The frustrating thing about this is to get to a place where this stuff works is to truly move on from your ex. And once you've moved on you dont want them anymore, but that's exactly when they will want you. It seems unfair.
@@johannesolofsson221 At that point I don't even care enough for that to be a desirable option. Time is precious and life is too short. I'm on to the next.
Not really. They could get married lol. They could find someone when you move on and you both might never speak again. Too many people speak in absolutes. Some exes come back, but I reckon most (by far) do not. They might ask how you are, years down the road, but they might just be curious and have no ulterior motives. I know for a fact my ex won’t ever find a man as handsome and intelligent as me that will want to date her. I’ll sleep comfy every night knowing that I’m dating women way out of her league.
@@Gbb93 Maybe not for you because people dont want you back in their lives. In my case, it doesnt matter if they move on who they move on with married or not, they always try to come back.
The movie Groundhog Day perfectly illustrates this role reversal of runner and chaser. At first, Phil the main character idolizes this woman and obsesses over getting her, and she keeps rejecting him because he hasn’t worked on himself and doesn’t see his own value. Eventually he repeatedly tries to kill himself and eventually his attitude changes and he starts investing in himself. He learns a lot of new skills and spends time away from her. Then she starts chasing him and the roles reverse. He is respectful to her but declines some of her advances later as he sees his true value. Then in the end, they do a play Christmas auction to bid on the single men, and a bunch of women fight over him, and the leading lady pays every penny she has to win the bid at the auction to get him. This shows how much his value has increased since he stopped chasing women/seeking validation and worked on himself. Then as the dynamic becomes more secure, there is true love between them and they get together and live happily ever after.
Listen coach Blac, when my ex started to apologize for "hurting me" at the dinner table, I simply stopped her and said "Hey, shit happens right?" smiled, and ordered us both a drink. Chatted about her life a bit, kept myself mysterious. By the end of that evening she asked me "how did you get so smart?" and was all over me. Just politely tell them you aren't interested in being pitied. You have value!
It's not always easy, because it can come in the form of a phone call, and they are really missing you "in the moment".. So it appears significant. But they disappear for months. I had to learn the hard way, as my avoidant ex did that over 15 months so the last time, I decided to ignore. Although it sounded much more vulnerable than before, but not clear and apologetic enough.
I listen to Lucia the art of love. She says I'd they call and don't leave a message don't respond. She says they must be humble and willing to be vulnerable. It is hard to know what to ignore and not...I'm struggling with it now
@@crystalclimenhage7159 I also listened to her she responded to my specific situation and said it was breadcrumbs. When he was texting way more vulnerable things than before (he's avoidant). I think it depends on the context, and you only know if they are being more real and humble. Context was for me that he called me and we chatted (I was friendly but distant), and he disappeared for months after that. So the 3 rd time, I decided to ignore and listened to Lucia. In doubt it's better to ignore as so many dumpers come from an ego place when they reach out, and are still undecided. But if it sounds "real" and it's not a pattern of bread crumbing, I would respond but with caution and keep my cards close to my chest.
After 4months of no contact she finally reached out and unblocked me. Guys no contact really works, she confessed a lot of things and asked me to forgive her for her to find peace
With all due respect coach, some ex's make up in their mind they are done with you and want to move on, In life sometimes people out grow us whether we like it or not. Hope is a beautiful thing but reality and logic must set in. As hard as it is just try to move on, just make it one day at a time til you're feeling more healed than hurt.
Whether they move on or not, if you want them back or not, you must let them go. I have said in multiple videos, no contact is not about forcing anything. Allow them to come to you. And if they don’t, your mindset should be, it is still for the best
@blacademic I hear one dating coach that also says to ignore breadcrumbs until they say something significant...because they reach out and when you respond they will ignore you. My ex reached put 2.weeks ago and I haven't responded and now I'm anxious. He didn't do a clean break uo tho. How do I get a coaching session with you?
100 percent but sometimes those people confirm that decision themselves in their head but when communicating with the other person they leave it up in the air by saying things like “for now it’s best we remain single, but who knows what the future holds” obviously I’m speaking from personal experience lol but transparency and clear cut communication “that it’s over for good” is better than stringing someone along.
Lol blocked her, it's a month now still in no contact. Guess what the relationship was exalted because of me, I brough happiness into her life, so now that is gone. She decided to left, I still doing fine, have my light, got God on my side. There's a lot of fish in the sea and guess who is the fisherman? Me 😅
If they truly loved you they wouldn't have broken up with you in the first place, that's my philosophy on it. But love is not enough he (my ex) would say, well I would have to disagree with that! It IS enough if you make it enough!
I ended it up with my situationship and we had sit down heart to heart talk. Hugged it out and said our goodbyes. It felt like this heavy feeling was lifted from my chest. I cried so hard after that then days after I’m good.
I rejected so hard the breadcrumbs my ex gave me OVER the course of a few months. Our second breakup felt like a relief since I cried so much when the 1rst breakup happened !Being always there for her wasn't enough, she needed to have her ego flattered, well that's fine. I told her my truth the harsh way, wasn't the most intelligent way to do it regarding my choice of words but since she is the type to not so any introspection about herself as to why most of her other exes reacted the same way I did, I come to the realisation she won't change any time soon and so, I think I did it the way it was supposed to happen. I watch those videos to help on my journey. It has been been a few months now since complete SR and I am feeling more and more at peace with myself.
My ex wife ghosted me a month ago Christmas day she calls begging to see me at 3am. We had Great sex she called me 10 times the next day i didn't answer. We can end on that note 😂
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
Same here man. 5 years is so many memories. So much time for someone to up and leave. For me I get hit with “I don’t see you in my future anymore and I have been crushing on someone else” I tried to fix it n it left me broken. But it gets better. I moved n got a new job. It’s helped but it doesn’t stop the flow of memories. You will see her in everyone, everywhere. But get to know new people. Pick up a part time job at a local store or restaurant. You have a void to fill so might as well fill it with as much opportunity to better yourself as u can get. Go no contact and give it time. If she is the one who wronged you. Then the chances are higher she comes back. Just be prepared for the possibility. I hope you get better soon man.
I’m not sure I wanna go back to them , but I still love them but I don’t wanna go through that pain again and my ego is still hurt and hanging on . I feel like I just what the satisfaction of them knowing they lost me, not because I want them back and that’s not a good feeling
Time is your best bet. Time and patience. You'll feel better. IF they choose to come back round and you're treating them as more of a friend and not rushing to reply, being happy but kinda nonchalant, then you'll also see if you even truly want that. Often we end up either not wanting them back, or they don't come back, and better comes along so we end up really glad they didn't. Love isn't enough. Respect and being treated well is.
@@kimberbites i want get rid of her …. Kind of revenge . Dont want her in life anymore . But my heart wont ready to accept that i dont want her. Not able to stop thinking about her
Rejecting my "husband" who left me 8 months ago then returned but still sleeping in separate rooms is like forcing a vegan to eat red meat. I just want my husband back😥😥.
@@glorytoGod0207Mine literally contacts me from time to time while being with a rebound. Wanted another chance, rejected and wanted to be friends later down the road, and got rejected again. 😂
My girlfriend said doesn't want to get back with me i said its cool i understand and wish you all the best goodbye x. I feel so proud listening to you makes me feel empowered so i feel amazing just secured a 80000 a year job my lifes on the up her total lose.thank you so much your videos are amazing
My ex wife after 17 yrs divorced. I was always kind helped her agreed for everything she wanted then one day she just went off on me for no reason ands told me to lose her number.....I did 2 yrs have gone by never heard from her since. I have colleague who is a psychologist......he said its not that they hate you....its that they hate what they have become.
