Heard a Reddit where a woman was NOT OK with her friend group supporting a cheating member. The group turned on HER for being “ judge mental “- she cut ties with the group and a few years later who comes crying for sympathy because the CHEATER slept with “ my husband- how could she!”. ?? Yep the supporting friends.
I think the part that everybody thinks he's an A is because he demanded that his girlfriend cut contact with her parents because of their friend. I think if he just had lost respect for them and no longer associate as a result, that would be different.
@@Gumbier_Than that’s true. He wasn’t calm when he said look I don’t support this and I don’t want to be around ppl who do. I know they are your parents and I’m not making you choose so I’m going to just go home. NOPE! Instead he had a flashback and a meltdown and threw ultimatums around. It was best they broke up on both sides.
@@Gumbier_Than I agree he could have handled it better. I also think that if his ex-GF had said that she agreed it was disgusting, that might have changed the extremity of his reactions. As it was, she had the same passive enablement as her parents, which warrants a breakup. Maybe just not a breakup in that way.
I don’t think the OP in the first story has “issues”. He has morals. He has decided that cheating participating in cheating condoning cheating is not acceptable to him.
Do you know that in some communities multiple partners is as normal as LGBTQ in western cultures? I am in a culture where LGBTQ is a taboo and one will be autracised but having more than one wife or more than one family is normal and both/all families are recognized equally by the community? Same way western culture views LGBTQ to be normal and accepted it's same way some communities view multiple partners/families
It’s fine to accept friends who cheat-- until it’s your spouse/ partner THEY END UP CHEATING WITH. It’s fine to judge a wife they never met BUT the cheating husband is A GREAT GUY!? The same husband who’s not faithful to wife or mistress. Op your response was triggered by the pain of your past so it was strong and your ex hasn’t experienced that kind of TRAMA. Her family wasn’t destroyed from 1 parents lying and cheating. She can’t leave parents she loves. Your relationship hit a moral difference and breakup was best but yes you did it in anger.
Male Babysitter Story: I feel like Mike would be at risk if he took a job with someone who says a male babysitter is sus. Anything that that woman misconstrues in her own head could turn into a situation that ruins Mike's life.
Everyone is skipping over the fact that it would be on OP's days, and she already felt off about a male sitter until she wanted to go out. OP's son would also be involved. Nah, don't bring crazy to your house.
These threads bring out the worst immoral people. Wife DOESNT KNOW. IF SHE DID, CHEATERS FRIENDS WOULD KNOW BECAUSE THEY WOULD ALL LAUGH ABOUT since they know everything else. Breaking up was good for both of them.
Maybe wife does know, doesn’t care, because she has her own BF of 20 yrs. The fact parents’ friends have no problems with being out as a couple says a lot more is happening than your tiny, judgmental mind can comprehend. It’s no one’s business but the couple’s. And many people just post stories on Reddit in the hopes some sanctimonious AH pops a blood vessel. Most are completely untrue and toads post because they enjoy reading the rants from commenters.
Story 1: If someone is will ing to defend cheating, then they are more than willing to cheat, themselves. OP dodged a bullet by breaking up with the ex
Love is complicated- while a person cheats is like saying “ BUT FAMILY!” When you have toxic abusive relatives. It really does take guts to stand strong and say “ I am not ok with your bad behavior and I will not support it”
Bf literally tried to get his gf of 6months to curt off her own parents who raised her & love her bc _checks notes_ he doesn't like her parents friends ?? Bs. The dude is unhinged. He's literally trying to control whom ppl associate with to the 3rd degree removed. Whats next ? The postman has an affair so he will get him fired bc ain't no he's touching his mail ?? He can choose his so & his friends & choose some distance with other ppl. But go nuclear with anyone he barely has a relationship with is crazy. He doesn't know this couple & he just met her parents who paid thousands for him to come but they have to audacity to not abide by his moral code so everyone can go frick themselves & get ready the riot act ? Op needs therapy. Massive overreaction & controlling behaviour.
Bf literally tried to get his gf of 6months to curt off her own parents who raised her & love her bc _checks notes_ he doesn't like her parents friends ?? Bs. The dude is unhinged. He's literally trying to control whom ppl associate with to the 3rd degree removed. Whats next ? The postman has an affair so he will get him fired bc ain't no he's touching his mail ?? He can choose his so & his friends & choose some distance with other ppl. But go nuclear with anyone he barely has a relationship with is crazy. He doesn't know this couple & he just met her parents who paid thousands for him to come but they have to audacity to not abide by his moral code so everyone can go frick themselves & get ready the riot act ? Op needs therapy. Massive overreaction & controlling behaviour.
