I've been married 41 years, and we still treat each other with the utmost respect and courtesy. We don't "keep score," and we never lost our sense of humor. Our success story in a nutshell.
@@maryj7423 That's interesting. I used to write for a newsletter and people used to tell me I should write more! But I know that God blessed me with a good relationship. We both value the other one more than ourselves.
@Kathy27 How blessed you are. I've been married 25 years and just said to someone 5 mins ago that I know the secret to marriage is respect. With that all the rest will fall into place and without it that won't happen. Lots of you said this you did that. After awhile all you hear is blah blah blah and you both become mean and resentful, and it can't be one sided. God bless you and your husband.
I know right? If this marital problem had happened today, they'd already be separated. They'd be tweeting about their fights hourly, everyone on Facebook would know every detail of every word the MIL uttered between 9 and 5, and the evenings would be spent updating their blogs. Back then, people didn't have as many distractions and excuses. They spent all of the hours we spend on social media, actually talking to each other towards the end of working out their problems and improving the marriage.
@@wmnoffaith1 for sure!! My cousin got divorced after 30 years and she posted it all over FB. Ugh. I don't have FB or Instagram, so I didn't know anything about it until a cousin out of state called to tell me about it 😑
@Texas Tea I don't spend any time on social media either. I only go on TH-cam, mostly for audiobooks. My husband and I each have a FB page which we don't use, and we certainly don't put anything personal on it. By not telling the world and our friends our marital problems, and just working them out, it has improved our marriage tremendously. When we were younger and told our friends everything, we fought constantly. I think it's because friends always egg you on. They're always saying, I wouldn't put up with that or I never liked her. They mean well but, it's almost always harmful. Now we just work things out, lol.
@@wmnoffaith1 I vent to only 2 dear friends who have their best interests for my hubby and I. And I definitely dont tell my mom crap when my hubby and I argue. Thankfully neither does he. Im sure he's vented about me, but it's never gotten back to me. We're determined to make our marriage work. we love each other too much AND to throw away 20 years?? No way. (Plus... I don't think I could even handle the dating scene of 2019 compared to 1997 lol)
Well slowly but surely this way of life will come back people forget that this is more natural and the nonsense we have going on now eventually it’ll come back around
Some do have this now but so many people would rather have the image of how things “used to be” than actually work on themselves. See the whole anti-feminist “father as another child” trend. It’s disgusting. Men can and should be active parents and active partners. Feminism means treating everyone as people with their own wants and needs - that’s fundamentally what a good partnership is. It’s also what earlier feminist movements meant around the personal being political.
Yeah, people lived exactly like this back then! 👍👍👍 Things were soooo different from now. That's why they made movies like this - to show people the things they were already doing.
This is soo romantic. It doesn't have to be sexual. It's being silly, goofy and meaningful in a way that work things out situations. Meeting each others needs in a healthy way. It really impacted me and loved the last part when she said "If you really want it... WE really want it." That's a excellent lesson that when people get married it's about WE.
Do you thing she was having a good time being at home with the purpose to make a good meal for her husband and herself? There was a we?? In each films everything rounds about money 💚💛
@@laurapavone3513 yes she was. Marriage is about two people becoming one. But as a wife that was just part of it. The video is about marriage, being part of a successful marriage in particular.
I honestly believe courting needs to make a comeback. When men treated women like ladies and not just a POA. Maybe I’m old fashioned but I love the idea of being courted by a man.
There still are men and women like that who are "in the world but not of the world," traditional Pentecostals for example. But because the values you mentioned are not popular now, those who have those values are careful about who they share that information with. Being made fun of just gets old after awhile!
I wonder if farm folk ever feel that way, considering they work basically 24/7. All she has to do is clean the house. Before marriage she would have had to clean her own house AND gone into work. Unless women are lazy slobs to begin with leaving messes clutter in the bathroom, counters unwiped, floors unswept on a occasion, never doing laundry etc. I guess what I am trying to say is, instead of having to do both things normally, the division in labor occurs. Instead of having to do everything, you have to do less now if you were actually doing everything before. 9 hours at a job, then cleaning everything your normally do at home sounds like a lot of work compared to just cleaning everything at home and a little more laundry and dishes.
When she said she wasn't really quitting her job, she was quitting her paycheck, it resonated with me. I've worked full time jobs ever since I've been old enough to work at all, and now that I have kids I've really wanted to focus on them and be home and present. She's absolutely right that homemaking is still a job. But being an unpaid one, that's the harrowing part. But I know it can be done.
Just today I was thinking of that while cleaning the bathroom. Then I remembered, if it was cleaning my own bathroom, and I knew it was important to me, would I have felt that way ? That I am not being paid?
@@davenone7312 True. But you misunderstood that we're not saying you can't find ways to work from home and still generate some form of income. We're saying this is stepping away from a guaranteed paycheck, of a certain amount, in a time frame we're accustomed to. The work of a stay-at-home is an absolute honor and privilege, but it's also deserving of the respect it deserves, because the work is hard and demanding an non-stop...and unpaid. I wouldn't want money for it, but in terms of the labor, it absolutely is a job.
I liked the last part "as partners". This is true for any relationship in any time period. If both value each other, and appreciate each other contributions equally, then happiness awaits.
I accidentally found this channel and i don't regret it at all. I really enjoyed this very much. I'm taking a lot of notes from this clip and learning from it :). Thank You! for posting this.
@@TheReapersSon I’m Canadian and we never wear shoes in the house unless they’re shoes specifically for household wear. My partner is Chinese, so we’ve known each others’ feet longer than any other body part.
It is great the way this couple talk things out. Our culture today is so negative. It's like everything is reduced to A power struggle, where we are either helpless victims or abusers. Reality is, we need to take responsibility for ourselves, men and women alike. Men's feelings are just as important as women's. Usually things are not black and white. Both partners are usually partially right and partially wrong. So to sit down and talk with an attitude of humility where we listen to each other is wonderful. They seemed to be doing that in this film.
People are so selfish and manipulative today. Do this to make them want you. And do that to make her fall for you. It’s so superficial and upsetting. All about the self and satisfying your own self gratification as you lust for the next soul or use the next person feeing emptier each time.
@@Kal-El207 people haven'tchange seens begining of civilisation. It is a mistake to look at a Idealise add and think it was how people were in the past🤣
@@missxmarvel that’s a bit cruel to men. Many don’t cheat, and women cheat a lot more often than people want to admit. Not all men are mindless apes, come on.
@missxmarvel seriously? I'm a male, and statistics show women are the cheaters .. look it up.... mine X wife cheated on me after 20 year marriage... your attitude disgusts me .. likecmist modern feminist do.
There's a reason the Chinese character for "conflict" is essentially the characters for female (twice) and the character for roof. Two under the same roof = not good.
I did it in the same sort of set up. It worked great because my freakishly young looking (and acting) mom and her hubby (who is younger than me), got along great with him. They had 2 stories and we had the basement apartment with a seperate patio and yard. The only thing I didn't like was they could hear when we fought, lol.
There's a reason why God says that, once a couple is married, they must live on their own, separate from their parents. My husband and I learned the hard way. 😬
The essence of marriage that works. Two people who foresake all others (by comparison), put each other first, commit for life, recognize that men and women bring different strengths into the partnership,and work through their challenges. It works. It takes work. Many will argue why it can't work that way. So they'll try it differently and never understand what went wrong.
