! Nobody That said, I’m soooo glad I’m out x6 yrs (and happy content peaceful blessed …) Wishing the same for anyone in this nightmare 💙 Life gets much much much better once you heal and are far far away 🙏💕
So very true Jess and that's why they don't ever, ever, ever want you to see them change towards the new supply in appearance (keep you in the dark) which comes with a new story of lies. All they have behind them are victims and its never a person they really helped, in the end.
This is some real truth! I found myself thinking that way, why is he doing that for the other supply. YOU just helped me see that I am lucky that I'm not going through the insane cycle.
My ex has changed…… he’s got worse if that was even possible. No idea about his supplies he keeps them hidden from where my friends might be, probably too scared they will let the supplies know what he is like. I say supplies because he has to have numerous ones, just one was never enough for him 🤦♀️
Absolutely: The damage is already done to me by the covert narc and all those 12 years with him. I left him twice times and abrupt in that period - and the second and Final time was for 2 years ago. No Moore and No Way that I take this person back. NEVER EVER AGAIN! I'm FREE and HAPPY and in LOVE of LIFE again after all those horrific years and I don't gonna let him to destroy neither that feeling or my life anymore
I got him free concert tickets, did the steak dinner on Friday, next day he was like sorry. I have a girlfriend. Dude I knew, you lied to me 4 months ago.
This is so true it's been 3 years I looked at their media and there it was The trip I was promised with someone else. Social media is a trap Don't watch it I left a huge narc injury because I rejected the hoover and called the narc out I feel sorry for the new person But I know better to get involved I even saw them hoover the supply That was in the picture before me
What I'm upset about is the idea that he will treat her better because she's better than me & I just didn't deserve to be treated well by him. It's a blow to my self-esteem.
We are dealing with someone who is incapable of seeing other people as human beings! They see all humans, other than themselves, as objects! The discard is just like we would discard an object! They look for others, just like we look for other objects that appeal to us! Remember, when you discarded a smart phone that you used to love for a better, smart phone? It's absolutely no different for them with people. So when other people discard them first, it's like their beloved object has been lost. They would do anything to have you back, but still, you're an object!
I know. I disgarded him twice and abrupt. First after 10 years and I was singel for 4 years - of course he didn't was singel he has never been that. Then after 4 years he duped and manipulated me back (when he called me that his mother died in covid) so we where together 2 years more. But the same time I was educating me in narcissism and I left him abrupt again - that ws the Final disgard from me to him and that was 2 years ago. I'll tell You for now: Never EVER go back to those toxic people cause they will not change to the better. They'll change is only to getting more evil and worse ... But as I wrote - I left him again and this time for good If I has been hooverd? Yes he has tried a lot but I have NC ever since 😅
I get called with an “unknown” numbers. He is still on dating apps. He “accidentally” sending delivery from Amazon to my work. What a loser! I have moved on. New supply can have him. I’m pretty sure her blinders will come off if it hasn’t. Go no contact on narcissist, new supply and flying monkeys. Byyyyeeeeee
You are getting my attention. I understand what you are sharing. Thank you, I have been so lost in his life, I lost myself, and when I disconnected he feels it and comes back with full force , hovering for days until I answer the door. Driving me crazy
My ex convinced me that it was my fault that he was abusive. He called me a psycho and an idiot who does stupid things just to annoy him. It took everything I had to stop believing that, though sometimes I really do wonder if he abuses his wife like he did me... It pains me that these people get to live without any consequences, while their victims struggle with trauma for the rest of their lives😡
It's been 8 months since the Discard. He is with his new supply. I still want him back. In spite of all the horrible things he did to me. I know he will be the last man I ever have a relationship with. I really am struggling to get over him. No matter what I do. I clearly think so lowly of myself, that him trying to strangle me was nothing.
