Self Lies - How You Lie to Yourself - Self Deception
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 16 ธ.ค. 2016
- You may not be aware of this yet, but the degree to which you're capable of self-deception is remarkable. I would be willing to bet that the average person tells a self-lie, once or twice every minute. It is the mechanism that enables us to identify with our self-concept and truly believe we are who we've come to think of ourselves as. It's what enables us to see ourselves as a collection of ideas.
I found this out seven years ago, during my experiences of ego-transcendence (temporary not permanent). I no longer cared for my self-concept and saw that it didn't matter and had no correlation to reality. So, it became immediately clear in my zooming out from my personal self, how often I had to lie to myself to convince myself that the traits I ascribed to myself and my relationship to reality were true.
And when I saw that they were not true and that they needed no protection, it was immediately liberating. So, in this video, I explain what a self-lie feels like and sounds like. I know that I was completely shocked when I found out that most of my thoughts about myself were complete fabrications. So, I wager that most people have little idea that they're doing this... and even if they do know, they're not quite sure how to pick it out. So, that's what this video is for.
It's all about getting a feel for the unique flavors of self-deception. I also include examples of how self-lies sound.
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Thank you Emerald ways
Emerald do you think writing essays will help distinguish the self deception?
I’m glad your ego is fooling you into thinking you need approval from your public. It motivates you to create some amazing content that I am really enjoying!
Thank you
I like how also your ego wrote this message like mine did😁😁
You know, I've discovered recently that I have some narcissistic impulses. Even found out that I did lots of times to be better by repressing others, making them bad. Showed myself like a such holier-than-thou person with jerk attitudes, later finding that it was self-lies to compensate some inferiority complex due to narcissism. The more I understand myself - the more trickier I find the ways how ego tries to delude me. Like this mechanism works in some kind of dys-synergistic manner - instead of intergrating, it occasionally wreaks havoc. Though, I suppose with knowing and understanding come the other perception of things. Thanks, Emerald, your channel is quite useful to understand myself better!
This has been more enlightening than anything I've heard or read from Alan Watts. I really dig it, thanks.
Thank you Emerald, you really light up my blindspot on self-concept. I got huge pressure of maintain my "wise", "intelligence" self-concept which trap me in a emotional deadloop. Your way of thought is therapeutic for me. Thank you so much.
I can not stop watching this video. It makes me understand myself so much. It's even more powerful watching it the third thru seventh time. This actually helps me deal with others so much more effectively. Emerald, thank you. Oh how I wish I would have had these videos to watch when I was 18 or 19. Still at 69 years old you have helped me understand so many others that I knew over my lifetime. After watching your videos, I just like to be quiet and alone to just think about the ideas in your video. And when I'm done thinking, I want to go back and view it again. And I feel so happy, and lucky to be who I am, even though I will never reach a 100th of your level of consciousness. You make me feel as if I am the only person you're talking to; as if your entire TH-cam cnannel was created just to instruct me how to think in a better way. May God bless you as you have blessed me.
You're the only person she's talking to... You're talking to yourself.
Have you ever considered putting these into Podcast form.? Would love to listen on the go too. :)
It's expensive, but one option is TH-cam Premium where you can use the TH-cam app to play videos essentially as podcasts (yes you can lock your phone and it will keep playing).
@@gggrow well, everything has a price if she wants to get more listeners.
You are awesome. Your videos have helped me to understand myself. Big eye opener. It is surprising how much I lie to myself. Thank you for taking the time to do these videos.
Thank you and you're welcome! I'm glad to hear that my videos have been of help to you!
This video got psychedelic for me at some points and there were so many self deceptions that were unraveled in my experience during watching it that it became clear to me how exactly right you were when you said the amount of self lies going on in 99.9% of people's minds is astounding. There's so much more to uncover from here....
This is soooo good. I totally identify as a hard working person and if I ever sit or "waste time" I loathe myself.
Sitting under a beautiful oak tree.. watching a butterfly.. experiencing the universe...
Wonderful Day Dreams
Your insight and intellect are Amazing!! Keep becoming more you and thank you for sharing!! Blessings
This is a fantastic video.
I learned a lot of these concepts from my study of Buddhism.
I also found that I was lying, outwardly but more to myself to build this ego and false sense of self. Letting go of that need to and accepting me for me was incredibly liberating and energizing. And it completely changed my world.
Wow you’re so intelligent and introspective! I’ve been working with this ideal recently. It’s so important to me. I am really beginning to be able to grasp this. When I am lying to myself or at all I begin to feel this intense emotional upset I am usually in a pretty stable state emotionally(which is very new for me lol)
But I’m so grateful for the fact I can even begin to see my own lies. Internal and external. It’s like self preservation or something.
