NARCISSISTS N - Never does anything without strings or be wrong A - Avoids accountability and empathy R - Rages when they don't get their way C - Childish and stunted in their brain age I- Instills doubts in others and creates conflicts S - Stonewalls and walks away to avoid responsibility S - Smear Campaigns and slanders you to others I- Initiates arguments and gaslights you into reacting S - Silent treatments and silencing your voice T - Triangulates you and others against you S - SERIOUSLY SICK & DYSFUNCTIONAL
They ask you not expose them but then turn around and make up lies and embellish on a comment made and tell everyone around you unbeknownst to you. They are pathetic.
5:30 🎯🎯 The appearance of having a beautiful happy family is so important to someone who's trying to prove to everyone from their past that "they weren't the problem"
I just said this the other day, narcissistic people are impossible to please !!! If you’re super close to them ! Super impulsive and just searching for a new high !
Always searching for a new high.. spending is insane because they can never have enough, and I noticed they covet so much, so they are easily distracted by what others have
They know internally that they are a hot mess, so the house, the car ", the look" is the curtains they hide behind peeping to make sure everyone is still looking and admiring them. It will never be enough to ever make them feel "normal" and BECAUSE they can never seem to achieve normalcy no matter what they do, well, you'll always be the punching bag.
I had to learn this the hard way …. When I first met my husband he bragged about his house which wasn’t even up to par…his truck (which was a lease) and he was Smug! I never had to lease any of my trucks and I can afford the upkeep of my house 🏠….. He looked down on everyone including me as if he’s better than everyone….
Current research indicates that most NPDs do have empathy, usually on a diminished level. The issue is that the narc's needs must always come first above anyone else.
PS since you mentioned your age and how you are growing can I say that it’s really obvious. Since joining this community I’ve gone back years with your videos and they were always helpful but holy shit you mature and become more and more genuine and strong and funny and real and just glow up exponentially every year. Like you seem happier and just better. Now is your best in every way, physically emotionally and intellectually your presence is apex right now and I know every year will keep upping. It’s really inspiring.
Someone I know said “they are living their life to show the women that did not stay with them know what they are missing.” It’s sad to know that this person is living their life with this as their focus instead of being grateful for the wife, kids, job, etc., that they currently have.😔
I am absolutely dealing with this in real time. during what may or may not be a final discard I don’t actually know😂. “ if I find out that you’re running your mouth about what’s going on you will regret it” “If you tell anyone about what’s going on, I will ruin you.” And I know it’s all because he doesn’t wanna be seen as a cheater or someone who’s breaking up our family. His flawless.😂
Thanks for your transparency brother. This was enlightening about the misery of the narcissist. From experience I’ve concluded narcissism is a sub-conscious construct of protection to counter feelings of vulnerability and self-loathing.
I'm grateful for you Lee. Even though your narcissistic survivors community is your new supply, you've turned this into a positive. You've turned your need for external validation into something that helps others. That's a good thing. Your community shows you how much they appreciate you. This fills that void in you that those previous jobs you've done never have.
Right??? And the way he says it like, this righteous dude just taking us under his wing and protecting us from really confusing abusive experiences. So empowering.
I can't tell you how much I appreciate you and your channel, Lee. I'm going through an extremely difficult experience at the moment with a pair of narcissist sisters that have been harassing me. I want absolutely nothing to do with them and they've been attempting to force a relationship with me. I blocked them by phone and even tried to call me from another number trying to pin me down. Seriously creepy. A right pair of bunny-boilers they are. All your insights and everything you share helps me to understand them so much more.
100%. The general message that I perceive is that they believe that you should just do what you’re supposed to do to not upset them, and let’s just not start the list of possible things that could upset them because it will be here all day long all month long all year long… But basically when they feel ill at ease, it’s something that you did, and you need to be punished for it. If only you had behaved exactly the way that you were supposed to behave, I wouldn’t have to be punishing you… Now you made me do this. Utterly disturbing.
After I discarded my ex gf, one question kept coming in my mind, was she truly a narcissist? The answer I got was, if out of 7 days in a week, we were fighting 6 days, the relationship was not right. If you left the relationship due to daily drama, you were definitely not the bad person in that relationship. As narcissists loves drama.
My son has narsisistic tendencies and he is always on the lookout for change. He bores easily and in that process he destroys any good thing in his life at the present moment.
Yeah he needed validation feom his friends at the age of 56 yrs old.he would abuse me behind closed doors and would get so defensive if I asked him about this girl who he was friends with.he would talk to her more,spend time with her and would get so upset if I said anything.im glad he's out of my life.
@TheAdventuresOfCollegeGiRL i haven't healed,i just left him recently.dealing with PTSD,it's very traumatic and just taking one day at a time.but i couldnt take the abuse anymore.he tried to unalive me many times,I realized that is not the way I want to leave this world.he doesn't deserve my love or me.they are seriously the devil.