I mean I think every person is different so generalizing by “men’s roles” and “women’s roles” is actually really damaging since it means you are trying to fit a mold and not dealing with who you really are as individuals. Additionally, not every partnership needs a man and a woman and not every partnership needs to be based on romance either… I agree with the rest though! It’s just there are so many healthy ways of being in partnership that limiting it by gender or sex means a lot of people will end up mimicking what they think they should do rather than what’s the right thing for them and their partner!
@@sarahnelson8836 Agreed! There is some great advice in this video that many modern couples could learn from, but we've really moved beyond the idea of segregated roles in marriage. For some couples of course that might naturally suit their personalities and wishes, which is fine, but there are as many different types of couples as there are different types of people. Thinking of the most successful, long-lasting relationships among people I know, they look completely different at first glance, but the common factors are mutual respect, kindness, patience, generosity and good humour.
I can relate to this more than I should..Because I have been married for 23 years now,and we lived next door to my in-laws for 19 of them..It was let's just say an experience and now that we have moved 4 hours away it feels like I have been set free..Our marriage has become so much tighter and closer now that we have some space and privacy..I understand why couples live near their families however if there is any warning signs that things will not work then take it from me Don't do it trust me it will only cause strife within your marriage..Lol
I know what you mean. I live with my mom in law, and its really hard. It seems like she wants to have things her way. I have kids and it feels like shes trying to be the mom, and not me...
You lived next to your in-laws for 19 years? I've been married for 34 years and I couldn't have survived living next to my in-laws (or my parents) for 19 days. As soon as the young wife in this film said that she moved in with the in-laws I thought, "Oh well, that's the end of that marriage". You deserve the Nobel Peace prize!!
@@billmerryman5270 It was not exactly my idea to live next to them..My husband had already bought the 4 acres beside his parents in his early 20's so when we got married he asked if we could build a house on it? Well being naive I agreed and let's just say the rest was a huge learning experience. Unless you know for a fact that you can get along with your in-laws then don't do it not even for a brand new house with a 2 car garage trust me it just isn't worth it..
My husband and I never fought. We were together for nearly 10 years when we had our first fight. The truth was that neither one of us knew how to fight. The only fights we’ve had were about how to handle issues with our kids. Since we didn’t know how to fight, my husband pulled away. I just kept to myself. It was hard to present a unified front when dealing with our kids when I absolutely disagreed with his manner in dealing with a problem. It’s pretty healthy to have arguments. Not pointing finger arguments. More the “I feel…” arguments. We’ve never fought with the “you always…“ or “you never…“ type of arguments. We’ve been together for 25 years now. I’ve changed more than he has but we are nowhere near divorce.
Why is arguing healthy?? It really makes no sense that we just report speaking points to one another that we have heard. In reality, expressing a disagreeing point is not always helpful and with some people it isn't helpful at all and only stresses both people out and puts your relationship at a stand still. Any conversation should have a goal, just expressing how you feel is a poor goal. If you want the person to agree with you or just do what you say and that won't happen then what? How do you make it right? Someone has to relent, someone has to give up and if you are a Christian that person has to be someone, the wife. You should have a real goal, you don't have to agree with someone to respect how they handle a situation by not remarking or correcting as if one is a child under your care and direction. Until someone can tell you a way to handle problems that doesn't involve someone relenting, then they are not fit to say that arguments are healthy. Arguing is not healthy, expressing yourself is a necessity because we live in a world of disharmony.
If you stop getting angry and start being calm, and think things through, nothing is as bad as it seems. A lot of young married folks start to bugtussling as soon as the ink is dry on the marriage license. They have to start listening instead of flapping their yaps.
I am so fortunate to have had 2 great mothers-in-law who were wonderful friends, as well as family. I was thankful neither would butt into our private affairs and I learned a great deal from them. Now my daughter is married and I only dispense advice when they explicitly ask for it, which they both do frequently. It makes me feel as if I've done things they respect me for. There are certainly things I would have done differently than they did but it was not my place to say. They are grown adults who have the right to do things in their own way.
God, the way they talked it out was so lovely....i didnt anticipate him bringing up her father, then she was so humble and sweet when she could see his frustration....god, to be so sweet.....good luck everyone, love first, dont give up on the people you love
How important is to talk about these topics. Communication is the key of all relationships, mainly between husband and wife. For me, my husband should be my best friend, my partner, my love. ❤️💕
So what should they have done? Maybe the widowed mother couldn't afford to keep the house on her own? Our society doesn't value taking care of its elders. Once you're no longer useful to your kids, they want to throw you in a nursing home. God forbid the grown kids have to give a little back and take care of their parents.
Eh. Multigenerational living seems economically and environmentally sound to me - whether or not it's a good idea really just depends on the specific people involved. How accepted it is depends on the culture too.
@@riggs20, the OP just said it's not a good idea, which it isn't, most likely. That doesn't mean they would reject helping each other's parents of they needed it. My husband and I lived with my mom for a time. It wasn't a good idea cuz of his and her differences but we didn't have much of a choice other than to deal with it. It hurt all relationships involved. However, that didn't stop any of us helping each other when asked.
You can't have a marriage if other people are interfering. At least back then you could own a house on one income and the wife wasn't made to feel guilty for raising the kids and not being a super achiever.
No it's not! Sacrifice, surrender, humility, self accountable introspection among others is necessary for love to work on a relationship but torture doesn't have to be....
@@a.r.8987 But, think of all the sacrifices he made for her, though.... I mean, we didn't see any of them. Or even have any indication that there were any. But there probably were some. Is it too much to ask for her to give up her job and life for him and also eat liver? 🤷♂️
If you have self-respect, You will marry someone who will respect you. And vice versa. This is the voice of sad experience. Self-esteem is so critical to a happy marriage.
This is so true! It’s similar to a thing I say about being a mother (which I am) and that is that after meeting their basic needs, you owe them your happiness. Theirs will follow.
I think our marriage has worked out beautifully because we don’t live near family. When we get irritable there is no mom or dad to run to and complain to, take advice from. We have to figure it out together. My in laws are trying to get us to leave where we live (we absolutely love Maine, they live south, which I lived near them for 6 years and hated every moment of being in the southern states) thankfully though my husband is not looking to move.
That’s just what Loretta Lynn said! When she and Mooney moved from Kentucky to Idaho early in their marriage, she said it was great for them, because they couldn’t just run home to family when they had a fight.
My story is painful. My wife and I boughe a house near her parents, we had a great relationship with all of them, but it was oursiblings that caused us a lot of grief, interfering a lot. My wife was my parents favourite daughter in law, causing so much jealousy. Her parents split and we took her father in when he had nowhere to go. He lived with us and ruled everything, and he made a deal that he would pay off our mortgage if we cared for him. He had met a woman who he moved in with and she insisted he get his money back. Ourwhole family turned against us, and we lost our house to pay him back, and moved 2000 miles away. We struggled and with four kids, never got ahead. My wife got breast cancer and our kids ran away, S She now has dementia , misses her friends back home and her kids avoid her , expect her to get better, and always asking for money. We are on a pension. and father is being mollycoddled by her siblings and nobody gives a fuck, My advice, never borrow or take money from your parents. EVER.
Bloody sad story. I get the feeling that many loud, overexcited and nosy people were involved. In my family there's quiet discussion about property and arrangements, but we've had a fair bit of property and some left over wealth from the last generation. Not much but it helps. Especially helps for everyone to be serious.
Forgiveness and Friendship are important And it will be easier to discuss important issues that come up and keeping your Husband happy and being a Addition and Helper Not a problem or a complainer who Never Satisfied..Appreciate his efforts Big N Small..Least but last one dont go to bed Mad at eachother Pray together instead
I'd be leery of some guys watching this, as some like to blame everything on the woman and not know when to hold himself accountable. He'll see it, complaining about not enough women are like this, failing not to see he should earn that kind of woman and just don't expect that kind. I would love to see Dhar Mann videos go major viral.
