Bro, i have, like 2 swamps with full text, and a swamp that put back a creature from the grave in the top, so EVERYTIME i put a swamp in thr table, i have to explain if is the full text or the "revive" one.
I was gonna comment a suggestion along the lines of "clearly what this deck needs is the over-explained basic lands, because the only thing better than omitting text that people would really like to read during a game, is including an excessive amount of text for cards that everyone knows the mechanics of." The fact Bobcat beat me to it makes me very happy.
@@RedBobcatGames I mean, according to the rules, you can say that it gives your goblins +1/+1 and mountainwalk, and ommit it also affects your opponent's goblins
ah, but I raise you 3.6 Card Identification and Interpretation--the first three sentences of its second paragraph read: "Players have the right to request access to the official wording of a card they can describe. That request will be honored if logistically possible. The official text of any card is the Oracle text corresponding to the name of the card." Can I describe a card? Yes. That one. It could be on you (or a judge, who will be *very* pleased with your deck) to then look up each card and read the oracle text verbatim.
That makes a lot more sense. “Cards are considered to have their oracle text” probably means you can’t point at a blank card and pretend it doesn’t have any additional effects.
I have seen judges rule that if a card has no readable text due to being textless or due to being in another language you have to give the full oracle text on request or be penalized
@@RedBobcatGamesyou might be able to pitch it to him if the joke is you bring this deck, he brings his Deck of the Future that has stickers and all the most annoying to keep track of mechanics of all time, and the other two players are in the dark that the gimmick of the episode is they are about to get epically trolled by the two of you. Since you don't want to ruin the experience of a celebrity guest, the other players should be either Sam, Spice8Rack, or Pleasant Kenobi, pick two. Or if you want to permanently ingratiate yourself to WotC, make it an episode where he gets Gavin Verhey on the show again and the third player brings some other absolutely evil idea from the company's list of very bad decisions. (Or, you know, just see if you can find two more aweful deck concepts like these and have a laugh)
im gonna fire up the printer for some good ol fashioned "Fill in the blank" commander. ill just give everyone a marker beforehand and we just make up the cards as we go
@@ryangainey94 not really, from how I understand stand it you can just make any 2 mana spell be any other 2 mana spell. Like counter spell into arcane signet. just cus you can
@Shark_Byte_ No no, that card does have one restriction. The new card must have the exact same cost. So any UU card can be a counterspell. But that UU card cannot be an arcane signet because it costs 2
best satire i've seen in months. the constant zooming and arrows to non-existent text is the cherry on top that takes this from a kind of funny video to something hilarious
GODDAMN IT I had this idea like a year ago and never finished it. I named it based on those clunky SLD precon names: “Reading Is For Losers, Just Guess What The Cards Do”
The fact that I was thinking "Just to mess with people the mana base should be the full rules text lands to make it worse" right before you revealed it, love it. This is the chaos I am here for 😂
As someone in a pod of yugioh players this deck actually wouldn't change much about anyone's situational awareness. "yugioh players can't read" is a common saying in the community the number of times my opponents have tried to target my saint traft with removal is getting pretty old 😆
To be fair, if only because of font size and background color: yugioh cards can't be read, so it doesn't really matter whether or not the players can read.
@stevenmcclary534 the implication Is that we have short attention spans and the cards have long text. So we just assume what the opponents cards say the card does is correct and only have a vague notion of what our own cards do. WAe can read the cards we normally choose not to. Explaining the joke and what not.
Reminds me of that guy who ran the Japanese Strixhaven Alt Art for 'Gods Willing' and would just lie about it being other W instants like 'Swords to Plowshares' because the art was ambiguous enough and people wouldn't call him on it.
On the contrary, I think this deck would win every game because your opponents would see the theme develop on-board and immediately scoop. Granted, you'd never be able to play it against the same person twice. I do wonder how the sales for the Poker Face lair went, though. I would have genuinely considered buying it had they been vanilla or french vanilla creatures, but maybe I'm in the minority on that. At least Goblin King might be worth picking up as a single. I'd also like to point out that 5 cards in a playing card theme is a bit of a fumble, I'd like a word with whoever was in charge of this one.
Yup, I have purchased a single Secret Lair in the past, and it was the 10 card land reprint of that sort of rubbish Innistrad cycle in black and white. It wasn't cheap, but when I saw the bonus card was a Forest from Morningtide I vowed never again
I have a phyrexian theme deck with as many of the phyrexian language cards as I could get my hands on, and even at such a low number I still have to get up scryfall up just to be able to know what I'm playing and letting people know what I'm doing
I dont play magic and this is madness. Why are there so many cards with fake text and no text. If i saw one of these cards get played i would assume my opponent is trying to fuck with me
now do the opposite: wall of text tribal. laugh as people regret asking what a card does as they barely contain the information you give them!!! ... or they're patient enough to understand, which counters the premise, but that's few and far between.
Isnt that basically all modern edh decks? My 5c legends deck already has almost ten lines of text on every card and to this day I still find new combos
@@actuallyKriminell probably not? I am counting lands as well and most modern deck mana bases have 5-6 lines of text per card at most. so for commander, it'd have to be like all the LOTR lands, the channel lands, and even the flip lands like hostile hostel or hawkin's national laboratory. and then you do the funny thing and have one card that does the monarchy, one card that takes the initiative, one card that ventures into the dungeon (for the other 3 dungeons) one card with daybound/nightbound, one card with "ring tempts you" and maybe planeswalkers with emblems idk. then you can add MORE cards to commander as a rule 0. for example, the bounty cards can be added, then planechase cards, then archnemisis cards, and if you want to do this with unsets, add in attractions as well. I may be missing some extra small things as well, but it'd be a deck that doesn't feel like a 100 card deck.
I made a sphinx tribal commander deck that turned into that. First match and I began to dread my turn when it arrived, as it'd mean having to scour through the wall of text that was every sphinx creature I had.
