Bro, i have, like 2 swamps with full text, and a swamp that put back a creature from the grave in the top, so EVERYTIME i put a swamp in thr table, i have to explain if is the full text or the "revive" one.
I was gonna comment a suggestion along the lines of "clearly what this deck needs is the over-explained basic lands, because the only thing better than omitting text that people would really like to read during a game, is including an excessive amount of text for cards that everyone knows the mechanics of." The fact Bobcat beat me to it makes me very happy.
@@RedBobcatGames I mean, according to the rules, you can say that it gives your goblins +1/+1 and mountainwalk, and ommit it also affects your opponent's goblins
best satire i've seen in months. the constant zooming and arrows to non-existent text is the cherry on top that takes this from a kind of funny video to something hilarious
GODDAMN IT I had this idea like a year ago and never finished it. I named it based on those clunky SLD precon names: “Reading Is For Losers, Just Guess What The Cards Do”
The fact that I was thinking "Just to mess with people the mana base should be the full rules text lands to make it worse" right before you revealed it, love it. This is the chaos I am here for 😂
As someone in a pod of yugioh players this deck actually wouldn't change much about anyone's situational awareness. "yugioh players can't read" is a common saying in the community the number of times my opponents have tried to target my saint traft with removal is getting pretty old 😆
To be fair, if only because of font size and background color: yugioh cards can't be read, so it doesn't really matter whether or not the players can read.
@stevenmcclary534 the implication Is that we have short attention spans and the cards have long text. So we just assume what the opponents cards say the card does is correct and only have a vague notion of what our own cards do. WAe can read the cards we normally choose not to. Explaining the joke and what not.
On the contrary, I think this deck would win every game because your opponents would see the theme develop on-board and immediately scoop. Granted, you'd never be able to play it against the same person twice. I do wonder how the sales for the Poker Face lair went, though. I would have genuinely considered buying it had they been vanilla or french vanilla creatures, but maybe I'm in the minority on that. At least Goblin King might be worth picking up as a single. I'd also like to point out that 5 cards in a playing card theme is a bit of a fumble, I'd like a word with whoever was in charge of this one.
Yup, I have purchased a single Secret Lair in the past, and it was the 10 card land reprint of that sort of rubbish Innistrad cycle in black and white. It wasn't cheap, but when I saw the bonus card was a Forest from Morningtide I vowed never again
Reminds me of that guy who ran the Japanese Strixhaven Alt Art for 'Gods Willing' and would just lie about it being other W instants like 'Swords to Plowshares' because the art was ambiguous enough and people wouldn't call him on it.
*most* of these textless cards were made 10+ years ago. and idk, i’ve been playing magic very often for like a year and have seen exactly one of these cards ever actually played in a deck
I dont play magic and this is madness. Why are there so many cards with fake text and no text. If i saw one of these cards get played i would assume my opponent is trying to fuck with me
I have a phyrexian theme deck with as many of the phyrexian language cards as I could get my hands on, and even at such a low number I still have to get up scryfall up just to be able to know what I'm playing and letting people know what I'm doing
I got so happy when Jedit Ojannen came up and I proudly knew that he did absolutely fucking nothing and that I'm probably one of the few people to know this information instinctively
i typically refer to jedit ojanen as the worst card ever printed, but i would totally use it if i had that version. it's the only one that actually makes sense since it doesn't have any text and looks amazing.
Oh I don't know about worst. One With Nothing has to be up there. And some of those old school Phyrexians are all downside. And isn't there a creature from Futuresight that has 0 toughness?
Honestly, I kinda like full art cards for simple, straightforward effects like rampant growth, path to exile etc... Cards you don't need to read because they're so iconic don't really need text. Random flavor of the month legendary creatures that came out 2 sets ago though, let's just have them have an alternate art or something.
Agreed. Like if those poker face secret lairs were vanilla creatures, all the information is still on the card. It's just ambiguous if number and suit means x mana of that color or x of any mana and one of that color. Which is easy enough to memorize
@@Dr_Mortis_SCP Ah. See this is a perfect secret layer for vanilla (or even French vanilla, with the keyword just under creature type in the portrait) creatures, just not the creatures they used
I hate that I got to 2:15 before realizing there was something you were trying to tell your audience, but I was unable to parse what it was. I love this video, mind you, I just didn't get the joke until it was WELL into the video.
