I have aspergers and I was fortunate to find a Buddhist practise that helps me regain my energy , helps me focus and helps me realize my life in relation to others .
@@utisti4976 Same for me, for me its meditation, specifically I do so called Anapana and Vipassana meditation as taught by S. N. Goenka. Here is an introduction to the technique th-cam.com/video/Oh5ii6R6LTM/w-d-xo.html
Thanks for this, Paul. It got me going on my own train of thought about how I've been able to boost my energy. I found out the other day that spontaneity can get me unstuck. I was trying to decide whether to drive to a small town an hour away in order to buy something I could only buy there. Gas prices and time allotment were stumbling blocks. Then I thought, I'll do it anyway! Along the way I passed a beautiful road for walks. It ran beside a lake which turned out to be a great place to take pictures..... a passion of mine. Then I met some cottagers walking on the road and got in some good people time. Saw an interesting shop that could very well have something I'd been needing for a while, and sure enough, it was there. I felt pretty productive and energized by the time I got home..... I'm a retired person though, so taking that amount of time is feasible. Yet I do think aspies of all ages should spoil themselves that way once in a while..... :)
I relate to this. Going out for a walk, it's overwhelming to decide, which route to go. I recently recognized, that I pushed myself in a lot of daily situations to be "more NT" (for example chose different routes, because otherwise I'm a boring, not interested person). But I have ASD and new things, change things and decisions make me feel exhausted and this leads to even more anxiety. Thanks Paul! Edit: I haven't enough enery to get energy..... All my energy is lost within basic daily tasks :-( I think it's burnout. I HATE paperwork. It's a lot easier, if I listen to a podcast.
I realized this too! I used to shame my friend for wanting to route out our lunch walks, or talk about which way we're going. But then I've realized I was just trying to be more NT LOL. While I like some adventure/exploration I actually really like having a set plan to follow. Also I do drafting and I find it absolutely necessary to have podcasts or ebooks or music or something going on at the same time too. I'll furiously be looking for something engaging to listen to while I work otherwise the day is torture.
YES!!!! I love how you put this into words. I absolutely need a healthy routine in order to function. Even on my days off I create a nice frame for my day, otherwise I will exhaust myself in about one hour to the point where my executive functioning is gone until the next day. Totally gone. Can't even match clothes, I say "my decision maker is broken". Yet, I could still go for 2 mile run or clean the house or drive because it's all routine. So a good schedule is one that produces energy and provides structure so you CAN have the energy and focus to do the things that you value. Your videos Give me energy, ty for making them.
I really relate to how draining it is making all those decisions. Many years ago, I decided it would be good exercise for me to cycle to work sometimes and I set myself an initial target of twice a week. This meant every morning, I had to decide is today a cycling day, is it raining, a bit cold, I don't really feel like it, I'm running late ... I didn't even achieve twice a week like this. Then I took the choice away from myself and decided I was just going to cycle every day and that was so much easier and I have cycled ever since.
Yes, mindfully engaging in energy generating activities is a wonderful suggestion. My daily life has been revolving time and energy discernment since I realized my condition. Not all social interactions are draining, I have also noticed. But social games relating to social hierarchy remains the top “energy vampire” activity for me. If the interaction contains meaningful information exchange, adding value to both parties, genuine human connection, they boost my energy quite a bit. But still, it has to be one on one, once it becomes group activity. I start daydreaming.
Wait I need another hour of this content. You are blowing my mind. I might have to watch this another 2 or 3 times. Also, I feel the same way about spreadsheets!
For example, watching this video made me feel heard and understood and gave me a big boost of energy, unlike the other productivity videos out there on TH-cam that give low-novelty advice that doesn't really help me. Jokes aside, this video was very well-explained and helpful!
It was nice to see spoon theory mentioned here, as it's something I refer to often as an easy means to help explain to others when, how, and whether I have the ability to do something in the moment, as opposed to whether or not I have the skill to do it. It creates a language and understanding bridge which I have found very useful in my daily life.
I'm new to this diagnosis, but 76 years old. I'm exclaiming "Wow" as I listen to you. I'm sure you are spot on as to what drains you/me. I am pretty much flattened with fatigue right now and trying to figure out how to get out of it. You're explaining to me why (partly). I will take that into account.
That was refreshing Lately I’ve been experimenting - w. letting my interest & energy lead > It’s challenging to try to live by routines, when all my routines are busted. > Now I wait for the energy surge & I move by inspiration . It’s lovely ..
No wonder my half dozen or so systems for time-management as a self-employed creative at home keep failing. Thank you for turning the picture around 90 degrees for me! Brilliant tutorial, Paul. Thanks so much!
Very useful video, Paul. I can relate a lot to what you've said. There are situations when I just stand around in the room for quite a while figuring out what to do next. And my wife wonders why the heck I'm just standing there. Switching from task to task is not easy. I prefer to work on one task at a time. Sometimes, I even forget or neglect eating or going to the loo. At times, having a break is more tiring than just keep working. And there are tasks that I usually love to do. But I know that there is just not enough time available to do it properly and stay in the flow. This thought alone prevents me from picking it up.
literally shouted YES at bouldering + post-exercise-associated socialising. also the it taking waaay too much energy to keep myself on track. it's why I absolutely nailed my BSc (structured course with classes) and had a tough time during my MSc (tHe DeCISionS omg). AND AND how deciding what to do with your time off can mean it's not energising. Amused I had so many of the same pieces worked out, your videos really help me to compare notes and put them together. thanks Paul
Energy management and pacing became central to my life as I recovered from ME/CFS. Noticing how much better I felt living that way is part of what led me to my autistic identity.