Alright, Ive seen the rest of the video and Petes ok. He talks about his feelings and he listens to her. I take back my earlier comment. Theyll do just fine.
My mom and dad were like this to the end of their life. They were soooo happy. Wasn’t perfect but they always put each other first 67 years It’s taught me so many things We’ve been married 42 years.
Really interesting and I love the partnership aspect of the advice. But also interesting that this sort of move away from the parents contributed to some isolation in American families, or a disconnection that was very different compared with typical family dynamics a century or less earlier
@@MsAngelique I mean it is. Right? In the future when people look at our media, they’ll see a bunch of perfectly filtered, clean eating super humans and wonder what happened to their own generation.
It's interesting how you can see both the strong foundation of marriage properly understood as a partnership, but also the creeping acquiescence to a modernity that is undermining that foundation. The marriage exists to solidify the family, and the family to solidify the community, which in turn solidifies the larger society. But, thanks to the freedom that economic prosperity has given them, they are able to take their solid marriage away from the minor inconveniences of their greater family, and away from their community. Their children will rarely see the grandparents, who in turn will spend the day alone. The children will grow in their solid nuclear family, but will do so in a community that has no history with them and in which the members are temporary, present until a better job moves them away. So, the children will see little point in having children of their own, little value in marriage, and then ultimately, little value in that job they don't really care for. And that folks, is how we get to 2023.
She could have just worked part time, then she would have had a paycheck and time to keep the house going. Most married women worked back in the day, if not full time, then part time. I remember a really popular shift was 9 to 2 for the mothers. Mothers could drop the kids off at school, go work five hours, then get off at 2 and have time to pick up the kids. Depending on the work, that could bring in $1000 to $2000 a month in todays money.
@@newlifeme1 I would say tougher to survive in the rural, as not as much college educated work to be found. At least in my proximity. Folks going to another rural town at least an hour away to work, including crossing state line. If college educated, might as well move, because even self-business unless lawyer or doctor, does not easily thrive.
It's easier just to accept the mother-in-law's advice if she has good intentions. When the mother-in-law is a widow, she needs some extra attention. Of course, its hard because young women crave so much emotional support, yet need to feel independent. A mother-in-law can teach so many things and make life easier if she has good will and isn't jealous of the wife. I think its better for a young couple to start out some distance from the parents to get some independence, but move closer when the children are born, unless they are dysfunctional parents.
Marriage is challenging enough and a lot of work on its own to have additional stressors and issues. Living too close or with your inlaws or parents is a first time big no-no.
Married life isn't all Hollywood moonbeams and honeysuckle. I became focused on how many times the lead actress does that same rueful little sniff-laugh. From the very start, even.... "On our way now [sniff]. Can't turn back."
My ex mother in law is still like a mother to me. So I am like an adult daughter to her. And my current mother in law is an equally loving human being. I’ve been really lucky in the mother in law department.
Amazing. They had their lives together. They met at church. They must've known of each other before they officially met at church especially if the guy worked with her dad. They were essentially pre-vetted. Not a random stranger coming over to your house the first time you talk to them. No alcohol involved. Only good intentions of helping one another build a house and a family. They worked for each other. They did get into arguments, but thought hard about why and probably didn't take it too far. Their parents must've given them nicer examples of domestic disputes than most kids see. People should never be selfish as if the partner doesn't exist or only exists to boost the demanding partner's needs. I love this whole film. It is ideal. People will mock it because it seems too perfect and out of reach. But why not chase a high ideal instead of a low one. I'm not sure if kids dating today have any ideals at all besides physical appearance. That is a recipe for hundreds of unplanned and unresolvable conflicts if chasing appearance leads to the wrong personality multiple times in a row. People get so sour and don't share to with their family. They only share horrible stories with same sex peers until they end up resenting the other side. But the other side is not evil. It is more likely that the ones that were selected were evil.
I think too many people who are commenting are mistaking this very ideal situation for the reality of most couples in the 1950s. This was always the ideal and the reason why these videos were made were because too many people did not live up to it even back then. We still have marriages like this today (even with both partners working and sharing responsibilities or even subscribing to strict gender roles of the household...or with same-sex marriages and what not). Even if you feel like society now is all messed up or whatever, the truth is every time period will have ideals to aspire to but the reality is always a lot messier and complicated. And if you already have a bias that is nostalgic and idealizing the 1950s style strict gender roles, you're only taking the best examples from back then (and this is a video not real life) and taking the worst examples of today to support your point.
I love this comment. Some people are truly happiest in the home. Regardless of gender. And that’s where they do their best work. Some people however have too much curiosity to stay home all the time. If your partner doesn’t understand either of these, it might not be the right relationship for you.
You’re wrong. Things weren’t perfect but they were better then. The current notion of “gender equality” is completely irrational, anti-biological and has severely damaged society.
I just wish our current society (especially those who have the platform and influence) aimed at promoting and educating healthy ideals instead of applauding worst and destructive ones that tear apart relationships, families and society.
Oh THEY AREN'T except those stupid "say no to drugs" idiots doing dance moves that the school would bring in. The losers who never made it in Hollywood.
I absolutely agree with this. I went to an unusual school. Beyond normal academics, everyone had to take basic auto shop and cooking. I do my own brake work now because of auto shop. We were also required to take one fine arts class, from junior high up to graduation year, choice of music, theatre, or visual arts. We had to also take either sociology or general psych in the 12th grade. And of course we had all the sciences. We were also all required to take practical economics in the 11th grade. Which taught us how to budget, manage money, negotiate salaries, that sort of thing. As well as educating us on the current economic climate and how to navigate it. I even took an elective class about foraging for food. My school was weird but I loved the education it tried to give me.
Actually now that I think back, our history teacher, who herself held a PhD, ditched the compulsory final exam in lieu of a thesis. She gave us a choice. Write a thesis, or take the exam. She was tough af, so I chose the thesis. And she acted as advisor for those of us who made this choice. She really prepared me for university
America is nothing like this anymore and that is a shame. If we had the values of yesteryear with the technology and knowledge of today it would just be amazing.
No online dating sites, less societal pressure to live like rich movie stars, and more common sense without unrealistic demands. That works better than the 2022 Dystopian confusion.
I mean, they had this expression that my granny always used: “keeping up with the Joneses” It’s always been a thing. It’s just easier for the Joneses to share now.
One thing this story taught me, unfortunately, is that it is best to marry someone who has the same cultural upbringing as you. Marriage is hard enough as is. The couple in the story understood implicit things that they didn’t have to argue about (her having to stay home and not work, taking care of elders, respect). These are common sense things that are not evident in all cultures. I am not taking about European vs. Scandinavian. I am talking about marrying into a family that has the same values your family does. No matter the race/country. Your values create your family culture.
@@Mitzi73 then I strongly disagree, you don’t need the same worldview to be able to be harmonious together. It is impossible, in fact, for two different people to share that completely. Not to mention one’s worldview can and should change as you grow and learn. Mutual respect for each others different world views is what is important - though some level of agreement is preferred absolute or even majority agreement is both unlikely and fundamentally unstable. The only way such a relationship could last is if it actively hampered and discouraged the growth and becoming of one or both of the partners. Having compatible life goals and expectations is what is more relevant. And the ability to be vulnerable with one another. Needing the same worldview would make judgement front and center from the beginning, not vulnerability.