I hate that I got to 2:15 before realizing there was something you were trying to tell your audience, but I was unable to parse what it was. I love this video, mind you, I just didn't get the joke until it was WELL into the video.
Ha! Well that still counts. I made sure to lay it on thicker as time went on, but also was a touch worried I was coming off as very mean. I'm glad it still reads as a joke though, so that's good. Thank you for the comment
*most* of these textless cards were made 10+ years ago. and idk, i’ve been playing magic very often for like a year and have seen exactly one of these cards ever actually played in a deck
Honestly, I kinda like full art cards for simple, straightforward effects like rampant growth, path to exile etc... Cards you don't need to read because they're so iconic don't really need text. Random flavor of the month legendary creatures that came out 2 sets ago though, let's just have them have an alternate art or something.
Agreed. Like if those poker face secret lairs were vanilla creatures, all the information is still on the card. It's just ambiguous if number and suit means x mana of that color or x of any mana and one of that color. Which is easy enough to memorize
@@Dr_Mortis_SCP Ah. See this is a perfect secret layer for vanilla (or even French vanilla, with the keyword just under creature type in the portrait) creatures, just not the creatures they used
I got so happy when Jedit Ojannen came up and I proudly knew that he did absolutely fucking nothing and that I'm probably one of the few people to know this information instinctively
i typically refer to jedit ojanen as the worst card ever printed, but i would totally use it if i had that version. it's the only one that actually makes sense since it doesn't have any text and looks amazing.
Oh I don't know about worst. One With Nothing has to be up there. And some of those old school Phyrexians are all downside. And isn't there a creature from Futuresight that has 0 toughness?
Clarification on Derived Information: -You can omit stuff, but you can't lie about it. -At regular rules enforcement level, all Derived information is considered Free.
You can lie about certain things. There's a few cards that even encourage it, especially anything that to do with facedown cards or ones that ask players to vote
@@RedBobcatGames sure, but what the morph card you just played is and what you are thinking of choosing for Trap the Trespassers are private information, not derived.
@@RedBobcatGames Yeah, I think in this case it's more of a "you can't say your Tarmogoyf is a 2/3 when you have four different card types in your graveyard."
It was so much fun trying to remember all of these cards. I knew more than I thought I would. Incinerate was the first burn spell I ever played from my first ever event, a Pack War for M12. I didn't really understand the second half of it and played it on the only thing on the board and eventually won the game. The guy was so mad but explained it to me in a friendly way. In case anyone asks, it was a Cudgel Troll, which is just a decently-sized green creature for 4 mana. (Wow, that's actually kind of fun to try and do.)
I knew basically all of the burn spells, because my first deck used most of them at one point (ah, for the days when I did have an encyclopedic knowledge of everything from Zendikar block on. That came to an end around Kaladesh)
@@RedBobcatGamesthe landfall one (the only one playable in modern right now). On first landfall gain 4 life, on second landfall add X mana (maybe WUBRG? Or is it only 4 mana? Wait, it's not a 5c commander so it can't be WUBRG) and on third landfall deal Y damage (how many?) to a target (what kind? any target or target player?)
@@laytonjr6601 All the Xs are 4 on this omnath. 4 mana 4/4, gsins 4 life, makes 4 mana, deals 4 to (i want to say) any target. I only remember cause my friend made a number 4 deck with this as the commander where every card had a 4 on it
@@uriel7395 It's 4 damage to each opponent and each Planeswalker you don't control (not that you could ever trigger 3 landfall with this deck). Searching Omnath on Scryfall gives first the Arena rebalanced version which is 5 mana so I was confused for a second
@@laytonjr6601you forgot about the etb draw a card, landfall 2 is WURG, and landfall 3 is 4 damage to each opponent and each Planeswalker they control
modern player but just getting back into the game this last couple of months and half the people I play against are rocking decks built like this - secret lairs, full arts, foreign language anime promos, new art textless foils. I feels like I need to memorize every card word for word and recognize each of it's 5 variations
I was so naive when I first saw textless cards, the first ones being "path to exile" and "lightning bolt". I remember saying something to the effect of "this is actually a pretty cool idea, giving only some of the most iconic and simple cards a complete full art textless treatment like this".
this is too cursed and i love it XD (the video, not the cards) i watched the new spice8rack video and left a comment partially regarding this problem and you made a whole commander deck!
Yup, I watched that the other day too and while there's not a massive amount of cross over I feel some of the vibes are similar. It's lined up pretty nicely in terms of timing
I think 8:19 is an animation error, but I prefer the head cannon that you're dying inside at this deck for just a moment, the color literally drained from your body, before you snap back into character and continue the charade of enthusiasm you have for your definitely-not-a-crime-against-humanity monstrosity of a deck.
@@RedBobcatGames Well I can’t forget it’s effect now after playing The Master Transcendent I need one creature to survive the goblin onslaught from my opponent and win on the crack back. My opponent milled a goblin king from radiation and I was happy for 5 seconds.
This is maybe my favoret Gimik deck ever, could you include the decklist I would love to proxy this (and many add in the full-text lands just for the irony)
Errrr, yes? If I can figure out an easy way to do it? If I get a chance tomorrow (and I remember) I'll make a free page on my Patreon that's a list of the cards
Oh yeah? Easy as that. Should be a snap once I've figured out Elvish from LotR. (I say this jokingly, but I know there will be people who have learned both those languages for real)
While the video is excellent, i'm more impressed that you've been responding to seemingly every single comment. Really shows how much you care and enjoy your community.
Do you know how much I had to fight the urge to not reply to this? Every comedic fiber of my being wanted to leave this as the one comment that I don't respond to. But thank you, it's appriciated
god I ABSOLUTELY share the bitter rage you expressed here. what a nightmare deck. I DID giggle with unbridled glee every time you zoomed in on the "text boxes" of all those textless cards.