I'm sorry to hear this, change happens as we age and people do as well, your wife might have out grew the marriage and wanted something different, it's not right by any means but when people have made their minds up there is nothing we can do about it. I know starting over after 17 years will be a challenge, but I pray she comes to her senses or someone else comes along after all none of us really wants to grow old alone.
@@rashidarowe7882 people dont outgrow they just differentiate. "Outgrowing" is a lame excuse to move on from a relationship you just dont think you can do anymore. Same people who say this shit become worse in life and following relationships. It's a fact. Not saying you cant outgrow someone and that it doesn't happen but most times it's a copout.
@@CiluhStyle1 exactly what I was just about to say... I glad that I'm not the only one who think that say things like this are full of shit... Frightened little children what they are.
This is very true. Saw my ex at a party just this Friday and he walked up to me to talk. I told him outrightly I DONT KNOW HIM AND HE SHOULD NOT TALK TO ME so he doesn’t burn my candle. He left the party earlier cos he felt uncomfortable. Guess what? He has sent his whole fam members to be begging me 🤣🤣🤣🤣
you give really good advise..and im taking notes.My ex broke up with ne and came back to me in 31 days and he wants to move fast and get back with me but however im being reserve and making sure he earns me back.i love your videos
My girl left me after 5 years of being together she told me that she realised that at my age i cannot treat her how she wants to be treated and that she doesnt want to be understanding anymore. Im honestly struggling with this cz i have sacrificed so much for her and her family. At times id even go broke so that id meet her needs. I feel so bad cz i was so vested in the relationship i love her so much. 2 days after our break up she moved on with this older guy and i saw her posting she was on vacation . It really hurts me so much knowing we had plans for the future together but she just left and moved on that quickly. I honestly dont know what to do, been crying by myself trying to absorb all this shock
You also have to realize that mental health illness issues are very real. To want a person to be obsesseing over you definitely falls in that category. They basically are stalkers. Once you break up with a person, things aren't ever going to be the same. You aren't ever going to get those feelings again. We have to face reality when the relationship has ran it's course.
When my ex decided I wasn't good enough, i let go. I don't go back. Let's assume things were perfect when you met and she moved on. She'll do it again.
It’s always great to see and hear that an Ex who dumped someone will beg to come back. But I’m reality, most woman and some men leave after they already monkey branched to someone else. When that happens they most likely will not come back. Women leave a relationship 80% of the time. They’ve been thinking about it as coach said for months. Although they regret it, what’s the time they do not come back. It’s sad but it’s true.
If you reach the point that you deeply and sincerely don't fear losing your ex then it means you don't love her/him. Fear in itself is not something bad or a sign of weakness, weakness is letting fear control your actions.
I disagree. When you have balanced your own energy, you stop fearing loss. You learn to accept it. Love is a force. We use the energy of love to act. When someone acts in love towards us, we do the same in kind. People choose to stay to experience that exchange. We don't have to fear them leaving.
My ex reach out after 2 months talking about how much he miss me and love and life wasn’t the same with out me I rejected him because he will say if you like to talk we can. I didn’t belive he was genuine so I rejected him two weeks later my friend saw him in public with a girl holding hands is so heart breaking I’m sure he moved on and will never call again.
You are full of wisdom my brother.Discovered your channel today and I sorely believe God really wanted you to speak into my life. You have said all that l need to hear to close the dramatic relationship am in.Haven’t had the power to prove my worth.A new chapter here to be written. It’s going to be a slow ride.l am so excited for my future self.Thanks so very for all you do.
I know that my ex who dumped me and treated me very disrespectfuly is gonna try to come back one day after I'm a successful musician. (She floated the idea 3 seperate times during our breakup conversation getting back with me a few years down the road from now after we've both worked on ourselves) I hope so bad I tell her no. She would deserve it. She's put me thru so much grief.
One of your best videos, thank you for these. They are really helping me, been no contact about a month now, first couple weeks was limited contact though, short text about a bill we had together is all, but complete no contact for 2 weeks now. She asked a mutual friend how I was doing end of last week.
Thank you I needed to hear this because I am there he rejected me and I literally just paid my home off my job wants me to manage but I’ve said no for now I am getting my lips done and some Botox for the first time ever and I got compliments on my hair color 3 times today. A massive load was taken off my shoulders by not having a mortgage and since we have kids I guess he’s noticed. He flat out rejected me last year so I stopped all interaction. This is someone I truly loved. I mean 12 years is a long time to go back and fourth. Now he’s calling me everyday usually regarding the kids but unnecessary even made it sound like it was life or death for my daughters science project and literally had me over to use a glue stick she’s 10 she could of done that her self. I’m mad I fell for it. I know he’s going to call tonight he’s been calling the last two weeks. I’m just not gonna answer.
This is the problem that I’m going through now I reacted to all the breadcrumbs by chasing, and when I try to be strong and say, I can’t just be her friend and end the conversations. She guilt trip me back into it then I end up chasing some more recently, she said we need to at least date other people after I told her I don’t wanna see her with somebody else. That’s why I can’t be friends and she told me she didn’t want to see me with anybody else either. She also has expressed that she’s jealous of everything I do, and whoever I’m with, and that, even though we’re not together, she will always be jealous.
@@nova12332 tbh as hopeful as it is sometimes. I was doing better when she wasnt reaching out, I was actually just ready to move on with my life. Then she started texting every two days and had me come over for sex, constantly says she needs me and wants to have sex. But now all of a sudden she thinks im seeing other people because i try to stay busy but wont do nth with me. And hits me with the whole “we need to at least try to date other people” but shes “not really interested tbh” then two days later posts a pic of herself looking like shes dressed for a date and is hearting and reacting to some dudes pics and posts that kind of looks similar to me. Now its been 4 days since i last heard from her… shit got me fucked up
@STARSENMT women are full of shit, after male energy and they seek constant attention. When you cut off their supply of attention they crave , they die.
Everybody situation isn't the same. Look at your own shit for what it is and leave it at that. All you're doing is exposing your own weakness through your perspective on life since you let them define who you are.
Thanks Coach.. again your videos helped my thru my breakup.. it’s been 5months.. after 4 I started talking to him again.. then stopped .. after the last text to him he won’t be reaching out.. I’m good
One problem that guy constantly encounter is that I am not perceived as being high value guy… And my recently departed ex is a high-powered lady. I don’t feel like I can do better than her, because I never have attracted women like that. That makes this situation, specifically different, and a much greater challenge. Yes, I am going no contact, and I love your videos, and they are very helpful, but my situation seems to be quite specific, and I’m not convinced that I can easily convey that I have options. Because I don’t. Never have.
I think coach would say that’s why she left you… because you’re exuding pity for yourself. Believe me, I know what it’s like to do that. I’ve been begging and groveling now for weeks and I’m done now. She was attracted to me for years for SOME reason. It’s my job to get back there, and be even better than that. You do the same, and either she or someone even better will come along. Believe in yourself - I do!
@@truthsmiles Coaches may say that, but I don’t believe it to be true. This lady didn’t leave me because I am exerting pity for myself. I think she left me because she feels pity for herself, and thinks that eventually I am going to discover her weaknesses, and then leave her. That’s a very different kind of challenge. I’ve been there, I’ve done that, as well.
