This is so me … never being chosen by anyone for 23 years. And for the first time I was chosen, I couldn’t embrace it. I sent people away. I’m now 26, a man chose me but I made him suffer. Now I’m trying to heal and to have him back. I know it’s a bad idea but I still want to give it a try…. I’m crazy
@@nou5187-f7ni understand exactly what you were feeling lol. i was never chosen all my life as well and when recently, i did, i pushed them away because that wasn’t what i was used to. i couldn’t accept the change and i hurt people. i’m trying to heal now as well. you’re not crazy at all; although that’s what i always say to myself as well haha. we’re in this together!! we can do this!! best of luck!!
This is strange... My subconscious already did that for me. One night I dreamt I was at my ex's funeral. She came from the afterlife for just one last moment together with me, where we had fun and cuddled, and then she disappeared. I woke up feeling absolutely devastated, before realising she was still alive, and that was a good thing, that I was grateful for all along. Next night I had a dream about a little boy, who was constantly running after me for attention, and I felt weird, but I did comfort him and tell him it's going to be okay. Just now I realised the little boy was me. And I pretty much got over this person in two nights, thanks to a nightmare.
after the breakup if you have dreams about your ex partner's death or funeral, it is a huge sign that you've moved on. it is a psychological process where the subconscious mind tries to stop thinking about them when you are awake and in the dream, the subconscious mind tries to bury the negative emotions by showing that they are dead. I, myself dreamt several times where I killed my ex partner. Even the sudden disappearance or fading away of your ex partner in the dream represents that your mind is processing the loss and you have acknowledged the fact that they are no longer in your life. infact it's a great achievement if you are coping up with a heartwrenching breakup.
That is just rubbish what you say. Imagining is basically creating your reality and with imagination people get creative. Defining imagination as an issue is toxic af.
Girls, there's so much more beneath the surface. Explore the book Women’s Magic Truths and discover what you’ve been missing. You’ll thank me for this one!
Back when I was tik tok for like one month I looked up the profile of this guy I used to not be able to get over. I’d had a crush on him since high school and we hung out a lot just never actually dated even though I was obsessed. Back then he was this Lumineers woodsy outdoorsy skinny white boy that was so hipster and cool. He had one video on his tik tok. It was ten years later. He was dressed like a trailer park gangster and sitting on the toilet (I’m assuming) he just rips this long fart staring right into the camera the whole time. I’m like… wow yep that about does it the allure is gone. 😂 Why of all things?
@@JPcommunicates it's not a matter of right or wrong. It gets so tiring and sometimes even painful. I do go for walks, though they don't really help. Talking to someone? That won't do, I don't have anything to talk about. And noone to talk to.
@franacha I understand you, I've felt lonely for a while and it can be extremely hard... One thing I do that really helps is to write. Even if you don't want to sometimes, if you make it a habit to write down your feelings, and to go a little deep as if you were talking to a friend, you might feel much better afterwards. I know it makes me feel less lonely, I feel like I have a friend in myself, I can also look back on what I wrote from time to time and see where I'm at right now, see if anything changed or didn't. It makes me feel less lonely and honestly better. And you have to keep hope, you really do !! You might always find people who are good to you ❤
@@franacha I know dear.. I am dealing with the exact same situation.. Just loneliness and trying to hold or hoard onto whatever is thrown my way.. but eventually nothing works... I have to be comfortable in my own company..
I watched this 5 min video over span of 30 mins. Pausing crying bawling blowing nose. Where were u girl!?!?!.!? Where were u for the past 15 years!?!?!.,? I think with only 1 time use I solved like 90%of my problems. Grateful and thankful from my inner child ❤❤❤
For real, at first it was really painful, I shed tears, but after comforting that inner child I felt completely void of feelings for my ex, it really works!
How do I deal with someone where she just gave me signs and wanted to talked but never talked but everything was communicated just by looking at each other. _or am I a dumbfock and delusional?_
This made me cry like a baby! Just the thought of my adult self soothing the lonely child and taking care of her is sooo refreshing! I think if I keep visualizing it, it'll help me go through the hard breakups, ghosting, and harsh reality of being left! because there is me for me!
Never been chosen for 27 years. Never been loved enough to be someone else's significant other. Whom I loved, i loved alone and watched them loving someone other. Now i come to realize that may be this is my test, the loneliness. And i have to embrace it. I have to stop seeking for love and take the responsibility of myself.
i thought this as a random short to watch, then it made me cry! I never knew my inner child needed this. Appreciate you so much for this content. Thank you for sharing your expertise ❤
Wow! This meditation just fixed a deep rooted feeling that i‘ve been struggling with for years… my inner child was feeling extremely unprotected and vulnerable . I felt it as a strong pain in the chest, shoulders , head, skin all over.. so i held and caressed the child and gave it the love and protection it craved… lots of crying.. afterwards i just felt at peace, the presence or absence of the other person was unimportant. Amazing and sooo helpful . Thank you so much ! ❤
Delusional feelings based on trauma go deep. Trauma might be profound and trauma means you have delusional irrational unhelpful convictions/reactions/schemas.