Ha! Well that still counts. I made sure to lay it on thicker as time went on, but also was a touch worried I was coming off as very mean. I'm glad it still reads as a joke though, so that's good. Thank you for the comment
modern player but just getting back into the game this last couple of months and half the people I play against are rocking decks built like this - secret lairs, full arts, foreign language anime promos, new art textless foils. I feels like I need to memorize every card word for word and recognize each of it's 5 variations
@@RedBobcatGames Well I can’t forget it’s effect now after playing The Master Transcendent I need one creature to survive the goblin onslaught from my opponent and win on the crack back. My opponent milled a goblin king from radiation and I was happy for 5 seconds.
I think 8:19 is an animation error, but I prefer the head cannon that you're dying inside at this deck for just a moment, the color literally drained from your body, before you snap back into character and continue the charade of enthusiasm you have for your definitely-not-a-crime-against-humanity monstrosity of a deck.
This is maybe my favoret Gimik deck ever, could you include the decklist I would love to proxy this (and many add in the full-text lands just for the irony)
Errrr, yes? If I can figure out an easy way to do it? If I get a chance tomorrow (and I remember) I'll make a free page on my Patreon that's a list of the cards
This is amazing, I honestly wish I had enough money to build it. I would 100% play it, and I might even be able to keep a straight face the entire time.
I feel like this guy is what happens after Yahtzee lost the rights to the little imps on zero punctuation, and now the imps are doing their own channels. Nonsense TH-camr headcanon aside, this deck idea is hilarious, and looks incredibly tedious to play. Excellent job. XD
While the video is excellent, i'm more impressed that you've been responding to seemingly every single comment. Really shows how much you care and enjoy your community.
Do you know how much I had to fight the urge to not reply to this? Every comedic fiber of my being wanted to leave this as the one comment that I don't respond to. But thank you, it's appriciated
as a returning magic player i think this is awesome and funny and part of why magic is a lot of fun. it'd only be bad if the one piloting the deck doesnt remember every card, cuz if they do i'll just ask them, if not, skill issue
I am seriously thinking of bringing this to a tournament to make a point. I mean, the creature/land changed the rule set for card placement. This will be a solid option if they keep this up.
It's important to remember that commander is a casual format, so the vast majority of commander games happen at the regular rules enforcement level, where derived information is considered free information, meaning you aren't allowed to omit details from Oracle text.
I love that the only cards with legible text, ignoring any Phyrexian among us, are lands which most people would be able to understand without any words
That's cool, but may I instead suggest an entire ring binder with only 1 copy of each card per page, for maximum flipping whilst trying to find the card
god I ABSOLUTELY share the bitter rage you expressed here. what a nightmare deck. I DID giggle with unbridled glee every time you zoomed in on the "text boxes" of all those textless cards.
So here’s my dilemma. I REALLY want to go into a commander game in Tabletop Simulator with this deck. The only problem is that when you load cards from Scryfall, they‘re all their base versions, AND they have their text put on the objects themselves, which means that anyone can just hover over the card and read the text. But I do love the idea.
Another fun thing about glistening elf is that the phyrexian text version is the only version were that creature got the subtype phyrexian attached, so even though you may know what exactly that card looks like in every other print, you would still be wrong in what types it is
That you TH-cam for suggesting me this video in a 3am insomnia haze. I haven't played magic in over 3 years. I hate it. I want to build this deck SO BADLY
The great thing about this deck is you just have to survive the first few turns until at some point you can just invent effects for lesser known cards and your opponent will just want to get over it and accept it.
"Yeah, sorry. You mill exile the top half of your deck and I can play those cards without paying their mana cost. Yeah, Ponder's pretty good, yeah. Don't look it up"
I haven't played MTG in years now but this video got recommended and got a really good laugh out of me. No idea where the secret layer is, I guess it's some special printings of cards? I've got to say that I always loved the look of Phyrexian Text Elesh Norn, but seeing so many other cards with that feels like it completely dilutes the thing that made it cool in the first place.
Secret Lair is the name for Magic's direct to consumer sales model. Basically, it's their website that sell a limited stock of alt art versions of cards, first come first serve. It's a way of getting around having to include stores in the sales process, and seemingly encourages scalping. It's rough
I already thought a lot of the cards were hilarious, but I lost it at the basic lands with a whole ass paragraph of text on how basic lands work, this is a work of art, art is supposed to awaken emotions in the person facing the art, which this deck clearly achieves.