I had the same idea for a deck!! Super happy to see that someone’s done all the work for me 😂❤ I had another idea to make a deck with cards that were still in English but just a pain in the ass to read like poster cards! Much love!
I feel like this guy is what happens after Yahtzee lost the rights to the little imps on zero punctuation, and now the imps are doing their own channels. Nonsense TH-camr headcanon aside, this deck idea is hilarious, and looks incredibly tedious to play. Excellent job. XD
I mean, pretty much right? Especially if they're sleeved. I wonder if that's what they were hinting at with Magic30? Those were basically just very expensive proxies
as a returning magic player i think this is awesome and funny and part of why magic is a lot of fun. it'd only be bad if the one piloting the deck doesnt remember every card, cuz if they do i'll just ask them, if not, skill issue
I wish I had the commitment to memorize all of these cards. When someone asks what it does, I could follow along the card with my finger, like I was actually reading it, and then act confused when they say it doesn't say anything.
First video I've watched of yours but also a video that has inspired me to finally stop waiting and try to make some fun mtg videos. Thank you, really!
I'd love seeing this deck on the table. "What does that one do?" "How did this one work, again?" "What's the wording again? Is it targeted?" So many options to counterspite. Even just having an excuse to ask over and over again without being entitled to an answer is still fun.
1. I get it. I love it. 2. The playing card cards were chosen because of their names. Coffin *Queen* Goblin *King* Rankle is the Joker. Jaxis is the Jack. I guess the fACE breaker has Ace in the name???
So here’s my dilemma. I REALLY want to go into a commander game in Tabletop Simulator with this deck. The only problem is that when you load cards from Scryfall, they‘re all their base versions, AND they have their text put on the objects themselves, which means that anyone can just hover over the card and read the text. But I do love the idea.
Another fun thing about glistening elf is that the phyrexian text version is the only version were that creature got the subtype phyrexian attached, so even though you may know what exactly that card looks like in every other print, you would still be wrong in what types it is
I got the poker faces cards for my Mr. House commander deck purely because they’re casino themed and I love making themed decks. But, yeah, this video made me realize I should 100% write down what they actually do for when I actually use them.
This is crazy but somehow the most insane part is when you said "will we able to be cast this many cards without more ramp? let's add Vorinclex, Voice of Hunger to help us with ramping."
It's important to remember that commander is a casual format, so the vast majority of commander games happen at the regular rules enforcement level, where derived information is considered free information, meaning you aren't allowed to omit details from Oracle text.
Something this reminds me of is the fully altered commander deck that was showcased on Rhystic Studies channel in the past. That deck makes the whole "textless" idea cool. This deck is the evil twin version of it.
I haven't played MTG in years now but this video got recommended and got a really good laugh out of me. No idea where the secret layer is, I guess it's some special printings of cards? I've got to say that I always loved the look of Phyrexian Text Elesh Norn, but seeing so many other cards with that feels like it completely dilutes the thing that made it cool in the first place.
Secret Lair is the name for Magic's direct to consumer sales model. Basically, it's their website that sell a limited stock of alt art versions of cards, first come first serve. It's a way of getting around having to include stores in the sales process, and seemingly encourages scalping. It's rough
This is amazing, I honestly wish I had enough money to build it. I would 100% play it, and I might even be able to keep a straight face the entire time.
I did something similar to this with Codie, Vociferous Codex. I run all of the Japanese alt art strixhaven cards, so if you can read Japanese, you're golden, if not, sucks to be you.
i actually started making this deck once (proxy, not paying for that sort). Basically started out by just really loving the bolt and wrath of god full art, and then a intrest in full art cards as a meme. Its shit to be googling your own cards to see what they actually do :D
One thing to note is that at regular REL, which I would assume most sanctioned commander would be played at, derived information is considered free information, so you actually CAN'T omit that information if you take this deck to your local for commander night. You DO in fact have to be able to tell your opponents everything that all of these cards do.
I had no idea there were so many of these. I actually knew of a bunch of them and own a few, but there are many more than I thought. I can recite many of the cards in this deck, but definitely not all of them. The Jedit Ojanen thing was probably the highlight of this video by the way.
That you TH-cam for suggesting me this video in a 3am insomnia haze. I haven't played magic in over 3 years. I hate it. I want to build this deck SO BADLY
![[#2024MAMA] ROSÉ (로제), Bruno Mars - APT. | Mnet 241122 방송](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/dgGqD28J6aQ/mqdefault.jpg)
Reading the card EXPLAINS NOTHING! **evil laugh**
Oh no, The Instructor!
Before I clicked on the video, I thought it'd be full of venturing, tempting, and becoming the monarch, but I like this take on it instead.
this is litterly like a meme, „fuck you, *unreads your card*”
Yeah this is basically spot on. I hate what I've created here
You should somehow get this into shuffle Up and Play
The constant zooming in and pointing to specific lines of text is hilarious through the ENTIRE video.
Ty, ty
Jokes on him because I can actually read Phyrexian
And Elven from LotR?
@@RedBobcatGames I cant but I do know people who can read it, its a legit languange😂
@@RedBobcatGamesSindarin
I love how this deck probably has the same amount of lines of text as a normal deck, purely because of the text on the basics compensating
Ha, yeah I hadn't considered that!
"Today Im going to play a Commander deck with an above average Word count "
tbh it probably has more because most of the phyrexian cards are pretty wordy.
This is probably a stupid Idea, but a EDH deck with the most words possible.
Two minutes in - I think I know which lands you’re going to play
On one hand, you CAN learn to read phyrexian.
On the other hand, you need to be Post Malone.
What a beautiful set of hands that would be
Sam from Rhystic Studies could probably make a deck idea of something this ridiculous
Learning phyrexian makes me want to pull my hair out
Don't you mean Post, son of Rich?
