I'm a meteorologist in Brazil, writing my first novel, a fiction to teens. I never thought of using my climate knowledge in the world building, that is a really good tip! Normally I just pay attention to the weather conditions in the scenes I'm writing and how characters react to them. Do you think Brazil is foreign enough for a US audience? I'm thinking if this can help when translation my book to english... Of course I have to finish and publish it first haha Your videos are great, I discovered this channel a few days ago and already learned a lot. Thanks a bunch, please continue with the good work!
Now, disclamer: I myself am not normal by any metric, so don't take my advice as any sort of "absolute truth". That being said, in America, I think a lot of people love foreign things. Foreign drinks, foreign music, foreign art, etc etc. And, in my personal opinion, I would definitely say that Brazil is foreign enough for American tastes. It's Latin (so, there will be people who make the connection to Mexico), but at the same time, Brazil is also really far away, so it's kind of a neat balance between foreign and familiar. Plus, Brazil is just a cool country to be _from_. So, in my personal opinion, I'd say yeah, do it, man. Also, as an aside,.... . . . ...... War. War never changes. ....and neither does the friendship between Fallout fans. Nice pfp, brother ❤
I'm more than disappointed that all 5 trends are just present-day US political issues. We are still writing books about family, love, loss, tragedy, comedy, murder, accidental death, war, peace, religion, faith, loss of faith, rises and falls - we are, right?
Yes, I'm based in the U.S. and know U.S. trends -- it would be difficult to comment about international trends. But you're right -- I think those evergreen topics are just as important as ever. It's just easier to get books published when you're riding on a trend. Not saying that it's the only way to publish!
This is known as pandering when it's done poorly, and it ages fast. The only way to write a compelling story about an immigrant trans climate activist is to have them grapple with the "evergreen" issues of love and death etc. Evergreen topics are the only topics. Every character is a vehicle the author and reader ride to find themselves.
Ah yes, the existence of minorities in fiction which also grapples with the forces affecting the lives of those minorities is "pandering." As opposed to western literature's centuries of stories about straight white men and their power struggles, which isn't pandering because it's what y'all think of as the 'default.'
I have a billion different books I want to write but the first one I know I want to write (since it will be short but show my style): a young girl trained for war and soon after plaged by pain finds a cure to fix it all, but there is something wrong about this cure that makes her get ride of it every time she finds out, but she forgets every time until she cannot remember anymore and she loses it all.
Any thoughts? Pascho was just starting to adjust to life out of prison when he was kidnapped and forced to witness supernatural horrors tied to his incarceration. Will Pascho find answers and escape, or have to sacrifice one for the other?
Guessed right on that pitch! A couple additional points. Number 3 has no indication of character relationships or character conflict. We have two names; we have no idea how those people are going to generate interpersonal conflict. Even for fantasy, which often involves world-level conflict or stakes, that high-level conflict is not sufficient. For Number 1, I’d also note that two characters just stuck on a train alone is a hard sell for a whole novel. Not saying it can’t be done, I’m just saying it’s going to be difficult to do right. Presumably the only scenes that get the reader out of that setting will be flashbacks, which could encourage an overuse of flashback. What are the characters doing about being stuck on that train? When I think of whole novels that take place on a train, I’m thinking of stories with lots of related characters crammed together, and/or lots of conflict and stakes generated by the fact of being stuck together in this claustrophobic setting (Snowpiercer, Murder on the Orient Express).
Nice call out about snow piercer and Murder on the Orient express - those were the two that sprang to my mind for locked on a train stories as well. And nice breakdown of the other issues.
A gothic story set in 1963 texas, a son of a used car sales man meets a young handyman, they start a new life in san Fransisco but they begin to drift apart. Not a happy ending
After a used car salesman meets a young handyman in 1963 Texas, they start a new life in San Francisco but ... [say something specific about the type of troubles they experience]
@@rockbandny maybe : "After a used car salesman meets a young handyman in 1963 Texas, they start a new life in San Francisco but their supposedly close relationship starts to tear apart and there is no happy ending in the sight"
On the eve of the War of 1812, a common British soldier is thrust into a perilous mission to escort a band of self-liberated slaves to freedom while pursued by a ruthless bounty hunter and the martial forces at his disposal.
it is nice to feel like i am being heard i new to your channel i have been writing for about 10 years for my own enjoyment did think anyone else would like them because they deal a lot with internal conflict there is other thins going on but all the stories i had read didn't really have hard emotional struggles so many people deal with i have recently learned that is what what a lot of readers are looking for i might have just been ahead of the game so i am hoping i will fined a place in the book world
Agent Fox's pleasant n optimistic exterior hides secrets that can save lives, with the Academy trying to silence him others in his field trying to defame him, can he expose them all, helping others see what he sees, in a vain lost hope to get back the one he couldn't save, by saving the ones he'll never know. 1044. My Pitch for this episode if it were a book.
Just started this story (partly from inspiration thanks to discovering your channel) so the pitch is pretty butts, but here goes; A sword-and-sorcery dragon-riding adventure, experienced (mostly) through the eyes of the dragon. The heroes (I have yet to name them) learn to embrace who they are in spite of restrictive traditions and another would-be hero fueled by hate. That doesn't even touch on the fact that the dragon is genderfluid, polyamorous, stumbles their way into romance or that the bad guy's basically a dnd paladin who went from asking questions later, to asking questions never. It needs work.
A dragon, who founds itself in the middle of sword-and-sorcery adventure after meeting a group of oddballs, who, like him, have yet to find out who they really are amidst restrictive traditions and having to face another wanna-be hero who chose the path of hatred.
pitch for my WIP: A sheltered but drive high school graduate enrols in an elite magical university, believing it will bring her an opportunity to achieve her childhood dream of uncovering the truth behind the sudden disappearance of an entire country from the international community over a century ago. It’s set in a fantasy world, and I’m worried that this doesn’t quite convey that very well😂 as well as being maybe a bit long. What do you think?
A sheltered but drive high school graduate enrols in an elite magical university, where she tries to understand the sudden disappearance of a country over a century ago.
Mine: In a medieval, post-apocalyptic world, a recently retired infiltrator is called back into service to save her kingdom from a group of deadly pagans.
Mine (btw the character does not have a name yet so there is just an underscore for it) - After a meeting with his master goes horribly wrong _ is on the brink of death, the only thing keeping him going the desire to actually live for the first time after six years of abuse. Experiencing a world with freedom is one that is not as peaceful as he imagined and when one night tragedy strikes he's forced to face reality and take down the monster he followed for so long, while battling his own fractured mental state. Hope thats not bad 😬
Let's try the single sentence pitch! Hailing from a society as cold and calculating as the computer it was born from, Flora grapples with her humanity of inhuman expectations. It is so much more tbh but I don't know how to condense the premise into a single sentence pitch without destroying the other three plot twists.
Okay, I don't get that " society as cold and calculating as the computer it was born from" How born? Did biology change and it's a Matrix-like world? Are they like Borg from Star Trek? What expectations Flora fights? Maybe "As society depends and emulates the computer world it arose from more and more, Flora grapples with her humanity/ human expectations of herself and her surroundings, that are buried in the world of inhuman expectations". - or something to this effect.
It’s not so much about which one you specifically find more appealing, it’s about which one is worded better to give clear and concise information on the story.
@@Seanph25 no see here is the thing, this is partially true as different ones suggest different categories of genres and my subjective side will pick the genre favoring the ones that might be worded worst as mentioned, however, this is not the case here as the ones i liked are in genres i don't like. So it makes it specifically what i like better because i would as a consumer buy the book based on the description i like and not the wording found by professionals. And this is the issue woth most professional actions when they start favoring professionals rather than the consumers.