Correct. When it's failure to realize a positive (unconditional love/true intimacy and connection) , rather than fear of a negative (self-esteem, abandonment) - it makes no sense. The two still lost the chance for the highest peak of human experience (assuming there was full reciprocation, at least at some point, until one decided they had to go).
You made me realize why I fantasize about being chosen and then declining someone. And when it happened, I declined, but to this day fantasize about them, 15 years later! I don't want THEM, just the validation they represent in my mind and I didn't have from others. Thank you so much!
This thought is exactly the problem of individualism. We ARE relient on company, we are relient on love, we are ment to be together. Fantasizing is just your mind really loving a person and wanting to be with them and have a relationship. This is normal and shouldn't be suppressed but made into action
@joburinga616 can I suggest you take a deep breath and start from the beginning? This isn’t aimed at people in healthy, loving relationships. This isn’t about the uniquely human, often beautiful dynamic of interdependence. This isn’t about connection. It’s for people who find themselves obsessing over someone. And obsession is never healthy. Yet almost everyone, at some point in their life, finds themselves unproductively fixated on another person. Fortunately, obsession can be very instructive if we’re willing to do some self-examination, because it signals a place in our lives where we are not getting our needs met. The exercise described here is a way to uncover our true needs and work toward healing old wounds. While it can be frightening to sit with difficult memories, it is by learning to heal ourselves that we lay a foundation for forging strong and honest connections with others.
I ended up doing this meditation about a work situation that is stressful, linking it to my past/childhood - WOW. I cried again and released/processed a lot! This meditation is seriously so good - I’m so grateful!! I do stop the meditation a lot to think/feel longer, give my brain time to process what she’s saying, which helps a lot. Good luck healing, everyone ❤
This didn’t work for me. After I imagined them leaving the first time, I still felt a warmth because I knew that for a moment, I had those positive feelings reciprocated. Maybe it’s because I’ve loved and been loved and lost both before, but the thought of losing something good just makes me appreciate that good even if it’s in the past.
Grazie Francesca. I recently realized how important it was to love and protect my inner child. I started by watching pictures of myself as child and loving him as I was never loved before. Writing down on paper positive affirmations and celebrating the little things, not reacting anymore to the negativity others bring in my life, and looking also at myself in the mirror while doing so. It's really impressive how my mood improved, and even if I'm always more alone from others and more lonely...I am closer to myself again and that's what matters. Thanks for this video, dear Francesca, hugs from Italy 🇮🇹
🎯 Key points for quick navigation: 00:00 *⚠️ Imagine the person you're obsessing over giving you what you crave; notice the feelings it evokes in your body.* 01:10 *🌌 When imagining them gone, observe the void or pain they leave behind within yourself.* 02:19 *🧒 Comfort the inner child experiencing these sensations by imagining your adult self offering support and reassurance.* 03:54 *💖 Imagine giving your inner child the love and reassurance you seek from the person you're fixated on.* 04:53 *🔄 Observe how you feel when the person returns with the desired love or sensation, and notice any changes in intensity when they leave again.* Made with HARPA AI
I’ve been through psychotherapy off and on for many many years. I’ve even taken short courses on CBT and NLP. Never had anyone facilitated the process of healing the inner child , the way you just did. As a side note , your accent makes me want to listen to your videos endlessly :)
The inner child isn't harmed nor need to heal. The only thing what you can experience through life is not knowing what you need and desire and how to ask for it. You can learn about all that by observing yourself or by journalling.
OMG, you're amazing this is literally my first comment ever on any YT video.... You made this much easier and i feel relieved. Loads of love ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Feeling comfort. I guess I have been feeling anxious all my life and having someone just understanding me and telling me that it's ok. You are still loved even if you made a mistake ...
i cried while doing this... all my younger self needed was love and someone to hear her, hug and soothe her . I gave her all of it . When i imagined my ex coming back with all of it , it dint matter at all .I feel much better than i ever was. Thankyou Francesca!
Thank you so much Francesca. Many of these things i knew in theory but you made me really feel them! Once you realize it was all about external validation and how you can be kinder and more loving to yourself and you don’t need persons and things for that anymore, all that was holding you hostage seems just silly 😄😊
I am surprised how well this 5 min video worked and helped sooth so pain, calm the water that after years still gets rough from time to time. will come back here, surely
I get it..I have done this many times before and then the magic happens.. Remember, if you can be passionate about love and feel deeply, you can also stop fantasizing about someone who doesn't value your emotions. ❤
I cannot express how amazing this video is. Of the thousands and thousands of videos I’ve seen this short tutorial stood out greatly. Fascinating concept. Thank you so much!
I’m married and I love my husband. But a few weeks ago my mind started fantasizing about a men I work with. I talk to my self all the time “it’s ok, this feeling will pass away, it has no meaning” He is not flirting with me. But when I had to make a presentation for our company he ask me if I want to train my speech in front of him. His look was so intense in this moment I can’t speak properly.. I told my husband after it that I don’t feel good in our marriage. I miss the way he looked at me and I feel a leak of attention. He excuse himself to make me feel like this and started do invite my on date more regular again. I don’t know why I’m sharing this story. This is the way I stoped fantasying about someone …
That was absolutely right. I needed this. My younger self, for his entire life, had experienced loneliness and emptiness in his heart because of lack of love. This helps so much. Thank you!