Up coming spoiler: Charlie sld
Wizards: Treat others how you wish to be treated.
Masochists: I'm go to do what is called a pro gamer move.
Haha, excellent
I think you meant *sadomasochist* there Original Commenter.
Oh god, you've turned Magic into English dub accurate Yugioh.
Ha! You're welcome?
Glad you specified English dub lol
Thank you
At least anime characters are legally obliged to explain what their cards do, even when the opponent already knows.
@@yurisei6732 how else would anyone know that pot of greed allows you to draw two cards from the top of your deck?
BUT WHAT DOES POT OF GREED DO????
The full text lands are the absolute cherry on top 😂
Haha, yup
I knew you would include those as soon as i realized what you were going for😂
Bro, i have, like 2 swamps with full text, and a swamp that put back a creature from the grave in the top, so EVERYTIME i put a swamp in thr table, i have to explain if is the full text or the "revive" one.
I was gonna comment a suggestion along the lines of "clearly what this deck needs is the over-explained basic lands, because the only thing better than omitting text that people would really like to read during a game, is including an excessive amount of text for cards that everyone knows the mechanics of."
The fact Bobcat beat me to it makes me very happy.
Now I want to see a full text full deck. Sadly, I don't think those variants have been as jumped on by Hasbeens of the Coast.
"i play ponder, to draw three additional cards from my deck!"
okay, but what does ancestral recall do?
That's not what it does-YES IT IS
@@teddymason6069 That is what is does, draw 3, put two back.
th-cam.com/video/AUnPN385wLI/w-d-xo.htmlsi=7JiyL8Lx_ZrB3Qrp
Okay, this might be one of my favourite comment threads on a video so far. Well played everyone
I love how you still zoom in on where the text would be like that will explain it
ty ty
Goblin King gives ALL other goblins +1/+1 and mountain walk, not just yours. In this deck, I feel like that's better.
Oh wow, I didn't pick up on that. That's actually great!
@@RedBobcatGames I can't believe you missed that despite pointing right at it in the video /s
That is actually hilarious though.
Haha! How could I miss it!
@@RedBobcatGames I mean, according to the rules, you can say that it gives your goblins +1/+1 and mountainwalk, and ommit it also affects your opponent's goblins
You cannot, since it is an effect that changes the game state, and is ergo effected by rule 2, and not the one he went into about oracle text.
ah, but I raise you 3.6 Card Identification and Interpretation--the first three sentences of its second paragraph read:
"Players have the right to request access to the official wording of a card they can describe. That request will be honored if logistically possible. The official text of any card is the Oracle text corresponding to the name of the card."
Can I describe a card? Yes. That one. It could be on you (or a judge, who will be *very* pleased with your deck) to then look up each card and read the oracle text verbatim.
Oh yeah excellent. It's about time someone stuck it to those lazy judges. They've really got it coming haha
That makes a lot more sense. “Cards are considered to have their oracle text” probably means you can’t point at a blank card and pretend it doesn’t have any additional effects.
Yeah, pretty much. Your opponent has a right to know what it does, but you have the right to not tell them. Weird
I have seen judges rule that if a card has no readable text due to being textless or due to being in another language you have to give the full oracle text on request or be penalized
I recall something similar, but I don't remember if it was enforced at all events.
The "full text" lands really sent me over the edge at the end lmao
Haha, thank you thank you
I kinda wish to see this deck on a liveplay show like Shuffle Up and Play...
Oh... oh no... if I ever get invited I couldn't... could I?
@@RedBobcatGamesyou might be able to pitch it to him if the joke is you bring this deck, he brings his Deck of the Future that has stickers and all the most annoying to keep track of mechanics of all time, and the other two players are in the dark that the gimmick of the episode is they are about to get epically trolled by the two of you. Since you don't want to ruin the experience of a celebrity guest, the other players should be either Sam, Spice8Rack, or Pleasant Kenobi, pick two. Or if you want to permanently ingratiate yourself to WotC, make it an episode where he gets Gavin Verhey on the show again and the third player brings some other absolutely evil idea from the company's list of very bad decisions.
(Or, you know, just see if you can find two more aweful deck concepts like these and have a laugh)
@@RedBobcatGames You show up with 4 copies of a cheat sheet, so that everyone playing looks like they're trying to read a script the whole time!
Oh my god, that's actually great. 4 copies of this awful awful deck. I love it
It would be especially great considering the prof’s catch phrase.
im gonna fire up the printer for some good ol fashioned "Fill in the blank" commander. ill just give everyone a marker beforehand and we just make up the cards as we go
Yes! I love it! Please let me know how it goes. I'm very sorry in advance if people become annoyed at you!
And that's the Deck name forevermore. Fill in the Blanks!
Isn't that how a Richard Garfield PhD deck would work anyway?
@@ryangainey94 not really, from how I understand stand it you can just make any 2 mana spell be any other 2 mana spell. Like counter spell into arcane signet. just cus you can
@Shark_Byte_ No no, that card does have one restriction. The new card must have the exact same cost. So any UU card can be a counterspell. But that UU card cannot be an arcane signet because it costs 2
An unreadable deck
As a yugioh player, this is JUST what I need to get into mtg
Ha! Then it's perfect!
best satire i've seen in months. the constant zooming and arrows to non-existent text is the cherry on top that takes this from a kind of funny video to something hilarious
Ah why thank you very much
As the adage goes: commander is broken but we just lie and say it isn’t. Peak commander deck you built, I’m going to need to put one together
Haha, do it. I'd love to see what can top this
You just created the perfect pile for people with dyslexia and the bane of everyone with even more than a percent of OCD. Well done.
Haha, thank you?
GODDAMN IT I had this idea like a year ago and never finished it. I named it based on those clunky SLD precon names: “Reading Is For Losers, Just Guess What The Cards Do”
Hey, it's cool. Finish it anyway, there's enough spite to go round and I'd love to see it!