Another option for basics to fit this theme are the black and white midnight hunt lands. They are hard to read even if they are on your side of the table.
I got the poker faces cards for my Mr. House commander deck purely because they’re casino themed and I love making themed decks. But, yeah, this video made me realize I should 100% write down what they actually do for when I actually use them.
This is "Inside Joke" the deck. You only get it if you are in the joke, otherwise it's jibberish and you feel left out. The whole thing is a cheeky inside joke. My friend went out of his way to find as many cards with bricks of text to play, and you went the opposite route. I literally asked if this kind of thing was possible. What an incredible video
What i love about the lands is that for the first 60 cards, it's 100% obvious what they do. But this mountain, wtf does it do, I need to read the text.
The first Grand Prix that I ever attended was when 'Merica control became rather popular due to Jayce Mind-Scultor being unbanned. I played against a version of the deck that ran 4 textless copies of Cryptic, 2 textless wrath in mainboard, and some amount of textless Negate, I don't remember how many. My opponent refused to elaborate on what the textless cards did unless I called a judge to explain the oracle text. That was also my first time seeing cryptic, as my local meta didn't really play control very much at the time, as aggro was way more popular prior to the Jayce unban. I don't think I have ever had less fun playing against anybody at any point in my 15 years of playing MTG.
I did, in fact, know what Coffin Queen does simply because I've got a copy that I keep looking at for decks but never quite finding a home for. That, and she's really funny.
I spent a good two thirds of this video hoping I'd see those full-text lands, you glorious monster. Using them probably brought the deck back up to the correct per-deck average total lines of rules text.
I played like, 3 games of MTG back in the 2000s and barely understood what I was doing. This video has left me feeling like you somehow stole what MTG knowledge I had like some kind of mind lich. Wonderful video.
The real big brain play is to play goblin king on like turn 9 and say it anthems all your goblins. This will inflict massive psychological damage on your opponents as they try to remember all of the no goblins on your board.
Reading the card EXPLAINS NOTHING! **evil laugh**
Oh no, The Instructor!
Before I clicked on the video, I thought it'd be full of venturing, tempting, and becoming the monarch, but I like this take on it instead.
this is litterly like a meme, „fuck you, *unreads your card*”
Yeah this is basically spot on. I hate what I've created here
You should somehow get this into shuffle Up and Play
The constant zooming in and pointing to specific lines of text is hilarious through the ENTIRE video.
Ty, ty
Jokes on him because I can actually read Phyrexian
And Elven from LotR?
@@RedBobcatGames I cant but I do know people who can read it, its a legit languange😂
@@RedBobcatGamesSindarin
I love how this deck probably has the same amount of lines of text as a normal deck, purely because of the text on the basics compensating
Ha, yeah I hadn't considered that!
"Today Im going to play a Commander deck with an above average Word count "
tbh it probably has more because most of the phyrexian cards are pretty wordy.
This is probably a stupid Idea, but a EDH deck with the most words possible.
Two minutes in - I think I know which lands you’re going to play
Oh god, you've turned Magic into English dub accurate Yugioh.
Ha! You're welcome?
Glad you specified English dub lol
Thank you
At least anime characters are legally obliged to explain what their cards do, even when the opponent already knows.
@@yurisei6732 how else would anyone know that pot of greed allows you to draw two cards from the top of your deck?
BUT WHAT DOES POT OF GREED DO????
The full text lands are the absolute cherry on top 😂
Haha, yup
I knew you would include those as soon as i realized what you were going for😂
Bro, i have, like 2 swamps with full text, and a swamp that put back a creature from the grave in the top, so EVERYTIME i put a swamp in thr table, i have to explain if is the full text or the "revive" one.
I was gonna comment a suggestion along the lines of "clearly what this deck needs is the over-explained basic lands, because the only thing better than omitting text that people would really like to read during a game, is including an excessive amount of text for cards that everyone knows the mechanics of."
The fact Bobcat beat me to it makes me very happy.
Now I want to see a full text full deck. Sadly, I don't think those variants have been as jumped on by Hasbeens of the Coast.
Goblin King gives ALL other goblins +1/+1 and mountain walk, not just yours. In this deck, I feel like that's better.
Oh wow, I didn't pick up on that. That's actually great!
@@RedBobcatGames I can't believe you missed that despite pointing right at it in the video /s
That is actually hilarious though.
Haha! How could I miss it!