Thank you. Lately I felt a deep fear of losing my mom, and losing support. I did not knew were it came from. But this video made me feel where this feeling came from. It was coming from my little younger me, when my mom dropped me off at daycare and I felt totally abandoned by her. Now I feel warm and loved and supported by me, that worked super quick. Im suprised. It feels so different right now. Thank you.
I stopped obsessing over people when I realized that the obsessions for the people are temporary and its more just me trying to fill a hole which doesn't need to exist in the first place, which aligns with what you described! Thank you for sharing this ❤
I remembered my 10-years-old self feeling abandoned by dad, knowing he’s cheating on mom. Then experiencing their divorce at thirteen, his marriage to another woman, the birth of their child, the intense jealousy I used to feel. Thanks, this did clear things up a bit.
Thank you... What's crazy is I embraced this feeling of loneliness and I was like... Bruhhh... I'm not lonely anymore... I have myself and like... I just learned this after 31 years... It took me a while but now... I feel free but thank you for giving me validation that I wasn't really looking for LOL. I'm glad you literally said everything I had just did literally last week! :) Keep spreading your light everybody!
Wow just wow. My inner child is crying out at first and then its as though a fire is being set ablaze in my heart that consumes everything and simultaneously bringing it back to life. I needed this. ❤
I kinda figured this out in a more shortcut way as I overcame my heartbreaks of losing my crushes in the past 4 years. But this goes way more in depth which is fantastic because it targets the specific, minute details to fine tune the reasonings behind the processes and sub-processes. Long story short, whenever I have a crush on someone, they don't last as long and I can handle the intensity and I'm aware that I'm fine if those feelings fade and/or the person isn't what I hoped they would be. And from that, I realise that none of us really know anyone we meet... and so we should ask ourselves who the person truly is before we lose ourselves into infatuation and overvalued hope, so that these latter feelings can be used and managed more handily. Now I see people, even people I may be interested in, more wholly and realistically and not simply put them on a pedestial. And then we understand that no one is perfect... it's just that some are more imperfect or less imperfect than others, and that we can live with that... with or without them. So instead of forcing an outcome of hope, go into it with the attitude and mindset of adventure and exploration of the good, bad and ugly. That is the human experience, both gross and beautiful in tandem, balanced or imbalanced. If it works out, brilliant. If not, this end will be a new beginning, a new learning and growing experience. That's when I realised that I looked after the child within me and I started to mature into an adult to begin to slowly but surely match my biological age. Seek others, as well as seeking yourself. And seek that all through God. Amen.
Wow, that work, thanks you Francesca I used to avoid someone attractive and helpful because of this I would continue to do this exercise to see if it would work in the long term.
Thank you so much for posting this! So concise and profoundly effective! As a Psychologist myself, I am excited to also recommend this to my clients! ❤
Francesca, i love this exercise so much and find it so helpful! thank you for sharing and helping so many of us heal. small suggestion: it would be nice to have longer pauses between your sentences in exercises like this that require conscious visualisation and thought from the listener. if you've ever done a guided meditation you know what I'm talking about!
Thank you. For last two weeks, I've been struggling with intrusing thoughts of my ex, who left me 8 months ago. I knew I was over him, yet those thoughts appeared. I was scared at first, but this video made me realize that it's not love for him, I just feel lonely and sad, which is connected to process of healing (dealing with complex trauma is hard, even if you have a support of therapist). I understand now it's not about him, but how he made me feel. I knew even back then, that this wasn't going to heal me, that just because he loved me, it woudl not made me feel less broken. That I had to give the love and acceptance to my inner child. Just had no idea how. But that helps a little. I will try for this to be my practice. It's going to be much better than looking for external validation anyway
It's so beautiful. I saw that I'm worthy and everybody has a worth. I explained my inner child it that everybody, also animals has an diamond in its heart (symbol for worthiness) , whether he or she is poor or rich. Humans and animals are worthy of being treated good. But sometimes people forget this diamond and they become sad and they can't see the diamond in other peoples heart. They must remember this diamond so their hearts become bright and warm and they can share this warmth with others. This is called love. 💎👩👧
Thankyou so much for giving a very amazing way to actually making me realise that we are full in ourselves...we don't actually need any external person to complete us... I'm what I am completely in oneself Thanks
Thank you so much for this. This made me realize that my crave for validation lingers from my school years. Those 5 minutes made me finally stop obsessing over a person who I've been imagining giving me that validation for over a year now.
That’s so freaking effective girl!! Thank you like really. Like, now, I’m gonna come to this video every time I find myself fantasizing about someone ✨✨🥰
This is what i need. I tried to forget a guy who i obsessed with 10 years and i accept that i lose him forever but i keep to love him but now i don't need his love anymore... Youre magical✨ thank you 🌸
This was such a blessing to me. I knew this feeling of loneliness was connected to my childhood but didn't really know how to address it and this exercise helped it to make it more tangible. Thank you so much! God bless 💜
This was very useful because it helped me to realize that once again, I am looking for the love, validation and respect of my father in this man. The need to be seen is still here. I will work with this tonight in my therapy session and I'll keep doing it to keep tracking of my bodily sensations. This was very interesting. Thank you s much!!! 🙏✨
Wow, this exercise is really helping me right now. It was weird to realize that I felt the positive and negative feelings in completely different areas of my body - like they each have their own home. So interesting to look at more closely! And, as someone who loves to work with kids, it made me cry to imagine myself NOW comforting my 6 year old self. TY for this exercise ❤
well nobody is responsible to make you feel loved or feel happy its on your own hands dear. just love yourself enough so u don't be dependent on anybody to make you feel loved.
