I’m 28 and Still Support My Mom and Sibling
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 16 มิ.ย. 2024
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Ahhh the good ol Son-Husband role! You get the responsibilities of a husband, but the say-so of a son, what a wonderful position!
😂😂
I fucking hate divorces for this exact reason
Yeah lol
Emotional spouse. Yuck 🤢
Why did he even phone in? He doesn't want any advice. He wants to stay married to his mother, and throw all his money away.
This is hard thing to walk way from and change from
It's how poor people survived....everyone pitching in a little and the one with the most money gets "the honor" of supporting his family.
@@veronicaibarra8267yes. And that generally works better than depending on pensions
Poor Jacob, mom has twisted his head so much that he feels an obligation to live with her and support her.
Many men have had mom's that tried to pull this type of thing and were strong and smart enough to not allow it.
Wrong. He cares for his mom. I'm sure she took care of the family and was probably not allowed to work from hubby. It happens. Proud of this young man. Mom probably supported him during college.
@@terizeger7955 wrong… 😂
Did you miss the part where his mom worked for his dad, despite being divorced?
She’s using her son as a crutch. Perfectly capable of supporting herself.
@@terizeger7955 👍🏽👍🏽
Son-husband ya hate to see it
That’s a dysfunctional house there . Co dependency is ruling and it sounds toxic! He’s young and kind but his toxic family is looking out for themselves and not his future.
yup they sure are only looking out for themselves! i was the daughter-husband and no one appreciated my contributions , they all became entitled to my help!
Man! I REALLLLY hit the MEGA jackpot, with a mom who is *fiercely* independent!! Anything I do is purely optional and always my own idea to offer what I can spare. And I can tell her my financial wins, without her turning around and using it against me, and expecting anything. She's a mother who *genuinely* gets happy when her kids win financially?!? She does NOT demand or expect any money or other support. Never has! It's so easy to take this for granted, until you hear stories like this caller's.
My mom is an absolute high maintenence princess, who feels beyond entitled to her son's money.
yup you sure did cuz my mom did this exact same thing to me
My mom was like this when I was younger but it was my child support money from my dad. So he helped me move out in secret when I was 19 and then redirected a portion of the child support money to me to help cover rent until I got on my feet. She tried to give me the waterworks to guilt me into coming back but I wasn’t buying it. 15+ years later and I learned a lot from her mistakes and my husband and I are very careful with money
Money going backwards not forward. Lots of families have been dealing with this for decades. I call it a generational curse.
Same
Generational poverty.
He can simply leave instead of acting like a doormat and a spineless wimp. My male cat Taffy has more balls than this guy.
@@otrebla8944 Facts
Clearly, dad left her penniless. When I see men tell their wives not to work, they better be willing to pay when they leave. Because the son sees his mom got a raw deal from a dad who isn’t paying alimony and left her with no skill set. Dave would have asked better question. George and Jade weren’t reading between the lines. The devotion the son has…dad left her for someone else.
This was what I was hearing too. And now the advice is to screw this woman over yet again. It's so sad that the pursuit of wealth means discarding the mother who has given up everything to immigrate to a new country (I'm pretty sure that's what I heard), leaving her support systems behind, staying at home to support her partner's career and raise these kids, only for all of them to discard her when she's no longer of use. It's sad.
Exactly, I just commented this. They’re making her seem in the wrong when she probably was a stay at home mom like they both probably agreed to and now she’s trying work to pay the bills she was left with
@@pamelastoesz733She needs to change her lifestyle to something she can afford. What would she do if her kids were out of the house? She’d have to adjust. It’s not fair to keep your kids from becoming independent.
@@BlueDauntless The point is that she was married. She didn't expect her husband to leave her high and dry. The numbers the son is giving do not indicate a lavish lifestyle at all.
her "loose retirment plan" is to have her son pay the bills.
AKA Son-Husband
@@FlutterSwagSonsband?
Aka African American female retirement plan.
You folks do realize its the norm around the world to take care of ones parents ryt?
@@TheMrgoodmanners that is only normal in 3rd world countries where saving is impossible. No place that has wealth does that. That is part of that they stay poor. Children sacrificing for parents instead of parents sacrificing for children. Terrible cultures.