As someone who has been nothing short of lucky af with mothers, I can safely say that short of homelessness, I’d never move in with a MIL. It’s just too close for comfort.
She looks like the boy from Flight of the Navigator! I love the realness of people's emotions. Old movies were like this, they dealt with real emotions and conversations. Maybe why we all have a warped idea about love and relationships. Why individualism has increased.
Step one, don't live in the same house as your mother in law. I LOVE my mother in law but… really lol. I'd go crazy if I couldn't work. I can't imagine being home alone all day with no Sonos to fill the silence.
I would personally love to be home all day but every person is different. It would be even better to be able to work from home. Then I could make money and not have to leave the house.
In 1950, the last thing you’d be at home is bored. The volume of home responsibilities required someone home to deal with it all. Take a good look at her kitchen. The refrigerator was high tech item. Most people still had ice-boxes if anything. This is before polyester clothes had to ironed before washing machines you had to wash then run it through the ringer and no clothes dryers, you had to use clothes line. Most families had one car if any. Before TV. Before microwave. Before TV dinners. If you were hungry you fixed your own food or went to a diner unless you hired a cook. Shoes had to be shined and cared for as they were expensive. If you were thrifty you made your own clothes either way you had to repair all clothing because new clothes were expensive. Vacuum cleaners were barely invented. You had to sweep and beat out rugs. Wood floors had to be cared for. Trash had to managed. If your in rural there was livestock and gardens to tend to. Can’t begin to talk about how much harder that was. In ten years that all changed, mainly because of electricity and gas being cheap.
Married nearly 46 years. We have always treated each other with courtesy and respect. We still say please, thank you and you're welcome. If you are polite to strangers, yoù should be polite to the people you love.
I think his first comment wasn't necessarily deserving of such vitriol. The sexes are equal? Yes, equal in value and worth, but not equal in dispositions and abilities (broadly speaking.) Men and women are different and this should be celebrated not diminished. That being said I do laundry and cooking and dishwashing and am happy to in addition to working 5 days a week. :) I'd be happier for my (future) wife not to work (at least not full time) but nor would I prevent her from doing so.
You have a sensible realistic view. If more people (both men and women) were to think and act like you do divorces would be a last resort always. People would work things out rather than automatically giving up so quickly. Personally, we are equal, because we are both born naked, valuable and dependent on others around us. People make the mistake of confusing equality to sameness. Even men can't be the same to one another, just as women are different from one another. The problem comes with the sense of superiority. That one is better than the other. Not all men are physically stronger than women, etc. Just as not all women have maternal instincts better than men, etc. Just need to find our own complementary spouses. ^_^
I've been married 41 years, and we still treat each other with the utmost respect and courtesy. We don't "keep score," and we never lost our sense of humor. Our success story in a nutshell.
Barbara Manatee you are so lucky.
If you had a blog or wrote a book, I would read it. Good examples of married couples are so hard to come by, it's very discouraging
@@maryj7423 That's interesting. I used to write for a newsletter and people used to tell me I should write more! But I know that God blessed me with a good relationship. We both value the other one more than ourselves.
@Kathy27
How blessed you are. I've been married 25 years and just said to someone 5 mins ago that I know the secret to marriage is respect. With that all the rest will fall into place and without it that won't happen. Lots of you said this you did that. After awhile all you hear is blah blah blah and you both become mean and resentful, and it can't be one sided. God bless you and your husband.
@@loki6253 Thank you so much for that. I do feel blessed. I thank God every day.
"If you're upset, then there must be a reason." THANK YOU, for once someone doesn't assume the worst in their life partner.
I know right? If this marital problem had happened today, they'd already be separated. They'd be tweeting about their fights hourly, everyone on Facebook would know every detail of every word the MIL uttered between 9 and 5, and the evenings would be spent updating their blogs. Back then, people didn't have as many distractions and excuses. They spent all of the hours we spend on social media, actually talking to each other towards the end of working out their problems and improving the marriage.
@@wmnoffaith1 for sure!! My cousin got divorced after 30 years and she posted it all over FB. Ugh. I don't have FB or Instagram, so I didn't know anything about it until a cousin out of state called to tell me about it 😑
@Texas Tea I don't spend any time on social media either. I only go on TH-cam, mostly for audiobooks. My husband and I each have a FB page which we don't use, and we certainly don't put anything personal on it. By not telling the world and our friends our marital problems, and just working them out, it has improved our marriage tremendously. When we were younger and told our friends everything, we fought constantly. I think it's because friends always egg you on. They're always saying, I wouldn't put up with that or I never liked her. They mean well but, it's almost always harmful. Now we just work things out, lol.
@@wmnoffaith1 I vent to only 2 dear friends who have their best interests for my hubby and I. And I definitely dont tell my mom crap when my hubby and I argue. Thankfully neither does he. Im sure he's vented about me, but it's never gotten back to me. We're determined to make our marriage work. we love each other too much AND to throw away 20 years?? No way. (Plus... I don't think I could even handle the dating scene of 2019 compared to 1997 lol)
@Texas TeaYes, I agree about the dating scene. I'm married 14 years myself. Is there even a dating scene today, lol. I think people just hook up.
I love watching the older films about how people lived. How they worked through their troubles. Something we need now.
Well slowly but surely this way of life will come back people forget that this is more natural and the nonsense we have going on now eventually it’ll come back around
Some do have this now but so many people would rather have the image of how things “used to be” than actually work on themselves.
See the whole anti-feminist “father as another child” trend. It’s disgusting. Men can and should be active parents and active partners. Feminism means treating everyone as people with their own wants and needs - that’s fundamentally what a good partnership is. It’s also what earlier feminist movements meant around the personal being political.
So True!!
@@sarahnelson8836what ?!
What a freaking joke!
That's many things but not feminism! 😆
Yeah, people lived exactly like this back then! 👍👍👍 Things were soooo different from now. That's why they made movies like this - to show people the things they were already doing.
I think it cool that they're using the "envelope" system for budgeting. It's STILL valid.
mindsaglowin ... we've used it for over 30 years !
How does it work?
See Dave Ramsey Envelope system.
ME in 2019. I just stumbled upon it on TH-cam and it saved my life. Heck TH-cam has been saving my life lately, like watching these videos.
You can use savings accounts the same way
This is soo romantic. It doesn't have to be sexual. It's being silly, goofy and meaningful in a way that work things out situations. Meeting each others needs in a healthy way. It really impacted me and loved the last part when she said "If you really want it... WE really want it." That's a excellent lesson that when people get married it's about WE.
@@miipmiipmiip LOL! I know. I wanted her to go into more detail about that! 😀
@@riggs20 just keep your mouth shut please:)
Being a 25 year old you dont find gay or relationships like this . but it is so romantic and dreamy
Do you thing she was having a good time being at home with the purpose to make a good meal for her husband and herself? There was a we?? In each films everything rounds about money 💚💛
@@laurapavone3513 yes she was. Marriage is about two people becoming one. But as a wife that was just part of it. The video is about marriage, being part of a successful marriage in particular.
I honestly believe courting needs to make a comeback. When men treated women like ladies and not just a POA. Maybe I’m old fashioned but I love the idea of being courted by a man.
There still are men and women like that who are "in the world but not of the world," traditional Pentecostals for example. But because the values you mentioned are not popular now, those who have those values are careful about who they share that information with. Being made fun of just gets old after awhile!
What does POA mean ?
@@isheetampancholi It stands for PentecOstAl.
Courting is reserved for ladies and gentleman. And there’s not many of us anymore. It needs a comeback.