If you have some level of PDA profile or ADHD, you also need to manage expectations from both outside and yourself. So going to gym never works for me because the coach expects me to show up certain times a week, which gives me a lot of pressure. So actually working out by myself at home works better than asking someone to monitor me.
I've been in the process of figuring this energy thing out for a while and I've arrived at pretty much the same conclusions as you. Some things that give me energy that I'd encourage people to give a shot are yoga, cold showers, strength training (in my case calisthenics based, but whatever floats your goat), certain types of social interaction, meditation. Also special shout out to nutritious, high fiber food (so basically lots of veggies). One thing I've just thought about and I'll explore further is an analogy to a video game like health bar. Some things fill up the bar a bit in the short term (like a cold shower, a cup of coffee or a good meal), others can even expand the whole bar over time (like regular physically straining activity and maintaining a proper diet long term).
Thank you! Now I having a postit on my Desk asking me "What is giving me energy" to remind me thinking of it and maybe get a list of energizing things I could do. This could really help me - thanks a lot!
Haha! I can *so* relate to this one! I was thinking, 'Yes! Yes! He understands!' I've tried explaining it to other people, but not met anyone else who feels the same way!
This is very helpful, thank you. Up until now I have used a preparation routine. I add preparations to do something and then when any one thing is prepared enough it feels natural to do it. However I did not understand why it was so hard to do things straight away and now I know it is because of poor 'Executive Function.'
Meditation works wonderfully to quite my mind, that part of me that often absorbs an unbalanced share of my energy. Sitting quietly, simply watching my thoughts ,without getting involved with them, definitely slows those hemorrhage states I get in to. The practice is well worth the energy and time.
Yes managing my time more by understanding how certain activities affect my energy! I like it. Personally it's hard to do multiple things as I get overly involved once I start them when. Then, when I feel real guilty I do a chore I really don't want to do real fast and then feel a bit better besides feeling exhausted.😅
This explains why i struggle with "free time" schedules. I struggle a lot with task switching so i typically feel frustrated when its time to switch and I'm not done with a task
Brilliant! This resonated well and clarified so much for me. I didn't realize why I was already starting to do this in some ways, with good benefit. I will definitely be applying the concepts more consciously going forward! Thank you!!
Thank you for this great video. What an eye-opener! What's the point of managing your time if you don't manage your energy? Why haven't I heard that before? Or at least not like this. Awesome explanation. 👍🏻
Thank you, thank you, thank you! I have been trying to implement more routine schedules thinking it would help, but it doesn’t - this has blown my mind, follow the energy!!
Wow - you articulated exactly the feeling I get when I have down / rest time. I am a firm believer in rest and sleep as a means of improving my moods and slowing down when I move too quickly. It is actually something I am obsessed with. But a lot of times I end up achieving absolutely nothing and I am more entertained by whatever is going on in my brain than anything else that is on my to-do list.No matter how many hobbies and interests I have, none of them are more motivating than staying stagnant and enjoying my own company. It makes so much sense why even though when I do 1 or 2 things off of my "things that give me energy list" i still cant gain momentum - most of the time it really IS that difficult to make a decision and carry it through.
I have EDS and PSA, 43 and in the past few months I have come to believe I'm on spectrum. Your vids have helped so much and this is something I'm really struggling with lately. Thanks for this 💜
Excellent! I walk daily. The decision was that I would walk daily, NOT each day deciding to walk. I have two routes. And I just vary them depending on which way I feel when I reach the end of my street, not thinking much about it. I listen to audiobooks (novels, not nonfiction) when I walk, and that gives me energy, too. I sometimes talk on the phone to a family member (who talks nonstop) when I walk, and it takes me less energy to walk and listen than to do either separately. It has to do with the rhythm of walking. I have some physical therapy exercises that I find it hard to "fit in to my schedule" though the therapist assured me it took "only a few minutes." This explains it all. Also, I like the ones where I time it with my watch, I hate counting repetitions. That is draining, haha.
Thanks, Paul. This is very useful advice, just what I needed. Executive functioning is something I also realized I have a problem with but it had no name to it in my mind. spoon theory sounds interesting too. for me deciding whether to take a bath, study, watch television or take a long walk in the park was draining and I often ended up doing nothing. now there is no longer a bath in my house but a shower. even though I enjoyed taking baths I am actually happier with a shower because taking a shower will take me less brain energy deciding because it takes less time to take a shower. I plan to make a list of things I enjoy and do not enjoy doing and plan it into my day.
The spreadsheet bit was fun. I like car part and general hardware catalogs and have focused my whole working life around them... spreadsheets involve maths and I'm stuck at a third grade level lol so not quite my fave. On topic: I don't do well with time management at all and end up dropping mundane tasks partway through. Usually because the thing I'm using to occupy my mind in order to even start the aforementioned boring task has completely taken over my focus. Not sure how to remedy that
I feel so much better hearing this at least I am not alone, struggling to decide anything, the need to calculate every aspect of a task before actually doing it, taking 90 percent of time planning, feeling blank when I dont know what to do next... so many struggles everyday which are so easy for many people, ohh and I am not even diagnosed yet. Not knowing if I will get help ever scares me.
This is part of what killed my marriage. My soon to be ex-wife absolutely refuses to let me do things to recharge myself and spent so much time bullying me into doing things that she liked, that it left me a more or less empty husk of a human being. Which was bad enough, but she also pretty much refused to do anything independently and even things like picking up online orders which she could do on her own, required me to come along and use what little time and energy I had. Even just things as simple as me not being hungry at that time, or not wanting to have a refrigerator full of junkfood might take an hour of arguing before she'd accept that my answer was no. It's no wonder that I didn't get anywhere near as much stuff done as I wanted to. All my energy was going into my vampire wife.
