Reconnecting with an Ex (vs. Having a Hidden Agenda)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 ก.ย. 2024
- Clay Andrews (from relationshipinn...) discusses the topic of reconnecting with an ex and the importance of not having a hidden agenda beyond connection.
If you’d like more advice to help you get the love life you want without the mind games, check out relationshipinn...
For more common problems you may encounter on the path to getting back together, check out our playlist over here: • What to Do to Get Your...
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if you’re interested in reconnecting with an ex and exploring the possibility of getting back together, there is something you really must keep in mind.
Your ex will have a sense that you have an ulterior motive if you come in wanting to get back together with your ex without first checking where they are at emotionally and meeting them there.
You see, I’ve helped countless people get back together with an ex, and the key to reconnecting with an ex is to not have a hidden agenda.
Instead, you just want to focus on reconnecting with your ex on an emotional level. Discover them for the unique person that they are.
Take an interest in their life and experience.
And meet them where they are at emotionally.
You see, if you try to interact with them as the person that you remember them as (even if you just broke up a few weeks ago), you’re not meeting them where they are emotionally.
And that will lead to feelings of disconnect.
And if there is an emotional disconnect between you and your ex, then there’s going to be a lot of trouble getting back together.
So, remember that the emotional connection is the most important thing to focus on and as long as you use your curiosity and empathy to guide you, you will be on the right path to seeing what may be possible between you and your ex.
To learn more about how to connect with your ex via Advanced Relational Skills, check out this playlist: th-cam.com/video/8pM1PxNaYBI/w-d-xo.html
I’ve watched so many of your videos today. They are very helpful :)
I may have found you too late though! We finally exchanged messages last night for the first time after 3 months. He’s essentially said that he doesn’t know how to talk to me and I made him go through so many emotions when I got in my head. Also said he misses what we had for the majority of our relationship.
I responded and told him I understand and agree with everything he said and I did deserve the breakup. Also that I love him like family and if we could talk... that I know with all my heart it would be a good one. Said I hope we can.
It’s not that I wanted to sound like I had an agenda. I just asked can we see how it goes. 💔
3 months isn't too late. I'm on my 9th month here, just started reconnecting with him 2months ago.
Crux Thank you for the encouragement, it means a lot because I’m get so down just knowing he won’t feel comfortable to give us another chance. Sometimes I feel a little hope though....
Curious to know updates from you both? How you doing in love?
It is impossible for one of us to move out right now. We initially broke up in October. We have stayed “friends” trying to hangout but it created friction. We made a “plan” to give eachother space and try to communicate more. This is when he got into a rebound relationship without me knowing.
He came clean it hurt me so much, but I’m trying to stay strong.
We work opposite schedules pretty much. And only have “weekends” off together .
Currently he has been confusing me , he acts cold towards me but also blurts our Random things. Yesterday for example we had some common time and were watching tv , not cuddling or anything. And he blurts out the name of the place we first met in 2015. He also got pizza, he does little things to show he does still care. But he is also very distant. He started sleeping in the same bed again. We don’t cuddle or talk at night.
We both know we are not back together , and have a lot of things we need to work on ourselves.
I just wonder if we have a chance.
He told me he didn’t like me in December when he was having fun with the rebound girl. Until she started becoming “crazy”
This is all very hard for me and I’m literally taking it day by day. I started a journal to write down affirmations and things I’m thankful for. But at the same time I’m trying to keep composure and trying to put things in the past and only talk to my ex positively . For example we went for a walk the other day and I gave him my full attention while he told me what was going on at work. And I replied full heartedly.
(My ex and I were romantically together for several months before the breakup and now we're contacting now) If there is an emotional connection with your ex every time when you contacted them (phone), should you just be glad/happy/grateful for the connection and just keep it in your heart? Because to me, sometimes it just seems too good to be true, like I've just had a wonderful connecting conversation, but I hate to keep on thinking about it. Instead I'd rather just let it sink in...
The problem is that, yes I want to know her news sooo much, but at the same time I am so afraid of hearing that she falls for this new guy and I am also fearing... It is so hard to just act cool...
If you can't handle the possibility of her being in a relationship with someone else, then you really shouldn't be trying to get any news on what's going on in her life.