I done no contact after weeks of back and forwarding with my Ex,I made the decision I need to let her go, she messaged me a week later saying she missed me which I wasn’t expecting at all , I ended up slipping back into pursuing mode and pushed her away again, I don’t feel like there will be another chance! 👎🏼
every situation is different, with different factors. nearly 4 weeks, she broke it off with me, just out the blue, but she has stress issues with work and other things, that impacted us, her age and maybe hormones etc.. a few months before everything was ok.. now her feeling changed towards me.. there are other factors as well, that i said we can sort out, but she said its too late, but i dont believe it. i didnt do the no contact rule, i pleaded my case, rang and emailed every other day. but now going to leave it alone, but all very strange. stress imo has caused her to reevalute everything in her life. but lke you have said blac, its how they feel in this moment. hopefully it subsides. its so hard to deal with 😢
What about situations where the person who initiated the breakup had no other choice, because the other person refused to change their toxic behavior? Most the videos seem to be to help the person who's been dumped, not the other way around I tried with my ex of 5 years to feel emotionally safe with him so I can be open without him dismissing my feelings, telling me i'm crazy, and gaslighting me. Nothing worked. I had to call it off, had no other choice. We even tried couple's therapy, and still no growth. I know he still wants a relationship with me, but he's the type to tell me he loves me, then follow it up with "you stupid b*tch" . Not sure if he'll change...most people by now i think would've had some type of realization that their ways aren't gonna work?
Plz tell me how your getting on, I’m in the same situation iv had to let it go, he’s so selfish and doesn’t know how to show real love and affection, things he says just hurts and I’m meant to stay around, my relationship is 4yrs! I think he’s emotionally unavailable it’s so hard work xx
We moved a bit too fast. Got a place together and she was not ready for that. But, she didn’t communicate that with me. So, we moved in. During the first week she wasn’t being herself. Saying she was overwhelmed and things of that nature. So eventually she lied about speaking with another male co worker outside of work. I confronted her about it and asked what’s going on. She came clean said they were just talking and nothing went down at all. She was giving him a females perspective on his issues. Next thing you know she is addressing things with the guy the next week and let him know she was in a relationship with me. Then the next day she says she needs space and is talking to this guy again smh. I blew her phone up and was obviously upset. But, she is saying the way I reacted wasn’t cool and wasn’t right. But when I confronted her about lying to me I forgave her out of love. So this past week we broke up. Now I have to move again.
If your ex wanted you she wouldn't have dumped you And all she has to do if not already is go on dating apps and be showered with people Saying they want them but if your good kind and decent then there the horrible one not you
My ex text me last saturday night. after 3 months. She asked me are u available. Can i come to you? i said yes and we made sex, sleep together, than she woke up and gone.We didnt talk since that night. Did i do a mistake?
Hi cough he is currently doing that to me and I did just that he told he misses me, what he does he will chart then disappear but I will continue with my no contact then he video calls I ignore get back to him later, wow this staff happens. So what do I do now. I am so excited coz the tables are turning.
I did that he stil rejected me again after showing how beautiful my home have become and me in social media, even efter 1 year , No contact didnt seen to work. He is avoidant btw
Followed all of Coach Blacks advice to a T, literally done everything taught from the get-go since day one of the breakup...7 months tomorrow and still have heard nothing.
You haven't truly moved on. Focus on working on yourself, No contact is more for you to heal , to let go and move on. Don't give up trust in the process.
I agree, you haven’t moved on yet. 7 months is a long time. What got me over it was the fact that he didn’t see my value and I know what I bring to the table. I don’t take offense to the break up as he wasn’t ready for it. I know the connection we have but we both have work to do to even be together again.
@@journeyomega7193 Oh I've been focusing on other things, new job, new apartment, been building a passion project I've been working on for decades...I never begged, never was needy, was always encouraging, I always listened and never ever ever raised my voice, and nothing, not a peep.
I went no contact for 1 and half week then he started watching my status and liking them but i ignored it, the next thing i saw he texted me asking me if im ok. I said ya and went back on no contact upto now. He still watches my social media but i ignore him. Before he was ghosting and ignoring manipulated me till i was fade up, i let him go his way i detached my efforts. I think he didn't see my value or appreciated me. But i dont care anymore and i wont break no contact again.
Wow, this is a really great video, it speaks volumes to me. Its true that when in doubt, always look to Coach Blac 👍🏼... My only preoccupation is if it has arrived late in my reconsilliacion journey. I feel like as soon as my ex started reconsidering her choice and reestablishing our relationship, I gave her the whole relationship back. Can anyone give me any advice on how to repair this damage. 😢
Good morning, I really needed to see this video. My ex girlfriend friend and I have broken up for 18 months, and she has been in new relationship for over a year. However since March, my ex girlfriend and I have been texting and talking on the phone. Matter of fact she has reached out to me on Father's Day and 4th July. On one occasion she asked me, have I thought about her during the break up. She also agreed to meet me for coffee, but she postponed the coffee meet. As I mentioned she reached out to me on Father's Day and the 4th July. However my birthday was in July, but she didn't reach out. Matter of fact I haven't heard from her in over 2 weeks. I'm so over her!! I've blocked her!! She is so immature!!
I've been there bro, whenever they reach out it's just to win over your attention and to know where they stand in your life. Hope next time if she reaches out to you maybe with another account That you ignore her
@@davidtisane4163 Man it's ridiculous for a 50 year old woman to move like that. I feel sorry for her. Matter of fact, I feel sorry for her new boyfriend. I wonder how he would feel if I showed him those text messages she sent me.
It is much easier. You got all the power, now you need to approach the dumpee with humility, vulnerability, and ask to talk or meet up. You express regret and prove you've understood the mistake and have grown. You apologise. The worst thing would be breadcrumbing and expecting Dumpee to get the hint and do the work. Good luck
@@MissSarahGM I broke up with her because she had some things things that i couldnt accept about her. I did it because i wanted to let her know that i rather be without her than having to deal with those things that bothers me a lot. Unless she changes im not willing to take her back. But how do i know she will change if i reach out to her? Ill take the dumpee approach her and wait for her to contact me if she ever does. And if she doesnt she would never change those things and our relationship wouldnt last. Your thoughts?
@@zlatanibrahimovic5746 I see. If those things are still a dealbreaker for you, and are bad behaviours of hers.. And you have expressed it clearly. Then it's like you are the dumpee, and need to wait for her to contact you. But it really depends what you are talking about here.
@@MissSarahGM She likes to dress "slutty" at different occasions, She smokes pot, does not work out and take care of herself, puts almost no effort in our relationship, She expects me to take care of her like a boyfriend and dad at the same time. While she is too lazy to put effort in. Sounds horrible right?
@@zlatanibrahimovic5746 Was she this way when you met her? It isn't ideal but it would be worse if she "acted" slutty. If she was this way when you met her and now you don't accept her, it's on you. People only change if they want to. And what you describe is someone who is not doing well psychologically. It's her way of coping. Instead you can inspire to change and "get better" because you care for her. All you can tell her is that you think she needs help and address her depression. It's a more caring perspective and not judging her. If all was already said, then you can only wait.
Hello coach. Hope this message finds you well. I broke up with my ex a week ago and been in no contact. He reached out to me twice to check on me. Now he messaged me and asked to meet before he move to Texas and I know it’s a true thing. I told him ok. But now my heart aches what is that means. Is this really over? What should I do💔
Some how can't see this happening she has put it all over Facebook she is with someone else the thing is we are still married but the truth is they dont care the pain they cause as long as there happy well bloody good luck to her hope it goes tits up rebounds dont work never have and never will do
I don’t want to have contact with her. We have a kid together and my mom watches him for us. I’m currently living with my mom. She said 50/50 with our son but she doesn’t want to take our son to daycare bc she don’t trust none of them. My mom only wants to watch him a whole week for me not when is her turn. What do I do?
He recently left me a week ago....😢.... I tried I begged...I promised to change everything about myself for him ...I feel IV made a huge mistake.....did I just damage everything to get him back...
Hi Coach. I had a nasty breakup but used the clean slate message, went into no contact and did the work. Life has been amazing. Next week my ex and I are going on a vacation with another couple. This was planned over 6 months ago and cancelling wasn't an option. She texted me after 4 weeks of no contact: saying that she does not want any drama and just a fun time on the vacation. I responded saying the same and left it there. But later at night I was chilling on the rooftop and send a snapchat of that to a couple people, accidentally sending it to her too! Whats next for me towards and during the vacation?