I’ve always sought to live in love and truth. To be agape love. But I was seeking instead of accepting.
You’re a great light for this world! Thank you.
Love your authenticity and insight. Peace, love and light 🙏💫♡
I’ve come across your channel in May 2020 and so glad that I’ve found you. Thank you for sharing your vast knowledge and being you! 🌹🥰
I’m so blown away by your self work. Ur truly an inspiration. Thank you.
Wow, you are goooood. Damn. So inspiring to see you beam out the gnosis you have contacted
Thank you so much Emerald, you are wonderful!
You're a breath of fresh air. Listening to you validates the skills I learned and practice , I have transformed. Yet, my kids, family continue to dehumanize me. I embrace and love myself for All my failures, mistakes , . I thought I wanted their recognition and acceptance, I thought I'd be embraced , instead the opposite happened. Sure it stung , yet, I'm completely understanding they have their path
I'm still having ruminating thoughts of a reunion filled with love. Thank you for reminding me I don't have to push the thoughts away but simply watch my thoughts. I look forward to the new awareness your lectures will offer me. I asked my Council of 5, to bring me love in my life. For 18 yrs I practiced waiting. Along that journey, the miracles I experienced were profound. I'm in a good place now, to listen more. You speak to my Soul. I'm so so grateful. The past few weeks I got into some frightening areas in my head. To my credit, I was seriously I'll with Influenza, hospitalized for 4 days . From Jan 1 till Feb 14, I was very I'll. Maybe I was patient 0, ??? Lol, I wasnt in China.
When I watch your videos I wonder what books you read when you were younger that led you to the knowledge you have today? When I was a teenager I read a lot of Carlos Castaneda. As I grew older I repressed that as being of little worth. But once I discovered Jungian psychology I realized how important reading Castaneda had really been and that I'd come full circle.
Shes a jungian
A warrior knows he is only a man.. his only regret is that life is so short that he can't grab into it all the things that he would like to.. but for him.. this is not an issue.. it's only a pity...
Wonderful Day Dreams
Thank you for sharing your insights and understands. I've watched several of your videos and you've given me a new perspective on the universe. So selfless and generous of you to share these videos for free. You are helping to liberate many people from their suffering.
You're welcome. :D I'm glad that my videos have been of help to you. To be fair and honest though, I do make some money off my videos through ads. But I'm glad that I can give away the information without charging anyone directly. I truly hope to lessen the suffering of the world, as these insights have helped me ease my own suffering. So, I wanted to create a channel that I would have liked to have had access to during my darkest times where I was confused or stuck. The psyche can be a labyrinth, infinitely interesting but also infinitely confounding. Thank you for this message!
The Diamond Net if enlightened you would not see suffering
Emerald I know this will feed into your ego and let my own idealiserrrerrr archetype or what have you run amok but my god I love your videos. With the speed you talk, I'm thrilled with myself that I keep up 😂Resonates so much and when I see that little grin when you're recognising your own inner ego being the opposite to its humble notions it makes me laugh to myself. At this precise moment I look forward to speaking again, two seconds from now, who knows. 😁
You blew and opened my mind. Thank you very much!
(PS: I'm eager to see the Identification vid!)
You're welcome! I'm glad to heart hat you liked the video. The identification video was posted back in October or November, so you should be able to find it there. :D
I LOVE YOUR VIDEOS. Please keep doing them.
You're an excellent teacher and the bits of yourself that you share are powerful, thanks.
Throughout my young adolesence, I struggled with my self esteem and my looks. As a result I imagined a verison of myself who was without the self percieved flaws. Drugs and alcohol allowed me to become that person. As I have grown and faced life honestly in my young adulthood, it was both a lie that i did and did not have the flaws. The truth seems to be somewhere in between.
This is certainly a flawless explanation of subtle self deceptions or lies, that people often tell themselves.
The little i self of the ego, that always boasts about itself as individually superior to all else, thriving on the unknowing minds that lack awareness from having no knowledge of the ego in oneself, let alone in others. (Therefore anyone would indeed walk down death's path, with a lack of know-ledge, that was the cause of perishing )
Understanding does obtain realizations in everything, but without patient's wed with understanding , it will not have time to obtain any knowledgeable details of the reality of anything, let alone the matter of egos identifications in anyone for them to overcome it.
Thanks again for another excellent video uploaded to us all, we appear to be in oneness on the agreement of what you say.
