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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 25 พ.ค. 2022
- This interview is an episode from The Well, our new publication about ideas that inspire a life well-lived, created with the John Templeton Foundation.
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Watch Wendy Wood's next interview ► Hit peak performance with the power of habit • Hit peak performance w...
Bad habits can be challenging to change due to friction - that is, the time and effort it takes to overcome them.
It is widely believed that through better self-control, our habits will change. But it doesn't work like that.
The only way to change a bad habit is through repetitive good behavior. Good behavior leads to better outcomes, which leads to our brain releasing dopamine. This "reward" is what helps us form good habits.
Read the video transcript ► bigthink.com/the-well/how-to-...
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About Wendy Wood:
Wendy Wood is a social psychologist whose research addresses the ways that habits guide behavior - and why they are so difficult to break - as well as evolutionary accounts of gender differences in behavior. Professor Wood has been Associate Editor of Psychological Review, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Personality and Social Psychology Review, and Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. She is a Fellow of the American Psychological Association, the American Psychological Society, the Society for Experimental Social Psychology, and a founding member of the Society for Research Synthesis. Her research has been funded by the National Science Foundation, National Institute of Mental Health, and Rockefeller Foundation. Prior to joining USC, Professor Wood was James B. Duke Professor of Psychology and Neuroscience and Professor of Marketing at Duke University.
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I put a camera on a monkey. Here’s how it shook my understanding of humanity
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Atheism is not as rare or as rational as you think
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System 1 vs. System 2 thinking: Why it isn’t strategic to always be rational
► bigthink.com/the-well/system-...
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Scientists now know that dopamine isn’t primarily released by rewards but by anticipation of reward, very important distinction.
After Skool just did a great lil video on it!
My grand father always used to say that to me, the wait is better than the actual getting.
Sapolsky dopamine experiment
@hubermanlab lets gooo
I KNEW hope is happiness.
“Good habits make time your ally, bad habits make it your enemy” James Clear
pretty Clear
that book changed my life. i read tons on habits before, but james distilled to such a comprehensive degree that it really pulled away a curtain. i was always strong on habits but now it's supercharged. read that book 4 times already. habits are the absolute base on what humans build upon.
@@tikkivolta2854 hey buddy! Can uh please mention the name of book? I am in dire need to change current habits 🌹
@@saeedabbas231 of course. "atomic habits" by james clear. THE habit bible.
@@tikkivolta2854 i hope I'd win to drugs! Thanks n much respect
"When determining the size or complexity of a new habit ask yourself, "What can I stick to-even on my worst day?"
Start there. Master the art of showing up. Then advance."
the best way to build good habits is to find a way to make the good habit easier than the bad habit. if screen time is a bad habit, go lock your phone in a box or put it on a charger 3 rooms away from you. if food is a bad habit, stock your fridge with healthy snack foods and don't bring unhealthy snacks in aside from special occasions. if exercise is a bad habit, leave your yoga mat out, your weights out, and start doing it right after you brush in the morning or right after you get home from work, etc.
Sounds like the "Kaizen" method.
hmmm ty
A year and a half ago I trained my mind to take the stairs up to the 7th floor at work. I also told myself to take them down and up at lunch and one other break. Some days I take the staircase 4 times in a work day so 28 flights of stairs and some days just 3 times. I still take the stairs to this day and they changed my desk to the 2nd floor. My boss is on the 7th floor and I often have to pick up papers on the 7th floor so I told my boss...why would I quit a good habit? He totally agreed. I deal with generalized anxiety and do not take medication. I use food as medicine, exercise, journalling, reading self-help books and meditation. I now do the stairs at the metro station (subway) instead of the escalator and also walk on the platform instead of just waiting standing doing nothing. I added exercise in moments that were used in the past as being lazy. I am proud of my new habits and exercise does reduce stress. I lost 13 pounds without trying to lose weight...the habit was formed with the goal of reducing stress...that's it.
Hey neighbour. (I can tell where you live). I have learned exercise Is essential for mental health as well.