@@bojackhorseman9028I believe “Piece of Action”
I agree with the line " I had to quit my job, oh wait I still have a job I just quit my paycheck."
REAL AF
I wonder if farm folk ever feel that way, considering they work basically 24/7.
All she has to do is clean the house. Before marriage she would have had to clean her own house AND gone into work. Unless women are lazy slobs to begin with leaving messes clutter in the bathroom, counters unwiped, floors unswept on a occasion, never doing laundry etc.
I guess what I am trying to say is, instead of having to do both things normally, the division in labor occurs. Instead of having to do everything, you have to do less now if you were actually doing everything before. 9 hours at a job, then cleaning everything your normally do at home sounds like a lot of work compared to just cleaning everything at home and a little more laundry and dishes.
When she said she wasn't really quitting her job, she was quitting her paycheck, it resonated with me. I've worked full time jobs ever since I've been old enough to work at all, and now that I have kids I've really wanted to focus on them and be home and present. She's absolutely right that homemaking is still a job. But being an unpaid one, that's the harrowing part. But I know it can be done.
Just today I was thinking of that while cleaning the bathroom. Then I remembered, if it was cleaning my own bathroom, and I knew it was important to me, would I have felt that way ? That I am not being paid?
It is important for the couple to appreciate what the other contributes and to recognize what an extremely important job a mother really has.
To say it is an unpaid job is just wrong. There are many ways one can be paid that does not include the almighty dollar!
@@davenone7312 True. But you misunderstood that we're not saying you can't find ways to work from home and still generate some form of income. We're saying this is stepping away from a guaranteed paycheck, of a certain amount, in a time frame we're accustomed to. The work of a stay-at-home is an absolute honor and privilege, but it's also deserving of the respect it deserves, because the work is hard and demanding an non-stop...and unpaid. I wouldn't want money for it, but in terms of the labor, it absolutely is a job.
@@Theddyfield Your paid in the fact get to use a clean sparkling bathroom decorated to your happiness.
I liked the last part "as partners". This is true for any relationship in any time period. If both value each other, and appreciate each other contributions equally, then happiness awaits.
These old videos are actually really helpful. They’ve helped me view marriage in a different way.
The respect between the two is beautiful and I aspire to have it, I pray for a marriage like this
❤
I accidentally found this channel and i don't regret it at all. I really enjoyed this very much. I'm taking a lot of notes from this clip and learning from it :). Thank You! for posting this.
I think this type of show is extremely helpful in demonstrating what a good marriage can look like realistically.
Haha "I feel so comfortable with you! I feel like I can take my shoes off!"
Bloody Americans keeping their shoes on indoors
JimboRustles I get internally downright seething mad at people when they walk onto my carpet with shoes on
@@TheReapersSon I’m Canadian and we never wear shoes in the house unless they’re shoes specifically for household wear. My partner is Chinese, so we’ve known each others’ feet longer than any other body part.
Dame is flashing the toes! Nice!
I read this right as it was being said in the movie
That's very sweet. Even though she's a stay at home mother, he appreciates her so much for what she does.
You aren't a stay at home mother if you're NOT A MOTHER. You're a lazy bish.
@@OffGridInvestor And you are ignorant.
It is great the way this couple talk things out. Our culture today is so negative. It's like everything is reduced to A power struggle, where we are either helpless victims or abusers. Reality is, we need to take responsibility for ourselves, men and women alike. Men's feelings are just as important as women's. Usually things are not black and white. Both partners are usually partially right and partially wrong. So to sit down and talk with an attitude of humility where we listen to each other is wonderful. They seemed to be doing that in this film.
@First Amendment what a butthurt comment
Thank you this Should be on everyone,s Refrigerator ..
People are so selfish and manipulative today. Do this to make them want you. And do that to make her fall for you. It’s so superficial and upsetting. All about the self and satisfying your own self gratification as you lust for the next soul or use the next person feeing emptier each time.
@@Kal-El207 people haven'tchange seens begining of civilisation. It is a mistake to look at a Idealise add and think it was how people were in the past🤣
Well said.
This year will be our 33rd. I am 51. I believe loyalty, honesty, respect & humor to be the core of any solid foundation to married life.
And turn a blind eye when the husband cheats.
@@missxmarvel that’s a bit cruel to men. Many don’t cheat, and women cheat a lot more often than people want to admit.
Not all men are mindless apes, come on.
@missxmarvel seriously? I'm a male, and statistics show women are the cheaters .. look it up.... mine X wife cheated on me after 20 year marriage... your attitude disgusts me .. likecmist modern feminist do.
it's a really special clip. i can see why nearly my elderly welsh clients have been married for more than 5 decades
This really is masterfully written in showing how they’re both going through congruent insecurities in different eyes.
Do not move in with mama.
There's a reason the Chinese character for "conflict" is essentially the characters for female (twice) and the character for roof. Two under the same roof = not good.
@@tlelliott-nc2384 That's actually not true.
@@tlelliott-nc2384 I guess you haven't lived with my brother 🤣🤣🤣 jk
I did it in the same sort of set up. It worked great because my freakishly young looking (and acting) mom and her hubby (who is younger than me), got along great with him. They had 2 stories and we had the basement apartment with a seperate patio and yard. The only thing I didn't like was they could hear when we fought, lol.
There's a reason why God says that, once a couple is married, they must live on their own, separate from their parents. My husband and I learned the hard way. 😬
The essence of marriage that works. Two people who foresake all others (by comparison), put each other first, commit for life, recognize that men and women bring different strengths into the partnership,and work through their challenges. It works. It takes work.
Many will argue why it can't work that way. So they'll try it differently and never understand what went wrong.
I mean I think every person is different so generalizing by “men’s roles” and “women’s roles” is actually really damaging since it means you are trying to fit a mold and not dealing with who you really are as individuals.
Additionally, not every partnership needs a man and a woman and not every partnership needs to be based on romance either…
I agree with the rest though! It’s just there are so many healthy ways of being in partnership that limiting it by gender or sex means a lot of people will end up mimicking what they think they should do rather than what’s the right thing for them and their partner!
@@sarahnelson8836 Agreed! There is some great advice in this video that many modern couples could learn from, but we've really moved beyond the idea of segregated roles in marriage. For some couples of course that might naturally suit their personalities and wishes, which is fine, but there are as many different types of couples as there are different types of people. Thinking of the most successful, long-lasting relationships among people I know, they look completely different at first glance, but the common factors are mutual respect, kindness, patience, generosity and good humour.
This taught me so much about relationships , I have to watch it again
I can relate to this more than I should..Because I have been married for 23 years now,and we lived next door to my in-laws for 19 of them..It was let's just say an experience and now that we have moved 4 hours away it feels like I have been set free..Our marriage has become so much tighter and closer now that we have some space and privacy..I understand why couples live near their families however if there is any warning signs that things will not work then take it from me Don't do it trust me it will only cause strife within your marriage..Lol
Wow! I couldn't have stood that for so long.!!!
I know what you mean. I live with my mom in law, and its really hard. It seems like she wants to have things her way. I have kids and it feels like shes trying to be the mom, and not me...
You lived next to your in-laws for 19 years? I've been married for 34 years and I couldn't have survived living next to my in-laws (or my parents) for 19 days. As soon as the young wife in this film said that she moved in with the in-laws I thought, "Oh well, that's the end of that marriage". You deserve the Nobel Peace prize!!
