Pre-marriage Confusions: What Should I Ask Her or Him?

แชร์
ฝัง
  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 4 พ.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 113

  • @safiyaosman1285
    @safiyaosman1285 4 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    I thought he was Mufti Menk. Jazaakallahu khayran! Sheik.

  • @sabrinabieber1019
    @sabrinabieber1019 6 ปีที่แล้ว +184

    IDK Why I'm watching this. I am 16 yr old.

    • @fisebilillah4406
      @fisebilillah4406 6 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      sabrina Bieber
      It is good that you know it in advance.

    • @idrisssadik5776
      @idrisssadik5776 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      It’s a

    • @idrisssadik5776
      @idrisssadik5776 6 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      sabrina Bieber it will
      Help you by the time you decide to get married you will be able to have a lot of answers

    • @peacebeuponyou510
      @peacebeuponyou510 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@FarzanaHaq1 May Allah swt grant u righteous spouse ya rab ameen

    • @nawale8607
      @nawale8607 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I wish at 16y I was interested by this type of videos.. Keep all the pieces of advice in mind you will surely need it :)

  • @pearls2733
    @pearls2733 4 ปีที่แล้ว +42

    This is actually a very good answer. Only the two people know what they want in a marriage and in a spouse. I would say the things we ask Allah in our duas with regards to a spouse should form the basis of your questions. For example if you are always making dua to Allah to give you a husband/wife who is righteous/practising then you would need to ask questions regarding their salah, whether they fast/ wear hijab. Or if you have been praying for a wealthy husband who can take care of you comfortably then you would ask about his job/earnings, whether he has a house etc.
    Personally, I would advise couples to live in their own house and not with inlaws as that cause a lot of issues in the marriage.

  • @renatina1217
    @renatina1217 6 ปีที่แล้ว +166

    Yeah but what about seeing through potential spouses that are good liars and fakers that pretend to be someone that has the same life goals? I find that a lot of potential candidates will say whatever you want to hear to marry you.

    • @s.abidullah6793
      @s.abidullah6793 6 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Renatina tell your parents to inquiry about the man in his nearer mosque.that the IMAM knows him or not by showing his pic (to know he goes to mosque or not). Goal can be different but if he fears ALLAH .he wont do injustice with you IN SHA ALLAH.

    • @AksamZarook
      @AksamZarook 6 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Yea, true, people can fake anything now. He didn't answer that side. And expecting parents to inquire into proposal is a joke. Parents are not familiar with todays ways and tech. They'll miss lot you wake up to discover after marriage.

    • @samivanov5862
      @samivanov5862 5 ปีที่แล้ว +51

      Asalamu Alaikom, The Imam at your mosque or your parents can't find all the answers for you, as you are getting to know the brother you should pay very close attention to him. How does he treat his parents, strangers, friends, waiter, etc. Is he the type to keep a relationship with a family member who has cut him off because this is his responsibility? Does he talk the talk and back bite everyone? Who are his friends? Does he swear a lot? One thing I realized is that nobody can fake not swearing, think about it have you ever met a person who doesn't swear that is a bad person? There could be some yes, but the majority are pretty good or have a good foundation. I know people who go to the mosque more than me, go to Omra and Haj but they can't stop swearing. I was in a car once with someone blasting Hip Hop and he was talking about going to Haj. Does he listen to music that has content about drinking, fornication, swearing, backbiting, violence, etc. When he is in a group of people does he stay silent because he does not want to participate in useless chatter. Do you see him by himself a lot just busy doing stuff? Does he go out of his way to learn Arabic, or go to a lecture on a Friday night? So you see a brother at a lecture on a Friday night, he comes with a pen and a notebook, he asks questions that come out of deep reflection. Does he chase money? Does he love working so much that he neglects his religion and family? Does he take a lower paying job because it gives him Fridays off because he does not want to miss Friday Prayers? Sometimes it's not you, some brothers are shy and there is nothing wrong with that, they are shy and confident and that's the way it should be. The problem is people don't like to put people together because they don't want to be responsible if there is a divorce. What I would suggest is that instead of going to the Imam asking for a reference, go to him and ask him if he knows a brother that asks really deep questions, that is consistent at his lectures, and shows him utmost respect. At that point, he might see a this brother who is always there on a Friday night with the note pad asking all these questions, and the Imam can start building a relationship with him and seeing who he is. When he does, honestly just go down in sujood and just ask Allah please make him a good mate for me. Good luck sister and may Allah bless you,

