When it comes to books, I have a strong preference for thoughts being conveyed in italics. It just varies the text in such a way that it makes reading that much of an easier, smoother experience for me - and I don't see an issue with it.
Yeah, I don't know what he's talking about. I have read multiple recently published books that have no issue with using italics for character thoughts. It's still very common.
I have a big problem with a lot of text in a book being written in italics. It makes my eyes tired and the text cluttered, which means I can read less.
One thing I’ve learned about writing is that if a detail is essential to the story and maintains the flow, include it. Otherwise, don’t be afraid to cut anything superfluous.
Italics used for character thoughts is a hill I'm willing to defend until my last breath. I'm sorry but not everything on the page should be considered the character's thoughts. Italics for a character's thoughts is a style that needs to be championed as it avoids confusion between what is being thought by the character, what is being said by the narrator, and what the character is thinking internally rather than what's being spoken out loud. The only reason to not use italics for character thoughts would be writing in first or second person perspective. Even a close third person perspective isn't good enough to abandon italics. The absolute beauty of using italics for thoughts, even in close third person is that there's the ability to not use a "he/she/they thought" sort of tag before or after every character(s) thoughts.
I agree with him, that we shouldn't use that if we are going with a first person narrator. but if we are using a third person narrator, either limited or omniscient, we should totally use italics. But please understand that if we use first person, then the entire story is their thoughts and observations
Same here. Also, I'm reading books that came out 10 years ago or less and they ALL use italics. 😅 Asked my husband, since he reads other genres, and he told me he still sees it too.
@@rphb5870 I already addressed that point in my post, that the only reason not to use italics would be in first or second person perspectives. Even then I'd argue that using italics can be useful as well, if the narration is in past tense and the thoughts are in present tense. The vid talks about how stylistically close third person perspective should also be treated as the character's thoughts and italics shouldn't be needed, to which I thoroughly disagree.
Could be overused. But eliminate? Nah. I use internal thought italics when it is clearly the best method for delivering the thoughts, including brevity of prose, delivery of personality, etc.
I absolutely agree with your points regarding names. I'd add 'names that sound similar when spoken.' For example, Cane and Kalen may look different on the page, but ohhh boy does it make an audiobook confusing!
Oh, I had this with Conclave recently. Why did the author get away with having the main character named Lomeli and his confidant been named O'Malley? I get that you don't spot this on the page, but I'm glad they changed it for the movie.
Also many readers sound the things they're reading out in their mind instead of pattern recognizing the letters as sets, which makes every single instance of a name appearing be like "wait, which of the two [sound]-like named people I know is this one?" for a single instant. And yeah, it's not a lot, people are quick to regionalize what they read and interpret. But over a hundred thousand words it compounds, exhaustingly XD
@@sarahsander785 I recently read The Scapegoat by Daphne du Maurier, and watched the 1959 film shortly after, and noticed they changed Jean de Gue's first name. What you said about changing a name for a movie, I can see why--John and Jean are just a little too similar when you say them aloud. 😂
What? Italics for thoughts have "fallen out of favor"??? I feel like this might be solid advice for 1st-person narratives, but I think it's still acceptable for 3rd-person.
For me, I realised I write in close third person, so indeed I don't tend to need italics, but I do think that when they are extra super duper important thoughts, they can be included. I tend to use them for someone quoting some other person, like a son relaying the words of his father to his brother.
@@sarahallred Seems John confused close third person with free indirect discourse, just like someone else in this thread did. Free indirect discourse is the strangest of third person perspectives. Close third person, limited third person, and limited omniscient are all exactly the same, where the narrator is not the character, but knows only one character's thoughts at a time. Free indirect discourse is the blend of narrator and character's thoughts expressed in third person.
I do think it's outdated. For me it breaks the continuity of the momentum, when I suddenly jump into the characters head. I like to read their thoughts as part of the scene, integrated in it. That does make a difference imo.
The "introducing details just before they're needed" is so annoying. In a fantasy series by Brent Weeks, the main character had a magical sword, which was just a sword through 2 books, and in book three, it suddenly was able to be a sword which could magically change shape into different types of swords and other weaponry! Right as that particular trait came in super handy in the contrived plot! Honestly, I don't know why I even finished that series... there were other red flags well before that point. But I marveled at that, especially from a "professional" fantasy author....
I'm guessing this was Night Angel? I haven't read that series, but I read Lightbringer and didn't notice this problem. More things were introduced and revealed as the series went on, but nothing felt sudden or convenient. Maybe he leveled up as a writer
@@andrewfallman7542 Yeah, Night Angel was the series.... honestly, as much as I ultimately disliked it, I read Black Prism and thought it was much better quality....
I met an editor for a publishing company I plan to send my manuscript to and she read the first page of my book. One of the tips she gave me was to put the protagonist thoughts in italic...
This is honestly so timely and helpful. I am currently struggling to start a chapter where I ended the previous one with going to sleep. I'm realizing after watching this that it has been boring me! I'm going to figure out a different way to end the chapter and hopefully it'll be more inspiring.
"How are you Timmy?" Timmy excitedly asked. "I am fine Tommy." Tommy excitedly would reply. "You look sad Tummy!!!" Tommy exclaimed. Tommy's face was elongated and brazen, yet had a faint air of reservedness about it. Tommy sat on his big round, brown, wooden, four-legged chair. Today Tommy was going shopping for bananas, pears, apples, coconuts, shoes, socks, toothpaste, toilet paper, a brand new pen, a brand new folder, scissors, staples, oranges, a pen, a book, a comic and a nice new brown sweater. Timmy lifted his arm up to his chin and then moved his chin toward his arm. Then he took three deep breathes in and then took three long breathes out. Then Timmy took three deep breathes in and took three deep breathes out. Then Tommy raised his arm into the air and walked two steps to the right. Outside was a horse. Tommy was feeling confused. He folded his arms. Timmy thought that Tommy must have not gone to work because Tommy knows that Timmy is a lawyer and Tommy's suit, which lawyers often wear, was still in the cupboard. "I did not hit her. It's not true. It's bullshit. I did not hit her. I did not. Oh, hi Mark!"
Agreed. Related to Typoglycemia, which supposedly is an internet myth, but it works for me, Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. (I found this on a U.Chicago page, didn't write it myself.)
The way that I avoid my character names being too similar is that I tend to go onto a baby name website and look for names that either have some kind of pun or are related to the character's theme. It allows me to choose unique names for my characters without coming off as *too* unique
Asimov started a great novel with a scene of the MC waking up. Of course something alerted him there was a bomb by his head and that's what woke him up.
@@viniciusdeoliveira5869I also point out it also introduces Lady Jessica and reverend mother Gaius, two major players for the whole narrative. It’s a mundane scene with major narrative weight, even though it just introduces three characters.
The only thing I would say with the novels like Dune that are classics is that just because they're classics doesn't mean their writing is infallible. I think being able to break away from deifying favorite authors is a good step for an author to take when they write their own work.
THANK YOU for calling out all the awful books written in the present tense, especially in the first-person present tense. There is a way to do this well but 99% of authors who use this POV aren't talented enough to do it well. The worst is when authors write multiple characters in first person and separate them by declaring which character speaks at the top of each new chapter. I'm not sure why this has become a recent trend but it's just stupid and SO confusing to read!
As always, great stuff! I always look forward to your videos. Re: breaking from reality. I would think that a bathroom break, for example, should be used strategically. Otherwise, it may come across like a "going to sleep/waking up" element. If a writer needs a character to NOT be around while the other two characters discuss something, a bathroom visit may just be the solution. Or if the author wants the reader to suspect there is an illness or poisoning, frequent bathroom breaks may offer some foreshadowing. Just my VERY unprofessional opinion. :)
One pet peeve of mine in stories, is when authors put way too much spotlight on the main character. They love the protagonist so much, that the side character practically freezes in time when the main character is not with them or they assign a role to the main character even if there was a better choice available. I know we experience the world throught the protagonists eyes, but sometimes it's just too much and feels like an amateurish move to put focus on the main character.
I’m having the opposite problem where I love my side characters way more than my protagonist who’s more like a physical narrator/cameraman (it’s his literal role in the story) from which we see what sort of events are playing out and how others are reacting to them. Finding that balance is difficult, and the main issue is that he isn’t interesting enough… at least that’s what I think
That's one thing that has changed in the story I'm writing now. It started out really only caring about Elja. Everyone else felt like ghostly devices floating around him. When that became apparent that it was boring and weird, I made his brother, Wolfgang, FAR more prominent. While the experiences were still almost entirely through the perspective of Elja, Wolfgang's words and actions were as important to me to write and think about. It works for the story too, as Elja now thinks about his brother more directly, and Wolfgang affects Elja in kind. Just patting myself on the back for that one.
Did I survive I as a teen writer? 1. Kinda. I do make characters wake up during nightmares (but not like "its all a dream." Like ptsd and stuff.) I do make my characters also wake up after fainting so kinda. 2. Kinda. Some of my characters start with the same letter and even rhyme. But I try not to make it confising by either using pronouns or first person instead of their actual names. But I never really found this as a problem because Im not usually to much of a fast reader because then I'll miss parts. 3. Yes. I try really hard to avoid this by reading it aloud and stuff. 4. Yes. I never wrote that. 5. Kinda. Sometimes I use greetings but they are quick and I never was once like. "Hey." "Hello." "Your family died in a car accident." 6. Kinda. I can't get italics because I'm on mobile but I do somethings use tilted letters which look a lot like italics. Also I rarely do that, I only done that a few times. 7. Yes. I usally introduce like 3 characters on the first chapter. 8. Yes. I use other ways for information. And I try to treat the characters like I treat myself in my diary. 9. Yes. I do it all the time, giving mild hints of a character skill 10. Kinda. Sometimes they will talk to themselves but I talk to myself to so (•_•) 11. Yes. I sure to make it realistic (but i dont explain everytime a character needs to use the bathroom. 12. Im still deciding what tense to write in so :/ 6: Yes 5: Kinda 1: Unknown
This is the info I want. You're reading my mind lately. I am finding this problem in my work and the work I'm looking at from unpublished authors- something is not quite professional about it. These videos are nailing the problems. Thank you, sensei.