@@RedBobcatGames oh I for sure will. Thanks for putting me onto those poker face cards, they’re perfect since my deck is Jund
Sick
The fact that I was thinking "Just to mess with people the mana base should be the full rules text lands to make it worse" right before you revealed it, love it. This is the chaos I am here for 😂
You are welcome!
As someone in a pod of yugioh players this deck actually wouldn't change much about anyone's situational awareness. "yugioh players can't read" is a common saying in the community the number of times my opponents have tried to target my saint traft with removal is getting pretty old 😆
Ha, fair
To be fair, if only because of font size and background color: yugioh cards can't be read, so it doesn't really matter whether or not the players can read.
@stevenmcclary534 the implication Is that we have short attention spans and the cards have long text. So we just assume what the opponents cards say the card does is correct and only have a vague notion of what our own cards do. WAe can read the cards we normally choose not to. Explaining the joke and what not.
Reminds me of that guy who ran the Japanese Strixhaven Alt Art for 'Gods Willing' and would just lie about it being other W instants like 'Swords to Plowshares' because the art was ambiguous enough and people wouldn't call him on it.
Apparently that's legal if they don't ask! It's mad!
@RedBobcatGames it's not legal at any REL. That's misrepresentating what a card does and, by virtue of it being done repeatedly, is clearly cheating
Fair. Personally I wouldn't recommend trying to play this deck even casually though if I'm being honest. I hate it!
I was compelled to watch the whole video just to make sure you used the correct basic lands. You did not disappoint!
Ha, glad to be of service
i love the zoom ins where text usually is, so we can read it
That's the best bit to be honest
On the contrary, I think this deck would win every game because your opponents would see the theme develop on-board and immediately scoop. Granted, you'd never be able to play it against the same person twice. I do wonder how the sales for the Poker Face lair went, though. I would have genuinely considered buying it had they been vanilla or french vanilla creatures, but maybe I'm in the minority on that. At least Goblin King might be worth picking up as a single. I'd also like to point out that 5 cards in a playing card theme is a bit of a fumble, I'd like a word with whoever was in charge of this one.
Well there's always the bonus card don't forget. 6 is much better, right?
@@RedBobcatGames If only to soothe the pain of spending a minimum of $30 (before tax and shipping) on 5 other cards that will never see play.
Yup, I have purchased a single Secret Lair in the past, and it was the 10 card land reprint of that sort of rubbish Innistrad cycle in black and white. It wasn't cheap, but when I saw the bonus card was a Forest from Morningtide I vowed never again
I have a phyrexian theme deck with as many of the phyrexian language cards as I could get my hands on, and even at such a low number I still have to get up scryfall up just to be able to know what I'm playing and letting people know what I'm doing
I bet that deck is insane, how fun!
Just learn phyrexian. It is a learnable language, maybe not a read-Out-loud language but a language nonetheless
@nilsuper5293 This is terrible advice and I am here for it. 100% on board.
I am doing the same with a Brimaz, bright of Oreskos.
@@nilsuper5293 oh trust me I am TRYING, would try to speak it too but I don't have enough throat knives or the internal metal scrape plates
I dont play magic and this is madness. Why are there so many cards with fake text and no text. If i saw one of these cards get played i would assume my opponent is trying to fuck with me
I mean, in fairness they would be I suspect
fun fact, actually: the gibberish cards are written in a perfectly readable language... you just need to learn it.
That fact didn't sound like fun! It sounded like a lot of hard work haha
Technically the fake text is legitimate, it’s just in a language invented specifically for Magic
They’re alternate printings of cards that do have text, these are mostly for collector value
Love how you took Jedit Ojanen as an example of a card with unknown text xD
Right? I was wondering how many people would pick up on that
Truth is, the game was rigged from the start.
@@RedBobcatGames I did because I'm reasonably certain I own a copy of his Legends printing somewhere.
@matthewgagnon9426 Oh that's cool. I like the card, so was glad to include it here
now do the opposite: wall of text tribal.
laugh as people regret asking what a card does as they barely contain the information you give them!!!
... or they're patient enough to understand, which counters the premise, but that's few and far between.
Yeesssss... YESSSS! EVERY CARD IS JUST A DIFFERENT COPY OF QUESTING BEAST! YES!
Isnt that basically all modern edh decks?
My 5c legends deck already has almost ten lines of text on every card and to this day I still find new combos
@@actuallyKriminell probably not? I am counting lands as well and most modern deck mana bases have 5-6 lines of text per card at most. so for commander, it'd have to be like all the LOTR lands, the channel lands, and even the flip lands like hostile hostel or hawkin's national laboratory.
and then you do the funny thing and have one card that does the monarchy, one card that takes the initiative, one card that ventures into the dungeon (for the other 3 dungeons) one card with daybound/nightbound, one card with "ring tempts you" and maybe planeswalkers with emblems idk.
then you can add MORE cards to commander as a rule 0. for example, the bounty cards can be added, then planechase cards, then archnemisis cards, and if you want to do this with unsets, add in attractions as well.
I may be missing some extra small things as well, but it'd be a deck that doesn't feel like a 100 card deck.
@@boatghost2543 This sounds so incredibly miserable. Truly a deck for people that are just done with life
I made a sphinx tribal commander deck that turned into that. First match and I began to dread my turn when it arrived, as it'd mean having to scour through the wall of text that was every sphinx creature I had.
I hate that I got to 2:15 before realizing there was something you were trying to tell your audience, but I was unable to parse what it was. I love this video, mind you, I just didn't get the joke until it was WELL into the video.
Ha! Well that still counts. I made sure to lay it on thicker as time went on, but also was a touch worried I was coming off as very mean. I'm glad it still reads as a joke though, so that's good. Thank you for the comment
wotc don't make cards for players anymore, they make them for collectors
Oof, yeah
Anymore?
