How To Combine Finances After Marriage?
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I love hearing Dave talk about his & his wife's relationship. He holds her in such high regard. It's really inspiring
-29yo dude
@P Maitra just takes communication, and anyone can get there.
@P Maitra indeed!
@P Maitra Combining finances is not that hard and very realistic. If marriage isn't your thing and your content with a more casual relationship that's fine. But marriage is 100%
I know, it is so heart-warming to see strong married couples. I wish I could find a strong man of God who understands this exact principle!!
@@TJ-oo5mx your whole thought process is flawed. It shows that the fault probably isnt with the women around you but rather yourself.
I cant believe that you think women should be the "weaker vessel" and "should fulfill men". This shows the exact problem with you. Respect the woman you find and they will respect you and everything will be worth it. Keep looking down on women and you will continue to struggle and see women out to get men.
My husband and I have this arrangement, too. He never ever indicated that he has more of a say just because he works outside the home. It's called marriage.
That's because he's soft.
That’s a casualty
ScarletNight No its because he trusts her, dont marry people that are gold diggers be a better judge of character, two mature and communicative adults should have no problem in marriage
If your wife gives up a carees, takes care of your home, gets pregnant and does all the childcare then shes owed half of the income. Otherwise you can both have separate careers and she won't sacrifice her body and ambitions to support YOU.
Norah Miriam Chehab she will hit the wall regardless.
I could hear the pain in her voice lol. She wasnt expecting that answer from Dave.
Agreed either its because she's making more and is hesitant in sharing or shes feeling guilty because he makes more and its just alien to her to be apart of that.
Could also be that hes hesitant in sharing but she really wants to just dousn't know if its right to
LIV MARIE first
She wasn't
Rush to judgement maybe?? Listen to the rest of the call please. She’s concerned about her husband who doesn’t agree with this, not her. She does sound suspect though and I too thought the same as you and 160 other people who didn’t listen to the entire call! Lol.
Christian Phillips how do you know thats what she meant? 🤭
"you're now a joint venture" Lol
mmmlive1999
Lol divorce lawyers will F*** men over & over .
Prenups.
FLYBOY805 if you want a prenup guess what, you shouldn't marry her since you obviously don't trust her.
Cobb Thank you
@@tpzlol I think you can trust people and still engage in due diligence processes simply as a matter of process...
Just shared this with the my kids. This is how my husband and I have always had our marriage and we have been together for 28 years. I hope our kids follow ours and Dave’s advice on this matter.
We went for Dave’s financial course for newlywed when we first got married, we learned a lot about how to manage the money together and never been his or my money. It helps us to love each other more even I am a stay home wife. We never have any problem with money because everything we have in both of our names.
I’ve always been against combining finances for myself but slowly opening to it.
Just make sure that you and your spouse are transparent with your $$$.
awesome video! WE is the most important.
Preach it. More people need to understand this!
"It is as much hers as it is mine". Nailed it.
My wife (rest in peace) and I combined finances from the start. We both worked, had one joint checking account, and both our paychecks went into that account. We sat down and paid the bills together every month. We made decisions together on all purchases. I made about 50% more than her but that was irrelevant.
Excwllent reasoning. I will NEVER get married because of it. Thank you for making it clear to me.
Joint savings and checking and then ONE separate account either checking OR savings. I don't want to see what my husband is buying for me. Anything over $100 must be discussed.
My husband said the same thing: he wants to sometime surprise me with gifts & if all the money is one account, I’ll see the purchase. 😒 So do you all just have a agreed amount going into the separate account?
@@talethiaowens-wand8079 yeah I would go with that. In budget meetings say okay this money is yours to spend and this is mine. Have 1 joint account for bills and auto pays etc then a his and her account. Check out Jordan Page FunCheaporFree and she has a video about the 7 bank accounts everyone should have and in another video called how to budget + get out of debt! (The simple way). Both videos are long (like half an hour long) but has great content.