I have 3 boys. I would be a utter failure of a father if i had to have my sons support me. If you disagree then you have made poor decisions in life if you are expecting, planning, or having your kids support you financially.
this is why its ok to not pay for some or all of their college. Parents end up not investing because they are guilted by society. I promise anybodys kids will be less mad about having to work and maybe pay of a few thousand bucks of student loans than have you move in to their house and live there for your last 20 years
The down side of trad life. Once the kids are grown and you havent had income yourself it's hard to start at 59....
My mom was very tradicional. Also a nurse who worked in a private hospital. Her pension let her live in a beautiful retirement community
His Mom should be getting spousal support. Whats the deal w/ the Dad putting this burden on his son
That was my question. Want the full story.
Son is allowing it, mom guilt trips him. He needs to go
True definition of a mommas boy and son husband
Sell the property, she walks away with $500,000. She can take that money and move out of state. There are lovely houses in my area (Missouri) that are in the $125,000-$200,000 range. She’d have a paid off home, money in the bank and could get a part time job for bills and groceries. She doesn’t have young children to take care of, her expenses would be low. He could even send her $500 a month if he still wants to help, no where near what he’s spending now.
And then get it blown out by a tornado in a freak storm. And she is not getting $500k. She should get ONLY the portion she paid in.
Lovey houses in the 125-200k range?? I’ve never wanted to move to Missouri, but you make me consider it lol
@@charisginn6932 I'm on the outskirts of Houston and you can get a starter home for $200K
They did great on calling it out but Dave needed to be on this call. This guy is completely lost and doesn’t see he’s a son husband.
A Sonsband?
@@HOLDXSTEEL that’s exactly right.
But HOW does he not see it? He definitely sees it, he’s an analyst. He can crunch the numbers.
He’s either very weak-minded or he gets something out of the deal. He is allowing it for some reason.
@@HOLDXSTEELa husbon. Lol.
@@GoJojo-lv6zi we don’t have perspective when we are in the situation.
80k in LA is getting by, add in two dependents and it's not great.
80K in LA is not just getting by. You can live with roommates ($1.2K), not have a car note, and cook at home. With those three choices alone, your monthly living expenses are MAYBE $3K total. Monthly: $1.2K rent, $500 phone/utilities, $300 car maintenance/fuel, $200 food, $800 for toiletries, hygiene, misc, etc.
With a NET income of around $4.7K+ the caller would not be just getting by. He would have almost $2K of additional income for debt, savings, & retirement.
As for 2 dependents, that is a CHOICE he is making for himself.
My parents did the same thing to me. I've been trapped for 40 years. I'm approaching 60 and struggling to save for retirement while floating my mother.
And Mom doesn't care about your future, just hers, right?
Damn Man. This reminded me of being a kid and seeing Adults still around their parents and miserable. As a little kid I didn’t understand it but in my 20s I definitely do. Some people are not cut out to be parents, they’re just narcissistic and parasitic sadly.
Walk out. You are not chained to a wall.
Why is a million dollar rental property only making her $1000/month (for her half)? I agree that they should sell it so that she no longer owns it with her ex. But, it should be making her several thousand a month, which would completely solve the problem.
Horrible investment lol 500k into a bond making 5 percent is 2k a month
Just because that’s what it would bring if it was sold doesn’t mean it’s that nice of a place to charge exorbitant rent.
probably taxes and insurance and rent is too low. 500K in investments she should pull 20K a year on average....
If he’s paying the mortgage
His name needs to be on the deed
He needs to figure his life out. Why is he allowing all this to happen in the first place?
Agreed
Ive been in this situation and its hard because you love your mother and you don’t want to see her struggle. You also know that(in my case) my mom can’t work to her full potential because of health reasons and she doesn’t have any other help. So I definitely empathize with him and what he’s going through
Where's your mom's husband?
You need to have your name on the lease or deed to the house. You also need your own space in the house.
Where’s your father? If he has passed, she should be getting his SS.
There is literally no exit ramp for this guy right now. He is his mother's retirement plan. 🤦♂️
Yes he should say mom I rented an apartment I’m moving in a month and you will be on your own financially.