Thank you and you're welcome! Your point reminds me of another that I made in an earlier video. We tend to get in subtle competitions based in arbitrarily and secretly chosen values. Like, a person who is a sophisticate might compete to be the most sophisticated against other people who have no idea that the competition is going on. Those people may even believe sophistication to be a bad thing.
That is very much so, The whole world has certainly had its experience in this matter at one time or another concerning everyone of us born into it.
Nevertheless those who seem to compete out of ego in unawares, do certainly ramp themselves up, to like a semi true version of themselves at strong levels above many others. But they never truly become the greatest above all others in their selfishness.
Sophistication also is indeed just one of many victims of egos blunderings, of the name of sophistications true examples which are against ego.
You are absolutely brilliant! No-one "gets it" like you do .
Thanks this is spot on, I saw a lot of my own and other peoples behaviours in this.
I listen, watch and do my best to understand what it is that you are discussing. I also find myself admiring your physical attractiveness. Thanks for great videos.
Nice work. Thank you for sharing the direction 😉
Shadow Work affected me greatly.
Thank you, seriously.
thank you for another great talk.
I feel like this is so important to know for everyone, yet even the privileged seem to miss these revelations.
My God I love this stuff. I think you're ahead of your time for sure.
I teach this girl how to play some metal riffs on guitar, and this is how she thanks me?!?!?!?!
Haha! :D
You should enjoy being part of the dialogue...
Obviously you made some kind of impression...
Wonderful Day Dreams
Very honest account of your own potential self-deception at the end there! :-)
The absolute base of Bruce Lee's Jeet Kune DO expressed as simply and profoundly as the Dragon himself!
You are really good at this!! please keep going!!
After a traumatic separation and an existential crisis (just learned that phrase from your video ) and starting to practice radical open mindedness and being as honest about myself and everything as possible,I have become a completely different person and my friends DO NOT understand it at all, i feel like if I could defeat my very long standing drug problem then I could be a cool person
You already are a cool person. Don't let the drug use be your identity. Recognize it, accept it, don't hate yourself for it. Just get help. Find a replacement for it. Don't just try to kick it without any padding to fall down on. Whatever foods or hobbies or anything other than the chemicals that you can truly use to give you a relatively similar level of joy and calm and control then use it. Replace your addiction with something that isn't hard drugs. Pizza and psychology and therapy videos and music is doing well for me. It's not gonna be easy but don't beat yourself up if you go back and get high once or twice after a couple of weeks or a month or whatever. Just recognize it again, accept it again and replace it again. When the feeling that you want to go use again comes back just try this also. Take a sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle. On one side, write down a few little and big things you have control over. I'd recommend putting down being able to obtain a replacement of whatever you prefer to use to get high. For me I'd put getting pizza. Meeting a work deadline. Continuing with my therapy techniques. Starting another savings account for whatever. And very importantly, the ability to not go and obtain drugs. On the other side write down what you don't have control over. The weather. Other people's opinions and feelings. (IMPORTANT) My brain telling me I want to get high. The rising price of pizza. The lack of a Little Caesars in my town. Now focus on each side and truly understand that one side is in your hands as far as controlling it goes. The other side, there's nothing you can do about that side. It's out of your hands. So tear it in half at that line and let that side that you can't control go. The other side, fold it up and stick it in your pocket or tack it to a wall or corkboard or anywhere you want to as long as you can continue to focus on what you can control. You got this. Find a replacement and write those control points on paper when you need to. It does well for me.
@@kennethhoopaugh8375 thank you so much, that's very kind of you
I will take it on board
You are so humble....yet full of superior knowledge n wisdom.
I think you gal shld brag much......
Love you channel.
Keep up....
Hi Emerald, another really interesting video. This is similar to what Sartre called Bad Faith which is a form of self deception. It made me think of the quote “ No prison can constrain us like the one we know not we are in”. In other words if we are restricting ourselves through self deception that we are not aware of then we can’t change.
You’re awesome thank you for your videos 🙏🏾❤️
“By this method thousands of humans have been brought to think that humility means pretty women trying to believe they are ugly and clever men trying to believe they are fools. And since what they are trying to believe may, in some cases, be manifest nonsense, they cannot succeed in believing it and we have the chance of keeping their minds endlessly revolving on themselves in an effort to achieve the the impossible.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters
“True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.”
― C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity
I'm not saying anything about levels, but there is a reason I watch your videos. Keep being awesome!
I think its not a matter of elevating or diminishing our self image, we shouldn't address our self image at all.
Or clever women and pretty men! Even the examples the man used are angled
Thank you again ! Your vídeo helps me a lot ! I like the way you express your thouths and your ideias cause that helps me to Sort myth ideias and thouths as well !!!