I think that once they had more consideration for magic as a game
*most* of these textless cards were made 10+ years ago. and idk, i’ve been playing magic very often for like a year and have seen exactly one of these cards ever actually played in a deck
??? These are all alternate versions of cards that already exist, nobody’s forcing you to play these
Honestly, I kinda like full art cards for simple, straightforward effects like rampant growth, path to exile etc...
Cards you don't need to read because they're so iconic don't really need text.
Random flavor of the month legendary creatures that came out 2 sets ago though, let's just have them have an alternate art or something.
100% agreed
Agreed. Like if those poker face secret lairs were vanilla creatures, all the information is still on the card. It's just ambiguous if number and suit means x mana of that color or x of any mana and one of that color. Which is easy enough to memorize
Agreed
@@AbsolXGuardian Just for the record, the number means colourless mana, as Goblin King has two Red suit symbols
@@Dr_Mortis_SCP Ah. See this is a perfect secret layer for vanilla (or even French vanilla, with the keyword just under creature type in the portrait) creatures, just not the creatures they used
1:24 Bro accidentally doxxed himself as Post Malone
My secret is out!
I got so happy when Jedit Ojannen came up and I proudly knew that he did absolutely fucking nothing and that I'm probably one of the few people to know this information instinctively
Yeah, I made a point of that card being the first one I wouldn't even slightly explain. I did wonder how many people would pick up on that
i typically refer to jedit ojanen as the worst card ever printed, but i would totally use it if i had that version. it's the only one that actually makes sense since it doesn't have any text and looks amazing.
Oh I don't know about worst. One With Nothing has to be up there. And some of those old school Phyrexians are all downside. And isn't there a creature from Futuresight that has 0 toughness?
I was so happy too! My cat is named Jedit Ojanen, so I thoroughly know he does nothing. Lol
@klaghzyn8124 Very good!
This may be the most beautiful EDH deck I've ever seen! I wish I didn't dislike that Omnath's art so much, I would actually consider building it T.T
Oh man, you'd have to be very rich. Some of these cards are EXPENSIVE!
Especially One particular card
Clarification on Derived Information: -You can omit stuff, but you can't lie about it.
-At regular rules enforcement level, all Derived information is considered Free.
You can lie about certain things. There's a few cards that even encourage it, especially anything that to do with facedown cards or ones that ask players to vote
@@RedBobcatGames sure, but what the morph card you just played is and what you are thinking of choosing for Trap the Trespassers are private information, not derived.
Ahh, I reread your original comment and yeah. I misunderstood and thought you were saying you couldn't lie in the game at all. My apologies
@@RedBobcatGames Yeah, I think in this case it's more of a "you can't say your Tarmogoyf is a 2/3 when you have four different card types in your graveyard."
It was so much fun trying to remember all of these cards. I knew more than I thought I would.
Incinerate was the first burn spell I ever played from my first ever event, a Pack War for M12. I didn't really understand the second half of it and played it on the only thing on the board and eventually won the game. The guy was so mad but explained it to me in a friendly way. In case anyone asks, it was a Cudgel Troll, which is just a decently-sized green creature for 4 mana. (Wow, that's actually kind of fun to try and do.)
See, this is the issue. I made this deck and even I don't remember what Incinerate does
I knew basically all of the burn spells, because my first deck used most of them at one point (ah, for the days when I did have an encyclopedic knowledge of everything from Zendikar block on. That came to an end around Kaladesh)
Yeah, I'm similar. I don't know cards, but I know the gist of a set and sort of go from there
It's unfortunate there isn't a 5 color textless commander. Cause textless dauthi voidwalker would be great in here
Yeah, but Omanth's not bad with 4. I think. I actually can't remember which version of Omnath it is. Oh god, this is exactly my point
@@RedBobcatGamesthe landfall one (the only one playable in modern right now). On first landfall gain 4 life, on second landfall add X mana (maybe WUBRG? Or is it only 4 mana? Wait, it's not a 5c commander so it can't be WUBRG) and on third landfall deal Y damage (how many?) to a target (what kind? any target or target player?)
@@laytonjr6601 All the Xs are 4 on this omnath. 4 mana 4/4, gsins 4 life, makes 4 mana, deals 4 to (i want to say) any target.
I only remember cause my friend made a number 4 deck with this as the commander where every card had a 4 on it
@@uriel7395 It's 4 damage to each opponent and each Planeswalker you don't control (not that you could ever trigger 3 landfall with this deck).
Searching Omnath on Scryfall gives first the Arena rebalanced version which is 5 mana so I was confused for a second
@@laytonjr6601you forgot about the etb draw a card, landfall 2 is WURG, and landfall 3 is 4 damage to each opponent and each Planeswalker they control
modern player but just getting back into the game this last couple of months and half the people I play against are rocking decks built like this - secret lairs, full arts, foreign language anime promos, new art textless foils. I feels like I need to memorize every card word for word and recognize each of it's 5 variations
Yeah, it got crazy in March of the Machine. Some of the cards in those sets got something like 8 printings. It's mad
I was so naive when I first saw textless cards, the first ones being "path to exile" and "lightning bolt". I remember saying something to the effect of "this is actually a pretty cool idea, giving only some of the most iconic and simple cards a complete full art textless treatment like this".
That's how it starts, and then we get things like Cryptic Command...
this is too cursed and i love it XD (the video, not the cards) i watched the new spice8rack video and left a comment partially regarding this problem and you made a whole commander deck!
Yup, I watched that the other day too and while there's not a massive amount of cross over I feel some of the vibes are similar. It's lined up pretty nicely in terms of timing
I want to see some of the guys from cardmarket or another youtube player group playing those cards on those printings
Oh god. Don't tell them this was my idea! I'll make enemies!
This deck would qualify as a "Cruel and Unusual Punishment"
You are a wicked genius. You earn a sub out of fear. Please spare us all.