He does not exist. It was all an act. He presented to you different persona and character. That person you love and want back never existed. He made you feel thay way of yourself. You need to process things and it takes time. Im 10 months NC after discard and I have made huge progress by that time. Im not where I want to be though, but its all about small steps everyday. Listen videos on a daily basis, more you listen and repeat, process, the better it gets to some point. There was a time that it was the only thing I did.
The discard is the pinnacle of the abuse. The discard was planned and orchestrated to make you feel this way but I guarantee you are stronger than he thought. It’s been a year for me. I still ruminate and I still want to “destroy”him for 26 years of devaluing, invalidating and everything else. But I no longer feel devastated or feel like crying. I also cut out anyone who knew us both and still support him after his brutally cruel behavior. You got this! It may feel impossible now but it does get better. You deserve to love and be loved. F him!
Is it normal to get upset watching a narcissists new supply or relationship last longer than you expected, like lasting longer than how it was with you? You don't want them to be in what appears to be in a good relationship or marriage, even though there is a good chance there's abuse behind the scenes that they are hiding? And that the narcissist is likely putting on a show on how happy they are. But I know people like me shouldn't care anymore.
The key is they don't LOVE or CARE about anyone. Their next relationships is NOT better then it was with you. They may last longer if the victim will take more abuse. In reality the narc always follows the same patterns. They see everyone they are in relationships with as appliances, which they own. They can be used, abused, set aside and picked back up again whenever they want because they feel they own you, like an appliance. When you don't work the way they think you should then they should then they put you on the shelf for awhile to bring you back into working order.
Dj, the supply could be very needy, and have Attachment Hunger. They attach themselves to anyone no matter how they are treated. The narc CONTROLS them. You're better off!
It's all a act same bs just a different person don't be mad be glad,if you're mad because your not getting shit on you better really think things out,same toxic fckn games just different people,be glad it's not you and just move forward with your life 👍 Jess thanks for the video and happy Sunday everyone, BTW happy birthday 🎂🎉🎈🦋
Yeah. My ex would tell me because of you " I know boundaries " I was like what ? Then admitted to testing and saying. Test them to deal with the drama ? I was like what ??? That's when i saw how manipulative she is . Glad I saw her for who she is . I agree, they change , but keep there toxic patterns. They mirror what we like , she did that to me .....
Thanks for this video. Totally resonates with my experience. Sadly. It’s tough. My EX NARC has been with his partner for 3+ years. And I see them as my ex intentionally moved within sight of my home 🙄☹️. She moved in later and I run into them way too often. My young child reports things and it sounds like love bombing phase has cycled back. Whenever my friends or myself spot here she seems upset. Usually when they’re together they look mad and distant but not lately. Things seem weird. It’s hard to shake. If not for my child I’d not be interested or care. It’s hard due that all to be happening in my backyard. Please people- tell me…. Leopards don’t change their spots. To be a fly on their wall. There’s no way he’s not abusive to her too?!
My narc ex gf did a lot of these things, the person who was moping while I was getting lovebombed was her husband (she’s still legally married as far as I know). I remember wondering in late 2020/early 2021 where my sweet girl was that I met at the beginning of 2019. I didn’t demand or command anything from her, and I probably should have. I was hidden on social media. No hoovering……yet. I’ve been no contact with her for 10 weeks after spending a few months trying to be reasonable and be friends with her until I found out she was in a new relationship (it occurred to me Christmas Day 2022) and continuously denied it and lied about seeing him. The clues were laid out for me in a group chat in October or November. It was a long distance relationship, but still, the new supply is long distance too.
Wow!! You feel entitled to being abused!! This is why survivors need therapy to figure this out so it doesn't happen again. But, it easier said than done to get out of those faulty thought patterns. Thank you, I loved this video.
Yeah I keep hoping my depressed ex would turn it around and treat me better. He disappeared one day to focus on his shit and just moved on to someone else. I was an idiot though and vented by email and crap. He was just like sorry I made mistakes and whatever. You are right though why would I give a person another chance. He did so much damage. Even claimed at one point he never was in love with me and used language carefully to try not to lead me on apparently. Bullshit.