No exit ramp? Are you kidding? He's almost 30 and makes 80K/year. He could pack his things and leave tomorrow morning if he wanted to -- and be renting his own place by the end of the week. Literally no one in the world can stop him physically or financially from leaving.
He is weak-minded. I have little/no respect for men like this.
@@GoJojo-lv6zibingo! He allows this to happen.
The guy needs to grow a set of balls and leave the mother and the sister. He should get a girlfriend and get married and leave the Mom and sister to their own devices. By his tone of voice and wimpy attitude, I can see why he's not attractive to girls who want a real man.
@@GoJojo-lv6ziobviously they mean no exit plan without burning relationship bridges
He said it was an amicable divorce, but why was there no mention of alimony if the mother never worked and the father owns a business?
Unlike in Western countries, traditional Asian cultures place a heavy emphasis on filial piety -- the expectation that children will support their parents in old age.
Yea, I think there is a cultural aspect that is not being considered....
Yeah well that old culture thing is Wrong just because it's been a tradition doesn't make it right
In some cultures Child brides still exist ...it's that right...F no!
No they don’t. The poorest countries have no choice. Within 1 generation in the USA those parents have multiple homes to give to kids and retirements.
The person on this call doesn't live in a traditional Asian society or economy. New environment with new parameters = new rules & expectations
also being first gen and sending money back home is so draining next to that cultural aspect >_
I want to say thank you to the guy in the comments who recommended Eledator to me. You've been very helpful. Thank you!
Lotta moms try to use thier sons as stand-in husbands to support them after they get divorced. Thats exactly whats happening here
Why was he even still living there at 28? The divorce sounds recent.
In most cultures the parents have kids as their retirement plan. So it’s a cycle of poverty. Only way to escape is to make enough to support 2 households or start your own and move away.
He called an American personal finance show so he got our answer.
The mom is determined to stay in LA.
But why does her son allow his mom’s desires to dictate his lifestyle? Why is he allowing this?
They should all move.
I'm 47yrs old. $73,000 biweekly and I'm retired, this video have inspired me greatly in many ways that I remember my past of how I struggled with many things in life to be where I am today!!!!❤️
Oh, really? Tell us more! I'm always interested in hearing success stories.
It's Renee Marie Harrison doing she's changed my life. A BROKER- like her is what you need.
It seems like Renee doesn't just see trading as a way to make money for herself. She's been actively teaching others her strategies and helping them achieve financial independence too.
I do know Renee M. Harrison, I also have even become successful....
Absolutely! I've heard stories of people who started with little to no knowledge but made it out victoriously thanks to Renee Marie Harrison.
I relate my financial situation to this guys sooo much it's crazy
This shows how different each culture is. In my culture, Divorce or whatnot, parents will be cared for by kids once they grow old, no questions asked. I grew up with my great grandparents, grandparents, aunts and uncles in a small house. Everyone contributes. I am not saying this is ideal and some may perceived it as dysfunctional, but we are happy. When one gets sick, we know there is someone we can turn too and we are never alone. The downside, we are not millionaires, but may granparents, bless them, died content and happy and I hope when my time comes, I would be able to rest as peacefully as them, surrounded by people that mattered who does not think only of themselves.
What he needs to do is realize that he’s paying $3k a month to rent a room. That’s just idiotic.
Also 59 is not “up in age”. I thought he was going to say 72.
Her health is not so good was the point.
@@JustinCase780sounds like Hispanic family, Hispanics are prone to diabetes and high blood pressure
Sounds like she can work. Even if she can't the plan that he lives with her and supports her for the rest of his life is absolutely ass backwards
I’m 52 and I pay my own bills. If she has health issues they are from poor choices. I have health issues not of my choosing (MS) and I pay my own way. My son lives with me for free while he works and attends school.
@@ajuister She is working and looking for more work.
WTF was his mother doing with her money for 30 years???? She never saved? No retirement plans? Mutual fund? NADA???? THAT'S FKN IRRESPONSIBLE AS HELL.
she should have got half the value of the business her ex has too plus the family home.
The son indicated she was working for her husband’s business. She might not have even received an actual salary.
