She means as soon as we understand and accept the fates we felt destined to based on the dynamics of our families in childhood, the tight coils of the belief start to loosen, the more we explore and understand where those beliefs came from, the more they disintegrate and the more free we are to create our adult relationships to be the way we want them.
The last part of the video is amazing! I recently realized the same thing. I used to try to use willpower to overcome depression but this only made the symptoms worse. Now I have convinced myself that being depressed, even though it really sucks, is not a bad thing. Instead, it is an opportunity to grow, to get rid of some false beliefs. I made peace with the idea that I may be depressed for possibly a very long time, perhaps forever. This actually lifted a huge burden off my chest. I should be careful not to hold on to any progress I may make: don't be afraid to fall back again and again. Instead welcome depression. (while trying to increase/sustain physical health by eating healthy foods etc.)
Both my parents died when I was about 4yrs of age and I only saw their photo after the age of 30yrs. I spent my life with an aunty who hated me so much and did everything in her power to remind me of my parents deceased. I remember longing for my mothers love and care but never got this. My confidence plummeted and sometimes I even feared that I was going crazy. My marriage has suffered till date because of this inner conflict and am currently on a 3rd marriage and its having the same problems. This video has helped me much because I can publicly for the first time speak freely on this inner secret and promise myself to take active steps and open up to my wife on this secret aspect of who I really am. Thanks to you Teal Swan
That’s scary! A life of loneliness, isolation and lack of intimacy, closeness and connection is a hard fate to swallow, but it has been my reality since I was locked away in my room as a little girl and I have never been able to break out of the pattern and connect with others on a level of authenticity and intimacy. It’s my living hell.☹️
So true that's insane. I keep attracting the same type of guys like my dad: calm, caring, giving, sweet, good heart, responsible. However, it all ends because of the negative qualities I felt from my dad when I was a child: distant, insecure, lack of communication, very reserved, unable expressing emotions
same here. And I love these men so much. Then I try to change their "bad behavior"... make them see how life could be so much easier, how the relationship could work simply by communicating. I get lost clinging to the hope that ONE DAY they wake up and start expressing their feelings and opinions, start getting real. In this version of my beloved fantasy they enjoy every moment we share, even if life gets hard. Hopefully one day I'll be attracted to someone who is actually right for me. If this someone exists.
SAME!! Can't believe I'm reading in the comments what I just thought. Except my father was also abusive and is mean and I kept forgiving him and was good to him and my mother always found excuses for him, but I stopped putting up with it and stopped communicating with him entirely.
Wow..... Teal for the past 15 years of my life I have worked so hard to better myself. To expand my consciousness. To become the best version of 'me', but so so many times I have broken down, totally exhausted from the internal war I was constantly waging. The universe keeps on telling me to 'let go' and you have given me a new perspective on what the universe might be telling me - acknowledging and releasing that fear of what might inevitably be my fate and in doing so breaking the hold it has over me.... Thank you so much for your work. I came across one of your videos last night and have been sitting through a "ask Teal' marathon hehe. Hope you have a beautiful day :)
I can totally relate to you Amanda. I've struggled so much of becoming the "best version" of me, which has been challenging in many ways. Seeking healing modality after spiritual text book.. The process of letting go....like you said "breaking the hold it has over me" is so key here. What does life look like when you let go? Thank you for sharing this.
People who are hating on Teal, get in touch with your own guidance system and start living life from direct experience through intention! No one says you have to take what Teal says for a fact, if what she says makes sense to you and does benefit, enjoy! If not, move on! If you think you have something benefitial to add, proceed. Or make a response video on same level, make sure to do your best in it that it does goos not only to you but others including Teal. Lets get to different level of helping one another grow, not destroy.
I don't hate teal but she is deep so she's probably triggering loads of ppl. I understand her videos they make sense to me I resonate with them. If ppl don't like her videos don't watch them.
All I can say is when I did the exercise, did the comparison, then excepted my fate, I literally FELT a release...a single tear. I finally figured out that my guilt about my issues and how i treated my ex was making me neurotic. Thank you for your insight.
I am so happy to have discovered this video. Since the age of 15 I was trying to change, because quite early I understood that this is the only way to get control of my own life instead of playing a victim. I was reading a lot, volunteering, attending seminars, seeing a therapist, solo travelling, yoga, meditation, dancing, etc. I became an expert of my own inner landscape. I knew and accepted quite early that the other people are a mirror of my own reality. All I wanted is to heal, because this is the only way to have a healthy, rich relationship and to make my dreams to come true. Each time I encountered the thing called life I always ended up shaken to the very core. So I kept turning inwards, looking for the answers there. Which made me to retreat, to heal and get back in control of my own life. This is at least what I thought, that I can have a control over my life. But what I have noticed it is the same story over and over again. Each time it was different people, different places, in some ways different, stronger, more aware me, but the same story. And actually few days ago I started to think about fate, especially yesterday. It does exist. It really DOES. I had a thought, that instead of living it, I was trying to control it to avoid pain, which found me many times anyway. And I made a decision to allow that meant to be journey to unfold. And accidentally I found this video. 🙂
My mind has been completely BLOWN! Your message was life changing for me! I’ve never been so emotionally connected to the memories your words connected me to. I’ve been on a journey for close to 4 years to understand me and my abusive relationship. The realization is almost too painful to allow myself to fully engage with. Thank you SO much for sharing your knowledge and wisdom with us!!! WOW❤️
Damn, Teal, you rock. This is everything I've been dealing with lately, for the past few years actually, and it's so interesting to have it laid out. I'm actually revisiting an old relationship after having looked at my patterns and realizing the reality of my parents and my childhood. This relationship might be self sabotage but it feels so inevitable I'm slowly giving in. Thanks for this. Very reassuring on a night I needed reassurance. You rock. Thanks for not being afraid of the dark and being willing to shine light on the shadows.
Teal, you are changing my way of thinking in such a drastic way that I do know who I'll become. I just know that I LOVE this transformation within myself .
Not just me, everyone else is too, including you. You are exactly where you need to be feeling exactly the way you should be. Know exactly as much you need to and have exactly as much capacity to know as you should.
This talk really clicks with me. I've watched the way this works, but never to this depth. Teal is very sharp and I'm grateful for the Spiritual Catalyst!
I realized recently that the men I've fallen in love with are exactly like my mother. Cold, unavailable, unemotional, and I always end up feeling abandoned. My father was very warm and loving compared to her, I felt safe with him not her. It's driving me crazy that I recognize it but can't seem to heal it, just keeps popping up :/
What you touched on here is ground breaking for me. I have had much difficulty with the positive thought path. I can see by accepting my fate, I recognize and nurture myself with positive thoughts for me in my future. I will read that book. I want to know more!
This concise presentation very clearly illustrates one of the most complex aspects of the human personality. Human sexuality cries out for fulfillment, but is rarely satisfied. Thank you, Teal, for your educational efforts to help other humans to truly heal from out of the depths of their inner selves, in order to see the light of day, after visiting the heart of darkness!
There are some commenters here who are apparently very frightened of facing simple truths, but it all makes sense. The title of the video will probably make some people squirmy, but I hope that they click play and watch it, since the topic is essentially about self-honesty, self-awareness, and healing from and overcoming one's own thought patterns.
Teal explaines the Oedipus Complex and it´s influence on our dayly relationships (not only on our lifepartners) fine, but her tip how to handle this emotional constellation is so sophisticated as surprising: "Use Your awareness"! Thank You so much, this could be the solution or a way to. I´m going to try it immediately ..
OMFG OMGF OMFG. My perspective on my childhood is ALL THAT MATTERS! It doesn’t even matter if it’s true. It’s MY perspective and that’s all that matters. You. Just. Blew. My. Mind! This is why I ❤️❤️❤️ your videos Teal Swan. You expand my consciousness and understanding of myself so much. Thank you!!! Thank you for taking the time to make these videos!!! I am on a journey of healing. Still in the beginning stages but have been following your teachings and you’ve helped me advance so much!! This just blew my mind. Again!!
Also just realized the person I’m with deeply reflects the relationship I had with both my mom and Dad. And in totally different ways. Soooo crazy. And I have NEVER been so attracted to anyone I’ve ever dated.
When I was a little boy, Freud's name came up while my parents were giving me a bath. I asked why Freud was famous. "Well," I was told, "Freud invented the Oedipal Complex." "What's that?" I asked. "Well, Freud would say that you love mommy, and that you would like to get rid of daddy so that you can have mommy all to yourself." I felt great shame, and I hated that rat Freud. But I knew he was right.
Thank you So much Teal. Your contributions to this planet are so impactful. I've reached points in this work where my inner child is just thrashing inside my body. I randomly went and revisited my child hood home and parented him there. This parenting of our inner children and healing of sexual cycles of abuse and masochism/sadism are so important right now. Thank you for getting so many of us on the right path of manifesting positive outcomes for ourselves and this world at large.
Why are you holding onto this person? You cannot change someone unless they are willing to change themselves. We get comfortable in a relationship and hold on, but when things aren't right we either second guess ourselves or find another reason to stay. I fell into this pattern and wanted so much to change and get answers..this person was just like my abusive dad. This pattern repeated until I was almost mentally destroyed. Do what's best for you and don't be afraid to move on or be alone.