NO!
I think 8:19 is an animation error, but I prefer the head cannon that you're dying inside at this deck for just a moment, the color literally drained from your body, before you snap back into character and continue the charade of enthusiasm you have for your definitely-not-a-crime-against-humanity monstrosity of a deck.
Comment of the day award nominee
Haha, that's weird. I'll look into it, probably just an error. Thank you
Reminder: Goblin King gives ALL goblins +1/+1 and mountainwalk I did not remember
Yeah, I had the cards in front of me on the screen and even I didn't remember. This deck sucks
@@RedBobcatGames Well I can’t forget it’s effect now after playing The Master Transcendent I need one creature to survive the goblin onslaught from my opponent and win on the crack back. My opponent milled a goblin king from radiation and I was happy for 5 seconds.
Haha, fair
Coffin Queen is in my Gisa and Geralf Zombie deck, so I did have it memorized!
Ahhh, okay. So YOU'RE the one?
This is maybe my favoret Gimik deck ever, could you include the decklist I would love to proxy this (and many add in the full-text lands just for the irony)
Errrr, yes? If I can figure out an easy way to do it? If I get a chance tomorrow (and I remember) I'll make a free page on my Patreon that's a list of the cards
Bro just learn phyrexian
Oh yeah? Easy as that. Should be a snap once I've figured out Elvish from LotR. (I say this jokingly, but I know there will be people who have learned both those languages for real)
While the video is excellent, i'm more impressed that you've been responding to seemingly every single comment. Really shows how much you care and enjoy your community.
Do you know how much I had to fight the urge to not reply to this? Every comedic fiber of my being wanted to leave this as the one comment that I don't respond to. But thank you, it's appriciated
i had a very similar deck idea and the full text lands make people giggle every time, great vid
Thank you!
Someone has GOT to get someone that doesn't know mutch magic to react to this!
Haha, that's just evil. So I feel it fits the theme of the deck. I love it
I hate all of this. I don't know most of these cards by heart. I hate that this exists. I am tilted just watching this.
Well done :)
Haha, thank you! I also hate this!
Reminds me of the commander deck consisting of only DFC reminder cards
As you may have guessed from basically any of my vidoes, I love Innistrad. I have two of those decks you just mentioned, and I'm working on a third!
god I ABSOLUTELY share the bitter rage you expressed here. what a nightmare deck. I DID giggle with unbridled glee every time you zoomed in on the "text boxes" of all those textless cards.
Haha, thank you!
I had the same idea for a deck!! Super happy to see that someone’s done all the work for me 😂❤ I had another idea to make a deck with cards that were still in English but just a pain in the ass to read like poster cards! Much love!
To be honest "pain to read" secret lairs was sort of where this deck started in my brain, and then...
I love all of the Red Bobcat vidoes
Thank you, I love all of your comments!
This is fantastic in all the right ways
Haha! Really? God, I'm so annoyed at this deck. And I'm the one that made it
@@RedBobcatGames listen, I'm a control player. There is a finite amount of fun to be had in a game of magic and I'm trying to have it all
Fair!
I feel like this guy is what happens after Yahtzee lost the rights to the little imps on zero punctuation, and now the imps are doing their own channels.
Nonsense TH-camr headcanon aside, this deck idea is hilarious, and looks incredibly tedious to play. Excellent job. XD
Ha! Those rumours that I'm anything more than a Bobcat were unfounded and proven to be untrue. Please don't ask any more questions!
I’ve never evilly cackled through the entirety of a video before but you did it you mad lad. Cheers!
ty ty
I was also very happy to see the full text basic lands as well
Yeah, they felt appropriate
they should alowe me to play with art cards at this point 😔 there is no difference
I mean, pretty much right? Especially if they're sleeved. I wonder if that's what they were hinting at with Magic30? Those were basically just very expensive proxies
as a returning magic player i think this is awesome and funny and part of why magic is a lot of fun. it'd only be bad if the one piloting the deck doesnt remember every card, cuz if they do i'll just ask them, if not, skill issue
I mean, that would 100% totally be me. I made the deck and I've already forgotten what most of the cards do haha
No credit to the person that actually made this is yikes
Well, no. I guess I didn't feel the need. But I did link their Patreon in the videos description
I wish I had the commitment to memorize all of these cards. When someone asks what it does, I could follow along the card with my finger, like I was actually reading it, and then act confused when they say it doesn't say anything.
Ha! That's basically the most fun way to engage with this awful awful deck
This video is pure gold haha, good job documenting all that
Thank you, thank you
Now we need some madlad to come in and put captions on the entire video of all the text that would have been on the cards
Haha, I support this. If it wasn't just me making these, captions would literally be the first thing I'd ask someone else to do
First video I've watched of yours but also a video that has inspired me to finally stop waiting and try to make some fun mtg videos. Thank you, really!
AYYY! That's so cool! Go for it and good luck!
@@RedBobcatGames I'll try my damn best. Thanks again!!
No worries, and thank you for your upcoming vids! I wish you all the luck!
Great video, so comprehensible! Great to see that your last two vids are doing numbers well deserved.
Oh why thank you very much. Yeah, I just hope I don't become known in the community as "That guy that makes the awful decks everyone hates" haha
5:14 is how most people will feel at the table when you forget what over half your cards do
Only half? I made the video and I'm not sure I could tell you what most of them do haha
I love how you zoom in and put arrows at the 'text' to help explain what these cards do.
Well I wouldn't want people to be confused to what a card does
True full arts only really worked on lands but now decks are looking more like art museums than things with functional text!
To be honestly, even then I think full art lands should have only been in Zenidarr sets personally
I'd love seeing this deck on the table. "What does that one do?" "How did this one work, again?" "What's the wording again? Is it targeted?" So many options to counterspite. Even just having an excuse to ask over and over again without being entitled to an answer is still fun.
