Sorry about the jarring switch to loud R&B music for the dance battle. We got copyright claimed for the original song and this is the best we can do with TH-cam's editor. Next time we'll pick sweet royalty free music beforehand. Thanks for watching :-)
@@theradiantknight9771 1st and foremost : Values his own life far less than that off other people. Even before he became Cap and its also the reason he was chosen as a candidate for Super Soldier Serum (Grenade Test scene). Also shown by his signature tool : A friggin shield. He's the shield which protects everyone (not caring about religion, race or upbringing). 2. His general character is built on the basic values of an "honest man" archetype. Values honesty, loyalty, hard work, commitment, passion, love and peace. 3. He's a guy who does not want to lead. He's always chosen by someone to take the mantle of leader. 4. Always improving his skills on any level. Fury teaches him strategy for example, because he chose him to lead the Avengers. 5. Not hiding his failures, moreso honestly takes them as reasons to give up his position as a leader, because he does not think he would follow himself until the failure is fixed. Basically the poster image of a romanticized knight in shining armour.
Is this really a revelation though? I get that it's phrased poetically but is it not common sense that when you know who you are and are comfortable and happy with who you are that you tend to develop genuine confidence in yourself and people's opinions tend not to matter by then?
When my brain knows I'm in an awkward situation it will do everything in its power to make sure I don't forget it. It's as if there's a little CD player up there that's only got one track. As soon as the confidence breaks it hits the play button. "You're awkward. You're a mess. You're a failure. You're awkward. You're a mess. You're a failure. Everyone's judging you. Never go out in public again." (Replay). In reality, most people don't even notice our anxieties, and if they do they usually couldn't care less 🤷♀️ One day I will conquer my brain.
You have at first to fake, and then when you'll get use to faking it, you won't even need to fake it anymore, you'll be different. Your brain will have been trained.
#1:Adjust your body Language a.Use the 3 second rule eye contact (unless your talking to one person) b. Show your palm most of the time when speaking (reveal and you'll be more confident/trustworthy) c.Commitment #2.Handle Friendly Teasing a.Take Up More Space b.Laugh With The Group c.Double Down On The Joke #3: Tell Your Own Embarrassing Stories a. Activate The Confident Body Language b.Choose High Impact Words (e.g- "Amazing Trip"," Which I think was the best summer of my life!",That was maybe the most stressful day of my life." ) c.Embody The Characters In Your Story #4: Let go of managing people’s opinion of you a.If You Ever Feel Awkward,Ask Yourself,"What perception am i fighting right now?" And then relax.Because this is just a perception of you :') I'm just taking notes,but you're very welcome! :))
Video summary for you speed demons out there: Adjust your body language by: - 3 second eye contact with everyone in the room, this makes everyone feel acknowledged and you capture their attention - Use your hands to express and gesture (don’t hide your palms) - own your movement, embrace awkward situations, don’t close up Have fun with friendly teasing - laugh with the group (don’t always retort with a witty comment) - Double down on a joke aimed at you (this spreads the laughter in a friendly way) Tell your own embarrassing stories (this shows confidence) - Use high impact words (Keeps your audience engaged) - Act out the story vocally and physically (Again, keeps everyone engaged) Let go of managing people’s opinions of you - it’s freeing. (Was multitasking while watching this so do pardon me if I missed anything or wrote it in a hard to understand way)
@@dd9639 that fact that you even tried is a good start. At first most of us feel the same way, continue to get more exposure until that feeling slowly dissipates and watch your confidence grow. But I need to emphasize the EXPOSURE, talk to at least one person every day! Even if it's a cashier for a few seconds and just continue to add on a little time over the days and weeks
Recap : 1. The rule of the 3s : maintain eye contact for 3 seconds 2. Show your palms ( it apparently retains people’s attention when you talk ) 3. Move, gesticulate while you’re speaking ( move hands ... ) 4. Commit to what you express ( for example : when you tell a story, do imitations etc ... ) 5. Fully embrace awkwardness : don’t show the embarrassment if you’re disconcerted, go further : for example, if a friend is teasing you, double down the joke, tell your own embarrassing story, etc ... 6. Use words with packed emotions, you can use somehow hyperboles while you’re telling a story for example ... It can be words like : amazing, best, ... to describe little things 7. Have fun with the group, laugh at the jokes ... 8. And the last one ( finally lol ) and the most important : do not pay attention to what people think, it’s worthless, be yourself a 100%
I now realized why white people always used to boast behind their money and its because of insecurities due to the lack of not knowing how to be human!! Black people we have always been winning without money we just got tricked through the white man knowledge
Michael Olawoye you don’t have to have something specific to talk about, people talk about anything and everything. talk about memories, hobbies, something that interests you, something you bought. talk about something significant that happened in your day, talk about the things that are happening around you. even talk about problems. it doesn’t have to be complicated :] you never run out of things to talk about!
@@lynnieebeaniee yea that's good and all, but I have a problem with keeping the topics fluent. I could talk about the best part of my day, but once it's stated, where do I go after that. That's where I struggle most, and I'm sure many more feel the same. You seem to know what you are talking about, plz halp. I deal with this every day in school.
Just wanted to say, for someone like me who's autistic with mental health issues, these videos are really helpful, thank you for making them, just watching these makes me feel like I'm understanding social situation better, I look forward to seeing how I do after lock-down from these.
Because of the you word. It's a blaming word by nature recomindation by me try to watch it again. But replace that word, in the head with I or me enstead. That is an adiea by nature the words judgemental. As well as very very disorientating and addictive. Takes a strong mind to listen to big ideas. And especially comprehend think slow aka be patient and especially being very active and writting ideas and thoughts out or talking to others about them. I hope that was helpful to someone here.
Well, you know, Tom does it naturally. Its just the way he is. He was raised that way by intelligent, cultured and sociable people. He comes from a very good family. In an interview he said that his parents made the children had to tell stories at dinner. And I assume they, parents, told the stories too and his father is stand up comedian. Can you imagine how lucky this guy is? And besides, when he was a little boy, his parents always made him talk with other adults, their friends etc., to look in the eyes and talk. He said, therefore he had no problem working with adults. And he has been working since early childhood.
Of course, Tom being comedian's son probably has an innate comic and presentation talent in him. Plus the observation his parents' behavior, plus the propper upbringing, plus a lot of experience. I repeat, he works in the industry - performs on stage, gives interviews, communicates with a variety of people from childhood. But still that is very good analysis, thank you. Many of us can use this advises, i guess. They are quite available. I think, the main thing is not to be too strict and demanding to yourself. Be kinder to yourself. But move constantly step by step, little by little and never lose hope.
steampunk hulk video should be named "how does a future multi millionaire who already experienced massive success at a young age manage to act playfully awkward"
My fave quote ever goes something like this: "if you can't control something why are you worried/stressed about it? If you can control something why are you worried/stressed about it?" -- whenever I think this I feel a lot more calm and confident. Imagine you are stressed talking and its awkward -- there's nothing you can do anyways. Then your body will naturally relax itself a bit when you realize you are locked in anyways and you will actually be more confident in the moment. This has helped me before exams, interviews, dates, etc..
I love how I’m watching these videos like I am alien in disguise trying to assimilate into human society. Edit: this is my first top comment ever, and i must admit i feel nothing. I definitely am an alien.
BlankCanvas88 he's like an alien trying to act like a human, at least an alien would learn eventually how to act convincingly as a human whereas Zuckerberg, well...
This is a good point. I used to always make awkward situations more awkward, and that didn't help my relationship with friends at all. Sometimes you just got to read the room and not go through with whatever you're thinking.
@@WesleyWhiteside that just shows lack of confidence. The only reason why you'd make an awkward situation more awkward is to show other people that it doesn't faze you and that they don't have to be faze by it either. And more often then not, you can break the awkwardness by putting other people at ease with your comfort around those situations.
Some girl: aww man, that joke made we want to kms Me: yes, I have wanted to kill myself too... HaHahA *shoves palms in her face and stares at her for three seconds* CHa cha real smooth
Hey man, I don't know if you are going to read this but if you happen to stumble upon this comment, just wanted to say your channel legitimately helped me go back to the confident outgoing guy that I once was. I went through a tough heartbreak that shook me to the point where for about 2 years I became very insecure and didn't take care of myself physically as well as mentally. Today I went out with a couple friends and a few strangers and for the first time in a long time I felt that I was the leader of that group of people. I felt super confident and really comfortable with myself which definitely put most of the attention on me whenever I spoke. So I'd like to genuinely thank you for these videos. Much love - a grateful subscriber
Friends teasing me in public Me: Laughs hysterically along them shows eye contact to everyone while shaking my head and showing my palms to everyone Did I do it right?