    • @mianatwood
      @mianatwood 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      😂😂

    • @ArdoBlueMoon
      @ArdoBlueMoon 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      First of all, nothing we say is 100% fool proof, but try asking questions for which there is no right or wrong answer, which doesn't give away what you expect. Also, you can ask other people who know this person, watch the little things about them like how they interact with everyone, do they show manners, if they want something how do they ask.
      I would advise not to rush into a marriage after just seeing them once, unless you can be sure about their nature and family background and what sort of person they are. A person may lie once, but it's hard to remember and keep up that lies after a number of occasions. Of course, do Dua al Istikharah to make the good path easy and the bad path hard. InshAllah, everything will be good. :)
      By the way, your question is such an important one and whenever I used to hear a sheikh say don't do haram, get married as soon as possible- the same question would bug me.

  • @rashidhumine
    @rashidhumine 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Great advice, I actually had a vision/goal years ago but over time I forgot, so thank you for the reminder :)

  • @yoyoyazzy
    @yoyoyazzy 6 ปีที่แล้ว +59

    I’ve got to be completely honest, this is the first Islamic video on marriage that I have come across advising this but it makes sense! Now the difficulty of trying to figure out what your life’s purpose is ... that’s a big one :/

    • @mrquija
      @mrquija 6 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Purpose in life is to obey Allah and follow the directions of the Prophet PBUH. To better oneself in action and speech, to do whats right and avoid what is wrong for you internally and externally. To make your life better and those around you. To fight temptations which will corrupt and destroy ones soul. To teach and help others whenever and where ever you can for the sake of Allah. Death is a reality and when we die that's when the test is over. So make use of your time. Acquire islamic knowledge and try to use it as best as you can. Salam = ]

    • @ghafranhaque7161
      @ghafranhaque7161 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Your purpose in life is to worship Allah...thats in the Quran. Before getting marry try to study your deen a bit more first

    • @no.964
      @no.964 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@ghafranhaque7161 exactly

  • @safihersi8853
    @safihersi8853 6 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    GREAT ADVICE. THANK YOU. - KNOW YOURSELF, AND WHAT YOU WANT FROM LIFE AND PARTNERS

  • @talayyah8289
    @talayyah8289 6 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    Alhamdulillah, I appreciate this video so much, may Allah Grant you His mercy. Ameen. I'm watching from Jamaica by the way lol

  • @lorrblacky5531
    @lorrblacky5531 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Thanks for this piece of knowledge! Allah is the best of providers!

  • @blinkuwu2273
    @blinkuwu2273 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    This is really a good lecture. May Allah bless us!

  • @randoomly39484
    @randoomly39484 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Fast and Efficient. Wonderful explanation ! Ma shaa allah 3lik !

  • @muntahabajwa8572
    @muntahabajwa8572 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    oh soooo confusing . have trust on Allah . recite dua e istakhara . only Allah knows what's inside the other person . Always pray for your good fate

  • @Conan-bf8ln
    @Conan-bf8ln 6 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Thank you this helped me with understanding what I want ❤️

  • @annael8442
    @annael8442 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Mashallah thank you so much for this advice. It has given me so much wisdom and inner peace. Alhamdullilah

  • @mohamedsuhail3365
    @mohamedsuhail3365 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Good advise sheik.. Jazak Allah khair

  • @loveneverends9605
    @loveneverends9605 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    EXCELLENT POINT!!! Thank you, Sheikh!

  • @hikmatadewuyi4293
    @hikmatadewuyi4293 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    JazakaLLah khayrain

  • @usamazafar123
    @usamazafar123 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Jazāk Allāhu Khayran for such a nice advice.