As an aspiring first time fantasy author, a couple of these are really surprising. I've never heard that italics for thoughts had somehow gone out of style. I use them constantly. I also have been writing in close third person present tense, and do occasionally use past tense when relevant (like in real life). The immediacy and urgency makes sense to me. Past tense feels more detached from what my character is experiencing. What you're saying is right, I am an inexperienced author and I use those things, but I don't understand why they're bad. I use italicized thoughts to break up narration and use the character's voice. I think in my own voice all the time in real life. Not everything I put on the page is something that my character would think as a high level thought, even though everything is through their perspective.
I think your point about first person creating urgency is a common one, but I don't agree. Close third person past tense can still feel extremely 'current'. Sure, the past tense words are used, but it feels in the now. Here's an excerpt from Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone: 'Yet Harry Potter was still there, asleep at the moment, but not for long. His Aunt Petunia was awake and it was her shrill voice that made the first noise of the day. "Up! Get up! Now!" Harry woke with a start. His aunt rapped on the door again. "Up!" she screeched. Harry heard her walking toward the kitchen and then the sound of the frying pan being put on the stove. He rolled onto his back and tried to remember the dream he had been having. It had been a good one. There had been a flying motorcycle in it. He had a funny feeling he'd had the same dream before.' All past tense, but it feels like it's happening just as if it was the movie version.
@@Novarcharesk That's fair enough. I know it's common practice to write most things in past tense and that it works, I just personally find it more intuitive to write in present. Maybe that's a mistake.
Mainstream authors: *makes every cliche in the book* Readers: Calm down it's just a novel Small-time writers: Doesn't scan their names with a fine-toothed comb Readers: I got to read for a fraction of a microsecond more!!! Work!!!!! *yeets it in the trash* Rules apply to me, not to thee
Okay I took notes on everything because this is all incredible information! Thank you so much. As a self-taught amateur who's working on their first draft ever, I wrote these notes to reflect on as I continue and will give me a great starting point for my first revision.
In a writers group once, a writer liked first person and present tense. She also liked to avoid simple words like see, walk, run, etc. Several times, she started sentences with, "I eye." (instead of "I see...")
Why would she use an alternative filter word instead of just getting rid of the filter word all together? I'd be so confused if I read that, it'd sound like a pirate was talking😭
@@Eidolon1andOnly I thought to myself why it might be. Part of the reason is that it's quite claustrophobic for me. EVERYTHING is filtered through one little aperture of a character. Now, that in itself could be extremely useful, especially in tense, dramatic moments, but another aspect that I don't like is that it shrinks the world for me. I'm a contemporary fantasy writer, and worldbuilding is a very important part. The freedom that third person provides to do that can't be discounted. Sure, first person CAN still accomplish these things, but not in a way that I find satisfying.
The "Mike, Mark and Matt" example is especially good, as it's not only alliterative, but also all the same length and basically the same sound. You can gett a pass with alliterative names if they aren't similar in any other way (I had a book published where the main characters are called "Andrew Richard Montgomery", "Alan Reginald Madbell" and "Alastair Madbell". The alliterations are on porpuse, to give a feel that those three man are connected on a deep level - their stepson, son and father. But the names aren't similar enough to be confused. Also I tend to refer to Andrew Richard by his last name, while Alan is Alan and Alastair normally is called by his military title). On the other hand I wrote a manuscript of a Yakuza story where all the names ended in the syllable -ko. I used it also to show a familiar conenction, but I realized that all these names are confusingly similar due to them all sounding more or less the same. So I cut it down to just my mc and his brothers having those names (they are puns, that's why I wanted to keep them). But then I realized another thing: My main character was called "Ikko" and one of the antagonists was called "Ito", two names which are FAR TOO similar sounding. They are almost the same. So - because I wanted to keep the pun names a western audience probably won't understand - I had to change Ito's name, too. Names are SO HARD.
I would modify the rule about introducing a bunch of characters in the first chapter to, "Don't introduce a bunch of characters the narrator is already familiar with." The opening of The Hobbit works because the reader is being introduced to the dwarves at the same time Bilbo is, and it doesn't matter that the reader can't keep track of them because neither can the POV character. So it would be horrible to begin a story with the POV character going to a huge Thanksgiving dinner with his own family, but it would work if he were going to meet his girlfriend's family for the first time and the narration stresses how awkward he feels because he can't remember anyone's name but they all know him because he's the only stranger there.
There is one example of As You Know Bob that I like, and it comes from the original TMNT cartoon from the 80's. Shredder explains to Krang how the doomsday machine they're building works. Krang says, "I know how it works. I invented it! Why are you explaining it to me?" Then Shredder says, "I'm not explaining it to you. I'm explaining it to them," and points at the camera. The reason I like it is because they first hang a lampshade on it and break the 4th wall, which isn't something they always do. If a story or characrer breaks the 4th wall too often, it loses its impact because the audience expects it. If it's rare and unexpected, then it's surprising and funny. Back when this first aired, it was a lot less common for stories to go meta like that, but meta humor is so commonplace now that even stories that are grounded and take themselves seriously do it, and it's not always genre-appropriate.
13) When re-introducing a character, repeat some identifying trait or mark to help the reader remember who the hell this is again... Especially with lots of characters and/or lots of 'time' between appearances.
I have a few scene transitions where a character falls asleep because the "dream" is important, and I think the juxtaposition of being snuggly and safe with the more alarming lucid dreamscape is an interesting contrast. Especially for a child. In one scene the child wakes up and you see the effects of a curse on her as she forgets important information that was relayed to her via the "dream". She's literally having the thoughts stolen from her mind.
Names are a big issue with me. When writing a novel, I make sure every character's name starts with a different letter and they have varied cadences. Instead of Bill and Tom, I might use William and Tom or Bill and Thomas.
I have one story where the character goes to sleep at the end of the chapter. That's because I switch the POV in the next chapter and it somehow seemed natural to do it in this way. Have also done present tense for one POV in the book. The character spends a lot of time assessing professional fighters compete and it made sense to use present to keep it in the moment. Past tense made it sound like we already know the outcome of that particular fight.
I 100% agree with you on the names issue. I haven't considered it much as a writer, except that it can be difficult to pick names from a somewhat limited supply. But as a reader I hate when the author gives characters similar names. I also want to add that similarity has a nearness. Names you are used to are less similar than unusual names. So for me it is much harder to read foreign names, like Chinese Wei Xu and Ying Lai are more similar than Linda and Lina (two common Swedish names), and made up fantasy names can be even harder to distinguish. Irrelevant but funny side note. When I was in uni I had brief relationship with a Chinese exchange student named Wen Ying, and after she left I dated a Singaporean girl named Yan Wei. You can probably guess what happened.
Italics aren't a dealbreaker for many readers; we just don't like page after page of just italics, because that makes it seem like there's only thinking going on and hardly any action.
Tolkien’s character names followed the language and cultures he created, so there were reasons for the similarity. Doesn’t make it any less confusing to the first time reader, but it adds to the feeling of completeness and careful construction that his world had.
Literally I used to write in present tense and as I got more skilled and comfortable writing, I switched he’d to past tense because I thought it sounded amateurish. Also switched form first person to third. Now my favourite thing is writing in third person deep POV, it is so satisfying when done right.
Talking about the names, I did realize that I have two names with two of the same consecutive letters in them, but one is three letters long and the other is eight. In thinking about this while watching the video, I realized that this connection helps me with something in the story even if they don't end up with those names.
Also think of terms if your book will ever be translated. For other speakers of another language this might be either funny, confusing or annoying. I remember one book where similarity of the names was actually cleverly laughed at (a chapter in Just Patty, where she meets a lady who tells her about her family and it so happens father, son and grandson got the same name, so she tries to keep up with whom is she talking about - which Thomas :P)
As far as italics go, when I first use them, I assign them to a specific character, such as - Mark thought, or Mark wondered. After that, i just use the italics to denote thought for any character. An astute reader does not need a reminder after the first use.
Yes, character waking up is a good place to start a scene in which we first met that character. And there is always an option that you could make a stable time loop.
The ONE saving grace for me to not get confused as a boy was that Sauron has 2 syllables, and Saruman has 3. If they shared the syllables, I would have lost my mind.
The name thing is actually kinda important. Once you get into the flow of reading a book, you'll read the dialogue but only half-register the 'said X' bit, and just sort of skip over it, so making names different, both in the way they sound, but visually, REALLY helps. And of course, try to give each character their own voice. Simply not repeating words is so important as well. You're going to be saying the like character and place names a lot, and just general grammar stuff 'the' 'and' 'a' but if you repeat a weird, uncommon, or unusual word even twice in the entire novel, it's gonna feel weird. This is super tough to do while writing, and should be reserved for editing, but just make sure not to repeat words to much (but don't feel bad if you do, even Brandon Sanderson does it, he said 'gingerly' twice within 3 pages)
I think, unless you write in an omniscent POV, it's important to keep in mind who is giving the people names. They only have a name if the POV character of the scene knows it and cares to remember. For example, the waitress may have a name tag, but did the protagonist read it? Does a gentleman know the name of his friend's butler? The butler isn't introducing himself, so he could recall it from hearing his friend calling the butler by his name. Does he remember, and what is this saying about the gentleman? The protagonist may also get names wrong or make names up. (I think it was Philipp Marlowe who gave a goon who beat him up the name "Hemingway" for some reason. So this goon had this name for the rest of the story.)