I had this narcisistic ex who really annoyed the shit out of me. And he was constantly unhappy but not as a ill/depressed person who js struggling in life. More of a existential frustration and dissatisfaction. He was always winning and complaining that I didn't do everything he wanted me to do to him. And years later he reached out to me saying that doesn't matter the person who he is with, he always feels like there is this dissatisfaction. He thought that being with someone "better than me" would solve his problem but it didn't. I saw this coming, got tired of all his crap and dumped his ass. 7 years later he still tries to punish me for breaking up with him. Every time he sees me he starts to stalk me and reach out to me to say mean stuff about me and that i was "his true love" and that "he suffered sooo much". I seriously needed to set boundaries to him because I wasn't willing to tolerate his toxic behavior
I appreciate how real you keep it! I feel a little less lonely somehow knowing this is not in my head cause I swear he be gaslighting me into thinking if we just did everything better and remembered all of these little things to do and not do that he wouldn't have to get angry over stupid shit all the time.
At 10 minutes you said a cool thing- you said you’ve been the happiest doing coaching social media because it helps others. And Lee I’ve always heard the quote love and happiness doesn’t have to be shared or split, it multiplies and keeps giving that emotional happy high which is the best drug in a way to keep that inner self feeling self love! And also, LEE you’ve done some really amazing jobs before you took on this one all before she 40 so you need a huge boost of confidence from others you helped by hearing us tell you, you’ve always been enough and great! And I hate to hear you never felt it inside but don’t feel alone, even non-narcs never feel enough. So I understand it’s not automatic to feel happy. I have a law degree- served 6 years army as a paralegal also and at 39 years old I don’t think others value me. I thinks narcissistic people and people like me can relate to that trigger and as we know, it’s definitely childhood trauma that’s made us doubt ourselves. But nonetheless Lee- you ALWAYS BUILD US UP and you’re doing more than any person can do and I’m grateful you do this work. Thank you 😊
When I was a teen, I snapped 'oh that sucks, maybe we should move house about it, again' when my narc mum whined about some superficial nonsense. Didn't realise I was literally calling out the truth until my 40's, when all these flashbacks made perfect sense. When I went no contact, I learned they literally moved house about it, too. A huge, expensive house for two elderly people with no grandkids, no friends, no nothing. But hey, it's the most expensive house in the neighbourhood, so they were happy for three seconds, lol.
The sad part is that they act on their dark side. I’ve met a guy with very high narcissistic traits and I wanted to get to know him. He let me, but I discovered he is a serial cheater. He says something, but does exactly the opposite, I mean it’s just words, he can lie for as long as he wants. I am not that happy with myself either, but I don’t go around hurting men the way he does it with girls. Cheating leaves your soul empty, being already unhappy with yourself, imagine it becomes even worse. And it’s so easy for him, probably that’s why he does it. He still wants to keep contact with me, but the truth is, no matter how interested and curious I am about him, I can’t ignore my feelings, it hurts by simply talking to him. I can’t do what I think, my well being is affected.
Thank you Lee! Growth looks great on you! ❤ I’ve been watching your videos since November 2021, when I first left my ex narcissist! I thank God I walked away because it literally saved my life! Now all I seem to do is attract more narcissistic men, but I’m more aware of the signs & red flags! I know nobody is perfect and we all have problems! I just want them to start stepping up and taking responsibility of there life and mental health issues! I appreciate you for your self awareness and taking accountability because some men are scared to be vulnerable and show their feelings! You are going to help change so many men! Hopefully they will consider getting therapy so they can have a healthy relationship!
I'll never forget when my ex husband called his dad complaining about his narcissistic mother and his dad literally said " you how your mom is, just leave it alone" I was like WTFFFF
They are not happy inside and want to find others that are happy to be around. When i was happy it upset him. You can’t expose a narcissist they will defame you at all costs.
Acquiring money is tied to everything I hate about life. Radical freedom *would* make me happy. If I had 1000$ deposited into my account every week for life, I'd be much happier, I'd have a situation that most people would envy, so that would take care of the eyeroll-inducing ''So what are you up these days?'' I'd be spending the holidays in the snow, January and February in the desert somewhere in the US, traveling in March and April, chilling, staying active, being in nature, lifting weights the rest of the year. Happiness-wise, I'd be very tough to beat. None of the shame, wounds, humiliation of the past would make me lose my smile/peace.
My husband of 14 years took off on our children and I to go chase his dreams of becoming a professional car drifter. He also found new supply in the same week he left us, and completely ignored our children for Christmas, and couldn’t be bothered to send them anything, but he took himself out on a shopping spree and bought his new supply gifts. It makes me wonder if he’s truly happy or if he’ll ever regret discarding us the way he did.
Bar’s on bar’s Lee🎉🙌💯 You da GOAT 🐐 and so much more than you’ll ever see but I’m glad you can feel the love through us all because you give me 15 minutes at a time of coaching and reflection and advice for FREE. That’s some WWJD type stuff 🫶😇❤️
Great insights, Lee. It’s fascinating to hear about the internal struggles narcissists face and how difficult it is to find genuine happiness from within. Your journey toward self-awareness is inspiring. Keep sharing your experiences; they truly help others to understand and navigate complex relationships. - from Detroit 🇺🇸
Lee, you have come a very long way from where you were before. So much respect to you, my dear brother! Like and share your videos is what I always do. Thanks so much!👏🏾 🎉😊
Yep it's killing me how my husband says that he is unhappy/ has "no joy" and I try so hard to bring more joy into our lives 😣. We even do therapy together and it doesn't help.