Your channel is life changing. I literally thought that I was so weird and alone in that I would need these sorts of supports and I would keep it to myself because I was terrified of what people would think if they saw me operating like this
This is something I always struggle with as I’m someone who really wants to push myself to the absolute limit of what my mind will allow me to do but over time it does become very difficult as I wouldn’t know what to do really as I have so many interests as I value complexity and understanding. This really did help me understand how my mind works when it comes to managing time or energy because there isn’t really a lot of things the make me click other than learning songs on my guitar. I thank you a lot Paul for what you do with your channel as it is very relatable and easy to understand. Thanks again!
Great video, just when I started applying this, and while I did not do so directly because of you, my mind did go back to your previous videos on this concept of energy flow. This one was very thorough and perfect timing for me.
I’ve been doing this for years now and only realized it a few years ago. I noticed that I don’t have too many “routines” in a traditional sense, like what an outside person might recognize as routines, but I definitely do have maintenance routines that I do very rigorously in order to be adaptable and able to cope with changing or unpredictable situations, and if for whatever reason my ability to engage in those maintenance routines gets interrupted, then suddenly I start to feel very obviously autistic and get upset and flustered and overwhelmed and start losing my executive functioning abilities. It’s only more recently that I’ve really recognized what my strategies have been, but I have had them in place now for probably close to two decades before it dawned on me what I was doing some few years ago. Also, I finally realized that I actually do have traditional routines that I engage in as well, but my self maintenance routines are adequate that I had a harder time noticing my normal routines were there because I could change them without becoming very upset a lot of the time. It was only when I started to notice that despite not becoming dysfunctinoal or having a meltdown, I would still exerpience a distinct internal “upset” anytime I had to change those routines. I tell people now that while I’m not Rainman where “Tuesday night is definitely Italian night”, I do actually always eat macaroni and cheese every Thursday night and I do always eat Mexican food every Friday night. I just don’t freak out if it doesn’t happen one night. I do get closer to freaking out with every subsequent “miss” though, and that was the part I wasn’t so conscious of because of my self maintenance “routines” and because I was lucky enough that I never missed any of my regular routines often enough for it to have a visible impact. I agree with your time management vs. energy management concept here, too. I think time management is necessary for things that are on a critical deadline where there isn’t time to shift them around, but otherwise, I’m always better off managing my energy than I am managing my time, because I suck at managing time, but managing energy is like breathing - if I don’t do it, it doesn’t take long to feel the impact of not doing it, so it’s more of a no-brainer.
SUCH a helpful discussion. I'm not on the spectrum but I have some attention problems - all of these things: managing energy instead of time, learning what gives me energy and what drains me - all are much better ways for me to think about how I manage my life. And I agree with you about how energy is a renewable resource. Even when I don't sleep particularly well, I have better focus and more energy in the mornings. And even when I've been resting, I'm less focused and more prone to make mistakes in the evenings. It's important for me to remember in making judgements about what to do when.
I saw on a previous video that you should never tell a person they could be struggling with this. I apologize if I misunderstood. My question is, what if the person knows something is different but doesn’t know what it is or why. Would it be acceptable to say here is some information that may or may not be helpful to you but here it is.
I always thought the problem was that my routines should be more precisely planned but I end up making the most perfect routine and it still doesnt work
Paul, this is amazing, thank you! Thinking about the tasks that I have to do all day every day as time management, but also energy management. That specific mindset or perception, it was like an epiphany for me. I struggle a lot with managing both my time and my energy, sometimes I’ll neglect one to focus on the other and I always feel frustrated because I always come up short. I’m not too positive on the things that give me energy, but that’s for me to work on, thank you again for the helpful insight!
I love your explanation!! You are always able to connect dots in my brain that are so close yet not fully formulated. I love the thought of engineering my life around energy. I also use a list to pick something to do from when I have bouts of time but not knowing how to fill it. It's super necessary for me too.
It might be worth investigating, why it feels necessary to make a choice and why not making a choice and not doing anything with your free time feels anxious. Once I got past that barrier and accepted that I sometimes do nothing (like literally stare at the wall, just watching the light move across it), I got to reload much quicker. For me, why I couldn´t shut down had to do with judging myself. I feel useless when I don´t do anything. I need to be useful to be protected, some part of me expects an attack out of nowhere if I am not visibly useful. That led me to some traumas and EMDR for those traumas, but right now, I can accept that I might be useless and not do anything. Strangely enough accepting that has made me much more productive. In that process I also encountered the fear that I´d never do anything again, but the way through that was also accepting that. Which basically means accepting that you are going to die and being ok with that. That´s scary stuff, but once you are through, it really becomes a lot easier.
Love you videos by the way, they have been very helpful. I try really hard to force myself to do what has to be done which sometimes works and sometimes doesn't. When I heard activities that involves others it does seem that the activities that I'm accustomed to doing with others does give me a boost🤔. So I will be making sure to keep up with that for 1 thing.
Thank you for this video Paul. I can really relate to this subject. Especially about the day off to recharge and not being able to. For me the list of things to do is even to hard to choose from for me. Thats why i’m going to try the Spin The Wheel app where you can have input for what you can do and then let the wheel deside.
I said in an earlier comment (different video) that I would give myself a 6.5 out of 10 in executive function/energy use. But watching some more videos I do realize I “cheat” a lot. I’ve come to realize over the last few years I will sometimes say to myself (like on a day off, when my energy can get low after working 5 long days); that I might need to just do a couple things, but do them well. Then I tell myself “well at least I got that done today” and I don’t feel as bad.
On my iPad, your program is so much quieter than the ads so that the ads blast me when they come on kind of like a slap in the face. Not sure you have any control over that though 🤔🤷🏼♀️ But really enjoy your video!!