Hey coach. I wanted to ask: 1. when your ex finally reached back out, at one point is it okay to start discussing the ways in which you’ve changed and things you’ve done to become better? 2. How should you react if your ex messages you earlier than you expected? Perhaps only a few weeks after the break up or a month 3. If I was the one who was dumped, should they be the one to initiate the first “date” out again together? Or me?
1. Show, don’t tell. Talking is you just trying to prove yourself to her. That’s weak behaviour. Trying to prove yourself to someone else just means you view them as superior. You’re putting them on a pedestal. Stop that. 2. Match the energy. Keep it light-hearted but you must continue to let them pursue. Don’t make it easy for them to come back into your life. They need to earn you back. If you’re too invested then they’ll see you as a pushover. 3. If you were dumped, they should be working to earn you back. If you feel that they’re becoming more attracted and they haven’t yet asked you on a date, you can suggest a date. But if they’re hesitant or flaky, pull back again. They’re not ready/of low interest.
@@ThomasP525 hey Thomas, was gonna ask your opinion on this too: if she asks if I’m seeing anyone, what should I say if I’m actually not seeing anyone? Should I say so or just say “it’s not your business” regardless?
@@davidpicarazzi it’s better to get her to think you’re seeing someone else, even if you’re not, because it raises your value in her eyes. If other women are seen to want you, this actually makes you appear as a more attractive option. I would err on the side of mystery and not reveal much in response, should she ask. I’d just say something like “who I’m seeing is not your concern” or simply “that’s not your concern”, and just leave it at that. It’ll keep her guessing (and also that way you’re not outright lying if you’re not).
@@ThomasP525 Hey Thomas. Firstly, thank you for answering the above questions. I've taken some notes. Secondly, how would you react to this scenario: it's the first date out again. Youre both having a good time. She may or may not be in a rebound. Out of no where she says, "by the way, i dont think we can get back together. we're just so incompatible" (as if shes saying it but deep down doesnt want to) or something like "we're good as friends." "can we just be friends?" What would be a response that could work? P.S, would honestly love to send you $5 or something because youve been helpful in answering my questions. Reach out if anything!
My ex tried to say that he talked to his cousin and she thinks we should get back together and what do I think about that. I don’t know if I am ready to commit to him yet so I told him I feel like we need to be friends first and take things slow. Did I mess up telling him that bc his response was No I was just asking…..and I haven’t heard from him since. So it seems like he didn’t like my response. So what do you think I should do now or did I blow it?
My partner of 2 years left me 3 weeks ago because he couldn't see a future withnme and my children (not his kids) despite us talking about a future and planning on moving in together. He is already ignoring my emails so i dont think theres much hope of winning him back.
What if they left because you did something so wrong they finally realised how many times you took them for granted? Should you then act high & mightly and continue rejecting them ? It may not work, not when you fail to show accountability
If this is the case, then apologize if you did something wrong at the breakup snd tell them that you want to work through things together and improve. If they say no then you go NC because at that point you took responsibility and were willing to try and work on it but they still said no. It's now up to them to come back
Would u say the opening comment..."love" attraction ", Does attachment style knowledge and wisdom have a priority just at " attract her first". I can't turn shxt to gold. Rt now it's shxt. So shine as gold...boom.she comes...now what....implement attachment wisdom. .sorta make sense?
I’m not sure anymore, I still want my ex back but she’s unfriended and unfollowed me on everything. She messaged a couple of day ago asking how I’d feel about a closure talk, to which I said I can’t tonight. No after speaking with friend I kinda want to send a an ultimatum text to see if that does anything?
I'm stuck,my sons mom n I been broken up fo4 5 yrs n have cool co parenting but recently she broke up with her man of over 5 yrs becsuse he got caught cheating but we had sex couple weeks ago ,I dunno how to go bout it smh ,,,I caught feelings again but she hasn't
I blew my no contact after 24 days. Snt text via telegram app we used to communicate and she ddnt even read it or went to airplane mode and read it with no reply. I should have stayed with the plan. I was trying to reignite a spark the dan bacon way and fell on my head. Unfortunately there are many coaches out there that say to fo no contact and not to leaving with not knowing where to turn. I feel much better watching your vids coach Blac. You are the real deal
Usually.no contact affects the dumper.betweeb days 45-60. You need to go back and start the count all over again and it will take longer . Ignore insignificant texts. On day 30 of no contact post two plates of food and two glasses of wine to mess with her head or a group of guys and girls standing together. D0nt post any relationship.quores
He has not texted or called but he has sent me cat videos on Instagram about cats 1 or 2xs a week, he knows I love cats lol. I have made no comments about them, don’t really know if I should or not. But I do know he his seeing someone for a little over a month and one of the videos he sent was early on a Monday morning after he posted about a weekend date.
Thanks for watching! To book a 1 on 1 coaching session, click here: calendly.com/breakupcoachtj
does this apply to someone whom you have been dating as well
The frustrating thing about this is to get to a place where this stuff works is to truly move on from your ex. And once you've moved on you dont want them anymore, but that's exactly when they will want you. It seems unfair.
Then u just abuse them like they did to you
@@johannesolofsson221 At that point I don't even care enough for that to be a desirable option. Time is precious and life is too short. I'm on to the next.
@@johannesolofsson221omg 🤣
Not really. They could get married lol. They could find someone when you move on and you both might never speak again. Too many people speak in absolutes. Some exes come back, but I reckon most (by far) do not. They might ask how you are, years down the road, but they might just be curious and have no ulterior motives. I know for a fact my ex won’t ever find a man as handsome and intelligent as me that will want to date her. I’ll sleep comfy every night knowing that I’m dating women way out of her league.
@@Gbb93 Maybe not for you because people dont want you back in their lives. In my case, it doesnt matter if they move on who they move on with married or not, they always try to come back.
Relationships are alot of work. The older i get the less effort im willing to put in.
Guys this is 100% true I experienced this first hand and yes I rejected them when they came running back.
The movie Groundhog Day perfectly illustrates this role reversal of runner and chaser. At first, Phil the main character idolizes this woman and obsesses over getting her, and she keeps rejecting him because he hasn’t worked on himself and doesn’t see his own value. Eventually he repeatedly tries to kill himself and eventually his attitude changes and he starts investing in himself. He learns a lot of new skills and spends time away from her. Then she starts chasing him and the roles reverse. He is respectful to her but declines some of her advances later as he sees his true value. Then in the end, they do a play Christmas auction to bid on the single men, and a bunch of women fight over him, and the leading lady pays every penny she has to win the bid at the auction to get him. This shows how much his value has increased since he stopped chasing women/seeking validation and worked on himself. Then as the dynamic becomes more secure, there is true love between them and they get together and live happily ever after.
Great analogy!👍👌
That's the whole "twin flame" phenomenon.
Listen coach Blac, when my ex started to apologize for "hurting me" at the dinner table, I simply stopped her and said "Hey, shit happens right?" smiled, and ordered us both a drink. Chatted about her life a bit, kept myself mysterious. By the end of that evening she asked me "how did you get so smart?" and was all over me. Just politely tell them you aren't interested in being pitied. You have value!
How did you get so smart? Easy! Copped all this gear at WalMart. *hands her a pop tart*
This is why you ignore breadcrumbs aka insignificant texts
It's not always easy, because it can come in the form of a phone call, and they are really missing you "in the moment".. So it appears significant. But they disappear for months. I had to learn the hard way, as my avoidant ex did that over 15 months so the last time, I decided to ignore. Although it sounded much more vulnerable than before, but not clear and apologetic enough.