@@KadeStringer2.0I’ve got friends whose youngest son is doing life in prison for 1st-degree murder. They no longer have any contact with him. Family, friends, and even complete strangers have every right to judge him. Being “family” doesn’t prohibit someone from judging another family member’s shoddy behavior, nor does it give a free pass for that family member to be a terrible person yet expect that “family” will either support or turn a blind eye to it.
I'm so confused by the responses in story 1. I didn't know being morally decrepit was okay if you are rich. OP is right to break up with his ex. Who knows what else she thinks is okay because it doesn't directly impact her
Obviously OK has all right to break it off with his then gf. But does he have the moral right to scream at people who have been nothing but kind and generous to him, in their own home? Does he he have the moral right to tell his gf to go no contact with her parents because he doesn't like how her patents friends live their life? Decides, OP told his gf it is easy to cut off family. That alone gives me tbe red flag ick.
@kylaluv8453 yes he is morally right for telling his girlfriend to cut off parents that condone cheating he didn't lock his girlfriend in a room and refuse to let her see her parents he said he wasn't comfortable being around and tied to people that condone cheating she said no so he dumped her. The only people that condone cheating are people that are willing to partake in it themselves
Oh come on, if a guy had $200 to his name babysat occasionally and still lives with his parents but was a "nice person". Everyone in the comments would say he brings nothing to the table and dont go near him. Not look to his inner person for his "real value"
She didn't ask him for crap though. She clearly said she thought he wanted a booth call. So where does he get off to evaluate her & then explain to her he didn't see her as relationship material as if she threw herself at him ? Like assuming much ?
@@greyscalesx I'm not saying the OP is a gem or anything But they're both not relationship material until they both get their stuff together, and if that booty call resulted in a pregnancy, that would suck for everyone involved
Story 2: NTA OP is looking out for Mike. Who the heck wants a client who says crap about you behind your back implying you have some ulterior motive being a male babysitter? op did the right thing but maybe tell Mike so he knows.
And also she wanted Mike during the time that OP hires him to look after Caleb. That wouldn’t be fair to Caleb and OP is looking out for his son’s best interests as well as Mikes.
@ can you imagine if something happened like the kid got a scrape or something? & the new client is one little paranoia thought away from accusing Mike of being a pedo. I WOULD NOT feel safe babysitting for a client who already has it in their head that I’m babysitting for nefarious reasons
@@Taecoconut it could be flat out dangerous for Mike yeah, she might use him when it’s convenient, but if she honestly thinks he’s morally, suspect she could make a wild accusations at any time and she would feel morally right about it. I just cannot stand this crazy gender hypocrisy that goes both ways. Men are perfectly capable of being caregivers to children. Women are completely capable of being abusive horrible caregiver to children.
I don’t know what it is about the commenters today, but I have been disagreeing with them pretty much throughout. Is the OP with the ex-girlfriend being a little shallow? Maybe. But if I was interested in someone and found out that they had zero life ambition other than to be a mom, I would not be interested in them anymore either. If he was so shallow, he still would’ve hooked up with her and then ghosted her after. He was honest that he didn’t think there was going to be anything sustainable.
I agree but thats not even shallow, it's just pointless to examine further. They somehow completely ignore the point which is that she is completely financially irresponsible. Thats a deal breaker for most people. Even though she sounds attractive, she's not attractive enough to be an irresponsible gold digger.
I mean, most couples break up because of financial issues. It's not that she is currently broke, it's that she doesn't have a plan. Beauty fades! I wouldn't want to date seriously some handsome broke guy without a plan either.
She's not partner material, and he was clearly looking for a partner, not hop-ons. If she's "overwhelmed" by anything except nannying, she won't be a good SAHM either, because that involves childcare, cleaning, doing bills, driving to shopping, appointments, school, etc. OP would be having to do everything else which would not be OK.
Story 1, NTA, and "Assuming" the wife knows it not the same as "Knowing" the wife knows. Disgusting people, parents, and ex. Op, you did the right thing breaking it off, because ex was raised to be an "Adulterer" with 0 morals. NTA
He needs to grow up and understand that everyone does not have the same values. I understand his feeling but he overreacted. He needs process his hurt and no I am not justifying cheating just it is really none of his business.
@@heidithaw1072 He's welcome to choose not to be around those kind of people. It would be his problem to deal with if he continued to be with a person who thought that kind of behavior was ok.
Like it was the parents themselves that said he had a mistress, so they're assuming he's a cheater too. Going off what the parents said, anyone would think that dude is a cheater, and you shouldn't associate with people with bad morals.