Tom Holland gave me sense of major inferiority complex 🤣 Bruh he's so fine af! Makes me feel out of his league but I admire him for that (I'm a woman just saying but still jelous of him 🙂)
1. Adjusting your body language (3 Second rule of eye contact) 2. Reveal your palms ( makes you seem more trustworthy) 3. Rendition (embrace awkwardness fully) 4. Take up more space 5. Laugh with the group 6. Double down on the joke 7. Tell your own embarrassing stories 8. Activate common body language tips( when you tell stories) 9. Choose high impact words 10. Embody the characters in your story (voice,accent, etc.) 11. Let go of managing people’s opinions of you 12. Just embrace the truth You’re welcome:)
I pray that this guy has everything he’s ever wanted in life because this is awesome! Wife, kids, wealth, happiness......he deserves it for teaching people things like this. I just want to say thank you.
1D8G 4ZPD They're tons of articles on websites and there's tons of youtube videos that talk about that. The main component to boring people , is their everyday scheduled lives. Same routine over and over again. You don't take risks. No passion and fire in your eyes because you never leave your comfort zone. No spontaneous adventures. Not only that, but if you're constantly on social media wasting your life scrolling, it does nothing good. Start reading books that enlighten you on certain topics. Watch documentaries. Learn a new skill. Develop a new hobby. Be unpredictable.
If you feel like you’re boring in a conversation an easy tactic is to ask people a lot of questions about themselves and act super interested. People love to talk about themselves, so you’re making them feel good but you don’t have to open up too much. Just work on remaining relaxed (turn towards them, nod, smile, etc) and listening well. This has helped me in situations where I don’t know what to say to someone, whether it be because I’m having an introverted day or the person just intimidates me. Another one is to remember that you’re not as boring as you might think you are. I talk to people about all kinds of random things. They might think I’m weird, but they definitely don’t think I’m boring. You’d be surprised what kind of random topics can fascinate people! Either way, be relaxed, confident, and open. If the conversation lulls, excuse yourself and don’t be hard on yourself because we’re all learning!
1. Adjust ur body language - 3-second rule of eye contact makes ppl feel included in whatever the heck ur talking about - show ur palms while talking 7:43 makes comments more intriguing to listen too avoids distrustfulness will come across more confidently and trustworthy - embody the ppl ur talking about too 8:47 - commit do whatever you are doing it's our fear of being judged or criticized that causes us to try to draw even less attention. But it is that limited fear that signals discomfort and creates an awkward experience for everyone by committing fully to something you don't want to do, a situation that could've gone terribly becomes one where ur confidence shines through 3:14 so if u do something goofy, whether its intentional or the opposite, ur best bet is to continue what ur doing and go all the way "by embracing awkward situations fully, you show more confidence when every single person on the sidelines" 2. Have fun w/ friendly teasing - take up more space ur being warm by even touching ur friends u show ur not afraid to take control on a physical level. these gestures signal to the group ur not someone who should be piled onto - laugh w/ the group u get to show that you can separate who u are from the part of u that is being teased the embarrassing things that u did in the past don't define who u r if u think about that it's easier to look at them with an element of humor This is what separates the people that consistently get teased from the ones the group gives up on. if u laugh with it, it mostly goes away but even more... - double down on the jokes if u try this, you'll realize it actually puts u back in control of the convo 5:41 Ur transforming a moment where ppl might have laughed at u, into one where ur showing ur good humor and confidence. Amplify the joke and spread the laughter 3. tell ur most embarrassing stories be so good at it that ur friends ask YOU to tell ur own story if u do this, it shows a supreme level of confidence since ur the one that comfortably and comically sharing what most ppl would consider a nightmare 6:52 4. use exaggerated versions of the truth 8:11 ppl need a reason to listen incorporate words that have emotion packed into them "amazing trip" "the best summer of my life" "the most stressful day of my life" 5. let go of imagining ppls opinions of u most of the awareness would just disappear remember: 99% of the awkward situations u will encounter in ur life are made worse bc ur fighting to be perceived in a certain way. relax. its only a perception ur deepest confidence is embracing the truth of who u r MINDSET makes it just flow naturally
Oscar Reyes there are plenty of people in the real world that use these things. He’s a world renowned actor because he knows how to act, not necessarily because he is confident. But don’t take that the wrong way; his confidence is the foundation of his acting
You must be fun at parties. I mean I'm not a world known actor I'm in a little theatre group lol, but I'm doing these unintentionally and it worked for me.
I finally realized that the narcissist abuse I went through growing up has hindered my sense of humor and chipped away from my confidence. I always thought people were making fun of me out of spite and good to know the difference after watching this video. Sincerely, thanks.
“If you have the right mindset, you don’t need the exact technique in every situation... if you just let go of managing people’s opinion, most of the awkwardness (and probably stress :) would disappear.”
If you have an underlying condition you need therapy/medication. If not, therapy is still good. That being, social skills, like any other skill, need to practiced and with time you'll get better.
@@Lol-wo6is Looking at this video, I see quite a few mistakes that I have made throughout my young life, and with the solutions offered in this video (Even though my overall goal may be at a distance), I can put them into play, and get the ball rolling (Personally, that's all I ever look for with watching any of Charisma on Demand's videos - To just show me how to get things started, and I will take it from there).
Tom Holland is Tom Holland and Im sure he is just acting out of instinct not because he is putting forth a 'technique' or 'skill'. He's just being himself.
He may be more inclined to be this way, but it doesn’t mean he’s not also making conscious choices. I was a homecoming candidate (as a nerd) in high school. We had to dance in front of the entire school (1,000 people) on the spot. I did NOT want to do it. All the other guys looked super terrible, stuff, and awkward. They were all better dancers than me too as the nerd who didn’t dance. Soooo I just decided to get super into it and was just totally ridiculous and the school just loved it. Same thing with a karaoke contest in college. I just did queen songs and was ridiculous as people loved it even though I actually was uncomfortable in my head. So I’m not inclined to be super extroverted and confident but I learned pretty early on to just act super confident and when a moment got awkward just roll with it and it turns out better
You can observe someone subconsciously doing things well and create a technique from their actions. Just because he's not consciously thinking about it doesn't mean there isn't a method to learn
It's a technique and skill that his personality already acquires. It's like some people have more empathy. It's a skill people could learn to use better but some people have more empathy just because it's part of their personality
In the meantime, it's worth pointing out that the BEST "deadpan" isn't actually deadpan... There's always a visible "cue" to the audience (whoever) that it's sarcastic... Among the best studies for this principle is "Fawlty Towers", a series by (and starring) John Cleese. He's an expert on the style... In Basil Fawlty, there's two parts to the humor to consider (just so you know going in)... 1. The "cue" to his deadpan style is "the blank stare", a pause during which you just KNOW that it's comedy... antics... However seriously "THE CHARACTER" means the line (or not), that's the point... it is still comedy. 2. The true fun isn't just watching Basil losing his mind every episode. It's about watching the other people AROUND Basil, who are bearing witness to Basil losing his mind every episode... What makes it a great study is the consistency, not just in fun... but in delivery. The jokes get varied, and the Characters introduced are relatively different. Even the precursors to disaster are different for the show, but the style is consistent, which makes it easier to functionally (independently) study so you can focus on the element(s) you want to learn most at the time... hope this helps. ;o)
I figured all of this out by myself. Although I never defined the specifics to myself, these are the exact actions I use in a group to communicate properly. Finding this video, and watching it, then realizing what it was felt a little odd. I think of awkwardness in a very specific way. It's a little hard to explain, but the key is to remember that embarrassment and awkwardness are things that are decided by you. If you don't want to feel awkward or embarrassed, you simply negate that feeling. Forcefully, or by easing yourself into it. It's not hard to find out these little tricks by yourself. After all, as long as you look for it, it'll be right there. Think of a way you want to communicate, and who you want to be. Then simply be that person, and be proud of it. Force that personality out and it will naturally merge itself with the conversation. Then everything after that is just you being you, without restraint.
