Intrusive Thoughts or Really Wrong Relationship? How We Tell the Difference in Therapy
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 8 ก.พ. 2025
- Are your relationship worries just anxiety, or could they have some foundation?
Many people experience constant, intrusive thoughts about their relationships and partners: questions like "Are they right for me?" or "Can I trust them?" or even "What about their past?"
While these thoughts can stem from natural insecurities, they may also indicate something specific: Relationship OCD (ROCD) or Retroactive Jealousy, both of which involve obsessive thinking focused on your relationship and your partner's past.
In this video, we explore how these thought patterns differ from genuine concerns in a relationship. Sometimes, obsessive thoughts are just that - thoughts. But sometimes, the doubts signal real issues. We’ll look at key factors therapists consider in assessing whether obsessive thinking or legitimate concerns are at the heart of the problem.
Topics Covered:
ROCD & Retroactive Jealousy - How these obsessive-compulsive tendencies can drive relationship fears.
Red Flags or Obsessive Thoughts? - How to differentiate hypothetical fears from real-life suspicions.
Patterns of Obsessive Thinking - How past relationship patterns can influence the present.
Your Partner’s Reactions - What your partner’s responses can tell you about the relationship.
Therapeutic Approaches - How therapy can help, whether it’s ROCD or a deeper relationship concern.
Whether you're struggling with obsessive thoughts or navigating a complex relationship, understanding these dynamics can be a first step toward clarity and peace. Thank you for watching.
#ROCD #RelationshipOCD #Therapy #RelationshipAdvice
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The information provided by Jason Dean is solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or sexual health conditions. Although Jason Dean is a psychotherapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your doctor before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.
Disabled with mental health issues. Really glad I came across your videos, very helpful!!! Thank you
Hey you're very welcome - I'm pleased it's helpful!
Hi Jason, curious about your input on why retroactive jealousy would be worst for a childless 37yr old man dating a 46 year old single mom
Well, it could be a number of factors - and one of them might be that this feels more of a committment, a leap of faith. And while that can feel really good, retroactive jealousy will ramp up the doubts about her and her past too. This is speculation on my part of course, but hopefully worth considering.
Does rj cause resentment towards your partner? If so what are steps that can be done to reduce it
@@thomascrown5765 That's a good question and it depends on the 'type' of resentment thoughts and what fears/uncertainties might be underlying them. Often it's about learning how to detach from such intrusive thoughts and we do that through exposure/ERP.
Sometimes if the thoughts are completely unfounded, we need to be able to see right through them.
And as I mention in this video, sometimes they do have some foundation - some legitimate questions about the partner or suitability of the relationship that calls for couple therapy perhaps.
It’s like finding out about her past made me have resentment because of the decisions she made and the positions she kept putting herself to get hurt and I hate that bad things happen to her. It lowered her value in my eyes for some reason. She’s stil the same person I met and fell in love with but it feels like she isn’t anymore which is weird. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t enjoy her as much and I’m always stressed around her and now she’s becoming stressed about the relationship because of me. It’s like finding out things changed my perception of her somehow and I stay wanting the relationship to be good but it’s like I’m in love with what I thought she was and I don’t like who she was and now who she became in my eyes. The relationship has become painful and toxic and it’s affecting my everyday life now. Idk what to do but I keep thinking about breaking up even though it’ll be hard . Any other advics
@@thomascrown5765 Yes I hear you - it's a real struggle trying to reconcile what you know about the past with what you know of her as a person in the present. I would say this as a therapist, but ideally you need to be talking with someone and exploring this a bit. And as a general steer, remember that there's always context to the past and we can all change. Be mindful of the past by all means, but giving the benefit of the doubt tends to get easier over time. I hope this helps!