I listen to Lucia the art of love. She says I'd they call and don't leave a message don't respond. She says they must be humble and willing to be vulnerable. It is hard to know what to ignore and not...I'm struggling with it now
@@crystalclimenhage7159 I also listened to her she responded to my specific situation and said it was breadcrumbs. When he was texting way more vulnerable things than before (he's avoidant). I think it depends on the context, and you only know if they are being more real and humble. Context was for me that he called me and we chatted (I was friendly but distant), and he disappeared for months after that. So the 3 rd time, I decided to ignore and listened to Lucia.
In doubt it's better to ignore as so many dumpers come from an ego place when they reach out, and are still undecided. But if it sounds "real" and it's not a pattern of bread crumbing, I would respond but with caution and keep my cards close to my chest.
After 4months of no contact she finally reached out and unblocked me. Guys no contact really works, she confessed a lot of things and asked me to forgive her for her to find peace
😢😢😢 I want my ex back
With all due respect coach, some ex's make up in their mind they are done with you and want to move on, In life sometimes people out grow us whether we like it or not. Hope is a beautiful thing but reality and logic must set in. As hard as it is just try to move on, just make it one day at a time til you're feeling more healed than hurt.
Whether they move on or not, if you want them back or not, you must let them go. I have said in multiple videos, no contact is not about forcing anything. Allow them to come to you. And if they don’t, your mindset should be, it is still for the best
@@blacademichi how do I talk to you one on one
@@jabraisiahbrown6350click the first link in the description to see my availability
@blacademic I hear one dating coach that also says to ignore breadcrumbs until they say something significant...because they reach out and when you respond they will ignore you. My ex reached put 2.weeks ago and I haven't responded and now I'm anxious. He didn't do a clean break uo tho. How do I get a coaching session with you?
100 percent but sometimes those people confirm that decision themselves in their head but when communicating with the other person they leave it up in the air by saying things like “for now it’s best we remain single, but who knows what the future holds” obviously I’m speaking from personal experience lol but transparency and clear cut communication “that it’s over for good” is better than stringing someone along.
Lol blocked her, it's a month now still in no contact. Guess what the relationship was exalted because of me, I brough happiness into her life, so now that is gone. She decided to left, I still doing fine, have my light, got God on my side. There's a lot of fish in the sea and guess who is the fisherman? Me 😅
Amen
If they truly loved you they wouldn't have broken up with you in the first place, that's my philosophy on it. But love is not enough he (my ex) would say, well I would have to disagree with that! It IS enough if you make it enough!
I ended it up with my situationship and we had sit down heart to heart talk. Hugged it out and said our goodbyes. It felt like this heavy feeling was lifted from my chest. I cried so hard after that then days after I’m good.
How do you feel now?
This is exactly what most people want. The breakup should be like this, not by ignoring or ghosting others.
This human being game is so horrible.
Its psychology
She asked me how are you i said im good.. and thats great!! Oh well ill stop bothering you i said okay
She said ok. Then blocked me 😂
😂😂😂
I like being by myself now
Anytime i want to break my no contact rule, you are always there to talk sense into me. Thank you
No cap I feel the same way. It's been 3 days no contact I know it's not long at all but it's major 4 me
@PeeWeeDaOg any update?
@@PeeWeeDaOgupdate bro?
I rejected so hard the breadcrumbs my ex gave me OVER the course of a few months. Our second breakup felt like a relief since I cried so much when the 1rst breakup happened !Being always there for her wasn't enough, she needed to have her ego flattered, well that's fine. I told her my truth the harsh way, wasn't the most intelligent way to do it regarding my choice of words but since she is the type to not so any introspection about herself as to why most of her other exes reacted the same way I did, I come to the realisation she won't change any time soon and so, I think I did it the way it was supposed to happen. I watch those videos to help on my journey. It has been been a few months now since complete SR and I am feeling more and more at peace with myself.
My ex wife ghosted me a month ago Christmas day she calls begging to see me at 3am. We had Great sex she called me 10 times the next day i didn't answer. We can end on that note 😂
GANGSTA SH*** THATS WHAT I DID, 🤣🤣 I even took the “back door” on her
Lol😂😂 nice
Pump and dump and return to streets, lol.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
Same here man. 5 years is so many memories. So much time for someone to up and leave. For me I get hit with “I don’t see you in my future anymore and I have been crushing on someone else” I tried to fix it n it left me broken. But it gets better. I moved n got a new job. It’s helped but it doesn’t stop the flow of memories. You will see her in everyone, everywhere. But get to know new people. Pick up a part time job at a local store or restaurant. You have a void to fill so might as well fill it with as much opportunity to better yourself as u can get. Go no contact and give it time. If she is the one who wronged you. Then the chances are higher she comes back. Just be prepared for the possibility. I hope you get better soon man.
I’m not sure I wanna go back to them , but I still love them but I don’t wanna go through that pain again and my ego is still hurt and hanging on . I feel like I just what the satisfaction of them knowing they lost me, not because I want them back and that’s not a good feeling
Yeah , atleast we should get that much … its very hurting losing ur loved one’s .
Time is your best bet. Time and patience. You'll feel better. IF they choose to come back round and you're treating them as more of a friend and not rushing to reply, being happy but kinda nonchalant, then you'll also see if you even truly want that. Often we end up either not wanting them back, or they don't come back, and better comes along so we end up really glad they didn't. Love isn't enough. Respect and being treated well is.
@@kimberbites i want get rid of her …. Kind of revenge . Dont want her in life anymore . But my heart wont ready to accept that i dont want her. Not able to stop thinking about her
Brother blac, you're 100% correct.
Rejecting my "husband" who left me 8 months ago then returned but still sleeping in separate rooms is like forcing a vegan to eat red meat. I just want my husband back😥😥.
Same! But he moved out 😢
Me and my husband sleeping in separate rooms too
Hugs for all of you. 😢😢
Glad you even MADE it that far into your relationship. Good luck honey.
God bless your marriages ♥️♥️♥️
Wow! I got a text at 1am saying I miss you 😂
Wow nice brother. How long did you apply no contact?
@@glorytoGod0207Mine literally contacts me from time to time while being with a rebound. Wanted another chance, rejected and wanted to be friends later down the road, and got rejected again. 😂
@@glorytoGod0207 almost 2 months
I’ve been in no contact for a long time bro I wish I can use a spell to get her back
Stick to No Contact, it works. By then, you’ll probably not be interested any longer.
My girlfriend said doesn't want to get back with me i said its cool i understand and wish you all the best goodbye x. I feel so proud listening to you makes me feel empowered so i feel amazing just secured a 80000 a year job my lifes on the up her total lose.thank you so much your videos are amazing
My ex wife after 17 yrs divorced. I was always kind helped her agreed for everything she wanted then one day she just went off on me for no reason ands told me to lose her number.....I did 2 yrs have gone by never heard from her since. I have colleague who is a psychologist......he said its not that they hate you....its that they hate what they have become.
Sounds like she wad cheating.
💯 I can see that
I'm sorry to hear this, change happens as we age and people do as well, your wife might have out grew the marriage and wanted something different, it's not right by any means but when people have made their minds up there is nothing we can do about it. I know starting over after 17 years will be a challenge, but I pray she comes to her senses or someone else comes along after all none of us really wants to grow old alone.
@@rashidarowe7882 people dont outgrow they just differentiate. "Outgrowing" is a lame excuse to move on from a relationship you just dont think you can do anymore. Same people who say this shit become worse in life and following relationships. It's a fact. Not saying you cant outgrow someone and that it doesn't happen but most times it's a copout.
@@CiluhStyle1 exactly what I was just about to say... I glad that I'm not the only one who think that say things like this are full of shit... Frightened little children what they are.