That's fantastic julie
Notes:
1. Friction is key - create friction against bad habits and force yourself into good ones.
2. All that matters is repetition in a given context. If you are consistent the new habit will form.
3. Habits control us more than we think, therefore it's better to focus on changing habits more than anything else. Frame your life in terms of habits if you want to change it.
Thank, you.
You are wonderful person
Very good explanation
ANNND your surrounding environment is key to that friction.
Nothing new here but always a good reminder. Thanks for the summary 👍
To the *worthwhile person* seeing this, your dream is not dead. Don’t allow the past and current pains and hurts stop and define you. You’re more than a conqueror. Rise up and put yourself together. Keep pushing your future depends on it. I wish you all the best in life ❤️.
Thank you for the encouragement! ❤️
Whatever.
How about for us worthless persons?
Thank you ❤️
Lost all credibility with the first six words.
What is not mentioned in the elevator experiment is that slowing down the elevator by 16secs encouraged discomfort in taking the elevator so that people can take the stairs.
So my take on this is; when trying to get rid of a bad habit, make it almost impossible for you to partake in such habit and very easy to partake in the good habit. For example, if you want to learn how to play the guitar then all you have to do is form a habit of practicing the guitar everyday and the only way to do this is by placing the guitar in the most common place in your house so that you can see the guitar everyday. This will increase your chances in learning how to play the guitar because it would be impossible to ignore the guitar everyday.
By practice also
How do I make myself get off the internet and go to bed?
@@automnejoy5308I have a video about that on my channel
@@Viewer008 you make a valid point but time is also a factor of our environment
Its very easy to ignore a guitar even if you're looking right at it. If you dont have the motivation to do it then you wont. Even if you're motivated but its not already part of your daily habits then its going to be difficult to keep it up for long. Even with the strategy of keeping the guitar where you can see it, it's very easy to fall back into old habits, that dont include the guitar, or get distracted by other things like the television or your smartphone.
Ignoring something that's in the room with you is never impossible. It's extremely simple to do.
The only thing that really worked for me was writing down affirmations like I was already doing what I wanted, repeating the affirmations outloud like I was telling someone. Now I wake up early and exercise everyday and I love it ❤️ I learned that with Bob Proctor 🙏🏼
Nice
affirmation actually worse my self confidence
@@sarcasm1015 do you allow yourself to believe you can be the way you want at least in your mind? Affirmations make things worse when we don't allow ourselves to think that it's possible to be and have what we want, also when we don't act on it in real life. If you don't put action and tell yourself you really want to change, your brain won't believe you really want these changes in your life to the point to pass through the suffering to change, and of course things will get worse cuz the brain will always choose the easier and well known path instead of a new one.
"Whether you believe you can or can't you're right." - Henry Ford
Affirmations only work if you are capable of doing something or being something (creating the positive mindset of something being possible rather than not)
Telling yourself things you want to believe or telling something just to make you feel better better (basically denial) about yourself are not helpful. If for example you say "I'm beautiful and worthy of love" but you are heavily overweight (which is a health concern which result in physical characteristics and thus not beautiful) you can easily use the affirmation as an excuse (because you are beautiful just as you are).
Saying "I am not perfect, but I am capable of improving and strong enough to handle this" *can* work but putting to much pressure can backfire as you can deny the actual truth of reality (as there are always limitations to things).
Do you have any particular link on that
Dr. Phil said "What are you going to do INSTEAD ?" when trying to stop a bad habit.
When I quit smoking I wore a rubber band on my wrist and snapped it every time i got the impulse to light up.
It wasn't immediate but i have been a nonsmoker for 30 years now.
btw I recommend Wendy Wood's book, "Good Habits, Bad Habits" to everyone here. I finished it a few months ago and loved it.
same, I love the fact she is the author & the source of most science presented.
Would you say it's still worth reading if I've already read Charles Duhigg's "The Power of Habit"? Most of what Wendy says in this video I've already read in Duhigg's book ~
My habit of spending hours and hours watching TH-cam videos.
Mine too, no joke
@@niellalien trust me both of you.. It destroys lives.. Limit it to 1hr a day or productive content.. Or bad times ahead
I do it too, i tell myself to stop but i just go default mode (habit mode i guess) and let it be...