@@RedBobcatGames I mean, according to the rules, you can say that it gives your goblins +1/+1 and mountainwalk, and ommit it also affects your opponent's goblins
You cannot, since it is an effect that changes the game state, and is ergo effected by rule 2, and not the one he went into about oracle text.
I love how you still zoom in on where the text would be like that will explain it
ty ty
"i play ponder, to draw three additional cards from my deck!"
okay, but what does ancestral recall do?
That's not what it does-YES IT IS
@@teddymason6069 That is what is does, draw 3, put two back.
th-cam.com/video/AUnPN385wLI/w-d-xo.htmlsi=7JiyL8Lx_ZrB3Qrp
Okay, this might be one of my favourite comment threads on a video so far. Well played everyone
The "full text" lands really sent me over the edge at the end lmao
Haha, thank you thank you
best satire i've seen in months. the constant zooming and arrows to non-existent text is the cherry on top that takes this from a kind of funny video to something hilarious
Ah why thank you very much
GODDAMN IT I had this idea like a year ago and never finished it. I named it based on those clunky SLD precon names: “Reading Is For Losers, Just Guess What The Cards Do”
Hey, it's cool. Finish it anyway, there's enough spite to go round and I'd love to see it!
@@RedBobcatGames oh I for sure will. Thanks for putting me onto those poker face cards, they’re perfect since my deck is Jund
Sick
An unreadable deck
As a yugioh player, this is JUST what I need to get into mtg
Ha! Then it's perfect!
You just created the perfect pile for people with dyslexia and the bane of everyone with even more than a percent of OCD. Well done.
Haha, thank you?
As the adage goes: commander is broken but we just lie and say it isn’t. Peak commander deck you built, I’m going to need to put one together
Haha, do it. I'd love to see what can top this
1:24 Bro accidentally doxxed himself as Post Malone
My secret is out!
The fact that I was thinking "Just to mess with people the mana base should be the full rules text lands to make it worse" right before you revealed it, love it. This is the chaos I am here for 😂
You are welcome!
As someone in a pod of yugioh players this deck actually wouldn't change much about anyone's situational awareness. "yugioh players can't read" is a common saying in the community the number of times my opponents have tried to target my saint traft with removal is getting pretty old 😆
Ha, fair
To be fair, if only because of font size and background color: yugioh cards can't be read, so it doesn't really matter whether or not the players can read.
@stevenmcclary534 the implication Is that we have short attention spans and the cards have long text. So we just assume what the opponents cards say the card does is correct and only have a vague notion of what our own cards do. WAe can read the cards we normally choose not to. Explaining the joke and what not.
On the contrary, I think this deck would win every game because your opponents would see the theme develop on-board and immediately scoop. Granted, you'd never be able to play it against the same person twice. I do wonder how the sales for the Poker Face lair went, though. I would have genuinely considered buying it had they been vanilla or french vanilla creatures, but maybe I'm in the minority on that. At least Goblin King might be worth picking up as a single. I'd also like to point out that 5 cards in a playing card theme is a bit of a fumble, I'd like a word with whoever was in charge of this one.
Well there's always the bonus card don't forget. 6 is much better, right?
@@RedBobcatGames If only to soothe the pain of spending a minimum of $30 (before tax and shipping) on 5 other cards that will never see play.
Yup, I have purchased a single Secret Lair in the past, and it was the 10 card land reprint of that sort of rubbish Innistrad cycle in black and white. It wasn't cheap, but when I saw the bonus card was a Forest from Morningtide I vowed never again
Reminds me of that guy who ran the Japanese Strixhaven Alt Art for 'Gods Willing' and would just lie about it being other W instants like 'Swords to Plowshares' because the art was ambiguous enough and people wouldn't call him on it.
Apparently that's legal if they don't ask! It's mad!
@RedBobcatGames it's not legal at any REL. That's misrepresentating what a card does and, by virtue of it being done repeatedly, is clearly cheating
Fair. Personally I wouldn't recommend trying to play this deck even casually though if I'm being honest. I hate it!
Love how you took Jedit Ojanen as an example of a card with unknown text xD
Right? I was wondering how many people would pick up on that
Truth is, the game was rigged from the start.
@@RedBobcatGames I did because I'm reasonably certain I own a copy of his Legends printing somewhere.
@matthewgagnon9426 Oh that's cool. I like the card, so was glad to include it here
wotc don't make cards for players anymore, they make them for collectors
Oof, yeah
Anymore?