I really wish to express my feelings of gratitude to you Teal for the experiences and teachings you have given out to the world as a whole. On a more personal note, you have allowed for me to see and understand my reality and what goes on within it and I feel liberated bit by bit through my healing, and that's something in which I have no words to express how liberating it feels. Your teachings are so powerful and eye opening and I Thank You so much for enduring everything and being able to be where you are and to be able to teach the rest of us and allow us to grow. Thank you for everything
SloveintzWend My dad? I have a hard time seeing that. I totally adore both of my parents, although I slightly prefer my mother. Maybe my sister, though
I think sometimes people like both sexes simply because they do. Theres so many ways to live on this planet. Not everything that deviates from the norm has to come from some negative thing or trauma. I am bi and its basically For me, its about the individual person and not their gender or sex. So the love of my life could come in many forms! I dont limit my attraction because its just how I feel!
Dear Teal, Thank you for your courage in taking on one of the most "hot button" topics. Even these many years after Freud and Reich, we are very behind in being conscious and responsible of how we replay our unconscious oedipal patterns, especially in our closest intimacies. Did you know that Adi Da devoted an entire book to the "oedipal consideration", called "The Treasures Consideration"? Love, Theo
This is a really clarifying and insightful video and an essential way of seeing myself and this paradox that once I accept my fate and make peace with it, I transcend it.
SUMMARY - Oedipus Complex (Relationships and Fate) - Teal Swan When we were made guilty for sexual desires we had we became at war with ourselves disre vs. guilt this creates neurosis you have a romantic relationship with your opposite sex parent and play out the painful dynamics that were present between you oedipus comblex is the subconscious desire to unify with the parent of the opposite sex including the subconscious rivalary with the parent of the same sex if you didnt get the love you wanted you attract partners with the same treatment to create a different positive outcome than what you experienced we play out the dynamics with partners as we did with the opposite sex parent until we look at these shadows we subconsciously seek these patterns to heal from them you suppressed the sexual desire for the mother and the rivalry for the opposite sex parent because your psyche could not deal with it you can not progress towards healing until the pattern is recognized, the original pain is revisited and that part of you is fully accepted as a child you cannot conceptualize that the parent that causes you pleasure also causees you pain because of this we split the idea of our parent in two we have a relationship with two different parents within one body that means you have a relationship with the good parent of the opposite sex and a relationship with the bad parent of the realtionship this is a coping strategy you are attracted by qualities of the good parent and as the realtionship progresses you discover personality traits of the bad parent you start acting against your partner the suppressed emotions you had against the bad parent if you want to recognize your neurotic patterns and change them it is essential to take a serious look at how you play out your childhood dynamic with your parents now in your adulthood your entire future that you're living right now is the result over your perspective have your childhood What was your perspective of the dynamic in your household going up? what's your perspective of your relationship with your father? what's your perspective is your relationship with your mother your? Are there any patterns you noticed in your family? Its important to write those down Do you notice a correlation between the patterns of your childhood and the patterns of your current relationship? Write down a list of good traits that your opposite sex parent has Write down a list of bad character traits compare the first list s to people you are attracted to the second with long term realtionships the feelings towards your bad parent might be so strongly suppressed that you can feel them only towards your partner become aware of these patterns and start a project whether you act out these patterns of your early childhood you create the very fate you are trying to avoid according to the law of attraction (whatever you resist persists) what we suppress becomes part of our personality and our character you cant deny the problem which is part of your character you cant find healing by turning against character traits try to overcome the problem that's part of one's personality is to turn part of yourself against another part of yourself is to wage in internal war it is to commit ourselves by our thoughts words and actions to the very fate we are trying so desperately to avoid this is the heart neurosis the defense is that we mad to protect us create very condition we're trying to avoid if your problems are very ingrained in your personality, you cannot create what you want to create, because no part of you can ever belief that this is possible in this case you act counter-intuitive by accepting your fate you cant avoid instead of trying to create what you want to create we release resistance by accepting our fate by accepting that what we think is going to happen is going to happen find thoughts that feel better about that impending fate which is inevitable you can never try to overcome a problem that is part of your personality you cant overcome a part of yourself, you cant fight yourself eg. if you personally identfy with suffering you try desperateley to be happy pulling against the truth is integral part of my being that I will suffer for the rest of my life then I will suffer for the rest of my life I'm trying to avoid it and by avoiding I am going to create the very fate I'm trying to avoid the remedy is to find thoughts to think, things to do, things to say that will genuinely make me feel ok about the idea that I am going to suffer for the rest of my life this is not lying to yourself you cant tell your things that you dont believe it must be thoughts that genuinely make you feel better about that fate you have to be honest if your problems have become an inegral part of your personality ---> book: fear of life - alexander lowen most people pull in the opposite direction of their fate (subconsciously) Most people dont acknowledge what they actually think is true: that they dont create their own reality they lie to themselves that they create their own reality I'm asking you to step into self-awareness to look at your patterns directly in the face and to look at the feet wish you are convinced you're going to line up with even if you may want to tell yourself otherwise if there are aspects of you that believe in a certain fate release resistance that fate by becoming okay with it happening I promise you the second you do this those coils that are wrapped tightly around you will loosen and then you are free Thanks Teal
Once self-aware.. we stop blaming our past, and the people in it. We can Choose to be different at any time. But the story creates attention, and excitement whether neg or pos. I choose to let go of the parts of my past that were not uplifting emotionally, & create the future the way I choose it to be right NOW. My Presence Now is the Power.. not the past... unless I make it so by repeating it constantly... I choose forgiveness, Love, & Joy Now... and move on..... feeling my peace, & freedom.. Peace & Love
Thank you Teal this was BRILLIANT! Thank you :) It took a long time to recognize and id that the O Complex was the issue. Is the issue. They were patterns and resistance to such extents that never added up until their were just hints or that I'm now old enough to have 'figured it out.' Indeed it is about accepting ones fate, instead of resisting. It does take a load of pressure off. Instead of always running around to find ways of avoidance. That is madness! Thank you for helping me to find acceptance :) Thank you for this blessing and deeper understanding to a very complex COMPLEX. ;)
Driven by Desire, Plagued by Guilt. Some cross the line beyond the point of no return in a battle with one's self through those dark nights of the soul. Others find self acceptance by feeding the beast of various insatiable appetite towards destruction. Forgiveness in all its shapes and forms is the pathway out of delusion. A way to alter places of deception, ultimately leading ones self to finding Peace beneath the Bodhi tree; releasing the stranglehold of the coil. Namaste ~xMx~Lodi
I'm straight up with myself on the Oedipus Complex. I've never judged myself for this. The mother gives the template for how I have interacted with the feminine in general, so I have done much introspection my relationship with my mother so I can experience a positive, relationship with a 'g/f/'. Simultaneously, I must be unattached to being in a loving relationship--meaning, coming to the full realization, if even for a brief moment, that I am all the love I need. My mate is the reflection.
Thank you Teal for sharing on this fkd up topic! Just the thought of the word Oedipus flares a very negative taste on human souls at a profound deep level, uh I wonder why;). I was open to doing the excise and hearing what you had to say. While being fully present my openness took me on a journey to the truth of what naturally happens as kidos. Coming out of the process being fully present brought greater awareness, joy, and, peace. I'm huge believer on forgiveness and yet this excise has liberated my soul and shifted my being for forever. "The truth will set you free and it sure does!!" Much appreciation Teal for getting down to the nitty gritty TRUTH!!!
Relationships cause the most suffering. In the eyes of others, we exist as a stable entity. We cling to the idea/s of ourselves which we see as providing us with the best means for receiving validation from others. However, psychologically we are changing constantly. This is what results in conflicts. These conflicts then cause neurosis, and in turn potentially mild-severe mental illnesses. It is vitally important to practice self-observation and understand the mechanics of our psyches.
Thank you thank you thank you thank you Teal!!!!!!!!! Resisting what is my fate has kept me at war for the 56 years I have been on this planet! Much much much love for this one! The very best to you, and now to me!!!!!
i am one who truly does not remember my father as my first love. i feard him too much. and dont remember ever feeling in compitition with my mother. but i am not a psychiatrist or psychologist. so i dont even know for sure if this is all bull shit or not but i give Teal the benefit of the doubt. she is brilliant to me. i will have to watch this again to even nail how i feel. i feel my life is affected by negative patterns. weird to connect it to my dad. i bloked him out of my life and i did not care when he died. i'll have to watch this again.