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Something I learned from Tom during an interview was is response to how young he looks. I used to get so offend and back offish when someone pointed out how young I looked. During an interview Tom was told he look so young, and Tom responded with a thank you. I saw how mature that sounded and although he confined to look young the perception of him being young was left and was filled with a sense of maturity.
I was at a family gathering with a lot of people I didn’t know once, and this was when they decided to throw me a surprise party. I don’t like being the centre of attention and there were so many people there I never met so it was reeeeallyy awkward for me. Internally I was really embarrassed and shy and freaking out. Externally however, I played it off in stride, started laughing and smiling, clapped my hands to show enjoyment for their singing, walked around the room waving and thanking everyone. Honestly I don’t even know how I did it. Later, I asked my sister if I looked awkward since that was all I could remember feeling and she said I looked like a queen coming to greet the people. She said I looked so confident and sure. That observation never fails to make me surprised. I guess anyone can end up looking confident even if they don’t feel it.
You know, I kind of understand it looks like I am trying to ruine this party, but I think someone has to stop this obsession with confidence. I hate surprise parties, I hate speaking to people I did not choose to speak, and this is absolutely normal. I never pretend I like something I hate. This stop people from giving me these things. I manage any social situation, I like speaking in public, but I also realise that being adorable for everyone is not my friggin goal in life.
Minnie Mouse prompt other people to talk about themselves. maybe ask about how they felt in a certain situation maybe one that just happened or last nights storm. People love to talk about themselves (and it takes the weight off you as the conversation holder) Or look around the room and talk about something in the room. (Seriously anything. You see a faucet.. ask about water. Do they only drink RO? Do they notice different tastes? Have they ever turned on the faucet and it came out brown?) It’s all about just finding common ground. Hope that helps 🍀
I F Small talk sucks tho Us introverts like to talk about topic topics not the fucking weather for the 100th time of the day And small talk literals usually lasts around 10 seconds max And I know this because I work at a restaurant and my coworkers love talking and I’m just not so good at it yet But I am improving, just learning to be myself and its kindve working I’ve also recently figured out how to handle my awkwardness without watching the vid at all My technique is just to not be hard on your self but instead use positive affirmations and tricking the mind into thinking nothing is wrong and nothing bad happened so that I do not build anxiety when I talk again It’s a simple but very effective strategy because the mind lives off habits and if I keep doing this eventually I’ll just be social anxiety free And that will be awesome because I have been the quiet kid in the class for 90% of my classes for 5 years now
@Layla Izumi not really, you come off as shy or introverted and women and men find that "cute" because they get to break you in and see you when youre fully expressive. if youre ugly no one cares.
@Ayor a mm you dont know what you're talking about. i have nothing to make excuses for and im productive and i am very social. yet anxiety and adhd still overwhelm me, and i never used them as excuses. its just mental pain i deal with all by myself. so your point is?
@Ayor a some people out there cant control these things, do you think you're making things better? you're only gonna make them feel more guilt and lean towards never talking about their problems, and have them constantly struggle all by themselves. i personally dealt with such problems. nobody ever acknowledged my mental problems, so i just never talk about them again, never mention them, even when it was clear that its taking over, i never mentioned it and i took responsibility. no matter what i did, i always look up solutions, the struggle is always there, if i ignore it it gets worse, if i give it attention i feel more struggle, best i can do is warp my life to fit these struggles. there is nothing else i can do.
@@jannymatthew5378 Austin, excuse me but this is my sister that was killed by metra train. It this comment is very disrespectful. I don't know who you are or if you even know her but you need to take this down.
Hhhhha for me it isn't.. i just laugh and say "take 2" and we hand-shake again.. sometimes i even say "and now a cool handshake" and we act EXTRA weird and laugh it off. It's HOW u react when the handshake wasn't right.
Yep tried to give a handshake to a guy one time because I thought it would be a pretty standard thing to do but he didn’t follow through with the handshake so we just ended up holding hands... so awkward lol
Twan Willems Yeah every time something awkward happens I just say “Well that was awkward!” And we usually both laugh and then can move the conversation without an awkward pause
Learned a lot from watching this video intermittently over this past year. Honestly feel like I've gained some confidence just from watching it. I've had friends "tease" me, and rather than take offence, I joked back at my expense and laughed along with them; the jokes against me soon died. I've been sharing more and more eye contact in groups of people. And just the other week when I arrived at work, there were about 4/5 people that were happy to see me and they all proceeded to chant my name; usually I would curdle myself and shy away awkwardly not knowing what to do. Instead I dropped my bag and started dancing, hahah. Honestly can't believe what this video has done for me.
Your comment made me realise my 20 year old brother does this too and that’s why he is known for his comedy and being great at interacting with anyone. I’m 25 years old and have a lot to learn from my charismatic little bro
"Let go of managing other people's perceptions of you." *Runs a channel teaching people how to manage other's perceptions of them.* Love you bro, but you confuse me sometimes.
The point is not to force it. In several of his videos, he says to follow what feels most natural to you. Basically, it's enhancing the good qualities that are already there, not being someone you aren't.
I can imagine the "commitment" and "take up more space" points backfiring in so many spectacularly humiliating ways I'd rather just be awkward forever.
Thousands of years from now humans will look back on this and transmit telepathic vibes across the entire population mutually agreeing "we were such apes back then"
gen·u·ine if anything these videos will be even more needed in the future as people will get more closed in,these videos wouldn’t have been needed 50 years ago.plus as the population increases more people will need these videos.
jesse can you believe people speak different languages and you are not superior to anyone for correcting one Typo they made? who's the childish one here?
Thanks your channel I literally put myself in awkward situations every single day to practice. I go to places where I don't know anyone that don't matter much and try to converse with random strangers at every opportunity. It helps to practice thanks man this channel has helped me immensely.
(In my _very_ best 'TV game show' narrator voice...) You certainly build _something!_ LIKE.... your very own: _Personalized_ strains of various bloodborne pathogens! 😆😆😆
Alright, Tom is a rather unique case here.. Confidence + funny + good looking + energetic + positive vibes no one can beat that, even with 3 seconds rule lmao
0:30 he is very skilled at turning those more difficult moments around. 0:50 3 second rule of equally gaze. makes people feel included. 1:40 he shows his palms. shoes open and comfort. 2:40 more commitment: otherwise, it would show everyone feels uncomfortable. 3:40 by embracing awkward situations fully, you show more confidence than every person on the sidelines. this is when awkwardness is forced on you. for i.e. the friends are teasing you. 4:00 when you're a guy and your friends are gonna tease you and it's not out of malice. if you handle properly, then you can be a leader in the group. take up more space: fill or occupy a certain amount of volume, often specified through the use of modifiers. 4:40 pile on/onto (someone): 1. (of a group of people) to jump or climb on top of someone: 2. (of a group of people) to attack 被欺負的 4:50 a simply technique is to laugh with the group. 5:05 you can seperate from the aspect you being teased and who you are. because those things dont define who you are. and put you back in control of the conversation 6:00 show good humor and confidence. 6:40 tell your own embarrassing story. you are in charge of your own story. 9:30 99% of the awkwardness is going to be worse if you're going to fight back. 10:00 you are not perfect. there's always going to be place that other teases. that is in recognizing those less than perfect facts and liking yourself anyways. the true confident is generated! Social blunders are inadvertent violations of normative standards of behavior. Although blunders can be embarrassing and unpleasant, most people view them as relatively fleeting and inconsequential.
Timothée Chalamet is very awkward and shy, but he’s still very likeable. Could you perhaps do a video on why he remains popular despite his awkwardness? With kind regards, A fan
Sorry about the jarring switch to loud R&B music for the dance battle. We got copyright claimed for the original song and this is the best we can do with TH-cam's editor. Next time we'll pick sweet royalty free music beforehand. Thanks for watching :-)
Charisma on Command hi
Hey man would you consider making a video on what makes people want to follow Captain America? Not Chris Evans the actor but the actual character.
Charisma on Command You always give great advice! Big fan of your channel! I’m always looking forward to see them. 👍🏼
Charisma on Command: you are, hands down, my favorite TH-camr
@@theradiantknight9771
1st and foremost : Values his own life far less than that off other people. Even before he became Cap and its also the reason he was chosen as a candidate for Super Soldier Serum (Grenade Test scene).
Also shown by his signature tool : A friggin shield. He's the shield which protects everyone (not caring about religion, race or upbringing).
2. His general character is built on the basic values of an "honest man" archetype. Values honesty, loyalty, hard work, commitment, passion, love and peace.
