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I am so sorry about Jake, see ya soon Sharon

I feel God led me to this. Thank you for the heartfelt video.

My cousin had a baby two years ago and seeing my uncle babysit her is bringing very unsettling feelings for me. My mom stopped letting him babysit me when I was young. And he has so many red flags. I don’t know what to do. I can’t remember much of my childhood but he scares me. And I don’t want the same outcome for my cousin’s daughter. He posts creepy weird things on instagram all the time too. I don’t know what to do because I don’t have any solid evidence or recollection. I just know he’s not safe

Abortion survivors killing themselves on the date they were supposed to be aborted? Thats totally wild a fetus can know the date! I almost don’t believe it… do you have any sources?

I had a feeling that triggered a memory. It was " I'm trying to help you, why are you yelling at me" and the memory of me pulling my pajama pants down so that I wouldn't be woken up when "he" pulled them down. I was definitely physically abused, but I'm not sure about this. It would be molestation, probably not rape at least.

Hi, please can i do you a question? I see a video of repressing memory of sexual abuse and i have a personal question . Is very important to me

Yes, yes, yes! You are right about everything. 🙏🏻

Hello I grew up and I always grew up thinking something was off in my life. I didn't know what. Ive been an alcoholic or some form of addict my whole life as long as i could remember. I recently started to wonder why Im so effed up mentally and after seeing something on tv it triggered me to look up the history of the Roman catholic preschool I attended. Doing so I found out that the Friar was a serial child abuser. He molested 9 boys starting in 1987. The church would move him around from parish to parish after he was found out. They finally removed him from the church in 2002. After finding this info out i started to question If i could have possibly been one of the abused. I would have been only 3 or 4 at the time. Are these thoughts of an over active imagination or is there something real to them??? I think I would have been a good target for abuse as to this friar preyed on children with family problems. My mother at the time went through 1 miscarriage and I was born with a cleft lip and pallette. My speech was not understandable in any way at the time except to maybe my parents. Even they had hard times understanding me that young. My mom passed away when i was 41/2 years old due to cardiac problems. I think i was still at the preschool during this time. I would have been very vulnerable at this time. My dad was often at work during that time then after my preschool my aunt would pick me up. That was the routine until I moved to Florida at 5 yrs old. Its just odd because i never could make proper relationships with people. Father brian Mckeon moved to Florida and died. I don't know if ill ever truly know!!!

I recommend doing voice memos if journaling isn’t for you

I un-repressed my memories

That is a very pretty blanket. I like how you did the colors with the variged and blue and green.

Good morning. Thank you for sharing 🙏❤

Good morning !😊 Its nice to see a Christian lady on here. 😊❤

I am afraid of the answers...I was triggered by trying to change the diaper of a child I was babysitting...he was struggling against me...I started hyper ventilating and had to lay down on the floor

I love you, thank you for being open about your story

That’s so true about how nobody wants to hear about it. I lost my friend who I was her maid of Honor for at her wedding because I was trauma dumping my SA too.

My father also threw out all of out family Fotos and i always thought to mysefl it was so i dont remebr anything . I do have a scar in my Genetils . I havent asked the doctor i m scared to lnow .

I knownin my heartvi was abused as a baby or bery young toddler . I cant remeber . But i think it hallenes at my grandmas house . All my Unclea are diagusting . Cheaters and abusers . It was either kne of them but almetimes j feel like it was my father . When i was a child i remeber somkne would like stare at my Dace On tol of me Until i would fal asleep . That memorie has always been with me Z and i alwaya hated my Father always . U am 42 amd j havent asked my mother . And j sont talk tk ang family Members . Shes the only one and i am Close tk not . Skmething hallened and i feel it .

Hi Catherine! Yes, that chicken is cute. All your items are nice, but I especially love that pink blanket. Funny, I spent some time on that same story in my broadcast. But I had a little different twist I shared. Have a blessed week! 🤗

You look so nice 😁(btw love the video)

Wonderful!! I'm a Christian and it is so good to find a Christian crocheter !

I am 68 years old and a male and always had inklings of sexual abuse. I was abused in other ways and had two hospitalizations for suicide ideation. One evening recently I watched a clip from an old All in the Family episode where she -Gloria had been sexually abused and the tears started flowing and went on for quite sometime. Now I am having memories of my mom disrobing in front of me as a child and once completely when I was 10 years old. The sexual innuendo was thick in my growing up years. Anyway being male and older like me is kind of awkward as it seems more females are victims. But it seems I am grieving now. Just thought I would throw that out there.