We have an arrangement pretty much like that for all the money we made and make since pooling finances (getting a civil partnership, which is equal to a marriage, next year). It's nice to be able to give the other something that wasn't theirs to begin with :-) And also useful that he can decide to spend a ridiculous amount on a coffee maker and I can invest something into a risky venture without the other being bothered or worried. But the vast majority of our money is pooled. :-)
Thank you all the useful information.
I don't eat up everything Dave says, but HE'S RIGHT ABOUT THIS!!! Her questions at the beginning annoyed me so much. When u get married, you are ONE! Don't get married and dishonor the institution if ur not gonna act like ur one!
That dog joke had me loling! 🤣
I love how he points out things that are counter-cultural like not assuming more money earned = more power. This so so the norm value in America!
Well I decided that once my fiance had read the "No more debt" book of Allen Carr and decided to implement the principles, one of which was to cut up the credit cards (I think it is a good idea to keep one for incase of emergencies until he has enough savings). Then when I got to America in plus minus 6 months time I would pay all the outstanding amount. I would do so for peace of mind and peace in the relationship about debt.
My fiance received the book in the mail on Saturday and read it in one hour. He told me on the Sunday how he felt about the book. He was resistant and had many excuses about why he felt that the book was not for him and his lifestyle as a business owner. He then declared that he had also opened an additional credit card with American Express in February this year so that he could get travel insurance, voyager miles etc and he never told me about this. He as I mentioned previously knew I don't want us to have debt from the start of the relationship. All 4 his credit cards are maxed out. I was shocked to the core but said nothing and discontinued the conversation. I was feeling sick and so angry at that point in time and needed to cool down.
Later on Sunday we spoke again. The argument was so intense that we had to say goodbye to each other. I was desperate, as all my attempts to try and make my fiance understand what the importance of getting out of debt means to me had come to naught. The next day was the same and the Tuesday. I sent him a very angry message because he said I didn't trust him and if I don't then it was no use continuing with the relationship. I don't trust him with money and I feel I have every reason not to. We were going to buy a house together with my money as a down payment of 40% (the S.A. rand to the USD exchange rate is poor). I need to know that I can trust him. That's my life savings.
I have deep feelings for my fiance although I see him as a man who lacks self control. I do find his weight unappealing, but that's cosmetic and nothing to do with the essence of his character. I was still prepared to sacrifice all that I have here at home. My job, pension scheme, medical insurance, being near my son, my home and garden, my cute little car, my country my friends and family just to be with my fiance. Because he is so resistant and in fact arrogant about his problem I have no reason to believe that our relationship, never mind a marriage would work. So would I be wise to give up on all that I have mentioned about my life here for nothing but disappointment and deception (my fiance deceived me about the American Express card because he fail to tell me about it. He said he forgot)?
I would like to mention here that my fiance sold his house to make his 2nd wife happy and regrets that decision up till today. I asked him to cut up his credit cards for the sake of our relationship and I know he would never regret that ever again, but he wouldn't do that. That to me is sad considering what I am prepared to sacrifice for our relationship. It also makes me feel that all my fiances declarations of love for me are cheap and without substantial amount of evidence.
With all this in mind how can I pledge all my worldly goods to this relationship? What would you do if you were in my shoes?
Lots of love and blessings.
I pray you get out before it is 2 late. Ask for GOD'S help
@@SherrilynnGrayer.prettyeyes thanks for reading that long story. You must be the only one. I am at present investing in another property in my own country. I have told my fiance that my son is the beneficiary. I am going to go over to America with $9. I want to see if he is prepared to take care of all his financial issues and me for 3 months before I can marry him. I think it's a good test of his character and his determination to have me as his wife. I can just bolt but I do care about him very much as he is a great guy in other areas of his life.
Don't do it. You'll get burned.
It sounds like you won't be happy with him.
Joint account, just make sure everything is paid by Dave's recommended percentages. And make sure the wife is taken care of. Happy wife, happy life.
J Santiago how do I find a man that actually believes in this mentality? Lol
shan wow Because most men want to be treated as equals and not be subservient to their wives.
People are always so concerned strictly about the wife; if as a man, I'm not happy and it cannot or will not improve, i am out the door.