My father would not prefer himself to be compared to those African men I used to meet, one is my daughter's father. I had a dream abut global friendship and unity but that dream was not very successful and I was left alone. But actually the father of my daughter is like my father: creative, absent, cool and materialistic, but also very charm . I felt so familiar with my daughters father even he was from far away and from a different culture, that I felt that he is a relative already! Besides of that he mirrored some aspects of myself so much! And now my father is almost the best friend of my daughter… maybe because he sees himself in her. I've experienced in my life, that always meet men with very strict religious childhood backgrounds. Yes, most of my boyfriends had been muslims. But I have not seen any difference between them and me and between their family and my family. So strict, as dependent structures - all is the same, same same. Nothing different. Only the culture, the name of the religion. No difference in humanity indeed. It is so funny, though, that my grand mom, the mother of my father, was so rebellious in her time. She lived as a young women in my country Finland just when we had got our independency from Russia. She was actually born when our country was under Russian, in 1908. Finland got its independency in 1917. She told me how she has met russian soldiers, Cossaks, on her way home on the road. It was those times. My grandmother's mother had died and she got a stepmother. Nothing to complain about it. I have not heard any complaining about it. My grandmother was about 18 and her father was keeping a guesthouse, where my grand mom was working as a servant. But then in that small village came a person who taught bookkeeping. My grandmother was interested in that and took the course. Then she also applied a workplace in another city. Because she was afraid to tell about it to her family, one sunday when everyone else went to the church, she did not. She stayed at home, wrote the note that she has left to work to another city as a bookkeeper and left her home. Everything turned to be well: her father was not angry at her, but provided her postgraduate studies in the University in the middle of Finland and so she got good education for herself in the beginning of 1900's. After all, she was working in the bank for more than 30 years and as a wife of a farmer, who went to the war against russians in 1039 - 1945. During that time she was an employee in the bank and the mother of 5 children and run the farmer of hs husband who was in the war. In that war most of the soldiers were not older than 18 years old. Both from Finnish and Russian side. How discusting it has been! So actually my history is very exotic. Both my grandfathers faught against Russians and my country still remained it's independency. So many young people were killed in that war - I can understand American experiences n their many wars around the world. So, the father of my father has been absent. He was i the war. My father was absent because he was working. He is creative but was always working and that what I got as boyfriends. But actually I like working, too! I would hate the idea of a man, who does not work. The father of my daughter loves his work, he was good in it. What I've experienced is, that I have so rooted connections with my family, that is rare in modern society, that I meet people from cultures who have same values - but not the same religion! When I was in Africa with my young daughter one man said to me: "I've never heard any European talk about her family so much as you do!" Even my parents do not know, they matter to me. I've been educated as I was living in the muslim society even I am totally Christian - or rather so called New Age. I've tried to escape it, but it is always there. What I attract, are always form islamic background. The latest version of my soulmate - and he really was a soulmate - was from Bangladesh. But he lived in Paris, he had a French citizenship and an European passport and I met him in the National Museum in Helsinki. What a great day. I was there because I had a seminar there considering of my work and he was there because the s´weather was cold and he though that that place is the church Accidentally I lost my workmate after the seminar and I was hanging a ring in the museum when this totally handsome man that I'd recognized before, came to me and asked me to take a pickture of him in front of the throne Alexander the 1St, who gave the autonomy to Finland in 1880-century. And it was funny, because I was doing the project that was involved with the history with Alexander the 1st. (n Berlin where live now, the place Alexanderplatz is also name according to that emperor.) I love him forever, even everything turned to be impossible, I admire his curiosity, his sense of humor, his imagination, his kindness, his willingness to help, his good and healthy lifestyle, his honesty. He was s lively! He wanted to dance! He was very interested to sand´ce, he wanted to learn how to dance salsa! He is such a curious person about life - and he is from a muslim family. But what he told about his parents, I could not find bad. I felt they they are the most honest, lovable and sincere parents that can be on this earth. I felt that they are as mine There was no difference. This man was so kind, that there is no doubt that his parents are good. They are just victims of their society. So, We learned how to dance walz and salsa, together. The man, who was from the culture where men and women can not shake hands. He wanted to learn and was curious about dancing. He was curious about every aspect of life. He was a wonderful person. He wanted to know, He asked questions. He was (is) a wonderful man. And we had to give up because of the religion and what parents think. Not my parents - his. And his parents did not get even a possibility to say anything, because this man was so afraid of his parent's actions. Whatever. I am happy that I have had a possibility to see beyond religions and I have had connections to people form whatever culture. Anyhow it it interesting, that the persons who have most impacted me are the persons, who's individuality had been put down by their relatives - as I have my in my own experience. I've met men who deeply resonate with me but who have same problems with me: living according to their own standards than to their parent's standards. I am originally christian, but these fellows I've met tell me, that we all are so same, so same, that it is just amazing. I still consider myself as a Christian. I respect my roots I am that kind of person. But I do not close my eyes from other ideologies. From these experiences Ive created a vey open minded character, not sticked to any religion. Especially with muslims I feel a very deep connection because I feel that I've experienced the same in my childhood. Not that I want to be part of it but I feel so much compassion because I've experienced the same. What the hell I try t avoid or escape? My life is so multicultural even i do not move my ass any cent - so what is the fact? 'de like to be normal. But I am aways different.I do not see the velour of the skin or so. Ys, I must adnut that there are some pitfalls: i am very suspicious about russians. It is jus because of our history and experiences. But: I have had russian friend, too. Actally I'm a very international person, curious (as my unforgettable boyfriend from Paris (originally from Bangladesh) and innocent. I care humanity and that's it. Then I get surprises and get disappointed. I've been so enthusiastic of different cultures on the earth and how disappointed I've been to seen, how difficult it all is. I remember my times in Africa. Africa is something that really brings you perspective. I assume. India is the same. I just have not been there.
Whoa that was deep. I can honestly say I cannot say a bad thing about my parents. I will need to explore my relationship patterns and see what I come up with. Thank you for another incredibly Powerful message!
As counter-intuitive as it may seem, it makes sense. Example: I'm a fighter, I grew up in an abusive home with a bi-polar father. I've since became empowered, and defensive. In a violent situation I have no problem defending my wife, friends, or even my boss, physically. I've lately joined a spiritualist group and I'm kinda found my own place. Once upon a time my teacher once came into my backyard and saw me still training. (The group practices pacifism) he said at the beginning he was let down, but after weeks of talking he realized that it's part of who I am, I struggle with the non-aggression principle that he teaches. After a while of fighting that part of myself, excuse the pun, he said, "It's okay. I should love myself anyway, that it's part of who I am, it's never going to change, unless I lose part of myself." Which is against his teaching. So I've since accepted that when things get ugly, I'm going to want to jump in and defend my own. Now I feel much better about myself.
Since I've accepted my fate, my teacher works with two others like myself. He teaches us the principles of spiritualism and I teach self-defense. We've even defended our brothers and sisters when they came under attack from a group those that don't believe us.
So what we are all at the mercy of our fate that is ultimately based on the dynamic we had with our parents? And there is no way for us to change and meet people with different qualities that we actually prefer? She didn't really explain HOW we can break free of our oedipus fate and create the fate we really want.
Whoever Teal is She is a pure power. Teal is a clap of thunder who brings a jolt to the sky. She is a wonderful wake-up call and admits laugh the chaos. Eyes once closed will now see. Outer circumstances will be seen in a new light. New answers and new solutions will appear before you. Or perhaps they were there all along?
I've done the work, become aware, and released this pattern. I don't have it in my life as much as it used to, and I am aware of those traits my father had in men I date now. Awareness of unconscious patterns is key!
My past couple of relationships are very much a mix of my Father and Brother. As a child I was very close with my brother and as he got older he shut me out and treated me like the annoying little sister who embarrassed him. I tend to attract guys that start with a close bond then BAMMM they cut me off. I am very comfortable dating guys with traits shared with my Dad and Brother but attracting guys who abandon me without a care is the real issue I deal with....
I feel so upset but very relieved because for the first time I am allowed to suffer. I’ve never felt true happiness and when I try I feel even more depressed.
Teal, thank you so much for sharing your profound knowledge and insights into the human psyche and condition. Your ability to communicate such complex matters is nothing short of astonishing and highly admirable. I believe that there is not another person on planet Earth that understands the intrecacy of this subject like you do. You're an absolute living legend!! ❤❤
My God!!! What an attractive woman you are Teal Scott!! I am one who has been on the Spiritual Path for the last 26 years. I find that, due to your great physical attraction as a female, I can look directly into your eyes during your video and discover that you speak Truth, despite how devastatingly beautiful that you are. This gives me hope, as I have walked quite a divergent road on the Path. Thank you SO much for your life, and for choosing such GREAT personal beauty for this incarnation.......it has helped me clarify where I am on the Path, and celebrates the feminine half of humanity!!!
I'm a newcomer to Teal's videos and so far so good... Up until this one. This one hurts. I can't stand either of my parents and I have some very strong opinions about them both. In reflection my ex at the end of my relationship with him was just as lazy, useless, selfish and incredibly entitled just like daddy 'dearest' when I was growing up (and now even). FFS I've got a lot of work to do. 0_0 Thanks Teal, I suppose.
I absolutely LOVE you, Teal! Thank you from the depths of my heart, for your kindness! You are a beautiful creation and the waves are far-reaching! -Chanel B.
Teal message makes a lot of sense....It is vital fir us to become thruthful about our real self, our believes, our fate. There is only one person that is allowed to teach us and liberate pur fate. We, as humans are complex beings, whom have hidden agendas. Fear can rob us from comfronting the very essence of our lives. We must be real. We must be truthful to ourselves. No more hiding. No more stories. We are prone to make mistakes and grow from them and hopefully move on. We must expand in order to achieve the best of each chapter of our lives.