I adore you and share all your content with close friends and family.
That experience of disillusion u described would b my definition of sainthood/enlightenment/Nirvana. Wish there was a way to permanently sustain that. 😇😶🌫️😌
I always enjoy watching your videos :)
Thanks Emerald!
My ego tells me it was very good for me to watch this video. That's a lie, but at the same time I think it's still positive. This is probably also a lie. Ok i'm lost now.
Wow. Amazing insight. I am not lying now ;)
Love this. Thanks.
the best content on this topic, for my brain at least , thank you
Thank you so much🙏🏻❤️
Great work Emerald :))
omgosh thank you so much for this. it is something im currently working on :D
Thank you, angel.
Very interesting, thank you.
You are one of the most articulate people I have come across. Your insights are very helpful. Would you be able to do a video on the negative feminine archetype? (Such as Medusa or the devouring mother, etc.) I feel like I have been stricken by the negative feminine archetype through constant rejection by women, abandonment, betrayal and also not having my own mother present in my life from the age of one to five.
Im lying to myself right now:-)
We can not fully fix ourselves with knowledge, though knowledge is important but it only takes us so far, our only solution is Return To Maker for defective parts.
I think it's hardest not to lie to myself about my feelings when I have mixed feelings about things. I'm usually aware of both feelings, but it takes a lot of meditation on my feelings to figure out just how much is one feeling and how much is another. I don't seem to really move past something until I find all the truly genuine details of how I'm feeling. The good news is no matter how rough the circumstance, I can usually get past it once I dig deep and do that.
That's great. :) Mixed feelings are difficult to deal with too. But I do want to make the distinction between having mixed feelings and outright lying to yourself. So, mixed feelings would be like, you can't choose between two alternatives because you like them equally for different reasons. A self lie relative to having mixed feelings would be like, convincing yourself that you like one significantly more than the other to avoid making a difficult decision where you feel like you're missing out.
Very good advice @ 11:00, to avoid "absolutist" thinking... in so many categories... time-wise &/or circumstances. The novelist George Eliot wrote re: self-deception in one of her works, maybe Middlemarch.
amazing video, thanks!
Thank you and you're welcome!
Thank you for your videos I'm want to grow as a person and just looking for a better path walk.
Well you're more helpful and wise than any psychologist/psychiatrist that I've met combined.
Thank you! :) I'm glad that my videos have been of help. Though I do think there are enormous benefits to speaking with a psychologist or psychiatrist one on one, I do recognize that most are focused toward simply coping with psychological problems or (in the case of psychiatrists) dealing with physiological disorders that effect the brain. So, it's now somewhat uncommon to find a psychologist who is focused toward reintegration of the Shadow and self-deception and other such topics. It's considered kind of old-school. But they are worth searching for. They do exist. I considered seeing a psychologist when I was in my early 20s and I was able to find a few in my area who were focused toward depth psychology.
Thank you for your honest. :)
"In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act" - George Orwell...maybe.
It was George Orwell for sure. :) I always liked that quote.
Historians don't really know if he did or didn't but it doesn't matter it's basically a summation of the point of his book in a sense. But I guess the point of my using this quote is that it seems rather difficult to maintain honesty on any level in a society which promotes, fosters and enables this sort of self deceptive behavior. If one is unable to be honest with themselves seems a small step in logic to assume that they won't be able to be honest with anyone else. I've read a book called 'Culture of Narcissism' by Christopher Lasch a number of times, it was a NYT best seller. It revealed some "truth" and it wasn't pretty and it seems rather contradictory to evolve in a society in which any participation will be an indoctrination and a deeper descent into State controlled slavery.
That may be true but that doesn't mean that what he said is false. Maybe you think we live in a time of universal truth and telling lies is revolutionary act but I would say most intelligent awake people would say this is exactly the delusion the majority of people are suffering from. But if you know the quote then you would also know that nobody is sure that Orwell said that or not or that he said something similar and people attribute the quote to him. This is why I put a "maybe" on the end but only those well schooled in Orwell would know that, maybe he didn't say that at all.
oh yeah this is gunna be a fun one, cant wait
:)
The Diamond Net
Your mind will do whatever necessary to keep you going. To keep you in a positive and alpha mind state.
"Blessed are the poor in spirit" . . . maybe this means someone who rejects the lies of their ego and faces the truth about themselves.
Bless you kid.
What humanity needs is a new nature out of which we can live, knowledge is a wonderful lie to self transformation it does have value but it's very limited, for the most part the hope it promises is a lie.
Thank you!
You look Hellenic(Greek), and you sound like a philosopher. Your videos have really been helping me put things into context and perspective, thank you.