I'm an autistic empath & I've also had the same problem with needing validation. Being internally happy feels like delusions of grandeur. I've experienced lots of bullying & narcissistic abuse so I've got a lot of mental problems from it.
Glory be to God for you being able to find gratitude and happiness out of your disorder that help not only yourself, but othersGod bless you and your family Lee in Jesus name Amen❤️🙏🏽🤲🏽
Great video, A month ago, my five-year relationship came to an end. I really can't stop thinking about the love of my life, who made the decision to leave me. I've done everything in my power to win him back, but it's all in vain, and I can't imagine my life with anyone else. I genuinely miss him and just can't stop thinking about him, even though I've tried my hardest to stop thinking about him. I'm not sure why I'm saying this here.
It's hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn't just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤
They will extort their self. My narcissistic ex-wife told the dude she was cheating with. Don't tell her secret. He says, "Show me them, boobs.And I won't, so she snuck out the house to show him
I think I have aspd and adhd. I know I also have a little bit of narcissistic tendencies and some very empathetic tendencies as well. I remember in your other video you posted you said something like narcissists wonder why other people have what they have or deserve it and I feel that way sometimes but I guess internally I don’t think I’m deserving of h those things (which I’ve talked to my therapist about). I would consider myself a super empath based on my research when I watch another self aware narcissist called HDTutor. I’ve been watching your videos for years now on various accounts. Thanks for the information it provides great insight and advice. ❤️
Yes ,they hate when others are happy ,they want everyone around them to be unhappy like they are ,they will specifically take down the house ,if everyone in house is happy ,emotional vampires
Mine told me he wanted the most beautiful dog and extravagant fur and size (Alaskan Malamute) because of how much attention our dog gets. But hates taking care of him and said well I changed my mind, I have too many other responsibilities...he doesn't. It drove me crazy. He thought I'd agree to render my dog...hell naw! My dog is the reason I'm finally leaving. Like, what kind of person just decides to give up a dog because you got bored of him...a narc. A good topic Lee, may be can a narc actually love a pet?
No they love no one they are cold hearted 😢 mine left me with a 15 day old baby just because I won’t name my child after his mother.. he was in and out of my life throughout the pregnancy left for few days to “ recharge while I’m recovering from a c section bcz he was “struggling with his mental health it’s always me me me have no empathy for anyone not animals not children
It's often only when narcs act heinous to true innocents that we tend to go 'aww hell no' and finally escape. You and your dog saved each other. In my experience, they can't love pets. Had a lot of suspiciously short lived and sickly pets growing up, plus an aunt's dog who passed away in suspicious circumstances while in my mother's 'care'. I'm no contact now and it sounds silly, but I have a note on my phone lock screen 'in case of emergency' thing that if I'm in an accident or something, don't let those people anywhere near my fur babies. Highly unlikely, but better safe than sorry
@JanetSnakehole28 yes!! I say now that though my baby bear is a giant and requires a lot of exercise and training, he is push to leave because I'm scared of leaving him alone with the narc as I've seen him mistreat him and I lunged to defend him. No one can hurt my Kylo. They can't love animals. They will hurt them especially the innocent loving goofy ones like mine who loves everyone but at 105 lbs and still growing he will not be easy to shove around. My narc and him darn near weight the same. Kylo absolutely saves me every day. Great idea, thanks!
@livinganddyingabroad I HATE this. Mine says, "at the end of the day I gotta worry about my own peace and do whatever it takes to get it" REALLY? NO. You create peace by handling responsibilities and promises with dignity and righteousness. He can get over himself. Leave a 15 day old baby??! But if the tables were turned?? I'm sorry, this makes me so mad. I'm sorry
lol, I was told by my covert narcissistic ex girlfriend not to tell others how she is after we broke up. She wanted me to lie and make out that she is awesome and I was the bad one. I can't lie to save myself sooo......
Almost positive he hides my existence from certain people. He says I haven’t met his mother b/c she would lose it if she found out he’s with a woman of color and he’ll tell her only if/when we bout to walk down the isle. I’ve met his closest friends but the not so serious friends (mostly female)- I’ve met but NEVER hear about them. Even though they talk regularly & one, I found out STILL sends inappropriate pics/vids. “I told her to stop and blocked her for 3 months.” But she still occasionally sends. 🤯
The woman of color thing may be a lie just so you don't meet his parents. I've heard excuses "they won't like you because you have kids". Don't fall for it. If he's proud of you, he'll show you off. On the flipside, if she's racist, she's probably a narc. Run.