I understand about it being hopeless and problems seemingly ingrained but when I practice Ekhart tolles /Moojis and others like them I can overcome because it is usually a belief in the thoughts good or bad that is the issue, developing a witnessing presence toward my reality has been the most helpful thing I have found. Thank s for the video
You shed light on love and wellbeing so eloquently. thank you for sharing your knowledge and helping to wake me up and remember these things that feel so deeply inherent within. it raises my vibration listening to you, thank you and mahalo
I have listened to many of Teal's videos, and others such as Bashar, and Abraham, etc.. and this video left me feeling drained.. I felt all my energy drop. And I am a very intuitive..and in touch with my feelings. I don't care for the message this video puts out, or the energy in the message it carries.. maybe it appealed to Teal because of her abused childhood. For myself.. I forgave my parent's ignorance realizing they did the best they could, or they would have been different. And I take responsibility for myself as an adult, and love myself, and my inner child..and I am the parent to myself now, I didn't have.. and that is being responsible for my life now awakened. I can honestly say I love my parents, dad is deceased, and mom and I have an amazing relationship now.. it wasn't that way in the past.. But..I chose deliberately to shift my reality from what was, to a higher perspective of "seeing" from a loving, understanding, forgiving, compassionate place.. and as I changed (healed) I transcended my past. And as I did this my relationship with my parents changed, because I CHANGED. We can only change ourself.. and when we change to Love, we transcend what was in the Past Memories, and update these old Beliefs to different, better, or new Beliefs, and live from these states with Being Present NOW. (and its not denying what was, its letting go of what was thru forgiveness, and understanding) And in this process we are not bringing this old past stuff, into our now moment, because that only keeps us stuck, with creating our future Reality with the same old stuff... Instead we are living in the Now Present Moment, where everything is new.. And the first symptom of knowing we've shifted realities (parallel, or otherwise) is how we FEEL.. we feel Inner Peace, and JOY.. which is an Effect of Unconditional Love, and Goodness (Godness), with being in alignment with our mind-body, and Spirit, as ONE Connected. Now I feel uplifted and my energy is flowing from a Higher level, after writing this, and sharing this with you guys.. Peace and Love, :) Tommy
I like her but there is some videos that instead of help me they open scars that were already healed because i always blamed my parents for my life i am the captain in this boat now is going to be a pleasure to stay above the water.
***** I understand what your saying.. and I still believe this video is mis-leading, that is my personal experience... and you are free to label it ego, intuition, or whatever you choose... & we all perceive from what we understand and feel intellectually and from a place of alignment with our Higher Self. I prefer to focus on Joy, Love, and uplifting feelings, and move out of the past.. and let it go with forgiveness, This creates freedom for me..and is my personal choice.. peace, and love.. :) Tommy
+redy2meet As a person with Mercury in Pisces, I agree. I really hate also when people say "this video is just to think about". But the tone ends in telling me, how to think and how doomed I am If I don't follow the Oedipus Complex. Coils, lol. Nobody constantly abandons me, I'm just a person of strict moral. Internal wars and all this and that. Mind games, the Universe wouldn't hide this from people till the Aquarian Age. Finally?!?
What you resist will persist. If you stop resisting then there will be room for change. If you accept and no longer resist being alone its not giving up and it doesn't create a future for you where you will actually be alone. Don't let fear hold you back from finding true freedom.
So I suffer from this. My father sheltered me, was overprotective but emotionally and sometimes physically abusive as well. My first relationship which is my ex happened to be clingy, somewhat possessive, over-bearing, invasive, very controlling, manipulative, and very offensive and defensive all at the same time. When I couldn't handle it, I left him.(he was pushy and insensitive when I was intimate with him) It was a short relationship, but I had gotten super close to him, the man I had gotten the most intimate with in my life. When it was good, it was really good, and when it was bad it shattered me emotionally. It's been two months since then. I'm still not over him. I look back and think why would I like a guy that treats me that shitty? Since then, there has been attractive, super nice guys that treat me better but the only guy I want is him. Has anyone experienced this and how do you break out of this cycle? I feel like I'll always be attracted to possessive jerks due to my past. I love men that can keep me on my feet, excite me and challenge me but I realize how pathetic and horrible this is. I truly want to change.
+Mystical Chaos I always get in to needy relationships. My father is super super needy. He cant be alone a minute. He makes everyone responsible for his emotions. You have to "carry" him, take care of him, and his emotions. Because he cant take care of them himself. He needs me. And that makes me; appreciated.. (In my head I believe that this is appreciation). BUT: He does not truly appreciate me. How I know this? If I was of no "use" to him. He would not see me. This makes me addicted. Not to loose him, I need to keep him addicted to me. He needs to need me. Because I am afraid of being left. Abandonment. Which (in my head) means that Im probably worthless. In other words = I need him. (as well). (Not to feel completely worthless). I seem to get into this kind of relationships. The key is to get super stable. Become really balanced and find the WORTH inside of you - love yourself. That way no one - and I mean no one - can tell you if you are worthless or not. Do you believe? That you are a person that is truly lovable? And do you deserve happiness, love and being truly appreciated - without having to "do", or "take care" of anything. Are you -what you achieve- meaning; you only deserve love when you have done something "good". Or do you deserve love - no matter accomplishment abilities. Love yourself :) It is easy getting trapped in this - when you have a hole to fill. You want someone to fill the empty inside (hens the addiction). I am here to set you free: You -alone- can fill this hole. - Do it! :) You need no man. Especially not a bad one -that you dumped for a reason-. Believe in yourself. I believe you did the right choice :)
@Mystical Chaos honey the truth is he is either sadistic and gets off on hurting you emotionally, or he simply doesn't care about you. Move on. You've already made the hardest step. Each one gets easier. Move on.
To be honest I do not think I ever thought of my parents behaviour towards me as having any effect with my relationship. I am too much one with myself. A woman would have to be secure with her self in order to be with me.
Genius!! Absolutely genius Teal!! Thank you for these healing videos and for the book recommendation; I paused the video and bought it right then. Love and light to you and your troops!!
I have been dealing with a seriously destructive NPD who uses equally destructive flying monkeys, and this seems to be the most excellent video I've ever seen directed towards a person with deeply embedded issues. Good job, Teal Swan.
I practise True Light, which is purifying energy radiated from the hand. On Sunday this girl received Light from me and afterwards said she felt like she knew me from a past life. The experience shook me up. It was nice, but I felt like crying after.
brilliant! thx Teal...you are such a blessing and a great help for me! greetings from Basel/Switzerland...what a pitty that I missed your workshop here!
My father died when I was three years old. I don't remember him at all. As an adult I was engaged to a man who got sick and he died 3 years after he got his diagnosis of MS. I remember how his eyes looked hollow just as my father's eyes looked in the pictures I have of him that were taken months before he died. F*ck the Oedipus complex. If I'm fated to be alone for the rest of my life then fine, but did it really have to be that depressing and dramatic?
My therapy study is in the UK and teal Swan is right. Big pharma resolutions are repressive healing Inner child work. Cutting cords with your parents values to by yourself. I like journal and being open to new shifts
I have been trying to escape these patterns for the past 10 years but now I see that this is only causing more frustration I will work on accepting my situation...thnxs for the vid :-)
I'm so happy I found this. Than mmm you so much. I'm in my early 30s and I have become more aware of my tendencies and myself from my late 20s, and I honestly believe that the moment one begins to accept their self as they know they are, it will become easier to truly life a satisfying life, however satisfying is defined to the individual. Know thyself, stop the war on self because of outward perceptions.
She means as soon as we understand and accept the fates we felt destined to based on the dynamics of our families in childhood, the tight coils of the belief start to loosen, the more we explore and understand where those beliefs came from, the more they disintegrate and the more free we are to create our adult relationships to be the way we want them.
where would i even be in my life without this woman. clueless, that’s what
SAAAAMMEEEE
Yes she saved me in my darkest times
Fact's!!
Lmaooo can relate
LITERALLY SAME
The last part of the video is amazing! I recently realized the same thing. I used to try to use willpower to overcome depression but this only made the symptoms worse. Now I have convinced myself that being depressed, even though it really sucks, is not a bad thing. Instead, it is an opportunity to grow, to get rid of some false beliefs. I made peace with the idea that I may be depressed for possibly a very long time, perhaps forever. This actually lifted a huge burden off my chest. I should be careful not to hold on to any progress I may make: don't be afraid to fall back again and again. Instead welcome depression. (while trying to increase/sustain physical health by eating healthy foods etc.)
Thank you for sharing your story…
If you convince yourself you conned yourself
How are you 9 years later..? Bulldozing just creates a pendulum swing back I've found too. Trying to run away from it is the real issue of depression
Both my parents died when I was about 4yrs of age and I only saw their photo after the age of 30yrs. I spent my life with an aunty who hated me so much and did everything in her power to remind me of my parents deceased. I remember longing for my mothers love and care but never got this. My confidence plummeted and sometimes I even feared that I was going crazy. My marriage has suffered till date because of this inner conflict and am currently on a 3rd marriage and its having the same problems. This video has helped me much because I can publicly for the first time speak freely on this inner secret and promise myself to take active steps and open up to my wife on this secret aspect of who I really am. Thanks to you Teal Swan
sorry to hear about your pain. I'm glad you're able to take the steps towards healing. wish you love and all the best...
Victor you are awesome, thank you for having courage to share
Thanks for sharing Victor. Are you a Nigerian?
Sounded like Harry Potter at the start of ur story...
You're not alone.
That’s scary! A life of loneliness, isolation and lack of intimacy, closeness and connection is a hard fate to swallow, but it has been my reality since I was locked away in my room as a little girl and I have never been able to break out of the pattern and connect with others on a level of authenticity and intimacy. It’s my living hell.☹️
I'm so sorry this happened 🖤
I see you
I feel you🩷
So true that's insane. I keep attracting the same type of guys like my dad: calm, caring, giving, sweet, good heart, responsible. However, it all ends because of the negative qualities I felt from my dad when I was a child: distant, insecure, lack of communication, very reserved, unable expressing emotions
Pinakkolada OMG you are describing my father!
Same here! I think this is a very common archetype.
Are you talking about me ?
same here. And I love these men so much. Then I try to change their "bad behavior"... make them see how life could be so much easier, how the relationship could work simply by communicating. I get lost clinging to the hope that ONE DAY they wake up and start expressing their feelings and opinions, start getting real. In this version of my beloved fantasy they enjoy every moment we share, even if life gets hard.