I use dialogue tags like 'the woman' and 'shorthair' (for a man with short hair) to show that my protagonist and his friend don't want to associate with these humans. I even considered using the bitch instead of the woman because my wolf like protagonist but found that went perhaps a bit too far
As far as naming unimportant characters, I did this in my first chapter for a specific purpose. The protagonist is a young noble who stops to talk to a random one-time common woman he remembers from before. And the fact that he asks her name is meant the show the empathetic nature his mother raised in him.
I am writing my first novel. I love your advice! I have a bunny named Barrington. He has a supernatural ability to think and reason like a human. I was using italics for his thoughts, because he cannot speak. How would I rectify the italics?
Overall I'm on the same page as you but writing thoughts in italics is not only a well established practice but quite helpful as a spacesaver in many genres.
I used to write in past tense, but most books in my genre are in present. Due to that, I started writing in present. Now you're making me question myself! I write a lot of action scenes (intense chase scenes) and physicality, and I find that present lends itself best to those scenes. Unless I'm wrong.
I’m thinking the same. I actually prefer writing in past tense but didn’t think it fit with the genre I’m writing. Now I’m having a “oh dear… very confused” moment.
I don't think it does, personally. You can write past tense in the words, but the action can seem entirely current. All of Harry Potter is close third person past tense, and none of it feels detached from the more high octane moments throughout the series.
Same. It likely stemmed from the fact that all the books I've ever read were in third person past tense. It's always felt right to me. For some strange reason, present tense feels somehow contrived. It's not, but it feels that way to my irrational mind.
Is the waking up from an alarm that serious of a problem? The first scene in my novel has my character meeting a mysterious woman at a bar. He immediately becomes infatuated with the woman. The next morning, he wakes up and can't remember what happened. He's now on a mission to find her.
Like he said, the scene should immediately get the plot moving. If the waking up aspect itself somehow creates tension, conflict, or mystery in the scene, then it should be fine. However, you should ask yourself if it really does the best job at putting the audience in the plot, moving forward, and doesn’t bring the events to a brief standstill. If it does, you should be good, but don’t stay married to an idea just because it was the first one you came up with. Have a good reason.
@AcaTea Thanks for the reply! That's kind of what I thought. None of my betas had a problem with it. I set out to write this novel four years ago and never knew it would be this hard. I finished it the first time about a year ago and have one round of professional edits in it. I decided it needed to be 'perfect', and that has become a daunting task. Almost there!
It sounds like him waking up is the moment the mystery is revealed (to exist), so it's a relevant story moment The video's point is more about not needing to show a detective getting up, getting ready, greeting the wife and kids and hopping in his car before arriving at the murder scene he's gonna solve. Just start at the murder scene
I think an alternative to the alarm start would be if the scene opened with the character rifling through 'something' in that effort to find her. It's more active, and gives personality. Something like that. With the alarm, the character is still just... there. You still need to get him out of the bed and doing something, so why not just start him doing that thing?
My latest, and frankly first serious story has two brothers as the main characters. Elja and Wolfgang. Got different vowels, really different sounds of all the letters, no repeating letters, no alliteration. I think I've got two good names 🤣 Their father is technically named in the story, Rudolf, but I think he works. They're all two syllables, but I think they look quite distinctive and they don't sound similar when speaking them.
Concerning the last point about present tense, I read a scifi short story anthology years ago that had editorial addendums for each story. Only one story was in present tense, and the editor lauded it as an "illuminating choice" by the author or something. Admittedly, the editor was the one who chose to include the story, so there's that bit of selection bias.
Reading Sauron and Sarumon in LoTR always drove me nuts. I always got them confused as a kid. Also in David Weber's honor Harrington series he will have 3 characters in a scene, or close chapters, all with T or H last names. Very confusing
The present tense one hurts a little, mostly because I know how everyone else feels about it... but my horror story feels better in present tense because you can't escape it. This didn't happen, it's happening. The clock didn't tick, it's ticking. Also, screenplays are written in present tense and I think I picture this playing out on the big screen. Having said that, it will probably change into a boring old past tense story just like every other boring, old, past tense story.
The resistance to present tense might be related to your comment about screenplays. It seems that a lot of present tense writers are writing a tv show in their head, but in prose format, which doesn't fit, and becomes difficult to read for many.
Thank you! This was a very encouraging video for my writing journey. After 6 years on my first fantasy novel (5 in revision, just about done), I'm nailing most of these. One I'd love feedback on (from anyone!) is 7:44: I want to to show character grown of the MC by mirroring something from my 1st chapter to my last chapter. I do this by bringing up how he views his best friend in chapter 1 (very short paragraph), but then we don't meet the friend until the very end of the book... Should I name him? Drop that part entirely from chapter 1? Somehow call him "his best friend?" Might not be easy, but when is writing easy =) ------ I also struggle with this from a realism standpoint: My MC mentions his supervisor at work, but he wouldn't think of him as his "supervisor." He would name him, so I think I need a couple of throwaway names. Will just try to keep them to a minimum methinks.
I am doing a present tense in my latest novel but only because I have always written in past and wanted to challenge myself. I know it might put some people "off" but I think it works for this first book in the series. I will probably play with tenses in the sequels. So the first book is in present, then the next would be past tense working up to the ending of the second book, where we'll catch up with the character again and do present tense in the third book again. It's an experiment - might work or might not, only time will tell.
That sounds like you have a strong, defensible reason for why you're using present tense. That's really what I'm pushing for -- for people to question their use of it, and make sure they know why they're choosing it.
@@Bookfox Ya thanks for the video, seems like the only major issue for me was the present tense element, but the rest of the issues are top notch. Thanks again!
I only allow my characters to sleep between chapters, because of the dream sequence. I love doing dream sequences, because it shows the past of a character or the fears of that character. I can even dop little hits to the next setting or foreshadow. Especially when it comes to mythological sub text.
I loved all these points! Regarding Repetitive Sentence Structures, I loved The Art of Syntax by Ellen Bryant Voigt, where she talks about this in prose and poetry. Keep the videos coming!
As you know Bob dialog = Exposition ? 1. Use an object. 2. Have a little sparing, joking, or doing something. A good example of this I've noticed. I Love Lucy/Lavern and Shirley where they're holding a conversation while working on the factory line or doing house work, sipping coffee in the diner. Help the reader feel immersed and casual rather than itemized and robotic. Thank You for the education. Awesome video. 👍💥
I always find myself slipping into present tense no matter what. Even if I start the first few sentences in past tense, I will slip into present without thinking about it, and then I'm like, screw it, this is what I'm going with. My thinking is, unless the story is being told retroactively by an older narrator looking back, unless it has that frame, there's no reason not to tell it presently, if it's something currently happening. Or it can be used in a subversive way - one of my favorite novels is A Maggot, by John Fowles, and I just realized that though it's set in the past and from the opening sentence we are told as such, the majority is written in present tense ('In the late and last afternoon of an April long ago, a forlorn little group of travellers cross a remote upland in the far south-west of England'). There's a few times where the narration smoothly dips into past tense before switching back to present seemingly at random. I don't think I've ever seen anything else done like that.
@Novarcharesk not really. Whatever tense you prefer, I don't care. Why are you trying to make a thing of it? I just explained my reasoning, but really it's simply because I by default go to it, and think I happen to write slightly better in the present tense.
@@nl3064 Didn't 'make a thing' about it. I'm pointing out that the perception that present tense has an inherent advantage on immersion to past tense is baseless, and frankly, myopic.
@ I’m reading between the lines, honey 😂 Why else would you be mentioning past tense only making sense if it was being told retroactively by a character? I don’t care what you write in, but I’m quickly seeing that the present tense fans have strangely defensive responses. I guess that makes sense given younger writers prefer it, so they’re gonna get their back up more easily.
I’m writing my first novel and want to know if it’s absolutely necessary to describe my characters in detail? Do I have to describe them at all? Such as physical appearance
I thought I'd created original character names, but two are named Willet and Hatchet. Although for world-building, you can indicate culture with similar names. To bring up McCaffrey again, all the dragons have -eth names, and apostrophed names indicated a (male) human bonded to a (living) dragon. It was a handy shortcut, but it brings up another name issue - clarity in pronunciation. Twenty years later, and I'm still not sure how to pronounce F'lar. I hadn't considered how italicized thoughts are affected by omniscient POV - good point! I still use italics in limited third, but sparingly. Mostly as nonverbal dialogue - when the character is thinking about a thing they could say to a person, but don't say it. Or remembering a direct quote from someone else. I've noticed the present tense thing, too - do you have theories on why beginner writers prefer it? The most common reason I hear from writers is that it feels more immersive. Maybe as you acquire more tools in your toolkit, you find other ways of creating immersion, and switch to past for its greater flexibility. Unrelated to writing, but where is the human puppet scene from 10:35 from? Because I need to watch that.
I had two characters in a story called Tiu and Tao..... and in the same faction no less! Eventually Tao became Hao when I realized it was going to cause confusion issues.