My pitch: As a vampiric plague spreads through a feudal kingdom, a desperate doctor sends his son on a mission across the continent to a neighbouring country, where a cure is supposedly kept
I would make the inciting incident sound more life changing, like use the word forced to leave or something along those lines. Also is the doctor the main character or is the son? Make sure this is clear because it sounds like their relationship is important. If the dad’s decision is the inciting incident then make it sound important. Sounds like a great story.
My pitches for two short stories: In the midst of an abduction of his people, a young nomadic medic manages to escape into the middle of a land unknown to his people, forcing him down a path of uncertainty. With no recollection of having ever been at sea, a young woman wakes up stranded on the shores of an unknown beach and she soon finds herself within the confines of a strange seaside village where nothing may be as it seems.
Pitch for my wip(which i kinda just came up with on the spot so probs not good): Years of oppression has finally reached a breaking point, where two members of the oppressed will finally- with a cost- help return their people to the place where they belong, while navigating and using everything in their power to do so.
TN: this doesnt really have much do actually do with showing the conventional strggules of racism in current or more recent era since its set in a fantasy world
Mine … Magical warrior is stuck in the valley of death. Mishka looks for her dragon in a far away Castle but finds something else. A captive with a deadly secret that he can’t divulge. She needs to find some answers and escape before the enemy closes in.
Group of securities guards blackmail their wealthy owner of mansion to give them tons of money however to their suprise the mansion owner give them offer to even secretly run the house and his business. And so it begins the betrayal and worst corruption scandal in history of mankind.
I'm so glad I came across your video--I have subscribed and know I'll be hanging around a long time. "After his mother's mysterious, but targeted death, Brad unravels a web of deceit involving powerful criminals and high placed individuals, with only a friendly doctor to assist in his search, forcing him to confront dangerous truths and take justice into his own hands."
Solid as. All really good. You've basically told me heaps without telling me much ✔️✔️ showed me the middle without giving it away ✔️✔️ told me straight up what the goals are ✔️✔️ mystery ✔️✔️ n the friendly Dr, could be a dark horse character or not. I don't know but I'm thinking it n that's ✔️✔️. Mysterious, deceit, targeted, unravels are all good word choices, inciting, invoking words ✔️✔️. I bet you could make this better too. I don't think it needs it. But I bet you still could. The only thing I'd suggest, n it absolutely does NOT need is a location eg New York, Chicago as they're already the vibes I'm getting. Nice work, now outline n write. A story like this needs to be outlined cause it real world, thriller/crime n there will be twists n turns. Figure those out before you start. Finding a plot hole 40000 words in can break you n make you quite. Good luck mate 👍👍🤘
I wrote a longer reply but it disappeared it was all detailed to. This is excellent. I honestly reckon I could pick up a book, flip it to the back n read this n I'd pay $18-25 for it. Awesome bro, keep on writing when you're finished, send it, forget it n start the next one.
Is this serious?? Cause it should be. A feel good story, throw in some landmarks, some culture, a few huge but funny mistakes. Perhaps some light conflict. End with them realising they give the best high fives cause they're bros, so it means something.
@@oldmovieman7550 Nice, then it's stuck in your head. Now you gotta write it when you got time. It's a simple premise but there's heaps of room for a solid story. A story about Bros. 👍🤘
@@oldmovieman7550 All good dude. Your pitch is the most natural one here, no big words, no fancy mystery, no complex rubbish, just a cool idea. You got this. Good luck dude 🤘
My pitch: A random man is chosen as the representative of humanity and must choose 99 other people to bring along on an alien colony ship before the Earth is annihilated.
Amidst chaos of an inevitable catastrophe earth faces a man is chosen by mistake and is pointed out s a representative etc. Mistake opens door to a fantastic growth of a character that wasn't even thought of in the first place. maybe some cast system is in place? Maybe he was rejected from some system of choosing because of something the commitee found as an unaceptable flaw?
Interesting, but I want to know what the stakes are and what challenge the character is facing. What is the conflict or challenge that he's facing in choosing these 99 people? What makes it difficult? And what happens if he fails?
A journalist interviews a rich man(not known) he dies a week later. She always had kept a low profile, now she is on headlines, got anger issues so she snaps in front of her boss....gets fired....decides to find the reason of death....realises her brother is the suspect.
Is putting it in a single sentence worth if it's gonna make it a huge one that is hard to read (even if correct)? In these cases, would it be better to split it into two sentences? Cheers! Impressive videos, especially the editing!
Former Ambassador To The Consulate Mikael Johhnborg must liberate his people, he'll sacrifice himself to expose the lies n curruption of the leading Elites that destroyed his life. Yours is good, tiny bit more detail, i added a name so i know who to cheer for, i chose Swedish as im listening to Metal right now, don't need to say killer, thats clear by the stakes, burn is a soft word. Expose is a dirtier word. Shattered is solid but i used destroyed as destroyed shows intentionality. Liberate is better than free. People, countrymen same thing but i used people as its more relatable. Yours sounds cool, sounds like its set in Africa??
Here's a good example: Alyssa Sheinmel's SUCH SHELTERED LIVES, the author's adult debut, following three self-destructive young celebrities who check themselves into an exclusive rehabilitation facility in the Hamptons catering to the rich and famous, but soon suspect that the ultra-private, ever-vigilant staff are protecting the center's dark secrets more than their own
Can you rate mine? "In a world where one's 6 could be other's 9, where what's morally wrong can be made extremely right and what's truth be turned lie. Experience as how a slave rose to power" For shorter version i go with "Modern medieval" or "Neo Medieval"
When you've written a short piece of fiction, one maybe two pages long, and it mentions *climate change*, *AI*, the apocalypse, the post-apocalyptic world, questions whether other life is in the universe, explains that they probably won't come here, and gets into the AI being extremely depressed (so much conflict, both external and internal). It's not a pitch, just musing on the sheer amount of interest that could be potentially generated from a page or two I spent less than an hour writing (the two dad jokes aside - 1) whether you can be stir crazy if you have no arms for stirring, and 2) the poor AI's designation + the file type spelling out 'human' if you line them up properly)
I just found your channel yesterday and I’m surprised at the little following with this great content. I have had this idea for quite a while now but I never actually wrote a pitch so.. I hope this is at least a little interesting. A young sorceress does her very best to keep up appearances, after her brother mysteriously disappeared seven years ago, until she receives a letter that makes her question everything she thought she knew about her family’s past. (I see how it sounds similar to the first pitch example with the letter but I really did plan the inciting incident to be that letter so I just left it at that) Criticism very much welcomed! Have a lovely day :)
Well, I just started posting videos, so the follower count will rise soon enough. Despite her brother mysteriously disappearing seven years ago, a young sorceress (does X) until she receives a letter that makes her question everything she thought she knew about her family’s past. "Keep up appearances" sounds boring, so substitute something there.
the problem with writing for market or trend is they flood the place with generic stereotypical stories they don't have to be good or original a lot of people with dark skin are outraged at all the everybody is racist books movies and youtube content i choose to start my own fire instead of feeding an out of control one talking the lives of innocent people that might sound harsh but if i want the world to be a better place it starts with writing stories that show kindness and not everything is bad in the wold i grow up poor the amount of hate i see about that group of people is skinning even now that have nothing to do with skin tone
Mr Fox, would you buy my book if its back cover reads: "This young man also thought of himself as the Chosen One and was seeking for Love and Glory. And perhaps in them something else. His friction and bumping with those with whom he went for the Big Stage, however, pushed all of them towards what they deserved and desired. And the echo of the brilliance, and the breaking of the chords, and in general, everything happened as it always happens. That's why it became so unheardly of and "cult".
