I would say, “you know I really like you and would love to see where things could go with us but this hot and cold thing you’re bringing to the table isn’t working for me.”
Two relationships later(one with a sociopath, one with a narcissist)and the loss of my beloved father (which made me look at life and prioritizing the TRULY IMPORTANT people in my life) under a completely different light, i really have zero tolerance for this kind of shit. Be it another cluster B monster, or just an immature guy, who doesn't know what he wants and behaves like a 16-year-old, the first signs of hot and cold behaviour will place him in MY "trash compartment box". Directly and without further a do! I'm not even interested in what the reasons might be, but thanks for the informative video anyway. I enjoy watching your videos!
I am going through this now, hot and cold! I have brought it up with him, he said I am putting pressure on him. We only see each other a few times a year, he is a workaholic for sure and constantly coming up with excuses why he has no time, I just told him if you dont have time for me, what is it that you want with me? This is silly I am too old for this stuff, slowly backing away and learning to live with the disappointment. I am not pressing him for time or a relationship, he needs to figure it out, neither of us are young,,,just trying to live my best life and enjoy the years we have left.
Yes, I imagine temporary disappointment as you let go of something that isn’t truly working to make space for someone more aligned and ready to step up to the plate to meet you.
Yeah no slowly about backing away. You've has a talk with him and you've already had feedback. It's time to clear cut the ties. Slowly could take you weeks, months, even a year. Gotta make the break.
@@audra1976oliver I am cutting ties...I am not seeing him or talking to him, I have already expressed my disappointment with him several times, and gotten no where, so his loss:(
Hi ladies, I would like to encourage you to seek coaching with Clayton if this resonates with you. I finally loved myself enough to seek coaching with Clayton and no words can tell you the impact it has made in my life. Be ready to put the work in and you will come out a whole person!! May you all love yourself enough to want to evolve in self-love! Cindy
I complained to him about not texting me back within the same day , it only takes a minute to do so… he said he’s busy, this & that… then he still take a day later to text back Seems he’s not communicable..
10000% Clayton Just went through this and made the decision to let go and move on After 2 weeks I feel so much better❤️ It was not meant to move past that point
Ive been seeing someone since August and he's been consistent in contact and spending time together but hes hot and cold between wanting to be in a relationship and wanting to be friends. He took sex off the table then back on then back off again. Its been off the table for months now. He goes back forth from treating me like his girlfriend to just wanting to be friends. I went no contact this week and he didn't contact me either for the first time in 5 months and it lasted 3 days until he texted me asking if its ok for him to still talk to me. I know I shouldn't have responded and that I should cut all contact but it's been hard. Idk why he still wants to be in my life. I think he's scared and dealing with depression. Its really sad to watch. He's the nicest guy I've ever met and I would like to keep him in my life. But I know that's not recommended. It feels like a cosmic joke that I finally met a great guy but he's not ready. Fml.
My god please stay away! Go out more and make more friends so they can direct you to the right person. Go to new places and get to know more new people. It will direct you to a way better person! Don't put all your eggs in one basket as they rightly say!
My situation was similar. I finally got a hold of his phone and saw he was texting/calling other women and not me. He didn't even have my number saved in his contacts. So basically he just wants you to go away... So why not just do yourself a favor and find someone who likes you as much as you like him?
One of the most intelligent coaches I've come across on YT. Your words are impactful, and the way you discuss these concepts that I have already researched tirelessly gives me renewed understanding. Thank you so much for your content!
@@claytonolsoncoaching thank you for your reply! If you have any insight on avoidantly attached men and how to succeed in romantic relationships with them, I would really appreciate that. My current partner has been really slow to progress our budding relationship and I've been quite patient because I do love him as a person and as a match for me, it just is difficult to cope sometimes with his emotional withdrawals.
This really needs to be discussed with a partner with instances you're seeing. After a conversation, he should be able to let you know why he's being this way. If he doesn't know, explain to him what you don't want going on in a relationship. It could be you need to completely cut ties and get out of it. Someone on here said she'd slowly do that. I disagree. I think if it's truly not working and nothing is done about it, leave the sooner the better. Otherwise it's time wasting.
Dang I’m 27 lost a very good woman and I realized I had a hot and cold problem and this video explained it really well. I couldnt communicate I just let the frustration and my close minded intentions end it. Good to know for future use though thanks 🙏🏼
These men are just not ready to date. That is ok! however they should stop trying to get involved with women for sex, companionship etc. They should stay out of the dating pool until they figure out themselves and stop wasting their and a woman's time. If somebody starts being hot and cold without some kind of explanation ( mental health issue or a life crisis) he is not the one and although trying to make sense of the situation can be helpful, ultimately it does not matter because he is not the guy you are looking for , who cherishes you and feels lucky to have you!
Here is a free guide I created for you: The 5 Principles Of Creating Extraordinary Love > www.claytonolsoncoaching.com
I would say, “you know I really like you and would love to see where things could go with us but this hot and cold thing you’re bringing to the table isn’t working for me.”
Very nice
I just had to say that to a guy 🤷🏼♀️ It is what it is
Two relationships later(one with a sociopath, one with a narcissist)and the loss of my beloved father (which made me look at life and prioritizing the TRULY IMPORTANT people in my life) under a completely different light, i really have zero tolerance for this kind of shit. Be it another cluster B monster, or just an immature guy, who doesn't know what he wants and behaves like a 16-year-old, the first signs of hot and cold behaviour will place him in MY "trash compartment box". Directly and without further a do! I'm not even interested in what the reasons might be, but thanks for the informative video anyway. I enjoy watching your videos!