They don't care throw a tantrum in front of others and tell everyone you made them act that way, and crazy thing is they all believe them...even after seeing them act the fool. Nuts
Let's be honest, many people, especially young people, even if they are not narcissistic, also obtain what they believe is happiness from external validation, that is a fact, many psychologists have already talked about this topic. In fact, it is known that the vast majority of people begin to be happy from the age of 50, because they begin to have inner peace and that is really happiness, and not everything we think we need when we are younger, such as being fisically attractive, having a nice car and house, many friends, social recognition etc etc. So this not only affects narcissists, it is an evil of the consumerist society that we have created
omg my narcissistic ex was 39 and is turning 40 in JULY! lmao he is a CANCER! ARE ALL CANCERS NARCISSISTS!?? MY MOM IS A CANCER AND IS THE BIGGEST COVERT NARCISSIST ON THE PLANET. OMG. this is crazy hahaha. ugh
I can surely say they r impossible to pliz and understand bcoz they do not even understand themselves in the first place. They only try hard to b relevant but oh my word all backfires for them and hence no happiness for themselves. 😢
Narcissists cannot feel 'happiness' they only feel the effect of Narcissistic supply, they mistakenly think that is 'happy' but it doesn't last them long.
How does one talk to a narc spouse about therapy being beneficial? My undiagnosed narc hubby truly trashes therapy as being only for people who are weak, dumb, and want to learn tools to manipulate others 🥴
The narcissist I was dealing with searched for women with a specific nationality/roots, I looked like those roots but I don't have those roots so he didn't settle with me. He is now married to someone with someone with that roots but is chasing more women with those roots. Why if narcisssits can use everyone as supply, why are they going for a specific type?
They also sabotage themselves from being happy. They are their own worst enemy but they blame everyone else for their problems.
This! 💯
@@1969tb Yep
No responsibility for themselves, only others! Spot On!
Spot on! Truly pathetic..
💯💯💯💯
NARCISSISTS
N - Never does anything without strings or be wrong
A - Avoids accountability and empathy
R - Rages when they don't get their way
C - Childish and stunted in their brain age
I- Instills doubts in others and creates conflicts
S - Stonewalls and walks away to avoid responsibility
S - Smear Campaigns and slanders you to others
I- Initiates arguments and gaslights you into reacting
S - Silent treatments and silencing your voice
T - Triangulates you and others against you
S - SERIOUSLY SICK & DYSFUNCTIONAL
Accurate af!
I really like this
Dead on
So sadly true!
Your comment is so on point!!!
They ask you not expose them but then turn around and make up lies and embellish on a comment made and tell everyone around you unbeknownst to you. They are pathetic.
That is absolutely mind-boggling! They need people but they don't want to treat them right so that they would actually want to stick around! 🤦
It’s crazy
All they do is reframe as to why you weren’t so great after all and spread it around and tell other people about it.
My narcissistic ex-wife is never happy because she never got therapy and healing from childhood trauma
Seems my Narc is NEVER Happy either! So serious all the time! I'll be like, can't we just have fun for once?
Mine same way too! No matter what I do, I can't seem to make her happy and I'm the bad guy? A lack of self. I've been over this for a while
@Mrmuscles1970 I put up with a lot, but when she committed adultery, I had to get a divorce
A child and a narc will never ever be happy
@@ismailpatel7222 They are both the same.
5:30 🎯🎯 The appearance of having a beautiful happy family is so important to someone who's trying to prove to everyone from their past that "they weren't the problem"
🎯
Yes and its so frustrating when you do something nice for them and they dont see it
💯
I just said this the other day, narcissistic people are impossible to please !!! If you’re super close to them ! Super impulsive and just searching for a new high !
Always searching for a new high.. spending is insane because they can never have enough, and I noticed they covet so much, so they are easily distracted by what others have
They know internally that they are a hot mess, so the house, the car ", the look" is the curtains they hide behind peeping to make sure everyone is still looking and admiring them. It will never be enough to ever make them feel "normal" and BECAUSE they can never seem to achieve normalcy no matter what they do, well, you'll always be the punching bag.
Unfortunately you are right.
I had to learn this the hard way …. When I first met my husband he bragged about his house which wasn’t even up to par…his truck (which was a lease) and he was Smug! I never had to lease any of my trucks and I can afford the upkeep of my house 🏠….. He looked down on everyone including me as if he’s better than everyone….
Yes peeping curtains
They don't have empathy
😞
Current research indicates that most NPDs do have empathy, usually on a diminished level. The issue is that the narc's needs must always come first above anyone else.
I'm a bit slow at catching on, but once I realise they're a Narc, I'm out, walk away. Not worth it
Yup. I'm looking at moving farther away from my family. I'm already an hour away. Not far enough.
PS since you mentioned your age and how you are growing can I say that it’s really obvious. Since joining this community I’ve gone back years with your videos and they were always helpful but holy shit you mature and become more and more genuine and strong and funny and real and just glow up exponentially every year. Like you seem happier and just better. Now is your best in every way, physically emotionally and intellectually your presence is apex right now and I know every year will keep upping. It’s really inspiring.