Absolutely agree with #12. In the bookshop, I always flip through the first few pages. If present tense, no matter the subject, no matter the hook in the blurb, back it goes on the shelf. Reading a novel is suspension of disbelief. We know this story never happened, but we want to trick ourselves into thinking it really did. Otherwise, who cares who lives or dies? With a past tense book, I can imagine that someone, even an omniscient author, wrote something that happened. But I cannot magine that words printed (or KDP'd) months or years ago are happening now. That's impossible. I want to reserve all my SofD capabilities for investing in the story, not for overcoming an ongoing, always present, reminder that this is just a contrived story. Having said that, there is a short section in my own soon to appear novel where exactly this happens. But that section is written by an AI fast enough to document events in real time. What makes sense? That is what every author should ask.
You should do one of these for endings. I understand that you make a promise at the start and then make good, or better, on it at the end. But I'm sure you can think up stuff we should know about endings and epilogues and HOW TO END please lol Ends feel awkward to me, the equivalent of saying goodbye. feels weird.
something that bugs me is people going through a very specific list of every single thing the characters are wearing unless it's somehow relevant to the plot. "she wore a gray shirt with black pants and gray socks with white shoes"
What about characterization? Mentioning the socks might be a bit too much, but gray shirt and black pants says something about the character completely different from "she wore argyle socks, black clogs, a black skirt, and a crisp oxford cotton shirt."
Ian McEwan’s Saturday is in the present tense and I think it works there. He wants the reader to be as present as possible after all, since the whole story is one day. But I agree it’s not always ideal.
Sure, there are plenty of books where it works well. I've read Saturday and I agree that McEwan justified it since it was all happening on a single day.
In my sci-fi stories, my names can be very alien with a string of numbers and letters or some clearly not english upper and lower case. The two things I go to now are using titles such as Chief of Security or 1st Navigator. But I do limit the really strange names to one per story. On another topic, I've gone to brackets for psi and pointy brackets for non-verbal such as text or gesture. This method means no "he said psionically" or the secret message was only seen by the Communications Officer (CO).
I am thinking, what should part of chapter should be, does the character in the story will be facing now the main conflict, the challenge, the reason as to why the story was made after all?
I would like to see what a boring "goes to sleep" scene looks like in a book. I think the only times I had a chapter end with the character falling asleep was one when the next chapter opened with their *very* strange dream (and then waking up all disoriented), and another when the character was having emotional turmoil and cried themselves to sleep (waking up the next morning with puffy eyes and still feeling like crap). I feel like I used it very purposefully, so I'm curious to see what a "eh, they fell asleep" version looks like 🤔
In regards to your point with the names... It just reminded me of Handbook For Mortals. All the characters have single syllable names, but they've stuck in my head ever since then: Mac, Tad, Cam, Zade... 😂 (never read the book but saw tonnes of videos about it)
Ha ha. I mean, We know Sa names sound evil for a reason (Hello, Satan), but to also have them share the U and end in N ... was a bit much. Still, I love Tolkien.
For using past tense , it really really complicated when time manipulation comes in . When a character comes in present , from future ,its future of mc but from the time traveler's perspective its his (time traveller's) past .
Can someone elaborate on what corners of what genres italicizing character thoughts has persisted? Because I write romance, and even though I write in the first person I've been switching to italics once or twice a chapter to emphasize the direct thoughts of the narrator. Is this amateurish? Should I stop?
12:37 This was something that took me out of Entergalactic by Kid Cudi. The main characters are artists who live in New York City and spend most of their time partying, and they're just completely financially comfortable as nobody artists. It's silly.
I wish that I would have heard your tip on names earlier, I am staring on the second book in my series and it is too late to change the names now, in my 1st book my bad guys were twins Victor and Valen, and my heros that are born in book 1 are also brothers Arthur and Andreaus, so in book 2 they are my main characters. I am a such a amature with names.😕
Having characters with similar names on purpose is fine. In this case its the parents fault. Realistic even, all six of my siblings have J names. Its fairly common.
A trick you can use to circumvent this is nicknames. I have a duo of characters whose names are Nick and Mick, but in his introduction, Mick tells everyone else to call him by his last name to avoid the confusion. So if you have characters like twins who were given similar names, you could do something like this where one shortens their name (Victor to Vi) or goes by a nickname.
@@Gawainer Not a good tip at all. It can apply to some styles, such as first person perspective, but not for most forms of third person perspective, even close third person. Free indirect discourse is a weird third person style where not italicizing thoughts would mostly apply, but even then I'd argue that some thoughts being in italics still makes sense if it's acting similarly to dialogue (technically monologue) and adds some flavor to the scene.
i'll admit that i use the "begin/end a scene with waking up/going to sleep" thing fairly often, but as yet it's only in one particular story and the main reason for it is because of... _ahem..._ reasons that i can't really discuss in polite company but, uh, there's _very good reasons_ that the characters were in bed ;) :P at present, i don't think alot of my other projects will be using that as frequently since the content of them is going to be very different.
Sentence structure repetition is the bane of my existence. I simply CANNOT stop using "but" sentence - he wasn't the smartest but he still solved the riddle. I try my best to use them less but they keep popping up
I'm a beginner so I'll continue screwing up and learning one bit at a time... I imagine that if I'd try to fix everyone problem at once it's just become a mess.
I've read it, and I enjoyed it, though yes, it was extremely difficult to keep track of the hundreds of characters. I know several people who gave up on that book and still hate it to this day for the sheer number of characters he threw at the reader. So do it if you want to, just recognize the downsides.
@@Bookfox I'm just cracking a joke about how one of the most revered novels of all time does it. (It took me three attempts to actually read it, but it's worth the effort. Most people's books aren't gonna be worth that effort no matter what they do with character names lol.)
When it comes to books, I have a strong preference for thoughts being conveyed in italics. It just varies the text in such a way that it makes reading that much of an easier, smoother experience for me - and I don't see an issue with it.
Yeah, I don't know what he's talking about. I have read multiple recently published books that have no issue with using italics for character thoughts. It's still very common.
I have a big problem with a lot of text in a book being written in italics. It makes my eyes tired and the text cluttered, which means I can read less.
One thing I’ve learned about writing is that if a detail is essential to the story and maintains the flow, include it. Otherwise, don’t be afraid to cut anything superfluous.
Italics used for character thoughts is a hill I'm willing to defend until my last breath. I'm sorry but not everything on the page should be considered the character's thoughts. Italics for a character's thoughts is a style that needs to be championed as it avoids confusion between what is being thought by the character, what is being said by the narrator, and what the character is thinking internally rather than what's being spoken out loud. The only reason to not use italics for character thoughts would be writing in first or second person perspective. Even a close third person perspective isn't good enough to abandon italics. The absolute beauty of using italics for thoughts, even in close third person is that there's the ability to not use a "he/she/they thought" sort of tag before or after every character(s) thoughts.
I agree with him, that we shouldn't use that if we are going with a first person narrator. but if we are using a third person narrator, either limited or omniscient, we should totally use italics.
But please understand that if we use first person, then the entire story is their thoughts and observations
Same here. Also, I'm reading books that came out 10 years ago or less and they ALL use italics. 😅
Asked my husband, since he reads other genres, and he told me he still sees it too.
Totes agree
@@rphb5870 I already addressed that point in my post, that the only reason not to use italics would be in first or second person perspectives. Even then I'd argue that using italics can be useful as well, if the narration is in past tense and the thoughts are in present tense. The vid talks about how stylistically close third person perspective should also be treated as the character's thoughts and italics shouldn't be needed, to which I thoroughly disagree.
Could be overused. But eliminate? Nah. I use internal thought italics when it is clearly the best method for delivering the thoughts, including brevity of prose, delivery of personality, etc.
Avoid character names with only one vowel, says John Fox on his channel Bookfox. Sorry, couldn't resist that one.
🤣
Ya got me! I blame my parents.
@@johnhughes2653 Just imagine his middle name is Otto. "John Otto Fox"
@@Bookfox I could never blame people named Mr. Fox and Mrs. Fox.
I absolutely agree with your points regarding names. I'd add 'names that sound similar when spoken.' For example, Cane and Kalen may look different on the page, but ohhh boy does it make an audiobook confusing!
Oh, that's a great point!
Oh, I had this with Conclave recently. Why did the author get away with having the main character named Lomeli and his confidant been named O'Malley? I get that you don't spot this on the page, but I'm glad they changed it for the movie.
Also many readers sound the things they're reading out in their mind instead of pattern recognizing the letters as sets, which makes every single instance of a name appearing be like "wait, which of the two [sound]-like named people I know is this one?" for a single instant. And yeah, it's not a lot, people are quick to regionalize what they read and interpret. But over a hundred thousand words it compounds, exhaustingly XD
@@sarahsander785 I recently read The Scapegoat by Daphne du Maurier, and watched the 1959 film shortly after, and noticed they changed Jean de Gue's first name. What you said about changing a name for a movie, I can see why--John and Jean are just a little too similar when you say them aloud. 😂
In my books I have Nathan and Natasha, and Alice and Ellis hahaha
What? Italics for thoughts have "fallen out of favor"??? I feel like this might be solid advice for 1st-person narratives, but I think it's still acceptable for 3rd-person.
100% agree. Majority of the time I see the reasoning but I think this one stood out.
For me, I realised I write in close third person, so indeed I don't tend to need italics, but I do think that when they are extra super duper important thoughts, they can be included.