Sounds like she was a trad wife who was screwed over by her husband. It happens all the time.
This is a story of a large subset of people in this country and it’s nice to hear. Many of my guy friends had to pay off their parents homes or bills throughout their 20s to keep them afloat
Why doesn't his mom look for a live in elderly care position. That would solve their issues.
Why doesn’t he move out? That would solve his issues immediately. His mom would have to figure it out. He’s enabling her.
@@GoJojo-lv6zi Yes, of course, but It seems doubtful that he would do that, until she is more independent. Cultural differences?🤷🏻♀️
@@heatherj3030 It's doubtful because he refuses to do it. If it's cultural idk why he called into an American personal finance show expecting anything other than the response he got. I'm American, so I'm with Jade & George. I'm first-generation like George too, I'm not sacrificing my whole future to enable one of my parents.
@@heatherj3030 if they are so much of the culture go home it is very cheap.
@@GoJojo-lv6zi Nor should you. I have 18 and 25 year old sons. I definitely wouldn't want to do that to mine. We are debt free and have our retirement secured, so we aren't a burden to them. I wasn't try to excuse the guys behavior, but I don't see him following their advice. Good for you, have so much sense. I hope you have a great life.
Poor guy. This is a classic example of parentification.
His mother is using him as a replacement husband.
The dad is. The dad is the one who pulled away from the family, leaving a void. The son was already living with his parents and working a real career.
Very real thing divorced women do
@@CM-sy3to woman are 80% of divorces. Ask yourself why you say that then blame you mom.
@@joesmith3590 Women are 50% of the divorces.Theres two people in a marriage. So 50%
@@ok.ok.5735 female math to avoid responsibility. It is like you guys want to be a joke.
Only making $2,000 a month on a million dollar investment in LA? That makes no sense.
I live near Silicon Valley. My mom gets mad financial assistance from me(little from sibs)but I throw it down like a bawss and never whine about it.
Shame on the mom for saddling her son with supporting her and crippling him for his future.
Shame on you for placing the blame for a grown man's actions on his mother. He is almost 30. He makes 80K/year. No one is forcing him to do anything. He is just a weak-minded enabler.
I think he should leave now, instead of waiting for his mommy to give him permission, and watch how quickly his mother and the rest of his family pick up the pieces, pull their weight, or otherwise stand on their own feet.
He's not a child. There's no one to shame but yourself once you reach a certain age. At 28 the bank, courts, and anyone else have been holding you responsible for your own choices for at least 10 years already.
@@GoJojo-lv6zi Ultimately, the buck stops with the guy because he is responsible for his actions. But shame on the mom for not contributing more and if she guilt trips him. He is a weak man and needs to break free from her and live his own life. And shame on you for blaming me prematurely. And for your own info, making $80k in L.A. is like making $40k anywhere else, so she should be contributing more to her living costs, and the sister should contribute more as well.
@@Jim_Curtis You made sense and then you went back into your feelings again. The buck stops with him. End of story. He needs to take action and stop worrying about guilt trips. When my parents try to guilt trip me I tell them "Sorry, not going to happen." It's that simple.
You can shame whoever you want all you want, that doesn't change anything. And it's weird.
Honey, I know LA very well. 80K in LA is not "40K anywhere else" -- whatever that is actually supposed to mean.
I'll break it down for you: the caller can live with roommates, not have a car note, and cook at home. With those three choices alone, his monthly living expenses are MAYBE $3K total. Monthly: $1.2K rent, $500 phone/utilities, $300 car maintenance/fuel, $200 food, $800 for toiletries, hygiene, misc, etc.
With a NET income of around $4.7K+ the caller would not be just getting by. He would have almost $2K of additional income for debt, savings, & retirement.
@@GoJojo-lv6zi You don't know L.A. very well because housing is double there vs the national averages, as well things like gas prices. It has gone up dramatically over the past couple of years.
@@Jim_Curtis I literally live here (in LA). I am currently writing this comment from inside of the studio apartment that I rent in LA. I've been renting this apartment for 3 years. I lived with roommates for another 3. And sub-leased all over the city before that. I drive to work here. I pay for gas here. I pay for insurance, food, utilities, and literally everything else here. I work here. And I've never made 80K/year.