Happy man happy plan what's about that
So glad that me and my wife never combined finances. More stuff to fight over than we're already dealing with!
we have to keep ours separate too, she just doesn't have the will power to be financially responsible
@@drunclecookie216 Just curious as what happens if she can't pay Her bills? Does she just get behind or do you give her a loan?
@@pep590 I pay them if she can't
@@drunclecookie216 Good for you Ryan. I think one needs to do that, but how can you watch someone you love sink without helping.
@@pep590 what are you talking about. she's not sinking. we basically share expenses, but she doesn't have direct access to my savings account because she doesn't have the will power to not drain it if she did. spending is like an addiction to her. she pays the smaller bills like electricity and utilities out of her checking account, and I pay the higher bills like the mortgage and credit card balance from my separate account.
Wow! I love how much practical wisdom he has! Every word is so on point!
yup. it is sad when husbands say to wives, “are you trying to get all MY money?” for 24 yrs, husband gets mad if ill ask about his business coz he believes that i should not know what is going on in his business.
I like it when Dave said marriage is not a partnership in this video. However, if you recommended a Prenup in a few cases, isn't it a form of partnership? Noticed the inconsistency here. Also when you get a divorce, it has always been treated as partnership in California anyway.
"Oh okay"
My husband and I think say way! And it’s working well
And I honestly though NO one thinks this way anymore since a lot of people think it’s old school
The reason people nowadays neglect this "oneness" in marriage because either they are sloppy or they subconsciously have fear of commitment.
I totally agree, and I think it's easier when the couple is younger, no children from previous relationships are involved, no baggage from the past, and both are at the same level financially. But what if the people are older and established and have children from previous marriage and one has wealth and is more established and the other is not. I think this scenario completely complicates the situation and one must be careful and use good judgement. And I think pre-arranged agreements and rules have to be established in such cases. What do you think about that? Please let me know!
My husband and I have our joint account as well as the separate accounts we’ve had since before we started dating. We’re living largely off of his income and my loans and bursaries which he helps me pay off. I set up automatic savings for us into RRSP and TFSA and a RESP for our sons future education. I think we will start pooling all of the different incomes (including child benefits etc) into the joint account to make it easier to budget
I couldn't join accounts unless we only accessed the account together. No ones touching it without the other one there
Make in the budget what each spouse wants.
I am with him on this one. I live in Wv where alot of people get raised to believe women are property not people unfortunately alot of people do not understand the idea of togetherness in a income.
What if one partner is ok piling up debt and other wants to live a debt free life?
Don't suggest that if the couple is not on same wavelength on finances then they should separate. It doesn't work that way.
I get all this...and while hoping to have the same goals it's hard for two different people...so how do we combine our income as one, if i want to travel but he doesn't have that same goal? I mean it's ok to not have to the same goals, that's what makes us human..So how do you help with that? how do we combine while also saving for us at the same time?
I respect this..
The pastor doesn’t say And now you’re a joint venture
That's my dog lol
People who argue separate finances are better probably lived together before marriage
Whatever Ramsey, your wife loves your money!
WE!!!OURS!!..MY dog👏👏😂
Money eventually caused my divorce. My husband wouldn't want to join our finances in the beginning because he thought he earned more and was worth more and during the marriage it became clearer and clearer that he was making the major financial decisions without or little consultation with me. I felt his mother was always getting into her son's about not letting their wives know about their actual income. Anyways all her son's are now divorced. The TH-cam presenter is right marriage is 'we' and 'ours' so if you're not up to it, don't get married or stay in a 'marriage-like' Relationshiip because the family courts will treat you as spouses unless their is an iron-clad prenuptial. But you even hear of those being thrown out occasionally. God really outsmarted us! Lol
Lol the wind was knocked out of her sails. She thought cause she made more she wanted to keep
It separate. If he made more wonder if she would’ve called?
I use to be guilty of this, I use to think cause I made more, I had the final say.
Yup keep yah dog poop 😂🤣😂 Exactly very smart man!