+Jess Stanley Praise the LORD amen, Jess Stanley. narcissists do change. narcissists get worse. narcissists sometimes get sophisticatedly worse, but get worse nonetheless. God bless. Agape love❤
Who gives a flyin nun whether he changes for the new supply , not my business , just as long as I’m not with him… good bye and good riddance to bad rubbish!
The person we end up having no choice, but to leave (to save ourself)…we would have NEVER even dated once, much less…entered into a long-term relationship with. And clearly, they know this. Otherwise, they wouldn’t have to bother with the fake persona during the love-bombing stage. They wear the persona of whoever they NEED to be, in the moment, to get whatever their vampire requirements are that day. But very few ever see them with their masks dropped. Nothing attractive there.
Hi Jess! Well, this was fun today! I tried to send you a super chat but I couldn't figure it out or it didn't work, whatever! Next time I hope to do it right! Anyway I know you have a birthday coming up and this is a birthday wish from one Scorpio to another Scorpio! Happy birthday, Jess! 🕊🎂🕊 Thank you so much for everything you have helped me with over the past years....I hope you have a wonderful year for yourself....💞
She is not better she is just NEXT. I’m mildly curious to find out if it is the ex wife - how insane does she have to be to go back for round 3 and think that things will be different!
My narc ex grew up wearing chucks and flannels now she wears bell bottom jeans and boots 🤣🤣. Her “new supply” is a country dude I guess. She also planned on me stopping by to drop money off for my daughter and she made sure I showed up when he was there. Would not answer my phone call until after I left. It’s been well over a year since I fount out about her cheating for 7 years with this guy off and on and she still refuses to answer my phone calls while he’s around. Even when my daughter is there and I want to talk to her she will refuse to answer. I exposed her via screenshots to him about all her lying so I’m assuming it’s because he’s insecure but who knows. 2 years in a row I’ve spent alone on Christmas. Literally got to see my daughter for 30 mins today.. my narc ex does this on purpose. It’s been over a year since I caught her and she still acts like the day when I caught her. She does everything I wanted her to do for him it seems. We will pull through this!
I hate how phony they are. My ex cheated too which I found out after the fact. Now she dresses just like her husband who is rich. It’s so transparent and pathetic. Once her looks and sex appeal finally started to wane she found an old retired man, started to act like a prim and proper old lady it’s nauseating. The first time she dated anyone that wasn’t younger and a musician in her entire life was this guy. At 50.
I m not worried about narcissist changing is what is I v move on from person God will sort it out in the long run after experience that that kind pain with a narcissist that gave me whole preceptive on love with women it doesn't matter what color she is that is permanently closed because the narcissist changes that is not change what she done me period and she knows she can't comeback period....
They take the future fakes and will do it with the new supply. To me it shows their lack of inspiration of romance. He took what I wanted and is doing it with her. Yawn.
Yeah , my ex pushed for marriage since I wanted a family. Then she had a guy dm her then tell me she wad talking crap , I told her if she didn't, then blocked him. I forgave her and acted as if she took me back which was a lie . So glad im over her
"Yes they do change. They get worse and worse and worse ' 💯💯💯
🎯🎯🎯
Exactly
But their love bombing gets better, like any skill, they get better at pretending to be who they aren’t. But nobody can pretend forever. So the mask will always fall in due time.
@@SonjaParis sometimes not so much, they’re so drained they only do what’s necessary. Just “enough” so to speak.
They get worse with age. The more you demand respect, the faster they discard you and treat you like shit.
This video explains everything perfectly! The only change that is possible with a narcissist is for the worse. The new supply is going to be treated way worse than I was.
We’re upset because they cheated us, wasted our time, energy, care, love.