I know LA very well. You don't know what you're talking about.
A $1 million house is getting $2k a month is profit?!? That has to be wrong... Cash pays better than that.
in*
That's exactly what I said. Traditionally with the 1% rule, a million dollar rental should bring in 10K a month. Most rentals hasn't kept up with that as real estate prices skyrocketed. But, it should be way more than 2,000.
@@bradycone $3900 was the price of a new house in 1938 a d $27 was the rent (probably for an apartment).
$1M/$3900 would be at least 256.41x.
So one would expect rent to be no less than $6923.07.
My parents got divorced. I never helped either of them financially. Pretty sure my mom is going to eventually lose the house, because she can’t afford it and she’s too prideful to look at alternatives. She’s a case study in “but I shouldn’t have to do that!” When everyone around her is telling her to.
Another son husband.
Why is he allowing this? He seems smart and capable, yet very weak-minded.
@GoJojo-lv6zi Single mothers do this to their sons on the regular. Kevin Samuel's called them son-husbands, or sonsbands. Not all, not even most, but enough to see a pattern.
@@tjbalistic Again, why is the son ALLOWING it? It doesn't sound like his mother has stolen his identity and takes money out of his account. He is a willing participant. Why?
And, it sounds like he was raised in a 2-parent household until recently. His parents just got divorced. So he wasn't raised by a single mother.
@GoJojo-lv6zi A misplaced sense of guilt? The mother should be encouraging him to fledge, not stay.
@@tjbalistic He is almost 30 years old. He should leave instead of waiting to be encouraged to. The fact is, HE called into the show. If HE wants to know what HE should do, HE should leave or make a time-bound plan to do so.
He's not a little boy that has to wait for permission from his mommy. At his age, he is 100% responsible for his actions and/or inaction. I have little respect for men like this.
Dude, your mom's a grown up, your a grown up. Be grown ups. Let her take responsibility of her life. You live yours.
he cant even see whats wrong with the picture... id bet $1000 that this lady is manipulative with the guilt tripping of "i raised you so now you have to take care of me"
In South Africa, it's called "black tax". Luckily for Jacob, he doesn't have any debt. Very hard to escape.
It IS FAIR FOR HER TO FIND A JOB! She’s using you
I hate it when they have to slowly and painfully extract information out of a caller instead of getting all the details up front.
"She's planning on...."
5:51 him(he is the retirement plan). George I bet my left 🥜 he is Mexican 😂😂😂.
Same issue here! I had to learn to say no, and once I communicated that to my mom, she blew up in my face and said I didn’t love her. 😂
But you aren't paying her bills anymore are you? It's called opportunity cost. Simple concept.
Yeah you can tell it's a Mexican mom. She should have picked a better man to marry.
Scarface - I agree 100%, paisa mom 😆
Dude needs to say NO to "ama" and live his life.
They raise us to grow, be independent and make our own life, not to circle back and support them when they didn't do anything with theirs.
Que no mame. Déjalo ser y vivir su vida señora 😒
And yeah, a parent(s) pulling the guilt trip...typical manipulation tactic 🚫
What a loser of a father and a husband to allow his family to have to deal with this
I love how we just act as if the mother isn't a toxic selfish individual that ran off the husband due to her control issues and now is being very manipulative with her children. Ignore all the facts, blame the husband. This is CA, the land of lifetime alimony, you can't legally abandon your family.
lol. Only loser is your dad to not have you think it is the mom.
Imagine blaming the dad. We know who had a bad one now lol.
You’re gonna get whiplash reaching like that. All you did was just bleed out all over us showing us your wounds. Even we don’t know the relationship between the mother and father because the caller didn’t tell us, so where did you get all those assumptions from? Answer: out of YOUR a** (personal experience or otherwise). Because you didn’t get it from the caller lol
No, we have no idea why they divorced, but the mom agreed to it. She is going to get half of the rental property and whatever else if she is wise enough to seek them instead of taking $1K/month.
When people divorce, they are no longer responsible for one another. I doubt the dad told his son, “it’s your job to care for her now.” The son is the ENABLER. He is the one that is making excuses for his mother not working enough and living in LA. There’s something wrong with the whole family because the mom is still working for her ex-husband’s business too. Everyone is very co-dependent.