You're right. Healing w a therapist, this is outcome of working it.
Dopamine hits is not happiness. Spot on- Happiness is within you.
‼️‼️‼️
Someone I know said “they are living their life to show the women that did not stay with them know what they are missing.” It’s sad to know that this person is living their life with this as their focus instead of being grateful for the wife, kids, job, etc., that they currently have.😔
‼️
I am absolutely dealing with this in real time. during what may or may not be a final discard I don’t actually know😂. “ if I find out that you’re running your mouth about what’s going on you will regret it” “If you tell anyone about what’s going on, I will ruin you.” And I know it’s all because he doesn’t wanna be seen as a cheater or someone who’s breaking up our family. His flawless.😂
Why are you still with him? The joke is on you, this sh*t isn't funny.
Thanks for your transparency brother. This was enlightening about the misery of the narcissist. From experience I’ve concluded narcissism is a sub-conscious construct of protection to counter feelings of vulnerability and self-loathing.
you’re welcome
I'm so glad you reminded me the Truth , happiness is an Inside job, not defined on the outside
I'm grateful for you Lee. Even though your narcissistic survivors community is your new supply, you've turned this into a positive. You've turned your need for external validation into something that helps others. That's a good thing. Your community shows you how much they appreciate you. This fills that void in you that those previous jobs you've done never have.
This knowledge is so empowering. I just can't begin to tell you. Thank you Lee.🙏🏽👍🏾
Total agreement. Between Lee and Dr.Ramani, they saved my life. Literally. I'm so thankful for them.
You are so welcome
@@cristolcarol9710 Me too!
Right??? And the way he says it like, this righteous dude just taking us under his wing and protecting us from really confusing abusive experiences. So empowering.
I second that!!! I like seeing people tell him this personally so he KNOWS we truly need your viewpoint outside of the basic information.
NARCs always move the goal post. Nothing isever enough for them!
I can't tell you how much I appreciate you and your channel, Lee. I'm going through an extremely difficult experience at the moment with a pair of narcissist sisters that have been harassing me. I want absolutely nothing to do with them and they've been attempting to force a relationship with me. I blocked them by phone and even tried to call me from another number trying to pin me down. Seriously creepy. A right pair of bunny-boilers they are. All your insights and everything you share helps me to understand them so much more.
I would imagine they stay unhappy because folks won’t just leave them alone and let them cheat, lol!
100%. The general message that I perceive is that they believe that you should just do what you’re supposed to do to not upset them, and let’s just not start the list of possible things that could upset them because it will be here all day long all month long all year long… But basically when they feel ill at ease, it’s something that you did, and you need to be punished for it. If only you had behaved exactly the way that you were supposed to behave, I wouldn’t have to be punishing you… Now you made me do this. Utterly disturbing.
Was with a NARC for 14 years i want ❤to write a book
Do it
Because they need to get positive emotions from others.
😩
Ok, well, then do positive things! 🤷♀️
@@foxiefair123 It's not that easy for them, their brain functions differently, they have a disorder
After I discarded my ex gf, one question kept coming in my mind, was she truly a narcissist?
The answer I got was, if out of 7 days in a week, we were fighting 6 days, the relationship was not right.
If you left the relationship due to daily drama, you were definitely not the bad person in that relationship.
As narcissists loves drama.
😶🙏🏽
My son has narsisistic tendencies and he is always on the lookout for change. He bores easily and in that process he destroys any good thing in his life at the present moment.
Yeah he needed validation feom his friends at the age of 56 yrs old.he would abuse me behind closed doors and would get so defensive if I asked him about this girl who he was friends with.he would talk to her more,spend time with her and would get so upset if I said anything.im glad he's out of my life.
Sounds familiar 🫤
How long have you been healing?
Yes they definitely do that
Triangulation 😢 they do that to break your self esteem. Sad is they do it on purpose
@TheAdventuresOfCollegeGiRL i haven't healed,i just left him recently.dealing with PTSD,it's very traumatic and just taking one day at a time.but i couldnt take the abuse anymore.he tried to unalive me many times,I realized that is not the way I want to leave this world.he doesn't deserve my love or me.they are seriously the devil.
This is your real calling brother and thank you
you’re welcome and Thank you
I had this narcisistic ex who really annoyed the shit out of me. And he was constantly unhappy but not as a ill/depressed person who js struggling in life. More of a existential frustration and dissatisfaction.
He was always winning and complaining that I didn't do everything he wanted me to do to him. And years later he reached out to me saying that doesn't matter the person who he is with, he always feels like there is this dissatisfaction.
He thought that being with someone "better than me" would solve his problem but it didn't. I saw this coming, got tired of all his crap and dumped his ass.
7 years later he still tries to punish me for breaking up with him. Every time he sees me he starts to stalk me and reach out to me to say mean stuff about me and that i was "his true love" and that "he suffered sooo much". I seriously needed to set boundaries to him because I wasn't willing to tolerate his toxic behavior
You sound like the real narc lol
I appreciate how real you keep it! I feel a little less lonely somehow knowing this is not in my head cause I swear he be gaslighting me into thinking if we just did everything better and remembered all of these little things to do and not do that he wouldn't have to get angry over stupid shit all the time.