I started therapy about a year ago, and through the process, I remembered that I was molested by a man whom I used to play with when I was about 6 or 7. I’m a 45 year old man now, but had substance abuse issues throughout my teens (started drinking alcohol when I was 11, heroin when I was 12…), so a lot of older memories had been dulled, and I went on trying to fix my dysfunctional life. I would work hard to get opportunities and self sabotage, due to anxiety and depression, low self worth etc. besides being molested, I have had other significant traumas throughout my youth, and I’m certainly these played a role in my often dysfunctional ability to cope with life, which was often dismissed by adults as me being “lazy”. I have read comments from some people who have suffered sexual assault, who have said that when you experience something like that, it’s crystal clear and you don’t forget, and the repressed memories isn’t really a thing, which has made me second guess myself, and think I’m crazy. It’s hurtful to hear such things, because I feel like my pain is dismissed.

How did you cope with your families lack of care and empathy...I have the same 😢

I'm a man, but I understand that sensation of remembering something terrible happened, and not being able to retrieve it, until something triggers that memory. I just recently had a flashback of my uncle grooming me when I was little, the only thing I remember is him caressing my belly in an inappropriate way. And I'm very conflicted, because he was a man I help in high regard. Also, he's dead now, and my father too. Now I remember my sister telling me our father touched her, but he's dead as well, and our mother doesn't give a hoot about it I guess my family was screwed up from the start.

Thank you for making these videos, they are so helpful. I have been wondering about the possibility of being sexually abused as a child for years, but I’ve pushed it away convincing myself that there’s no way something that terrible could have happened since I have no actual memory of it. But I’ve had a pattern since I was a young teenager of having an incredibly negative terror and panic and depression response to any serious romantic attention, even if I cognitively want it. Like, when someone tries to offer me physical or even just emotional affection in a romantic context, I go completely round the bend and instinctively want nothing to do with them even if I really liked them before. The first time someone asked me out I ended up sobbing on the floor as soon as they left, rocking back and forth and compulsively repeating “I’m sorry, it’s not my fault” with no clue why. I’ve steered clear of relationships since then until just last week, at which point I had my first kiss and even though in the moment I wanted it, right afterward I went into full panic mode and have been an emotional wreck ever since. The guy gave me a gift for Valentine’s Day and I literally can’t look a it without feeling immense dread and sadness. I don’t have an explanation for any of this. Yesterday my mom told me that she thinks I was very likely abused by a family member as a young child. Now I’m doing frantic research and swinging wildly between denial and impostor syndrome and surety that it’s true plus a lot of other bizarre memories and emotions. All that to say, thank you for the love and information you are spreading, and if anyone reads this comment all the way through, I would greatly appreciate if you would be willing to offer a prayer. God is my only hope in this situation and my faith is teetering.

Thank you so much for this video

Everybody knows.

my soul feels raped I am submerged in darkness please Jesus, heal me and turn my life around in beautiful miraculous ways

I've always wondered if something happened to me as a child, I was hypersexual at a young age, would say innapropriate things to my family members, wrote some really insanely awful stories about r*pe in my diary, when i don't even think i had a solid grasp on what sex was. I have no idea how to approach this. My gut has told me for years that something bad happened that my brain has blocked out. Ive had mental health issues for most of my life, sexual dysfunction too, i'm pretty much asexual. Idk I want to understand the gaps in my memory, my childhood is a complete blur but I've always attributed that to my mum being mentally and physically abusive (not in a sa way just like hitting) i don't know i've been scouring the internet looking for some sort of explanation.

I have an issue, you can write a book on it and keep the money. I need someone to hear me please. I had MINE covered up by a TBI agent that was father of my first lovely bf. I’ve stayed quiet 17 yrs. He set me up to think I deserved horrific treatment…I wanna figure that out. I do therapy weekly but this guys HIGH up in gov, and yet I’m still a liar.. Thank you

I love the scarf too. It’s perfect length

Hi Catherine. Love the sweater. Purple is my daughter’s favorite color

Oh my, your striped child's sweater is the cutest! Enjoyed relaxing with this episode. Your are easy to listen to and knit along with. Best wishes! (Margaret of My Wonderful Knitting Life podcast)

Hi Catherine, very good pod cast. see ya soon

I was kidnapped and assaulted when I was a late teen, and I blocked out part of it that I remembered later.

Hi! I loved spending time with you today. Video shows the same view I had of you today!