Something is wrong with contemporary culture when we apparently are supposed to learn to not need anyone. All these pseudo-therapists speaking down to us very confidently and clearly, as if we are hard of hearing. Humans are social and creative people. We like to communicate, and anyone who has experienced love knows how that cant be replaced. Sure, you can seek out some other way to fill your life with meaning, but its not the same. And the longing for intimacy and belonging is real. Its not that we are just using people to fulfil individual emotional needs for selfish reasons. That is ridiculous. If people want to learn tricks to lie to themselves in order to move on quicker because real feelings are inconvenient and carry a sense of loss of control and pain they cant handle, sure they can do that. But real life and real loss hurts. The contrasts of different sides of experiences is why we can appreciate things.
I also ha s let go a little of the concept of self love. It IS okay to let yourself surround with people and some support. I genuinely think I’m healed enough now to let a romantic partner in and grow together. I applaud the idea of self love. It’s important. To be aware that you are not getting it too much in the external world (things, food, people: perhaps confusing it with real love). But stay aware of what is driving you. Do the healing, or great part of it, to make yourself ready to receive&give&live&celebrate Real Love. I am so ready ☺️💖💖💗💞🥰
Wow, I needed to be accepted/embraced for who I was as a child without having to do something to get it. No need to smile back or even engage, just have warm attention on me while I just am, tired, a bit angry or sad. That released some knots/tension in my body and I didn't need that fake love I was fantasizing about before almost at all. Thank you!
![[Full Episode] The Restaurant War Thailand ศึกพ่อค้าซ่าแม่ค้าแซ่บ Episode 4 | 13 ต.ค. 67](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/h8N9tY46P-M/mqdefault.jpg)
This made me cry for my lonely younger self. Those feelings of being alone and not chosen.
This is so me … never being chosen by anyone for 23 years. And for the first time I was chosen, I couldn’t embrace it. I sent people away. I’m now 26, a man chose me but I made him suffer. Now I’m trying to heal and to have him back. I know it’s a bad idea but I still want to give it a try…. I’m crazy
Same...🙌🏻
@@nou5187-f7ni understand exactly what you were feeling lol. i was never chosen all my life as well and when recently, i did, i pushed them away because that wasn’t what i was used to. i couldn’t accept the change and i hurt people. i’m trying to heal now as well. you’re not crazy at all; although that’s what i always say to myself as well haha. we’re in this together!! we can do this!! best of luck!!
It's so similar to what is happening to me , glad I'm not alone @@nou5187-f7n
I just detach!!! Disappear for months
This is strange... My subconscious already did that for me. One night I dreamt I was at my ex's funeral. She came from the afterlife for just one last moment together with me, where we had fun and cuddled, and then she disappeared. I woke up feeling absolutely devastated, before realising she was still alive, and that was a good thing, that I was grateful for all along. Next night I had a dream about a little boy, who was constantly running after me for attention, and I felt weird, but I did comfort him and tell him it's going to be okay. Just now I realised the little boy was me. And I pretty much got over this person in two nights, thanks to a nightmare.
That's great u get over
Thats amazing
after the breakup if you have dreams about your ex partner's death or funeral, it is a huge sign that you've moved on. it is a psychological process where the subconscious mind tries to stop thinking about them when you are awake and in the dream, the subconscious mind tries to bury the negative emotions by showing that they are dead. I, myself dreamt several times where I killed my ex partner. Even the sudden disappearance or fading away of your ex partner in the dream represents that your mind is processing the loss and you have acknowledged the fact that they are no longer in your life. infact it's a great achievement if you are coping up with a heartwrenching breakup.
This got me thinking seriously about what young me needs to heal adult me.
Last night I dreamt that I was at a fair/festival and I couldn’t find my jacket idek
Our imagination is powerful and can be used to help and heal like this. Always win in your imagination !
That is just rubbish what you say. Imagining is basically creating your reality and with imagination people get creative. Defining imagination as an issue is toxic af.
what😂@@JPcommunicates
I swear youtube is reading my mind
😮😮yes now I realise my mistake
No. It’s reading your texts and listening to everything you talk about.
AI: It is invading Your privacy
Lol 😂😂 @@AS-pug
Yeah they kinda read everyone's mind. Their predictive AI shows me things I was only thinking about, pretty often.
Girls, there's so much more beneath the surface. Explore the book Women’s Magic Truths and discover what you’ve been missing. You’ll thank me for this one!
Are there exercises like this one in there?
I thought you were gonna say imagine them on the toilet.
Bruh 😂☠️
This method honestly works 😂😅
😂😂😅
Me too!