Hopefully one day I'll be attracted to someone who is actually right for me. If this someone exists.
SAME!! Can't believe I'm reading in the comments what I just thought. Except my father was also abusive and is mean and I kept forgiving him and was good to him and my mother always found excuses for him, but I stopped putting up with it and stopped communicating with him entirely.
Wow..... Teal for the past 15 years of my life I have worked so hard to better myself. To expand my consciousness. To become the best version of 'me', but so so many times I have broken down, totally exhausted from the internal war I was constantly waging. The universe keeps on telling me to 'let go' and you have given me a new perspective on what the universe might be telling me - acknowledging and releasing that fear of what might inevitably be my fate and in doing so breaking the hold it has over me.... Thank you so much for your work. I came across one of your videos last night and have been sitting through a "ask Teal' marathon hehe. Hope you have a beautiful day :)
I can totally relate to you Amanda. I've struggled so much of becoming the "best version" of me, which has been challenging in many ways. Seeking healing modality after spiritual text book.. The process of letting go....like you said "breaking the hold it has over me" is so key here. What does life look like when you let go? Thank you for sharing this.
People who are hating on Teal, get in touch with your own guidance system and start living life from direct experience through intention! No one says you have to take what Teal says for a fact, if what she says makes sense to you and does benefit, enjoy! If not, move on! If you think you have something benefitial to add, proceed. Or make a response video on same level, make sure to do your best in it that it does goos not only to you but others including Teal. Lets get to different level of helping one another grow, not destroy.
+Matt Clark I did the same and one year later I'm back here because she pretty much summed up my life in this video. It's sad but true.
Thats your interpretation.... I shared mine... and its all good :)
you so right 😇😇
I don't hate teal but she is deep so she's probably triggering loads of ppl. I understand her videos they make sense to me I resonate with them. If ppl don't like her videos don't watch them.
It could all be so simple hey?! Lol, love ya for speaking on it, the hate and ignorance gets old.
All I can say is when I did the exercise, did the comparison, then excepted my fate, I literally FELT a release...a single tear. I finally figured out that my guilt about my issues and how i treated my ex was making me neurotic. Thank you for your insight.
who's smoking in the background?
It’s my vape materialized through the screen
Peter Brennan lol
Just saw your comment... How fitting!!!!!
😆😆
She could be burning sage or incense.
ugh.. i understood but then got confused, then understood then got confused again. now i don't know..
mine sübiler same haha
mine sübiler Me too. What would make suffering ok?
same hahaha
Try to figure out the what. Acceptance breeds change. Perception is reality. Hope that helps.
The Oedipus Complex is easy to understand. It means you want to "marry" your parent of choice, and lock that thang down
My father passed when I was a baby. Since then all my partners have been distant, either physically (long distance relationships) or emotionally
I am so happy to have discovered this video. Since the age of 15 I was trying to change, because quite early I understood that this is the only way to get control of my own life instead of playing a victim. I was reading a lot, volunteering, attending seminars, seeing a therapist, solo travelling, yoga, meditation, dancing, etc. I became an expert of my own inner landscape. I knew and accepted quite early that the other people are a mirror of my own reality. All I wanted is to heal, because this is the only way to have a healthy, rich relationship and to make my dreams to come true. Each time I encountered the thing called life I always ended up shaken to the very core. So I kept turning inwards, looking for the answers there. Which made me to retreat, to heal and get back in control of my own life. This is at least what I thought, that I can have a control over my life. But what I have noticed it is the same story over and over again. Each time it was different people, different places, in some ways different, stronger, more aware me, but the same story. And actually few days ago I started to think about fate, especially yesterday. It does exist. It really DOES. I had a thought, that instead of living it, I was trying to control it to avoid pain, which found me many times anyway. And I made a decision to allow that meant to be journey to unfold. And accidentally I found this video. 🙂
My mind has been completely BLOWN! Your message was life changing for me! I’ve never been so emotionally connected to the memories your words connected me to. I’ve been on a journey for close to 4 years to understand me and my abusive relationship. The realization is almost too painful to allow myself to fully engage with. Thank you SO much for sharing your knowledge and wisdom with us!!! WOW❤️
Damn, Teal, you rock. This is everything I've been dealing with lately, for the past few years actually, and it's so interesting to have it laid out. I'm actually revisiting an old relationship after having looked at my patterns and realizing the reality of my parents and my childhood. This relationship might be self sabotage but it feels so inevitable I'm slowly giving in. Thanks for this. Very reassuring on a night I needed reassurance. You rock. Thanks for not being afraid of the dark and being willing to shine light on the shadows.
Teal, you are changing my way of thinking in such a drastic way that I do know who I'll become. I just know that I LOVE this transformation within myself .
This channel has replaced 60 I've found in my search to internally rewire heal integrate and improve myself.
Not just me, everyone else is too, including you. You are exactly where you need to be feeling exactly the way you should be. Know exactly as much you need to and have exactly as much capacity to know as you should.
This talk really clicks with me. I've watched the way this works, but never to this depth. Teal is very sharp and I'm grateful for the Spiritual Catalyst!
I realized recently that the men I've fallen in love with are exactly like my mother. Cold, unavailable, unemotional, and I always end up feeling abandoned. My father was very warm and loving compared to her, I felt safe with him not her. It's driving me crazy that I recognize it but can't seem to heal it, just keeps popping up :/
How’s it going?
What you touched on here is ground breaking for me. I have had much difficulty with the positive thought path. I can see by accepting my fate, I recognize and nurture myself with positive thoughts for me in my future. I will read that book. I want to know more!
This concise presentation very clearly illustrates one of the most complex aspects of the human personality. Human sexuality cries out for fulfillment, but is rarely satisfied. Thank you, Teal, for your educational efforts to help other humans to truly heal from out of the depths of their inner selves, in order to see the light of day, after visiting the heart of darkness!
There are some commenters here who are apparently very frightened of facing simple truths, but it all makes sense. The title of the video will probably make some people squirmy, but I hope that they click play and watch it, since the topic is essentially about self-honesty, self-awareness, and healing from and overcoming one's own thought patterns.
Healing is difficult when you keep going back to what stimulates you, even though you know it's harmful.
Teal explaines the Oedipus Complex and it´s influence on our dayly relationships (not only on our lifepartners) fine, but her tip how to handle this emotional constellation is so sophisticated as surprising: "Use Your awareness"! Thank You so much, this could be the solution or a way to. I´m going to try it immediately ..
OMFG OMGF OMFG. My perspective on my childhood is ALL THAT MATTERS! It doesn’t even matter if it’s true. It’s MY perspective and that’s all that matters. You. Just. Blew. My. Mind! This is why I ❤️❤️❤️ your videos Teal Swan. You expand my consciousness and understanding of myself so much. Thank you!!! Thank you for taking the time to make these videos!!! I am on a journey of healing. Still in the beginning stages but have been following your teachings and you’ve helped me advance so much!! This just blew my mind. Again!!
Also just realized the person I’m with deeply reflects the relationship I had with both my mom and Dad. And in totally different ways. Soooo crazy. And I have NEVER been so attracted to anyone I’ve ever dated.
When I was a little boy, Freud's name came up while my parents were giving me a bath. I asked why Freud was famous. "Well," I was told, "Freud invented the Oedipal Complex." "What's that?" I asked. "Well, Freud would say that you love mommy, and that you would like to get rid of daddy so that you can have mommy all to yourself." I felt great shame, and I hated that rat Freud. But I knew he was right.
You are joking.. right?
You rat, Freud! Mind your own business!
Ya'll chill, I appreciate that you told this story, it's interesting.
…
This is a smart woman!! I spent years in therapy, so much money, and went no where!! I wish I had found Teal 5 years ago.
Thank you So much Teal. Your contributions to this planet are so impactful. I've reached points in this work where my inner child is just thrashing inside my body. I randomly went and revisited my child hood home and parented him there. This parenting of our inner children and healing of sexual cycles of abuse and masochism/sadism are so important right now. Thank you for getting so many of us on the right path of manifesting positive outcomes for ourselves and this world at large.
Why are you holding onto this person? You cannot change someone unless they are willing to change themselves. We get comfortable in a relationship and hold on, but when things aren't right we either second guess ourselves or find another reason to stay. I fell into this pattern and wanted so much to change and get answers..this person was just like my abusive dad. This pattern repeated until I was almost mentally destroyed. Do what's best for you and don't be afraid to move on or be alone.
this is amazing teal. i am speechless about the level of truth and honesty and flexibility you provide in you perspectives. what a blessing
I really wish to express my feelings of gratitude to you Teal for the experiences and teachings you have given out to the world as a whole.
On a more personal note, you have allowed for me to see and understand my reality and what goes on within it and I feel liberated bit by bit through my healing, and that's something in which I have no words to express how liberating it feels. Your teachings are so powerful and eye opening and I Thank You so much for enduring everything and being able to be where you are and to be able to teach the rest of us and allow us to grow. Thank you for everything
Bloody brilliant video. Such challenging yet profound advice. Thanks Teal 🙏
Logical... Very informative.
Triggers us to be introspective, and most of what she said will be found true.
I am convinced. Thank you for the video.
The Howard Wolowitz Complex
haha very good
Teal, your channel is like a workbook. Thank you for giving me something to ponder each week as I live this journey. Many blessings.
I'm bisexual. Does that mean I'm subconsciously attracted to BOTH my parents?
You might subconsciously hate the one you should be attracted to.