I wish I made the effort to search for advice 6 months ago. I am glad that I find your videos.
Then you say "ah ah ah a relationship is no longer on the table" made me laugh.😂. Thanks for the advice. ❤️
Same😂😂😂🙌
All of your videos have been a big help coach, really appreciate you!
Yes of course there are more opportunities but it’s not the person u wanted to be with. It’s not that person u wanted to end up with.
This is very true. Saw my ex at a party just this Friday and he walked up to me to talk. I told him outrightly I DONT KNOW HIM AND HE SHOULD NOT TALK TO ME so he doesn’t burn my candle. He left the party earlier cos he felt uncomfortable. Guess what? He has sent his whole fam members to be begging me 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Sounds like a very immature way to react on both of your parts. Sounds like a toxic relationship to me
@@bootyjoelYea I agree. Idk what’s funny about that either. Sounds immature.
Look girl if he hurt you to the bone you did what you did. Immature or not as these people claim, if it makes u feel good that's it.
That was horrible 😮
i think thats funny as hell😂😂😂
you give really good advise..and im taking notes.My ex broke up with ne and came back to me in 31 days and he wants to move fast and get back with me but however im being reserve and making sure he earns me back.i love your videos
My girl left me after 5 years of being together she told me that she realised that at my age i cannot treat her how she wants to be treated and that she doesnt want to be understanding anymore. Im honestly struggling with this cz i have sacrificed so much for her and her family. At times id even go broke so that id meet her needs. I feel so bad cz i was so vested in the relationship i love her so much. 2 days after our break up she moved on with this older guy and i saw her posting she was on vacation . It really hurts me so much knowing we had plans for the future together but she just left and moved on that quickly. I honestly dont know what to do, been crying by myself trying to absorb all this shock
I'm sorry, you will get someone who deserves you,she will regret later but that's none of your business
Thank you. You give me not only wisdom but power. I’m a lady of a more mature age. Wish I would have known about you sooner
You also have to realize that mental health illness issues are very real. To want a person to be obsesseing over you definitely falls in that category. They basically are stalkers. Once you break up with a person, things aren't ever going to be the same. You aren't ever going to get those feelings again. We have to face reality when the relationship has ran it's course.
When my ex decided I wasn't good enough, i let go. I don't go back. Let's assume things were perfect when you met and she moved on. She'll do it again.
It’s always great to see and hear that an Ex who dumped someone will beg to come back. But I’m reality, most woman and some men leave after they already monkey branched to someone else. When that happens they most likely will not come back. Women leave a relationship 80% of the time. They’ve been thinking about it as coach said for months. Although they regret it, what’s the time they do not come back. It’s sad but it’s true.
What does monkey branching mean?
@@sams517just hopping to another relationship
Nice video. Elevate to a better version of yourself! There's no go back to how it was because obviously that didn't work
Always elevate and never chase
Too many immature boys out there. I can’t be bothered with the lies.
If you reach the point that you deeply and sincerely don't fear losing your ex then it means you don't love her/him. Fear in itself is not something bad or a sign of weakness, weakness is letting fear control your actions.
I disagree. When you have balanced your own energy, you stop fearing loss. You learn to accept it. Love is a force. We use the energy of love to act. When someone acts in love towards us, we do the same in kind. People choose to stay to experience that exchange. We don't have to fear them leaving.
This is a recipe for getting cheated on and never finding out. Anyone afraid of losing a partner will put up with anything for fear of losing them
Fear is good when it can stop you from doing something bad.
Never need anyone 🔑
My ex reach out after 2 months talking about how much he miss me and love and life wasn’t the same with out me I rejected him because he will say if you like to talk we can. I didn’t belive he was genuine so I rejected him two weeks later my friend saw him in public with a girl holding hands is so heart breaking I’m sure he moved on and will never call again.
Guys are straight up-you either want it, or you dont. You play games while we are very literal and will say damn, i tried-next.
Coach blac..thanks for your help....you're among the best YT coaches!!! You're one of my 2 preferred coaches among the dozens on YT 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Best coach in the business
You are full of wisdom my brother.Discovered your channel today and I sorely believe God really wanted you to speak into my life. You have said all that l need to hear to close the dramatic relationship am in.Haven’t had the power to prove my worth.A new chapter here to be written. It’s going to be a slow ride.l am so excited for my future self.Thanks so very for all you do.
I know that my ex who dumped me and treated me very disrespectfuly is gonna try to come back one day after I'm a successful musician. (She floated the idea 3 seperate times during our breakup conversation getting back with me a few years down the road from now after we've both worked on ourselves) I hope so bad I tell her no. She would deserve it. She's put me thru so much grief.
One of your best videos, thank you for these. They are really helping me, been no contact about a month now, first couple weeks was limited contact though, short text about a bill we had together is all, but complete no contact for 2 weeks now. She asked a mutual friend how I was doing end of last week.
it's very good advice, very counterintuitive.
He can help you get your x back.....❤😊
Thank you I needed to hear this because I am there he rejected me and I literally just paid my home off my job wants me to manage but I’ve said no for now I am getting my lips done and some Botox for the first time ever and I got compliments on my hair color 3 times today. A massive load was taken off my shoulders by not having a mortgage and since we have kids I guess he’s noticed. He flat out rejected me last year so I stopped all interaction. This is someone I truly loved. I mean 12 years is a long time to go back and fourth. Now he’s calling me everyday usually regarding the kids but unnecessary even made it sound like it was life or death for my daughters science project and literally had me over to use a glue stick she’s 10 she could of done that her self. I’m mad I fell for it. I know he’s going to call tonight he’s been calling the last two weeks. I’m just not gonna answer.
Fantastic advice and it makes all the sense! Thanks very much!
This is the problem that I’m going through now I reacted to all the breadcrumbs by chasing, and when I try to be strong and say, I can’t just be her friend and end the conversations. She guilt trip me back into it then I end up chasing some more recently, she said we need to at least date other people after I told her I don’t wanna see her with somebody else. That’s why I can’t be friends and she told me she didn’t want to see me with anybody else either. She also has expressed that she’s jealous of everything I do, and whoever I’m with, and that, even though we’re not together, she will always be jealous.
At least ur getting that even tho thats toxic as hell. Mine dont even want to be with me anymore
@@nova12332 tbh as hopeful as it is sometimes. I was doing better when she wasnt reaching out, I was actually just ready to move on with my life. Then she started texting every two days and had me come over for sex, constantly says she needs me and wants to have sex. But now all of a sudden she thinks im seeing other people because i try to stay busy but wont do nth with me. And hits me with the whole “we need to at least try to date other people” but shes “not really interested tbh” then two days later posts a pic of herself looking like shes dressed for a date and is hearting and reacting to some dudes pics and posts that kind of looks similar to me. Now its been 4 days since i last heard from her… shit got me fucked up
You need to focus on healing yourself.
No they wont. Get over it. They dont give a shit period. And my ex contacted me 3 times after i went silent but its all bs.
Lmao
Damn bro
@STARSENMT women are full of shit, after male energy and they seek constant attention. When you cut off their supply of attention they crave , they die.
Everybody situation isn't the same. Look at your own shit for what it is and leave it at that. All you're doing is exposing your own weakness through your perspective on life since you let them define who you are.
Thanks Coach.. again your videos helped my thru my breakup.. it’s been 5months.. after 4 I started talking to him again.. then stopped .. after the last text to him he won’t be reaching out.. I’m good
One problem that guy constantly encounter is that I am not perceived as being high value guy… And my recently departed ex is a high-powered lady. I don’t feel like I can do better than her, because I never have attracted women like that. That makes this situation, specifically different, and a much greater challenge.
Yes, I am going no contact, and I love your videos, and they are very helpful, but my situation seems to be quite specific, and I’m not convinced that I can easily convey that I have options. Because I don’t. Never have.