@@jalshah9108 you are right. I want to finish watch later and close this habit .
TV series or movie is finite..TH-cam or Netflix is not
Habits, Science, Dopamine all aside Wendy Wood you really have a fantastic sense of communication 👏 👌 👍
& amazing book, she wrote a book that made be believe more in habits, in this age it's hard to trust books by carrier authors but her book deliver the hard-core science-based facts.
Something I heard in another video about making habits, was to try to beat your worst enemy (or the worst version of yourself), imagine that you really want to start training early in the morning but you postpone it for any reason to a later time but the day is gone and you didn't go, so now imagine that your worst enemy (or your doppelganger 😄 or your evil twin) is competing with you on that same habit, are you going to let her/ him win and show to train 1st thing in the morning? While you keep postponing it and never go 🤷🏻♀️ well, I've been doing this for the last 11 days and even though it's been hard, I've been waaaaay more productive 😃 to some people this may not be "a healthy mentality or a healthyway to approach it" but you gotta do what you gotta do to achieve your personal goals - as long as you don't affect negatively other people 🤷🏻♀️ or your evil twin 😄
That's a fun one. Good suggestion
This is awesome!
I just can't express how much I want to thank you guys for making such marvelous videos on the topics that matter in today's world 🙏🏼♥️🧿👍🏼
If you need to accomplish more in a limited time, then building routines/habits are the key. I learned this as a boy in the sixties farming while my father worked running logging crews.
It's okay to not be okay as long as you are not giving up.🖤👁💫
It was a rather bang and quite resounding message for me that saying " There is not way you can change that habit memory except through repetition of other behaviors ".
Notes pour moi même :
1. Reduite la friction pour prendre une bonne habitude/ augmenter la friction pour cesser les mauvaises.
2. Se récompenser quand on a fait son habitude
3. Préparer son environnement pour réduire les frictions, anticiper
4. Avoir des rituels, pour être plus confortables dans son environnement
4. - par exemple?
Notes pour moi même :
Rafraîchir mon français 😄
@@southlondon86 Par exemple, construis une routine matinale simple, mais que tu essayes de faire tous les jours dans le même ordre.
Pas besoin d'avoir une routine ultra complexe et longue de milliardaire excentrique qui se lève à 4h du matin.
Juste :
- Réveil
- Faire lit (je suis en couple, donc je le fais en dernier désormais, une fois ma compagne levée).
- Grand verre d'eau + médicament.
- Ouvrir rideaux/volets (laisse la lumière du jour réveiller mon corps, processus hormonal essentiel).
- Douche.
- Rasage/Crème
- S'habiller.
- Petit déjeuner sain, calorique, et protéiné.
- Thé ou café.
- Brossage de dent.
- Vaisselle + Rangement rapide de mon environnement.
Travail.
Ça me prend environ une heure, je le fais toujours dans le même ordre (le café, c'est optimal minimum 45 minutes/une heure après le réveil).
Le fait de le faire le plus souvent possible (sans s'auto flageller si on n'y arrive pas certains jours, le but étant de construire l'habitude en le faisant le plus souvent possible, pas d'abandonner dès qu'on rate un matin), ça construit de bonnes habitudes pour la journée entière.
De bonnes fondations pour avoir l'énergie et la concentration nécessaire, et bien nourrir son corps.
Ce qu'on fait automatiquement ne nous demande plus d'énérgie mentale ou physique, qu'on garde pour les choses importantes.
Mais ces petites habitudes, celles qu'on fait tous les jours, représentent une bonne moitié de notre vie.
Une fois les bases acquises, tu peux rajouter quelques minutes de méditation, des étirements, ou bien écouter un podcast ou un nouvel album de musique, ou les informations sous la douche, selon ton bon vouloir.
Faut juste que les bases soient acquises et automatiques.