SloveintzWend My dad? I have a hard time seeing that. I totally adore both of my parents, although I slightly prefer my mother. Maybe my sister, though
I think sometimes people like both sexes simply because they do. Theres so many ways to live on this planet. Not everything that deviates from the norm has to come from some negative thing or trauma. I am bi and its basically For me, its about the individual person and not their gender or sex. So the love of my life could come in many forms! I dont limit my attraction because its just how I feel!
I hope so
I have a harder time dating women, just as I have a harder time loving my mom. but I was to kill my dad. what kind of bi am i?
Great lighting Teal! It gives you warmth and a relaxed feel. I know you guys put a lot into this, you guys are getting very good at this.
Dear Teal,
Thank you for your courage in taking on one of the most "hot button" topics. Even these many years after Freud and Reich, we are very behind in being conscious and responsible of how we replay our unconscious oedipal patterns, especially in our closest intimacies. Did you know that Adi Da devoted an entire book to the "oedipal consideration", called "The Treasures Consideration"?
Love, Theo
This is a really clarifying and insightful video and an essential way of seeing myself and this paradox that once I accept my fate and make peace with it, I transcend it.
SUMMARY - Oedipus Complex (Relationships and Fate) - Teal Swan
When we were made guilty for sexual desires we had we became at war with ourselves
disre vs. guilt
this creates neurosis
you have a romantic relationship with your opposite sex parent and play out the painful dynamics that were present between you
oedipus comblex is the subconscious desire to unify with the parent of the opposite sex
including the subconscious rivalary with the parent of the same sex
if you didnt get the love you wanted you attract partners with the same treatment to create a different positive outcome than what you experienced
we play out the dynamics with partners as we did with the opposite sex parent until we look at these shadows
we subconsciously seek these patterns to heal from them
you suppressed the sexual desire for the mother and the rivalry for the opposite sex parent because your psyche could not deal with it
you can not progress towards healing until the pattern is recognized, the original pain is revisited and that part of you is fully accepted
as a child you cannot conceptualize that the parent that causes you pleasure also causees you pain
because of this we split the idea of our parent in two
we have a relationship with two different parents within one body
that means you have a relationship with the good parent of the opposite sex and a relationship with the bad parent of the realtionship
this is a coping strategy
you are attracted by qualities of the good parent and as the realtionship progresses you discover personality traits of the bad parent
you start acting against your partner the suppressed emotions you had against the bad parent
if you want to recognize your neurotic patterns and change them it is essential to
take a serious look at how you play out your childhood dynamic with your parents
now in your adulthood
your entire future that you're living right now
is the result over your perspective have your childhood
What was your perspective of the dynamic in your household going up?
what's your perspective of your relationship with your father?
what's your perspective is your relationship with your mother your?
Are there any patterns you noticed in your family?
Its important to write those down
Do you notice a correlation between the patterns of your childhood and the patterns of your current relationship?
Write down a list of good traits that your opposite sex parent has
Write down a list of bad character traits
compare the first list s to people you are attracted to
the second with long term realtionships
the feelings towards your bad parent might be so strongly suppressed that you can feel them only towards your partner
become aware of these patterns and start a project whether you act out these patterns of your early childhood
you create the very fate you are trying to avoid according to the law of attraction (whatever you resist persists)
what we suppress becomes part of our personality and our character
you cant deny the problem which is part of your character
you cant find healing by turning against character traits
try to overcome the problem that's part of
one's personality
is to turn part of yourself against another part of yourself
is to wage in internal war it is to commit ourselves by our thoughts words
and actions to the very fate we are trying so desperately to avoid
this is the heart neurosis
the defense is that we mad to protect us create very condition we're trying to
avoid
if your problems are very ingrained in your personality, you cannot create what you want to create, because no part of you can ever belief that this is possible
in this case you act counter-intuitive by accepting your fate you cant avoid
instead of trying to create what you want to create
we release resistance by accepting
our fate by accepting
that what we think is going to happen is going to happen
find thoughts that feel better about that impending fate which is inevitable
you can never try to overcome a problem that is part of your personality
you cant overcome a part of yourself, you cant fight yourself
eg. if you personally identfy with suffering you try desperateley to be happy
pulling against the truth is integral part of my being
that I will suffer for the rest of my life then I will suffer
for the rest of my life I'm trying to avoid it
and by avoiding I am going to create the very fate I'm trying to avoid
the remedy is to find thoughts to think, things to do, things to say that will genuinely make me feel ok about the idea that I am going to suffer for the rest of my life
this is not lying to yourself
you cant tell your things that you dont believe
it must be thoughts that genuinely make you feel better about that fate
you have to be honest if your problems have become an inegral part of your personality
---> book: fear of life - alexander lowen
most people pull in the opposite direction of their fate (subconsciously)
Most people dont acknowledge what they actually think is true: that they dont create their own reality
they lie to themselves that they create their own reality
I'm asking you to step into self-awareness
to look at your patterns directly in the face and to look at the feet
wish you are convinced you're going to line up with
even if you may want to tell yourself otherwise
if there are aspects
of you that believe in a certain fate
release resistance that fate by becoming okay with it happening
I promise you the second you do this
those coils that are wrapped tightly around you will loosen
and then you are free
Thanks Teal
Thank you so much! It helped me a lot finding answers to these questions seeing it written down! Great
You're Awesome
AMAZING! Everything falls into place. Thank You, Teal!
Teal - I am so grateful for your teachings, this one in particular is the most liberating. love and light to you!!!
This is my favorite video you've ever made!
Does everything have to do with our mother or father? Yikes!
Much like a computer, they were our programmers. So in so many works, YES!
Once self-aware.. we stop blaming our past, and the people in it. We can Choose to be different at any time. But the story creates attention, and excitement whether neg or pos. I choose to let go of the parts of my past that were not uplifting emotionally, & create the future the way I choose it to be right NOW. My Presence Now is the Power.. not the past... unless I make it so by repeating it constantly... I choose forgiveness, Love, & Joy Now... and move on..... feeling my peace, & freedom.. Peace & Love
Thank you Teal this was BRILLIANT! Thank you :) It took a long time to recognize and id that the O Complex was the issue. Is the issue. They were patterns and resistance to such extents that never added up until their were just hints or that I'm now old enough to have 'figured it out.' Indeed it is about accepting ones fate, instead of resisting. It does take a load of pressure off. Instead of always running around to find ways of avoidance. That is madness! Thank you for helping me to find acceptance :) Thank you for this blessing and deeper understanding to a very complex COMPLEX. ;)
Driven by Desire, Plagued by Guilt. Some cross the line beyond the point of no return in a battle with one's self through those dark nights of the soul. Others find self acceptance by feeding the beast of various insatiable appetite towards destruction. Forgiveness in all its shapes and forms is the pathway out of delusion. A way to alter places of deception, ultimately leading ones self to finding Peace beneath the Bodhi tree; releasing the stranglehold of the coil. Namaste ~xMx~Lodi
I'm straight up with myself on the Oedipus Complex. I've never judged myself for this. The mother gives the template for how I have interacted with the feminine in general, so I have done much introspection my relationship with my mother so I can experience a positive, relationship with a 'g/f/'. Simultaneously, I must be unattached to being in a loving relationship--meaning, coming to the full realization, if even for a brief moment, that I am all the love I need. My mate is the reflection.
Thank you Teal for sharing on this fkd up topic! Just the thought of the word Oedipus flares a very negative taste on human souls at a profound deep level, uh I wonder why;). I was open to doing the excise and hearing what you had to say. While being fully present my openness took me on a journey to the truth of what naturally happens as kidos. Coming out of the process being fully present brought greater awareness, joy, and, peace. I'm huge believer on forgiveness and yet this excise has liberated my soul and shifted my being for forever. "The truth will set you free and it sure does!!" Much appreciation Teal for getting down to the nitty gritty TRUTH!!!
Our parents are teachers on how 2 love. Some teachers are successful most are not. This fact gives us need to teach our selves.
Truth
not teachers but models/blueprints
Perfect timing! Thank you so much, Teal! Lots of love and warmth to you and your family!
Relationships cause the most suffering. In the eyes of others, we exist as a stable entity. We cling to the idea/s of ourselves which we see as providing us with the best means for receiving validation from others. However, psychologically we are changing constantly. This is what results in conflicts. These conflicts then cause neurosis, and in turn potentially mild-severe mental illnesses. It is vitally important to practice self-observation and understand the mechanics of our psyches.
The relationship between torturer and POW probably causes "the most suffering""
Thank you thank you thank you thank you Teal!!!!!!!!! Resisting what is my fate has kept me at war for the 56 years I have been on this planet! Much much much love for this one! The very best to you, and now to me!!!!!
i am one who truly does not remember my father as my first love. i feard him too much. and dont remember ever feeling in compitition with my mother. but i am not a psychiatrist or psychologist. so i dont even know for sure if this is all bull shit or not but i give Teal the benefit of the doubt. she is brilliant to me. i will have to watch this again to even nail how i feel. i feel my life is affected by negative patterns. weird to connect it to my dad. i bloked him out of my life and i did not care when he died. i'll have to watch this again.
just observe your relationships with men and youll see what are your tendencies
My father would not prefer himself to be compared to those African men I used to meet, one is my daughter's father. I had a dream abut global friendship and unity but that dream was not very successful and I was left alone. But actually the father of my daughter is like my father: creative, absent, cool and materialistic, but also very charm . I felt so familiar with my daughters father even he was from far away and from a different culture, that I felt that he is a relative already! Besides of that he mirrored some aspects of myself so much! And now my father is almost the best friend of my daughter… maybe because he sees himself in her. I've experienced in my life, that always meet men with very strict religious childhood backgrounds. Yes, most of my boyfriends had been muslims. But I have not seen any difference between them and me and between their family and my family. So strict, as dependent structures - all is the same, same same. Nothing different. Only the culture, the name of the religion. No difference in humanity indeed. It is so funny, though, that my grand mom, the mother of my father, was so rebellious in her time. She lived as a young women in my country Finland just when we had got our independency from Russia. She was actually born when our country was under Russian, in 1908. Finland got its independency in 1917. She told me how she has met russian soldiers, Cossaks, on her way home on the road.