I think that once they had more consideration for magic as a game
*most* of these textless cards were made 10+ years ago. and idk, i’ve been playing magic very often for like a year and have seen exactly one of these cards ever actually played in a deck
??? These are all alternate versions of cards that already exist, nobody’s forcing you to play these
i love the zoom ins where text usually is, so we can read it
That's the best bit to be honest
I dont play magic and this is madness. Why are there so many cards with fake text and no text. If i saw one of these cards get played i would assume my opponent is trying to fuck with me
I mean, in fairness they would be I suspect
fun fact, actually: the gibberish cards are written in a perfectly readable language... you just need to learn it.
That fact didn't sound like fun! It sounded like a lot of hard work haha
Technically the fake text is legitimate, it’s just in a language invented specifically for Magic
They’re alternate printings of cards that do have text, these are mostly for collector value
I have a phyrexian theme deck with as many of the phyrexian language cards as I could get my hands on, and even at such a low number I still have to get up scryfall up just to be able to know what I'm playing and letting people know what I'm doing
I bet that deck is insane, how fun!
Just learn phyrexian. It is a learnable language, maybe not a read-Out-loud language but a language nonetheless
@nilsuper5293 This is terrible advice and I am here for it. 100% on board.
I am doing the same with a Brimaz, bright of Oreskos.
@@nilsuper5293 oh trust me I am TRYING, would try to speak it too but I don't have enough throat knives or the internal metal scrape plates
I got so happy when Jedit Ojannen came up and I proudly knew that he did absolutely fucking nothing and that I'm probably one of the few people to know this information instinctively
Yeah, I made a point of that card being the first one I wouldn't even slightly explain. I did wonder how many people would pick up on that
i typically refer to jedit ojanen as the worst card ever printed, but i would totally use it if i had that version. it's the only one that actually makes sense since it doesn't have any text and looks amazing.
Oh I don't know about worst. One With Nothing has to be up there. And some of those old school Phyrexians are all downside. And isn't there a creature from Futuresight that has 0 toughness?
I was so happy too! My cat is named Jedit Ojanen, so I thoroughly know he does nothing. Lol
@klaghzyn8124 Very good!
I was compelled to watch the whole video just to make sure you used the correct basic lands. You did not disappoint!
Ha, glad to be of service
Honestly, I kinda like full art cards for simple, straightforward effects like rampant growth, path to exile etc...
Cards you don't need to read because they're so iconic don't really need text.
Random flavor of the month legendary creatures that came out 2 sets ago though, let's just have them have an alternate art or something.
100% agreed
Agreed. Like if those poker face secret lairs were vanilla creatures, all the information is still on the card. It's just ambiguous if number and suit means x mana of that color or x of any mana and one of that color. Which is easy enough to memorize
Agreed
@@AbsolXGuardian Just for the record, the number means colourless mana, as Goblin King has two Red suit symbols
@@Dr_Mortis_SCP Ah. See this is a perfect secret layer for vanilla (or even French vanilla, with the keyword just under creature type in the portrait) creatures, just not the creatures they used
This may be the most beautiful EDH deck I've ever seen! I wish I didn't dislike that Omnath's art so much, I would actually consider building it T.T
Oh man, you'd have to be very rich. Some of these cards are EXPENSIVE!
Especially One particular card
I hate that I got to 2:15 before realizing there was something you were trying to tell your audience, but I was unable to parse what it was. I love this video, mind you, I just didn't get the joke until it was WELL into the video.
Ha! Well that still counts. I made sure to lay it on thicker as time went on, but also was a touch worried I was coming off as very mean. I'm glad it still reads as a joke though, so that's good. Thank you for the comment
modern player but just getting back into the game this last couple of months and half the people I play against are rocking decks built like this - secret lairs, full arts, foreign language anime promos, new art textless foils. I feels like I need to memorize every card word for word and recognize each of it's 5 variations
Yeah, it got crazy in March of the Machine. Some of the cards in those sets got something like 8 printings. It's mad
Reminder: Goblin King gives ALL goblins +1/+1 and mountainwalk I did not remember
Yeah, I had the cards in front of me on the screen and even I didn't remember. This deck sucks
@@RedBobcatGames Well I can’t forget it’s effect now after playing The Master Transcendent I need one creature to survive the goblin onslaught from my opponent and win on the crack back. My opponent milled a goblin king from radiation and I was happy for 5 seconds.