Op does have TRAMA and he does sound like he could use counseling BUT that doesn’t mean he’s wrong for not supporting cheating or friendships with cheaters. I bet he doesn’t support abusers, thieves or drug addicts in his life! He’s so judgmental.
See the problem is if his ex-girlfriend's parents are that flippant about cheating. What stops them from being flippant about their daughters cheating on him if it happens? Not to mention if he doesn't respect her parents due to their moral belief there is no point in continuing the relationship. All is going to do is call a friction at every event that he has to show up to. Sure he can be civil but he's not going to respect them and they're going to notice. What's the point in prolonging the inevitable @@heidithaw1072
She doesn't deserve an apology. Her parents raised her to think this is fine. But she's also an adult and can make her own decisions. I hope everyone who calls op an AH has "friends" like the parents and OP's ex gf and gets cheated on for 20+ years.
Lol, what does she bring to the table. It's amazing that people have an issue with men asking this question and find it completely ok for women to do it. Good on OP for not wanting to be with someone who hasn't started to be independent and straight up tells you they want to be a sahm when clearly that's not the type of woman you want.
@@miss_mish I agree people would be super pissed if he was only interested in her because she has a pretty face but instead he’s saying I don’t want just a pretty face to have something more with and suddenly he’s an asshole? Also, she ghosted him because she felt called out people need to stop being such assholes to guys just becausethey either stand up for themselves or they have standards. There’s a difference between holding people to standards and feeling entitled to someone to bring everything to the table when you bring nothing, which is kind of what she’s doing.
@LoveK1 the same as women. Some care, and some don't. I figured that it would be obvious that what someone brings to the table is subjective to the person asking.
There's nothing wrong in what OP's ex is doing or wants for her future. Some women just want to be married and a mom. OP wants more from a partner/wife than what she has to offer and there's nothing wrong with that either. They are just incompatible.
Where does he get off evaluating her & listing why he thinks she isn't suited to him to her face as if she was throwing herself on him ? Like B who said she wanted you ? Who does he think he is thinking she wanted him back just bc they caught up ? Bruh it is wrong bc they were catching up & she even told him she thought he just was looking for a booty call. No wonder she was petty & made him text only to ghost this dimwit.
S1: I rather agree with OP. Adultery is the most destructive behavior and has far reaching consequences. B/c this douchey behavior has become such a common occurrence there are now couples out there who've discovered they are dating/married to their own half-sibling.
Story 1: no, but what is that comment section? Like for real. I agree with op. It's not okay. It only shows that if hus girlfriend cheated on him, her family wouldn't tell him because "it isn't their business". Why would he put himself through that. Yet thebcomment section is treating him like he's insane for having moral standards. Insane.
They're not treating him as "insane for having moral standards", they're telling him it's an AH move to try and tell a partner of 6 months to cut off her parents because of their possibly cheating friends. Its totally fine that he thinks they're incompatible now, but blowing up at her like this and trying to pull an ultimatum on a trip the parents are paying for? Not the right, or even productive, way to handle it at all.
Lemme pull back the curtain for you: These channels run on engagement. That's why they read the wildest, soap opera stories, and pick the three or four most out there comment to read in order to get viewers on TH-cam to post ABOUT those comments.
@@kayladunaway7101 expecting your partner of six months to have mortal standards because they willfully bearing their head in the sand so they don’t have to answer the question of is this an affair or is this an open marriage didn’t make you an AH Especially considering that they’ve never actually hung out with the real wife or bothered to figure out if she actually knows. Which says a lot about them as people. This may be an unpopular opinion, but if you bury your head in the sand, so you don’t have to figure out if your friends a piece of cheating scum then that makes you just as bad.
Ex Navy Story: Wow, all the ridiculous and misandrist comments from the man haters. He wants to be with a woman who has more going on than a one dimensional stay at home mom, he is getting hate from that. How ridiculous all of those comments.
He can be with one, but why the f did he had to so a rant about her not being enough for him and that she doesn't bring anything to the table when she was there just for the sex. Holy hell some men are just full of themselves. WAS NOT a good person to her previously and he still is an asshole. Good that she ghosted him. He did only cared about her looks, that's all he was saying about her. He wasn't a real friend.
Imagine being emotionally mature and honest and some folks just can't seem to handle it. Now if it was a guy that baby sat once in a while and lived off of his parents I wonder what they would say?