Je pense point 2 n'est pas une bonne idee, pcq comme ca tu veux juste avoir le recompensation sans faire le habitude. tu vas etre recompense automatiquement par dopamine pour faire un bon habitude
merci beaucoup
Habits are the brain's energy conservation mechanism. Connections are strengthen the more a stimulus is repeated, allowing the energy needed to manage that stimulus to be used more efficiently. In order to break the habit or, in other words, weaken the existing strong connections, it must happen gradually. If a shift happens all at once, the brain detects high energy expenditure and "lowers" your motivation in order to conserve energy. BUT if you shift toward a new activity gradually, the brain won't kick into conservation mode and will be willing to divert a little energy over time toward strengthening new connections.
I really appreciate how the psychology of decision-making impacts our health. As a doctor, I find it so fascinating!
Nice flex
@@miglangell lmao
this video is so amazingly and beautifully made; the configuration of the message with the pictures/clips coming up at the time showing/serving as the easy to relate and understand examples of the things she's saying+ music....
tysm❤
this is what I've been searching for for the last 2 years, this is perfect video who want to control their habits
I read somewhere that we need three months to break a habit.
But imo to find a better habit to do the same thing is way better and faster.
Big Think as a channel has amongst the finest, high value, profound, dense and insightful youtube videos.
This video's format was nicely done. Ms Wood is very well spoken and the appropriate images chosen to accompany her explanations make the subject easy to understand. I also appreciate that you focused on everyday habits, such as cooking, rather than an end goal.
I like this video, along with the Atomic Habit summary one. I think (and also tried and true) that we really need an environment, a community, and a reward for starting a new behavior. Going to gym with friends and at a certain time of the day is so much easier than going alone, plus the reward I felt is right after gym my sluggish body becomes rejuvenating.
Isn't it amazing how slowing down an elevator door can accelerate our journey towards better habits? Your points on friction really struck a chord. It's akin to something we advocate on Micro Matters - little shifts leading to massive changes over time. Thanks for reminding us that life is a staircase, not an elevator!
It's how we should tackle climate and social change, not just through policy but little nudges from many sources. Designers, leaders, friends, manufacturers can create little shifts with the right wisdom, intention and discipline.
@@Dilmahkana Tell the people!
Today I used an elevator that shut its door amazingly slowly, in fits and starts, and sometimes opened it and started over. I think it was a safety feature.
This segment has triggered a recollection of my time as an office worker, when a close colleague and I, in our frustration with the unhygienic bathroom habits of other employees 🤢(ew, I know), attempted to display distasteful pictures in the restroom. Unfortunately, we received a reprimand from our boss for taking it too far. Sometimes, I imagine going back in time and delaying the flush handle of the toilet, 🤣, hoping it would somehow make a difference. Anyway, I'm currently struggling with time management, and it's negatively impacting my overall well-being and sleep. I'll make an effort to experiment and find a solution to this issue. I genuinely appreciate the insightful videos you share. Thank you so much. 😪🛏
i developed this habit of jumping for atleast a minute right after waking up, its really uncomfortable so thats why i decided to do it to train my discipline. then, weeks passed and it became a part of my morning.
Habits are the color pallet to life.. your basic habits combine to make much more complex results !!
The examples provided were really on point and very relatable. Loved it
friction 2:30
change your behaviour 4:00 - 6:08
So true, some habits control us and others associated to our habits. Also affects lifestyle, emotions and growth too. While watching some videos like this, feels I’ll change from now onwards or at least try. But next moment (phases) everything evaporates and stays as is. 😊
And now i have got a whole new perspective on my daily life and i have changed for good 👍
Love that for you Bodong Tayeng
Which would argue against Wood's main claim. Perspective changes our actions, too. Not just environment, friction, etc.
What an insightful video! I'll definitely research further the different topics mentioned in the video, behavioral science seems to be the best way to improve your life on a profound level
Passive frame theory - essentially, we don’t consciously do anything at this exact moment. Everything we are doing at this exact moment is a subconscious action, a preprogrammed action, the vast majority of which are habits. You can, certainly, consciously think about what you are going to do in the future, even a second or two. And yet, by the time you do that action, you are running a preprogrammed action, not a conscious action.
From this theory, the 16 seconds referred to in this video allows for the individuals to have 16 seconds of conscious thought, and this seems to be enough for the individuals to decide to take the stairs. Taking the stairs becomes a habit such that removing the 16 seconds doesn’t cause anyone to consciously decide to take the elevator.