@@Bookfox "This young man also considered himself the Chosen One and sought Love and Glory (аnd probably something else), but his friction and bumping with others from the rock band Rasonate pushed all of them towards what they deserved."
Now I’m curious about what you would say about my book pitch! Here it is: Two elven sisters bloom from the vine of life and are hunted for their rare gifted powers by creatures thought to only exist in tales of lore.
Not the youtuber, but since elves only exist in tales for us it doesn't really set the creatures in your case apart. I just think of some generic monster-wolf, maybe specify what makes these monsters (and maybe the elves) unique?
Seeing y'all's pitches makes me want to pitch this story idea I've been threatening to write for a while now: In the not too distant future, a veteran and her logistics company is contracted to deliver cybernetic limbs to a PMC, but is betrayed by her colleague and admirer and is forced to become a cyborg to survive.
Okay, what is PMC? A company? Then: In the not too distant future, a veteran and her logistics company is contracted to deliver cybernetic limbs to the most influential company in the field: PMC, but things go wrong and the veteran needs to take an unlikely path of becoming a cyborg amidst the betrayal from her comrades to uncover the secrets of the megacorporation / in order to survive among accusations of stealing the load for herself (or something like that).
Give me a second and last shot: As the rock band (NAME) takes the Big Stage and its members ascend the Tree of Life, millions will be captivated by the clash between altruistic Reason and selfish Essence in their quest to create more profound music and a more „authentic“ existence.
Meilin, a rising Esports player, has to choose between a deadly demon king, Deming, who can't help but fall for her, and her charming teammate, Ningshun, a man with a profound mystery, in order to accept or deny her destiny as the harbinger of the destruction of the 'gods'.
Oof here goes my pitch. A demigod prince seeks a legendary Ascension Core to gain the power needed for revenge against his Divine mother, who sent assassins to murder his childhood friends.
Mine is hard because it essentially has two main characters with distinct, but interrelated plot arcs, but here goes: "On a death march masquerading as a pilgrimage, an impoverished noblewoman and a demon-possessed boy seek answers to their wretched fates, and find them in service of a man who aims to shape the destiny of the entire world."
@@1026JMS Does, "On a pilgrimage that turned into a death march" work better for you? The idea is that it used to be a holy pilgrimage, but the route became so dangerous that it became functionally impossible, so the church started using it as a way to legally execute dissidents.
My pitch: A traumatised veteran with nothing left, but a difficult promise to a fallen comrade, returns to germany after world war one in the hope of living a normal life, but he can't get the images of war out of his head.
The Rainbow Galaxy: In a dystopian world where art and queerness are increasingly illegal, will Milo succeed in opening the portal to the Rainbow Galaxy, a queer artist utopia, or will she perish in the post capitalist hellscape? Does that sound interesting?? I’m planning to probably self publish, but I still need to market it well
With ever growing threat of being eradicated, as laws of freedom of expression of any kind are more and more strict, a queer Milo heads to find a mythical portal leading to a legendary Rainbow Galaxy - a place where there are no limits for expression of any kind, a true utopia, but people doubt its existence.
Darkness fills a teen boys surroundings when he awakes to a seemingly endless cave, his memory loss sends him on a journey to discover his true Origins which leads him to battles against opposing forces that threatens the world Any feedback random stranger reading this.
I figured that was the problem. I'm struggling to add specifics without spoiling parts that are intended to be mysterious or plot twists wish me luck @Bookfox
I have a question. I ask this in the least political way possible, but it does have to do with politics. I know a lot of the issues you brought up that are selling really well right now seem to play a bit more on the left side of things. Now, my novel takes place in rural Texas and New Mexico and most of the main characters are very socially conservative cowboy-types, and they and their way of thinking are portrayed positively. Politics don't come up much, but theism vs atheism do, as well a one-off comment on abortion (again, the conservative side is portrayed positively). I want to make it clear that this is not a political book, it's not about anything currently going on in the news, it's just written from a very backwoods, country way of thinking. Is this something that is unlikely to be published in the current marketplace?
Traditional publishing is pretty liberal. But if you're not publishing literary fiction, but in a certain genre, you have some more leeway. Still, it's a tough sell for any books that aren't pro-left. It's not impossible, it's just that it's more difficult to find an agent that jives with that material and a publisher that will get excited about it.
My pitch: A naive teenage girl flees the domineering CEO posing her as his daughter by pursuing a “free-spirited” musician who is actually a struggling addict. Feedback very much welcome.
"A pampered young woman flees exploitation by a charismatic CEO through pursuit of a 'free-spirited' musician who is actually an addict." Clearer, maybe?
A teenage girl trapped and exploited by a domineering CEO thinks she's finally found a way out when she meets a charming, free-spirited musician, but her hopes are turned upside down when she discovers that he's actually a struggling addict. I'd read that. ;D
My pitch: In a world where the gods are volatile and vengeful, long ago cursing the men to live as monkeys, the great mandrill empire reigns supreme. Two genius hearts will decide the fate of the east once the old emperor dies - the new emperor, Sin Axabar, and Zixi, the cowardly boy king, a mandrill in the skin of a bonobo.
Okay, but include the fight against the gods and the will to arise above what they are now. You can also make those two main characters with different motives: one wants to maintain the status quo (it has always been like that) and one questioning the current order of events and rebel. For me that would make it much more interesting because the premise based on Planet of the Apes is really cool.
@@marikothecheetah9342 I see now from your comment that my premise is lacking a key aspect of the story. It is called Primitive Warfare, as it's the tale of a rebellion against the mandrill empire. Sin Axabar, as the new emperor, tries to suppress the rebelion, while Zixi becomes it's leader (so I'll definitely revise the premise to include it.) Now as to what you've mentioned, it is certainly the case. The mandrills see the gods as stupid, and view themselves as above them. Two hundred years ago they've managed to capture the most powerful god, Arush, in the body of their emperor (and every new emperor inherits the god from the body of the previous one). The bonobos, in contrast, don't view themselves as smarter than the gods, and they worship only one of them - the goddess of time. But Zixi is a foreigner to the bonobos, despite being one, which is why he's mockingly called a mandrill in the skin of a bonobo. He has a personal hatred towards Sin Axabar, which we slowly discover the reason for throughout the story. Thank you for taking interest, by the way :) The first draft is actually close to being finished, so perhaps in a year or two you'll stumble upon this book in a random book store 🌝
@@yoavjacoby8246 The one thing which is very difficult to do for all of us is to think outside us, i.e. - you know what you know but other's don't and yet your brain assumes they will, as you do. I write my book for fun and I have a friend that writes another story and we critique each other - she mentioned sometimes she doesn't know why this or that happened and if it isn't a cliff hanger I know I went into: 'I know this, so others must know this, too' mode. Give someone close to you the read of the first draft, even before correction, ask them if they know what this part is about and if not - revise. Your story seems intriguing but try to point out the main point (rebellion? Clash between Sin and Zixi?) more clearly. Lack of acceptance by bonobos can be a great private arc, that goes along the story arc - which is rebellion - probably :) And I hope your book will find its way to a book store, kindle and audible :)
@@marikothecheetah9342 I actually just talked with my sister about it. In the book itself I'm better at conveying information (had a few friends reading it and there wasn't too many confusions.) I wrote this premise quickly without thinking too much, but a better one would probably focus more on the actual story, rather than on interesting exposition. Good luck with your book too, man :)
@@yoavjacoby8246 crazy idea but maybe your readers may sum up your story for you? Sometimes the obvious escape us and other people may be better at stating it. :) I'm waiting for that novel, though :)
I don't write but do read romance from time to time. I've had an itch for a book and I am sure I am not the only one so if someone wants to take this idea and run with it feel free. So the idea is for a queer straight romance. Okay I know you are thinking what but wait for it. A lonely incel wants to loose his virginity but can't find a girl who wants to date him let alone marry him. Then he makes friends with a bi guy and bi guys girlfriend. The three explore the difference between romantic attraction, sexual attraction, and friendship.