3. He's a guy who does not want to lead. He's always chosen by someone to take the mantle of leader.
4. Always improving his skills on any level. Fury teaches him strategy for example, because he chose him to lead the Avengers.
5. Not hiding his failures, moreso honestly takes them as reasons to give up his position as a leader, because he does not think he would follow himself until the failure is fixed.
Basically the poster image of a romanticized knight in shining armour.
How To Turn Awkwardness Into Confidence?
1. Be spiderman.
2. 1.
cry more
Key Word, yell less.
I’m sorry, I was trying to do a thing. You know...Aaron Burr in the Hamilton musical says “talk less, smile more.” 😅
3. 2.
i laughed
I can’t wait to practice all of these habits and completely forget them when I’m in an awkward situation
I- yeah 😔
😂yeah
Why u describe me?
Well I'm- When- Kinda- yeah... 😣
Actually you f**this video 🙌👏
I love how we all came together to show we have no personality.
i feel attacked but sadly ure right ;___;
@@pogger4878 youre cute julia
@@abdihassan7208 thank u!!
@@pogger4878 alright im gonna follow you :)
What the f*ck is going on here?
I feel like an alien learning to be human watching these
True, true
Welcome to being socially awkward
I felt like a loser searching up for this 😭😭
lmfao
@@pls-gg3fy same
I have a feeling Tom doesnt even know that he is doing everything right, he just does it right
i mean i feel like he’s probably just learnt overtime what hits and what misses from experience
I liked your comment because of how I totally agree with you, and also your profile picture and name!
Liked because of the picture
he is lucky
Typical Tom
"Your deepest confidence is not based in controlling the perceptions of others, but embracing the truth of who you are"
This is amazing!
Emmanuel Díaz didn't expect such good advice
Truer words have never been spoken....
BARS!!!!!
Is this really a revelation though? I get that it's phrased poetically but is it not common sense that when you know who you are and are comfortable and happy with who you are that you tend to develop genuine confidence in yourself and people's opinions tend not to matter by then?
Literally read this as he was saying it.
This is the kinda video you watch late at night
Literally doing that now
@@Redbikemaster same
Lol yep- I'm watching it at 12:45AM
MENDO 2:11 am
1:38AM rn
Imagine being Tom, discovering that he has been analyzed this well
Tom: 👁👄👁
hi
@@NomTom hi Tom
@@roseover340 🧿👄🧿
@@NomTom 😂
Everyone add +1 Charisma on your character sheet.
sv_charisma_999
cl_noclip 0
sv_cheat 1
parrot007 😂😂
Somehow this added +10 for me.. must be a bonus level up.
done
*HELP MY CHARACTER SHEET DOESNT HAVE A CHARISMA STAT*
You seem to think I can think clearly in an awkward situation.
Niels Jansen How bold of him
When my brain knows I'm in an awkward situation it will do everything in its power to make sure I don't forget it. It's as if there's a little CD player up there that's only got one track. As soon as the confidence breaks it hits the play button. "You're awkward. You're a mess. You're a failure. You're awkward. You're a mess. You're a failure. Everyone's judging you. Never go out in public again." (Replay).
In reality, most people don't even notice our anxieties, and if they do they usually couldn't care less 🤷♀️ One day I will conquer my brain.
Make a point to adopt better body language and your thoughts will follow
You have at first to fake, and then when you'll get use to faking it, you won't even need to fake it anymore, you'll be different. Your brain will have been trained.
Just means you have to make your behaviors automatic, so you don't have to be thinking clearly.
It's ok, some people - never - think clearly.
#1:Adjust your body Language
a.Use the 3 second rule eye contact (unless your talking to one person)
b. Show your palm most of the time when speaking (reveal and you'll be more confident/trustworthy)
c.Commitment
#2.Handle Friendly Teasing
a.Take Up More Space
b.Laugh With The Group
c.Double Down On The Joke
#3: Tell Your Own Embarrassing Stories
a. Activate The Confident Body Language
b.Choose High Impact Words (e.g- "Amazing Trip"," Which I think was the best summer of my life!",That was maybe the most stressful day of my life." )
c.Embody The Characters In Your Story
#4: Let go of managing people’s opinion of you
a.If You Ever Feel Awkward,Ask Yourself,"What perception am i fighting right now?" And then relax.Because this is just a perception of you :')
I'm just taking notes,but you're very welcome! :))
I dont even wanna knoe how often this got screen shot :F
lmao thanks, charisma +1
I just took a picture of this and I'm going to write this down, this is very helpful, thanks so much!!!
Thank you!
Congratulation, you are now not yourself anymore.
Video summary for you speed demons out there:
Adjust your body language by:
- 3 second eye contact with everyone in the room, this makes everyone feel acknowledged and you capture their attention
- Use your hands to express and gesture (don’t hide your palms)
- own your movement, embrace awkward situations, don’t close up
Have fun with friendly teasing
- laugh with the group (don’t always retort with a witty comment)
- Double down on a joke aimed at you (this spreads the laughter in a friendly way)
Tell your own embarrassing stories
(this shows confidence)
- Use high impact words (Keeps your audience engaged)
- Act out the story vocally and physically (Again, keeps everyone engaged)
Let go of managing people’s opinions of you
- it’s freeing.
(Was multitasking while watching this so do pardon me if I missed anything or wrote it in a hard to understand way)
This is good comment
This should be pinned
My dad walked in and asked what I was watching. I told him porn.
Dodged a bullet right there.
Underrated comment 😂😂
my dad told me this video would help me...
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Did you show him your palms?
WAIT what
"Confidence is not based on controlling the perception of others but embracing the truth of who you are" 💯💯💯
Yes! I held tight to that too
I think it's both being yourself and using advices about our body language as these are truth about us and how we behave
@@marcomulasso9904 yeah. rephrased it means to be yourself and accept your imperfections, rather than putting on a difficult act.
i read this on the exact moment that he said this
Aziza Shawdun so philosophical...can you be my mentor?
*_Gain experience talking to others no matter how awkward you might think you are because with experience grows confidence_*
D D Face your fears. You’d be surprise by how many people would be interested to listen to you!
@@dd9639 that fact that you even tried is a good start. At first most of us feel the same way, continue to get more exposure until that feeling slowly dissipates and watch your confidence grow. But I need to emphasize the EXPOSURE, talk to at least one person every day! Even if it's a cashier for a few seconds and just continue to add on a little time over the days and weeks
It makes me soooo tired. I literally do not have the energy level to do things like that for a prolonged period of time.
I just start shutting down. Which makes everything worse. "Who's the catatonic chick on the sofa by herself? Weird."
@@dd9639 Please dont do it
Recap :
1. The rule of the 3s : maintain eye contact for 3 seconds
2. Show your palms ( it apparently retains people’s attention when you talk )
3. Move, gesticulate while you’re speaking ( move hands ... )
4. Commit to what you express ( for example : when you tell a story, do imitations etc ... )
5. Fully embrace awkwardness : don’t show the embarrassment if you’re disconcerted, go further : for example, if a friend is teasing you, double down the joke, tell your own embarrassing story, etc ...
6. Use words with packed emotions, you can use somehow hyperboles while you’re telling a story for example ...
It can be words like : amazing, best, ... to describe little things
7. Have fun with the group, laugh at the jokes ...
8. And the last one ( finally lol ) and the most important : do not pay attention to what people think, it’s worthless, be yourself a 100%
THANK UUU!!
👌🏻👌🏻
You are going to heaven
Thank you so much, not only did u just write points but also examples. It was so helpful when taking note🙏🏻
I now realized why white people always used to boast behind their money and its because of insecurities due to the lack of not knowing how to be human!! Black people we have always been winning without money we just got tricked through the white man knowledge
Tom Holland's storytelling abilities are elite which makes him charismatic
his stories seems fake because he exaggerates a lot
@@edin410 k but they fun as hell to listen to
@@edin410 storytelling doesn't have to be 100% accurate. Actually 100% accuracy most of the time makes you a bad storyteller.
he tell to much tho
@@parkjiminismylight6441 damn , my stories are always accurate bc I dont want to lie
when he went "If you're ever feeling awkward, just ask yourself:" my mind immediately completed the sentence with: "What would Tom Holland do?"
Good advice! If you're in an awkward situation, just start spoiling movies!