Back when I was tik tok for like one month I looked up the profile of this guy I used to not be able to get over. I’d had a crush on him since high school and we hung out a lot just never actually dated even though I was obsessed. Back then he was this Lumineers woodsy outdoorsy skinny white boy that was so hipster and cool. He had one video on his tik tok. It was ten years later. He was dressed like a trailer park gangster and sitting on the toilet (I’m assuming) he just rips this long fart staring right into the camera the whole time. I’m like… wow yep that about does it the allure is gone. 😂 Why of all things?
I don't even have someone to fantasize with.
It's just an unbearable loneliness with no face.
That is ok, to feel lonely. There isn't anything wrong with it. You might go for a walk and talk to people. That can help you to feel less lonely.
@@JPcommunicates it's not a matter of right or wrong. It gets so tiring and sometimes even painful.
I do go for walks, though they don't really help.
Talking to someone? That won't do, I don't have anything to talk about. And noone to talk to.
@franacha I understand you, I've felt lonely for a while and it can be extremely hard...
One thing I do that really helps is to write. Even if you don't want to sometimes, if you make it a habit to write down your feelings, and to go a little deep as if you were talking to a friend, you might feel much better afterwards. I know it makes me feel less lonely, I feel like I have a friend in myself, I can also look back on what I wrote from time to time and see where I'm at right now, see if anything changed or didn't. It makes me feel less lonely and honestly better.
And you have to keep hope, you really do !! You might always find people who are good to you ❤
@@JPcommunicates It is not okay. It is like saying it is okay to die. Okay for you as you have less competitors.
@@franacha I know dear.. I am dealing with the exact same situation.. Just loneliness and trying to hold or hoard onto whatever is thrown my way.. but eventually nothing works... I have to be comfortable in my own company..
I watched this 5 min video over span of 30 mins. Pausing crying bawling blowing nose. Where were u girl!?!?!.!? Where were u for the past 15 years!?!?!.,?
I think with only 1 time use I solved like 90%of my problems. Grateful and thankful from my inner child ❤❤❤
Yeah really me tooooo
I am a physician and this in-depth subconscious level of healing is amazing.
I feel complete now at the second time when that person left it doesn't felt like am losing something
Everyone is always complete and it's naturally to miss others.
For real, at first it was really painful, I shed tears, but after comforting that inner child I felt completely void of feelings for my ex, it really works!
How do I deal with someone where she just gave me signs and wanted to talked but never talked but everything was communicated just by looking at each other.
_or am I a dumbfock and delusional?_
This helped me. I am experiencing limerence and obsessing over someone, and I don’t want to be any more. Thank you ❤
I was crying the whole process 😢
Same, I just finish crying, too 😭
Me too
Me too
me too. the tears just came rolling down out of nowhere!!
Same
It worked ! So soothing ! Only problem is .... now Im obsessing over Francesca ....
Same here hahaha
Always have been…lol
Get a life
You're a fool (sorry for being rude)
Unless you have met her in person she is just a voice and pixels in your phone or computer, nothing more. 🤷🏽♂️
This made me cry like a baby! Just the thought of my adult self soothing the lonely child and taking care of her is sooo refreshing! I think if I keep visualizing it, it'll help me go through the hard breakups, ghosting, and harsh reality of being left! because there is me for me!
i feel you. everything is going to be okay
Never been chosen for 27 years. Never been loved enough to be someone else's significant other. Whom I loved, i loved alone and watched them loving someone other. Now i come to realize that may be this is my test, the loneliness. And i have to embrace it. I have to stop seeking for love and take the responsibility of myself.
Feel you with this one! Take care 🫂
i thought this as a random short to watch, then it made me cry! I never knew my inner child needed this. Appreciate you so much for this content. Thank you for sharing your expertise ❤
Wow! This meditation just fixed a deep rooted feeling that i‘ve been struggling with for years… my inner child was feeling extremely unprotected and vulnerable . I felt it as a strong pain in the chest, shoulders , head, skin all over.. so i held and caressed the child and gave it the love and protection it craved… lots of crying.. afterwards i just felt at peace, the presence or absence of the other person was unimportant. Amazing and sooo helpful . Thank you so much ! ❤
I knew this kind of thing already but I admire that you were able to tell it so comprehensively under 6 min!
I guess this can work when the feelings are not so profound, but rather delusional.
Delusional feelings based on trauma go deep. Trauma might be profound and trauma means you have delusional irrational unhelpful convictions/reactions/schemas.
Correct. When it's failure to realize a positive (unconditional love/true intimacy and connection) , rather than fear of a negative (self-esteem, abandonment) - it makes no sense. The two still lost the chance for the highest peak of human experience (assuming there was full reciprocation, at least at some point, until one decided they had to go).
You made me realize why I fantasize about being chosen and then declining someone. And when it happened, I declined, but to this day fantasize about them, 15 years later! I don't want THEM, just the validation they represent in my mind and I didn't have from others. Thank you so much!
This thought is exactly the problem of individualism. We ARE relient on company, we are relient on love, we are ment to be together. Fantasizing is just your mind really loving a person and wanting to be with them and have a relationship. This is normal and shouldn't be suppressed but made into action
@joburinga616 can I suggest you take a deep breath and start from the beginning? This isn’t aimed at people in healthy, loving relationships. This isn’t about the uniquely human, often beautiful dynamic of interdependence. This isn’t about connection.
It’s for people who find themselves obsessing over someone. And obsession is never healthy.