Mine: In the dying days of the American Civil War, a Federal Captain of a Griffin Cavalry Troop is forced to winter at a historical plantation run by a mysterious Changeling and must struggle with his desire to not kill her and not fall in love with her.
Make that captain a confederate and changeling in the form of a young black woman that would make him question everything he was taught, as he gets to know her better. You can also add the inevitable need for him to kill her (a second nature, where she kills people for example and it is an urge she cannot fight) and his conflict when he does. SO MANY EMOTIONS! I'd read that.
@@janeyrevanescence12 well, go ahead with yours, it's freaking boring. Also, your response to my suggestion is so passive aggressive you need to chill or work on that attitude of yours. :/
@@marikothecheetah9342 I like your version, I read Civil War n thought racial conflict was obvious. Alot of set up n pay off, alot of self reflection. Tension all through it.
I can't WAIT to write the gayest racial victimization story set in an A.I.-run virtual reality world that is falling apart from climate change during a war on immigration. The twist is that the oppositional characters are minorities also, and the main antagonist is a genderfluid transexual. I'm pretty sure the protagonist, the sidekick, and the antagonist are going to end up in an abusive but very cutting-edge throuple. "The heart wants what the heart wants" emotional thoroughline will permeate the entire work. Also, I will still figure out a way to make straight white males the secret true villians that pull all the strings behind the scenes. Toxic Masculinity™ WILL be seen for what it is. ✊🏿 You made this happen. It's going to happen.
In an AI-run virtual reality world utterly wrecked by climate change, YaoMing and his partner Jorge are determined to build a better life in the only remaining haven left on Earth, the New United States, but when a migrant-hating genderfluid transexual donning a mask emerges as leader and declares war on all non-white non-citizens, YaoMing and his lover are soon caught up in a bloody fight for their people’s rights -- all while an intense budding attraction between the three threatens to upend everything they ever knew about justice and the desires of the human heart.
I agree. Trans & climate crisis stories are adored by DEI editors & publishers. But do they sell? Netflix & Disney are losing billions on political correct narrative sermons.
No they don't. Woke people don't read books. Have you seen the comments it's all trans n rainbow n even TDS is creeping in. Those people will not finish, if they even start. Anger won't keep you writing, passion will. Woke people lack passion, empathy, common sense all are necessary for a story n especially characters. I already know all their characters will be victims, oppressed, artistic blah blah. Their antagonist will be Trump, that's all. I believe in writing injustice, LOTR is the best example, but it's ladden with friendship, loyalty, strength, passion, all things DEI chasers lack. Woke people only do things to complain about them, that's why they love tiktok, 15 second clips n they only read headlines, not articles. Tiny attention spans, won't make it through a book. Long form reading is pretty much the final place they haven't infected. They won't either, before they've finished reading the first chapter their mob will already trying to destroy something else so they'll stop reading immediately. As that reason to be angry has past. Not a single Woke person has read Lord of the Rings, that's a lot of big words. Sorry if I went on, your comment is exactly what I was thinking before I found it.
I guess my books is something like: The Bible meets modern day Circe. Society is reverting back to the womb in the worst way possible. All progress done for women’s and queer people gets shattered after one fateful election and the female mc decides to leave mankind behind altogether, with a little help from the dark side.
I choose #2. #1 - That pitch needs editorial work. "And now there are two of them." Two of what? Now there are two best friends??? I expect the writer is trying to say Zyair and the sister's best friend are locked up on a train. Also, locked up on a train... how do you get locked up on a train?? It is a mode of transport, that shuttles people from one station to another. Is the writer trying to say that the train somehow got stopped in its tracks? #3 Isn't this a pitch in the Romance genre? The pitch should have that main romantic conflict in the pitch.
@@youareawesome5236 Actually, most people reading fiction novels these days are women and women, by and large, either are pro-woke or don't care about woke stuff in their books.
A lot of it's poorly written token-ism, unfortunately. There was one allegedly gay romance that I honestly thought was hetero until it was revealed that one of the characters, a male, was wearing a kilt... INCORRECTLY. And that was supposed to be his usual attire! Wtf? I'm not sure which part of me was offended more...my heritage or my friends that taught me gay relationships aren't just hetero relationships with one person's sex being swapped.
I found the channel recently and I'm amazed at the quality of the content.
Hugs from Brazil
Many thanks! I'm having fun with it.
BR BR
I'm a meteorologist in Brazil, writing my first novel, a fiction to teens. I never thought of using my climate knowledge in the world building, that is a really good tip! Normally I just pay attention to the weather conditions in the scenes I'm writing and how characters react to them.
Do you think Brazil is foreign enough for a US audience? I'm thinking if this can help when translation my book to english... Of course I have to finish and publish it first haha
Your videos are great, I discovered this channel a few days ago and already learned a lot. Thanks a bunch, please continue with the good work!
Now, disclamer: I myself am not normal by any metric, so don't take my advice as any sort of "absolute truth". That being said, in America, I think a lot of people love foreign things. Foreign drinks, foreign music, foreign art, etc etc. And, in my personal opinion, I would definitely say that Brazil is foreign enough for American tastes. It's Latin (so, there will be people who make the connection to Mexico), but at the same time, Brazil is also really far away, so it's kind of a neat balance between foreign and familiar. Plus, Brazil is just a cool country to be _from_. So, in my personal opinion, I'd say yeah, do it, man.
Also, as an aside,....
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.
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...... War. War never changes. ....and neither does the friendship between Fallout fans. Nice pfp, brother ❤
I'm more than disappointed that all 5 trends are just present-day US political issues. We are still writing books about family, love, loss, tragedy, comedy, murder, accidental death, war, peace, religion, faith, loss of faith, rises and falls - we are, right?
Yes, I'm based in the U.S. and know U.S. trends -- it would be difficult to comment about international trends. But you're right -- I think those evergreen topics are just as important as ever. It's just easier to get books published when you're riding on a trend.
Not saying that it's the only way to publish!
This is known as pandering when it's done poorly, and it ages fast.
The only way to write a compelling story about an immigrant trans climate activist is to have them grapple with the "evergreen" issues of love and death etc. Evergreen topics are the only topics.
Every character is a vehicle the author and reader ride to find themselves.
Ah yes, the existence of minorities in fiction which also grapples with the forces affecting the lives of those minorities is "pandering."
As opposed to western literature's centuries of stories about straight white men and their power struggles, which isn't pandering because it's what y'all think of as the 'default.'
I have a billion different books I want to write but the first one I know I want to write (since it will be short but show my style): a young girl trained for war and soon after plaged by pain finds a cure to fix it all, but there is something wrong about this cure that makes her get ride of it every time she finds out, but she forgets every time until she cannot remember anymore and she loses it all.
I love it!!
Kind of confusing.
Every time I see your videos, I'm thinking like this is super underrated, thanks for insights!
Any thoughts? Pascho was just starting to adjust to life out of prison when he was kidnapped and forced to witness supernatural horrors tied to his incarceration. Will Pascho find answers and escape, or have to sacrifice one for the other?