  • @ibnamanot
    @ibnamanot 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    my question is how to have that head cover pointy and folded like that in the middle, the one I have does not fold like that in the middle...

    • @hibam6299
      @hibam6299 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Fold in half and iron. When you put it on your head it will make a point

  • @mudasserahmed6242
    @mudasserahmed6242 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    ُﺍﻟﺴَّـــــــﻼَﻡُ ﻋَﻠَﻴــْــﻜُﻢ ﻭَﺭَﺣْﻤَﺔُ ﺍﻟﻠﻪِ ﻭَﺑَﺮَﻛـَـﺎﺗ
    جزاك اللهُ خيرًا

  • @Filosofia.Islamica
    @Filosofia.Islamica 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    What i should ask in first place? "Do you want to get married"? Hhahaha today nobody say "yes" ...so difficult!

    • @sishajara3972
      @sishajara3972 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      For its so frustrating everyone just want to date

  • @ProffAsabri
    @ProffAsabri 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Perfectly explained

  • @nidaqureshi5503
    @nidaqureshi5503 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I think I don't have any life vision at this point I'm like I'll marry any one and will live a life as a happy wife and will be good Muslim but this sounds so not fun to ppl they just leaving me 😭😭😭

    • @mariamabshir1765
      @mariamabshir1765 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Hi, a piece of advice. You should have your own life and practices. You should be your own person and have goals. Men are attracted to women like that. Nobody will never want to be with someone who doesn’t have a purpose. He might marry you but both of yu will never reach your full potential in your marriage life.
      You need to set some goals , be independent, have a career or a business. When a man comes to you , he will have his own life too . You will continue to grow together.
      But if you have no life and you do nothing he will get bored and look for a woman with a purpose because he wants to rise and with you he cant.
      I hope it all makes sense.

    • @redpearl8821
      @redpearl8821 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@mariamabshir1765 why are you advising her like that. Actually it’s better if she wanna be housewife and trust me there is ton of men that would want a women like her. We women were made to be housewife and it’s better for us whatever you like or not. I hope that @nida Qureshi will have her dream and trust me you will find a lot men that would love to marry you. They are dying to find a women who will take care of the house while they work to earn a living for the family.