So how does that work for IRA's? Do you put the same amount in each IRA and invest in the same mutual funds?
"Yes."
Sorry, I love Dave but I totally disagree on this. A person makes more money, spends less, and then one day his wife decides to divorce and takes half of everything? Nope. Love is not a financial agreement.
Keep finances separate and both should absolutely contribute and support each other.
But keeping finances separate is an insurance against losing all if ever a separation happen (people change with time and check the % of divorces)
What’s wrong with having separate accounts and just Venmo-ing each other for bills? That’s what we do. Combining all of that seems like a huge pain. We both have direct deposits, 401ks, and so forth.
What’s a preacher got to do with it?
I did what you told me Dave and guess what? Emergency fund 5k, flush down thanks to my wonderful wife. Left me with 100 to my name.
I miss classic Dave
if you combine both accounts and have full transparency. it'll be much easier to divide everything up when half of yall divorce. you'll save on lawyer fees!
gold
Hmmm I don’t like the feeling that I have to get permission to spend the money I earned 🙄
PRE-NUPPPPPPPPPP
Period!!!!!!
Would Dave's opinion change if he divorces and loses half his assets?
c'mon dave be realistic. first its we but when we get divorce she get everything and i end up in a studio apartment paying most of my money in alimony
If a divorce is not a matter of "if" but of "when", you shouldn't marry at all
Exactly, please do not go into marriage thinking about the possibility of divorce. Divorce should not be an option.
How many babies did you help make?
ashaaib before anyone else jumps down this guy's throat, he said "alimony" not "child support"...
@@fdoctor79 when I get in the car I think about the possibility of crashing. That's why I wear seatbelt.
I’m with you, that’s why you need to be careful with the person you marry 😂... I’m working overtime and him the minimum 😆 but he want to go party every weekend 😝 off of our $ 🤪
Short answer: Either sign a prenup or don’t
The pastor doesn’t say And now you’re a joint venture 😂😂
That made me spit my morning coffee, it was a good one.
You are not two you are one that’s what being married means.
He might as well 😅
Very well said, too many people want to get married and still be individuals.
Absolutely, agree. And the two shall become one.
when your wife is so financially irresponsible you have to keep the bank accounts separate or she will drain every last penny you have sometimes it's the only way to save the marriage
ryan i agree with you, but before marriage you should know someones spending habits and marry someone who is on the same page as you financially or help them get on the same page. you knew she was financially irresponsible before marriage and just chose to accept that.
Not! Too many people wanting to live together and not get married! That's what it is!!! Wonder why?
Fishing Rod it's easy because when it gets tuff they move on.
Getting married and combining finances made paying bills, and budgeting so much more easy it's both of ours.
Red flag if your partner won’t openly talk about money with you especially BEFORE you get married. You have to know what you’re getting into and remove the stigma around talking about money or you’ll get into trouble
That’s the mistake I made when I got married. I learned the hard way.
If you marry the right person, this is a blessing. Each of you becomes more prudent with your spending, because it isn't just your money, it's *their* money too.
If you marry the wrong person, this is hell.
“The only thing that is not ours is if the dog poops on the floor. That’s my dog.
HAHA wonderful wife
Dave is so respectful of his wife
Hank Fuchs no he is a neutered beta male
@@ztaco9477 what is a neutered beta male?
@@ztaco9477 actually he is an alpha he provides for her so she CAN be a stay at home mum and take care of him the house and the children. So very far from beta .
Eso Tera no an alpha would be having a few women in his stable with no kids or concerns. Also having your money and possessions secure from anyone’s hands is important. If for whatever reason she decides to leave him he is scared. His balls are constantly on the block
@@ztaco9477 sure! Have a nice day
Not going to lie, it was a bit of a challenge for me the first time I combined finances with my husband. At the time we were both dirt poor, but I had a savings that I had worked hard to save over years with minimum wage work. I knew we both wanted to have combined finances because we value the partnership of marriage in everything, but it was still a transition to take “my hard work and my savings” out of my account. Long story short through going to college and transitioning careers we have both supported one another from time to time and have both been in positions of financial dependency on one another. It’s been good because it has made our relationship so much stronger. Wouldn’t change a thing.