It’s there mess to clean-up but the mom and son don’t appear to be victims here. They’re just allowing themselves to live in dysfunction.
Mom should have asked for spousal support (and child support if applicable) instead of using her son as a replacement husband.
The son should have just went out on his own and told his mom "No, I can't help you." The best I can do is help you figure YOUR life out, not live with you and pay your bills. Simple.
Would you want to pay spousal support? Think before you write!
Child support is fine.
what a big mama's boy
How about she gets remarried, instead of being married to her son.
Soooooooo many parents give the I made you and you owe me thing...its mental abuse, even if shes a great women if she loved her son she would figure it out and let him live his life to the fullest...Thats what a selfless loving parent does...a common not the best parent thinks no we all need to contribute for the family...
The math ain’t mathing Jacob your mom is running game on you my boy.
I would calculate the things that will cost me moving out, rent food, car, insurance. If that is less than what he is paying at moms house i think im moving out. Your siblings arent your responsibility it just shows you are a good brother and love them. You can still give them money but that is when your budget allows you too
Everybody needs to watch Glen Beck's interview with Ashton Forbes regarding Malaysia Airlines flight 370.
I have a different view of this, a 28 years old willing to step up and take care of his aging mother gives me hope for the future. That's how it used to be. Aged parents were cared for by their children, and they provided other services such as help with child care and learning. We need to get back to more of that in this country.
The mom has half a million dollars in assets. She has the means to take care of herself. In this situation it seems she is improperly holding her son back from potential dating and finding a wife while having him supplement her lifestyle.
@@napoleon1992 that's her son's estimate but children generally overvalue their parents wealth. Until it's sold though it's not really there for her to use.
She still can't afford LA
She is 50. She can contribute a lot more than $1500a month to her own support. If she cannot work, she should file for disability.
@@sgc1401 I'm pretty sure he said she was in her 60s.
Disability is a lot harder to get than you think. Even if she filed today it would take probably upwards of 2 years to actually get it due to the backlog. Though if she is unable to work due to physical or mental disability I would suggest they do that, at least get the ball rolling.
Still they probably can't afford LA and need to look for something cheaper outside the city.
Mamas boy. These men got to learn to say no and stand on their own. Family or not
She probably guilts him. She’s a pos
am literally in the same exact shituation!
Jacob the son husband 😂
He proudly takes on that role too. It’s creepy. He doesn’t care.
Can we normalize family members takings care of each other? Not all families live a cookie cutter life
@@grod805 Not in America, no. If it's normal elsewhere, go elsewhere.
What does "normalizing" things do for anyone apart from the one who wants something "normalized?" Why should everyone else abandon their values and traditions and belief systems so your abnormal behavior "feels normal" to you, even when it isn't normal -- you just begged others to make it feel that way FOR YOU.
So, the answer is NO.
I didnt grow up rich and my dad always told me when i get married to never live with them or my wifes parents. Im happy my parents made smart choices so me and my siblings dont need to financially support them.
Too many people refuse to move away from high cost of living areas they were born into..
There is no exit strategy for this guy. Who wants to bet the parents both want keep the rental?
Son husband. Typical for single moms sadly.
I mean she clearly wasn’t a single mom. Seems like they divorced when the children were fully grown and should’ve been out the house. It’s a cultural issue.
@@leabeauty837 he is laying for her and her kid ma’am. lol western woman.
@@leabeauty837the fatherless culture yes.
@@joesmith3590 That makes no sense, try again in English please.
@@leabeauty837 single mom on child support with hair and makeup business. Walking kevin Samuel’s call lol.
I lived in Los Angeles for 5 years, $80k a year is ok for 1 person, but for 2 people, kind of hard
I’m 26 and I’m paying mortgage. Living at home with my mom supporting her too.
Why is their $1 million rental property only bringing in $2000 per month?
My guess is the had the house for years as well as the tenants….bottom line they need to sale the house or mom needs to move into the paid off property.
Coming from an immigrant family it’s very common for families/parents to do the multi-generational household situations. It’s very common outside the US
I feel he’s not making enough right now and the mother was expecting her marriage to last forever.