Haha, fair
I want to see some of the guys from cardmarket or another youtube player group playing those cards on those printings
Oh god. Don't tell them this was my idea! I'll make enemies!
I think 8:19 is an animation error, but I prefer the head cannon that you're dying inside at this deck for just a moment, the color literally drained from your body, before you snap back into character and continue the charade of enthusiasm you have for your definitely-not-a-crime-against-humanity monstrosity of a deck.
Comment of the day award nominee
Haha, that's weird. I'll look into it, probably just an error. Thank you
This is maybe my favoret Gimik deck ever, could you include the decklist I would love to proxy this (and many add in the full-text lands just for the irony)
Errrr, yes? If I can figure out an easy way to do it? If I get a chance tomorrow (and I remember) I'll make a free page on my Patreon that's a list of the cards
True full arts only really worked on lands but now decks are looking more like art museums than things with functional text!
To be honestly, even then I think full art lands should have only been in Zenidarr sets personally
I haven’t played magic in probably 10 years, not only have I not memorized the cards you show, I’ve never seen them period 😅
And yet they just keep printing them! It's mad!
Reminds me of the commander deck consisting of only DFC reminder cards
As you may have guessed from basically any of my vidoes, I love Innistrad. I have two of those decks you just mentioned, and I'm working on a third!
Someone has GOT to get someone that doesn't know mutch magic to react to this!
Haha, that's just evil. So I feel it fits the theme of the deck. I love it
5:14 is how most people will feel at the table when you forget what over half your cards do
Only half? I made the video and I'm not sure I could tell you what most of them do haha
This is amazing, I honestly wish I had enough money to build it. I would 100% play it, and I might even be able to keep a straight face the entire time.
This deck is crazy expensive. If you want to play it, proxies are the way to go. And then don't play it because it would be awful!
This deck would qualify as a "Cruel and Unusual Punishment"
You are a wicked genius. You earn a sub out of fear. Please spare us all.
NO!
When you said “we have the one ring” I knew this was gonna be a good video
Just a cool couple of mil. No biggie haha
I feel like this guy is what happens after Yahtzee lost the rights to the little imps on zero punctuation, and now the imps are doing their own channels.
Nonsense TH-camr headcanon aside, this deck idea is hilarious, and looks incredibly tedious to play. Excellent job. XD
Ha! Those rumours that I'm anything more than a Bobcat were unfounded and proven to be untrue. Please don't ask any more questions!
I love all of the Red Bobcat vidoes
Thank you, I love all of your comments!
i had a very similar deck idea and the full text lands make people giggle every time, great vid
Thank you!
While the video is excellent, i'm more impressed that you've been responding to seemingly every single comment. Really shows how much you care and enjoy your community.
Do you know how much I had to fight the urge to not reply to this? Every comedic fiber of my being wanted to leave this as the one comment that I don't respond to. But thank you, it's appriciated
as a returning magic player i think this is awesome and funny and part of why magic is a lot of fun. it'd only be bad if the one piloting the deck doesnt remember every card, cuz if they do i'll just ask them, if not, skill issue
I mean, that would 100% totally be me. I made the deck and I've already forgotten what most of the cards do haha
No credit to the person that actually made this is yikes
Well, no. I guess I didn't feel the need. But I did link their Patreon in the videos description
I am seriously thinking of bringing this to a tournament to make a point. I mean, the creature/land changed the rule set for card placement. This will be a solid option if they keep this up.
I mean, good luck! People will be mad, but if it stops WotC printing cards we can't read then it'll have done some good in the game
Thanks for creating an essay on my issues with these cards.
You're welcome haha
It's important to remember that commander is a casual format, so the vast majority of commander games happen at the regular rules enforcement level, where derived information is considered free information, meaning you aren't allowed to omit details from Oracle text.
Well, in a casual game who's going to enforce that rule though?
The four arrows on cryptic command are just hilarious
Ah why thank you very much
I would refuse to play against an opponent with a single textless card, let alone a deck full of them. That's illegal.
That's the thing, I think it should be but depending on the format it isn't. It's mad
Ohhh, I would love to see someone play this deck against The Professor of Tolarian Community College!
Don't tell them I made it! I'll be shunned!