LazicStefan still going strong! We are now debt free (paid off $50k in student and car loans) and are now saving for a house. We have made it through a sudden, recent job layoff with little issue past an unexpected inconvenience. Still no regrets. 🤗
Combined since day 1!
That’s wonderful! Thank you for sharing. I am thinking of getting engaged and I have more “financial smarts” and savings than him. But this helped me to think about US not just me vs him.
Thanks this has really helped too
We just dump it all in one account and have two debit cards. It's our money.
That is how bit should be. If not all you have it’s a roommate 👌👌
This is SO important. I don't think a lot of people in my generation undersand this. Marriages are not supposed to be 50/50, it's 100%. If you go into a marriage with separate finances and continue to cling to "this is mine and only mine" then you're headed for trouble. Unless you both are agreeing to do that respectively, you're headed for trouble.
If you're thinking about marrying someone with adult children that still need financial help, never combine finances or run the other way.
This marriage view he has is the best part of his entire advice portfolio. It is the foundation of happiness and wealth.
I don't agree with Dave on this. My wife and I have ben married for 3 years. She has HER paycheck, HER bank accounts, and HER credit cards. I have MY paycheck, MY bank accounts, and MY credit cards. I make 2X what my wife does. Every month when it is time to pay the mortgage and bills, I pay my half and she pays her half. It's never been an issue, at least not for me, and I have no intention of changing it. When a couple shares everything as OURS, then the divorce comes, isn't it funny how the judge gives HER the house, and HER the kids, and HER half your paycheck for child support?
Wadley225 y’all sound like roommates
3 years is nowhere close to Dave's 30+ years sir. He's got much more experience with these stuff.
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Wow... just read through the comments and I'm shocked at how many dysfunctional people there are. My wife and I had been calling it our money since we were married and would not have it any other way. We go through periods where sometimes she brings home more money, sometimes I do, and there's never been a time when one of us felt more or less entitled to our joint pool of finances.
Anton.d09 why are you calling people dysfunctional for thinking for themselves with their brain and not just doing what they are told or is the “norm”. If it was normal to jump off a bridge for your wedding would you do it too or would you think first? To many sheep these days
h
Joseph Prado tbh the trashing of marriage and women in marriage is more like the norm than a mature functional example of a marriage seems to be
@@josephprado5742 Thinking for yourself can be irrational and childish sometimes. Not all "thinking for themselves" is smart.
That's how I see it. Two become one. Each can still have pocket money from the budget and together decisions can be made for saving for bigger items. If someone says that's bad because everyone should think for themselves...well... together they should be having the same joys and griefs. It's not suppose to be running a corporation together.
My husband and I have been married for 15 years, and we both have always had full time careers. We entered the marriage with separate bank accounts and we've always kept separate bank accounts. It never occurred to us to combine them. He pays the house bills and I buy groceries. If there is a month where one of us needs some extra money we just give it to the other out of our accounts. We just find it simpler that way. Every couple is different, do what works for you.
We do this as well
Well said! You marry a person, NOT a bank account. Having separate accounts discourages gold diggers and promotes a good work ethic. Combining everything smacks of socialism.
Sounds like he contributes more than you if he’s paying for the house bill and all you’re paying for is groceries. There are a lot of other expenses besides the one that’s mentioned. Interesting though.
This doesn't look like a marriage, more like an enterprise. But as you said, some people don't want marriage; they're just OK with running a company together.
Favorite video ever!!! My husband and I are “ we”. We’ve been married twenty five years!! 😍
Congratulations!!!
👏🏾👏🏾🍾🍾
I have a question; so I know you combine finances when married. However I’m pretty much the kind of guy who doesn’t ask for help when it comes to money., right now we kinda upset at each other bc she wants to marry like SOON and I do too, she’s wonderful however I’m still working on my career and it’s going to take an average of 2 years to be finally in a place where my career is stable. She’s 24 and I’m 26, I worry that I spend all my money in the wedding that I won’t have anymore to give, and she’s better financially so my question is what would you do in my situation ?