Probably do a backflip or spoil the next marvel movie
Do a back-flip while you spoil the next Marvel movie, haha
@@guicaldo7164 😂
Spoil the new avengers movie
I'm only awkward because I never have anything to talk about, ever. Even with good friends and family
have a hobby other than gaming and anime maybe
Same. It's pretty sad.
Michael Olawoye you don’t have to have something specific to talk about, people talk about anything and everything. talk about memories, hobbies, something that interests you, something you bought. talk about something significant that happened in your day, talk about the things that are happening around you. even talk about problems. it doesn’t have to be complicated :] you never run out of things to talk about!
@@lynnieebeaniee yea that's good and all, but I have a problem with keeping the topics fluent. I could talk about the best part of my day, but once it's stated, where do I go after that. That's where I struggle most, and I'm sure many more feel the same.
You seem to know what you are talking about, plz halp. I deal with this every day in school.
@@kestanecihasanpubg I feel personally attacked
Just wanted to say, for someone like me who's autistic with mental health issues, these videos are really helpful, thank you for making them, just watching these makes me feel like I'm understanding social situation better, I look forward to seeing how I do after lock-down from these.
You got this bro!
They really do help a lot!
What does it feel like to be autistic and to have mental issues may I ask? Just curious.
Yess I have autism and I use this to study the neurotypicals
Also, we are fine just the way we are.
1:54
Mark Zukerburg: Doesn’t show palms
Me:deletes facebook
LOL!
F yasss 😂
HAHAH
You mean, not just your account, but the entire facebook company, right?
Cause he is not trustworthy
*The key:* Be self ware of your awkwardness and then work towards being more self comfortable.
Well yeah but that’s the key to fixing anything, really. It is the hardest part though
Yes self acceptance is definitely important.
Sure...
Know you're awkward and own it. It's whatever
Oml when I become aware of my awkwardness, I become more awkward 😂
the only 3 second rule i know is picking something off the floor and putting it in my mouth
I think that's 5 second rule
@@SoDamnMetal No u dead
If you’re hungry 10 secs is also ok
Persobe yeah everyone is so damn picky
Its kept you alive and in the game!!!
Me: He makes a lot of good points. I'll start doing this.
Me 5 seconds later: No memory of what was just said in the video.
Write down what you understand. This helps me a lot
Your pfp matches well with your comment lol
Yesss
Memorize it if you can't remember it fully
Because of the you word. It's a blaming word by nature recomindation by me try to watch it again. But replace that word, in the head with I or me enstead. That is an adiea by nature the words judgemental. As well as very very disorientating and addictive. Takes a strong mind to listen to big ideas. And especially comprehend think slow aka be patient and especially being very active and writting ideas and thoughts out or talking to others about them. I hope that was helpful to someone here.
*awkward silence*
me: *shows my hands and starts talking about that time when i pissed my bed when i was 16*
Again awkward silence
you made laugh so much 😂 omg
lmao
At least you showed your palms so that means you’re not awkward 👌
maybe you have to be more confident while talking about pissing your bed :D
"....less trustworthy...."
Shows video of Mark Zuckerberg lol
He's a damn reptilian
@@JakethThySnaketh
The galactic council of controllers dislikes the term "reptilian". The politically correct term is "scale-people".
LMAO
It was reference to a previous video about why people don’t trust Mark Zuckerberg.
😂
"Tutorial: How to be like Tom Holland"
Ok I'm listening
Step 1: Always be the most adorable person in the room
@@alyssa2807 Step 2: Be awesome
Step 3: Secretly be Spider-man
@@totallynormalname365 secretly, not so secretly
@@marinovanderzalm8205oh🤭
Well, you know, Tom does it naturally. Its just the way he is. He was raised that way by intelligent, cultured and sociable people. He comes from a very good family. In an interview he said that his parents made the children had to tell stories at dinner. And I assume they, parents, told the stories too and his father is stand up comedian. Can you imagine how lucky this guy is? And besides, when he was a little boy, his parents always made him talk with other adults, their friends etc., to look in the eyes and talk. He said, therefore he had no problem working with adults. And he has been working since early childhood.
Of course, Tom being comedian's son probably has an innate comic and presentation talent in him. Plus the observation his parents' behavior, plus the propper upbringing, plus a lot of experience. I repeat, he works in the industry - performs on stage, gives interviews, communicates with a variety of people from childhood.
But still that is very good analysis, thank you. Many of us can use this advises, i guess. They are quite available. I think, the main thing is not to be too strict and demanding to yourself. Be kinder to yourself. But move constantly step by step, little by little and never lose hope.
This sis such a true and perfect comment. His life experiences led him to be the person he is today and he’s lucky
In a cult? Im curious
Hes also so fine and baby boy
I like that-‘the inner extrovert’-good way to put it. I suppose we all have one!
Ironic fact: Tom Holland is afraid of spiders.
i'm afraid of tom holland
@@DEFENDERofficiel And spiders are afraid of you.
Just for the picture of Jellal, I'm subbing.
Everyone are afraid of spiders when there's a huge poisonous spider on them. And that includes Black Widow.
Spiders are afraid of him
"Your deepest confidence is not based in controlling the perception of others, but embracing the truth of who you are."
This line has gotten me far.
Me to adventure time villan or guy that looks evil but is actually pretty chill
Thats a good one
Yep
You are a cat?
Stevepunk Yes.
Vid: how to turn awkwardness into confidence
Step 1: be Tom Holland
Step 2 : be spiderman
steampunk hulk video should be named "how does a future multi millionaire who already experienced massive success at a young age manage to act playfully awkward"
@@tomdabomb16712 agreed
1. Be rich
2. Be famous
When you can climb walls and swing around Manhattan, you'll have so much energy it'll be hard to be awkward.
But I’m Batman
My fave quote ever goes something like this: "if you can't control something why are you worried/stressed about it? If you can control something why are you worried/stressed about it?" -- whenever I think this I feel a lot more calm and confident. Imagine you are stressed talking and its awkward -- there's nothing you can do anyways. Then your body will naturally relax itself a bit when you realize you are locked in anyways and you will actually be more confident in the moment. This has helped me before exams, interviews, dates, etc..
I love how I’m watching these videos like I am alien in disguise trying to assimilate into human society.
Edit: this is my first top comment ever, and i must admit i feel nothing. I definitely am an alien.
Of course you're not... or are y-... no way.
well dude you stole this comment :)
Ha-ha, that would be hilarious, fellow human being
Haha, as a real human being i find this sentence comical, I must laugh. Haha
Still can’t do it tho, I have my hands in my pockets am sweating shaking and can’t keep eye contact for more than 3 seconds
Mark Zuckerberg is indeed the best example of what not to do... in any human interaction.
BlankCanvas88 he's like an alien trying to act like a human, at least an alien would learn eventually how to act convincingly as a human whereas Zuckerberg, well...
Have you seen Theresa May?
He can’t be in a human interaction he is a lizard
Sweet baby rays
Hesalizard
*Awkward moment*
My brain : *let's make it extra awkward*
This is a good point. I used to always make awkward situations more awkward, and that didn't help my relationship with friends at all. Sometimes you just got to read the room and not go through with whatever you're thinking.
since we're here might as well go all the way or like the video says COMMIT
@@WesleyWhiteside that just shows lack of confidence. The only reason why you'd make an awkward situation more awkward is to show other people that it doesn't faze you and that they don't have to be faze by it either. And more often then not, you can break the awkwardness by putting other people at ease with your comfort around those situations.
Meanwhile palms: 'Lets begin the real show'
Some girl: aww man, that joke made we want to kms
Me: yes, I have wanted to kill myself too... HaHahA *shoves palms in her face and stares at her for three seconds*
CHa cha real smooth
Hey man, I don't know if you are going to read this but if you happen to stumble upon this comment, just wanted to say your channel legitimately helped me go back to the confident outgoing guy that I once was. I went through a tough heartbreak that shook me to the point where for about 2 years I became very insecure and didn't take care of myself physically as well as mentally. Today I went out with a couple friends and a few strangers and for the first time in a long time I felt that I was the leader of that group of people. I felt super confident and really comfortable with myself which definitely put most of the attention on me whenever I spoke. So I'd like to genuinely thank you for these videos. Much love - a grateful subscriber
Good for you
Tom Holland really is one hell of a wonderful individual! So charismatic and confident at such a young age. It really is admirable!
What does age have to do with being charismatic and confident? I was the same when I was 5 because I wasn't scared of judgment.