    • @rabbithole8592
      @rabbithole8592 ปีที่แล้ว

      And those who no longer expect menstruation among your women - if you doubt, then their period is three months, and [also for] those who have not menstruated. And for those who are pregnant, their term is until they give birth. And whoever fears Allah - He will make for him of his matter ease. - Quran 65:4 (Sahih International Translation).
      Would you let a 51 yr old man marry your 6 yr old child?
      Would you allow a 54 yr old man rape your 9 yr old Daughter?
      Would you marry a 6yr old child and rape her when she was 9yrs old?
      For the love God Muslims, read your Quran and Haddiths.
      Allah said he only made it look like Jesus was crucified, for Allah is the best of decievers. So either way he's a deciever. And to decieve is to be dishonest. Lie.
      Allah, the Best Deceiver (Qur'an 3:54)
      Your god Admits he's a liar. Father of all lies. Satan!
      Mohammed was a war mongering murdering pedophile rapist who forced a 6yr old Aisha into marriage when he was 50yrs old and raped her when she was 9yrs old. Aishas father didn't even approve of Mohammed marrying Aisha. A 6yr old cannot consent to marriage and a 9yr old cannot consent to sex.
      “The Prophet [ﷺ] married Aisha when she was six years old and he consummated his marriage when she was nine years old.” - The revered Sahih al-Bukhari, 5134; Book 67, Hadith 70.
      Narrated 'Urwa:
      The Prophet (ﷺ) asked Abu Bakr for `Aisha's hand in marriage. Abu Bakr said "But I am your brother." The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "You are my brother in Allah's religion and His Book, but she (Aisha) is lawful for me to marry."
      حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ اللَّهِ بْنُ يُوسُفَ، حَدَّثَنَا اللَّيْثُ، عَنْ يَزِيدَ، عَنْ عِرَاكٍ، عَنْ عُرْوَةَ، أَنَّ النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم خَطَبَ عَائِشَةَ إِلَى أَبِي بَكْرٍ فَقَالَ لَهُ أَبُو بَكْرٍ إِنَّمَا أَنَا أَخُوكَ، فَقَالَ ‏ "‏ أَنْتَ أَخِي فِي دِينِ اللَّهِ وَكِتَابِهِ وَهْىَ لِي حَلاَلٌ ‏"‏‏.‏
      Reference : Sahih al-Bukhari 5081In-book reference : Book 67, Hadith 19.
      Sunan Abi Dawud 2147
      Narrated Umar ibn al-Khattab:
      The Prophet (ﷺ) said: A man will not be asked as to why he beat his wife.
      حَدَّثَنَا زُهَيْرُ بْنُ حَرْبٍ، حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنُ مَهْدِيٍّ، حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو عَوَانَةَ، عَنْ دَاوُدَ بْنِ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ الأَوْدِيِّ، عَنْ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ الْمُسْلِيِّ، عَنِ الأَشْعَثِ بْنِ قَيْسٍ، عَنْ عُمَرَ بْنِ الْخَطَّابِ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ ‏ "‏ لاَ يُسْأَلُ الرَّجُلُ فِيمَا ضَرَبَ امْرَأَتَهُ ‏"‏ ‏.‏
      Grade: Da'if (Al-Albani) ضعيف (الألباني)حكم :
      Reference : Sunan Abi Dawud 2147In-book reference : Book 12, Hadith 102English translation : Book 11, Hadith 2142
      Sahih al-Bukhari 392
      Narrated Anas bin Malik:
      Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "I have been ordered to fight the people till they say: 'None has the right to be worshipped but Allah.' And if they say so, pray like our prayers, face our Qibla and slaughter as we slaughter, then their blood and property will be sacred to us and we will not interfere with them except legally and their reckoning will be with Allah."
      Surah 3:151: "We shall cast terror into the hearts of those who disbelieve (all non-Muslims) …"
      Surah 2:191: "And kill them (non-Muslims) wherever you find them … kill them. Such is the recompense of the disbelievers (non-Muslims)."
      Surah 9:5: "Then kill the disbelievers (non-Muslims) wherever you find them, capture them and besiege them, and lie in wait for them in each and every ambush …"
      Apostasy is a Hudood crime. Execution is traditional punishment for both genders of Muslim apostates. Ja'fari - Male apostates must be executed, while a female apostate must be held in solitary confinement till she repents and returns to Islam.
      Jihad is not self defense. It's offensive. An Islamic army spreading Islam with the sword conquering new lands. Otherwise they never would have stayed in one place instead of spreading outwards. It's common sense. And Islam is a direct attack on Christianity. That's why it was created. To appose Christianity. It's Satan's Army.

  • @Zxter
    @Zxter 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    MashAllah SubanAllah

  • @fairyn89
    @fairyn89 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    subhanALLAH
    wonderful

  • @samar4590
    @samar4590 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    What If your not ready to marry.. But your parents forcing you..

  • @anamwasil5433
    @anamwasil5433 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    How to know someones deen ? Or how much he is inclined to the the islamic thoughts?

  • @_4zad
    @_4zad 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    BIG advice!

  • @ifra99
    @ifra99 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Alhamdulillah, thank you sheikh

  • @amiraayachi5721
    @amiraayachi5721 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you jazaka Allahu khaira dear brother

  • @JDFromAnotherPlanet
    @JDFromAnotherPlanet 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Hi
    How are you?
    What is the best way to find the bride in Europe?

  • @12282827
    @12282827 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Slaam alaikum I just wanted to ask a question regarding marriage. I sent my wife to be her mahr before the nikah is that okay because I read somewhere that you should give it at the time of nikah or after not sure but I gave her to get gold and some clothes as my haq mahr gift. So basically is it okay that I given the mahr before the nikah marriage sp then when imam does nikah I can say that this much amount I sent before as mahr and she brought gold and clothes. So will my nikah still be valid just worried. Let me know thanks much appreciated

  • @yusufrabiu2729
    @yusufrabiu2729 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    جزاكم الله عنا كل بخير

  • @Treasure-bl3cn
    @Treasure-bl3cn 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    And if i dont know who I'm?