What if the husband has a child support case from a prior marriage and then gets his wages garnished? The wife and couple would suffer. Not to mention that a prenup + the separate accounts will secure their savings. I can’t agree with this one. There are serious consequences in certain circumstances to not combining everything.
Don't marry him or her. Who wants to deal with that. Don't marry anyone with minor children. It becomes a nightmare and the children suffer. It only has a 75% chance of working out anyways.
Alexia Daley don’t get married period, only has a 50% chance of working out the first time. Too much risk, not enough reward
If a marriage involves kids from previous relationships get EVERYTHING spelled out legally prior to getting married. Take care of your kids/grandkids, or others who you may have in mind prior to getting legally hitched. I've witnessed heartbreaking scenarios where so much emotional turmoil, hatred, and confusion could have been prevented if the two joining together would have exercised some common sense. Come to an agreement, legalize it, and give all concerned a copy of it. If I remarry I plan on doing this, and will insist that my future husband do it as well. Our kids shouldn't have to wonder if an unscrupulous gold digger is going to emerge when one of us passes away.
Will do! Thank you!
Amen! Heartbreak is bad enough. Don’t pile bankruptcy on top of it. Plan plan plan.
Cindy Hindsight is 20/20 is also encourage you to take your time and choose better quality man, before rushing into a marriage.
That’s a problem too for the person that don’t have any children is like ok WE are going to pay child support for several years for children that are not yours but then half of everything including ones person money is their children. As you said everything in writing I saw a case of a lady that made more than her husband all her life when he died after her financially gave all she could to his children education, cars vacations, pay his child support the children came after half of what she made he was making $30,000 and she was making $150,000 that was scary.
@@lesliecuriel2112 huh?
How many poor women want to combine finances with rich guys? All. How many rich women want to join finances with poor men? Almost none. Simple
My husband and I combined our money as soon as we got back from the honeymoon. I make more and I've never felt that I deserve more of the money or anything. I couldn't deal with separate accounts, I would constantly want to know if the other party is being good with their money and what not and I know for sure I'll want to see how much they're saving and I would probably annoy them and cause a strain in the marriage. I handle our financing paying all the bills etc from our joint account. We also have our own personal accounts that's only for allowances; we each get $75 on each paycheck to spend however we want, that way no one has to ask permission to buy certain things, although if either of us need/want something that may be costly, we consult with one another and it comes out the joint account.
Even if we both have a joint account that we rarely access only on emergencies and holidays I still believe in having my own money as a woman. As an African woman African men are really entitled to a woman's money so much and if you dnt find ways to protect some of your hard earned money you will be truly shocked on how some of the money is spent and you cant question him because he is the head of the family. I can never fully trust a man with my money. It's just hard!!
Im single so the We is, Me, Myself and I. And vacations we never agree lol
@Lindalee Law 😂😂😂. But you still have FUN!!
Dave nailed it. And after reading through some of the comments, I’m starting to understand why so many marriages fail now. People just simply don’t understand what a marriage is anymore.
I needed to hear this. Well said Dave. This needs more emphasis in financial peace class. I know there was brief mentions, but not enough. That said, this would be good to mention how each person can have pocket money so they dont need to argue why you bought a new pair of $15 sunglasses for yourself.
I have to say I’ve listen to a few videos and wanted you to know that God speaks through you and that your advice on the subjects of engaged couples and this one on marriage and money really has spoken to me and my issues I face now. Thank you and continue to be a blessing to us all!
Not a joint venture it's a marriage. Golden.
Sounds like she wanted to keep her money to herself. Double standard lol
Watch the video first maybe?
kbrigsby61 Jesse Peterson?
kbrigsby61 or watch the whole video before making rash judgements. And either way you seem to be making pretty quick judgements.
I don't blame her
@@sassysally2995 what do you think I did?