I am on the process to be diagnosed and this video absolutely describes everything I came to know (actually, understand) about myself in the past few months. But I still struggle with the idea that this my be describe neurotypicals too, right? Let me be more clear. I know I feel differently, I have this strong impression that I function differently, but how can I be sure about it in an objective way?
Yes, I've been getting back into rock climbing (bouldering at first but now mostly top rope) and it's such a fun and great way to stay active, especially with the socializing afterwards
My morning routine drains me of mental energy, to the point that pretty much dress the same every Monday, every Tuesday, ... and so on. Sometimes I vary in advance which shirt will be for Mondays or pick a random shirt for Fridays for example. Another thing that I started to do is find full music albums that are timed exactly to the things that I need to have done at certain times, I know that pretty much I do the same every day but the idea of keep track of the time to be on time is exhausting!!!
So, I'm learning that I might have (be?) asperger so I'm watching stuff about it, and wow, what you're saying about sports outside and not having the energy to make the decisions and all to end up doing that... that's my life you're describing there it's uncanny.
I like the idea of emails/typed comms when you're already low on energy. This could work for me too. ie brain is slower so might be less likely to overanalyse as much as when it's pinging around. Trick is now to not peek at notifications cause I'll loop constantly, editing & re-drafting mentally. Exhausting! Already silenced most because I was / am so on edge. Might need to hide them altogether til I'm ready to tackle them....but that seems scary :/
A lot of what you say here is applicable beyond the autistic spectrum world. I can relate to a lot of what you say about all the decisions that need to be made on the way to doing something sometimes quite as simple as going for a walk, the paralysis that can come from having no external structure… I now at least have a sports exercise course on Monday afternoons that is just a set part of my schedule, and that seems to be good!
Just was found out, threw out all the masks n shaved. Covid makes it hard demasking when a mask 😷 you need to move about. Love ❤️ your channel, you don’t know but ur videos great attitude n friendly,warm n welcoming approach I think works n your info is knowledgeable. Well done Paul. You give hope to the one who gave up, almost. N ur vid is the last change sm1 sees b4 throwing in the towel. Personally speaking, this channel has help. Thank you n I will pay it forward! 😉
I personally have no idea how neurotypical peoples brains work but I think this would be good advice for people who aren’t autistic too. Especially the part about going to a workout class is easier than going to a gym and having to come up with your own program. Workout programming is way harder than you would think and it seems like it takes years of practice and research to get good at. So just go to a class unless you already have a plan.
When you have ME/CFS the "Managing Time vs Managing Energy: Which is better?" question is answered with, The question of which is "better" is irrelevant because managing energy is now an absolute necessity.
@@mz2535 From: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, U.S. Department of Health & Human Services; "Myalgic encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue syndrome (ME/CFS) is a serious, long-term illness that affects many body systems. People with ME/CFS are often not able to do their usual activities. At times, ME/CFS may confine them to bed. People with ME/CFS have severe fatigue and sleep problems. ME/CFS may get worse after people with the illness try to do as much as they want or need to do. This symptom is called post-exertional malaise (PEM). Other symptoms can include problems with thinking and concentrating, pain, and dizziness."
AAu I can relate to this so much. I have the hardest time with transitioning from one task to the next. I am trying to learn skills that will help me with this so I can get more things done that I need to get done. *phew*!
It's all too much for me. I hate it. I'd rather not face it. It cuts in on my dream time. My time to think about things. I resent the fact that I can't just sit here and look out the window. I don't care if the place is messy or slightly dirty. I have things to think about. Leave all that work to people who feel they need to do it. Example: We all need some exercise. I'm too lazy to do it. I also need to keep the lawn from getting up to the windows. So I fired the gardener and do the lawn myself. I walk around like a zombie behind the self-drive mower and while I'm thinking, the lawn gets done. My wife pays the bills because she's a big snoop and wants to know where every nickel is going. I don't care, so I never look at the bills or take in the mail. Who cares what's going on? It's all bullshit. I bet I'm autistic. I know I have Alzheimer's. Who cares?
The Neurodiverse need to think of themselves as sprinters work in intense short term activities followed up with copious amounts of rest. The Neurotypical population are the marathon runners and drag tasks out. It’s taken 40 years to figure this out
Def Energy,but being pinned to my chair bcs i need to retract nerves from my nose, hand and feet (and some others),thats bad.Beeing used to pain helps.
![ILLSLICK - KILLSHOT REMIX [FULL VERSION]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/RIK8RrqIAzE/mqdefault.jpg)
I have aspergers and I was fortunate to find a Buddhist practise that helps me regain my energy , helps me focus and helps me realize my life in relation to others .
What is this Buddhist practice exactly? It could help me too.
@@utisti4976 Same for me, for me its meditation, specifically I do so called Anapana and Vipassana meditation as taught by S. N. Goenka.
Here is an introduction to the technique th-cam.com/video/Oh5ii6R6LTM/w-d-xo.html
Have to agree that meditation really helps me to refocus and replenish my mental energy. :)
Nice. I didn't understand Buddhism much, until I listened to an audio by Alan watts called You're It! I recommend it to anyone interested .... in life
Thanks for this, Paul. It got me going on my own train of thought about how I've been able to boost my energy.
I found out the other day that spontaneity can get me unstuck. I was trying to decide whether to drive to a small town an hour away in order to buy something I could only buy there. Gas prices and time allotment were stumbling blocks. Then I thought, I'll do it anyway!
Along the way I passed a beautiful road for walks. It ran beside a lake which turned out to be a great place to take pictures..... a passion of mine. Then I met some cottagers walking on the road and got in some good people time. Saw an interesting shop that could very well have something I'd been needing for a while, and sure enough, it was there.