Yet almost everyone, at some point in their life, finds themselves unproductively fixated on another person.
Fortunately, obsession can be very instructive if we’re willing to do some self-examination, because it signals a place in our lives where we are not getting our needs met.
The exercise described here is a way to uncover our true needs and work toward healing old wounds. While it can be frightening to sit with difficult memories, it is by learning to heal ourselves that we lay a foundation for forging strong and honest connections with others.
I need more time to understand and apply this effectively
Girl, you are a genius, I'm so grateful for all the work you do here on TH-cam ❤ It helps me so much
I ended up doing this meditation about a work situation that is stressful, linking it to my past/childhood - WOW. I cried again and released/processed a lot! This meditation is seriously so good - I’m so grateful!! I do stop the meditation a lot to think/feel longer, give my brain time to process what she’s saying, which helps a lot. Good luck healing, everyone ❤
This didn’t work for me. After I imagined them leaving the first time, I still felt a warmth because I knew that for a moment, I had those positive feelings reciprocated. Maybe it’s because I’ve loved and been loved and lost both before, but the thought of losing something good just makes me appreciate that good even if it’s in the past.
beautiful comment.. got quite same experience on me
Grazie Francesca. I recently realized how important it was to love and protect my inner child. I started by watching pictures of myself as child and loving him as I was never loved before. Writing down on paper positive affirmations and celebrating the little things, not reacting anymore to the negativity others bring in my life, and looking also at myself in the mirror while doing so.
It's really impressive how my mood improved, and even if I'm always more alone from others and more lonely...I am closer to myself again and that's what matters.
Thanks for this video, dear Francesca, hugs from Italy 🇮🇹
Wow come hai fatto a imparare l’inglese così bene?
@@ASMR_Orangely studiando e praticandolo con estranei su internet per oltre 20 anni!
🎯 Key points for quick navigation:
00:00 *⚠️ Imagine the person you're obsessing over giving you what you crave; notice the feelings it evokes in your body.*
01:10 *🌌 When imagining them gone, observe the void or pain they leave behind within yourself.*
02:19 *🧒 Comfort the inner child experiencing these sensations by imagining your adult self offering support and reassurance.*
03:54 *💖 Imagine giving your inner child the love and reassurance you seek from the person you're fixated on.*
04:53 *🔄 Observe how you feel when the person returns with the desired love or sensation, and notice any changes in intensity when they leave again.*
Made with HARPA AI
Thanks
Thanks
girl, i never expected myself to cry but thank you. we needed that. ❤
I’ve been through psychotherapy off and on for many many years. I’ve even taken short courses on CBT and NLP.
Never had anyone facilitated the process of healing the inner child , the way you just did.
As a side note , your accent makes me want to listen to your videos endlessly :)
The inner child isn't harmed nor need to heal. The only thing what you can experience through life is not knowing what you need and desire and how to ask for it. You can learn about all that by observing yourself or by journalling.
OMG, you're amazing this is literally my first comment ever on any YT video.... You made this much easier and i feel relieved. Loads of love ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Feeling comfort. I guess I have been feeling anxious all my life and having someone just understanding me and telling me that it's ok. You are still loved even if you made a mistake ...
this is legit solid advice for anyone with limerence. what a gem and straightforwardly put, thanks
i cried while doing this... all my younger self needed was love and someone to hear her, hug and soothe her . I gave her all of it . When i imagined my ex coming back with all of it , it dint matter at all .I feel much better than i ever was. Thankyou Francesca!
I’ve seen countless videos on this, nothing has helped me except this. Thank you
Thank you so much Francesca. Many of these things i knew in theory but you made me really feel them! Once you realize it was all about external validation and how you can be kinder and more loving to yourself and you don’t need persons and things for that anymore, all that was holding you hostage seems just silly 😄😊
I am surprised how well this 5 min video worked and helped sooth so pain, calm the water that after years still gets rough from time to time.
will come back here, surely
I need Safety in my own body. To speak up for myself and not as people want me to.
I get it..I have done this many times before and then the magic happens.. Remember, if you can be passionate about love and feel deeply, you can also stop fantasizing about someone who doesn't value your emotions. ❤
This is beautiful. I hope this video reaches out to more people.
I cannot express how amazing this video is. Of the thousands and thousands of videos I’ve seen this short tutorial stood out greatly. Fascinating concept.
Thank you so much!
Really interesting and helpful video, thanks so much!!!❤
Great experience. It works fully
Thank you so much for this exercise. I'm crying. I've never seen anything like this, your content is very unique, I subscribe❤❤❤
I’m married and I love my husband. But a few weeks ago my mind started fantasizing about a men I work with.
I talk to my self all the time “it’s ok, this feeling will pass away, it has no meaning”
He is not flirting with me. But when I had to make a presentation for our company he ask me if I want to train my speech in front of him.
His look was so intense in this moment I can’t speak properly..
I told my husband after it that I don’t feel good in our marriage.
I miss the way he looked at me and I feel a leak of attention.
He excuse himself to make me feel like this and started do invite my on date more regular again.
I don’t know why I’m sharing this story. This is the way I stoped fantasying about someone …
That was absolutely right. I needed this. My younger self, for his entire life, had experienced loneliness and emptiness in his heart because of lack of love. This helps so much. Thank you!