I know it's hard because you want to know, but you also have to know your own limits.
@@ClayAndrews My ex admitted she is very stressed when she is about to meet me (it has been already more than 1,5 months since we last met) and her stomach hurts. Please please tell me, what should I do?? I feel the same fear, but only cause I miss her so much and it hurts being rejected by her all the time, while a new guy enjoys her. I also fear that the more distant me and her become, the more serious it will be with this guy as time passes... :( I know so much that if I had the chance to spend even a couple of hours with her, I would make her lough and feel safe and happy, but she still resists to give it a chance and meet! Is it at least a good thing that she feels something like stress? Should I have hopes that she is not completely over me and not indifferent? But I just wanna know how to make her trust on feeling calm and happy when she would meet me...? Thank you!
Hey, why don't you send our team an email at hello@modernlove.life and we will pick things up from there. :-)
What do you mean by high achievers?
people who want to be the best version of themselves that they can be
Hi clay but what if my ex didnt let me to get too close to him emotionally and the reason he gave was that he never expects anything from anyone
So I need some help. My ex got a rebound for about 3/4 weeks. He told me he didn’t like me in his mind at this point. We were taking a break but still living together. Just recently he came to me and told me everything that happened and apologized . He said how he felt about me that he didn’t like me at this point and this other person made him feel happy. Until the other person started acting crazy. He is back home now, we still have so much tension but what can I do to ease this tension and move forward and get him interested in me again. He gets angry when I bring up his “mistake of the rebound girl”. He seems a little distant too
Hi Amy, living together can truly be a struggle for a couple who is going through a breakup. Because both people won't have that needed space to focus on healing but instead, the mindset is leaning towards fixing the relationship. The best thing that you can do is to fully apply the Limited Active No Contact that we talk about inside our Ex Solution Program course. All the best.
How can we do the no talking while living together . What video do you have on this topic . And it’s hard because we see eachother everyday.
Today we went for a walk and I just tried to focus on the connection. I’m trying to put the situation that happened behind me even though it just happened.
I really want us to try and work things out.
You can check our video regarding that topic. Kindly check over here. :-) >>> th-cam.com/video/DSfbADiOSJE/w-d-xo.html
clay, she keeps avoiding me, and I know that she has gone out on dates, we are two months away since the break up, we have had good conversations, and we exchange funny messages sometimes, but she hardly ever ask about my personal life, she doesn't talk about the break up at all not even with her own family, sometimes she message me and as I start asking more she opens up and starts to talk about her life and things she does, some other I have to be one starting the conversation, but she's too busy with friends and partying. am I on the test drive or riding the dragon? sometimes I just want to hate her so I can get her out of my chest and my head.
bro dont chase. dont call. dont contact unless she calls/texts. she has low interest. dont fucking chase. dont be a lil bitch and man up. dont be a girly man.
My interpretation(if you don't mind that I interject) is that she likes the attention. when she "opens up," this is therapy/venting for her as it is something that she wanted to talk about and others were too busy to have time to ask. This is why there is a lack of questioning about you.
What if she still hate me so much after 2 month no contact and she has a new relationship, how can I recontact with her? It seems like she already moved on and she love this new guy a lot more than with me, it seems like I don’t act quickly and more time had passes away, the less chance I can get her back
What and how do I do?pls help🙇🏻♂️
Hi Bosco, It seems like your mindset is focused on the events instead of the process. Remember that your ex is a human being and we have to be sensitive towards her as a person and, not something that we have to win over. This makes me think that we need to work on your self-esteem first so you would remove yourself from the place of need. All the best.
Clay Andrews Is that mean I should have a mindset of giving her up? I’m confuse
Me ex has an extreme anxiety disorder that triggers emotional resistance! Shes in a rebound relationship and needs a man to move in with that has a place of his own! Try and figure that one out. It's sad
Maybe she's codependent?
@@ClayAndrews shes got the really severe bipolar disorder so it's over at this point
Mine is bipolar and has an anxiety disorder as well
Your advice isn't all that good
guys that give good dating advice are usually guys that have gotten or can get a lot of women, a guy who's had a lot of women understand the game better, not just from hearing other's stories although it helps.