I love that the only cards with legible text, ignoring any Phyrexian among us, are lands which most people would be able to understand without any words
Thank you, thank you
For optimal rage bait make sure to apologize to your opponent as you constantly ‘forget’ your card effects and then pull out a normal copy to read
That's cool, but may I instead suggest an entire ring binder with only 1 copy of each card per page, for maximum flipping whilst trying to find the card
god I ABSOLUTELY share the bitter rage you expressed here. what a nightmare deck. I DID giggle with unbridled glee every time you zoomed in on the "text boxes" of all those textless cards.
Haha, thank you!
I’ve never evilly cackled through the entirety of a video before but you did it you mad lad. Cheers!
ty ty
So here’s my dilemma. I REALLY want to go into a commander game in Tabletop Simulator with this deck. The only problem is that when you load cards from Scryfall, they‘re all their base versions, AND they have their text put on the objects themselves, which means that anyone can just hover over the card and read the text. But I do love the idea.
It would mean saving an image file of every card, but could you load them as custom objects?
having full text basics in this deck is actually the perfect way to maximize the tilt value of this deck
Haha, right?
Another fun thing about glistening elf is that the phyrexian text version is the only version were that creature got the subtype phyrexian attached, so even though you may know what exactly that card looks like in every other print, you would still be wrong in what types it is
Oh that is fun!
That you TH-cam for suggesting me this video in a 3am insomnia haze. I haven't played magic in over 3 years. I hate it. I want to build this deck SO BADLY
And it's this that made you want to come back? Well, maybe this deck isn't all bad then
I was really hoping that you would include the full-text lands, and I was not disappointed.
You're welcome!
"Judge? I'd rather shoot myself than move to turn two!"
I can't imagine the Judge would fare much better honestly
The great thing about this deck is you just have to survive the first few turns until at some point you can just invent effects for lesser known cards and your opponent will just want to get over it and accept it.
"Yeah, sorry. You mill exile the top half of your deck and I can play those cards without paying their mana cost. Yeah, Ponder's pretty good, yeah. Don't look it up"
I haven't played MTG in years now but this video got recommended and got a really good laugh out of me. No idea where the secret layer is, I guess it's some special printings of cards?
I've got to say that I always loved the look of Phyrexian Text Elesh Norn, but seeing so many other cards with that feels like it completely dilutes the thing that made it cool in the first place.
Secret Lair is the name for Magic's direct to consumer sales model. Basically, it's their website that sell a limited stock of alt art versions of cards, first come first serve. It's a way of getting around having to include stores in the sales process, and seemingly encourages scalping. It's rough
I already thought a lot of the cards were hilarious, but I lost it at the basic lands with a whole ass paragraph of text on how basic lands work, this is a work of art, art is supposed to awaken emotions in the person facing the art, which this deck clearly achieves.
Thank you, that's much appriciated
I'm still waiting for some more phyrexian text cards, I'm definitely going to build a full phyrexian deck
One day
Another option for basics to fit this theme are the black and white midnight hunt lands. They are hard to read even if they are on your side of the table.
Yeah, though I may save those for another deck. I wish they'd printed a 5 colour commander in that style. That would have been a fun deck
The entire deck with no text, and use the Full-text basic lands. This would be PERFECT
They keep printing them. One day we'll get there!
I got the poker faces cards for my Mr. House commander deck purely because they’re casino themed and I love making themed decks. But, yeah, this video made me realize I should 100% write down what they actually do for when I actually use them.
I mean, that's a cool idea though to be fair. See, now I'd be annoyed if they didn't print more cards like this just so you can complete the deck
@@RedBobcatGamesSomeone at my lgs was talking about this deck with people and started buying cards to make it irl lol
This is "Inside Joke" the deck. You only get it if you are in the joke, otherwise it's jibberish and you feel left out. The whole thing is a cheeky inside joke.
My friend went out of his way to find as many cards with bricks of text to play, and you went the opposite route.
I literally asked if this kind of thing was possible. What an incredible video
Thank you!
If someone played this deck against me, I'm leaving the table lol. I loved the various arrows pointing at the "rules text" on the cards
That's my favourite part too, thank you
The Professor: "Reading the card explains the card."
This deck: .
Yeah, let's not tell him what evil I've wrought
What i love about the lands is that for the first 60 cards, it's 100% obvious what they do.
But this mountain, wtf does it do, I need to read the text.