@Oblivious26 1111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111
111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111
@@Artur-r7h thank you for the launch codes
Friends teasing me in public
Me: Laughs hysterically along them shows eye contact to everyone while shaking my head and showing my palms to everyone
Did I do it right?
Razor Reznov Yep 😉
JEEZ i laughed so much...
lol
T E dudeee🤣😂
Are you a Scorpio lmao
Mark Zukerburg watching this video to be less awkward: Hey, thats me!!
1:54
This comment is underrated.
Lul
Hahaha 😂😂
IM DYING
🤣🤣🤣🤣😭
Who else is strangely nervous watching this video?
Well me. That’s because I feel like I’m in his position talking to these people and I reallyyyy don’t like talking to people lmao
Tom Holland gave me sense of major inferiority complex 🤣 Bruh he's so fine af! Makes me feel out of his league but I admire him for that (I'm a woman just saying but still jelous of him 🙂)
Yep haha
Basically
Step 1: be yourself
Step 2: embrace your awkwardness
Step 3: if someone makes a joke about you or teases you just go along with it
🖐️🖐️
BE YOURSELF!! BE WHO YOU WANT TO BE
Asdfgh Zxcvbn correct, Show your palms....!!!! ✅
You know what I will be what I want! I now am an attack helicopter
A bit reductive innit.
1. Adjusting your body language (3 Second rule of eye contact)
2. Reveal your palms ( makes you seem more trustworthy)
3. Rendition (embrace awkwardness fully)
4. Take up more space
5. Laugh with the group
6. Double down on the joke
7. Tell your own embarrassing stories
8. Activate common body language tips( when you tell stories)
9. Choose high impact words
10. Embody the characters in your story (voice,accent, etc.)
11. Let go of managing people’s opinions of you
12. Just embrace the truth
You’re welcome:)
Cheers
Thank you
Thanks for saving 11 minutes of my life:)
I stopped right here.
Juan BTL soooooo everything I can’t do. GREAT!!!
Every time i watch your videos i feel like an alien trying to learn how to be hooman
Hey, at least there are videos!
You're not the only one.
I always felt like that.
You’re one step ahead of Zuck
Hard same.
I pray that this guy has everything he’s ever wanted in life because this is awesome! Wife, kids, wealth, happiness......he deserves it for teaching people things like this.
I just want to say thank you.
Can you do more videos to help people who think they have a boring personality?
1D8G 4ZPD They're tons of articles on websites and there's tons of youtube videos that talk about that. The main component to boring people , is their everyday scheduled lives. Same routine over and over again. You don't take risks. No passion and fire in your eyes because you never leave your comfort zone. No spontaneous adventures. Not only that, but if you're constantly on social media wasting your life scrolling, it does nothing good. Start reading books that enlighten you on certain topics. Watch documentaries. Learn a new skill. Develop a new hobby. Be unpredictable.
1D8G 4ZPD Boring people 9 times outta 10, have absolutely no substance to their lives. It's not them that's boring, it's their surroundings.
Care about what you do more, do more of what you care about and own it.
If you feel like you’re boring in a conversation an easy tactic is to ask people a lot of questions about themselves and act super interested. People love to talk about themselves, so you’re making them feel good but you don’t have to open up too much. Just work on remaining relaxed (turn towards them, nod, smile, etc) and listening well. This has helped me in situations where I don’t know what to say to someone, whether it be because I’m having an introverted day or the person just intimidates me. Another one is to remember that you’re not as boring as you might think you are. I talk to people about all kinds of random things. They might think I’m weird, but they definitely don’t think I’m boring. You’d be surprised what kind of random topics can fascinate people! Either way, be relaxed, confident, and open. If the conversation lulls, excuse yourself and don’t be hard on yourself because we’re all learning!
watch his video about sophie turner and keanu revz
*shows palms*
why are your palms so sweaty?
*stares for 3 seconds*
What the hell is wrong with this guy?
*laughs at self*
No one else laughs
I can relate. It pisses me off when people misunderstand meaning of
my words and behavior.
@@seriousperson2065 it's so anoying ikr...
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
underrated comment!
😂😂😂
How To Turn Awkwardness Into Confidence
.
First step : be Tom Holland
Second step: eat a snickers
Joseph Field you’re not you when you’re hungry
chicken legs TV good since I won't be me!
:))))
First step: be attractive
congratulations now your flaws are “adorable quirks”
Pack your bags guys y'all failed miserably.
Me: Turn awkwardness into cringe conversation.
Ugh same though
same thi
I thought this was a Tom Holland interview, but instead I learned how to be confident. Love it
the situations are made awkward because you're fighting to be perceived in a certain way....
that line hit home
This line might of just changed my life.
1. Adjust ur body language
- 3-second rule of eye contact
makes ppl feel included in whatever the heck ur talking about
- show ur palms while talking 7:43
makes comments more intriguing to listen too
avoids distrustfulness
will come across more confidently and trustworthy
- embody the ppl ur talking about too
8:47
- commit do whatever you are doing
it's our fear of being judged or criticized that causes us to try to draw even less attention.
But it is that limited fear that signals discomfort and creates an awkward experience for everyone
by committing fully to something you don't want to do, a situation that could've gone terribly
becomes one where ur confidence shines through 3:14
so if u do something goofy, whether its intentional or the opposite, ur best bet is to continue what ur doing and go all the way
"by embracing awkward situations fully, you show more confidence when every single person on the sidelines"
2. Have fun w/ friendly teasing
- take up more space
ur being warm by even touching ur friends
u show ur not afraid to take control on a physical level.
these gestures signal to the group ur not someone who should be piled onto
- laugh w/ the group
u get to show that you can separate who u are from the part of u that is being teased
the embarrassing things that u did in the past don't define who u r
if u think about that it's easier to look at them with an element of humor
This is what separates the people that consistently get teased from the ones the group gives up on.
if u laugh with it, it mostly goes away
but even more...
- double down on the jokes
if u try this, you'll realize it actually puts u back in control of the convo 5:41
Ur transforming a moment where ppl might have laughed at u, into one where ur showing ur good humor and confidence.
Amplify the joke and spread the laughter
3. tell ur most embarrassing stories
be so good at it that ur friends ask YOU to tell ur own story
if u do this, it shows a supreme level of confidence since ur the one that comfortably and comically sharing what most ppl would consider a nightmare 6:52
4. use exaggerated versions of the truth 8:11
ppl need a reason to listen
incorporate words that have emotion packed into them
"amazing trip"
"the best summer of my life"
"the most stressful day of my life"
5. let go of imagining ppls opinions of u
most of the awareness would just disappear
remember: 99% of the awkward situations u will encounter in ur life are made worse bc ur fighting to be perceived in a certain way.
relax. its only a perception
ur deepest confidence is embracing the truth of who u r
MINDSET makes it just flow naturally
Great
Assert dominance by letting out a chainsaw fart to fill the silence
😅✌️
💀💀💀
How to assert dominance using whale noises
Gold
dégueulasse
TH-cam knows that I am awkward
😂😂😂😂
Actually tho الرجل المستحيل
Dammit youtube!!!
Zuckerberg told em
😅✌️
yea bro it's not like he's a world renowned actor or anything
Oscar Reyes there are plenty of people in the real world that use these things. He’s a world renowned actor because he knows how to act, not necessarily because he is confident. But don’t take that the wrong way; his confidence is the foundation of his acting
Well he plays the same character all the fucking time.
You must be fun at parties. I mean I'm not a world known actor I'm in a little theatre group lol, but I'm doing these unintentionally and it worked for me.
He is still a human being! Just because he’s well known doesn’t mean he’s automatically confident
You know actors aren't acting all the time, right?
I finally realized that the narcissist abuse I went through growing up has hindered my sense of humor and chipped away from my confidence. I always thought people were making fun of me out of spite and good to know the difference after watching this video. Sincerely, thanks.
Yeah. None of this will work on me because I just freeze and my brain shuts down when any hint of stress shows up.
“If you have the right mindset, you don’t need the exact technique in every situation... if you just let go of managing people’s opinion, most of the awkwardness (and probably stress :) would disappear.”
Maybe you need medication
I love the difference between the replies on your comment
@@doritosofasia1912 what am i doing here
If you have an underlying condition you need therapy/medication.
If not, therapy is still good.
That being, social skills, like any other skill, need to practiced and with time you'll get better.