Story 1: Sorry, not sorry, I can feel OP on this one. Yeah, it's not really their business who her parents are friends with, but he has every right to be upset that the parents are just fine with a man having a 2 DECADE LONG AFFAIR. Unfortunately, you are the company you keep so, yeah.
These people are her parents age OPs girlfriend was what, two when she met these people ? They are not in her social circle and what makes you think they reflect her values. She grew up knowing them as her parent’s friends and I’m certain didn’t delve Into a relationship with folks their age because it’s not her business.
Not the entirety of readit going out of their way to simp for cheaters and cheater enablers again. GF deserves to be alone if she wants to support those freaks.
Story 2: NTA. Lady is pretty rude and her opinion towards male babysitters is...not great. Besides, there is such a thing as a "Mrs. Bad Touch" even if she's never seen it. There's being cautious and there's being paranoid She can't say that she distrusts Mike and then ask for his help the next day. Can't have your cake and eat it too
I can't believe the number of people calling OP an idiot in story one! Bro has way more standards than everyone else. I hope he finds a better partner and better friends! And everyone calling OP an idiot, i hope you feel the pain of getting cheated on and then called an idiot for being upset others knew and didn't say anything and told you to get over it.
Wait did I hear right with the third story? “He needs to think what he brings to the table”? OP wants a spouse not a dependent, she is stagnant and yall trying to throw shade on him. The woman of reddit never fails to amaze me.
Right there with you Dan! This guy was right about her! I’d guess he brings a lot to the table! I rarely hear a man say “thinks of others on their birthday” seems he likely is someone who does kind things for those close to him on their birthdays! This new age modern girl irritates me greatly! Her saying all she wants in her life is to be a mom screams she expects a man to do everything for her, do all the work, be the only earner.i was a stay at home mom most of my 30 year marriage but I worked when we needed it. He didn’t want my gone all day. I volunteered in school, church and Navy Wives clubs. So not all women are idiots! Promise!! OP deserves better! Looks fade!
@ we were Navy for 27 yrs of the 30 yrs we were together. He warned his men constantly about women who got knocked up on purpose to get that paycheck & benefits! It’s disgusting how girls hung out at the E-Club to get a sailor or marine! Then most cheated the minute the boys deployed!
Story 4: Navy. Did I miss something? The comments are really misandrist. It’s like if a man wants a SAHW(M) he is a monster. He wants a woman with goals and ambitions, he is a monster. Reddit really just hates men and it shows every single time it is a man telling the story. He could have written all the amazing things about her but didn’t want a partner only concerned about homemaking and they would have found a way to drag him for filth. SMH 🤦🏽♀️
Mike babysitter story: NTA. OP isn't saying no because he dislikes the woman, he's saying no because they called Mike sus. He's literally protecting Mike.
Yeah, and people need to have standards for who they date, and not just continue dating them because they "love" them. The mistress should have broken up with him as soon as she found out he was married, largely because it's a massive red flag. The fact that she didn't shows she's just as scummy. And yeah, OP shouldn't have freaked out on his GF's family about it and given his GF an ultimatum, but I can't entirely blame him. It's shocking that someone would condone cheating.
Story 1: NTA I am so confused about everybody. Did we miss the whole part where the parents literally confirmed it was an affair and that the other woman was the mistress and that John wanted to leave his wife? LP was an idiot for demanding his girlfriend got no contact with her parents because who the fuck are you? But come on y’all cannot beat this ignorant. It’s literally spelled out for U.
The commenters on story 1 are why enablers feel safe is having affairs, so many people would rather bury their heads in the sand and say “not my business” that never standing for their morals.
Reddit when a girl doesn't want to be with someone who enables cheating: "If he thinks it's okay then he'll do it to you" Reddit when a guy doesn't want to be with someone who enables cheating: "You're a psycho, you're controlling and abusive, it's none of your business, maybe they have an open relationship, you need to get help for your issues, you need to apologize, your douchey behavior, you're taking it too personally" Not surprising considering this is the same place that accused a man who was secretly planning his wife's birthday vacation of cheating, meanwhile saying a woman who was caught on camera hanging out with and getting gifts from a man her husband never met before then refused to provide evidence it wasn't an affair was just hanging out with a friend. So dude goes to the military, comes back with a check (the military pays big) and a career, his ex has no career prospects and just wants to stay at home, and Reddit says "what does HE bring to the table?". Lmao, making any excuse to make women into the victims. If it were a man who was in her same situation, Reddit would be telling her to run and find a better man.
Last Story: NTA, it is totally inappropriate to name a child after an Ex. And with the way his mom talks about Annie, she had to have been an Ex, or his mother is crazy. Naming a child is a two yeses situation, your said no, so that can not be her name.