@@billmerryman5270 It was not exactly my idea to live next to them..My husband had already bought the 4 acres beside his parents in his early 20's so when we got married he asked if we could build a house on it? Well being naive I agreed and let's just say the rest was a huge learning experience. Unless you know for a fact that you can get along with your in-laws then don't do it not even for a brand new house with a 2 car garage trust me it just isn't worth it..
They say that the housing shortage (in cuba) causing couples to live with in-laws screws many Cuban marriages.
My husband and I never fought. We were together for nearly 10 years when we had our first fight. The truth was that neither one of us knew how to fight. The only fights we’ve had were about how to handle issues with our kids. Since we didn’t know how to fight, my husband pulled away. I just kept to myself. It was hard to present a unified front when dealing with our kids when I absolutely disagreed with his manner in dealing with a problem. It’s pretty healthy to have arguments. Not pointing finger arguments. More the “I feel…” arguments. We’ve never fought with the “you always…“ or “you never…“ type of arguments. We’ve been together for 25 years now. I’ve changed more than he has but we are nowhere near divorce.
Your story kinda made me choked up a little. I wish you both the best of luck.
Why is arguing healthy?? It really makes no sense that we just report speaking points to one another that we have heard. In reality, expressing a disagreeing point is not always helpful and with some people it isn't helpful at all and only stresses both people out and puts your relationship at a stand still. Any conversation should have a goal, just expressing how you feel is a poor goal. If you want the person to agree with you or just do what you say and that won't happen then what? How do you make it right? Someone has to relent, someone has to give up and if you are a Christian that person has to be someone, the wife. You should have a real goal, you don't have to agree with someone to respect how they handle a situation by not remarking or correcting as if one is a child under your care and direction. Until someone can tell you a way to handle problems that doesn't involve someone relenting, then they are not fit to say that arguments are healthy. Arguing is not healthy, expressing yourself is a necessity because we live in a world of disharmony.
@@ASmith-jn7kf it's ironic that you're the one arguing here 🤷♀️ Check yo self.
If you stop getting angry and start being calm, and think things through, nothing is as bad as it seems. A lot of young married folks start to bugtussling as soon as the ink is dry on the marriage license. They have to start listening instead of flapping their yaps.
I am so fortunate to have had 2 great mothers-in-law who were wonderful friends, as well as family. I was thankful neither would butt into our private affairs and I learned a great deal from them. Now my daughter is married and I only dispense advice when they explicitly ask for it, which they both do frequently. It makes me feel as if I've done things they respect me for. There are certainly things I would have done differently than they did but it was not my place to say. They are grown adults who have the right to do things in their own way.
God, the way they talked it out was so lovely....i didnt anticipate him bringing up her father, then she was so humble and sweet when she could see his frustration....god, to be so sweet.....good luck everyone, love first, dont give up on the people you love
ASTONISHING!!!❤❤
Showing the real goal of marriage with values!😭❤👍🏽
And he shall leave his parents and cleave unto his wife and the two shall become one flesh.
Christopher Stuart Lol fuck you
@@cstuartdc there's a saying that two queen bees can't live in the same house. Too much conflict.
Janice Harris hmmm the same sex couples I work with seem to be doing just fine.
@@julies3837 a mother in law and daughter in law living in the same house is a lot different than same sex couples..
...yeeeessssss....flesh. Mmmmmm
Listening to these songs, I feel like I'm reliving the golden moments of my life. 🌟
You know its a vintage video when they say "our housing problem was taken care of..."
Me, halfway through: “Why is she talking in the past tense? OMG DID SHE KILL HIM???”
Kel Koeller 😂😂😂
1947 version of The Girl on the Train.
lol
She's guilty.. She did it.. You know it!! 😜
The plot haha
How important is to talk about these topics. Communication is the key of all relationships, mainly between husband and wife. For me, my husband should be my best friend, my partner, my love. ❤️💕
Very nice couple in this film. However, it is not a good idea to live too close to or with your in-laws.
Or your own parents--but if both people in the couple follow this advice, it works itself out.
The classic 19th century rule was to live at least "a good day's buggy ride" away.
So what should they have done? Maybe the widowed mother couldn't afford to keep the house on her own? Our society doesn't value taking care of its elders. Once you're no longer useful to your kids, they want to throw you in a nursing home. God forbid the grown kids have to give a little back and take care of their parents.
Eh. Multigenerational living seems economically and environmentally sound to me - whether or not it's a good idea really just depends on the specific people involved. How accepted it is depends on the culture too.
@@riggs20, the OP just said it's not a good idea, which it isn't, most likely. That doesn't mean they would reject helping each other's parents of they needed it. My husband and I lived with my mom for a time. It wasn't a good idea cuz of his and her differences but we didn't have much of a choice other than to deal with it. It hurt all relationships involved. However, that didn't stop any of us helping each other when asked.
3:07 "I feel like I can take my shoes off." 😂😂
I really appreciate these videos! I am getting married in September to my best friend
Imo this is the perfect person to marry! Congratulations to you!
Please like this whenever you see it, so i can come back to watch this amazing video.
You can't have a marriage if other people are interfering. At least back then you could own a house on one income and the wife wasn't made to feel guilty for raising the kids and not being a super achiever.
better chemistry then twilight
than
“Learning to enjoy liver because Pete liked it so much.” That folks, is self-giving sacrificial love right there.
No it's not! Sacrifice, surrender, humility, self accountable introspection among others is necessary for love to work on a relationship but torture doesn't have to be....
@@a.r.8987 But, think of all the sacrifices he made for her, though.... I mean, we didn't see any of them. Or even have any indication that there were any. But there probably were some. Is it too much to ask for her to give up her job and life for him and also eat liver? 🤷♂️
@@kumada84 😒
@@kumada84😂
Communication and friendship are vital. This year will be 37th anniversary.
These short videos make more sense than the entire world right now. Good old days, may have seemed harder, but at least they were logical. 🤔
I love Coronet films 😃🙊💞
I'm getting married soon and I might learn something.
Hone them sandwich making skills and give lots of BJs, hell you'll be fine!
Well here's ' learn lesson No. 1. Don't live with his mother.
@@cinerama62 and don’t give up your job.
I love that!
@@Brutus-co9dt
Hehehe 😀 I've worked at the same job for a dozen years.
This was soooo cute and just soooo.... informative and like nice!!!
I love this comment, idk why!
Love this! Good old fashion common sense way of life. Anyone notice Pete’s nice haircut 👍
If you have self-respect, You will marry someone who will respect you. And vice versa. This is the voice of sad experience. Self-esteem is so critical to a happy marriage.
This is so true! It’s similar to a thing I say about being a mother (which I am) and that is that after meeting their basic needs, you owe them your happiness. Theirs will follow.
I think our marriage has worked out beautifully because we don’t live near family. When we get irritable there is no mom or dad to run to and complain to, take advice from. We have to figure it out together. My in laws are trying to get us to leave where we live (we absolutely love Maine, they live south, which I lived near them for 6 years and hated every moment of being in the southern states) thankfully though my husband is not looking to move.
That’s just what Loretta Lynn said!
When she and Mooney moved from Kentucky to Idaho early in their marriage, she said it was great for them, because they couldn’t just run home to family when they had a fight.
Dang man that suprise ending got me tearing up like a baby. Great short film
My story is painful. My wife and I boughe a house near her parents, we had a great relationship with all of them, but it was oursiblings that caused us a lot of grief, interfering a lot. My wife was my parents favourite daughter in law, causing so much jealousy. Her parents split and we took her father in when he had nowhere to go.