Yes, I don't want him back at all. What I'm dealing with is the scars he left me from treating me like garbage
You’re so right (as usual!)Jess. How can we forget what they did to us? Better to leave in the past and find someone that doesn’t lie, future fake, gaslight, abuse, cheat, accuse, disrespect, blameshift etc. find someone physically and MENTALLY 💪💪💪HEALTHY!
That's right and the only way to live and love Your self and the life again
Helen, we will NEVER forget. We do get over the loving them & missing them, but we won't forget them. They're cruel, Devils, which do NOT belong amongst us BEAUTIFUL EMPATHS...TIME IS OUR HEALER! MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU. 🎅♥️♥️
@@jannlewandowski5540 thank you for you’re kind words. Merry Christmas to you too🙏🙏
You are 100% correct. THEY CHANGE FOR THE WORSE!!!
I facilitated a wonderful life for him for 18 years, he never changed to a good guy for long, lasted a few weeks then back to the craziness, he got worse and worse! He will never be any different, good luck to the next victim 😊
I know what You ment. I was 12 years with a covert narc and I left him twice and abrupt. The Final and last time I left him was for 2 years ago and I say: NO MOORE TIME with that person again. NO WAY!
You are absolutely correct they do not change not EVER! I was married to him for 14 years … I had good days here and there and I had a few glimpses of what I thought would be wonderful & possibly could last forever . I would then have the carpet ripped from right under me… and here we go again with the horrific behaviors…felt like I had my butt kicked by 🌺Muhammad Ali💕, I was no match for what I was going through & to top it off, I didn’t even know what to call it… I just knew it was weird. I’ve been 1 year out and it’s taken some time to get use to but I’d rather be by myself and be okay and in peace than to be with someone who was mean, unkind , & most brutal to me … I’m blessed to have escaped in one piece body, soul and spirit intact!!!!
I wish you the very best as well 💕💕🌺💕💕
Joann, I spent 20yrs being married to a narcissist. She never changed and the last 3 yrs I refused to be an enabler she finally had enough told me she was miserable and wanted out. I asked her didn't she want to try again for the sake of our children but we both need to commit 100% to changing otherwise we will come back to the same place. I offered this multiple times thinking maybe she finally hit her end but each time she replied no she was done. So I am letting her go. I have God's peace my heart breaks for my children. But I will trust Jesus through it all. Blessings for your recovery
Exactly 💯 💯 💯
The new supply did me a favor !!!!! 😊
Me too!!!!! He's in a world where he is the wronged one
Well said, we don’t want that shit anyway!!! Perspective is everything
🎯🎯🎯
Nobody is perfect enough for his great royal majesty...
Love this video, Jess. Ex-narc trying to get me back just for sex while he goes on dates and pays for them when he rarely paid for me when we went out as a 'serious' couple. I think it is disgusting that they give the bare minimum but expect everything in return. So glad to be over him emotionally and physically now. Let them be someone else's problem. We don't need that garbage in our lives.
Screw the new supply. Im just upset that i fell for the love bombing. Even after years of studying narcs.
I am just happy, I was able to get out!! They will never change!! Glad when he found another, so he can leave me alone. He promised to take trips, but he just took me for a ride into hell and back. He lied about everything. He always flirted and tried to make me jealous!! He just pissed me off!
@@lucypalsgrove9210 Bless You that You are FREE from him - Take care and NEVER EVER GO BACK
dont be too mad at yourself. I just realized my current experience wasn't my first. My first experience with one was 2 decades ago. I was being gas lighted then before people really called it gaslighting. And they are two different types of narcissists and not even the gregarious kinds.
Excellent Clarice…fortunately I have already arrived at this realization…but I went through the emotional meat grinder like everyone does…the narc was NEVER who we thought they were anyway…
They only change for each new supply or change depending on who they're with to get what they need or want. It amazes me how they can flip personalities tbefore your eyes to accommodate but their manipulative strategies and end result never changes
Lol we are mad because we were deceived, i wouldnt be mad or confused if i saw what and who they were from the begining. Being blind sighted, betrayed and used up...thats why im mad lol..sigh...sobs!