Introverts : oh I see
oh i see
Lol exactly
this man has watched a lot of tom holland cute moments compilations
LOL
That means you probably did too
@@robertrallo3905 We all did...
LMAOOO
@@LisaHall1014 i don't lol
Tom is a perfect example, I’ve always thought how good he is at handling potentially awkward situations
I am an EXTREMELY socially awkward person, so this video helps me IMMENSELY. Thank you for sharing.
Poetic Nation same, does it really work?
@@Lol-wo6is practice is all you really need, it'll work with commitment and simply being aware of these things
Poetic Nation if you’re THAT socially awkward like you say you are, then no, this video won’t help you at all lol, sorry.
@@Lol-wo6is
Looking at this video, I see quite a few mistakes that I have made throughout my young life, and with the solutions offered in this video (Even though my overall goal may be at a distance), I can put them into play, and get the ball rolling (Personally, that's all I ever look for with watching any of Charisma on Demand's videos - To just show me how to get things started, and I will take it from there).
Poetic Nation OH SAME
Tom Holland is Tom Holland and Im sure he is just acting out of instinct not because he is putting forth a 'technique' or 'skill'. He's just being himself.
He may be more inclined to be this way, but it doesn’t mean he’s not also making conscious choices.
I was a homecoming candidate (as a nerd) in high school. We had to dance in front of the entire school (1,000 people) on the spot. I did NOT want to do it. All the other guys looked super terrible, stuff, and awkward. They were all better dancers than me too as the nerd who didn’t dance. Soooo I just decided to get super into it and was just totally ridiculous and the school just loved it.
Same thing with a karaoke contest in college. I just did queen songs and was ridiculous as people loved it even though I actually was uncomfortable in my head.
So I’m not inclined to be super extroverted and confident but I learned pretty early on to just act super confident and when a moment got awkward just roll with it and it turns out better
Doesn't actually matter, though. Anyone can learn to become better at body language, eye contact etc.
You can observe someone subconsciously doing things well and create a technique from their actions. Just because he's not consciously thinking about it doesn't mean there isn't a method to learn
That’s true but they’re using him as example for people who want to appear less awkward
It's a technique and skill that his personality already acquires. It's like some people have more empathy. It's a skill people could learn to use better but some people have more empathy just because it's part of their personality
You should definitely take a look at Aubrey Plaza 🤔
How does she get people to take so well to her deadpan delivery and sarcasm?
In the meantime, it's worth pointing out that the BEST "deadpan" isn't actually deadpan... There's always a visible "cue" to the audience (whoever) that it's sarcastic...
Among the best studies for this principle is "Fawlty Towers", a series by (and starring) John Cleese. He's an expert on the style... In Basil Fawlty, there's two parts to the humor to consider (just so you know going in)...
1. The "cue" to his deadpan style is "the blank stare", a pause during which you just KNOW that it's comedy... antics... However seriously "THE CHARACTER" means the line (or not), that's the point... it is still comedy.
2. The true fun isn't just watching Basil losing his mind every episode. It's about watching the other people AROUND Basil, who are bearing witness to Basil losing his mind every episode...
What makes it a great study is the consistency, not just in fun... but in delivery. The jokes get varied, and the Characters introduced are relatively different. Even the precursors to disaster are different for the show, but the style is consistent, which makes it easier to functionally (independently) study so you can focus on the element(s) you want to learn most at the time... hope this helps. ;o)
I figured all of this out by myself. Although I never defined the specifics to myself, these are the exact actions I use in a group to communicate properly. Finding this video, and watching it, then realizing what it was felt a little odd. I think of awkwardness in a very specific way. It's a little hard to explain, but the key is to remember that embarrassment and awkwardness are things that are decided by you. If you don't want to feel awkward or embarrassed, you simply negate that feeling. Forcefully, or by easing yourself into it.
It's not hard to find out these little tricks by yourself. After all, as long as you look for it, it'll be right there. Think of a way you want to communicate, and who you want to be. Then simply be that person, and be proud of it. Force that personality out and it will naturally merge itself with the conversation. Then everything after that is just you being you, without restraint.
The thigh thing was definitely a power move
I watched this. I'm now in love with Tom Holland.
I've also liked my own comment because I've learned nothing
@@ElElefante 😂😂
@@nami2827 Oh hey Nami, how's the crew doing?
Woah u weren’t already?
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That umbrella performance he did has now 18 mil. views.Tom went literally hard mode
I'm sure a lot of the viewers went hard mode too
i believe that no matter what i would never be able to dance dressed as rihanna in public without freeze or move very rigid in this life.
His confidence was amazing there
RiꜱᴇnHᴇᴇd Damn, he can dance O_o
Something I learned from Tom during an interview was is response to how young he looks. I used to get so offend and back offish when someone pointed out how young I looked. During an interview Tom was told he look so young, and Tom responded with a thank you. I saw how mature that sounded and although he confined to look young the perception of him being young was left and was filled with a sense of maturity.
Didn’t realize Tom Holland was a damn legend.
He’ll be
Neither did i lol
This video made me realize that Tom Holland is a genius
Yeah, he probably has high Emotional intelligence:D
yeah like wtf Tom is a gift
Use the 3 second rule enough to where it becomes automatic and you’re always “ON” like Ryan Seacrest.
Cool since I can only remember one rule at a time lol .
And I'm a Ryan Seacrest Type
Zachary Laid Finding Freedom I’ve seen u in like 5 comment sections today
ok elisha long
Fellow Elisha fan I see
I was at a family gathering with a lot of people I didn’t know once, and this was when they decided to throw me a surprise party. I don’t like being the centre of attention and there were so many people there I never met so it was reeeeallyy awkward for me. Internally I was really embarrassed and shy and freaking out. Externally however, I played it off in stride, started laughing and smiling, clapped my hands to show enjoyment for their singing, walked around the room waving and thanking everyone. Honestly I don’t even know how I did it. Later, I asked my sister if I looked awkward since that was all I could remember feeling and she said I looked like a queen coming to greet the people. She said I looked so confident and sure. That observation never fails to make me surprised. I guess anyone can end up looking confident even if they don’t feel it.
Fake it till you make it! You got this!!
You know, I kind of understand it looks like I am trying to ruine this party, but I think someone has to stop this obsession with confidence. I hate surprise parties, I hate speaking to people I did not choose to speak, and this is absolutely normal. I never pretend I like something I hate. This stop people from giving me these things. I manage any social situation, I like speaking in public, but I also realise that being adorable for everyone is not my friggin goal in life.
Charisma on Command: how to turn awkwardness into confidence
me: * cries * *FINALLY! THANK YOU GOD*
Tbf he has already made a couple of videos abt it
Hahahhahahah so true
You're crying?....... Awkward.
omg literally😂😂😂😂😂😂
I don't understand how this made sense to you I feel like a goddamn alien
Charlie, I owe you my job. Honestly! I was so introverted and anxious, now I finally feel confident working and talking to ppl. Thank you so so much!
Tell me ur ways!!! My main problem is I don't know how to continue a conversation cause I don't know what to say when the topic at hand dies out.
Minnie Mouse prompt other people to talk about themselves. maybe ask about how they felt in a certain situation maybe one that just happened or last nights storm. People love to talk about themselves (and it takes the weight off you as the conversation holder) Or look around the room and talk about something in the room. (Seriously anything. You see a faucet.. ask about water. Do they only drink RO? Do they notice different tastes? Have they ever turned on the faucet and it came out brown?) It’s all about just finding common ground. Hope that helps 🍀
I F
Small talk sucks tho
Us introverts like to talk about topic topics not the fucking weather for the 100th time of the day
And small talk literals usually lasts around 10 seconds max
And I know this because I work at a restaurant and my coworkers love talking and I’m just not so good at it yet
But I am improving, just learning to be myself and its kindve working I’ve also recently figured out how to handle my awkwardness without watching the vid at all
My technique is just to not be hard on your self but instead use positive affirmations and tricking the mind into thinking nothing is wrong and nothing bad happened so that I do not build anxiety when I talk again
It’s a simple but very effective strategy because the mind lives off habits and if I keep doing this eventually I’ll just be social anxiety free
And that will be awesome because I have been the quiet kid in the class for 90% of my classes for 5 years now
feel like youre lying, pretty people arent awkward
@Layla Izumi not really, you come off as shy or introverted and women and men find that "cute" because they get to break you in and see you when youre fully expressive. if youre ugly no one cares.