I think coach would say that’s why she left you… because you’re exuding pity for yourself.
Believe me, I know what it’s like to do that. I’ve been begging and groveling now for weeks and I’m done now. She was attracted to me for years for SOME reason. It’s my job to get back there, and be even better than that.
You do the same, and either she or someone even better will come along. Believe in yourself - I do!
@@truthsmiles
Coaches may say that, but I don’t believe it to be true. This lady didn’t leave me because I am exerting pity for myself. I think she left me because she feels pity for herself, and thinks that eventually I am going to discover her weaknesses, and then leave her. That’s a very different kind of challenge. I’ve been there, I’ve done that, as well.
Another great video Coach Sending gratitude and well wishes from Katie in NY ( we did private sessions a few times)
That’s terrific Katie. This channel is great. I hope all worked out well for you. I’m in NY too. I worked with a different coach myself.
Your best video yet
I done no contact after weeks of back and forwarding with my Ex,I made the decision I need to let her go, she messaged me a week later saying she missed me which I wasn’t expecting at all , I ended up slipping back into pursuing mode and pushed her away again, I don’t feel like there will be another chance! 👎🏼
Let them go and move on
I feel like self improvement in terms of money does wonders for men and their exes but for women it’s more complicated.
Great! This really gave me a wake up call thanks coach❤
every situation is different, with different factors. nearly 4 weeks, she broke it off with me, just out the blue, but she has stress issues with work and other things, that impacted us, her age and maybe hormones etc.. a few months before everything was ok.. now her feeling changed towards me.. there are other factors as well, that i said we can sort out, but she said its too late, but i dont believe it. i didnt do the no contact rule, i pleaded my case, rang and emailed every other day. but now going to leave it alone, but all very strange. stress imo has caused her to reevalute everything in her life. but lke you have said blac, its how they feel in this moment. hopefully it subsides. its so hard to deal with 😢
What about situations where the person who initiated the breakup had no other choice, because the other person refused to change their toxic behavior? Most the videos seem to be to help the person who's been dumped, not the other way around
I tried with my ex of 5 years to feel emotionally safe with him so I can be open without him dismissing my feelings, telling me i'm crazy, and gaslighting me. Nothing worked. I had to call it off, had no other choice. We even tried couple's therapy, and still no growth. I know he still wants a relationship with me, but he's the type to tell me he loves me, then follow it up with "you stupid b*tch" . Not sure if he'll change...most people by now i think would've had some type of realization that their ways aren't gonna work?
Plz tell me how your getting on, I’m in the same situation iv had to let it go, he’s so selfish and doesn’t know how to show real love and affection, things he says just hurts and I’m meant to stay around, my relationship is 4yrs! I think he’s emotionally unavailable it’s so hard work xx
I love this information ❤🎉❤
God bless u
We moved a bit too fast. Got a place together and she was not ready for that. But, she didn’t communicate that with me. So, we moved in. During the first week she wasn’t being herself. Saying she was overwhelmed and things of that nature. So eventually she lied about speaking with another male co worker outside of work. I confronted her about it and asked what’s going on. She came clean said they were just talking and nothing went down at all. She was giving him a females perspective on his issues. Next thing you know she is addressing things with the guy the next week and let him know she was in a relationship with me. Then the next day she says she needs space and is talking to this guy again smh. I blew her phone up and was obviously upset. But, she is saying the way I reacted wasn’t cool and wasn’t right. But when I confronted her about lying to me I forgave her out of love. So this past week we broke up. Now I have to move again.
Wow wow wow so so powerful x
If your ex wanted you she wouldn't have dumped you
And all she has to do if not already is go on dating apps and be showered with people
Saying they want them but if your good kind and decent then there the horrible one not you
Dear coach Black that message was the bom bro !
This is great information!! Thank you. Right on time.
My ex text me last saturday night. after 3 months. She asked me are u available. Can i come to you? i said yes and we made sex, sleep together, than she woke up and gone.We didnt talk since that night. Did i do a mistake?
Hi cough he is currently doing that to me and I did just that he told he misses me, what he does he will chart then disappear but I will continue with my no contact then he video calls I ignore get back to him later, wow this staff happens. So what do I do now. I am so excited coz the tables are turning.
I did that he stil rejected me again after showing how beautiful my home have become and me in social media, even efter 1 year , No contact didnt seen to work. He is avoidant btw
amazing message
Much Love from Kenya
Followed all of Coach Blacks advice to a T, literally done everything taught from the get-go since day one of the breakup...7 months tomorrow and still have heard nothing.
You haven't truly moved on. Focus on working on yourself, No contact is more for you to heal , to let go and move on. Don't give up trust in the process.
I agree, you haven’t moved on yet. 7 months is a long time. What got me over it was the fact that he didn’t see my value and I know what I bring to the table. I don’t take offense to the break up as he wasn’t ready for it. I know the connection we have but we both have work to do to even be together again.
@@journeyomega7193 Oh I've been focusing on other things, new job, new apartment, been building a passion project I've been working on for decades...I never begged, never was needy, was always encouraging, I always listened and never ever ever raised my voice, and nothing, not a peep.
@@jlady1595 just for clarification, who are you, your handle is something familiar
I went no contact for 1 and half week then he started watching my status and liking them but i ignored it, the next thing i saw he texted me asking me if im ok. I said ya and went back on no contact upto now. He still watches my social media but i ignore him. Before he was ghosting and ignoring manipulated me till i was fade up, i let him go his way i detached my efforts. I think he didn't see my value or appreciated me. But i dont care anymore and i wont break no contact again.
Wow, this is a really great video, it speaks volumes to me. Its true that when in doubt, always look to Coach Blac 👍🏼... My only preoccupation is if it has arrived late in my reconsilliacion journey. I feel like as soon as my ex started reconsidering her choice and reestablishing our relationship, I gave her the whole relationship back. Can anyone give me any advice on how to repair this damage. 😢
Id say its too late but I guess you could try pulling back and seeing where that gets you
Good morning,
I really needed to see this video.
My ex girlfriend friend and I have broken up for 18 months, and she has been in new relationship for over a year.
However since March, my ex girlfriend and I have been texting and talking on the phone. Matter of fact she has reached out to me on Father's Day and 4th July. On one occasion she asked me, have I thought about her during the break up. She also agreed to meet me for coffee, but she postponed the coffee meet.
As I mentioned she reached out to me on Father's Day and the 4th July. However my birthday was in July, but she didn't reach out. Matter of fact I haven't heard from her in over 2 weeks.
I'm so over her!! I've blocked her!! She is so immature!!
I've been there bro, whenever they reach out it's just to win over your attention and to know where they stand in your life. Hope next time if she reaches out to you maybe with another account That you ignore her
@@davidtisane4163 Man it's ridiculous for a 50 year old woman to move like that. I feel sorry for her. Matter of fact, I feel sorry for her new boyfriend. I wonder how he would feel if I showed him those text messages she sent me.
@@davidtisane4163true🙏👍
Great video bro I needed that
Amazing coach 🙏
There are so many videos that speaks to the dumpee. Would love to see videos that speaks to the dumper.
It is much easier. You got all the power, now you need to approach the dumpee with humility, vulnerability, and ask to talk or meet up. You express regret and prove you've understood the mistake and have grown. You apologise. The worst thing would be breadcrumbing and expecting Dumpee to get the hint and do the work. Good luck
@@MissSarahGM I broke up with her because she had some things things that i couldnt accept about her. I did it because i wanted to let her know that i rather be without her than having to deal with those things that bothers me a lot. Unless she changes im not willing to take her back. But how do i know she will change if i reach out to her? Ill take the dumpee approach her and wait for her to contact me if she ever does. And if she doesnt she would never change those things and our relationship wouldnt last. Your thoughts?