I felt pretty productive and energized by the time I got home..... I'm a retired person though, so taking that amount of time is feasible. Yet I do think aspies of all ages should spoil themselves that way once in a while..... :)
I relate to this. Going out for a walk, it's overwhelming to decide, which route to go. I recently recognized, that I pushed myself in a lot of daily situations to be "more NT" (for example chose different routes, because otherwise I'm a boring, not interested person). But I have ASD and new things, change things and decisions make me feel exhausted and this leads to even more anxiety.
Thanks Paul!
Edit: I haven't enough enery to get energy..... All my energy is lost within basic daily tasks :-( I think it's burnout.
I HATE paperwork. It's a lot easier, if I listen to a podcast.
I realized this too! I used to shame my friend for wanting to route out our lunch walks, or talk about which way we're going. But then I've realized I was just trying to be more NT LOL. While I like some adventure/exploration I actually really like having a set plan to follow. Also I do drafting and I find it absolutely necessary to have podcasts or ebooks or music or something going on at the same time too. I'll furiously be looking for something engaging to listen to while I work otherwise the day is torture.
YES!!!! I love how you put this into words. I absolutely need a healthy routine in order to function. Even on my days off I create a nice frame for my day, otherwise I will exhaust myself in about one hour to the point where my executive functioning is gone until the next day. Totally gone. Can't even match clothes, I say "my decision maker is broken". Yet, I could still go for 2 mile run or clean the house or drive because it's all routine.
So a good schedule is one that produces energy and provides structure so you CAN have the energy and focus to do the things that you value.
Your videos Give me energy, ty for making them.
I really relate to how draining it is making all those decisions. Many years ago, I decided it would be good exercise for me to cycle to work sometimes and I set myself an initial target of twice a week. This meant every morning, I had to decide is today a cycling day, is it raining, a bit cold, I don't really feel like it, I'm running late ... I didn't even achieve twice a week like this. Then I took the choice away from myself and decided I was just going to cycle every day and that was so much easier and I have cycled ever since.
Yes, mindfully engaging in energy generating activities is a wonderful suggestion. My daily life has been revolving time and energy discernment since I realized my condition. Not all social interactions are draining, I have also noticed. But social games relating to social hierarchy remains the top “energy vampire” activity for me. If the interaction contains meaningful information exchange, adding value to both parties, genuine human connection, they boost my energy quite a bit. But still, it has to be one on one, once it becomes group activity. I start daydreaming.
Watching your videos is energizing at the moment ☺️
Wait I need another hour of this content. You are blowing my mind. I might have to watch this another 2 or 3 times. Also, I feel the same way about spreadsheets!
For example, watching this video made me feel heard and understood and gave me a big boost of energy, unlike the other productivity videos out there on TH-cam that give low-novelty advice that doesn't really help me.
Jokes aside, this video was very well-explained and helpful!
It was nice to see spoon theory mentioned here, as it's something I refer to often as an easy means to help explain to others when, how, and whether I have the ability to do something in the moment, as opposed to whether or not I have the skill to do it. It creates a language and understanding bridge which I have found very useful in my daily life.
I'm new to this diagnosis, but 76 years old. I'm exclaiming "Wow" as I listen to you. I'm sure you are spot on as to what drains you/me. I am pretty much flattened with fatigue right now and trying to figure out how to get out of it. You're explaining to me why (partly). I will take that into account.
That was refreshing
Lately I’ve been experimenting - w. letting my interest & energy lead
> It’s challenging to try to live by routines, when all my routines are busted.
> Now I wait for the energy surge & I move by inspiration . It’s lovely ..
I needed this right now. I keep struggling with my time keeping and it always comes back to lack of energy.
No wonder my half dozen or so systems for time-management as a self-employed creative at home keep failing. Thank you for turning the picture around 90 degrees for me! Brilliant tutorial, Paul. Thanks so much!
Very useful video, Paul. I can relate a lot to what you've said. There are situations when I just stand around in the room for quite a while figuring out what to do next. And my wife wonders why the heck I'm just standing there. Switching from task to task is not easy. I prefer to work on one task at a time. Sometimes, I even forget or neglect eating or going to the loo. At times, having a break is more tiring than just keep working. And there are tasks that I usually love to do. But I know that there is just not enough time available to do it properly and stay in the flow. This thought alone prevents me from picking it up.
We struggle with multi tasking and transitioning between tasks
@@Dancestar1981 I know. However, I am not yet sure if I am autistic or just have a few autistic traits.
Thank you Paul...You always help me better understand my beloved husband...Thank you😌
literally shouted YES at bouldering + post-exercise-associated socialising. also the it taking waaay too much energy to keep myself on track. it's why I absolutely nailed my BSc (structured course with classes) and had a tough time during my MSc (tHe DeCISionS omg). AND AND how deciding what to do with your time off can mean it's not energising. Amused I had so many of the same pieces worked out, your videos really help me to compare notes and put them together. thanks Paul
Energy management and pacing became central to my life as I recovered from ME/CFS. Noticing how much better I felt living that way is part of what led me to my autistic identity.
If you have some level of PDA profile or ADHD, you also need to manage expectations from both outside and yourself. So going to gym never works for me because the coach expects me to show up certain times a week, which gives me a lot of pressure. So actually working out by myself at home works better than asking someone to monitor me.
Thanks again, Paul for describing my life! Very glad to have this help now, wish I'd had it 40 years ago!
I've been in the process of figuring this energy thing out for a while and I've arrived at pretty much the same conclusions as you. Some things that give me energy that I'd encourage people to give a shot are yoga, cold showers, strength training (in my case calisthenics based, but whatever floats your goat), certain types of social interaction, meditation. Also special shout out to nutritious, high fiber food (so basically lots of veggies).