He lived with us and ruled everything, and he made a deal that he would pay off our mortgage if we cared for him. He had met a woman who he moved in with and she insisted he get his money back. Ourwhole family turned against us, and we lost our house to pay him back, and moved 2000 miles away.
We struggled and with four kids, never got ahead. My wife got breast cancer and our kids ran away, S She now has dementia , misses her friends back home and her kids avoid her , expect her to get better, and always asking for money. We are on a pension. and father is being mollycoddled by her siblings and nobody gives a fuck,
My advice, never borrow or take money from your parents. EVER.
Bloody sad story. I get the feeling that many loud, overexcited and nosy people were involved. In my family there's quiet discussion about property and arrangements, but we've had a fair bit of property and some left over wealth from the last generation. Not much but it helps. Especially helps for everyone to be serious.
Sorry to hear. You are a very caring person.
Forgiveness and Friendship are important And it will be easier to discuss important issues that come up and keeping your Husband happy and being a Addition and Helper Not a problem or a complainer who Never Satisfied..Appreciate his efforts Big N Small..Least but last one dont go to bed Mad at eachother Pray together instead
Show this to the couples with marriage problems.
I'd be leery of some guys watching this, as some like to blame everything on the woman and not know when to hold himself accountable. He'll see it, complaining about not enough women are like this, failing not to see he should earn that kind of woman and just don't expect that kind. I would love to see Dhar Mann videos go major viral.
@@holyexperience1976 those are called low value men stay away🤣🤣
@@Peayou...
No joke there! Bless your very spirit for your response!
@@holyexperience1976 Show this to the newlyweds who are even remotely thinking of moving in with their parents.
Alright, Ive seen the rest of the video and Petes ok. He talks about his feelings and he listens to her. I take back my earlier comment. Theyll do just fine.
Love is Forgiving often and not hold grudges move forward that’s what I learned in my marriage of 13 yrs
My mom and dad were like this to the end of their life. They were soooo happy. Wasn’t perfect but they always put each other first 67 years
It’s taught me so many things
We’ve been married 42 years.
Really interesting and I love the partnership aspect of the advice. But also interesting that this sort of move away from the parents contributed to some isolation in American families, or a disconnection that was very different compared with typical family dynamics a century or less earlier
I noticed that too. It really feels like there was an agenda behind this film, tbh.
idk why but I like all the couples in these old informational vids. They’re so...civilized. And innocent
Propaganda.
@@MsAngelique I mean it is. Right? In the future when people look at our media, they’ll see a bunch of perfectly filtered, clean eating super humans and wonder what happened to their own generation.
Stop bottling things up, communicate respectfully and work things out together.
Wow, what a lovely video! Full of insightful wisdom too!
It's interesting how you can see both the strong foundation of marriage properly understood as a partnership, but also the creeping acquiescence to a modernity that is undermining that foundation. The marriage exists to solidify the family, and the family to solidify the community, which in turn solidifies the larger society. But, thanks to the freedom that economic prosperity has given them, they are able to take their solid marriage away from the minor inconveniences of their greater family, and away from their community. Their children will rarely see the grandparents, who in turn will spend the day alone. The children will grow in their solid nuclear family, but will do so in a community that has no history with them and in which the members are temporary, present until a better job moves them away. So, the children will see little point in having children of their own, little value in marriage, and then ultimately, little value in that job they don't really care for. And that folks, is how we get to 2023.
This is a smart comment.
44 years for us this December…
never stop laughing with each other
Catch the resentment early and snuff it out …Date night every Friday night
Good times when marriage means growing together not a thing after you become successful .
These videos teach old values of family
This was so peaceful to watch 🥲🥹
She could have just worked part time, then she would have had a paycheck and time to keep the house going.
Most married women worked back in the day, if not full time, then part time. I remember a really popular shift was 9 to 2 for the mothers. Mothers could drop the kids off at school, go work five hours, then get off at 2 and have time to pick up the kids. Depending on the work, that could bring in $1000 to $2000 a month in todays money.
$1000 to $2000 a month? Where do you live? I work full time and barely bring that much in.
@@user-pc8ee8sx7v in a major city. It is not easy to survive here. Rent is a grand or two a month and much more for the rich areas.
@@user-pc8ee8sx7v I like your play list. Message me, lets talk.
@@newlifeme1
I would say tougher to survive in the rural, as not as much college educated work to be found. At least in my proximity. Folks going to another rural town at least an hour away to work, including crossing state line. If college educated, might as well move, because even self-business unless lawyer or doctor, does not easily thrive.
@@user-pc8ee8sx7v what do you do for a living?
It's easier just to accept the mother-in-law's advice if she has good intentions. When the mother-in-law is a widow, she needs some extra attention. Of course, its hard because young women crave so much emotional support, yet need to feel independent. A mother-in-law can teach so many things and make life easier if she has good will and isn't jealous of the wife. I think its better for a young couple to start out some distance from the parents to get some independence, but move closer when the children are born, unless they are dysfunctional parents.
I cried, I wish everyone was like this...
I have that apron!
Thanks, Cyriak.
Marriage is challenging enough and a lot of work on its own to have additional stressors and issues.
Living too close or with your inlaws or parents is a first time big no-no.
Pete's fault-- he suggested the mother-in-law for bridge...
A job in Central City! That's just talking about trouble. It's a cesspool of sin where people sleep in late on the weekends and smoke cigarettes.
with Blackjack and Hookers and Flash!
And watch the late show!
@@bradleyweiss1089 And orgies with all the neighbors.😉
With a capital T
Married life isn't all Hollywood moonbeams and honeysuckle.
I became focused on how many times the lead actress does that same rueful little sniff-laugh. From the very start, even.... "On our way now [sniff]. Can't turn back."
I love my husband. We have grown together just like this.❤
So sweet & a blessing ❤
They are the cutest!
Geez Pete's mom actually seems nice like she just wants to be her friend
I wish I had a Mother in law ! She passed away a few months before we got married....would have loved to get to know her better😢
She seems nice but she should't go into younger woman parties and clean behind her step daughter. That's bad taste
My ex mother in law is still like a mother to me. So I am like an adult daughter to her. And my current mother in law is an equally loving human being. I’ve been really lucky in the mother in law department.
Yes but when you live together little things become big things, and you just want your independence, you appreciate it but you need space
She can go find friends at church not take over her daughter-in-laws'...
Amazing. They had their lives together. They met at church. They must've known of each other before they officially met at church especially if the guy worked with her dad. They were essentially pre-vetted. Not a random stranger coming over to your house the first time you talk to them. No alcohol involved. Only good intentions of helping one another build a house and a family. They worked for each other. They did get into arguments, but thought hard about why and probably didn't take it too far. Their parents must've given them nicer examples of domestic disputes than most kids see. People should never be selfish as if the partner doesn't exist or only exists to boost the demanding partner's needs. I love this whole film. It is ideal. People will mock it because it seems too perfect and out of reach. But why not chase a high ideal instead of a low one. I'm not sure if kids dating today have any ideals at all besides physical appearance. That is a recipe for hundreds of unplanned and unresolvable conflicts if chasing appearance leads to the wrong personality multiple times in a row. People get so sour and don't share to with their family. They only share horrible stories with same sex peers until they end up resenting the other side. But the other side is not evil. It is more likely that the ones that were selected were evil.
I think too many people who are commenting are mistaking this very ideal situation for the reality of most couples in the 1950s. This was always the ideal and the reason why these videos were made were because too many people did not live up to it even back then. We still have marriages like this today (even with both partners working and sharing responsibilities or even subscribing to strict gender roles of the household...or with same-sex marriages and what not). Even if you feel like society now is all messed up or whatever, the truth is every time period will have ideals to aspire to but the reality is always a lot messier and complicated. And if you already have a bias that is nostalgic and idealizing the 1950s style strict gender roles, you're only taking the best examples from back then (and this is a video not real life) and taking the worst examples of today to support your point.