Instructions were unclear, now im in a relationship with my grandma
Riich. Lmao
Hahaha 😂
Awkward..
You always were. A family relationship.
Sweet home alabama
"give everyone 3 seconds of eye contact"
Anxiety and ADHD: you know the rules, and so do i.
*Looking into the ground* I have no idea what you are talking about
@Ayor a mm you dont know what you're talking about. i have nothing to make excuses for and im productive and i am very social. yet anxiety and adhd still overwhelm me, and i never used them as excuses. its just mental pain i deal with all by myself. so your point is?
@Ayor a some people out there cant control these things, do you think you're making things better? you're only gonna make them feel more guilt and lean towards never talking about their problems, and have them constantly struggle all by themselves. i personally dealt with such problems. nobody ever acknowledged my mental problems, so i just never talk about them again, never mention them, even when it was clear that its taking over, i never mentioned it and i took responsibility. no matter what i did, i always look up solutions, the struggle is always there, if i ignore it it gets worse, if i give it attention i feel more struggle, best i can do is warp my life to fit these struggles. there is nothing else i can do.
@Ayor a pretty sure you're respectable human being tho ♡
@Ayor a guess i fell for the trap
All of a sudden, I’m finding myself more attracted to Tom Holland.
Makeup Minx 0w0
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@@jannymatthew5378 yes I do. Thank you Mr. Austin
@@jannymatthew5378 Austin, excuse me but this is my sister that was killed by metra train. It this comment is very disrespectful. I don't know who you are or if you even know her but you need to take this down.
@@ferndevil5771 lady this is Keke Palmer.
Nothing, absolutely nothing can be more awkward than a *handshake fail*
I'm laughing coz I've had plenty of those.😂😂
Hhhhha for me it isn't.. i just laugh and say "take 2" and we hand-shake again.. sometimes i even say "and now a cool handshake" and we act EXTRA weird and laugh it off. It's HOW u react when the handshake wasn't right.
Yep tried to give a handshake to a guy one time because I thought it would be a pretty standard thing to do but he didn’t follow through with the handshake so we just ended up holding hands... so awkward lol
Just mention its awkward. Chances are the other person finds it just as awkward
Twan Willems Yeah every time something awkward happens I just say “Well that was awkward!” And we usually both laugh and then can move the conversation without an awkward pause
I really thought he was gonna say
“Whenever you feel awkward, just think: what would Tom Holland do?”
My brain is definitely too tired for this
Learned a lot from watching this video intermittently over this past year. Honestly feel like I've gained some confidence just from watching it. I've had friends "tease" me, and rather than take offence, I joked back at my expense and laughed along with them; the jokes against me soon died. I've been sharing more and more eye contact in groups of people. And just the other week when I arrived at work, there were about 4/5 people that were happy to see me and they all proceeded to chant my name; usually I would curdle myself and shy away awkwardly not knowing what to do. Instead I dropped my bag and started dancing, hahah. Honestly can't believe what this video has done for me.
Hey!!! How are you now?
I've noticed that my brother does this and that's why he is so funny and gets along with everyone
Your comment made me realise my 20 year old brother does this too and that’s why he is known for his comedy and being great at interacting with anyone. I’m 25 years old and have a lot to learn from my charismatic little bro
As a hopelessly introverted person, who doesn't exactly thrive in social situations these videos are helping a lot. Thank you!
"Let go of managing other people's perceptions of you."
*Runs a channel teaching people how to manage other's perceptions of them.*
Love you bro, but you confuse me sometimes.
Lmao
The point is not to force it. In several of his videos, he says to follow what feels most natural to you. Basically, it's enhancing the good qualities that are already there, not being someone you aren't.
Remy LeBae Enhancing, and embracing.
@@remylebae3395 we all human
@@spitzkopf2128 no we are all elephants
I can imagine the "commitment" and "take up more space" points backfiring in so many spectacularly humiliating ways I'd rather just be awkward forever.
yes, smb could wright a brilliant episode in sitcome based on this. :)
haha respect
Thousands of years from now humans will look back on this and transmit telepathic vibes across the entire population mutually agreeing "we were such apes back then"
gen·u·ine We always have been.
The difference between us and our predecessor is that we have managed to put on rags and call it suits.
gen·u·ine if anything these videos will be even more needed in the future as people will get more closed in,these videos wouldn’t have been needed 50 years ago.plus as the population increases more people will need these videos.
Roger that
I doubt the internet will exist considering Y2K will happen again and the internet will be destroyed and invented agian I hope
Lmao @ implying people or the world will exist in thousands of years.
Embrace awkward situations by laughing about it ! It transforms the moment, spreading laughter :)
simple, yet very effectful!!! :3
or people just think your psicotic
Yeah, I usually do that if I’m being awkward
@@ecliptik8020 psychotic? there should be an age limit for comments
jesse can you believe people speak different languages and you are not superior to anyone for correcting one Typo they made? who's the childish one here?
Nobody:
TH-cam: Hey, we think you might just be awkward enough to like this video recommendation.
Me: 👍🏿
Hahaha true
😄
Ok youtube
You right
👍🏻
👍🏿
Thanks your channel I literally put myself in awkward situations every single day to practice. I go to places where I don't know anyone that don't matter much and try to converse with random strangers at every opportunity. It helps to practice thanks man this channel has helped me immensely.
Wait so saying, “airplane food, what’s up with that”, doesn’t make all situations less akward???
What is that from? I remember that. Was it family guy?
Own it!!!
No, we left that in the 90’s 😔
ALPHA DOG MINDSET why are you in everyone’s replies
You can say, “what’s up with that” after anything as long as you say it in a Seinfeld voice.
Just bite all people in the room and build your own confidence 🍃
I think that's showing dominance
i like that plan
*_It'S COroNA tiME!_*
(In my _very_ best 'TV game show' narrator voice...)
You certainly build _something!_ LIKE.... your very own:
_Personalized_ strains of various bloodborne pathogens! 😆😆😆
i think you forgot that we are humans, not lions
Alright, Tom is a rather unique case here..
Confidence + funny + good looking + energetic + positive vibes
no one can beat that, even with 3 seconds rule lmao
0:30 he is very skilled at turning those more difficult moments around.
0:50 3 second rule of equally gaze. makes people feel included.
1:40 he shows his palms. shoes open and comfort.
2:40 more commitment: otherwise, it would show everyone feels uncomfortable.
3:40 by embracing awkward situations fully, you show more confidence than every person on the sidelines. this is when awkwardness is forced on you. for i.e. the friends are teasing you.
4:00 when you're a guy and your friends are gonna tease you and it's not out of malice. if you handle properly, then you can be a leader in the group.
take up more space: fill or occupy a certain amount of volume, often specified through the use of modifiers.
4:40 pile on/onto (someone): 1. (of a group of people) to jump or climb on top of someone: 2. (of a group of people) to attack 被欺負的
4:50 a simply technique is to laugh with the group.
5:05 you can seperate from the aspect you being teased and who you are. because those things dont define who you are. and put you back in control of the conversation
6:00 show good humor and confidence.
6:40 tell your own embarrassing story. you are in charge of your own story.
9:30 99% of the awkwardness is going to be worse if you're going to fight back.
10:00 you are not perfect. there's always going to be place that other teases. that is in recognizing those less than perfect facts and liking yourself anyways. the true confident is generated!
Social blunders are inadvertent violations of normative standards of behavior. Although blunders can be embarrassing and unpleasant, most people view them as relatively fleeting and inconsequential.
Thank you
Timothée Chalamet is very awkward and shy, but he’s still very likeable. Could you perhaps do a video on why he remains popular despite his awkwardness?
With kind regards,
A fan
2:00 “Less trustworthy”
Shows Mark Zuckerberg
Bravo👏🏽
When you’re get caught stalking your favourite celebrity and say it’s just “research”
Thats very me
You’re just very observant
I never realized how good he is at public speaking wow
6:08 "So you can then take the conversation where ever you like."
me: _Drops smile. Says nothing._
*laughs exactly 3 "ha's", inhales sharply and looks away*
Guest 123 yes.
Ah, silence. My favorite conversational topic.
Me after watching this video.
Great now I can act like a proper human HUMAN.
*_Mark Zuccerberg has entered the chat_*
tom holland’s american accent in homecoming was so great that when i heard his real voice i was genuinely shocked
I would never know this video could make such a big impact on me. Thanks for making this video. I think it changed my life.
Same it changed my life too