Word for word haha
Arguably, the opponent can ask a judge for Oracle text, and once they get what's going on, you'll probably be penalized for unsportsmanlike conduct
Oh yeah, no one wins with this deck at all. Bad times all round
I don't play magic so this is what all deck building videos are for me. Just words and cool art
I mean, that's all any of the cards are really in fairness
That version of the one ring is unobtainable.
Unless you can somehow steal it from post Malone.
...not unobtainable then
I think it's hilarious that you chose Jedit Ojanen as an example. This creature does indeed, uh, attack and block!
Haha thank you, I did wonder how many people would notice that and pick up on what I'd done
The first Grand Prix that I ever attended was when 'Merica control became rather popular due to Jayce Mind-Scultor being unbanned. I played against a version of the deck that ran 4 textless copies of Cryptic, 2 textless wrath in mainboard, and some amount of textless Negate, I don't remember how many. My opponent refused to elaborate on what the textless cards did unless I called a judge to explain the oracle text. That was also my first time seeing cryptic, as my local meta didn't really play control very much at the time, as aggro was way more popular prior to the Jayce unban. I don't think I have ever had less fun playing against anybody at any point in my 15 years of playing MTG.
Yeah. And I turned that experience into a Commander deck for some reason!
I was really hoping you would do the all text lands. You don’t disappoint
Thank you, thank you
As soon as I saw the premise of the video, imediately knew the all-text basic lands needed to be in the deck. Was not disapointed.
Glad to be of service
This is delightful, I look forward to both building and upsetting people with this deck. Thank you for the info!
Haha, oh no! You're welcome?
I did, in fact, know what Coffin Queen does simply because I've got a copy that I keep looking at for decks but never quite finding a home for. That, and she's really funny.
Fair. It's still a lot of text to not be on a card though
I spent a good two thirds of this video hoping I'd see those full-text lands, you glorious monster. Using them probably brought the deck back up to the correct per-deck average total lines of rules text.
Haha, probably over it to be honest. There's SO MANY words on them!
As a Yu-Gi-Oh! player, I fucking LOVE THIS XD
Okay, I guess not everyone will hate it then...
The end bit of just using Full-Text lands is glorious to me. I was laughing so hard I got a stitch. A masterclass.
Ah, why thank you
I was hoping the lands would be full text 😂😂😂 brilliant video
Thank you very much!
I played like, 3 games of MTG back in the 2000s and barely understood what I was doing. This video has left me feeling like you somehow stole what MTG knowledge I had like some kind of mind lich. Wonderful video.
Haha, thank you. Glad you enjoyed?
@@RedBobcatGames glad you made it! It was an experience lol
Well thank you again!
@@RedBobcatGames I sent this to a friend and apparently they own 20 of the cards needed to make this deck... oh no.
OH NO! Why would you possibly do that!?
This entire video was funny in a mean-to-your-friends way, but the Terramorphic Expanse and basic lands had me rolling.
Ah why thank you!
gonna start calling my Zo Zu deck 100 cards of pure spite
That's actually beautiful to be honest. Especially if you're against a land fall deck
i would be really impressed if i saw this deck in person
I would be miserable haha
The only proper way to build this deck is with all full text basics. Well done.
Ty ty
I immediately thought of these lands when you were going through the video and have the fun out of oops my lands stole all of my text.
Ha, this deck does need a name and that's quite a good candidate
This is the type of deck you give to the smartest person in your pod and just say 'Have at it.'
If that's the case I'd never get to play it
I now have a deep, burning desire to see the guys from Card Market sit down to a “casual” commander game and Toffel whips this out.
I think that's a bad idea, but weirdly I would watch that
Add like 10 copies of shadow of doubt.
Once you get the judge called for multiple copies, cast shadow of doubt in response to the deck check.
Even Judges won't escape this deck
I'm torn.
On one hand, I really want to say "thanks, I hate it!"
On the other hand, I LOVE the idea behind this deck.
No it's okay, you can say you hate it. I certainly do!
This is a great video, because you explain it so well that I, with absolutely 0 knowledge of MTG, can understand how torturous this is
Thank you! Glad you enjoyed
Maybe "enjoyed" was the wrong word
@@RedBobcatGames oh no I absolutely enjoy torture videos, my favourite youtubers are valefisk and magicthenoah
The real big brain play is to play goblin king on like turn 9 and say it anthems all your goblins. This will inflict massive psychological damage on your opponents as they try to remember all of the no goblins on your board.
Haha, god yeah. The sheer panic!