I tend to use them for someone quoting some other person, like a son relaying the words of his father to his brother.
@@sarahallred Seems John confused close third person with free indirect discourse, just like someone else in this thread did. Free indirect discourse is the strangest of third person perspectives. Close third person, limited third person, and limited omniscient are all exactly the same, where the narrator is not the character, but knows only one character's thoughts at a time. Free indirect discourse is the blend of narrator and character's thoughts expressed in third person.
@Eidolon1andOnly Useful explanations.
I do think it's outdated. For me it breaks the continuity of the momentum, when I suddenly jump into the characters head. I like to read their thoughts as part of the scene, integrated in it. That does make a difference imo.
I really want to write a story with three characters named Sean, Shawn, and Shaun.
I DARE YOU. 😂 😂 😂
That kind of thing would defs work perfectly with comedy :P
A comedy right?
Mad lad
Audiobook listeners: 👁👄👁
The "introducing details just before they're needed" is so annoying. In a fantasy series by Brent Weeks, the main character had a magical sword, which was just a sword through 2 books, and in book three, it suddenly was able to be a sword which could magically change shape into different types of swords and other weaponry! Right as that particular trait came in super handy in the contrived plot! Honestly, I don't know why I even finished that series... there were other red flags well before that point. But I marveled at that, especially from a "professional" fantasy author....
Oof, that would hit hard. Why wouldn't the author just have them find another weapon? :P
*cries in LITRPG
I'm guessing this was Night Angel? I haven't read that series, but I read Lightbringer and didn't notice this problem. More things were introduced and revealed as the series went on, but nothing felt sudden or convenient. Maybe he leveled up as a writer
@@andrewfallman7542 Yeah, Night Angel was the series.... honestly, as much as I ultimately disliked it, I read Black Prism and thought it was much better quality....
I met an editor for a publishing company I plan to send my manuscript to and she read the first page of my book. One of the tips she gave me was to put the protagonist thoughts in italic...
When I write dialogue, I use double inveretd commas, whereas for thoughts, I use single inverted commas.
@Nyara-j4y I dunno, for me, " and ' are so similar, that I would bet I could miss that from time to time.
This is honestly so timely and helpful. I am currently struggling to start a chapter where I ended the previous one with going to sleep. I'm realizing after watching this that it has been boring me! I'm going to figure out a different way to end the chapter and hopefully it'll be more inspiring.
Glad it was helpful!
"How are you Timmy?" Timmy excitedly asked.
"I am fine Tommy." Tommy excitedly would reply.
"You look sad Tummy!!!" Tommy exclaimed.
Tommy's face was elongated and brazen, yet had a faint air of reservedness about it. Tommy sat on his big round, brown, wooden, four-legged chair.
Today Tommy was going shopping for bananas, pears, apples, coconuts, shoes, socks, toothpaste, toilet paper, a brand new pen, a brand new folder, scissors, staples, oranges, a pen, a book, a comic and a nice new brown sweater.
Timmy lifted his arm up to his chin and then moved his chin toward his arm. Then he took three deep breathes in and then took three long breathes out. Then Timmy took three deep breathes in and took three deep breathes out.
Then Tommy raised his arm into the air and walked two steps to the right. Outside was a horse. Tommy was feeling confused. He folded his arms. Timmy thought that Tommy must have not gone to work because Tommy knows that Timmy is a lawyer and Tommy's suit, which lawyers often wear, was still in the cupboard.
"I did not hit her. It's not true. It's bullshit. I did not hit her. I did not. Oh, hi Mark!"
You’re not crazy with any one of your points about differentiating names. 100% it gets on my nerves when an author does any of those things.
Agreed. Related to Typoglycemia, which supposedly is an internet myth, but it works for me,
Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
(I found this on a U.Chicago page, didn't write it myself.)
I recently realized I had a Brad, Brian and Ryan in my WIP. I was kind of embarrassed lol
The way that I avoid my character names being too similar is that I tend to go onto a baby name website and look for names that either have some kind of pun or are related to the character's theme. It allows me to choose unique names for my characters without coming off as *too* unique
Confusing readers and boring readers are the Scylla and Charybdis of writing.
yes but sailing right between them will keep readers on the edge of their seat
Asimov started a great novel with a scene of the MC waking up. Of course something alerted him there was a bomb by his head and that's what woke him up.
See, that falls into the "transformed into a giant cockroach" type of waking up. That's a waking up that starts with action!
I believe Dune also starts with Paul Atreides waking up and seeing the rain outside his window and the rain reflects how he feels.
@@viniciusdeoliveira5869 this only means that mundane scenes are better handled by pros. :)
@@viniciusdeoliveira5869I also point out it also introduces Lady Jessica and reverend mother Gaius, two major players for the whole narrative. It’s a mundane scene with major narrative weight, even though it just introduces three characters.
The only thing I would say with the novels like Dune that are classics is that just because they're classics doesn't mean their writing is infallible. I think being able to break away from deifying favorite authors is a good step for an author to take when they write their own work.
THANK YOU for calling out all the awful books written in the present tense, especially in the first-person present tense. There is a way to do this well but 99% of authors who use this POV aren't talented enough to do it well. The worst is when authors write multiple characters in first person and separate them by declaring which character speaks at the top of each new chapter. I'm not sure why this has become a recent trend but it's just stupid and SO confusing to read!
As always, great stuff! I always look forward to your videos.
Re: breaking from reality. I would think that a bathroom break, for example, should be used strategically. Otherwise, it may come across like a "going to sleep/waking up" element.
If a writer needs a character to NOT be around while the other two characters discuss something, a bathroom visit may just be the solution.
Or if the author wants the reader to suspect there is an illness or poisoning, frequent bathroom breaks may offer some foreshadowing.
Just my VERY unprofessional opinion. :)
Bathroom breaks are used so rarely unless its to hint at a pregnancy. I honestly can't think of any other time I've seen them. : /
One pet peeve of mine in stories, is when authors put way too much spotlight on the main character. They love the protagonist so much, that the side character practically freezes in time when the main character is not with them or they assign a role to the main character even if there was a better choice available. I know we experience the world throught the protagonists eyes, but sometimes it's just too much and feels like an amateurish move to put focus on the main character.
Totally agree, sometimes readers want to know what other people behave like when MC is not the main focus.
Showing how the MC reacts to their friends and side characters issues is a great way of showing their character as well.
I’m having the opposite problem where I love my side characters way more than my protagonist who’s more like a physical narrator/cameraman (it’s his literal role in the story) from which we see what sort of events are playing out and how others are reacting to them. Finding that balance is difficult, and the main issue is that he isn’t interesting enough… at least that’s what I think
@@YamaGaYobu Change the MC to the most favourite side character :)
That's one thing that has changed in the story I'm writing now. It started out really only caring about Elja. Everyone else felt like ghostly devices floating around him.
When that became apparent that it was boring and weird, I made his brother, Wolfgang, FAR more prominent. While the experiences were still almost entirely through the perspective of Elja, Wolfgang's words and actions were as important to me to write and think about. It works for the story too, as Elja now thinks about his brother more directly, and Wolfgang affects Elja in kind.
Just patting myself on the back for that one.
Did I survive I as a teen writer?
1. Kinda. I do make characters wake up during nightmares (but not like "its all a dream." Like ptsd and stuff.) I do make my characters also wake up after fainting so kinda.
2. Kinda. Some of my characters start with the same letter and even rhyme. But I try not to make it confising by either using pronouns or first person instead of their actual names. But I never really found this as a problem because Im not usually to much of a fast reader because then I'll miss parts.
3. Yes. I try really hard to avoid this by reading it aloud and stuff.
4. Yes. I never wrote that.
5. Kinda. Sometimes I use greetings but they are quick and I never was once like.
"Hey."
"Hello."
"Your family died in a car accident."
6. Kinda. I can't get italics because I'm on mobile but I do somethings use tilted letters which look a lot like italics. Also I rarely do that, I only done that a few times.
7. Yes. I usally introduce like 3 characters on the first chapter.
8. Yes. I use other ways for information. And I try to treat the characters like I treat myself in my diary.
9. Yes. I do it all the time, giving mild hints of a character skill
10. Kinda. Sometimes they will talk to themselves but I talk to myself to so (•_•)
11. Yes. I sure to make it realistic (but i dont explain everytime a character needs to use the bathroom.
12. Im still deciding what tense to write in so :/
6: Yes
5: Kinda
1: Unknown
This is the info I want. You're reading my mind lately. I am finding this problem in my work and the work I'm looking at from unpublished authors- something is not quite professional about it. These videos are nailing the problems. Thank you, sensei.
As an aspiring first time fantasy author, a couple of these are really surprising. I've never heard that italics for thoughts had somehow gone out of style. I use them constantly. I also have been writing in close third person present tense, and do occasionally use past tense when relevant (like in real life). The immediacy and urgency makes sense to me. Past tense feels more detached from what my character is experiencing.
What you're saying is right, I am an inexperienced author and I use those things, but I don't understand why they're bad. I use italicized thoughts to break up narration and use the character's voice. I think in my own voice all the time in real life. Not everything I put on the page is something that my character would think as a high level thought, even though everything is through their perspective.
Simple answer:
Italics for thoughts are good, the video is wrong about this.
Don't listen to him on the italics issue, it is still very common and fully accepted in the publishing industry.
Italics for thoughts are still widely used outside of North America as well.