One thing I've just thought about and I'll explore further is an analogy to a video game like health bar. Some things fill up the bar a bit in the short term (like a cold shower, a cup of coffee or a good meal), others can even expand the whole bar over time (like regular physically straining activity and maintaining a proper diet long term).
Thank you! Now I having a postit on my Desk asking me "What is giving me energy" to remind me thinking of it and maybe get a list of energizing things I could do. This could really help me - thanks a lot!
Haha! I can *so* relate to this one! I was thinking, 'Yes! Yes! He understands!' I've tried explaining it to other people, but not met anyone else who feels the same way!
This is very helpful, thank you. Up until now I have used a preparation routine. I add preparations to do something and then when any one thing is prepared enough it feels natural to do it. However I did not understand why it was so hard to do things straight away and now I know it is because of poor 'Executive Function.'
Meditation works wonderfully to quite my mind, that part of me that often absorbs an unbalanced share of my energy. Sitting quietly, simply watching my thoughts ,without getting involved with them, definitely slows those hemorrhage states I get in to. The practice is well worth the energy and time.
Yes managing my time more by understanding how certain activities affect my energy! I like it. Personally it's hard to do multiple things as I get overly involved once I start them when. Then, when I feel real guilty I do a chore I really don't want to do real fast and then feel a bit better besides feeling exhausted.😅
Motivation comes from getting started. Always do the minimum and sometimes the rest will happen all on its own.
Yes once we start we are task oriented and will follow through on task it’s the task initiation process that’s the most difficult
This explains why i struggle with "free time" schedules.
I struggle a lot with task switching so i typically feel frustrated when its time to switch and I'm not done with a task
Brilliant! This resonated well and clarified so much for me. I didn't realize why I was already starting to do this in some ways, with good benefit. I will definitely be applying the concepts more consciously going forward! Thank you!!
Exactly . Time Management is by product of Energy Management.
Best schedule, systems or time tables can't do anything if you have mismanaged energy.
Thank you for this great video.
What an eye-opener! What's the point of managing your time if you don't manage your energy? Why haven't I heard that before? Or at least not like this. Awesome explanation. 👍🏻
Thank you, thank you, thank you! I have been trying to implement more routine schedules thinking it would help, but it doesn’t - this has blown my mind, follow the energy!!
This can really help us make better decisions. So relatable.
Wow - you articulated exactly the feeling I get when I have down / rest time. I am a firm believer in rest and sleep as a means of improving my moods and slowing down when I move too quickly. It is actually something I am obsessed with. But a lot of times I end up achieving absolutely nothing and I am more entertained by whatever is going on in my brain than anything else that is on my to-do list.No matter how many hobbies and interests I have, none of them are more motivating than staying stagnant and enjoying my own company. It makes so much sense why even though when I do 1 or 2 things off of my "things that give me energy list" i still cant gain momentum - most of the time it really IS that difficult to make a decision and carry it through.
This is so recognizable. Thank you for your insights!
I have EDS and PSA, 43 and in the past few months I have come to believe I'm on spectrum. Your vids have helped so much and this is something I'm really struggling with lately. Thanks for this 💜
That was BRILLIANT Paul !!! Will have to watch a few more times to absorb it...
Excellent! I walk daily. The decision was that I would walk daily, NOT each day deciding to walk. I have two routes. And I just vary them depending on which way I feel when I reach the end of my street, not thinking much about it. I listen to audiobooks (novels, not nonfiction) when I walk, and that gives me energy, too. I sometimes talk on the phone to a family member (who talks nonstop) when I walk, and it takes me less energy to walk and listen than to do either separately. It has to do with the rhythm of walking.
I have some physical therapy exercises that I find it hard to "fit in to my schedule" though the therapist assured me it took "only a few minutes." This explains it all. Also, I like the ones where I time it with my watch, I hate counting repetitions. That is draining, haha.
Thanks, Paul. This is very useful advice, just what I needed. Executive functioning is something I also realized I have a problem with but it had no name to it in my mind. spoon theory sounds interesting too. for me deciding whether to take a bath, study, watch television or take a long walk in the park was draining and I often ended up doing nothing. now there is no longer a bath in my house but a shower. even though I enjoyed taking baths I am actually happier with a shower because taking a shower will take me less brain energy deciding because it takes less time to take a shower. I plan to make a list of things I enjoy and do not enjoy doing and plan it into my day.
The spreadsheet bit was fun. I like car part and general hardware catalogs and have focused my whole working life around them... spreadsheets involve maths and I'm stuck at a third grade level lol so not quite my fave.
On topic: I don't do well with time management at all and end up dropping mundane tasks partway through. Usually because the thing I'm using to occupy my mind in order to even start the aforementioned boring task has completely taken over my focus. Not sure how to remedy that
I feel so much better hearing this at least I am not alone, struggling to decide anything, the need to calculate every aspect of a task before actually doing it, taking 90 percent of time planning, feeling blank when I dont know what to do next... so many struggles everyday which are so easy for many people, ohh and I am not even diagnosed yet. Not knowing if I will get help ever scares me.
This video is really helpful! I have been struggling with this for many years.
This is part of what killed my marriage. My soon to be ex-wife absolutely refuses to let me do things to recharge myself and spent so much time bullying me into doing things that she liked, that it left me a more or less empty husk of a human being. Which was bad enough, but she also pretty much refused to do anything independently and even things like picking up online orders which she could do on her own, required me to come along and use what little time and energy I had. Even just things as simple as me not being hungry at that time, or not wanting to have a refrigerator full of junkfood might take an hour of arguing before she'd accept that my answer was no.
It's no wonder that I didn't get anywhere near as much stuff done as I wanted to. All my energy was going into my vampire wife.