It's easy to tell the lie . but hard to tell the TRUTH..
JUST BE HONEST!😇❤👍
I just opened up a Patreon account for The Diamond Net. Anyone who's interested in pledging to my channel in exchange for rewards, click the link below:
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I started arpeggios when you started talking about playing the instrument of life... synchronicity?...perhaps
Thank you emrald
Bravo!
You and I seem to agree on alot of things. This video basically talks about what I've adopted as my own personal religion.
It's good to hear from people who have similar experiences. I think that issues like these are little talked about but widely experienced. I find it helps to get them articulated as it helps strengthen internal awareness in myself, and hopefully others too. :D
The Diamond Net I keep hearing people say the same thing you said in this episode that it's difficult to know how to know the truth about self. Which is something I find really hard to understand why? I find it to be the easiest thing in the world, in the beginning it's bitter and painful to hear the truth about self but the process itself I find to be very straightforward. Can you explain plz
The truth is great and mighty
Good thoughts
Good words
Good deeds
I think this is when It starts to be confusing because we could sum up with ok then there is nothing to do, to improve. When we mix thé non-doing with being it becomes confusing. Maybe as a human we have to live with a good balance between the two. Same as having a good balance between material and spiritual, ego and non-self etc...
I myself lie to myself all the time about whether or not I'm not hungry, and that's no lie
THANK YOU!!!!
You're welcome! :)
Thanks so much for making your videos! This gives me so much to work on. Are you familiar with Byron Katie and her method of inquiry called The Work? If not I think you would really like it based on so many of your videos about questioning your thoughts. I love watching the videos of her working with people through their judgments on their “Judge Your Neighbor Worksheet” which is the basis for doing The Work. I’ve done it a handful of times and each time it really opens my heart up.
@28:30 How do you reconcile this with then being complacent? This is where I feel I struggle.. not judging it as then being enabling. Thanks for the insights Emerald!
Recommended!
Hi, i am already a fan of this channel, thanks for sharing your knowledge.
About lying to yourself when you are feeling bad: if somebody offends you and you try to rationalise and think why you get offended about what was said, am i lying? Because i feel that feeling offended and sad is also part of our judgment about others people behavior, so if we take this judgment off, why would we cry and feel sad?
And about judging others peoples behavior, i feel that this should be the right thing to do, but at the same time i feel that i would not be in command to realize what is good or bad for me: if somebody treats you in a way that you considered bad, whats the limit in which you can forgive?
I am trying to incorporate these concepts in the way i live, but sometimes i feel that i would get kind of numb by doing it, i am sure that is something i dont understand completely.
Thanks, bye
“ No one ever thinks of themselves as the bad guy…”
Billie:
Haha! :D
Made me think a lot, guess there is a lot to be done (or not hehehe)
Ironically someone might proceed to lie, when they like you as a person and are trying to impress.
I really like your videos Emerald. I am curious though what makes you so sure that who we are is arbituary?
keeping it wheel, 33:40. really insightful thank you
My problems seem to be the same as what your own under your trauma video. I am very misunderstood by people because of social patterns. I don't get what those patterns are and why I don't fit in yet. "weird" is the identity that I don't like but that comes from my quietness and not knowing what to say because I am always taken so wrong but I can't point to what's wrong for a therapist to help me and they all get frustrated or get too confrontive on things that I don't accept and they believe they are seeing a denial because they are misdirected because I don't know how to direct them right. Did that make sense? I think it does for you. Can you help me with your thoughts and experience? My trauma and major issues usually hit me when I get ready to sleep and I fear dreams anymore because they take me back to places I want to forget. I am very emotional and getting disturbingly worse.
All great thinkers are wrong, and being a petty philosopher allows for more honesty. It takes a lot of ego to achieve great fame, and therein lie pitfalls. For example, S. Freud was profoundly right but also profoundly wrong. Marx too. Long live open-ended dialectics.
Hehehehe been talking bullshit to myself for years.
No more living like that for me.
Thought I was a good person. Like attracts like.
Over half my family are Narcissist.
Most of my friends I was brought up with are Narcissist and I always told myself a lie to the bullshit they did/ said to me. Let them off.
The devil got me good!
But I'm walking on the mud now.
Was to busy looking up to much. Now I see around me.
Thanks. Blessed is your Husband.
10:00, 19:35, 24:16, 29:50, 32:50
you mentioned constant lies, but what were the lies you told yourself? was expecting to hear a long list of the lies you've told yourself -- a couple of self examples were given, but mostly; hypothetical; billions of lies? -- nice video, thanks, excellent -- very abstract.