I think your point about first person creating urgency is a common one, but I don't agree. Close third person past tense can still feel extremely 'current'. Sure, the past tense words are used, but it feels in the now. Here's an excerpt from Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone:
'Yet Harry Potter was still there, asleep at the moment, but not for long. His Aunt Petunia was awake and it was her shrill voice that made the first noise of the day.
"Up! Get up! Now!"
Harry woke with a start. His aunt rapped on the door again.
"Up!" she screeched. Harry heard her walking toward the kitchen and then the sound of the frying pan being put on the stove. He rolled onto his back and tried to remember the dream he had been having. It had been a good one. There had been a flying motorcycle in it. He had a funny feeling he'd had the same dream before.'
All past tense, but it feels like it's happening just as if it was the movie version.
@@Novarcharesk That's fair enough. I know it's common practice to write most things in past tense and that it works, I just personally find it more intuitive to write in present. Maybe that's a mistake.
"I'm Larry. This is my brother, Darryl, and this is my other brother, Darryl."
Mainstream authors: *makes every cliche in the book*
Readers: Calm down it's just a novel
Small-time writers: Doesn't scan their names with a fine-toothed comb
Readers: I got to read for a fraction of a microsecond more!!! Work!!!!! *yeets it in the trash*
Rules apply to me, not to thee
Okay I took notes on everything because this is all incredible information! Thank you so much. As a self-taught amateur who's working on their first draft ever, I wrote these notes to reflect on as I continue and will give me a great starting point for my first revision.
In a writers group once, a writer liked first person and present tense. She also liked to avoid simple words like see, walk, run, etc. Several times, she started sentences with, "I eye." (instead of "I see...")
Why would she use an alternative filter word instead of just getting rid of the filter word all together? I'd be so confused if I read that, it'd sound like a pirate was talking😭
I eye... captain?
I don't exactly know why, but I personally detest first person present tense. It's totally irrational, I can't explain it 🤣
@@Novarcharesk I dislike present tense entirely, and barely like any first person perspective narratives, but blending both together annoys me too.
@@Eidolon1andOnly I thought to myself why it might be. Part of the reason is that it's quite claustrophobic for me. EVERYTHING is filtered through one little aperture of a character.
Now, that in itself could be extremely useful, especially in tense, dramatic moments, but another aspect that I don't like is that it shrinks the world for me. I'm a contemporary fantasy writer, and worldbuilding is a very important part. The freedom that third person provides to do that can't be discounted.
Sure, first person CAN still accomplish these things, but not in a way that I find satisfying.
The "Mike, Mark and Matt" example is especially good, as it's not only alliterative, but also all the same length and basically the same sound. You can gett a pass with alliterative names if they aren't similar in any other way (I had a book published where the main characters are called "Andrew Richard Montgomery", "Alan Reginald Madbell" and "Alastair Madbell". The alliterations are on porpuse, to give a feel that those three man are connected on a deep level - their stepson, son and father. But the names aren't similar enough to be confused. Also I tend to refer to Andrew Richard by his last name, while Alan is Alan and Alastair normally is called by his military title).
On the other hand I wrote a manuscript of a Yakuza story where all the names ended in the syllable -ko. I used it also to show a familiar conenction, but I realized that all these names are confusingly similar due to them all sounding more or less the same. So I cut it down to just my mc and his brothers having those names (they are puns, that's why I wanted to keep them). But then I realized another thing: My main character was called "Ikko" and one of the antagonists was called "Ito", two names which are FAR TOO similar sounding. They are almost the same. So - because I wanted to keep the pun names a western audience probably won't understand - I had to change Ito's name, too. Names are SO HARD.
Isn't -ko a typical ending for a girls name, so fairly common?
I would modify the rule about introducing a bunch of characters in the first chapter to, "Don't introduce a bunch of characters the narrator is already familiar with." The opening of The Hobbit works because the reader is being introduced to the dwarves at the same time Bilbo is, and it doesn't matter that the reader can't keep track of them because neither can the POV character.
So it would be horrible to begin a story with the POV character going to a huge Thanksgiving dinner with his own family, but it would work if he were going to meet his girlfriend's family for the first time and the narration stresses how awkward he feels because he can't remember anyone's name but they all know him because he's the only stranger there.
How I get my first person mc described is he and a bully scream insults about each other’s looks. I hope it was natural.
There is one example of As You Know Bob that I like, and it comes from the original TMNT cartoon from the 80's.
Shredder explains to Krang how the doomsday machine they're building works. Krang says, "I know how it works. I invented it! Why are you explaining it to me?" Then Shredder says, "I'm not explaining it to you. I'm explaining it to them," and points at the camera.
The reason I like it is because they first hang a lampshade on it and break the 4th wall, which isn't something they always do. If a story or characrer breaks the 4th wall too often, it loses its impact because the audience expects it. If it's rare and unexpected, then it's surprising and funny. Back when this first aired, it was a lot less common for stories to go meta like that, but meta humor is so commonplace now that even stories that are grounded and take themselves seriously do it, and it's not always genre-appropriate.
Ha! I love that example! Drawing attention to that style of poor writing is really funny and clever.
13) When re-introducing a character, repeat some identifying trait or mark to help the reader remember who the hell this is again...
Especially with lots of characters and/or lots of 'time' between appearances.
I have a few scene transitions where a character falls asleep because the "dream" is important, and I think the juxtaposition of being snuggly and safe with the more alarming lucid dreamscape is an interesting contrast. Especially for a child. In one scene the child wakes up and you see the effects of a curse on her as she forgets important information that was relayed to her via the "dream". She's literally having the thoughts stolen from her mind.
The best TH-cam channel that I’ve ever came Across. Highly underrated
I always love.... Wait. Stop. I loved your video, as always!
Names are a big issue with me. When writing a novel, I make sure every character's name starts with a different letter and they have varied cadences. Instead of Bill and Tom, I might use William and Tom or Bill and Thomas.
I have one story where the character goes to sleep at the end of the chapter. That's because I switch the POV in the next chapter and it somehow seemed natural to do it in this way.
Have also done present tense for one POV in the book. The character spends a lot of time assessing professional fighters compete and it made sense to use present to keep it in the moment. Past tense made it sound like we already know the outcome of that particular fight.
I 100% agree with you on the names issue. I haven't considered it much as a writer, except that it can be difficult to pick names from a somewhat limited supply. But as a reader I hate when the author gives characters similar names. I also want to add that similarity has a nearness. Names you are used to are less similar than unusual names. So for me it is much harder to read foreign names, like Chinese Wei Xu and Ying Lai are more similar than Linda and Lina (two common Swedish names), and made up fantasy names can be even harder to distinguish.
Irrelevant but funny side note. When I was in uni I had brief relationship with a Chinese exchange student named Wen Ying, and after she left I dated a Singaporean girl named Yan Wei. You can probably guess what happened.
I like baby name websites for name ideas. There also websites which have people saying names too!
7:14 Now I have to research alternatives to italics! Ugh! 😭
Anyway, glad I subscribed. Have a blessed day 🙏🏼!
Italics aren't a dealbreaker for many readers; we just don't like page after page of just italics, because that makes it seem like there's only thinking going on and hardly any action.
Tolkien didn't mind similar character names. Fingolfin , Finrod, Finarfin...😂
Tolkien’s character names followed the language and cultures he created, so there were reasons for the similarity. Doesn’t make it any less confusing to the first time reader, but it adds to the feeling of completeness and careful construction that his world had.
@@SzlaterThe perfect response.
Nah, that had a specific reason, to bind those characters together as a common group.
Literally I used to write in present tense and as I got more skilled and comfortable writing, I switched he’d to past tense because I thought it sounded amateurish. Also switched form first person to third. Now my favourite thing is writing in third person deep POV, it is so satisfying when done right.
Talking about the names, I did realize that I have two names with two of the same consecutive letters in them, but one is three letters long and the other is eight. In thinking about this while watching the video, I realized that this connection helps me with something in the story even if they don't end up with those names.
Also think of terms if your book will ever be translated. For other speakers of another language this might be either funny, confusing or annoying.
I remember one book where similarity of the names was actually cleverly laughed at (a chapter in Just Patty, where she meets a lady who tells her about her family and it so happens father, son and grandson got the same name, so she tries to keep up with whom is she talking about - which Thomas :P)
may I ask. what do ye think of the names Mie and Mads
I am using them for a couple in my novel and they are basically always together
As far as italics go, when I first use them, I assign them to a specific character, such as - Mark thought, or Mark wondered. After that, i just use the italics to denote thought for any character. An astute reader does not need a reminder after the first use.
These are all important points. Thank you again for an informative video.
Yes, character waking up is a good place to start a scene in which we first met that character. And there is always an option that you could make a stable time loop.
Similar names. I have a beef with JRR Tolkien for naming his two villains Sauron and Saruman. Sent him an email. Haven't heard back yet.
The ONE saving grace for me to not get confused as a boy was that Sauron has 2 syllables, and Saruman has 3. If they shared the syllables, I would have lost my mind.
1:30 I can attest to this personally. I was named Mark, and my brothers were named Matthew and Michael. It confuses my parents all the time😂
When you were talking about italics going out of style it made me reflect on books themselves going out of style. Thanks for the video.
I don't think they are, not at all. They are a very specific medium that cannot be supplanted by film.
@@Novarcharesk In most people's lives books have been supplanted by film. Don't think I'm saying film and books are the same.
The name thing is actually kinda important. Once you get into the flow of reading a book, you'll read the dialogue but only half-register the 'said X' bit, and just sort of skip over it, so making names different, both in the way they sound, but visually, REALLY helps. And of course, try to give each character their own voice.