This is groundbreaking for me. Thank you! ❤
Your channel is life changing. I literally thought that I was so weird and alone in that I would need these sorts of supports and I would keep it to myself because I was terrified of what people would think if they saw me operating like this
This is something I always struggle with as I’m someone who really wants to push myself to the absolute limit of what my mind will allow me to do but over time it does become very difficult as I wouldn’t know what to do really as I have so many interests as I value complexity and understanding. This really did help me understand how my mind works when it comes to managing time or energy because there isn’t really a lot of things the make me click other than learning songs on my guitar. I thank you a lot Paul for what you do with your channel as it is very relatable and easy to understand.
Thanks again!
Great video, just when I started applying this, and while I did not do so directly because of you, my mind did go back to your previous videos on this concept of energy flow. This one was very thorough and perfect timing for me.
Brilliant insight and strategy!!! Thanks! :)
I’ve been doing this for years now and only realized it a few years ago. I noticed that I don’t have too many “routines” in a traditional sense, like what an outside person might recognize as routines, but I definitely do have maintenance routines that I do very rigorously in order to be adaptable and able to cope with changing or unpredictable situations, and if for whatever reason my ability to engage in those maintenance routines gets interrupted, then suddenly I start to feel very obviously autistic and get upset and flustered and overwhelmed and start losing my executive functioning abilities. It’s only more recently that I’ve really recognized what my strategies have been, but I have had them in place now for probably close to two decades before it dawned on me what I was doing some few years ago.
Also, I finally realized that I actually do have traditional routines that I engage in as well, but my self maintenance routines are adequate that I had a harder time noticing my normal routines were there because I could change them without becoming very upset a lot of the time. It was only when I started to notice that despite not becoming dysfunctinoal or having a meltdown, I would still exerpience a distinct internal “upset” anytime I had to change those routines. I tell people now that while I’m not Rainman where “Tuesday night is definitely Italian night”, I do actually always eat macaroni and cheese every Thursday night and I do always eat Mexican food every Friday night. I just don’t freak out if it doesn’t happen one night. I do get closer to freaking out with every subsequent “miss” though, and that was the part I wasn’t so conscious of because of my self maintenance “routines” and because I was lucky enough that I never missed any of my regular routines often enough for it to have a visible impact.
I agree with your time management vs. energy management concept here, too. I think time management is necessary for things that are on a critical deadline where there isn’t time to shift them around, but otherwise, I’m always better off managing my energy than I am managing my time, because I suck at managing time, but managing energy is like breathing - if I don’t do it, it doesn’t take long to feel the impact of not doing it, so it’s more of a no-brainer.
Great insight here. Will be looking at my tasks this way from now on
SUCH a helpful discussion. I'm not on the spectrum but I have some attention problems - all of these things: managing energy instead of time, learning what gives me energy and what drains me - all are much better ways for me to think about how I manage my life. And I agree with you about how energy is a renewable resource. Even when I don't sleep particularly well, I have better focus and more energy in the mornings. And even when I've been resting, I'm less focused and more prone to make mistakes in the evenings. It's important for me to remember in making judgements about what to do when.
I saw on a previous video that you should never tell a person they could be struggling with this. I apologize if I misunderstood. My question is, what if the person knows something is different but doesn’t know what it is or why. Would it be acceptable to say here is some information that may or may not be helpful to you but here it is.
I always thought the problem was that my routines should be more precisely planned but I end up making the most perfect routine and it still doesnt work
So happy to have found your channel thanks for sharing ❣️
Paul, this is amazing, thank you! Thinking about the tasks that I have to do all day every day as time management, but also energy management. That specific mindset or perception, it was like an epiphany for me. I struggle a lot with managing both my time and my energy, sometimes I’ll neglect one to focus on the other and I always feel frustrated because I always come up short. I’m not too positive on the things that give me energy, but that’s for me to work on, thank you again for the helpful insight!
I love your explanation!! You are always able to connect dots in my brain that are so close yet not fully formulated. I love the thought of engineering my life around energy. I also use a list to pick something to do from when I have bouts of time but not knowing how to fill it. It's super necessary for me too.
It might be worth investigating, why it feels necessary to make a choice and why not making a choice and not doing anything with your free time feels anxious. Once I got past that barrier and accepted that I sometimes do nothing (like literally stare at the wall, just watching the light move across it), I got to reload much quicker.
For me, why I couldn´t shut down had to do with judging myself. I feel useless when I don´t do anything. I need to be useful to be protected, some part of me expects an attack out of nowhere if I am not visibly useful. That led me to some traumas and EMDR for those traumas, but right now, I can accept that I might be useless and not do anything. Strangely enough accepting that has made me much more productive. In that process I also encountered the fear that I´d never do anything again, but the way through that was also accepting that. Which basically means accepting that you are going to die and being ok with that. That´s scary stuff, but once you are through, it really becomes a lot easier.
Love you videos by the way, they have been very helpful. I try really hard to force myself to do what has to be done which sometimes works and sometimes doesn't. When I heard activities that involves others it does seem that the activities that I'm accustomed to doing with others does give me a boost🤔. So I will be making sure to keep up with that for 1 thing.
Great video! I’m learning so much from you! Thank you 😊
Thank you so much this is exactly what I've needed
Thank you for this video Paul. I can really relate to this subject. Especially about the day off to recharge and not being able to. For me the list of things to do is even to hard to choose from for me. Thats why i’m going to try the Spin The Wheel app where you can have input for what you can do and then let the wheel deside.
Glad to know I'm not the only one who finds just before bed to be the best time for emails!
Thank you for your great work.
This is a fantastic video. Thank you Paul
I said in an earlier comment (different video) that I would give myself a 6.5 out of 10 in executive function/energy use. But watching some more videos I do realize I “cheat” a lot.
I’ve come to realize over the last few years I will sometimes say to myself (like on a day off, when my energy can get low after working 5 long days); that I might need to just do a couple things, but do them well. Then I tell myself “well at least I got that done today” and I don’t feel as bad.