Deserve to be exposed!!! Should not be parents!!!
At 10 minutes you said a cool thing- you said you’ve been the happiest doing coaching social media because it helps others. And Lee I’ve always heard the quote love and happiness doesn’t have to be shared or split, it multiplies and keeps giving that emotional happy high which is the best drug in a way to keep that inner self feeling self love!
And also, LEE you’ve done some really amazing jobs before you took on this one all before she 40 so you need a huge boost of confidence from others you helped by hearing us tell you, you’ve always been enough and great! And I hate to hear you never felt it inside but don’t feel alone, even non-narcs never feel enough. So I understand it’s not automatic to feel happy.
I have a law degree- served 6 years army as a paralegal also and at 39 years old I don’t think others value me.
I thinks narcissistic people and people like me can relate to that trigger and as we know, it’s definitely childhood trauma that’s made us doubt ourselves.
But nonetheless Lee- you ALWAYS BUILD US UP and you’re doing more than any person can do and I’m grateful you do this work.
Thank you 😊
We don't have to expose them they do it themselves
I absolutely love how fair, you are. This is a beautiful charachteristic of you. I am very proud of you.
When I was a teen, I snapped 'oh that sucks, maybe we should move house about it, again' when my narc mum whined about some superficial nonsense. Didn't realise I was literally calling out the truth until my 40's, when all these flashbacks made perfect sense.
When I went no contact, I learned they literally moved house about it, too. A huge, expensive house for two elderly people with no grandkids, no friends, no nothing. But hey, it's the most expensive house in the neighbourhood, so they were happy for three seconds, lol.
oh my goodness
They favourite phrase is “I am happy” 😂 no one’s buying what they selling
😆
Thank you Lee .you have no idea how helpful you are .greetings from Egypt 🌷
You are so welcome!
The sad part is that they act on their dark side. I’ve met a guy with very high narcissistic traits and I wanted to get to know him. He let me, but I discovered he is a serial cheater. He says something, but does exactly the opposite, I mean it’s just words, he can lie for as long as he wants. I am not that happy with myself either, but I don’t go around hurting men the way he does it with girls. Cheating leaves your soul empty, being already unhappy with yourself, imagine it becomes even worse. And it’s so easy for him, probably that’s why he does it. He still wants to keep contact with me, but the truth is, no matter how interested and curious I am about him, I can’t ignore my feelings, it hurts by simply talking to him. I can’t do what I think, my well being is affected.
Thank you Lee! Growth looks great on you! ❤ I’ve been watching your videos since November 2021, when I first left my ex narcissist! I thank God I walked away because it literally saved my life! Now all I seem to do is attract more narcissistic men, but I’m more aware of the signs & red flags! I know nobody is perfect and we all have problems! I just want them to start stepping up and taking responsibility of there life and mental health issues! I appreciate you for your self awareness and taking accountability because some men are scared to be vulnerable and show their feelings! You are going to help change so many men! Hopefully they will consider getting therapy so they can have a healthy relationship!
I found out ppl really knew just don’t say anything and will watch🤦♀️🤦♀️
Sad, but true people will mind their own business
Protect your peace
@@MentalHealness 7months no contact and protecting my peace is a must 💪🏽 thank Lee
I'll never forget when my ex husband called his dad complaining about his narcissistic mother and his dad literally said " you how your mom is, just leave it alone" I was like WTFFFF
@@Shawna87 😔
They are not happy inside and want to find others that are happy to be around. When i was happy it upset him. You can’t expose a narcissist they will defame you at all costs.
Im a cancer as well baby!!! Big 40 here too!!! 🎉❤ 1985
I ask my narcissist not to expose me because he only gives a one sided view of our relationship to his family and peers.
Acquiring money is tied to everything I hate about life. Radical freedom *would* make me happy. If I had 1000$ deposited into my account every week for life, I'd be much happier, I'd have a situation that most people would envy, so that would take care of the eyeroll-inducing ''So what are you up these days?'' I'd be spending the holidays in the snow, January and February in the desert somewhere in the US, traveling in March and April, chilling, staying active, being in nature, lifting weights the rest of the year. Happiness-wise, I'd be very tough to beat. None of the shame, wounds, humiliation of the past would make me lose my smile/peace.
Look at the smile😂❤.
You are so honest and funny 😁.
God bless you 🙏
🙏
I admire you so much, Lee. Thank you for sharing your battles
Thanks!
You’re welcome
My husband of 14 years took off on our children and I to go chase his dreams of becoming a professional car drifter. He also found new supply in the same week he left us, and completely ignored our children for Christmas, and couldn’t be bothered to send them anything, but he took himself out on a shopping spree and bought his new supply gifts. It makes me wonder if he’s truly happy or if he’ll ever regret discarding us the way he did.
oh my goodness
@@MentalHealness we are devastated!