Story 1: I am absolutely astonished, that everyone is calling OP the idiot. The ex-girlfriend and her parents are complicit to hiding an affair. They don't see anything wrong with John having an affair, and from how they described it, it does sound like an affair instead of an open marriage. They were talking about adultery like it is completely normal. I think it might have been to much of OP to expect his girlfriend of just six months to cut contact with her parents, but his reaction to their behaviour was understandable. If your partner is willing to hide an affair and actively associate with the affair partner like a friend, then they are likely to become cheaters themselves.
I honestly sincerely disagree with all of the people saying that the guy breaking up his girlfriend because her parents are friends with cheaters is an idiot because all he did was assert his boundary. he told her what he was not OK with he didn’t try to force her. He just said if you don’t do this, I’m gone that’s what a boundary is. He asserted his boundaries. He wasn’t crazy. He wasn’t controlling. He says I’m not comfortable with this so I’m removing myself from the situation. I’m not mad at him for how he yelled at them because he felt blindsided. Yeah, the man has trauma if he went there knowing it and yelled at them anyways yeah that would be understandable but what they’re doing is really actually morally kind of horrible. He is not an idiot for asserting his own boundaries and holding himself to them.
1: NTA...she's not the one, if her parents are like that about cheating, then she will be too. Money doesn't mean they have morals. Probably swings with them too.
It is a 2-decade affair. Op is right, it is their place to get involved. Imagine being the wife and finding out that everyone knew about this affair like it is normal. Spending 2 decades, having children with a man who shared their life with someone else. Tbh I would take it one step further and find the wife and tell her, finding all the pictures that they have. Cheating is wrong there are no exceptions. And the fact they don't know if the wife knows means it is not open. Op did the right thing by removing such immoral people from his life. And he shouldn't want to date someone who lacks such morals. Reddit is so concerned about making men always wrong, being men haters, that they are willing to give wrong advice.
Navy story OP is looking to settle down and someone with no career prospects and still lives with mommy is not a catch, the comments would be a complete 180 if the poster was a girl 😂
Exactly. There is nothing wrong with a woman wanting to “be a mom,” but that’s not really what the ex-gf wants. She’s in her mid-20s and has never even made an attempt to be independent. Instead, she has a little part-time job, lives in mommy’s house where she doesn’t have to pay rent or any other bills, drives mommy’s car so she doesn’t have to do anything but pay for gas, and has zero ambitions in life - other than finding some guy dumb enough to let her leech off him so she never has to grow up and actually be an adult.
Nta. Never compromise your own morals. She’ll cheat on you. Anyone that accepts and supports infidelity the way this family does and sees betrayal as something that can be excused because of “love” isn’t someone you can trust. You can’t ask her to cut contact with people that crazy but when you are confronted with something that goes against your own personal morals then you need to go your own way and leave.
Story 1: Reverse the genders and the commenters would be telling OP they were right to get out of there considering their partner was fine with the cheating.
This isn't about a name or honoring the dead. It'd likely be a life of favoritism against the first child, the continuing endless comparisons to the dead, who the heck would want that. Why can't OPs husband tell his mom to cut the sh!t?
Last Story: OP, if you read this, please pay attention. You say “We’ve been o contact with her since our son’s first birthday.” But that’s simply not true. *You’ve* been no contact with her since your son’s first birthday. Your husband has been very much in contact with her or she wouldn’t have known you rejected the name Annie. Hell, she may even been the one that suggested that name in the first place. But whether or not she did suggest it, you have a husband problem. He obviously does have lingering feelings for Annie in some form or another. And while I normally believe that one should never try to replace a deceased loved one in someone else’s life, I also believe it isn’t right to throw a deceased loved on into your spouses face with this much veracity. His mother keeps throwing Annie in your face and claiming he would be with her if she was alive, yet he never stopped her? He only agreed to what was supposed to be no contact when she refused to be a grandmother to his and your son. And now he wants to name your and his daughter after Annie. He isn’t on your side and most likely never will be. OP, he has chosen his mother and Annie’s memories over you. Your marriage is already over. Do yourself a favor and start making steps to get divorced and do not let him anywhere near you or your child’s birth certificate when she’s born. Or he will name her Annie while you’re not looking. Normally a name is a two yes, one no issue. But under these circumstances, it’s clear he’s going to try to force his choice despite your not going along with it. So be prepared. NTA.
The parents have been friends with dude & his sidepiece for 20 years, but they’ve never met his actual wife. The parents & their cheating homies have no morals. Nothing wrong with OP finding that disgusting. It’s fckng gross.