With this in mind how do you consciously stop a bad habit e.g smoking... if buying, sparking and smoking it is done unconscious, how do you consciously stop yourself from the action?
@@saneleonly “Power of Habit” by Charles Duhigg explains this very well.
Yes, you can change a habit consciously, by thinking about it in the future. “Instead of picking up a cigarette when I first wake up, I will instead go get a cup of coffee.” Also, a habit is formed by rewarding the action. So, if you think about your habit self as a separate person, you must reward your habit self for doing the new actions you want. It’s a bit silly, but quite effective.
@@JesseHelton my brother would go for a fresh air break instead of cigarette one and always reaffirm and encourage the behaviour each time by thanking himself, smiling, breathing with full lungs etc. After a while cigarettes were a poison to him after getting used to fresh air
@@moanguspickard249 When I decided to quit, I made up a new rule each day, like “I can’t smoke in the car,” “I can only smoke in the car.” After a couple weeks of changing to a new rule each day, I just kinda forgot to smoke.
All she said is a condensed version of James Clear's Atomic Habits.
She mentionned : friction, habit (ofc she did), reward anticipation without necessarily mentionning the 4 stages of successful habit iteration etc. It's quite funny to imagine that the environment we sit in can actually be so meaningful to our general sense of productivity. The kitchen is the place where you eat as that's the habit that has been ingrained in your brains and the very first moment you see that place, just like a dog having been pavloved by the cookie and the and bell tingle, you know it's a spot that brings you happiness i.e. dopamine release and likely intuitively not the place where one would start working on his aerospace structure paper (or it can! you never know tbf)
Friction play important role in habit, whether to give up the habit or to build the habit. Increase the friction if you want to stop the habit gradually and minimize as possible the friction if you want to build the habit by creating supportive environment, so you are being easy and comfortable to do your habit
"We really need an environment that would make it easier to actually achieve our goals." I'm going use this comment somehow in my arguments with my daughter on why it's important to clean her room.
I really appreciate your videos, thanks :)
Small changes in the environment can make considerable changes in our lives. Great video 👍 Thank you
This is the second video in the last 2 days you guys have tried to pound rituals back into my life lolol.. I have Asperger's and extremely bad anxiety but I have come to learn over time that my anxiety is because I hold myself to patterns and rituals and when those patterns are broken and I can't hold to the ritual everything falls apart like a house of cards. I have found it to relieve much of my anxiety to live life like music, the melody can change the instruments can change and it still be the same song. I am convinced it is the rituals and patterns of life that create the anxiety within us and every doctor I have talked to tell people to develop rituals routines and patterns to get rid of their anxiety and that is the exact opposite that I have found to help me. Stop holding yourself to these meaningless standards and rituals and patterns. Learn to let things go and take life as it comes. Live it in improv. If you subject yourself to ritualistic patterns of the same all of the time you are cutting off your brain in your consciousness from experimentation and living life outside of sheltered boundaries. Mentally healthy people really should not be telling mentally ill people to start taking up rituals and patterns without understanding what they are actually saying 😆
Do they ever distinctly say that this is specifically for mentally ill people? This is just a scientific explanation of certain correlated trends they’ve found that improve peoples perception of their own quality of life. I don’t think you are wrong in any manner, I just think your particular criticism is unfounded for this video. That said, still an excellent point for food for thought.