Bar’s on bar’s Lee🎉🙌💯 You da GOAT 🐐 and so much more than you’ll ever see but I’m glad you can feel the love through us all because you give me 15 minutes at a time of coaching and reflection and advice for FREE. That’s some WWJD type stuff 🫶😇❤️
The most miserable people I've ever seen. Always green with Envy for other happy people. They're their own worse enemies
😔
LEE YOU ARE SPOT ON!! THANK YOU FOR SHARING 💙.
You are so welcome
Great insights, Lee. It’s fascinating to hear about the internal struggles narcissists face and how difficult it is to find genuine happiness from within. Your journey toward self-awareness is inspiring. Keep sharing your experiences; they truly help others to understand and navigate complex relationships. - from Detroit 🇺🇸
Thank you
Lee, you have come a very long way from where you were before. So much respect to you, my dear brother! Like and share your videos is what I always do. Thanks so much!👏🏾 🎉😊
Yep it's killing me how my husband says that he is unhappy/ has "no joy" and I try so hard to bring more joy into our lives 😣. We even do therapy together and it doesn't help.
It’s so frustrating when they don’t seem to care.
They truly are not Happy if they were they would treat people well not like crap
💯
First time here but been watching videos tysm 😊
Glad you're here!
I'm an autistic empath & I've also had the same problem with needing validation.
Being internally happy feels like delusions of grandeur.
I've experienced lots of bullying & narcissistic abuse so I've got a lot of mental problems from it.
Thank you for saying this! I feel this, that, when I feel happiness that it is delusional. I feel 💯 the same except I am an Empath with ADD
Hey,also same with autism and add
Glory be to God for you being able to find gratitude and happiness out of your disorder that help not only yourself, but othersGod bless you and your family Lee in Jesus name Amen❤️🙏🏽🤲🏽
Great video, A month ago, my five-year relationship came to an end. I really can't stop thinking about the love of my life, who made the decision to leave me. I've done everything in my power to win him back, but it's all in vain, and I can't imagine my life with anyone else. I genuinely miss him and just can't stop thinking about him, even though I've tried my hardest to stop thinking about him. I'm not sure why I'm saying this here.
It's hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn't just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.
Interesting! How did you locate a spiritual counsellor, and how can I get in touch with him most effectively?
His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive
Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤
They will extort their self. My narcissistic ex-wife told the dude she was cheating with. Don't tell her secret. He says, "Show me them, boobs.And I won't, so she snuck out the house to show him
I'm so proud of u, ur proving that ur indeed worthy!!! Just keep up the 👍🏿 work & stay 💪🏿 beloved brother!!!***ASHAY***
Just make a decision🙏🏽 on being happy and you will be happy🎯💞
Your hair is 😍
♥️
I think I have aspd and adhd. I know I also have a little bit of narcissistic tendencies and some very empathetic tendencies as well. I remember in your other video you posted you said something like narcissists wonder why other people have what they have or deserve it and I feel that way sometimes but I guess internally I don’t think I’m deserving of h those things (which I’ve talked to my therapist about). I would consider myself a super empath based on my research when I watch another self aware narcissist called HDTutor. I’ve been watching your videos for years now on various accounts. Thanks for the information it provides great insight and advice. ❤️
I'm here ❤🎉 Hi Lee
Heeeey
A lot of us seek outside validation when seeking happiness and were never taught to find it within ourselves and were not narcissist
Do they get triggered by people who are able to be happy ?
possibly
Yes ,they hate when others are happy ,they want everyone around them to be unhappy like they are ,they will specifically take down the house ,if everyone in house is happy ,emotional vampires
Mine told me he wanted the most beautiful dog and extravagant fur and size (Alaskan Malamute) because of how much attention our dog gets. But hates taking care of him and said well I changed my mind, I have too many other responsibilities...he doesn't. It drove me crazy. He thought I'd agree to render my dog...hell naw! My dog is the reason I'm finally leaving. Like, what kind of person just decides to give up a dog because you got bored of him...a narc.
A good topic Lee, may be can a narc actually love a pet?
No they love no one they are cold hearted 😢 mine left me with a 15 day old baby just because I won’t name my child after his mother.. he was in and out of my life throughout the pregnancy left for few days to “ recharge while I’m recovering from a c section bcz he was “struggling with his mental health it’s always me me me have no empathy for anyone not animals not children
It's often only when narcs act heinous to true innocents that we tend to go 'aww hell no' and finally escape. You and your dog saved each other.
In my experience, they can't love pets. Had a lot of suspiciously short lived and sickly pets growing up, plus an aunt's dog who passed away in suspicious circumstances while in my mother's 'care'.
I'm no contact now and it sounds silly, but I have a note on my phone lock screen 'in case of emergency' thing that if I'm in an accident or something, don't let those people anywhere near my fur babies. Highly unlikely, but better safe than sorry
@JanetSnakehole28 yes!! I say now that though my baby bear is a giant and requires a lot of exercise and training, he is push to leave because I'm scared of leaving him alone with the narc as I've seen him mistreat him and I lunged to defend him. No one can hurt my Kylo.