Guessed right on that pitch! A couple additional points. Number 3 has no indication of character relationships or character conflict. We have two names; we have no idea how those people are going to generate interpersonal conflict. Even for fantasy, which often involves world-level conflict or stakes, that high-level conflict is not sufficient.
For Number 1, I’d also note that two characters just stuck on a train alone is a hard sell for a whole novel. Not saying it can’t be done, I’m just saying it’s going to be difficult to do right. Presumably the only scenes that get the reader out of that setting will be flashbacks, which could encourage an overuse of flashback. What are the characters doing about being stuck on that train? When I think of whole novels that take place on a train, I’m thinking of stories with lots of related characters crammed together, and/or lots of conflict and stakes generated by the fact of being stuck together in this claustrophobic setting (Snowpiercer, Murder on the Orient Express).
Nice call out about snow piercer and Murder on the Orient express - those were the two that sprang to my mind for locked on a train stories as well.
And nice breakdown of the other issues.
A gothic story set in 1963 texas, a son of a used car sales man meets a young handyman, they start a new life in san Fransisco but they begin to drift apart. Not a happy ending
After a used car salesman meets a young handyman in 1963 Texas, they start a new life in San Francisco but ... [say something specific about the type of troubles they experience]
@@Bookfox thanks, but their relationship becomes increasingly toxic as the salesmen is caught with a rent boy
@@rockbandny maybe : "After a used car salesman meets a young handyman in 1963 Texas, they start a new life in San Francisco but their supposedly close relationship starts to tear apart and there is no happy ending in the sight"
@@marikothecheetah9342 that is perfect thank you
@@rockbandny good luck with your writing! :)
I am just shocked tonsee yoir sub count? Your quality of content and personality is top teir! Excited to join and support you on your rise!
Welcome aboard! And I just started posting videos about a month ago, so I'm sure the sub count will rise over the next few months.
On the eve of the War of 1812, a common British soldier is thrust into a perilous mission to escort a band of self-liberated slaves to freedom while pursued by a ruthless bounty hunter and the martial forces at his disposal.
This is great, just end on "ruthless bounty hunter."
wow!! you opened my eyes- I tick alot of boxes, but never thought of pitching like this!!! thanks!!
An MFA program is very helpful in learning about the writing and publishing industries. I'm a year away from receiving my degree.
Wonderful! Glad you've enjoyed your program, and hope the thesis work is coming along well.
it is nice to feel like i am being heard i new to your channel i have been writing for about 10 years for my own enjoyment did think anyone else would like them because they deal a lot with internal conflict there is other thins going on but all the stories i had read didn't really have hard emotional struggles so many people deal with i have recently learned that is what what a lot of readers are looking for i might have just been ahead of the game so i am hoping i will fined a place in the book world
Agent Fox's pleasant n optimistic exterior hides secrets that can save lives, with the Academy trying to silence him others in his field trying to defame him, can he expose them all, helping others see what he sees, in a vain lost hope to get back the one he couldn't save, by saving the ones he'll never know.
1044.
My Pitch for this episode if it were a book.
Just started this story (partly from inspiration thanks to discovering your channel) so the pitch is pretty butts, but here goes;
A sword-and-sorcery dragon-riding adventure, experienced (mostly) through the eyes of the dragon. The heroes (I have yet to name them) learn to embrace who they are in spite of restrictive traditions and another would-be hero fueled by hate.
That doesn't even touch on the fact that the dragon is genderfluid, polyamorous, stumbles their way into romance or that the bad guy's basically a dnd paladin who went from asking questions later, to asking questions never. It needs work.
A dragon, who founds itself in the middle of sword-and-sorcery adventure after meeting a group of oddballs, who, like him, have yet to find out who they really are amidst restrictive traditions and having to face another wanna-be hero who chose the path of hatred.
That would be hilarious 😂😂 have him meet a Pegasus that's trans racial, disabled n scared of heights.
We can tick more boxes here 😂
OK I've subscribed, your content is excellent
pitch for my WIP:
A sheltered but drive high school graduate enrols in an elite magical university, believing it will bring her an opportunity to achieve her childhood dream of uncovering the truth behind the sudden disappearance of an entire country from the international community over a century ago.
It’s set in a fantasy world, and I’m worried that this doesn’t quite convey that very well😂 as well as being maybe a bit long. What do you think?
A sheltered but drive high school graduate enrols in an elite magical university, where she tries to understand the sudden disappearance of a country over a century ago.
@@Bookfoxnice and punchy. 🔥
Thank you!
Mine: In a medieval, post-apocalyptic world, a recently retired infiltrator is called back into service to save her kingdom from a group of deadly pagans.
I like it! That's a great pitch.
I misread that as deadly penguins...and now I want to read that book.
@@nickscottcomposer1 So do I! haha!
@@nickscottcomposer1Madagascar penguins spinoff😂
@@writerducky2589 Skipper: "Rico, hand me my Vorpal Sword. Kowalski, status report on the enemy kingdom."
Mine (btw the character does not have a name yet so there is just an underscore for it) - After a meeting with his master goes horribly wrong _ is on the brink of death, the only thing keeping him going the desire to actually live for the first time after six years of abuse. Experiencing a world with freedom is one that is not as peaceful as he imagined and when one night tragedy strikes he's forced to face reality and take down the monster he followed for so long, while battling his own fractured mental state.
Hope thats not bad 😬
Let's try the single sentence pitch!
Hailing from a society as cold and calculating as the computer it was born from, Flora grapples with her humanity of inhuman expectations.
It is so much more tbh but I don't know how to condense the premise into a single sentence pitch without destroying the other three plot twists.
Okay, I don't get that " society as cold and calculating as the computer it was born from" How born? Did biology change and it's a Matrix-like world? Are they like Borg from Star Trek? What expectations Flora fights?
Maybe "As society depends and emulates the computer world it arose from more and more, Flora grapples with her humanity/ human expectations of herself and her surroundings, that are buried in the world of inhuman expectations". - or something to this effect.
Flora is a good name for AI, nice little twist on words there.
Regarding the test, i was actually intrested in both 1 and 3 and not 2
It’s not so much about which one you specifically find more appealing, it’s about which one is worded better to give clear and concise information on the story.
@@Seanph25 no see here is the thing, this is partially true as different ones suggest different categories of genres and my subjective side will pick the genre favoring the ones that might be worded worst as mentioned, however, this is not the case here as the ones i liked are in genres i don't like.
So it makes it specifically what i like better because i would as a consumer buy the book based on the description i like and not the wording found by professionals.
And this is the issue woth most professional actions when they start favoring professionals rather than the consumers.
Honestly same, I had picked 3 because it sounded much more interesting to me 😅
My pitch:
As a vampiric plague spreads through a feudal kingdom, a desperate doctor sends his son on a mission across the continent to a neighbouring country, where a cure is supposedly kept
I would make the inciting incident sound more life changing, like use the word forced to leave or something along those lines. Also is the doctor the main character or is the son? Make sure this is clear because it sounds like their relationship is important. If the dad’s decision is the inciting incident then make it sound important. Sounds like a great story.
One idea I had was for a sort of sapphic reimagining of the story of sleeping beauty.
My pitches for two short stories:
In the midst of an abduction of his people, a young nomadic medic manages to escape into the middle of a land unknown to his people, forcing him down a path of uncertainty.
With no recollection of having ever been at sea, a young woman wakes up stranded on the shores of an unknown beach and she soon finds herself within the confines of a strange seaside village where nothing may be as it seems.
Pitch for my wip(which i kinda just came up with on the spot so probs not good):
Years of oppression has finally reached a breaking point, where two members of the oppressed will finally- with a cost- help return their people to the place where they belong, while navigating and using everything in their power to do so.