I agree with you 100%! I'm also angry because I have to deal with her for at least another 10 years until my daughter turns 18. What also makes me angry is the fact that she falsely put a protective order against me and made accusations of some really bad stuff that never even fucking happened! This really did it for me and made me realize how sick she really is. And she acts like she is on top of the world.. I really think she is the Antichrist.... yes I'm happy that I don't have to deal with the shit that I've been dealing with for 11 and 1/2 years but I agree with you, and it's really hard because I'm so angry. I'm sick of feeling like shit and I just want to feel better...
You are not used up just hurt. Me too. For me it’s dropping the anger and interest in sharp toothed vengeance. I have become more Christian with this and have to pray on it daily
This could not have came at a better time than now! I needed to hear that. Thank you Jess!
Nobody likes to be duped!!!!
Nobody
That said, I’m soooo glad I’m out x6 yrs (and happy content peaceful blessed …)
Wishing the same for anyone in this nightmare 💙
Life gets much much much better once you heal and are far far away 🙏💕
Great comment 😚
I enjoyed the straight talk immensely. It it even made me smile. Thank you.
So very true Jess and that's why they don't ever, ever, ever want you to see them change towards the new supply in appearance (keep you in the dark) which comes with a new story of lies. All they have behind them are victims and its never a person they really helped, in the end.
Wow!!!! I was just thinking about the fact of what actually was done to me? Did it really hurt me that much? Now that I have healed, the answer is NO.
I never thought about it in that way. 🤔
This is some real truth! I found myself thinking that way, why is he doing that for the other supply. YOU just helped me see that I am lucky that I'm not going through the insane cycle.
I love your voice btw and the f bombs. I throw them out a lot also.
Wonderfully said, Jess!
The damage was already done! No taking that shit back!
I know, but it's great to listen to this over again. Thank you!!
One of this channel's best messages here!! 👏👏👏.
THANK YOUUUUUU. I SAY THE SAME.. ITS LACK IF SELF ESTEEM THAT MADE WOMEN ACT LIKE THAT. EVERY ONE GETS LOVE BOMBED. LOL 😆 🤣
My ex has changed…… he’s got worse if that was even possible. No idea about his supplies he keeps them hidden from where my friends might be, probably too scared they will let the supplies know what he is like. I say supplies because he has to have numerous ones, just one was never enough for him 🤦♀️
Get like you were talking directly to me! Your videos help me so much!! You will never know.
YES MY EXHUSBAND AND MY EXBOYFRIEND CHANGED FOR THEIR NEW SUPPLY!!!! IM SO MAD AT MYSELF!!!
I don’t want to do it again. He gave me stds over the years. You all don’t know how horrible it is. And he will never change.I’m garbage.
Absolutely: The damage is already done to me by the covert narc and all those 12 years with him.
I left him twice times and abrupt in that period - and the second and Final time was for 2 years ago.
No Moore and No Way that I take this person back. NEVER EVER AGAIN!
I'm FREE and HAPPY and in LOVE of LIFE again after all those horrific years and I don't gonna let him to destroy neither that feeling or my life anymore
I got him free concert tickets, did the steak dinner on Friday, next day he was like sorry. I have a girlfriend. Dude I knew, you lied to me 4 months ago.
This is so true it's been 3 years
I looked at their media and there it was
The trip I was promised with someone else.
Social media is a trap
Don't watch it
I left a huge narc injury because
I rejected the hoover and called the narc out
I feel sorry for the new person
But I know better to get involved
I even saw them hoover the supply
That was in the picture before me
What I'm upset about is the idea that he will treat her better because she's better than me & I just didn't deserve to be treated well by him. It's a blow to my self-esteem.