Me and my wife have seperate accounts but we also have a join checking a savings that we put money into every payday for bills and stuff. After all the bills are paid whatever is left we can use for whatever, if we need more for groceries or anything else that comes up then I will add more. It works for us. I've seen way to many people get burned with the joined account. Some guy I listened to on here said that he had about 100k in a joint account, sadly during his divorce he went to take out half of it and his wife took all of it out except for 5 dollars. There was absolutely nothing he can do about it, but hey Dave saves everything is just one right? Thats a risk you should take, right?
Whoever takes all the money into a marriage is scared of divorce and losing half of their life savings even though they had made their fortune before meeting their partner
My wife and I have been married for 10 years. No financial problems since we combined our income.
Rofl. She sounded so sad when he said that.
BUT! Me and my husband *do* have separate accounts. We just don't say "this is mine and this is yours" It will always be ours. My money is counted as additional savings since I have an unpredictable income. My money is also used to test out different credit unions when we move to another state/city, (since it's only a few thousand).
Constant patience, understanding, consistency, fairness, and love is all you need for a marriage. If both parties aren't willing to do this then you're with the wrong person or are that person :P.
LoveLife My wife and I have our own checking accounts, but share one savings. Pretty much everything else is shared, besides the obvious.
LoveLife
You said 'ours', then you say 'my money'. It sounds like your husband's money is yours as well, but your money is strictly yours.
you are part of the problem, using the wrong pronouns, "My Money"
I'm sure this makes Dave Ramsey more attractive to a lot of the women listening.
Unless the women have more assets.
This is a great perspective! How do you handle the joint account if one person is a spender and the other is a saver?
My husband and I both have a weekly allowance. If either of us need something outside that allowance, we ask for permission and give a budget on the expense. Ex. I’m in my second trimester and cannot stand to wear any of my pre-pregnancy clothes so I approached him and said “hey baby, would it be ok if I spent $150 of our misc exp on maternity clothes.” Of course he says yes. He doesn’t ever say “well, if you’re gonna spend $150 on clothes, I’m gonna spend $150 on tools.” He knows I’m asking bc it’s a necessity.
Lo Jones u say of course he said yes but what just saying what if he said no
I would handle it with 3 accounts total. 1 joint and 2 separate for each individual. X amount of ur monthly income goes to joint and the other Y amount thats left over goes to urs. This of course is all under the assumption that the spender only dips into his/her account to spend money.
@@clublulu399 this is what I plan to do. This is the way
again, common sense. been married 25 years and whenever hubby wants something my answer is always 'you can have anything you want'. I handle OUR money. Sometimes I make more than he does, sometimes he does. I'm not materialistic so I just grow savings....I retired at 52. now we play. I'm so sad for people that can't make that commitment.
My wife and I recently got married, we used both our incomes to wipe out MY debt even downgrading HER car to pay it off faster.. Therefore paying no more interest and leaving more money for US moving forward. This is a humbling but also rewarding process. when you combine money, you can do more with it. Now that my business has grown we are saving fast and plan on buying our first home later this year. Marriage is awesome!
This works for us. Has for 30 years. Everyone is different though.
Dave certainly has an old school approach to marriage and finances..with the divorce rates going crazy nowadays it’s harder than it sounds to just combine everything. It makes it discouraging to want to take a chance by putting everything into the other person.
I hear what you're saying and I can totally sympathize with that. However, Dave's old school approach is what had always been successful in the past and that's how marriages worked. I strongly believe that the reason marriages aren't working today like they used to, is because of the mindset that people have that they need to keep things separate or that they need to have certain protections in place for them themselves, in case things go south in their marriage. People are naturally becoming more and more self -serving and self -preserving, rather than giving them themselves and everything they have to the person they marry. Essentially, society is simply becoming more selfish, which is destroying marriages. And the more marriages that are destroyed because of this type of mindset and behavior, the more people will adopt that mindset to protect themselves from a potentially bad marriage. It just creates a vicious cycle that is reflected in how much divorce we see now.