And they ask what he brings to the table when she has nothing. Sounds like a bunch of modern social media "queens" who think existing is enough and the man needs to provide everything else.
@@TheQuantumWaveare you kidding?😂 Men have been going on every podcast known to man talking about how they don’t care about women’s educations or accomplishments. Y’all have been whinging for years about you want traditional women but the first thing you throw in women’s faces is, “what do you bring to the table?” It’s so it’s funny at this point. In traditional relationships the women don’t bring anything physical. The man provides all of that and the woman keeps house. But when men get that they complain about gold diggers. You men are funny. Acting like you’re being taken for a ride when most women are doing better than men. 😂
@@LoveK1 I was careful to point out that it's a subset of women that are bad. You just said that all men are bad and I'm one of them. Generalizing like that shows you are a misandrist. You are one of the bad women.
@@LoveK1 Podcasts haven't been around long, so I'm quite sure there are Many podcasts that men don't know about. The fact that your only gripe is 1 question (a woman's worth) that woman's worth you get offended? Are you who they speak of when they call a Broke Bum? Women are bringing kids on 1st date, women are ordering multiple to-go plates to bring to their kids on 1st dates, and want a man to pay for it to "Prove" their worth, but you think a man asking a woman her worth is out of line? A Real woman with her head on straight can communicate her worth, because Real woman know their value so it not hard to speak about or answer, if anyone man or woman asks. Immature little girls and grown immature woman hates that question and get offended by it, because they have nothing, haven't achieved nothing, and plan on nothing for their future. Questions like that angers the Plastics.🤣🤣🤣
Cheaters are morally bankrupt and people who are fine with cheaters are morally deficient. Morally deficient people are only a short step away from becoming morally bankrupt. OP1 is wise for running away from people who are just a short step away from cheating themselves.
Story #1: OP was the idiot for giving his GF ultimatums. That's as far as that goes. He is quite correct in severing HIS OWN relationships with people who accept or condone cheating as "Normal". If she accepts it in the other couple's relationship, she will have no problem cheating in her own. OP wants NO part of that and i don't blame him.
s1: Was OP wrong? No. Did he go nuclear - Absolutely! Nevertheless, it's never right to have others tell you how to react and what your boundaries are. OP only messed up by telling ex GF how to react - that was a big overstep. He is - however - very much entitled to to his morals and for drawing a line regarding who he will and will not associate with. NTA
I agree with this. He is ok to break up with her but to try to blow up her life and to disrespect her entire family is way too much. By some miracle he will find a family with no skeletons in the closet
S2 HUGE NTA!!! If that mom doesn’t trust male nannies, anything that happens to that kid under his care will be blown out of proportion. God forbid the kid gets a rash or mark in any private areas. That’s how the McMartin preschool trial got started.
S1 NTA. So what happens if the ex GF starts cheating and the parents find out? Oh I know, they’d never tell OP cuz “it’s not our business”. I know Reddit is anti-young man, but this takes the cake
I remember a bit ago a story about a girl who refused to refer a friend to a salon because last time her fri end was a total pill and left a false scathing review. She didn’t want to be associated with that person in a salon setting. This story about a guy not referring a babysitter to a total pill reads the same, but with different reactions.
First story. That last commenter is just amusing. Had to fabricate a reason to twist it into a gendered thing just to dredge up complaints about someone being an ADVOCATE for a woman who is potentially being manipulated and lied to. Sure, that OP could use therapy, but for the same reason everyone could use it. Having a hard stance on outing cheaters for who they are and not associating with people who directly or indirectly aid cheaters in covering up their affair is not a flaw. "She must know because it's been going on so long" my hindquarters. That's just a convenient lie they tell people to feel better about associating with deviants who do things they know nobody would publicly support for fear of being judged and labeled with the same social faux pas themselves.
Cool. OP has an issue with his dad. Trying to give an ultimatum or force his girlfriend to drop her parents because he's uncomfortable with the parents friends? Nah, you beyond controlling.
@@philwill0123 I don't know about you, but I would not trust someone whose parents blatantly enable adultery. Especially if they themselves echo that same sentiment instead of, y'know, calling it out for being gross and awful? Not being comfortable with it in any way? You know, a normal person's responses. I'd worry the rest of my life whether they'd do the same thing to me, since they've been raised to think it isn't a big deal, something they can hide and get away with.
@@philwill0123 it’s not an ultimatum it’s called a boundary. That’s what boundaries are. I am not comfortable associating with this or someone who does associate with it. You can’t hold that I’m removing myself from the situation and the relationship that is a boundary that is healthy.