TN: this doesnt really have much do actually do with showing the conventional strggules of racism in current or more recent era since its set in a fantasy world
Yeah, that pitch doesn't have any specifics, sorry.
@@Bookfox thanks, will work on it
Mine …
Magical warrior is stuck in the valley of death.
Mishka looks for her dragon in a far away Castle but finds something else. A captive with a deadly secret that he can’t divulge. She needs to find some answers and escape before the enemy closes in.
Group of securities guards blackmail their wealthy owner of mansion to give them tons of money however to their suprise the mansion owner give them offer to even secretly run the house and his business.
And so it begins the betrayal and worst corruption scandal in history of mankind.
Man you have such great insights
I'm so glad I came across your video--I have subscribed and know I'll be hanging around a long time. "After his mother's mysterious, but targeted death, Brad unravels a web of deceit involving powerful criminals and high placed individuals, with only a friendly doctor to assist in his search, forcing him to confront dangerous truths and take justice into his own hands."
I went to skl with u
@@theonewhosees586 Sorry, was that reply meant for me or the BookFox?
@@andre-hugopretorius9815 dingleberry
Mingleberry
Jingleberry
12 or 2?
Dingleberry
Mingleberry
Jingleberry
Dingle too!
Solid as. All really good. You've basically told me heaps without telling me much ✔️✔️ showed me the middle without giving it away ✔️✔️ told me straight up what the goals are ✔️✔️ mystery ✔️✔️ n the friendly Dr, could be a dark horse character or not. I don't know but I'm thinking it n that's ✔️✔️. Mysterious, deceit, targeted, unravels are all good word choices, inciting, invoking words ✔️✔️.
I bet you could make this better too. I don't think it needs it. But I bet you still could.
The only thing I'd suggest, n it absolutely does NOT need is a location eg New York, Chicago as they're already the vibes I'm getting.
Nice work, now outline n write. A story like this needs to be outlined cause it real world, thriller/crime n there will be twists n turns. Figure those out before you start. Finding a plot hole 40000 words in can break you n make you quite.
Good luck mate 👍👍🤘
I wrote a longer reply but it disappeared it was all detailed to.
This is excellent. I honestly reckon I could pick up a book, flip it to the back n read this n I'd pay $18-25 for it.
Awesome bro, keep on writing when you're finished, send it, forget it n start the next one.
After graduating high school, twin brothers journey to the furthest corners of the earth in search of the ultimate high five.
Is this serious??
Cause it should be.
A feel good story, throw in some landmarks, some culture, a few huge but funny mistakes. Perhaps some light conflict. End with them realising they give the best high fives cause they're bros, so it means something.
@@youareawesome5236 I’ve had the idea in my head since high school actually.
@@oldmovieman7550 Nice, then it's stuck in your head. Now you gotta write it when you got time. It's a simple premise but there's heaps of room for a solid story.
A story about Bros.
👍🤘
@@youareawesome5236 I appreciate that. Thanks man
@@oldmovieman7550 All good dude. Your pitch is the most natural one here, no big words, no fancy mystery, no complex rubbish, just a cool idea. You got this. Good luck dude 🤘
My pitch: A random man is chosen as the representative of humanity and must choose 99 other people to bring along on an alien colony ship before the Earth is annihilated.
Amidst chaos of an inevitable catastrophe earth faces a man is chosen by mistake and is pointed out s a representative etc. Mistake opens door to a fantastic growth of a character that wasn't even thought of in the first place. maybe some cast system is in place? Maybe he was rejected from some system of choosing because of something the commitee found as an unaceptable flaw?
That's really cliche lol
Interesting, but I want to know what the stakes are and what challenge the character is facing. What is the conflict or challenge that he's facing in choosing these 99 people? What makes it difficult? And what happens if he fails?
@Flitter9 there's a podcast audio srama with that exact premise lol
A journalist interviews a rich man(not known) he dies a week later. She always had kept a low profile, now she is on headlines, got anger issues so she snaps in front of her boss....gets fired....decides to find the reason of death....realises her brother is the suspect.
Is putting it in a single sentence worth if it's gonna make it a huge one that is hard to read (even if correct)? In these cases, would it be better to split it into two sentences?
Cheers! Impressive videos, especially the editing!
Mine: An ambassador-turned-killer fights to free his countrymen and burn the web of lies that surrounds the Dynasty that shattered his life.
Thoughts?
Former Ambassador To The Consulate Mikael Johhnborg must liberate his people, he'll sacrifice himself to expose the lies n curruption of the leading Elites that destroyed his life.
Yours is good, tiny bit more detail, i added a name so i know who to cheer for, i chose Swedish as im listening to Metal right now, don't need to say killer, thats clear by the stakes, burn is a soft word. Expose is a dirtier word. Shattered is solid but i used destroyed as destroyed shows intentionality.
Liberate is better than free.
People, countrymen same thing but i used people as its more relatable.
Yours sounds cool, sounds like its set in Africa??
I wrote a comment but it was mysteriously deleted.
Can you give a formula for a book with multiple protagonist?
Here's a good example:
Alyssa Sheinmel's SUCH SHELTERED LIVES, the author's adult debut, following three self-destructive young celebrities who check themselves into an exclusive rehabilitation facility in the Hamptons catering to the rich and famous, but soon suspect that the ultra-private, ever-vigilant staff are protecting the center's dark secrets more than their own
Can you rate mine?
"In a world where one's 6 could be other's 9, where what's morally wrong can be made extremely right and what's truth be turned lie. Experience as how a slave rose to power"
For shorter version i go with
"Modern medieval" or "Neo Medieval"
When you've written a short piece of fiction, one maybe two pages long, and it mentions *climate change*, *AI*, the apocalypse, the post-apocalyptic world, questions whether other life is in the universe, explains that they probably won't come here, and gets into the AI being extremely depressed (so much conflict, both external and internal). It's not a pitch, just musing on the sheer amount of interest that could be potentially generated from a page or two I spent less than an hour writing (the two dad jokes aside - 1) whether you can be stir crazy if you have no arms for stirring, and 2) the poor AI's designation + the file type spelling out 'human' if you line them up properly)
O wow i thought the second pitch was so boring 😅 i liked the first one
I just found your channel yesterday and I’m surprised at the little following with this great content.
I have had this idea for quite a while now but I never actually wrote a pitch so.. I hope this is at least a little interesting.
A young sorceress does her very best to keep up appearances, after her brother mysteriously disappeared seven years ago, until she receives a letter that makes her question everything she thought she knew about her family’s past.
(I see how it sounds similar to the first pitch example with the letter but I really did plan the inciting incident to be that letter so I just left it at that)
Criticism very much welcomed!
Have a lovely day :)
Well, I just started posting videos, so the follower count will rise soon enough.
Despite her brother mysteriously disappearing seven years ago, a young sorceress (does X) until she receives a letter that makes her question everything she thought she knew about her family’s past.
"Keep up appearances" sounds boring, so substitute something there.
@@Bookfox alright, thank you!
the problem with writing for market or trend is they flood the place with generic stereotypical stories they don't have to be good or original a lot of people with dark skin are outraged at all the everybody is racist books movies and youtube content i choose to start my own fire instead of feeding an out of control one talking the lives of innocent people that might sound harsh but if i want the world to be a better place it starts with writing stories that show kindness and not everything is bad in the wold i grow up poor the amount of hate i see about that group of people is skinning even now that have nothing to do with skin tone
I agree writing to the trend can be problematic, which I mention in the video. Still, it's important to know the type of books that are selling.