Golden to Garbage,,,,,,,,,, perfectly said Jess!
I’m mad they’re not getting theirs 😡
We are dealing with someone who is incapable of seeing other people as human beings! They see all humans, other than themselves, as objects! The discard is just like we would discard an object! They look for others, just like we look for other objects that appeal to us! Remember, when you discarded a smart phone that you used to love for a better, smart phone? It's absolutely no different for them with people. So when other people discard them first, it's like their beloved object has been lost. They would do anything to have you back, but still, you're an object!
I know. I disgarded him twice and abrupt. First after 10 years and I was singel for 4 years - of course he didn't was singel he has never been that. Then after 4 years he duped and manipulated me back (when he called me that his mother died in covid) so we where together 2 years more. But the same time I was educating me in narcissism and I left him abrupt again - that ws the Final disgard from me to him and that was 2 years ago.
I'll tell You for now: Never EVER go back to those toxic people cause they will not change to the better. They'll change is only to getting more evil and worse ...
But as I wrote - I left him again and this time for good
If I has been hooverd? Yes he has tried a lot but I have NC ever since 😅
I get called with an “unknown” numbers. He is still on dating apps. He “accidentally” sending delivery from Amazon to my work. What a loser! I have moved on.
New supply can have him. I’m pretty sure her blinders will come off if it hasn’t.
Go no contact on narcissist, new supply and flying monkeys. Byyyyeeeeee
THANK YOU FOR THIS..NECESSARY TO HEAR THIS WISDOM..A TRUE HOME RUN
My husband discarded me and went back to his family, they are all sick in the mind
Mike did the same exact thing did you divorce?
Mine moved me out to his pack of Narcs family land and then started the physical abuse. Yep
These people never change to them changing means giving in to losing they can’t lose they have to win all the time it’s an obsession!
You are getting my attention. I understand what you are sharing. Thank you, I have been so lost in his life, I lost myself, and when I disconnected he feels it and comes back with full force , hovering for days until I answer the door. Driving me crazy
Good video Jess. So true 👍
My ex convinced me that it was my fault that he was abusive. He called me a psycho and an idiot who does stupid things just to annoy him. It took everything I had to stop believing that, though sometimes I really do wonder if he abuses his wife like he did me... It pains me that these people get to live without any consequences, while their victims struggle with trauma for the rest of their lives😡
I agree but I do believe in karma it's only a matter of time. Could take years but it's coming.
They always get consequences for bad behavior (like most of us) however you just don’t know about it. 🧐
Yassssssss that’s right. I’m feeling this one!!!! Jess❤
It's been 8 months since the Discard. He is with his new supply. I still want him back. In spite of all the horrible things he did to me. I know he will be the last man I ever have a relationship with.
I really am struggling to get over him. No matter what I do.
I clearly think so lowly of myself, that him trying to strangle me was nothing.
He does not exist. It was all an act. He presented to you different persona and character. That person you love and want back never existed. He made you feel thay way of yourself. You need to process things and it takes time.
Im 10 months NC after discard and I have made huge progress by that time.
Im not where I want to be though, but its all about small steps everyday. Listen videos on a daily basis, more you listen and repeat, process, the better it gets to some point. There was a time that it was the only thing I did.
The discard is the pinnacle of the abuse. The discard was planned and orchestrated to make you feel this way but I guarantee you are stronger than he thought. It’s been a year for me. I still ruminate and I still want to “destroy”him for 26 years of devaluing, invalidating and everything else. But I no longer feel devastated or feel like crying. I also cut out anyone who knew us both and still support him after his brutally cruel behavior. You got this! It may feel impossible now but it does get better. You deserve to love and be loved. F him!
you were trauma bonded like me,,,it will pass with time,,,,you are not alone,,,stay strong,,,focus on yourself and stay no contact
Is it normal to get upset watching a narcissists new supply or relationship last longer than you expected, like lasting longer than how it was with you? You don't want them to be in what appears to be in a good relationship or marriage, even though there is a good chance there's abuse behind the scenes that they are hiding? And that the narcissist is likely putting on a show on how happy they are. But I know people like me shouldn't care anymore.