Thanks for sharing and you’re welcome.
I'm so with you!
I am going through this now, hot and cold! I have brought it up with him, he said I am putting pressure on him. We only see each other a few times a year, he is a workaholic for sure and constantly coming up with excuses why he has no time, I just told him if you dont have time for me, what is it that you want with me? This is silly I am too old for this stuff, slowly backing away and learning to live with the disappointment. I am not pressing him for time or a relationship, he needs to figure it out, neither of us are young,,,just trying to live my best life and enjoy the years we have left.
Yes, I imagine temporary disappointment as you let go of something that isn’t truly working to make space for someone more aligned and ready to step up to the plate to meet you.
You need to make the decision yourself and not leave it up to him. It's obvious he's not interested so move on and stop wasting your time
yes as I said ...slowly backing away, not trying to waste my time. Living my life and enjoying it!!!
Yeah no slowly about backing away. You've has a talk with him and you've already had feedback. It's time to clear cut the ties. Slowly could take you weeks, months, even a year. Gotta make the break.
@@audra1976oliver I am cutting ties...I am not seeing him or talking to him, I have already expressed my disappointment with him several times, and gotten no where, so his loss:(
Married 8 years and this video still applies. Thank you
Hi ladies, I would like to encourage you to seek coaching with Clayton if this resonates with you. I finally loved myself enough to seek coaching with Clayton and no words can tell you the impact it has made in my life. Be ready to put the work in and you will come out a whole person!! May you all love yourself enough to want to evolve in self-love!
Cindy
I complained to him about not texting me back within the same day , it only takes a minute to do so… he said he’s busy, this & that… then he still take a day later to text back
Seems he’s not communicable..
10000% Clayton
Just went through this and made the decision to let go and move on
After 2 weeks I feel so much better❤️
It was not meant to move past that point
Thank you for sharing this. It really helps.
Ive been seeing someone since August and he's been consistent in contact and spending time together but hes hot and cold between wanting to be in a relationship and wanting to be friends. He took sex off the table then back on then back off again. Its been off the table for months now. He goes back forth from treating me like his girlfriend to just wanting to be friends. I went no contact this week and he didn't contact me either for the first time in 5 months and it lasted 3 days until he texted me asking if its ok for him to still talk to me. I know I shouldn't have responded and that I should cut all contact but it's been hard. Idk why he still wants to be in my life. I think he's scared and dealing with depression. Its really sad to watch. He's the nicest guy I've ever met and I would like to keep him in my life. But I know that's not recommended. It feels like a cosmic joke that I finally met a great guy but he's not ready. Fml.
My god please stay away! Go out more and make more friends so they can direct you to the right person. Go to new places and get to know more new people. It will direct you to a way better person! Don't put all your eggs in one basket as they rightly say!
My situation was similar. I finally got a hold of his phone and saw he was texting/calling other women and not me. He didn't even have my number saved in his contacts. So basically he just wants you to go away... So why not just do yourself a favor and find someone who likes you as much as you like him?
One of the most intelligent coaches I've come across on YT. Your words are impactful, and the way you discuss these concepts that I have already researched tirelessly gives me renewed understanding. Thank you so much for your content!
Thank you. Let me know if you have suggestions you’d like me to riff on. 🙏
@@claytonolsoncoaching thank you for your reply! If you have any insight on avoidantly attached men and how to succeed in romantic relationships with them, I would really appreciate that.
My current partner has been really slow to progress our budding relationship and I've been quite patient because I do love him as a person and as a match for me, it just is difficult to cope sometimes with his emotional withdrawals.
@@naomig17 I am a recovering avoidant 😏 so I have a few things to say on that. Would be a great video.
@@claytonolsoncoaching Ahh I'm excited!!!
This really needs to be discussed with a partner with instances you're seeing. After a conversation, he should be able to let you know why he's being this way. If he doesn't know, explain to him what you don't want going on in a relationship. It could be you need to completely cut ties and get out of it. Someone on here said she'd slowly do that. I disagree. I think if it's truly not working and nothing is done about it, leave the sooner the better. Otherwise it's time wasting.
What do you do when you try to communicate your feelings and they respond defensively? I end up getting put down and blamed for his emotions.
Maybe just say goodbye to him m, who wants headache every other day😅
That’s one option
Wow.
Thanks for this.
I use to think he does it intentionally I never thought biology was in action 😤
My overthinking problem 😪
Dang I’m 27 lost a very good woman and I realized I had a hot and cold problem and this video explained it really well. I couldnt communicate I just let the frustration and my close minded intentions end it. Good to know for future use though thanks 🙏🏼
@@Healthmoneycris good awareness brother. 🙏
Thanks again, always insightful comments
So powerful and deep
The actions say enough though.
This is very very good!
These men are just not ready to date. That is ok! however they should stop trying to get involved with women for sex, companionship etc. They should stay out of the dating pool until they figure out themselves and stop wasting their and a woman's time. If somebody starts being hot and cold without some kind of explanation ( mental health issue or a life crisis) he is not the one and although trying to make sense of the situation can be helpful, ultimately it does not matter because he is not the guy you are looking for , who cherishes you and feels lucky to have you!
I complained to him, expressed my feelings… he just say I’m not being hot & cold..
seems he’s very defensive
great video
Thank you!
So it could be a few years! Ah!!
😃🤩😇🙏