Simply not repeating words is so important as well. You're going to be saying the like character and place names a lot, and just general grammar stuff 'the' 'and' 'a' but if you repeat a weird, uncommon, or unusual word even twice in the entire novel, it's gonna feel weird. This is super tough to do while writing, and should be reserved for editing, but just make sure not to repeat words to much (but don't feel bad if you do, even Brandon Sanderson does it, he said 'gingerly' twice within 3 pages)
I think, unless you write in an omniscent POV, it's important to keep in mind who is giving the people names. They only have a name if the POV character of the scene knows it and cares to remember. For example, the waitress may have a name tag, but did the protagonist read it?
Does a gentleman know the name of his friend's butler? The butler isn't introducing himself, so he could recall it from hearing his friend calling the butler by his name. Does he remember, and what is this saying about the gentleman?
The protagonist may also get names wrong or make names up. (I think it was Philipp Marlowe who gave a goon who beat him up the name "Hemingway" for some reason. So this goon had this name for the rest of the story.)
I use dialogue tags like 'the woman' and 'shorthair' (for a man with short hair) to show that my protagonist and his friend don't want to associate with these humans. I even considered using the bitch instead of the woman because my wolf like protagonist but found that went perhaps a bit too far
As far as naming unimportant characters, I did this in my first chapter for a specific purpose. The protagonist is a young noble who stops to talk to a random one-time common woman he remembers from before. And the fact that he asks her name is meant the show the empathetic nature his mother raised in him.
Is one truly empathetic because they deigned to remember A name? 😅
I am writing my first novel. I love your advice! I have a bunny named Barrington. He has a supernatural ability to think and reason like a human. I was using italics for his thoughts, because he cannot speak. How would I rectify the italics?
Just ignore his advice on this one. No one, myself included, or any fiction book I have read from any decade in the modern era, agrees with this.
@@micahblakeslee Thanks.
Overall I'm on the same page as you but writing thoughts in italics is not only a well established practice but quite helpful as a spacesaver in many genres.
Sir! Helpful as always! Thank you for this!
I used to write in past tense, but most books in my genre are in present. Due to that, I started writing in present. Now you're making me question myself! I write a lot of action scenes (intense chase scenes) and physicality, and I find that present lends itself best to those scenes. Unless I'm wrong.
I’m thinking the same. I actually prefer writing in past tense but didn’t think it fit with the genre I’m writing.
Now I’m having a “oh dear… very confused” moment.
@@francescagreetham1804 You can write in the past tense, and still use active prose which have a great deal of presence.
I don't think it does, personally. You can write past tense in the words, but the action can seem entirely current. All of Harry Potter is close third person past tense, and none of it feels detached from the more high octane moments throughout the series.
I personally like using past tense for some reason. Every since i started writing.
Same. I think it's because most of the books I read are in past tense
Same. It likely stemmed from the fact that all the books I've ever read were in third person past tense. It's always felt right to me. For some strange reason, present tense feels somehow contrived.
It's not, but it feels that way to my irrational mind.
Is the waking up from an alarm that serious of a problem? The first scene in my novel has my character meeting a mysterious woman at a bar. He immediately becomes infatuated with the woman. The next morning, he wakes up and can't remember what happened. He's now on a mission to find her.
Like he said, the scene should immediately get the plot moving. If the waking up aspect itself somehow creates tension, conflict, or mystery in the scene, then it should be fine. However, you should ask yourself if it really does the best job at putting the audience in the plot, moving forward, and doesn’t bring the events to a brief standstill. If it does, you should be good, but don’t stay married to an idea just because it was the first one you came up with. Have a good reason.
@AcaTea Thanks for the reply! That's kind of what I thought. None of my betas had a problem with it. I set out to write this novel four years ago and never knew it would be this hard. I finished it the first time about a year ago and have one round of professional edits in it. I decided it needed to be 'perfect', and that has become a daunting task. Almost there!
It sounds like him waking up is the moment the mystery is revealed (to exist), so it's a relevant story moment
The video's point is more about not needing to show a detective getting up, getting ready, greeting the wife and kids and hopping in his car before arriving at the murder scene he's gonna solve. Just start at the murder scene
I think an alternative to the alarm start would be if the scene opened with the character rifling through 'something' in that effort to find her. It's more active, and gives personality. Something like that.
With the alarm, the character is still just... there. You still need to get him out of the bed and doing something, so why not just start him doing that thing?
My latest, and frankly first serious story has two brothers as the main characters. Elja and Wolfgang. Got different vowels, really different sounds of all the letters, no repeating letters, no alliteration.
I think I've got two good names 🤣 Their father is technically named in the story, Rudolf, but I think he works.
They're all two syllables, but I think they look quite distinctive and they don't sound similar when speaking them.
Concerning the last point about present tense, I read a scifi short story anthology years ago that had editorial addendums for each story. Only one story was in present tense, and the editor lauded it as an "illuminating choice" by the author or something. Admittedly, the editor was the one who chose to include the story, so there's that bit of selection bias.
Reading Sauron and Sarumon in LoTR always drove me nuts. I always got them confused as a kid. Also in David Weber's honor Harrington series he will have 3 characters in a scene, or close chapters, all with T or H last names. Very confusing
Extremely helpful video, thank you so much!!
WHEE new Bookfox content? I'm disappointed I was even 10 minutes late
The present tense one hurts a little, mostly because I know how everyone else feels about it... but my horror story feels better in present tense because you can't escape it. This didn't happen, it's happening. The clock didn't tick, it's ticking. Also, screenplays are written in present tense and I think I picture this playing out on the big screen. Having said that, it will probably change into a boring old past tense story just like every other boring, old, past tense story.
The resistance to present tense might be related to your comment about screenplays. It seems that a lot of present tense writers are writing a tv show in their head, but in prose format, which doesn't fit, and becomes difficult to read for many.
omg yes!!! i'm also writing a horror novel now and it just feels better with present tense. i totally get what you mean 🫱🏻🫲🏼🫱🏻🫲🏼🫱🏻🫲🏼🫱🏻🫲🏼🫱🏻🫲🏼🫱🏻🫲🏼
Thank you! Very helpful tips. Instructions unclear though, as I want to write a nonfiction book.
I jest, I jest.
An outstanding video. Great tips! Well done. :)
Thank you! This was a very encouraging video for my writing journey. After 6 years on my first fantasy novel (5 in revision, just about done), I'm nailing most of these.
One I'd love feedback on (from anyone!) is 7:44: I want to to show character grown of the MC by mirroring something from my 1st chapter to my last chapter. I do this by bringing up how he views his best friend in chapter 1 (very short paragraph), but then we don't meet the friend until the very end of the book... Should I name him? Drop that part entirely from chapter 1? Somehow call him "his best friend?" Might not be easy, but when is writing easy =) ------ I also struggle with this from a realism standpoint: My MC mentions his supervisor at work, but he wouldn't think of him as his "supervisor." He would name him, so I think I need a couple of throwaway names. Will just try to keep them to a minimum methinks.
I am doing a present tense in my latest novel but only because I have always written in past and wanted to challenge myself.
I know it might put some people "off" but I think it works for this first book in the series. I will probably play with tenses in the sequels. So the first book is in present, then the next would be past tense working up to the ending of the second book, where we'll catch up with the character again and do present tense in the third book again.
It's an experiment - might work or might not, only time will tell.
That sounds like you have a strong, defensible reason for why you're using present tense. That's really what I'm pushing for -- for people to question their use of it, and make sure they know why they're choosing it.
@@Bookfox Ya thanks for the video, seems like the only major issue for me was the present tense element, but the rest of the issues are top notch.
Thanks again!
I only allow my characters to sleep between chapters, because of the dream sequence. I love doing dream sequences, because it shows the past of a character or the fears of that character. I can even dop little hits to the next setting or foreshadow. Especially when it comes to mythological sub text.
When you refer to the italics, the same would apply if it were in quotation marks, correct?
I loved all these points! Regarding Repetitive Sentence Structures, I loved The Art of Syntax by Ellen Bryant Voigt, where she talks about this in prose and poetry. Keep the videos coming!
That's a fantastic book!
most of my scene start with my MC waking up 💀
on the other hand, I literally narrate every other moment she's awake xD
As you know Bob dialog = Exposition ? 1. Use an object. 2. Have a little sparing, joking, or doing something. A good example of this I've noticed. I Love Lucy/Lavern and Shirley where they're holding a conversation while working on the factory line or doing house work, sipping coffee in the diner. Help the reader feel immersed and casual rather than itemized and robotic. Thank You for the education. Awesome video.
👍💥
Yes, As You Know Bob dialogue is the same thing as Expositional Dialogue.
Glad you liked the video!
thus the difference between novel writing and cinema screenwriting; with the novel the reader can reread lines
I always find myself slipping into present tense no matter what. Even if I start the first few sentences in past tense, I will slip into present without thinking about it, and then I'm like, screw it, this is what I'm going with. My thinking is, unless the story is being told retroactively by an older narrator looking back, unless it has that frame, there's no reason not to tell it presently, if it's something currently happening. Or it can be used in a subversive way - one of my favorite novels is A Maggot, by John Fowles, and I just realized that though it's set in the past and from the opening sentence we are told as such, the majority is written in present tense ('In the late and last afternoon of an April long ago, a forlorn little group of travellers cross a remote upland in the far south-west of England'). There's a few times where the narration smoothly dips into past tense before switching back to present seemingly at random. I don't think I've ever seen anything else done like that.