The key is they don't LOVE or CARE about anyone. Their next relationships is NOT better then it was with you. They may last longer if the victim will take more abuse. In reality the narc always follows the same patterns. They see everyone they are in relationships with as appliances, which they own. They can be used, abused, set aside and picked back up again whenever they want because they feel they own you, like an appliance. When you don't work the way they think you should then they should then they put you on the shelf for awhile to bring you back into working order.
Dj, the supply could be very needy, and have Attachment Hunger. They attach themselves to anyone no matter how they are treated. The narc CONTROLS them. You're better off!
Length does not equal happy or healthy. AT all. They are still the exact same monster
I love your sense of reality. Funny. Laughter does good like a medicine.
It's all a act same bs just a different person don't be mad be glad,if you're mad because your not getting shit on you better really think things out,same toxic fckn games just different people,be glad it's not you and just move forward with your life 👍 Jess thanks for the video and happy Sunday everyone, BTW happy birthday 🎂🎉🎈🦋
Yeah. My ex would tell me because of you " I know boundaries " I was like what ? Then admitted to testing and saying. Test them to deal with the drama ? I was like what ??? That's when i saw how manipulative she is . Glad I saw her for who she is . I agree, they change , but keep there toxic patterns.
They mirror what we like , she did that to me .....
Thanks for this video. Totally resonates with my experience. Sadly.
It’s tough. My EX NARC has been with his partner for 3+ years. And I see them as my ex intentionally moved within sight of my home 🙄☹️. She moved in later and I run into them way too often. My young child reports things and it sounds like love bombing phase has cycled back. Whenever my friends or myself spot here she seems upset. Usually when they’re together they look mad and distant but not lately. Things seem weird. It’s hard to shake. If not for my child I’d not be interested or care. It’s hard due that all to be happening in my backyard. Please people- tell me…. Leopards don’t change their spots. To be a fly on their wall. There’s no way he’s not abusive to her too?!
My narc ex gf did a lot of these things, the person who was moping while I was getting lovebombed was her husband (she’s still legally married as far as I know). I remember wondering in late 2020/early 2021 where my sweet girl was that I met at the beginning of 2019. I didn’t demand or command anything from her, and I probably should have. I was hidden on social media. No hoovering……yet. I’ve been no contact with her for 10 weeks after spending a few months trying to be reasonable and be friends with her until I found out she was in a new relationship (it occurred to me Christmas Day 2022) and continuously denied it and lied about seeing him. The clues were laid out for me in a group chat in October or November. It was a long distance relationship, but still, the new supply is long distance too.
I’m back because I love this video because it helps me so much. Thank you!
Thank for your realness
Wow!! You feel entitled to being abused!! This is why survivors need therapy to figure this out so it doesn't happen again. But, it easier said than done to get out of those faulty thought patterns. Thank you, I loved this video.
Definitely not mad, lol. I have peace.
Well, almost, hes not done trying to destroy me because I don't want him anymore
Hopefully soon though.
Wow. This. is. what. i. needed. to. hear.
Yeah I keep hoping my depressed ex would turn it around and treat me better. He disappeared one day to focus on his shit and just moved on to someone else. I was an idiot though and vented by email and crap. He was just like sorry I made mistakes and whatever. You are right though why would
I give a person another chance. He did so much damage. Even claimed at one point he never was in love with me and used language carefully to try not to lead me on apparently. Bullshit.
Thank you so much 👏🏾👏🏾
We don't have a relationship, she's nuts I don't went it I'll pass definitely gonna pass on being friends
+Jess Stanley Praise the LORD amen, Jess Stanley. narcissists do change. narcissists get worse. narcissists sometimes get sophisticatedly worse, but get worse nonetheless. God bless. Agape love❤
Well Jess, that is that’s on repeat! Thank You so much.