It was those times. My grandmother's mother had died and she got a stepmother. Nothing to complain about it. I have not heard any complaining about it. My grandmother was about 18 and her father was keeping a guesthouse, where my grand mom was working as a servant. But then in that small village came a person who taught bookkeeping. My grandmother was interested in that and took the course. Then she also applied a workplace in another city. Because she was afraid to tell about it to her family, one sunday when everyone else went to the church, she did not. She stayed at home, wrote the note that she has left to work to another city as a bookkeeper and left her home. Everything turned to be well: her father was not angry at her, but provided her postgraduate studies in the University in the middle of Finland and so she got good education for herself in the beginning of 1900's. After all, she was working in the bank for more than 30 years and as a wife of a farmer, who went to the war against russians in 1039 - 1945. During that time she was an employee in the bank and the mother of 5 children and run the farmer of hs husband who was in the war.
In that war most of the soldiers were not older than 18 years old. Both from Finnish and Russian side. How discusting it has been!
So actually my history is very exotic. Both my grandfathers faught against Russians and my country still remained it's independency. So many young people were killed in that war - I can understand American experiences n their many wars around the world.
So, the father of my father has been absent. He was i the war. My father was absent because he was working. He is creative but was always working and that what I got as boyfriends.
But actually I like working, too! I would hate the idea of a man, who does not work. The father of my daughter loves his work, he was good in it. What I've experienced is, that I have so rooted connections with my family, that is rare in modern society, that I meet people from cultures who have same values - but not the same religion! When I was in Africa with my young daughter one man said to me: "I've never heard any European talk about her family so much as you do!"
Even my parents do not know, they matter to me. I've been educated as I was living in the muslim society even I am totally Christian - or rather so called New Age. I've tried to escape it, but it is always there. What I attract, are always form islamic background.
The latest version of my soulmate - and he really was a soulmate - was from Bangladesh. But he lived in Paris, he had a French citizenship and an European passport and I met him in the National Museum in Helsinki. What a great day. I was there because I had a seminar there considering of my work and he was there because the s´weather was cold and he though that that place is the church Accidentally I lost my workmate after the seminar and I was hanging a ring in the museum when this totally handsome man that I'd recognized before, came to me and asked me to take a pickture of him in front of the throne Alexander the 1St, who gave the autonomy to Finland in 1880-century. And it was funny, because I was doing the project that was involved with the history with Alexander the 1st. (n Berlin where live now, the place Alexanderplatz is also name according to that emperor.)
I love him forever, even everything turned to be impossible, I admire his curiosity, his sense of humor, his imagination, his kindness, his willingness to help, his good and healthy lifestyle, his honesty. He was s lively! He wanted to dance! He was very interested to sand´ce, he wanted to learn how to dance salsa! He is such a curious person about life - and he is from a muslim family. But what he told about his parents, I could not find bad. I felt they they are the most honest, lovable and sincere parents that can be on this earth. I felt that they are as mine There was no difference. This man was so kind, that there is no doubt that his parents are good. They are just victims of their society.
So, We learned how to dance walz and salsa, together. The man, who was from the culture where men and women can not shake hands. He wanted to learn and was curious about dancing. He was curious about every aspect of life. He was a wonderful person. He wanted to know, He asked questions. He was (is) a wonderful man. And we had to give up because of the religion and what parents think. Not my parents - his. And his parents did not get even a possibility to say anything, because this man was so afraid of his parent's actions.
Whatever. I am happy that I have had a possibility to see beyond religions and I have had connections to people form whatever culture. Anyhow it it interesting, that the persons who have most impacted me are the persons, who's individuality had been put down by their relatives - as I have my in my own experience. I've met men who deeply resonate with me but who have same problems with me: living according to their own standards than to their parent's standards.
I am originally christian, but these fellows I've met tell me, that we all are so same, so same, that it is just amazing. I still consider myself as a Christian. I respect my roots I am that kind of person. But I do not close my eyes from other ideologies.
From these experiences Ive created a vey open minded character, not sticked to any religion. Especially with muslims I feel a very deep connection because I feel that I've experienced the same in my childhood. Not that I want to be part of it but I feel so much compassion because I've experienced the same.
What the hell I try t avoid or escape? My life is so multicultural even i do not move my ass any cent - so what is the fact? 'de like to be normal. But I am aways different.I do not see the velour of the skin or so. Ys, I must adnut that there are some pitfalls: i am very suspicious about russians. It is jus because of our history and experiences. But: I have had russian friend, too.
Actally I'm a very international person, curious (as my unforgettable boyfriend from Paris (originally from Bangladesh) and innocent. I care humanity and that's it. Then I get surprises and get disappointed.
I've been so enthusiastic of different cultures on the earth and how disappointed I've been to seen, how difficult it all is. I remember my times in Africa. Africa is something that really brings you perspective. I assume. India is the same. I just have not been there.
thank you.
Whoa that was deep. I can honestly say I cannot say a bad thing about my parents. I will need to explore my relationship patterns and see what I come up with. Thank you for another incredibly Powerful message!
As counter-intuitive as it may seem, it makes sense. Example: I'm a fighter, I grew up in an abusive home with a bi-polar father. I've since became empowered, and defensive. In a violent situation I have no problem defending my wife, friends, or even my boss, physically. I've lately joined a spiritualist group and I'm kinda found my own place. Once upon a time my teacher once came into my backyard and saw me still training. (The group practices pacifism) he said at the beginning he was let down, but after weeks of talking he realized that it's part of who I am, I struggle with the non-aggression principle that he teaches. After a while of fighting that part of myself, excuse the pun, he said, "It's okay. I should love myself anyway, that it's part of who I am, it's never going to change, unless I lose part of myself." Which is against his teaching. So I've since accepted that when things get ugly, I'm going to want to jump in and defend my own. Now I feel much better about myself.
Since I've accepted my fate, my teacher works with two others like myself. He teaches us the principles of spiritualism and I teach self-defense. We've even defended our brothers and sisters when they came under attack from a group those that don't believe us.
your teacher sucks @@Racye-bf7vn
@@Racye-bf7vn listen to your own wisdom and experience being strong is huge part of life
So what we are all at the mercy of our fate that is ultimately based on the dynamic we had with our parents? And there is no way for us to change and meet people with different qualities that we actually prefer? She didn't really explain HOW we can break free of our oedipus fate and create the fate we really want.
Whoever Teal is She is a pure power. Teal is a clap of thunder who brings a jolt to the sky. She is a wonderful wake-up call and admits laugh the chaos. Eyes once closed will now see. Outer circumstances will be seen in a new light. New answers and new solutions will appear before you. Or perhaps they were there all along?
Teal you always know what to say at just the right time. Genuinely look forward to your videos. Thanks for being you.
She either smokes a big-ass cigar, or her house is burning down.
I felt as though i was alone. watching this, I remembered that I'm not alone. thank you for this
I've done the work, become aware, and released this pattern. I don't have it in my life as much as it used to, and I am aware of those traits my father had in men I date now. Awareness of unconscious patterns is key!
Teal...i have learned alot about myself just by watching this one clip. So much has began to make sense for me now. Wow..this is just wow
My past couple of relationships are very much a mix of my Father and Brother. As a child I was very close with my brother and as he got older he shut me out and treated me like the annoying little sister who embarrassed him. I tend to attract guys that start with a close bond then BAMMM they cut me off. I am very comfortable dating guys with traits shared with my Dad and Brother but attracting guys who abandon me without a care is the real issue I deal with....
Same!
I feel so upset but very relieved because for the first time I am allowed to suffer. I’ve never felt true happiness and when I try I feel even more depressed.
Teal, thank you so much for sharing your profound knowledge and insights into the human psyche and condition. Your ability to communicate such complex matters is nothing short of astonishing and highly admirable. I believe that there is not another person on planet Earth that understands the intrecacy of this subject like you do. You're an absolute living legend!! ❤❤
I am not sure who Teal Swan is, but, this is spot on. Seriously in touch.
Erik Waldkirch she's just quoting Freud. this is Freudian theory.
huge eye-opener! these Concepts explain so much!
My God!!! What an attractive woman you are Teal Scott!! I am one who has been on the Spiritual Path for the last 26 years. I find that, due to your great physical attraction as a female, I can look directly into your eyes during your video and discover that you speak Truth, despite how devastatingly beautiful that you are. This gives me hope, as I have walked quite a divergent road on the Path. Thank you SO much for your life, and for choosing such GREAT personal beauty for this incarnation.......it has helped me clarify where I am on the Path, and celebrates the feminine half of humanity!!!
It's all about knowing thyself and living your best self while being a good person overall in society
I'm a newcomer to Teal's videos and so far so good... Up until this one. This one hurts. I can't stand either of my parents and I have some very strong opinions about them both. In reflection my ex at the end of my relationship with him was just as lazy, useless, selfish and incredibly entitled just like daddy 'dearest' when I was growing up (and now even). FFS I've got a lot of work to do. 0_0 Thanks Teal, I suppose.