Get a multi family and have her pay half and you can live independently
Yes they’re giving the advice from a United States culture perspective. Around the world the culture varies
They aren't even answering his question on how he can make more.
It really is. Its happening to me right now and I just turned 22.
Crazy I’m also in the same situation and I’m also 22
Well, he called into an AMERICAN personal finance show. If he wanted advice about how to do things in other cultures he should have called someone from another culture.
And he doesn’t need to call The Ramsey Show to figure out how to make more money. There are countless resources online for that. The Ramsey Show tells people how to spend and save it.
He's been raised to be his mother's carer, so sad.
Hells bells, kick the tenants out of the rental property, move Mom into that, and get on with your life, friend. The longer you stay, the harder it will be to get out!
If they have an active lease you can’t just kick tenants out. Plus the dad is part owner so keeping the property is a bad idea unless they bought him out which they can’t afford.
*its easy to say leave her, and make ur own life. but in reality its not like that. Im in same situation i help both my parents. they have retirement income too. but it snot enough for them so i help with bills and pretty much everything all the time. i even have a seperate debit card of mine in my dad's hand, so he can spend whenever he wants. whats the options? how can i ignore them, how can i live happily if i know my parents are suffering?*
Ramsey people are selfish with how they don't understand normal people their response would have surprised me had it been different!!!
Yes, there is that morality aspect which can't be ignored if you're wired that way. My (single) mother has absolutely $0 saved for retirement and in 5 years will have to sell the mobile home they're living in... and then move in with me for the rest of their lives (also my special needs sister). My mom did MLM making no money for 20 years and refused to get a job, but what can I do at the end of the day I can't let my mom live on the street. It is a financial anchor and personal life anchor, all I can think is to make her stick on a budget and have her get some sort of job. As I'm finally paying off my student loans and being able to rent a decent place, that's right when the mother going to come in and start living with me for the rest of her life.
Situation reveals character. Do the best you can, make the best boundaries and limitations as you can because I think they need to feel the pain, there has to be some sort of consequence to their actions (or lack thereof) just based on principle. Then just try to move forward. Money isn't everything in this life, at the end of the day did you live according to your principles and values, especially when it wasn't convenient. It's a delicate balance between being walked all over and trying to do the right thing. I wish you the best of luck. In a strange way it's kind of refreshing to know there are others in a similar situation.
This is Principal Skinner and his mother from the Simpsons.
I’m a 71 yo mom, partly disabled and working full time. I would never make my children responsible for me or my retirement. I would have gathered my resources from the divorce and figured out what I could do. That mom is being lazy.
I lived at home til age 27 and my mom never made me pay rent or bills she told me to save my money til I’m ready to move out. I’m so grateful for my mom especially after hearing ridiculous stories like this.
As an immigrant I’ve done that since 18 working 2 full time jobs going to school full time
I have many relatives in Los Angeles area it is expensive some live with 3 generations in one house hold I don't think this is a unusual situation for los angeles area
He thinks his mother is a wonderful mother because she did him the favor of getting a job so that the kids don't have to provide 100% of their income to HER. Really. Wow. I hope he wakes up.
That was when i knew that she had him brain washed.
That boy is married to his mom smh🤦
What !?
I understand its a good thing to want to make sure your mom has a good retirement era because she's raised you, but it also looks and feels gross seeing a parent dependent on their children for that retirement. I get it, she can't roll back the clock back but that should never be the goal for any parent.
Some people are saying this is a traditional thing to do but if this family is so concerned with tradition the father would still be part of the family and the son wouldn't have to turn into the husband lol
Nobody is there for a career but then he says he works for a film studio. He won't make $80K doing that anywhere else and he probably won't even find a job doing that anywhere that's much cheaper either.
Dave would’ve had a heart attack on air to learn the parents are getting 2,000/month rent to split on a million dollar paid off property.
This is sad and there are a lot of children who bare this burden their parents put on them knowingly or otherwise. I get it that a child wants to help his parents but it shouldn’t be a permanent or long term solution especially if the parents are able to work and take care of themselves.
He’s such a good son and strangers need to but out.