Oh yeah, this would be miserable to play for everyone involved for sure
The four arrows on cryptic command are just hilarious
Ah why thank you very much
1. I get it. I love it.
2. The playing card cards were chosen because of their names. Coffin *Queen*
Goblin *King*
Rankle is the Joker.
Jaxis is the Jack.
I guess the fACE breaker has Ace in the name???
Oh my god. OH MY GOD! YOU'RE RIGHT! And they added fACE breaker!?!? That's somehow worse than this entire deck!
So here’s my dilemma. I REALLY want to go into a commander game in Tabletop Simulator with this deck. The only problem is that when you load cards from Scryfall, they‘re all their base versions, AND they have their text put on the objects themselves, which means that anyone can just hover over the card and read the text. But I do love the idea.
It would mean saving an image file of every card, but could you load them as custom objects?
When you said “we have the one ring” I knew this was gonna be a good video
Just a cool couple of mil. No biggie haha
Another fun thing about glistening elf is that the phyrexian text version is the only version were that creature got the subtype phyrexian attached, so even though you may know what exactly that card looks like in every other print, you would still be wrong in what types it is
Oh that is fun!
I got the poker faces cards for my Mr. House commander deck purely because they’re casino themed and I love making themed decks. But, yeah, this video made me realize I should 100% write down what they actually do for when I actually use them.
I mean, that's a cool idea though to be fair. See, now I'd be annoyed if they didn't print more cards like this just so you can complete the deck
@@RedBobcatGamesSomeone at my lgs was talking about this deck with people and started buying cards to make it irl lol
This is crazy but somehow the most insane part is when you said "will we able to be cast this many cards without more ramp? let's add Vorinclex, Voice of Hunger to help us with ramping."
I mean, to be honest I think this entire video was insane
It's important to remember that commander is a casual format, so the vast majority of commander games happen at the regular rules enforcement level, where derived information is considered free information, meaning you aren't allowed to omit details from Oracle text.
Well, in a casual game who's going to enforce that rule though?
12:50 the mana base can be improved, use the innestrad basic so your opponent can only see you tapping different shades of grey and black.
I actually have an idea to go even further. Cooking that over in my brain for another video
Something this reminds me of is the fully altered commander deck that was showcased on Rhystic Studies channel in the past. That deck makes the whole "textless" idea cool. This deck is the evil twin version of it.
Ha! I'm going to take that as a compliment!
Priceless. Loved ever bit of this video.
Chef's kiss!
I laughed so hard all the way through.
Yes, MtG tourney rules are pretty crappy.
Haha, thank you. And agreed
I haven't played MTG in years now but this video got recommended and got a really good laugh out of me. No idea where the secret layer is, I guess it's some special printings of cards?
I've got to say that I always loved the look of Phyrexian Text Elesh Norn, but seeing so many other cards with that feels like it completely dilutes the thing that made it cool in the first place.
Secret Lair is the name for Magic's direct to consumer sales model. Basically, it's their website that sell a limited stock of alt art versions of cards, first come first serve. It's a way of getting around having to include stores in the sales process, and seemingly encourages scalping. It's rough
This is amazing, I honestly wish I had enough money to build it. I would 100% play it, and I might even be able to keep a straight face the entire time.
This deck is crazy expensive. If you want to play it, proxies are the way to go. And then don't play it because it would be awful!
The end bit of just using Full-Text lands is glorious to me. I was laughing so hard I got a stitch. A masterclass.
Ah, why thank you
Honestly, having the lands, things that are usually no longer printed with any text, being fully covered in a brick wall of rules text is so funny
And it makes that Dryad Arbor stand out which is a fun side effect too
I did something similar to this with Codie, Vociferous Codex. I run all of the Japanese alt art strixhaven cards, so if you can read Japanese, you're golden, if not, sucks to be you.
That's interesting. There's lots of ways to do it. They've even printed some more textless ones now too
i actually started making this deck once (proxy, not paying for that sort). Basically started out by just really loving the bolt and wrath of god full art, and then a intrest in full art cards as a meme.
Its shit to be googling your own cards to see what they actually do :D
Oh yeah, 100%. This deck is terrible
I now have a deep, burning desire to see the guys from Card Market sit down to a “casual” commander game and Toffel whips this out.
I think that's a bad idea, but weirdly I would watch that
As someone who was ready to learn about magic this video helped greatly. Thank you sm❤
You are welcome!
I haven’t played magic in probably 10 years, not only have I not memorized the cards you show, I’ve never seen them period 😅
And yet they just keep printing them! It's mad!
this is one of the best mtg skits i've seen on youtube this is amazing
Why thank you!
One thing to note is that at regular REL, which I would assume most sanctioned commander would be played at, derived information is considered free information, so you actually CAN'T omit that information if you take this deck to your local for commander night. You DO in fact have to be able to tell your opponents everything that all of these cards do.
Yeah I wouldn't recommend playing this deck... well anywhere to be honest. Not even casually, I hate it
I'm still waiting for some more phyrexian text cards, I'm definitely going to build a full phyrexian deck
One day
I really love how you used Jedit Ojanen as the example when going over the rules saying you don't have to give all the info.
Ha, thank you, thank you!
Thanks for creating an essay on my issues with these cards.
You're welcome haha
This deck is another one of those absolute art pieces, thank you!
You are more than welcome
I had no idea there were so many of these. I actually knew of a bunch of them and own a few, but there are many more than I thought.
I can recite many of the cards in this deck, but definitely not all of them.
The Jedit Ojanen thing was probably the highlight of this video by the way.
Haha, thank you. And this deck didn't even include any of the black cards!
That you TH-cam for suggesting me this video in a 3am insomnia haze. I haven't played magic in over 3 years. I hate it. I want to build this deck SO BADLY
And it's this that made you want to come back? Well, maybe this deck isn't all bad then