Story 2: NTA. The woman is a rude POS and has epic levels of nerve asking this. And we have no clue what Mike's view of things are, he might very well have told OP preciously he wouldn't work elsewhere without them being cool with it.
NTA for parents cheating friend. Op gave her multiple options. Not demend ONLY 1 option. And reddit gaslit op yet again. Cheating hurts more than the directly involved. It literally splits friends groups. Then theres the whole how'd parents feel if op did this or did the xgf.
Pretty Ex: I feel like if she had any other prospects, that was the time to mention them. She didn’t. So either OP dodged a bullet or they both did, but I fail to see how only wanting to be a mom with 200 bucks is a game plan unless you also plan to be a gold digger. Which, I’m sure, isn’t hurt by being pretty.
14:41 "He think he's the best catch out there because he has a house. She should ask him what does HE bring to the table?" A house, for starters. Probably more than $200 in his bank account. Since he's military, not a personality that gets overwhelmed easily with being an adult. If the sexes were reversed, the commentators would tell OP to run away from a guy who claims to be too overwhelmed having a job, wants to be a parent and nothing more, and has no money. But sure, maybe she's a runner who plays guitar. Good grief...
It's all the Reddit women who resent the fact that men want relationships with women who reciprocate, treat them with respect, loyalty, love, and affection, and require more than just a pretty face (and since they all think they're 10s now, somehow...) They also seem to think that it's possible to shame men out of having standards. I've never understood that.
Story 1: Look - i hooked up twice, in uni, with girls I knew had boyfriends. I didn't know them, we only made out and they were living in a different country, But I absolutely abhore such a behaviour and told off friends who either were considering or had started cheating and got them to break up - it was clear that the relationship was not working any more. But to be so nonchalant about it, even if you don't know the person being cheated on, is definitely a huge red flag. And I guarantee she wouldn't hesitate much to cheat and her parents would support her and hide it without breaking a sweat.
Story 1 nta and for everyone mad at him saying cut off the parents cuz its only been 6 month when would be an appropriate time? After a year, 2 years, marriage? This was absolutely an appropriate time and it didnt sound like he expected anything. He was asking her to show him who she was if being complicit with cheating is a deal breaker for him its absolutely appropriate to say "due to this new information if we are to continue this relationship this needs to happen if not we need to break up" would you prefer he strings her along until an appropriate amount of time has passed, break up with her without giving her choice, deciding without asking that she automatically condones cheating? He said this is a deal breaker for here are the options of how we're gonna move forward. Id much rather that than someone makes the decision for me.
Last story: I agree with the last comment. OP's MIL is a 'wack-job' who needs intensive therapy. Hubby probably needs therapy to sort out his hidden obsession. I feel so sorry for OP who will probably end up as a single mother. She needs to come up with another name for her daughter and tell hubby take it or leave us.
2nd story: I would pass the woman’s info along to Mike…along with a warning about what she had previously said about male caregivers. He can decide then if he wants to take that chance.
Navy story) Was op being judgmental?.. yes.. was he wrong?.. I don't think so ...chick is 27 with no real job specs lives at home with her mom (which is cool if I could I would as well) doesn't have a savings which makes her financially irresponsible at best ...if this was a man everyone would be calling him a bum and a red flag just saying.
Not judgmental. He's being appropriate discerning about a relationship that could destroy his financial future and turn his future children into strangers that hate him.
Story 1: I don’t think that, after 6 months, OP has the standing to ask his gf to go no contact with her parents. He’s perfectly within his rights to break up with her because they’re incompatible, but asking that of her was way overstepping.
OP NTA. I can't believe Op's Gf's parents act like cheating on your spouse is something normal. I wouldn't be able to see them in the same light in would go home. Think relationship would be over.
Ex gf ghosting story: oh boy some of you women read into what you want to. Unpopular opinion here, Op is NTA. He said he caught up with her because they were still friends and not because he wanted to bang her. If she's still cute what's wrong with saying so. She ghosted him because, Op peeped her game. She wanted nothing out of life other than being a mom, her words. Ok, SAHMs are great if you can afford it and you both agree to it so, no Op has a right to keep his ghostly options open. Let her do her and Op keep it moving by deleting her on everything.
First story everyone sucks. Op needs therapy and shouldn’t have gone that far, but he is the product of what cheating can do to children. The ex gfs parents are people who don’t care about infidelity or the children of the friend who could have an entire family out of his marriage. If they do not care about the family they wouldn’t care if their daughter cheated on op.