They can't love animals. They will hurt them especially the innocent loving goofy ones like mine who loves everyone but at 105 lbs and still growing he will not be easy to shove around. My narc and him darn near weight the same.
Kylo absolutely saves me every day.
Great idea, thanks!
@livinganddyingabroad I HATE this. Mine says, "at the end of the day I gotta worry about my own peace and do whatever it takes to get it" REALLY? NO. You create peace by handling responsibilities and promises with dignity and righteousness. He can get over himself. Leave a 15 day old baby??! But if the tables were turned?? I'm sorry, this makes me so mad. I'm sorry
I know one that fakes being happy, very selfish too.
Per usual. Right on time! How long oh Lord? How long?! 😒
lol, I was told by my covert narcissistic ex girlfriend not to tell others how she is after we broke up. She wanted me to lie and make out that she is awesome and I was the bad one. I can't lie to save myself sooo......
I’m a narcissist, who continually ends up with girls who are even more narcissistic than I am. One after the other.
oh man
Are they named Karma?😂
Almost positive he hides my existence from certain people.
He says I haven’t met his mother b/c she would lose it if she found out he’s with a woman of color and he’ll tell her only if/when we bout to walk down the isle.
I’ve met his closest friends but the not so serious friends (mostly female)- I’ve met but NEVER hear about them. Even though they talk regularly & one, I found out STILL sends inappropriate pics/vids.
“I told her to stop and blocked her for 3 months.”
But she still occasionally sends. 🤯
The woman of color thing may be a lie just so you don't meet his parents. I've heard excuses "they won't like you because you have kids". Don't fall for it. If he's proud of you, he'll show you off.
On the flipside, if she's racist, she's probably a narc. Run.
They are empty holes
I'm here my beloved brother***ASHAY***
Is this why my covert narcissist mother is always smiling like a lunatic in public?
They don't care throw a tantrum in front of others and tell everyone you made them act that way, and crazy thing is they all believe them...even after seeing them act the fool. Nuts
Hair down Lee, lol 🤣🤣..love it!
😂
Yes my husband wasn’t posting in a good mood if he had money to spend or was going some were fun even if it didn’t include me
Let's be honest, many people, especially young people, even if they are not narcissistic, also obtain what they believe is happiness from external validation, that is a fact, many psychologists have already talked about this topic. In fact, it is known that the vast majority of people begin to be happy from the age of 50, because they begin to have inner peace and that is really happiness, and not everything we think we need when we are younger, such as being fisically attractive, having a nice car and house, many friends, social recognition etc etc. So this not only affects narcissists, it is an evil of the consumerist society that we have created
Notis on! 💀
Ty
You are on fire!!! 🔥💖🙏💖
It would be amazing to hear the side of things from your wife’s perspective. How she handles your bad days and good.
💯
Probably cuz they are the one who makes themselves miserable.
Love your beginning music
Glad you help people
that's the goal
Learn to want what you have.
Damn. It just clicked. You are right. He married me for the wrong reasons.
🙏🏽
Yep Lee I saw you in an episode of Fatal Affairs.. I'm glad you were the good guy in the role you took lol
😂💪🏽
I have seen that in some people, however I have also seen that some have long term employment. And some, no jobs haha!
You ain’t lyin’!!!
omg my narcissistic ex was 39 and is turning 40 in JULY! lmao he is a CANCER! ARE ALL CANCERS NARCISSISTS!?? MY MOM IS A CANCER AND IS THE BIGGEST COVERT NARCISSIST ON THE PLANET. OMG. this is crazy hahaha. ugh
Cancers are really narcissists
Sunlight coming from distant stars in no way determines human personality. Grow-up and drop the astrology mumbo-jumbo
@@guyincognito7808 lol you sound like an Aquarius hahahhahaha
@@guyincognito7808 stop being a little B**** and mind ya business.
I can surely say they r impossible to pliz and understand bcoz they do not even understand themselves in the first place. They only try hard to b relevant but oh my word all backfires for them and hence no happiness for themselves. 😢
Narcissists cannot feel 'happiness' they only feel the effect of Narcissistic supply, they mistakenly think that is 'happy' but it doesn't last them long.
😫
How does one talk to a narc spouse about therapy being beneficial?
My undiagnosed narc hubby truly trashes therapy as being only for people who are weak, dumb, and want to learn tools to manipulate others 🥴
So does this mean that you are never happy since u are a diagnosed narcissist?
I struggle
The narc i was with was very happy around other men!!! i had to ask him you gay word he goes both ways
That was fire 🔥
appreciate it
Happy internal VALUE🤔
The narcissist I was dealing with searched for women with a specific nationality/roots, I looked like those roots but I don't have those roots so he didn't settle with me. He is now married to someone with someone with that roots but is chasing more women with those roots. Why if narcisssits can use everyone as supply, why are they going for a specific type?
Happy depends on what happens exactly external to u. Joy is what u seek it comes from a higher source. I call the source God 😊
Thanks for sharing!!