@@picsbyshrey no but repetitive patterns and rituals are symptoms of internal mental turmoil or illness. The only reason professional athletes or warriors in combat do these things is out of discipline. They are in a manic State be it in intense competition or combat, these repetitive ritualistic things that help people in intense situations stay on track should be considered disciplines. I just find it interesting every discipline of doctor in psychiatry I have spoken with suggests this same formula and I go on to ask them if they have ever tried any kind of psychedelics and never once have I found a doctor who admits to doing them.. essentially I can't find anyone who can define what disassociation feels like and how it could be good for breaking patterns that autistic people worship by nature. I only say this because our entire society is structured like a meat factory and everything is done in such a repetitive ritualistic pattern. The institutionalization of our society is for stability but I personally feel that living rigid routine is just compensating for internal instability. And continuing to tell people that rituals and patterns are healthy daily patterns is just a lie because in my personal opinion all I see everyone doing all the time is trying to escape them. There is definitely an interesting dichotomy going on between this philosophy. I have this conversation with everyone all the time because I keep hearing this advice get repeated over and over and I don't agree with it so I challenge people on it and see what they think lol. But considering this is the second video in a row this channel has posted it's making me suspicious of some sort of government programming 😆 pay your taxes, don't be late for work, shimmy shimmy shimmy till the break of dawn! "System of a down" would say
i like your point , me too , everybody is different
@@nighttrain1565 I think you should check out Andrew Huberman
@@picsbyshrey I just recently discovered him after his Lex appearance, I like him and Dr Karl, both really good
Makes this video so much empowering after having started to read ‘Atomic Habits’ by James Clear where these scientific studies and researches are all collated and presented concisely !
I'm amazed by how drastically the golden rule varies from one culture to another. For example, in Gujarat, where India's Modi is from, following the golden rule means tolerating abuse from family members quietly for the sake of maintaining harmony in the family. This standard of the golden rule is inferior to the standard to which I was raised, and there are cultures that have standards I consider higher than my culture's standards.
It's one of the best videos about habits that I've ever watched. Awesome
I love your work It is so true and most amazingly beautiful! Please, in your own gracious provide classified compilations of at least one or two or so! Many thanks.
John Nyende.
This is such a great channel. Thank you.
Watched this twice and honestly can’t figure out what to garner from it.
each time I watch ‘Big Think’, it’t Mind Blowing
Have gained a lot of knowledge listening your videos and also I think that the way you are putting all the ways together is really important for us and thanks for your knowledge I really feel inspired after watching the
Watched and liked, thanks!
Habits are a way of short-circuiting thinking. We get things done without having to think about them. Sometimes this is a good thing but sometimes this is a bad thing. Sometimes it's best to break out of automaton mode and actually think about stuff. This is more difficult than it seems and sometimes it's painful or socially awkward but that's what leads to new insight. Too many people go through life on auto-pilot without stopping to pause to question things. It's easier that way but it's so easy that one can speed through life without really thinking about stuff. This allows other people to do the thinking for you. If those other people have good motives then that's not so bad but they don't always. I find it's generally better to think for oneself even if that means that less gets done. As long as enough gets done. Balance is important not trying to maximize the number of widgets one produces before death.
What a sweet and calming voice this lady has.
I'm running every day at ~21h thanks to StepN ^^
It's been a month and it begame a great habits, I didn't miss a day (sometimes I run at 23h or 0h but it's ok. I don't see this as a punition ^^)
Best video on habit explanation ever seen
Dear Dr. Wood,
Regarding dogs (and all animals and birds), please consider 2012’s “Declaration on Consciousness.”
Thank you for the video.
What a great book she have wrote .. recommended read!
Excellent and thought provoking
Cool Lady: *Talks about normal science..*
Background music: *I need to motivate!!*
Great explaination
1.) Make the behaviours easy to perform, like reduce friction. Create an environment which makes the behaviour you wanna achieve easy.
2.) Contrary to the above, bring more and more friction in behaviours you don't want to repeat.
Basically what you wanna do should follow path of least resistance.
Very pleasant narration, these six minutes flew by
I listened to this at 2X speed and it sounded 'normal'. Great content btw👌
That lift thing though is a beautifully unbelievable thought!
I can swiftly curb my phone/screen addiction by switching to a tiny "dumb phone," since the friction from trying to consume content on a small/laggy screen prevents me from doom scrolling
The video gives you a lot to think about. Habits are life
My phone wallpaper says: get up, dress up, show up and never give up.
Its kinda life changing as every morning when I dont want to go to gym, theres a small motivation about just getting up and showing up, everything else just flows by once you just show up to do something.
