You are so welcome. I have other videos on this topic: After podcast 23: after 24; after 27; after 98; 2 videos after 102. And two on Why Am I Depressed, after podcast 89.
Thank you for making these videos, they are so helpful. I have been wondering about the possibility of being sexually abused as a child for years, but I’ve pushed it away convincing myself that there’s no way something that terrible could have happened since I have no actual memory of it. But I’ve had a pattern since I was a young teenager of having an incredibly negative terror and panic and depression response to any serious romantic attention, even if I cognitively want it. Like, when someone tries to offer me physical or even just emotional affection in a romantic context, I go completely round the bend and instinctively want nothing to do with them even if I really liked them before. The first time someone asked me out I ended up sobbing on the floor as soon as they left, rocking back and forth and compulsively repeating “I’m sorry, it’s not my fault” with no clue why. I’ve steered clear of relationships since then until just last week, at which point I had my first kiss and even though in the moment I wanted it, right afterward I went into full panic mode and have been an emotional wreck ever since. The guy gave me a gift for Valentine’s Day and I literally can’t look a it without feeling immense dread and sadness. I don’t have an explanation for any of this. Yesterday my mom told me that she thinks I was very likely abused by a family member as a young child. Now I’m doing frantic research and swinging wildly between denial and impostor syndrome and surety that it’s true plus a lot of other bizarre memories and emotions. All that to say, thank you for the love and information you are spreading, and if anyone reads this comment all the way through, I would greatly appreciate if you would be willing to offer a prayer. God is my only hope in this situation and my faith is teetering.
Yes God is our only hope! I will be praying. God will heal you! Check our Aaron Shust’s song on you tube: Psalm 71, 23 and others. I post Christian videos on my Facebook page: Catherine Kirby. You cannot force remembering. Journaling is good. Pray for Gods peace.
I'm currently going through this and trying to figure it out. I don't have family, I can tall about this with. It's always been about how they feel. I had a really vivid dream of being a baby. I could sit up but couldn't really move. I was alone at night with a old man. I think likey a baby sitter bc I know we were alone. He was sitting across the room from me doing something that was not ok. In the dream, I could feel all of my emotions. Confusion, terror, screaming and crying. Feeling so vulnerable bc I couldn't move. I was SA in preschool but didn't know about this. I've never heard of anyone remembering something as a baby. I know it's a memory. It's so vivid and I can't shake it, even with time. I've been trying to find information about infant memory, in terms of abuse. Thank you, for making this video. These are great and spirit lead.
Please ask God about your dream. It may not mean what you think. In my own experience, I was forced into silence by a threat. I suffered alone although I lived with a lively family and was surrounded by good neighbors. If you 🤭can’t tell, you are like that baby, paralyzed and unable to act. Thank the good Lord that He takes those experiences away from us for a time. if not, we would lose the experience of childhood and innocence. Yes, there are traumatized infants who are pre-verbal. I’m not saying that you didn’t experience that.
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Thank you so much!
Thank you for adressing this topic.
You are so welcome. I have other videos on this topic: After podcast 23: after 24; after 27; after 98; 2 videos after 102. And two on Why Am I Depressed, after podcast 89.
Love, love this information. Thank you for your support, experiences and knowledge sharing.
❤️
Thanks. Please check out my other videos on the subject. Lots of love, Catherine
Catherine thank you so much for this
You should do counseling
We’ll see who God sends my way.
Thank you for making these videos, they are so helpful. I have been wondering about the possibility of being sexually abused as a child for years, but I’ve pushed it away convincing myself that there’s no way something that terrible could have happened since I have no actual memory of it. But I’ve had a pattern since I was a young teenager of having an incredibly negative terror and panic and depression response to any serious romantic attention, even if I cognitively want it. Like, when someone tries to offer me physical or even just emotional affection in a romantic context, I go completely round the bend and instinctively want nothing to do with them even if I really liked them before. The first time someone asked me out I ended up sobbing on the floor as soon as they left, rocking back and forth and compulsively repeating “I’m sorry, it’s not my fault” with no clue why. I’ve steered clear of relationships since then until just last week, at which point I had my first kiss and even though in the moment I wanted it, right afterward I went into full panic mode and have been an emotional wreck ever since. The guy gave me a gift for Valentine’s Day and I literally can’t look a it without feeling immense dread and sadness. I don’t have an explanation for any of this. Yesterday my mom told me that she thinks I was very likely abused by a family member as a young child. Now I’m doing frantic research and swinging wildly between denial and impostor syndrome and surety that it’s true plus a lot of other bizarre memories and emotions.
All that to say, thank you for the love and information you are spreading, and if anyone reads this comment all the way through, I would greatly appreciate if you would be willing to offer a prayer. God is my only hope in this situation and my faith is teetering.
Yes God is our only hope! I will be praying. God will heal you! Check our Aaron Shust’s song on you tube: Psalm 71, 23 and others.
I post Christian videos on my Facebook page: Catherine Kirby.
You cannot force remembering. Journaling is good. Pray for Gods peace.
I'm currently going through this and trying to figure it out. I don't have family, I can tall about this with. It's always been about how they feel.
I had a really vivid dream of being a baby. I could sit up but couldn't really move. I was alone at night with a old man. I think likey a baby sitter bc I know we were alone. He was sitting across the room from me doing something that was not ok. In the dream, I could feel all of my emotions. Confusion, terror, screaming and crying. Feeling so vulnerable bc I couldn't move. I was SA in preschool but didn't know about this. I've never heard of anyone remembering something as a baby. I know it's a memory. It's so vivid and I can't shake it, even with time. I've been trying to find information about infant memory, in terms of abuse.
Thank you, for making this video. These are great and spirit lead.
Please ask God about your dream. It may not mean what you think. In my own experience, I was forced into silence by a threat. I suffered alone although I lived with a lively family and was surrounded by good neighbors. If you 🤭can’t tell, you are like that baby, paralyzed and unable to act. Thank the good Lord that He takes those experiences away from us for a time. if not, we would lose the experience of childhood and innocence. Yes, there are traumatized infants who are pre-verbal. I’m not saying that you didn’t experience that.
Thank you for the sharing.
You are so welcome.
The impulse for revenge does happen, and you are right. I still pay the consequences of that decision. I am grateful for this video.
@@nicolehockeygirl , thank you!
Thank you 🙏🏻💕🌹
Thank you!