Mr Fox, would you buy my book if its back cover reads:
"This young man also thought of himself as the Chosen One and was seeking for Love and Glory. And perhaps in them something else. His friction and bumping with those with whom he went for the Big Stage, however, pushed all of them towards what they deserved and desired. And the echo of the brilliance, and the breaking of the chords, and in general, everything happened as it always happens. That's why it became so unheardly of and "cult".
I would work on more specifics. I'm not sure what the book is about.
@@Bookfox "This young man also considered himself the Chosen One and sought Love and Glory (аnd probably something else), but his friction and bumping with others from the rock band Rasonate pushed all of them towards what they deserved."
Now I’m curious about what you would say about my book pitch! Here it is:
Two elven sisters bloom from the vine of life and are hunted for their rare gifted powers by creatures thought to only exist in tales of lore.
Not the youtuber, but since elves only exist in tales for us it doesn't really set the creatures in your case apart. I just think of some generic monster-wolf, maybe specify what makes these monsters (and maybe the elves) unique?
Seeing y'all's pitches makes me want to pitch this story idea I've been threatening to write for a while now:
In the not too distant future, a veteran and her logistics company is contracted to deliver cybernetic limbs to a PMC, but is betrayed by her colleague and admirer and is forced to become a cyborg to survive.
Okay, what is PMC? A company? Then: In the not too distant future, a veteran and her logistics company is contracted to deliver cybernetic limbs to the most influential company in the field: PMC, but things go wrong and the veteran needs to take an unlikely path of becoming a cyborg amidst the betrayal from her comrades to uncover the secrets of the megacorporation / in order to survive among accusations of stealing the load for herself (or something like that).
@@marikothecheetah9342 thanks! PMC stands for private military company btw
@@lolozo214 thanks for explanation :)
Really good video. Thanks.
Glad you liked it!
Give me a second and last shot:
As the rock band (NAME) takes the Big Stage and its members ascend the Tree of Life, millions will be captivated by the clash between altruistic Reason and selfish Essence in their quest to create more profound music and a more „authentic“ existence.
Meilin, a rising Esports player, has to choose between a deadly demon king, Deming, who can't help but fall for her, and her charming teammate, Ningshun, a man with a profound mystery, in order to accept or deny her destiny as the harbinger of the destruction of the 'gods'.
This was difficult to read to be honest.
Is it a romance novel? Why is a deadly demon king playing esports?
Oof here goes my pitch.
A demigod prince seeks a legendary Ascension Core to gain the power needed for revenge against his Divine mother, who sent assassins to murder his childhood friends.
Mine is hard because it essentially has two main characters with distinct, but interrelated plot arcs, but here goes: "On a death march masquerading as a pilgrimage, an impoverished noblewoman and a demon-possessed boy seek answers to their wretched fates, and find them in service of a man who aims to shape the destiny of the entire world."
I'm intrigued! But the first part is a little too vague, I have no idea what you mean by "on a death march".
I'm intrigued! But the first part is a little too vague, I have no idea what you mean by "on a death march".
@@1026JMS Does, "On a pilgrimage that turned into a death march" work better for you? The idea is that it used to be a holy pilgrimage, but the route became so dangerous that it became functionally impossible, so the church started using it as a way to legally execute dissidents.
My pitch:
A traumatised veteran with nothing left, but a difficult promise to a fallen comrade, returns to germany after world war one in the hope of living a normal life, but he can't get the images of war out of his head.
The Rainbow Galaxy: In a dystopian world where art and queerness are increasingly illegal, will Milo succeed in opening the portal to the Rainbow Galaxy, a queer artist utopia, or will she perish in the post capitalist hellscape?
Does that sound interesting?? I’m planning to probably self publish, but I still need to market it well
With ever growing threat of being eradicated, as laws of freedom of expression of any kind are more and more strict, a queer Milo heads to find a mythical portal leading to a legendary Rainbow Galaxy - a place where there are no limits for expression of any kind, a true utopia, but people doubt its existence.
@@marikothecheetah9342 i just saw this comment and i like that!! Thx for workshopping this for me
@@Idkokyes any time! Happy writing!
Darkness fills a teen boys surroundings when he awakes to a seemingly endless cave, his memory loss sends him on a journey to discover his true Origins which leads him to battles against opposing forces that threatens the world
Any feedback random stranger reading this.
A little too vague, my friend. I'm not sure what the story is about.
I figured that was the problem. I'm struggling to add specifics without spoiling parts that are intended to be mysterious or plot twists
wish me luck @Bookfox
I have a question. I ask this in the least political way possible, but it does have to do with politics. I know a lot of the issues you brought up that are selling really well right now seem to play a bit more on the left side of things. Now, my novel takes place in rural Texas and New Mexico and most of the main characters are very socially conservative cowboy-types, and they and their way of thinking are portrayed positively. Politics don't come up much, but theism vs atheism do, as well a one-off comment on abortion (again, the conservative side is portrayed positively). I want to make it clear that this is not a political book, it's not about anything currently going on in the news, it's just written from a very backwoods, country way of thinking. Is this something that is unlikely to be published in the current marketplace?
Traditional publishing is pretty liberal. But if you're not publishing literary fiction, but in a certain genre, you have some more leeway. Still, it's a tough sell for any books that aren't pro-left. It's not impossible, it's just that it's more difficult to find an agent that jives with that material and a publisher that will get excited about it.
Sherlock Holmes, but he's a wizard and all the mysteries culminate in one large conspiracy.
😱 haha I love it 🔥
Culminate* btw
@@aouyiu thanks yer the goat
@@Pyrotechn1cs you're*.........lol, kidding 😂
@@bethezebra (cartoon villain voice) NYEH FOILED AGAIN >:|
^all of this above, meanwhile me: I like slice of life...
I'm proud to write well without the A.I.
My pitch:
A naive teenage girl flees the domineering CEO posing her as his daughter by pursuing a “free-spirited” musician who is actually a struggling addict.
Feedback very much welcome.
The CEO part is confusing. He's pretending that she's his daughter?
He is an abuser keeping an underage girl trapped in an inappropriate relationship while keeping her publicly presented as his daughter.
"A pampered young woman flees exploitation by a charismatic CEO through pursuit of a 'free-spirited' musician who is actually an addict."
Clearer, maybe?
A teenage girl trapped and exploited by a domineering CEO thinks she's finally found a way out when she meets a charming, free-spirited musician, but her hopes are turned upside down when she discovers that he's actually a struggling addict.
I'd read that. ;D
Thank you, @Meowch3! Always encouraging to hear and sounds like you understand it perfectly.
Yeah guys, just PREDICT the trends 2+ years ahead of time, that's all. LMAO
creatre the trend
Create the trend.
Write injustices, they are not a trend n never go out of style.
My pitch: In a world where the gods are volatile and vengeful, long ago cursing the men to live as monkeys, the great mandrill empire reigns supreme. Two genius hearts will decide the fate of the east once the old emperor dies - the new emperor, Sin Axabar, and Zixi, the cowardly boy king, a mandrill in the skin of a bonobo.
Okay, but include the fight against the gods and the will to arise above what they are now. You can also make those two main characters with different motives: one wants to maintain the status quo (it has always been like that) and one questioning the current order of events and rebel. For me that would make it much more interesting because the premise based on Planet of the Apes is really cool.
@@marikothecheetah9342 I see now from your comment that my premise is lacking a key aspect of the story. It is called Primitive Warfare, as it's the tale of a rebellion against the mandrill empire. Sin Axabar, as the new emperor, tries to suppress the rebelion, while Zixi becomes it's leader (so I'll definitely revise the premise to include it.)