On my iPad, your program is so much quieter than the ads so that the ads blast me when they come on kind of like a slap in the face. Not sure you have any control over that though 🤔🤷🏼♀️ But really enjoy your video!!
I found the same.
Thx Paul.
Drew
I am on the process to be diagnosed and this video absolutely describes everything I came to know (actually, understand) about myself in the past few months. But I still struggle with the idea that this my be describe neurotypicals too, right? Let me be more clear. I know I feel differently, I have this strong impression that I function differently, but how can I be sure about it in an objective way?
Yes, I've been getting back into rock climbing (bouldering at first but now mostly top rope) and it's such a fun and great way to stay active, especially with the socializing afterwards
My morning routine drains me of mental energy, to the point that pretty much dress the same every Monday, every Tuesday, ... and so on. Sometimes I vary in advance which shirt will be for Mondays or pick a random shirt for Fridays for example.
Another thing that I started to do is find full music albums that are timed exactly to the things that I need to have done at certain times, I know that pretty much I do the same every day but the idea of keep track of the time to be on time is exhausting!!!
I relate to everything you said
So, I'm learning that I might have (be?) asperger so I'm watching stuff about it, and wow, what you're saying about sports outside and not having the energy to make the decisions and all to end up doing that... that's my life you're describing there it's uncanny.
I like the idea of emails/typed comms when you're already low on energy. This could work for me too. ie brain is slower so might be less likely to overanalyse as much as when it's pinging around. Trick is now to not peek at notifications cause I'll loop constantly, editing & re-drafting mentally. Exhausting! Already silenced most because I was / am so on edge. Might need to hide them altogether til I'm ready to tackle them....but that seems scary :/
Really helpful! Thank you.
I love spreadsheets sooo much!
A lot of what you say here is applicable beyond the autistic spectrum world. I can relate to a lot of what you say about all the decisions that need to be made on the way to doing something sometimes quite as simple as going for a walk, the paralysis that can come from having no external structure… I now at least have a sports exercise course on Monday afternoons that is just a set part of my schedule, and that seems to be good!
please do a video on your bookshelf
Nice one. thanks.
Just was found out, threw out all the masks n shaved. Covid makes it hard demasking when a mask 😷 you need to move about. Love ❤️ your channel, you don’t know but ur videos great attitude n friendly,warm n welcoming approach I think works n your info is knowledgeable. Well done Paul. You give hope to the one who gave up, almost. N ur vid is the last change sm1 sees b4 throwing in the towel. Personally speaking, this channel has help. Thank you n I will pay it forward! 😉
That was very helpful 🙏💪
Thank you. I love spreadsheets, so I totally get what you mean. I'm going to the burnout video now, because it seems to be a video I need.
I like spreadsheets too!!! 😍😍😍
I believe I've been struggling with this myself?
I personally have no idea how neurotypical peoples brains work but I think this would be good advice for people who aren’t autistic too. Especially the part about going to a workout class is easier than going to a gym and having to come up with your own program.
Workout programming is way harder than you would think and it seems like it takes years of practice and research to get good at.
So just go to a class unless you already have a plan.
What are the right kind of social interactions?
Idk if I'm autistic but I do really relate to this video. Apart from the liking spreadsheets bit...
🤭🤭🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣Me too!!
When you have ME/CFS the "Managing Time vs Managing Energy: Which is better?" question is answered with, The question of which is "better" is irrelevant because managing energy is now an absolute necessity.
@@mz2535 From: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, U.S. Department of Health & Human Services; "Myalgic encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue syndrome (ME/CFS) is a serious, long-term illness that affects many body systems. People with ME/CFS are often not able to do their usual activities. At times, ME/CFS may confine them to bed. People with ME/CFS have severe fatigue and sleep problems. ME/CFS may get worse after people with the illness try to do as much as they want or need to do. This symptom is called post-exertional malaise (PEM). Other symptoms can include problems with thinking and concentrating, pain, and dizziness."
AAu I can relate to this so much. I have the hardest time with transitioning from one task to the next. I am trying to learn skills that will help me with this so I can get more things done that I need to get done. *phew*!
It's all too much for me. I hate it. I'd rather not face it. It cuts in on my dream time. My time to think about things. I resent the fact that I can't just sit here and look out the window. I don't care if the place is messy or slightly dirty. I have things to think about. Leave all that work to people who feel they need to do it. Example: We all need some exercise. I'm too lazy to do it. I also need to keep the lawn from getting up to the windows. So I fired the gardener and do the lawn myself. I walk around like a zombie behind the self-drive mower and while I'm thinking, the lawn gets done. My wife pays the bills because she's a big snoop and wants to know where every nickel is going. I don't care, so I never look at the bills or take in the mail. Who cares what's going on? It's all bullshit. I bet I'm autistic. I know I have Alzheimer's. Who cares?
Are star jumps
Jumping jacks?
I think so.
The Neurodiverse need to think of themselves as sprinters work in intense short term activities followed up with copious amounts of rest. The Neurotypical population are the marathon runners and drag tasks out. It’s taken 40 years to figure this out
I like making spreadsheets too!!! 😂
Def Energy,but being pinned to my chair bcs i need to retract nerves from my nose, hand and feet (and some others),thats bad.Beeing used to pain helps.
Both
You don't need to shower every day unless you get dirty every day but certain parts may differ.
Tysm ily
Probably a mixture of both is best it’s a double whammy with Aspergers and ADHD Inattentive together
If they are clearly struggling and something could possibly help them wouldn’t you say I don’t know if this is it but here’s the information
hey there
I’ve learned over the years how to handle my energy but my family just call it lazy
Moringa