Recently I had a series of trauma happening to me. From a fire incident, to practically loosing my room, getting my abandoned issue bejng triggered harshly, and fear of disappointing the people around me. It was so bad that I dissociated a lot, like an out body experience, then constant anxiety, random panick attacks, difficulty in sleeping, nightmares, and severe suicidal thoughts. Then somewhere along the line after about 2 months, while i was reflecting about myself and my past, i suddenly remembered what my cousin said about how she caught my other cousin that was about to sexually assault me. I remembered when she told me that I had no memories of it at all. I didnt try to ask her questions too and brushed it off because I felt uncomfortable since we were surrounded by my other cousins and my brother. The cousin that supposedly about to do something bad werent there but still. Recently, whenever i think about it i think about it, the more i feel more uncomfortable. Because i think something did happen, i just dont remember. Then while I was recalling my sexual experiences, which isnt a lot, I remember when my partner did a certain sexual act which was my first and I felt uncomfortable. It didnt feel new. It felt like i had known that feeling. Even during the act, i kept trying on remembering where I knew that feeling, but i just thought that maybe it was when i had done it myself. But it also makes a lot of sense as to why i behaved the way i did growing up. I always felt scared, and super uncomfortable if my legs where touched. I thought it was because of a dream i had but, what if i had that nightmare because of what happened? Once my friend touched me and i got incredibly scared . I think he even asked me if i was ever SA’d but since I didnt know, I just said no. Another thing is the fact that i always felt like i need to hide myself and my body. I was always on guard. I was afraid of how other people looked at me. My mom also taught me how ovulation works and all, how to defend myself, when i was below 10. I didnt understand why she kept telling me those things but I just listened. Then today i was trying to remember again, but i couldnt. My body refused to. I ended up dissociating again and felt anxious for the rest of the day. It’s incredibly cold right now but im sweating. I think, the more i recall and put the pieces together, the more i feel like i was sexually assaulted by that cousin. It also makes sense why i thought that same sex relationship was normal (well now i do think it is normal) even though I was brought up in an incredibly traditional household and culture.

Hi Catherine! Nice lot of donations!

I needed this message today -- God Bless You

excellent !!!!!!

I like the scarf you've got on ❤

I needed your podcast tonight. Thank you for sharing what God gave you to say tonight. It was for me.

Initially I liked your channel, and then I heard 32:55 and was disgusted. Blaming and manipulating victims. Disgusting. A fundamentalist church lured me in, exploiting my psychological vulnerabilities from child abuse and lack of being loved well, and it sounded very much like you at that part. Left me with religious trauma that I fortunately overcame. Disgusting. A loving God would not look at people this way. And I do believe in Jesus. Just because we’re sinners, doesn’t mean we don’t deserve anything good, and only God’s wrath etc. That a disgusting lie many Christians have bought into. They think God’s love is far more conditional than it really is, and many have a Stockholm-syndrome-infused understanding of God. 33:25 There are various things that might be “holding people back”, including trauma, so don’t make it seem as if victims are rejecting God from their own rebellious free will, or sinful pride, or whatever. They were deeply hurt in childhood - and I daresay psychologically/emotionally/spiritually raped + had their attachment to father/mother brutally exploited - so don’t you dare imply that victims are somehow wrong for “holding back from God”. These are people with deep attachment wounds. Also, a lot of survivors were abused into not developing healthy self-esteem, and Christian evangelism of this misguided nature only makes it worse. God wants us to develop healthy self-esteem, not view ourselves as dirty sinners who are utterly nothing apart from him. We have goodness in us too. I find that God is far more insightful, understanding, and compassionate to me and my aversion to the church than you sound. I’m leaving this comment for victims who might be watching from a vulnerable place. God loves you exactly as you are and he understands how your past influenced you. I love Jesus but talking about Christianity to trauma survivors needs to look very different from how it’s normally done (how you’re doing it).

When you talk about “confessing your sins” and stuff, I think it’s important for vulnerable and traumatised individuals watching this to take into account the sins of those who hurt them. Victims of all kinds of childhood trauma often internalise and view themselves as guilty/bad etc. without realising what was done to them. Before talking to victims about “confessing your sins”, you should talk about God’s protectiveness of children who were victimised by adults. I’ve had it with people trying to exploit victims to “repent” when they’re vulnerable. It’s how I got sucked into a fundamentalist church that initially brought comfort and then later more fear, anxiety, and religious trauma.

17:45 "Sin multiples" totally echoes my insights too.

14:48 I have an honest question! Do you have any insight into why, if Jesus has the ability to intervene in our lives to heal us and make us whole, why God doesn't rescue children who pray and cry out to him during the years of repeated abuse? They too ask for help but don't seem to get it. Genuine question.

14:00 I also want to add that the anger is a necessary and important part of the grieving process when it comes to trauma and abuse. We HAVE to go through that angry/rageful stage -- because that's what helps us to stop protecting our perpetrators and start protecting ourselves -- but of course, we do not stay in that stage forever. That said, we don't have to pressure ourselves to put an end to that angry stage/ end it as quickly as possible. We have to feel it. Once we feel and process the anger, we are naturally freed/released from it -- just don't allow it to consume you or deceive you into doing bad things.

I was looking for a Christian voice that was loving and true -- and not like so much of the noise out there, and I think spirit heard my subconscious prayers and sent you my way. This has become an avenue for me to learn about Christianity from a trustworthy voice! (I had grown up in a "Christian" environment that was unloving, judgemental, and misguided -- a lots of fancy theological discussions, but not much insight). You seem to have insight!

Hey Dr Catherine, do you have any insights into NDEs? I never had one but I've heard others talk about this. Are these things real? Thank you ❤