'Shitty Little Media Post'. That's a good one. Reality at its best.
Oh..I love the word.."Nafarious"!
Lol..let him give whatever..to whoever..just get outta My Life!...Crazy towne!
They have already burned there bridges.
Who gives a flyin nun whether he changes for the new supply , not my business , just as long as I’m not with him… good bye and good riddance to bad rubbish!
Great video Jess 👏👏👏
They had a thought it must have been aweful lonesome.
Well damn you put my ass in check thank you 😂
Absolutely 😮
They don't change, they can't . It's all a game to keep on abusing the Ex and also they need to act as if they did everything for someone.
The person we end up having no choice, but to leave (to save ourself)…we would have NEVER even dated once, much less…entered into a long-term relationship with. And clearly, they know this. Otherwise, they wouldn’t have to bother with the fake persona during the love-bombing stage. They wear the persona of whoever they NEED to be, in the moment, to get whatever their vampire requirements are that day. But very few ever see them with their masks dropped. Nothing attractive there.
We come to realize this individual is someone who we should NEVER have had a conversation with.
Hi Jess! Well, this was fun today! I tried to send you a super chat but I couldn't figure it out or it didn't work, whatever! Next time I hope to do it right! Anyway I know you have a birthday coming up and this is a birthday wish from one Scorpio to another Scorpio! Happy birthday, Jess! 🕊🎂🕊 Thank you so much for everything you have helped me with over the past years....I hope you have a wonderful year for yourself....💞
She is not better she is just NEXT. I’m mildly curious to find out if it is the ex wife - how insane does she have to be to go back for round 3 and think that things will be different!
I wish i saw this video 2 1/2yrs ago tho...
omg ur the literal best
Golden to garbage is right
My narc ex grew up wearing chucks and flannels now she wears bell bottom jeans and boots 🤣🤣. Her “new supply” is a country dude I guess. She also planned on me stopping by to drop money off for my daughter and she made sure I showed up when he was there. Would not answer my phone call until after I left. It’s been well over a year since I fount out about her cheating for 7 years with this guy off and on and she still refuses to answer my phone calls while he’s around. Even when my daughter is there and I want to talk to her she will refuse to answer. I exposed her via screenshots to him about all her lying so I’m assuming it’s because he’s insecure but who knows. 2 years in a row I’ve spent alone on Christmas. Literally got to see my daughter for 30 mins today.. my narc ex does this on purpose. It’s been over a year since I caught her and she still acts like the day when I caught her. She does everything I wanted her to do for him it seems. We will pull through this!
I hate how phony they are. My ex cheated too which I found out after the fact. Now she dresses just like her husband who is rich. It’s so transparent and pathetic. Once her looks and sex appeal finally started to wane she found an old retired man, started to act like a prim and proper old lady it’s nauseating. The first time she dated anyone that wasn’t younger and a musician in her entire life was this guy. At 50.
Damn Jess, if you know my life... Just say that! Lol not a lie told
I m not worried about narcissist changing is what is I v move on from person God will sort it out in the long run after experience that that kind pain with a narcissist that gave me whole preceptive on love with women it doesn't matter what color she is that is permanently closed because the narcissist changes that is not change what she done me period and she knows she can't comeback period....
In a dream!!😮
Because they know you watching
Hit home ❤️🙏
Fact
Misery love company
They take the future fakes and will do it with the new supply. To me it shows their lack of inspiration of romance. He took what I wanted and is doing it with her. Yawn.
No way totally insaine😮
Yeah , my ex pushed for marriage since I wanted a family.
Then she had a guy dm her then tell me she wad talking crap , I told her if she didn't, then blocked him. I forgave her and acted as if she took me back which was a lie . So glad im over her
PREACH GIRL.....I LOVE IT