THANKYOU!! You get it.
I love this comment. Some people are truly happiest in the home. Regardless of gender. And that’s where they do their best work.
Some people however have too much curiosity to stay home all the time.
If your partner doesn’t understand either of these, it might not be the right relationship for you.
You’re wrong. Things weren’t perfect but they were better then. The current notion of “gender equality” is completely irrational, anti-biological and has severely damaged society.
I just wish our current society (especially those who have the platform and influence) aimed at promoting and educating healthy ideals instead of applauding worst and destructive ones that tear apart relationships, families and society.
Awww this was sweet
I've learned that I need to be my partners friend first.. Honesty & respect then love...
This video really helps us to understand about marriage 💑thank you & God Bless your wonderful channel
Therefore shall a man LEAVE his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
Thank God if your marriage is well succeed. I learnt something from this video
I feel like growing up no one was ever taught life skills in schools
Very few anyways
Oh THEY AREN'T except those stupid "say no to drugs" idiots doing dance moves that the school would bring in. The losers who never made it in Hollywood.
I absolutely agree with this. I went to an unusual school. Beyond normal academics, everyone had to take basic auto shop and cooking. I do my own brake work now because of auto shop. We were also required to take one fine arts class, from junior high up to graduation year, choice of music, theatre, or visual arts. We had to also take either sociology or general psych in the 12th grade. And of course we had all the sciences.
We were also all required to take practical economics in the 11th grade. Which taught us how to budget, manage money, negotiate salaries, that sort of thing. As well as educating us on the current economic climate and how to navigate it. I even took an elective class about foraging for food.
My school was weird but I loved the education it tried to give me.
Actually now that I think back, our history teacher, who herself held a PhD, ditched the compulsory final exam in lieu of a thesis. She gave us a choice. Write a thesis, or take the exam. She was tough af, so I chose the thesis. And she acted as advisor for those of us who made this choice. She really prepared me for university
Another wonderful vid. Thank you so much for uploading it:)!
America is nothing like this anymore and that is a shame.
If we had the values of yesteryear with the technology and knowledge of today it would just be amazing.
No online dating sites, less societal pressure to live like rich movie stars, and more common sense without unrealistic demands. That works better than the 2022 Dystopian confusion.
I mean, they had this expression that my granny always used: “keeping up with the Joneses”
It’s always been a thing. It’s just easier for the Joneses to share now.
One thing this story taught me, unfortunately, is that it is best to marry someone who has the same cultural upbringing as you. Marriage is hard enough as is.
The couple in the story understood implicit things that they didn’t have to argue about (her having to stay home and not work, taking care of elders, respect). These are common sense things that are not evident in all cultures.
I am not taking about European vs. Scandinavian. I am talking about marrying into a family that has the same values your family does. No matter the race/country. Your values create your family culture.
Values? Or subjugation of women?
Why not just say a person with compatible goals?
@@sarahnelson8836 Compatible goals are something different. Same values = same worldview.
@@Mitzi73 then I strongly disagree, you don’t need the same worldview to be able to be harmonious together. It is impossible, in fact, for two different people to share that completely. Not to mention one’s worldview can and should change as you grow and learn.
Mutual respect for each others different world views is what is important - though some level of agreement is preferred absolute or even majority agreement is both unlikely and fundamentally unstable. The only way such a relationship could last is if it actively hampered and discouraged the growth and becoming of one or both of the partners.
Having compatible life goals and expectations is what is more relevant. And the ability to be vulnerable with one another.
Needing the same worldview would make judgement front and center from the beginning, not vulnerability.
"I feel comfortable around you, I feel like I can take my shoes off 🥰"
Phrases sure were different back then
She knew the honeymoon was over the day they moved in with his mother
And don’t quit your job. Never give up financial independence
The day that happened she needed to put a divorce lawyer and the local hostage negotiation team on speed dial.
As someone who has been nothing short of lucky af with mothers, I can safely say that short of homelessness, I’d never move in with a MIL. It’s just too close for comfort.
@@BeckBeckGo Yes it is too close for comfort it's basically an undermining of the marriage.
Two( mommy and son) against one (you)
@@billmerryman5270 Then, men have absolute command over the wife, including if she worked, was seen as normal. We know better now.
That was the most romantic thing in the world!
She looks like the boy from Flight of the Navigator!
I love the realness of people's emotions. Old movies were like this, they dealt with real emotions and conversations. Maybe why we all have a warped idea about love and relationships. Why individualism has increased.
Step one, don't live in the same house as your mother in law. I LOVE my mother in law but… really lol. I'd go crazy if I couldn't work. I can't imagine being home alone all day with no Sonos to fill the silence.
I would personally love to be home all day but every person is different. It would be even better to be able to work from home. Then I could make money and not have to leave the house.
I lived with my in laws and it was wonderful, but only did that for 5 months until I fed them arsenic.
Simir Johnson ✨😆👌🏼
In 1950, the last thing you’d be at home is bored. The volume of home responsibilities required someone home to deal with it all. Take a good look at her kitchen. The refrigerator was high tech item. Most people still had ice-boxes if anything. This is before polyester clothes had to ironed before washing machines you had to wash then run it through the ringer and no clothes dryers, you had to use clothes line. Most families had one car if any. Before TV. Before microwave. Before TV dinners. If you were hungry you fixed your own food or went to a diner unless you hired a cook. Shoes had to be shined and cared for as they were expensive. If you were thrifty you made your own clothes either way you had to repair all clothing because new clothes were expensive. Vacuum cleaners were barely invented. You had to sweep and beat out rugs. Wood floors had to be cared for. Trash had to managed. If your in rural there was livestock and gardens to tend to. Can’t begin to talk about how much harder that was. In ten years that all changed, mainly because of electricity and gas being cheap.
Deb Carsey Had to walk to school to....uphill both ways.
Married nearly 46 years. We have always treated each other with courtesy and respect. We still say please, thank you and you're welcome. If you are polite to strangers, yoù should be polite to the people you love.
This is beautiful ❤️ natural order❤️
This is Anne Malia, I courted my husband Ken for 7years before I married him, now we are settled and happy❤
I think his first comment wasn't necessarily deserving of such vitriol. The sexes are equal? Yes, equal in value and worth, but not equal in dispositions and abilities (broadly speaking.) Men and women are different and this should be celebrated not diminished. That being said I do laundry and cooking and dishwashing and am happy to in addition to working 5 days a week. :) I'd be happier for my (future) wife not to work (at least not full time) but nor would I prevent her from doing so.
You have a sensible realistic view. If more people (both men and women) were to think and act like you do divorces would be a last resort always. People would work things out rather than automatically giving up so quickly.
Personally, we are equal, because we are both born naked, valuable and dependent on others around us. People make the mistake of confusing equality to sameness. Even men can't be the same to one another, just as women are different from one another. The problem comes with the sense of superiority. That one is better than the other. Not all men are physically stronger than women, etc. Just as not all women have maternal instincts better than men, etc. Just need to find our own complementary spouses. ^_^
ShawDAMAN Single?😉
“There we were living in our own place” it’s his mothers house and she lives upstairs?
where have we missed out!!
the oldes really enjoyed marriage.
They should have never stopped these life lesson shorts
So they were going through the same problem! Both dealing with in-laws looking over their shoulder