Now as to what you've mentioned, it is certainly the case. The mandrills see the gods as stupid, and view themselves as above them. Two hundred years ago they've managed to capture the most powerful god, Arush, in the body of their emperor (and every new emperor inherits the god from the body of the previous one). The bonobos, in contrast, don't view themselves as smarter than the gods, and they worship only one of them - the goddess of time.
But Zixi is a foreigner to the bonobos, despite being one, which is why he's mockingly called a mandrill in the skin of a bonobo. He has a personal hatred towards Sin Axabar, which we slowly discover the reason for throughout the story.
Thank you for taking interest, by the way :)
The first draft is actually close to being finished, so perhaps in a year or two you'll stumble upon this book in a random book store 🌝
@@yoavjacoby8246 The one thing which is very difficult to do for all of us is to think outside us, i.e. - you know what you know but other's don't and yet your brain assumes they will, as you do. I write my book for fun and I have a friend that writes another story and we critique each other - she mentioned sometimes she doesn't know why this or that happened and if it isn't a cliff hanger I know I went into: 'I know this, so others must know this, too' mode. Give someone close to you the read of the first draft, even before correction, ask them if they know what this part is about and if not - revise.
Your story seems intriguing but try to point out the main point (rebellion? Clash between Sin and Zixi?) more clearly. Lack of acceptance by bonobos can be a great private arc, that goes along the story arc - which is rebellion - probably :)
And I hope your book will find its way to a book store, kindle and audible :)
@@marikothecheetah9342 I actually just talked with my sister about it. In the book itself I'm better at conveying information (had a few friends reading it and there wasn't too many confusions.)
I wrote this premise quickly without thinking too much, but a better one would probably focus more on the actual story, rather than on interesting exposition.
Good luck with your book too, man :)
@@yoavjacoby8246 crazy idea but maybe your readers may sum up your story for you? Sometimes the obvious escape us and other people may be better at stating it. :) I'm waiting for that novel, though :)
This video taught me publishers are idiots and don't deserve their job lmao
thanks :)
I don't write but do read romance from time to time. I've had an itch for a book and I am sure I am not the only one so if someone wants to take this idea and run with it feel free. So the idea is for a queer straight romance. Okay I know you are thinking what but wait for it.
A lonely incel wants to loose his virginity but can't find a girl who wants to date him let alone marry him. Then he makes friends with a bi guy and bi guys girlfriend. The three explore the difference between romantic attraction, sexual attraction, and friendship.
Mine: In the dying days of the American Civil War, a Federal Captain of a Griffin Cavalry Troop is forced to winter at a historical plantation run by a mysterious Changeling and must struggle with his desire to not kill her and not fall in love with her.
Make that captain a confederate and changeling in the form of a young black woman that would make him question everything he was taught, as he gets to know her better. You can also add the inevitable need for him to kill her (a second nature, where she kills people for example and it is an urge she cannot fight) and his conflict when he does. SO MANY EMOTIONS! I'd read that.
@@marikothecheetah9342 go ahead and write that story. Not me.
@@janeyrevanescence12 well, go ahead with yours, it's freaking boring.
Also, your response to my suggestion is so passive aggressive you need to chill or work on that attitude of yours. :/
@@marikothecheetah9342 well, it does take one to know one
@@marikothecheetah9342 I like your version, I read Civil War n thought racial conflict was obvious. Alot of set up n pay off, alot of self reflection. Tension all through it.
Suuuubscribed
I can't WAIT to write the gayest racial victimization story set in an A.I.-run virtual reality world that is falling apart from climate change during a war on immigration. The twist is that the oppositional characters are minorities also, and the main antagonist is a genderfluid transexual. I'm pretty sure the protagonist, the sidekick, and the antagonist are going to end up in an abusive but very cutting-edge throuple. "The heart wants what the heart wants" emotional thoroughline will permeate the entire work. Also, I will still figure out a way to make straight white males the secret true villians that pull all the strings behind the scenes. Toxic Masculinity™ WILL be seen for what it is. ✊🏿
You made this happen. It's going to happen.
Unfortunately, it would sell. It would most certainly sell.
@@Bookfox 🤣😬🫣🫣🫣. I'm just going to let chatgpt write it, then, and see if I can't make a few bucks. ✨🗑️✨ Lol 😆
Netflix executives taking notes.
@@Soulfulplanet1 🤣
In an AI-run virtual reality world utterly wrecked by climate change, YaoMing and his partner Jorge are determined to build a better life in the only remaining haven left on Earth, the New United States, but when a migrant-hating genderfluid transexual donning a mask emerges as leader and declares war on all non-white non-citizens, YaoMing and his lover are soon caught up in a bloody fight for their people’s rights -- all while an intense budding attraction between the three threatens to upend everything they ever knew about justice and the desires of the human heart.
I agree. Trans & climate crisis stories are adored by DEI editors & publishers. But do they sell? Netflix & Disney are losing billions on political correct narrative sermons.
Yep, that's a whole other question.
And rightly so. They write PC characters who happen to be heroes of the stories, rather than to write heroes that happen to be PC.
No they don't. Woke people don't read books.
Have you seen the comments it's all trans n rainbow n even TDS is creeping in. Those people will not finish, if they even start.
Anger won't keep you writing, passion will. Woke people lack passion, empathy, common sense all are necessary for a story n especially characters.
I already know all their characters will be victims, oppressed, artistic blah blah.
Their antagonist will be Trump, that's all.
I believe in writing injustice, LOTR is the best example, but it's ladden with friendship, loyalty, strength, passion, all things DEI chasers lack.
Woke people only do things to complain about them, that's why they love tiktok, 15 second clips n they only read headlines, not articles. Tiny attention spans, won't make it through a book.
Long form reading is pretty much the final place they haven't infected. They won't either, before they've finished reading the first chapter their mob will already trying to destroy something else so they'll stop reading immediately. As that reason to be angry has past.
Not a single Woke person has read Lord of the Rings, that's a lot of big words.
Sorry if I went on, your comment is exactly what I was thinking before I found it.
Not much imagination going on in those trends. Oof
I guess my books is something like: The Bible meets modern day Circe. Society is reverting back to the womb in the worst way possible. All progress done for women’s and queer people gets shattered after one fateful election and the female mc decides to leave mankind behind altogether, with a little help from the dark side.
I choose #2.
#1 - That pitch needs editorial work. "And now there are two of them." Two of what? Now there are two best friends??? I expect the writer is trying to say Zyair and the sister's best friend are locked up on a train.
Also, locked up on a train... how do you get locked up on a train?? It is a mode of transport, that shuttles people from one station to another. Is the writer trying to say that the train somehow got stopped in its tracks?
#3 Isn't this a pitch in the Romance genre? The pitch should have that main romantic conflict in the pitch.
Regarding trends:
So, if you're writing leftist lit, you'll have a much better chance of being published.
I'm writing about a transgender guy who lives in Ukraine and then moves to the US because of the war. Suprisingly now it sounds pretty trendy
So original..
Woke people don't read books. They can barely sit through a 10 second tik tok clip.
@@youareawesome5236 Actually, most people reading fiction novels these days are women and women, by and large, either are pro-woke or don't care about woke stuff in their books.
So there's nothing trending right now that isn't baseless, shallow, unsubstantiated, tyrannical bs?
So the actuall trends are just about being inclusive? Huh. That's actually sad
A lot of it's poorly written token-ism, unfortunately. There was one allegedly gay romance that I honestly thought was hetero until it was revealed that one of the characters, a male, was wearing a kilt... INCORRECTLY. And that was supposed to be his usual attire! Wtf? I'm not sure which part of me was offended more...my heritage or my friends that taught me gay relationships aren't just hetero relationships with one person's sex being swapped.