Men these content are so amazing it's really helping me and motivating me to do better
Set up an environment conducive to the goal to make it inviting. I do this with my kids. I call them "stations". Instead of saying "why don't you do a puzzle?" I just set one up ready to go, all the pieces out, on a table at their height, with a comfy chair pulled out just a little bit, and boom, it doesn't take long until they are there doing the puzzle on their own without me saying a word. It's a like a magnet.
My habits are great! I really love my habits. The habits of the Law.
Excellent Study.
I exercise few times a week. I am still struggling to make it habit. Sometimes I don't work out for one week then I have to force myself to move again. The repetition for few months doesn't make habit because I don't enjoy it.
Get a gym buddy
Start slow, don’t exert too much when starting out
Exercise only for 10 minutes but do it when u get comfortable enough after maybe 1 month then increase
Make it comfortable
I have ocd and tourettes syndrome, I'm autistic so I also stim. I wonder how other people experience habits and routines. I feel that I have no control over my tourettes, my ocd and my pattern seeking behavior. Time passing by causes me huge amounts of anxiety, my physical ticks, stimming and acting on my ocd soothe the passage of time for me. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to just sit completely still without racing thoughts and a mounting sense of dread. I've been trying to feel my emotions instead of ignoring them and I've been sobbing a lot but I think the only way to develop a sense of calmness is to feel the emotions that I'm dreading.
You are doing the right thing by trying to feel your emotions. Many of our problems stem from trying to hide from them or trying to push them away. If you spend a few minutes (even though it is uncomfortable) just feeling a particular emotion and allowing the feeling, it will, after a time subside. Acceptance is key. We resist these difficult feelings which is what makes them stronger. Allowing them to be felt and accepting them, weakens their ability to be present. I hope you find this helpful. Carl Yung said “That which you resist, persists and increases.”
This should be at least 15 minutes
Yessss please 🙌
We have some more videos with her - check out th-cam.com/video/g-O1XDwhKIg/w-d-xo.html and th-cam.com/video/6AaAOQTOvtc/w-d-xo.html !
this is life changing information
I think this is what learning is, i.e., forming habits
Great video ! 💥
Friction really works like if we increase friction in doing a specific bad habit you actually give up in some time.
Patience is the key.
Thank you
Love your content
Great video!
Yes, I’ve been reading the book by James clear, “atomic habits”.
No one asked ?
3:40 We repeat a behavior in the same context in the same way and we get a rewards. Rewards get us to repeat behavior and they become habits. What Wood doesn't mention but alludes to in discussing associations with contexts is that if we are organism inextricably entangled with our environment, "our habits give us meaning in life." Change and practice mastering a habit and your change and become a master of some control in your life. It gives us a "sense of confidence". When we are in environments where we know what to do, it gives us multitasking. "We can make sense out of our world."
I find it concerning how mindless smartphone use has apparently become normal in stock videos. Brushing your teeth while looking at the phone? Eating while listening to music AND looking at the phone? Wtf?
No wonder people are having the attention spans of amoebas lolol
Truly! We are not adapted to extreme cellphone use, nor should we be. There is so much more to life than screens.
I can understand looking at your phone while eating... but brushing your teeth? REALLY? You're right. I see people do this in so many videos! Like, wtf?
THANK *you* VERY MUCH!! ...i DIDN'T *KNOW THAT* -GB
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habit is repetition, excellence is built on repetition: it is also called training or excercise. The great at everything do it more, repeat, than everybody else, they have created the habit of repeating. They ritualise for sucess.
Really interesting because as a developer I'm constantly having to force myself to overcome the mental friction of changing my habits so that I can improve my productivity. It is surprisingly challenging, even after many years. Many developers don't even fking try lol
Great vid!
I was just thinking about this, actually!
Insightful
Quite informative
Great video!
I used to run everyday couple of months ago but i stopped. I'll try to return this habit back :)
If you really want to know the details about each aspects touched upon in this video, I recommend reading Cal Newport's Deep Work.
This is basically a 6 min video summary of Newport's work.
Toooooo Good ❤❤❤
that was the longest 16 seconds.. ever. 😂 I'm taking the stairs!
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I can listen to her the whole day...
so great
Every once in awhile I see something on Big Think that seems like very very small think. This is one of those times.