He came on to a show to ask strangers for their advice. Sooo there is that.
What? His mother is a user and guilt trip. She is a pos abu$ing making him support her let alone a grown sister. She’s abusing him. He needs to get out now or never have a life of his own.
I think it's hard for non-minorities to understand this big cultural difference. It's not uncommon for most of us coming from outside America to take care of our parents as they get older. Most of them worked hard to raise a family but don't have knowledge of "retirement plans." And we don't put them in nursing homes.
She’s not even 60, get a job.
George is Middle Eastern. I believe he is first-generation.
Jade and George are both minorities
Bought into non-minority divorce culture. Bought into moving to LA for "the business. Now let's go with the "minority culture" in this "non-minority" culture we bought in to. Stop with the condescending attitude
This comment makes no sense. Plenty of white people feel obligated to care for their parents in old-age too. It’s not about skin color/ethnicity (“minorities”) it’s about CULTURE. We’re all American, so save it.
I’m a FIRST-generation literal African-American female btw (both parents are from Africa) and I have no intention of supporting them in retirement. I have strong boundaries with my parents and moved out on my own when I was 21. I have my own life to live and family to start eventually.
They need to sell the condo they live in to avoid paying back depreciation and capital gains. Then she can move into investment property I may be wrong but I believe if she lives there as her personal residence as sells after 2-5 years she won’t have to pay capital gains and depreciation back on the rental she currently has, that’s like 40% she’ll take in taxes selling the rental property so the added value from the house verses the condo disappears with the taxes in California at least. She can also rent out rooms at her house if she needs to in order to live there until she meets the threshold to avoid paying depreciation and capital gains on the current rental.
They need to figure out why they only make $2,000 renting a million dollar property in California.
Split 50/50 rental income on a 1mil$ rental that is paid off is $1k??? She's either lying to him or he doesn't have all of the facts.
Emotionally this guy is between a rock & a hard place. Not his responsility, but I don't seem him getting out of this. Not a good situation for his future. Shame on mom for putting him in this situation. Hey mom-Please act like a grown woman for the benefit of your son.
I wonder what the divorce settlement said. Seems to me that the mom getting only $1,000/mo rental income as her portion from a million dollar property in LA is absurd. You can rent absolutely nothing in SoCal for under 4K/mo if it’s a SFH. Is she getting paid for “helping” at her ex-husband’s company? What’s her equity in that? The son has a great job at a film studio, I would just keep on keeping on, and then eventually inherit the house they’re in now. Why would you ever sell property? Especially in CA? Especially when it’s paid off?
Usually when u get divorced
U sell the house and divide the equity.
Start over
@@noreenn6976 Yeap. Basic divorce steps
This kid going to be 40 years old living with his mother still helping here. He will become her caretaker. She will be 71-72 and he will feel guilty to leave her
So where is the dad?
This is a cultural thing. If this is what a grown man wants to do then leave him alone.
Its a "man of the house now" teaching. Part of old way thinking.
To honor her, he only needs to make sure she has a place to live and food to eat, being a senior community, nusing home or the like. He doesnt have to, morally, fully support her.
Something is off here. It sounds like his parents were doing fairly well prior to the divorce, i.e., paid off rental property, business, etc. Did the mother get nothing in the divorce? Very odd.
George is gonna ask if the callers Mom can deliver Pizzas…or work at McDonald’s for 22 Dollars/Hour and Eat Beans and Rice Rice and Beans
or ask if she has a horse (or other pet) she can sell.
@@KanaTron Or tell the caller to tell his mom to move out and start being an adult for once
Both Ramsey Team hosts are jerks and learn to listen before they start talking over each other and the caller. They want mom out on the street, living alone after suffering a divorce.
@@CM-sy3to Usually I like George and Jade working together..The one that’s most irritating to me is Ken
Alimony?
Where is the alimony?
None! :)
I am happy for the husband.
damn.... this is my exact situation....
I feel for him…they do this in the black family as well…it’s called the black tax. The parents guilt trip kids into taking care of the financially and you as child give up your life to do so🤦🏾♀️. Praying for him and his sister…they could end up being son husband and daughter caretaker…
It strange how they dont want to tell all