Take care about yourself first of all. If you’re happy and love with yourself you’ll find love and happiness with another loving person 💟
Well I obsess over you a bit. Nice personality + good looks + most beautiful accent ever
This is amazing!! It brought tears to my eyes!! I have done a lot of things, but they have never worked like this! THANK YOU SO MUCH Francesca!!❤
This was unexpectedly extremely healing - thank you so much! I processed a lot and learned a lot too ❤
It's been a looooong time since I last cried like that... It was so relieving, thank you!
I just want to say thank you. You don't understand how much I needed this. Love you friend
Thank you. Lately I felt a deep fear of losing my mom, and losing support. I did not knew were it came from. But this video made me feel where this feeling came from. It was coming from my little younger me, when my mom dropped me off at daycare and I felt totally abandoned by her.
Now I feel warm and loved and supported by me, that worked super quick. Im suprised.
It feels so different right now. Thank you.
It was absolutely beautiful, it helped me understand me better, thank you so so much 💗🤧.
Reassurance, peace.
I'm not usually into psychology, but this was really helpful. Very meaningful.
I stopped obsessing over people when I realized that the obsessions for the people are temporary and its more just me trying to fill a hole which doesn't need to exist in the first place, which aligns with what you described! Thank you for sharing this ❤
It works ! I will remind myself to do this exercise daily.
Holy Wowwww, thank you so much, very powerful !! Sending oceans of Love&Blessings&Gratitude ✨️💖✨️🩷💜💗💙🩵💎🪽
This makes a lot of sense. I need to hear this every once in a while to remind myself that im complete as i am. Thank you for sharing this video❤️
I don’t know how much I needed this, the algorithm is weird but sometimes wonderful.. thank you
Thank you so much Francesca , you truly found your calling ! You are amazing in helping so many of us. Thank you will never be enough !! Christina
This definitely helped me realize that I was doing anything I could to run from that hollow, empty feeling of being worthless and abandoned
I remembered my 10-years-old self feeling abandoned by dad, knowing he’s cheating on mom. Then experiencing their divorce at thirteen, his marriage to another woman, the birth of their child, the intense jealousy I used to feel. Thanks, this did clear things up a bit.
You are needed by the world.
Thank you... What's crazy is I embraced this feeling of loneliness and I was like... Bruhhh... I'm not lonely anymore... I have myself and like... I just learned this after 31 years... It took me a while but now... I feel free but thank you for giving me validation that I wasn't really looking for LOL. I'm glad you literally said everything I had just did literally last week! :) Keep spreading your light everybody!
Wow just wow. My inner child is crying out at first and then its as though a fire is being set ablaze in my heart that consumes everything and simultaneously bringing it back to life. I needed this. ❤
This might be one of the best psychological exercises online. Thank you.
It feels so much better at the end. Thank you for putting efforts for us.❤
This is very helpful, thank you ❤
Yes yes. Stop giving. Take time to really explore and find out who really the other person is
I kinda figured this out in a more shortcut way as I overcame my heartbreaks of losing my crushes in the past 4 years. But this goes way more in depth which is fantastic because it targets the specific, minute details to fine tune the reasonings behind the processes and sub-processes. Long story short, whenever I have a crush on someone, they don't last as long and I can handle the intensity and I'm aware that I'm fine if those feelings fade and/or the person isn't what I hoped they would be. And from that, I realise that none of us really know anyone we meet... and so we should ask ourselves who the person truly is before we lose ourselves into infatuation and overvalued hope, so that these latter feelings can be used and managed more handily. Now I see people, even people I may be interested in, more wholly and realistically and not simply put them on a pedestial. And then we understand that no one is perfect... it's just that some are more imperfect or less imperfect than others, and that we can live with that... with or without them. So instead of forcing an outcome of hope, go into it with the attitude and mindset of adventure and exploration of the good, bad and ugly. That is the human experience, both gross and beautiful in tandem, balanced or imbalanced. If it works out, brilliant. If not, this end will be a new beginning, a new learning and growing experience. That's when I realised that I looked after the child within me and I started to mature into an adult to begin to slowly but surely match my biological age. Seek others, as well as seeking yourself. And seek that all through God. Amen.
Wow, that work, thanks you Francesca
I used to avoid someone attractive and helpful because of this
I would continue to do this exercise to see if it would work in the long term.
You've changed my life, I guess I wasn't ready to hear this video before. Thank you 🌻❤️🩹💖💖💖🙏🏻✨️
Wow! Very powerful! And has so much potential also with other areas of life or other feelings and patterns!
Thank you so much for posting this! So concise and profoundly effective! As a Psychologist myself, I am excited to also recommend this to my clients! ❤
It actually worked. I started crying at the end. Thank you so much fran❤
This is indeed powerful!!! Soothing, self-soothing, taking care of our inner child 😊
Absolutely beautiful! THANK YOU SO MUCH for making this video. May you get everything good that this universe has to offer 🙏🏻
Francesca, i love this exercise so much and find it so helpful! thank you for sharing and helping so many of us heal. small suggestion: it would be nice to have longer pauses between your sentences in exercises like this that require conscious visualisation and thought from the listener. if you've ever done a guided meditation you know what I'm talking about!