I absolutely LOVE you, Teal! Thank you from the depths of my heart, for your kindness! You are a beautiful creation and the waves are far-reaching!
-Chanel B.
I have your back Teal and thank you so much 🙏 for having mine
Teal message makes a lot of sense....It is vital fir us to become thruthful about our real self, our believes, our fate. There is only one person that is allowed to teach us and liberate pur fate. We, as humans are complex beings, whom have hidden agendas. Fear can rob us from comfronting the very essence of our lives. We must be real. We must be truthful to ourselves. No more hiding. No more stories. We are prone to make mistakes and grow from them and hopefully move on. We must expand in order to achieve the best of each chapter of our lives.
thank you Teal. i pray u know how much you have helped me on my path.
What if both parents were absolutely incredible
Then you should have an incredible love life?
I believe that would be empowering which would mean you would have healthy, balanced intimate relationships.
Not that the comment isn't two years old. Hi
Beautiful content and clarified expressiveness! Very informative and educational! Penetrating insightfulness.... Comprehensive yet concise.
I understand about it being hopeless and problems seemingly ingrained but when I practice Ekhart tolles /Moojis and others like them I can overcome because it is usually a belief in the thoughts good or bad that is the issue, developing a witnessing presence toward my reality has been the most helpful thing I have found. Thank s for the video
You shed light on love and wellbeing so eloquently. thank you for sharing your knowledge and helping to wake me up and remember these things that feel so deeply inherent within. it raises my vibration listening to you, thank you and mahalo
I have listened to many of Teal's videos, and others such as Bashar, and Abraham, etc.. and this video left me feeling drained.. I felt all my energy drop. And I am a very intuitive..and in touch with my feelings. I don't care for the message this video puts out, or the energy in the message it carries.. maybe it appealed to Teal because of her abused childhood. For myself.. I forgave my parent's ignorance realizing they did the best they could, or they would have been different. And I take responsibility for myself as an adult, and love myself, and my inner child..and I am the parent to myself now, I didn't have.. and that is being responsible for my life now awakened. I can honestly say I love my parents, dad is deceased, and mom and I have an amazing relationship now.. it wasn't that way in the past..
But..I chose deliberately to shift my reality from what was, to a higher perspective of "seeing" from a loving, understanding, forgiving, compassionate place.. and as I changed (healed) I transcended my past. And as I did this my relationship with my parents changed, because I CHANGED. We can only change ourself.. and when we change to Love, we transcend what was in the Past Memories, and update these old Beliefs to different, better, or new Beliefs, and live from these states with Being Present NOW. (and its not denying what was, its letting go of what was thru forgiveness, and understanding)
And in this process we are not bringing this old past stuff, into our now moment, because that only keeps us stuck, with creating our future Reality with the same old stuff... Instead we are living in the Now Present Moment, where everything is new.. And the first symptom of knowing we've shifted realities (parallel, or otherwise) is how we FEEL.. we feel Inner Peace, and JOY.. which is an Effect of Unconditional Love, and Goodness (Godness), with being in alignment with our mind-body, and Spirit, as ONE Connected. Now I feel uplifted and my energy is flowing from a Higher level, after writing this, and sharing this with you guys.. Peace and Love, :) Tommy
I like her but there is some videos that instead of help me they open scars that were already healed because i always blamed my parents for my life i am the captain in this boat now is going to be a pleasure to stay above the water.
*****
I understand what your saying.. and I still believe this video is mis-leading, that is my personal experience... and you are free to label it ego, intuition, or whatever you choose... & we all perceive from what we understand and feel intellectually and from a place of alignment with our Higher Self. I prefer to focus on Joy, Love, and uplifting feelings, and move out of the past.. and let it go with forgiveness, This creates freedom for me..and is my personal choice.. peace, and love.. :) Tommy
*****
xoxo
+redy2meet As a person with Mercury in Pisces, I agree. I really hate also when people say "this video is just to think about". But the tone ends in telling me, how to think and how doomed I am If I don't follow the Oedipus Complex. Coils, lol. Nobody constantly abandons me, I'm just a person of strict moral. Internal wars and all this and that. Mind games, the Universe wouldn't hide this from people till the Aquarian Age. Finally?!?
What you resist will persist. If you stop resisting then there will be room for change. If you accept and no longer resist being alone its not giving up and it doesn't create a future for you where you will actually be alone. Don't let fear hold you back from finding true freedom.
Without relationships sounds best. This is a madhouse. There is nature, so that's simply relating differently than what is normal.
"We are fated to experience the same thing we resist" that is really true.
You are amazing. I am so grateful for what you have presented. I will be binging on your work!
So I suffer from this. My father sheltered me, was overprotective but emotionally and sometimes physically abusive as well. My first relationship which is my ex happened to be clingy, somewhat possessive, over-bearing, invasive, very controlling, manipulative, and very offensive and defensive all at the same time. When I couldn't handle it, I left him.(he was pushy and insensitive when I was intimate with him) It was a short relationship, but I had gotten super close to him, the man I had gotten the most intimate with in my life. When it was good, it was really good, and when it was bad it shattered me emotionally. It's been two months since then. I'm still not over him. I look back and think why would I like a guy that treats me that shitty? Since then, there has been attractive, super nice guys that treat me better but the only guy I want is him. Has anyone experienced this and how do you break out of this cycle? I feel like I'll always be attracted to possessive jerks due to my past. I love men that can keep me on my feet, excite me and challenge me but I realize how pathetic and horrible this is. I truly want to change.
+Mystical Chaos I always get in to needy relationships. My father is super super needy. He cant be alone a minute. He makes everyone responsible for his emotions. You have to "carry" him, take care of him, and his emotions. Because he cant take care of them himself. He needs me. And that makes me; appreciated.. (In my head I believe that this is appreciation). BUT: He does not truly appreciate me. How I know this? If I was of no "use" to him. He would not see me.
This makes me addicted. Not to loose him, I need to keep him addicted to me. He needs to need me.
Because I am afraid of being left. Abandonment. Which (in my head) means that Im probably worthless.
In other words = I need him. (as well).
(Not to feel completely worthless).
I seem to get into this kind of relationships. The key is to get super stable. Become really balanced and find the WORTH inside of you - love yourself. That way no one - and I mean no one - can tell you if you are worthless or not.
Do you believe? That you are a person that is truly lovable?
And do you deserve happiness, love and being truly appreciated - without having to "do", or "take care" of anything.
Are you -what you achieve- meaning; you only deserve love when you have done something "good".
Or do you deserve love - no matter accomplishment abilities.
Love yourself :)
It is easy getting trapped in this - when you have a hole to fill. You want someone to fill the empty inside (hens the addiction). I am here to set you free:
You -alone- can fill this hole. - Do it! :)
You need no man. Especially not a bad one -that you dumped for a reason-. Believe in yourself. I believe you did the right choice :)
@Mystical Chaos honey the truth is he is either sadistic and gets off on hurting you emotionally, or he simply doesn't care about you. Move on. You've already made the hardest step. Each one gets easier. Move on.
To be honest I do not think I ever thought of my parents behaviour towards me as having any effect with my relationship. I am too much one with myself. A woman would have to be secure with her self in order to be with me.
Genius!! Absolutely genius Teal!! Thank you for these healing videos and for the book recommendation; I paused the video and bought it right then. Love and light to you and your troops!!
I have been dealing with a seriously destructive NPD who uses equally destructive flying monkeys, and this seems to be the most excellent video I've ever seen directed towards a person with deeply embedded issues. Good job, Teal Swan.
ABSOLUTLY AMAZING, helped me so much with both myself and my homework, big thanks!
I practise True Light, which is purifying energy radiated from the hand. On Sunday this girl received Light from me and afterwards said she felt like she knew me from a past life. The experience shook me up. It was nice, but I felt like crying after.
Very powerful and truthful! A huge thank you, Teal. 😊
brilliant! thx Teal...you are such a blessing and a great help for me! greetings from Basel/Switzerland...what a pitty that I missed your workshop here!
My father died when I was three years old. I don't remember him at all.
As an adult I was engaged to a man who got sick and he died 3 years after he got his diagnosis of MS. I remember how his eyes looked hollow just as my father's eyes looked in the pictures I have of him that were taken months before he died.
F*ck the Oedipus complex. If I'm fated to be alone for the rest of my life then fine, but did it really have to be that depressing and dramatic?
As soon as you accept this principle... that will be the moment that it begins to change for you.
My therapy study is in the UK and teal Swan is right. Big pharma resolutions are repressive healing Inner child work. Cutting cords with your parents values to by yourself. I like journal and being open to new shifts
I have been trying to escape these patterns for the past 10 years but now I see that this is only causing more frustration I will work on accepting my situation...thnxs for the vid :-)
I'm so happy I found this. Than mmm you so much. I'm in my early 30s and I have become more aware of my tendencies and myself from my late 20s, and I honestly believe that the moment one begins to accept their self as they know they are, it will become easier to truly life a satisfying life, however satisfying is defined to the individual. Know thyself, stop the war on self because of outward perceptions.
i literally could listen to you all day
At first I was a bit confused but I quickly got the gist of what she is saying and it makes perfect sense. Thanks teal
WOW! I am going to listen again. Perhaps the most powerful "Teal" yet!
Thank you so much Teal for this wonderful video! I love you so much and I am happy that you seem to feel better.