  • @kawsutouray4449
    @kawsutouray4449 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Wonderful

  • @monkeycoder7368
    @monkeycoder7368 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Y most of lecture just one-way commucation?

  • @sannam3611
    @sannam3611 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Is this speaker saying at 16/17/18 years old you should know your lifes purpose? Is he for real? That's the age where you experiment and explore life - not have your lifes goal set.
    Nonetheless, I disagree with the conclusion the speaker mentioned. I don't think people are unsure of what questions to ask a potential spouse due to lack of life goals, as I believe its because brothers and sisters want some kind of assurance that they are making the right decision when choosing a spouse and they want to avoid marriage ending in a divorce. They are basically asking 'what fool'proof questions can I ask in order to have a successful marriage'.

  • @sogheeralhassan2542
    @sogheeralhassan2542 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    Masha Allah

  • @JDFromAnotherPlanet
    @JDFromAnotherPlanet 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Which books?

  • @latoshiaclemons1991
    @latoshiaclemons1991 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Is it ok if I stay single as a muslima ?

    • @asmakhanom1475
      @asmakhanom1475 ปีที่แล้ว

      Can u? There's so much fitna. Getting marry fulfil half of our Deen, n its part of sunnah. A normal human being need to get marry, we can't live alone. Just think about prophet Adam, even though he has d happiness of jannah than also he was feeling lonely. Allah knows what is in his heart, without even prayer Allah bless him ma Hawa. Unless someone is physically, financially uncapable should not stop follow our prophet sunnh

  • @ayemsa0647
    @ayemsa0647 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    What's his name?

    • @AksamZarook
      @AksamZarook 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Sheikh Sajid Umar. Was shown at beginning

  • @a_a_a_a_a_a-a
    @a_a_a_a_a_a-a 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    You are wrong in India in such conditions women is easier to get married and men don't get proposal

    • @a_a_a_a_a_a-a
      @a_a_a_a_a_a-a 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Who all are living in world is anti men and too much towards women which is used by women

    • @arcanegamer1397
      @arcanegamer1397 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Wrong I got 11 proposals in 3 days ...

    • @Kofi_Mensahs_BurnerAccount
      @Kofi_Mensahs_BurnerAccount 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@arcanegamer1397 did you choose any of them?

  • @aniqaahmed4571
    @aniqaahmed4571 ปีที่แล้ว

    Speakers name?

  • @Dai_rui
    @Dai_rui 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Divorce is not allowed in islam for women if they have not suffered physical or emothional abuse. Most imams will not agree to divorce without these types of conditions for women, whereas men dont need any excuses. So situations like mentioned here about not being in Love with her husband, under islam law, you dont have the right to divorce.
    I have heard so many imams talk about this, and everytime it comes to this. But i believe men and women, doesnt matter what religion or culture, arent fully educated on marriage. Although it seems islamic stay away from sin for sisters, please think about yourself and the double standards you might face if you end up in a divorce.
    If anyone has more info about this please share. So we can talk about these very serious issue that surround women in islam.
    There is more discussion on youtube about what to do on wedding night then these issues, and we need to change that together.

    • @mp7275
      @mp7275 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      If a women doesn't love her husband anymore, she is allowed to divorce to him. In islam divorce isn't like the west(sign a paper and go each other seperate ways). Divorce in islam( known as: Talaq) the couple separate from each other for 3 months with no contact, and after 3 months they can meet and ask if they still have feelings for each other and they may continue with their marriage...if not they can divorce... its wrong to say women are not allowed to divorce. Thank you.

    • @Kofi_Mensahs_BurnerAccount
      @Kofi_Mensahs_BurnerAccount 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Women are allowed to ask for a divorce. It's obligatory for the man to listen and first try to work things out. The next step would be to declare a single talaaq. With this, a period of separation can be achieved. If it's beyond repair, the woman can then ask for a complete divorce.