Thank you. For last two weeks, I've been struggling with intrusing thoughts of my ex, who left me 8 months ago. I knew I was over him, yet those thoughts appeared. I was scared at first, but this video made me realize that it's not love for him, I just feel lonely and sad, which is connected to process of healing (dealing with complex trauma is hard, even if you have a support of therapist). I understand now it's not about him, but how he made me feel. I knew even back then, that this wasn't going to heal me, that just because he loved me, it woudl not made me feel less broken. That I had to give the love and acceptance to my inner child. Just had no idea how. But that helps a little. I will try for this to be my practice. It's going to be much better than looking for external validation anyway
It's so beautiful. I saw that I'm worthy and everybody has a worth. I explained my inner child it that everybody, also animals has an diamond in its heart (symbol for worthiness) , whether he or she is poor or rich. Humans and animals are worthy of being treated good. But sometimes people forget this diamond and they become sad and they can't see the diamond in other peoples heart. They must remember this diamond so their hearts become bright and warm and they can share this warmth with others. This is called love. 💎👩👧
Thankyou so much for giving a very amazing way to actually making me realise that we are full in ourselves...we don't actually need any external person to complete us... I'm what I am completely in oneself
Thanks
This happened in real time for me & i felt so secure that when they left, i almost couldn't remember that lonesome feeling.
Thank you so much for this. This made me realize that my crave for validation lingers from my school years. Those 5 minutes made me finally stop obsessing over a person who I've been imagining giving me that validation for over a year now.
I cried too... Really it's working. Thank you tons. Been going through this for a while but now it makes wonders
This took an unexpected turn (didn’t know it’d be about the wounded inner child) and it feels healing. Thank you.
Wonderful advice and very interesting. Thanks
1000 times I have heard self love self love but you gave me a real exercise to feel self love ❤ thanks francesca
The thought where u felt the need to heal us. I respect that. Would love to send love to you ❤
omg this is IFS, so cool it being explained in a really simple and clear way that is easy to follow along to ❤
That’s so freaking effective girl!! Thank you like really. Like, now, I’m gonna come to this video every time I find myself fantasizing about someone ✨✨🥰
This is what i need. I tried to forget a guy who i obsessed with 10 years and i accept that i lose him forever but i keep to love him but now i don't need his love anymore... Youre magical✨ thank you 🌸
This was some DEEP stuff 🤍
Great exercise 💯
Thank you for your work Francesca!
May god be with you
This was such a blessing to me. I knew this feeling of loneliness was connected to my childhood but didn't really know how to address it and this exercise helped it to make it more tangible. Thank you so much! God bless 💜
This was very useful because it helped me to realize that once again, I am looking for the love, validation and respect of my father in this man. The need to be seen is still here. I will work with this tonight in my therapy session and I'll keep doing it to keep tracking of my bodily sensations. This was very interesting. Thank you s much!!! 🙏✨
Wow, this exercise is really helping me right now. It was weird to realize that I felt the positive and negative feelings in completely different areas of my body - like they each have their own home. So interesting to look at more closely!
And, as someone who loves to work with kids, it made me cry to imagine myself NOW comforting my 6 year old self.
TY for this exercise ❤
Certain tantric practices advise imagining the uncomfortable feeling as light & staying in that light to heal completely.
Thank you so much ❤ it’s better now! The number 11 has such intense emotional power..
thank you so much for this video made me feel a lot better i cried and now i feel much lighter
I feel loneliness. I suppose i need love, but it's boring to give myself love. It's better when someone else does it.
well nobody is responsible to make you feel loved or feel happy its on your own hands dear. just love yourself enough so u don't be dependent on anybody to make you feel loved.
Something is wrong with contemporary culture when we apparently are supposed to learn to not need anyone. All these pseudo-therapists speaking down to us very confidently and clearly, as if we are hard of hearing. Humans are social and creative people. We like to communicate, and anyone who has experienced love knows how that cant be replaced. Sure, you can seek out some other way to fill your life with meaning, but its not the same. And the longing for intimacy and belonging is real. Its not that we are just using people to fulfil individual emotional needs for selfish reasons. That is ridiculous. If people want to learn tricks to lie to themselves in order to move on quicker because real feelings are inconvenient and carry a sense of loss of control and pain they cant handle, sure they can do that. But real life and real loss hurts. The contrasts of different sides of experiences is why we can appreciate things.
I miss connection
I also ha s let go a little of the concept of self love. It IS okay to let yourself surround with people and some support. I genuinely think I’m healed enough now to let a romantic partner in and grow together.
I applaud the idea of self love. It’s important. To be aware that you are not getting it too much in the external world (things, food, people: perhaps confusing it with real love).
But stay aware of what is driving you. Do the healing, or great part of it, to make yourself ready to receive&give&live&celebrate Real Love.
I am so ready ☺️💖💖💗💞🥰
@@rosine749 I appreciate you.
Wow, I needed to be accepted/embraced for who I was as a child without having to do something to get it. No need to smile back or even engage, just have warm attention on me while I just am, tired, a bit angry or sad. That released some knots/tension in my body and I didn't need that fake love I was fantasizing about before almost at all. Thank you!