There are big reasons why past tense is used. This perception that present tense makes the reader feel 'in the moment' is strange and baseless.
@Novarcharesk not really. Whatever tense you prefer, I don't care. Why are you trying to make a thing of it? I just explained my reasoning, but really it's simply because I by default go to it, and think I happen to write slightly better in the present tense.
@@nl3064 Didn't 'make a thing' about it. I'm pointing out that the perception that present tense has an inherent advantage on immersion to past tense is baseless, and frankly, myopic.
@Novarcharesk I said nothing about "immersion". Not a word. You're literally inventing things I did not say.
@ I’m reading between the lines, honey 😂 Why else would you be mentioning past tense only making sense if it was being told retroactively by a character?
I don’t care what you write in, but I’m quickly seeing that the present tense fans have strangely defensive responses. I guess that makes sense given younger writers prefer it, so they’re gonna get their back up more easily.
I’m writing my first novel and want to know if it’s absolutely necessary to describe my characters in detail? Do I have to describe them at all? Such as physical appearance
I thought I'd created original character names, but two are named Willet and Hatchet. Although for world-building, you can indicate culture with similar names. To bring up McCaffrey again, all the dragons have -eth names, and apostrophed names indicated a (male) human bonded to a (living) dragon. It was a handy shortcut, but it brings up another name issue - clarity in pronunciation. Twenty years later, and I'm still not sure how to pronounce F'lar.
I hadn't considered how italicized thoughts are affected by omniscient POV - good point! I still use italics in limited third, but sparingly. Mostly as nonverbal dialogue - when the character is thinking about a thing they could say to a person, but don't say it. Or remembering a direct quote from someone else.
I've noticed the present tense thing, too - do you have theories on why beginner writers prefer it? The most common reason I hear from writers is that it feels more immersive. Maybe as you acquire more tools in your toolkit, you find other ways of creating immersion, and switch to past for its greater flexibility.
Unrelated to writing, but where is the human puppet scene from 10:35 from? Because I need to watch that.
Point still applies but Christie is 8 letters 1:51
I had two characters in a story called Tiu and Tao..... and in the same faction no less! Eventually Tao became Hao when I realized it was going to cause confusion issues.
Absolutely agree with #12. In the bookshop, I always flip through the first few pages. If present tense, no matter the subject, no matter the hook in the blurb, back it goes on the shelf.
Reading a novel is suspension of disbelief. We know this story never happened, but we want to trick ourselves into thinking it really did. Otherwise, who cares who lives or dies? With a past tense book, I can imagine that someone, even an omniscient author, wrote something that happened. But I cannot magine that words printed (or KDP'd) months or years ago are happening now. That's impossible. I want to reserve all my SofD capabilities for investing in the story, not for overcoming an ongoing, always present, reminder that this is just a contrived story.
Having said that, there is a short section in my own soon to appear novel where exactly this happens. But that section is written by an AI fast enough to document events in real time. What makes sense? That is what every author should ask.
5:42 * em dash
You should do one of these for endings. I understand that you make a promise at the start and then make good, or better, on it at the end. But I'm sure you can think up stuff we should know about endings and epilogues and HOW TO END please lol Ends feel awkward to me, the equivalent of saying goodbye. feels weird.
Regarding point n°2 : I always found odd that in the Wheel of Time, you have two characters named "Mat" and "Tam"
Funny I never got them mixed up. never even noticed the similarity.
I think that would get on my nerves lol.
something that bugs me is people going through a very specific list of every single thing the characters are wearing unless it's somehow relevant to the plot. "she wore a gray shirt with black pants and gray socks with white shoes"
What about characterization? Mentioning the socks might be a bit too much, but gray shirt and black pants says something about the character completely different from "she wore argyle socks, black clogs, a black skirt, and a crisp oxford cotton shirt."
Rather than straight out describing what a character wears you should use lines like 'she put her hands in the pockets of her black jeans'
What about earrings? Was she wearing earrings? I can't picture her unless I know! ;-)
@@Chealder womens jeans usually don't even have pockets, but otherwise I think you're onto something lol
@@Chealder I also don't think clothing needs to be that active. She doesn't need to wipe her nose with the oxford shirt to know what she's wearing.
Ian McEwan’s Saturday is in the present tense and I think it works there. He wants the reader to be as present as possible after all, since the whole story is one day. But I agree it’s not always ideal.
Sure, there are plenty of books where it works well. I've read Saturday and I agree that McEwan justified it since it was all happening on a single day.
Oh boy. I just finished my novel today after 13 months, and it’s in present tense 😂
present tense is diabolical
In my sci-fi stories, my names can be very alien with a string of numbers and letters or some clearly not english upper and lower case. The two things I go to now are using titles such as Chief of Security or 1st Navigator. But I do limit the really strange names to one per story. On another topic, I've gone to brackets for psi and pointy brackets for non-verbal such as text or gesture. This method means no "he said psionically" or the secret message was only seen by the Communications Officer (CO).
I am thinking, what should part of chapter should be, does the character in the story will be facing now the main conflict, the challenge, the reason as to why the story was made after all?
I would like to see what a boring "goes to sleep" scene looks like in a book. I think the only times I had a chapter end with the character falling asleep was one when the next chapter opened with their *very* strange dream (and then waking up all disoriented), and another when the character was having emotional turmoil and cried themselves to sleep (waking up the next morning with puffy eyes and still feeling like crap). I feel like I used it very purposefully, so I'm curious to see what a "eh, they fell asleep" version looks like 🤔
So agents and editors will have trouble spotting who's an amateur and who isn't because they get confused by their present tense usage?
In regards to your point with the names... It just reminded me of Handbook For Mortals. All the characters have single syllable names, but they've stuck in my head ever since then: Mac, Tad, Cam, Zade... 😂 (never read the book but saw tonnes of videos about it)
It still drives me crazy that Tolkien chose Saruman & Sauron for 2 of the main characters in LOTR. 🤨
And then there’s the Silmarillion, with characters like Finarfin and Fingolfin and Fingon and Finrod.
Wait who was the main villain? I'm confused, genuinely
Ha ha. I mean, We know Sa names sound evil for a reason (Hello, Satan), but to also have them share the U and end in N ... was a bit much.
Still, I love Tolkien.
For using past tense , it really really complicated when time manipulation comes in .
When a character comes in present , from future ,its future of mc but from the time traveler's perspective its his (time traveller's) past .
I learn a lot from you. Thank you! What about the use of single quotation marks for an internal thought?
Usually it's not needed.
So do you mean the "Oh Hi Mark" from the Tommy Wiseau file the Room is bad writing?
😂😂😂
Can someone elaborate on what corners of what genres italicizing character thoughts has persisted? Because I write romance, and even though I write in the first person I've been switching to italics once or twice a chapter to emphasize the direct thoughts of the narrator. Is this amateurish? Should I stop?
@@BidwellRunner No.
12:37 This was something that took me out of Entergalactic by Kid Cudi. The main characters are artists who live in New York City and spend most of their time partying, and they're just completely financially comfortable as nobody artists. It's silly.
Reminds me of Friends too :P
I wish that I would have heard your tip on names earlier, I am staring on the second book in my series and it is too late to change the names now, in my 1st book my bad guys were twins Victor and Valen, and my heros that are born in book 1 are also brothers Arthur and Andreaus, so in book 2 they are my main characters. I am a such a amature with names.😕
Having characters with similar names on purpose is fine. In this case its the parents fault. Realistic even, all six of my siblings have J names. Its fairly common.
A trick you can use to circumvent this is nicknames. I have a duo of characters whose names are Nick and Mick, but in his introduction, Mick tells everyone else to call him by his last name to avoid the confusion. So if you have characters like twins who were given similar names, you could do something like this where one shortens their name (Victor to Vi) or goes by a nickname.
@@marjiescott2302 *amateur
Nice tip about italics. It never would have ocurred to me.
It's also not quite true in my experience, and evidently the experience of many other commenters. That one seems a bit contentious.
@@Gawainer Not a good tip at all. It can apply to some styles, such as first person perspective, but not for most forms of third person perspective, even close third person. Free indirect discourse is a weird third person style where not italicizing thoughts would mostly apply, but even then I'd argue that some thoughts being in italics still makes sense if it's acting similarly to dialogue (technically monologue) and adds some flavor to the scene.
i'll admit that i use the "begin/end a scene with waking up/going to sleep" thing fairly often, but as yet it's only in one particular story and the main reason for it is because of... _ahem..._ reasons that i can't really discuss in polite company but, uh, there's _very good reasons_ that the characters were in bed ;) :P at present, i don't think alot of my other projects will be using that as frequently since the content of them is going to be very different.
Sentence structure repetition is the bane of my existence. I simply CANNOT stop using "but" sentence - he wasn't the smartest but he still solved the riddle. I try my best to use them less but they keep popping up
We all have our little pet structures/techniques like that. Tough to find a way out of writing ruts.
I'm a beginner so I'll continue screwing up and learning one bit at a time... I imagine that if I'd try to fix everyone problem at once it's just become a mess.
Just imagining you reading One Hundred Years of Solitude after making point #2
I've read it, and I enjoyed it, though yes, it was extremely difficult to keep track of the hundreds of characters. I know several people who gave up on that book and still hate it to this day for the sheer number of characters he threw at the reader.
So do it if you want to, just recognize the downsides.
@@Bookfox I'm just cracking a joke about how one of the most revered novels of all time does it. (It took me three attempts to actually read it, but it's worth the effort. Most people's books aren't gonna be worth that effort no matter what they do with character names lol.)