@@zlatanibrahimovic5746 I see. If those things are still a dealbreaker for you, and are bad behaviours of hers.. And you have expressed it clearly. Then it's like you are the dumpee, and need to wait for her to contact you. But it really depends what you are talking about here.
@@MissSarahGM She likes to dress "slutty" at different occasions, She smokes pot, does not work out and take care of herself, puts almost no effort in our relationship, She expects me to take care of her like a boyfriend and dad at the same time. While she is too lazy to put effort in. Sounds horrible right?
@@zlatanibrahimovic5746 Was she this way when you met her? It isn't ideal but it would be worse if she "acted" slutty. If she was this way when you met her and now you don't accept her, it's on you. People only change if they want to. And what you describe is someone who is not doing well psychologically. It's her way of coping. Instead you can inspire to change and "get better" because you care for her. All you can tell her is that you think she needs help and address her depression. It's a more caring perspective and not judging her.
If all was already said, then you can only wait.
Thanks again for great advice Peter UK
Thanks for watching
Hello coach. Hope this message finds you well. I broke up with my ex a week ago and been in no contact. He reached out to me twice to check on me. Now he messaged me and asked to meet before he move to Texas and I know it’s a true thing. I told him ok. But now my heart aches what is that means. Is this really over? What should I do💔
I deserve better, but there aint noone my type in my country.
Some how can't see this happening she has put it all over Facebook she is with someone else the thing is we are still married but the truth is they dont care the pain they cause as long as there happy well bloody good luck to her hope it goes tits up rebounds dont work never have and never will do
Your time to be happy will come too with or without her. Just stay strong and never show the hurt.
They're weird and I don't love none of them. How can you express that too them?
I don’t want to have contact with her. We have a kid together and my mom watches him for us. I’m currently living with my mom. She said 50/50 with our son but she doesn’t want to take our son to daycare bc she don’t trust none of them. My mom only wants to watch him a whole week for me not when is her turn. What do I do?
Great video thank you
He recently left me a week ago....😢....
I tried I begged...I promised to change everything about myself for him ...I feel IV made a huge mistake.....did I just damage everything to get him back...
Hi Coach. I had a nasty breakup but used the clean slate message, went into no contact and did the work. Life has been amazing.
Next week my ex and I are going on a vacation with another couple. This was planned over 6 months ago and cancelling wasn't an option. She texted me after 4 weeks of no contact: saying that she does not want any drama and just a fun time on the vacation. I responded saying the same and left it there. But later at night I was chilling on the rooftop and send a snapchat of that to a couple people, accidentally sending it to her too! Whats next for me towards and during the vacation?
Keep a positive mind, believe she doesn't care about the snap and that y'all are having a great time
Have fun, and hook up.
Hey coach. I wanted to ask:
1. when your ex finally reached back out, at one point is it okay to start discussing the ways in which you’ve changed and things you’ve done to become better?
2. How should you react if your ex messages you earlier than you expected? Perhaps only a few weeks after the break up or a month
3. If I was the one who was dumped, should they be the one to initiate the first “date” out again together? Or me?
1. Show, don’t tell. Talking is you just trying to prove yourself to her. That’s weak behaviour. Trying to prove yourself to someone else just means you view them as superior. You’re putting them on a pedestal. Stop that.
2. Match the energy. Keep it light-hearted but you must continue to let them pursue. Don’t make it easy for them to come back into your life. They need to earn you back. If you’re too invested then they’ll see you as a pushover.
3. If you were dumped, they should be working to earn you back. If you feel that they’re becoming more attracted and they haven’t yet asked you on a date, you can suggest a date. But if they’re hesitant or flaky, pull back again. They’re not ready/of low interest.
@@ThomasP525 this is awesome. Thank you
@@ThomasP525 hey Thomas, was gonna ask your opinion on this too: if she asks if I’m seeing anyone, what should I say if I’m actually not seeing anyone? Should I say so or just say “it’s not your business” regardless?
@@davidpicarazzi it’s better to get her to think you’re seeing someone else, even if you’re not, because it raises your value in her eyes. If other women are seen to want you, this actually makes you appear as a more attractive option.
I would err on the side of mystery and not reveal much in response, should she ask. I’d just say something like “who I’m seeing is not your concern” or simply “that’s not your concern”, and just leave it at that. It’ll keep her guessing (and also that way you’re not outright lying if you’re not).
@@ThomasP525 Hey Thomas. Firstly, thank you for answering the above questions. I've taken some notes. Secondly, how would you react to this scenario: it's the first date out again. Youre both having a good time. She may or may not be in a rebound. Out of no where she says, "by the way, i dont think we can get back together. we're just so incompatible" (as if shes saying it but deep down doesnt want to) or something like "we're good as friends." "can we just be friends?" What would be a response that could work?
P.S, would honestly love to send you $5 or something because youve been helpful in answering my questions. Reach out if anything!
Thank you very much
My ex tried to say that he talked to his cousin and she thinks we should get back together and what do I think about that. I don’t know if I am ready to commit to him yet so I told him I feel like we need to be friends first and take things slow. Did I mess up telling him that bc his response was No I was just asking…..and I haven’t heard from him since. So it seems like he didn’t like my response. So what do you think I should do now or did I blow it?
My partner of 2 years left me 3 weeks ago because he couldn't see a future withnme and my children (not his kids) despite us talking about a future and planning on moving in together. He is already ignoring my emails so i dont think theres much hope of winning him back.
What if they left because you did something so wrong they finally realised how many times you took them for granted? Should you then act high & mightly and continue rejecting them ? It may not work, not when you fail to show accountability
If this is the case, then apologize if you did something wrong at the breakup snd tell them that you want to work through things together and improve. If they say no then you go NC because at that point you took responsibility and were willing to try and work on it but they still said no. It's now up to them to come back
A female "peacock" is called a peahen 😁
Haha thanks for the education my friend
Would u say the opening comment..."love" attraction ",
Does attachment style knowledge and wisdom have a priority just at " attract her first". I can't turn shxt to gold. Rt now it's shxt. So shine as gold...boom.she comes...now what....implement attachment wisdom. .sorta make sense?
I’m not sure anymore, I still want my ex back but she’s unfriended and unfollowed me on everything.
She messaged a couple of day ago asking how I’d feel about a closure talk, to which I said I can’t tonight. No after speaking with friend I kinda want to send a an ultimatum text to see if that does anything?
I'm stuck,my sons mom n I been broken up fo4 5 yrs n have cool co parenting but recently she broke up with her man of over 5 yrs becsuse he got caught cheating but we had sex couple weeks ago ,I dunno how to go bout it smh ,,,I caught feelings again but she hasn't
I blew my no contact after 24 days. Snt text via telegram app we used to communicate and she ddnt even read it or went to airplane mode and read it with no reply. I should have stayed with the plan. I was trying to reignite a spark the dan bacon way and fell on my head. Unfortunately there are many coaches out there that say to fo no contact and not to leaving with not knowing where to turn. I feel much better watching your vids coach Blac. You are the real deal
Usually.no contact affects the dumper.betweeb days 45-60. You need to go back and start the count all over again and it will take longer . Ignore insignificant texts. On day 30 of no contact post two plates of food and two glasses of wine to mess with her head or a group of guys and girls standing together. D0nt post any relationship.quores
@@crystalclimenhage7159
I did a similar thing and broke no contact after 7 days in.
Yes that was my mistake last time and messed and again no contact
He has not texted or called but he has sent me cat videos on Instagram about cats 1 or 2xs a week, he knows I love cats lol. I have made no comments about them, don’t really know if I should or not. But I do know he his seeing someone for a little over a month and one of the videos he sent was early on a Monday morning after he posted about a weekend date.