The divorce rate is also related to women's financial independence. The divorce rates have increased, not because in the past relationships worked better, but because there was a financial dependency. Women wouldn't even own property, not to mention studying in the university! They were trapped in their marriage even if it was abusive, because they didn't have financial independence.
Different financial approaches work for different people in my opinion
@@AngelicaTsakmakidou🤔
@@AngelicaTsakmakidou women initiate over 60% of the divorces and it's closer to 90% when the woman makes more than the man. Less than 10% of divorces have anything to with abuse and mostly the couples grow apart and bail (usually the woman). Dave's advice is sound if you want a marriage for the long haul. If you're just in it for yourself than by all means don't listen...
I disagree, always keep finances separately and figure out a joint account to put money into monthly. One small mishap within your relationship and your partner can drain you dry.
Marriages who do that are not "all in". it's a pseudo-joint account. My ex-wife did that as part of our plan, and yeah it made it easier once the Divorce happened. So if you want to speed up the process, then a preudo-joint account is the way to go.
It sounds like you don't trust your partner.
What you are saying makes the most sense if you are making a business decision... but marriage is a moral decision not just a financial one
Wow! The comments are astounding. I'm engaged and we decided to have one joint account but two separate checking accounts for personal purchases. This is making me rethink that decision. I like the dependability and openness of the decision to combine finances. We can still have independence and reliability with each other in marriage and in money. It's a decision of vulnerability and trust. We have to trust each other in finances as well as everything else.
Christina Boemanns we have joint account for bills but for other things separate that way it prevents overdraft i keep track of my amount he his. But the account can have money transferred free
Rebecca Bell I'm glad you have a system that works for you two!! That does sound convenient. I'll be married in 2 months so we talked about it again and agreed to have one joint account. I think it will helps us with budgeting as well, it's a lot of work to keep track of two accounts versus one. I think that will be our best option!!
Dave is right and my first marraige was combined finances. I am going into another marraige now and anticipated doing combined until I was suddenly paying all the bills because we moved and my fiance can't find a living wage job. This doesn't look like it's ever going to change in our new area. Kind of caught between a rock and hard place. Plandemic really messed up our livelihood. If we move back to a state with more jobs for him than I could end up out of work and certainly our housing is going way up.
I'm a newlywed! This is awesome advice!!
One year later, still married?
How to combine finances after marriage: she begins to show you who she really is, finally files for divorce, takes over half your stuff and home. Now your finances are combined in her bank account and wallet - taa daaaa!! Combined!!
I agree ...I saw many of my friends abandonned with nothing after being home stay mums for years when their husbands got crazy with 20 years old girls ....that's a pitty and that's not fair ....
@Fritzi Lang you should have stuck to making movies.
They had low character to begin with, yet they married them anyways. It was only a matter of time. Choose wisely and treat kindly.
I got married when I was 19 and was married 13 years. We only had one bank account, which he ALWAYS drained. I will never put ALL my money in someone else’s hands again.
This could have easily been avoided if you did a better job vetting the guy. You were not on the same page financially and you obviously couldn't trust the guy. It sounds to me like you just rushed into marriage. In a proper marriage this doesn't happen. Take your time next time and choose wisely. If you don't have it in you to share your finances with your husband you shouldn't get married at all. Having trust issues going into a marriage is a disaster.
@@Luffa187 thank you, Captain Obvious. 🤣🤣🤣 No 19 year old is prepared for marriage, but that’s my 43 year old self talking. Hindsight is always 20/20, eh? And I don’t plan on getting married again. I have my hands full enough raising my children without taking on the burden of another marriage.
@@crazeekids9744 Fair enough. We all do mistakes. I won't get married either. I'm not comfortable sharing my finances with anyone and it's stories like your that makes me terrified. I'm sorry he betrayed your trust and did that to you.
I can’t believe that the big diamond ring princess is incapable of picking up after the Dog, and Dave, the bread winner has to do it. WOW WOW WOW, Dave must to love that woman…
I'm not a fan of this method. I certainly don't want to see hard earned family money going to $200/wk in shoes or some other such frivolity. Having a "your money", "my money", "our money" approach keeps the peace more often.