So you think you're gaein' tae the north to spend a holiday 'Cause you're vaguely Scottish on your mither's side And you've heard of ancient glories both renowned in song and story Kilts and haggis, Andy Stewart and the Clyde Ye go up by Crianlarich, it's the gateway to the north And the scenery will please your eyes I'm sure Ye take oot your picnic basket 'cause the car has blown a gasket In the middle o' a place called Rannoch Moor So you telephone the garage listed in the tourist guide That was published for you by the R.A.C. But by design, or by intention, or, they just forget to mention That the garage closes doon for half past three So you're towed behind this tractor tae a corrugated shed That's surrounded by farm implements and carts And you scratch your head and wonder why you ever bought a Honda 'Cause they'll have to send to Tokyo for the parts So you board the train for Oban and you get the boat to Mull Feeling like you've had a night upon the tiles Ye pay twenty pence for coffee with a tang o' diesel oil Your experience in the swindle o' the isles But your pulse begins to quicken at the thought of berry-pickin' So you take a trip to 'Gowrie for a spell Wi' some wellies o' your mothers that she bought in Ali Brothers And a Gideon bible pinched frae yer hotel So you're standing picking rasps being stung to death by wasps The midges and the clegs are making free And the bairns have ate the berries and contracted dysentery 'Cause last week they sprayed the crop with DDT So you're headin' back to Birmingham more waterlogged than tanned But no signs of habitation can you see When you thought you were in Berwick you were actually in Lerwick 'Cause some vandal changed the signpost in Dundee
Loved the corries a sad day when Roy died sad miss
Wonderful song.. love it.. ❤
That's a little Scottish chorus.. one for the drunks to sing along too 🤣
So you think you're gaein' tae the north to spend a
holiday
'Cause you're vaguely Scottish on your mither's side
And you've heard of ancient glories both renowned in
song and story
Kilts and haggis, Andy Stewart and the Clyde
Ye go up by Crianlarich, it's the gateway to the north
And the scenery will please your eyes I'm sure
Ye take oot your picnic basket 'cause the car has blown
a gasket
In the middle o' a place called Rannoch Moor
So you telephone the garage listed in the tourist guide
That was published for you by the R.A.C.
But by design, or by intention, or, they just forget to
mention
That the garage closes doon for half past three
So you're towed behind this tractor tae a corrugated
shed
That's surrounded by farm implements and carts
And you scratch your head and wonder why you ever
bought a Honda
'Cause they'll have to send to Tokyo for the parts
So you board the train for Oban and you get the boat to
Mull
Feeling like you've had a night upon the tiles
Ye pay twenty pence for coffee with a tang o' diesel
oil
Your experience in the swindle o' the isles
But your pulse begins to quicken at the thought of
berry-pickin'
So you take a trip to 'Gowrie for a spell
Wi' some wellies o' your mothers that she bought in Ali
Brothers
And a Gideon bible pinched frae yer hotel
So you're standing picking rasps being stung to death
by wasps
The midges and the clegs are making free
And the bairns have ate the berries and contracted
dysentery
'Cause last week they sprayed the crop with DDT
So you're headin' back to Birmingham more waterlogged
than tanned
But no signs of habitation can you see
When you thought you were in Berwick you were actually
in Lerwick
'Cause some vandal changed the signpost in Dundee
That is hilarious.
My hero! Thank you
Love this song!
Brilliant, absolutely brilliant 😂.
Isn't it just. I laugh every time I hear it.
So funny
So very true of that era. lol
*You're experiencin' the swindle . . .