Ex navy story. To the commenter that asked what op brings to the table, he has his own house and a good job, remind me what she is bringing to the table.
I know a few happily married women with husbands who provide and gave someone else. Now uts probably not what they dreamed of but they have a high lifestyle and do stuff as a family. In most cases they do break up once the kuds are grown, its from a place where they both feel like room mates post kids. Would i want that? No. But its not my life or my decisions to make 🤷
You can tell the poor people in this comments section from the wealthy 😂. His wife has likely got her own side piece. It is in fact kind of common. martyr to "protect" the community…
Why is anyone cslling a male nanny something wrong? That's messed up . I've worked with a lot of men,in healthcare,and a lot of them are better then women..
"Only the dusties ask..." The guy with a military pension and a house is a dusty? That's a level of delusion you don't usually find outside of a tiktok girl.
OP is just a traumatized immature young man, who thinks he knows a lot more than he does. That was explained, the most telling line in the first story wasn’t about affairs at all, it was “I was their guest because they were simply lucky to have more money than I do.” Yeah pal the vast majority of rich people aren’t lucky to be Rich. Your ex gf is lucky her parents likely are not lucky, they earned that money in some way. The free assumption he makes that they’re just lucky, that they have bad morals in his view so obviously they’re just lucky and don’t deserve what they have is a child’s view of morality.
The comments in the first story are spoken like a true man haters, please tell me that this is becoming man hate without telling me that this is becoming man hate. I always find it amazing where Reddit always claims to be non-biased and yet they have no trouble being biased towards men. And yes I do agree that OP needs therapy but does not make him a bad guy for having these opinions about cheating. And the people who supported are just as bad as the cheaters. And male babysitters are not uncommon in this day and age people need to get off the mindset of male babysitters. I bet people will be singing a different tune if the roles were reversed in the reuniting with an ex story. This whole sub is for nothing more but biased man hate. I’m pretty sure no man once a stay at home wife who does not work or anything like that
@@Symphonia30 it’s funny I have commented the same thing basically on all of these. The gender hypocrisy is absolutely insane and I am a woman and I’m saying that this ridiculous knowing situation for a lot of guys is insane and bordering on criminal at this point. Like honestly, one accusation from that mother to the sitter/nanny could ruin not his career, but he’s entire life and people think it’s just bias that the guy doesn’t wanna share the nanny with someone he doesn’t like. As a woman yes I get the ongoing predatory structure of our society against women. It’s a thing OK. But that does not negate the fact that we live in a society that can ruin a man with one accusation and people throw around those kind of prejudices like it’s nothing. Men get so much shit for being absentee parents but when they do show up, they’re treated like they’re just holding space for the Mom when they show some sort of caring for children they’re considered suspect these. double standards are breaking men in our society.
@@philwill0123 it’s called a personal boundary. He didn’t like it so he broke up with her. You’re entitled to do that. I can break up with someone because they eat peas and I don’t like it. It’s called a boundary. He held her to it.
Story 1: ESH. While OP is free to break things off due to his morals, it was NOT okay for him to give his GF an ultimatum like that. Parents suck for enabling the affair, John and Kate suck for having it, and GF sucks for calling OP's values an "abstract moral high ground" and therefore being complicit.
First, while the op is harsh about the ultimatum, he's not wrong. They're practically helping a man cheat for 20 years and choose not to learn anything about the wife. Even the girlfriend is helping him. If Op was to marry this woman, he doesn't have trust that his in-laws will tell him anything. If he was to pull this while they're married, he would be still considered a controlling man instead of someone who's trying to protect their relationship.
1st story: Lets take a minute for Op to come down off his high horse first. Op want his gf to tell HER parents that what they are doing with THEIR friend not the child's (gf) friend is immoral and if the don't obey the child, the gf, she should cut contact with her parent who has been nothing but loving and supportive to her and look, they even bought HER BF a ticket. Op go kick rocks. Yes cheating is wrong but this is three times removed from you but, yet you got your BVDs all in a twist about people you don't know nor will probably never see again. Some people with these high morals.
i will say that if you’re unhappy in a relationship for any reason, you should break up with them. i do think OP was a bit extreme in his response but if it really was that big of a deal for him then yeah, he should have left. he should get therapy though.
Jfc. This video was shit upon shit. S1's girlfriend knew he hated cheaters and then knowingly brought him to dinner with a loud and proud cheater, but chat dumped on him. S2 OP protected a man from working with a woman who suggested he was a PDFile, but chat dumped on him. S3 OP has valid boundaries and standards for a life partner, but he should toss those aside because a girl has ✨️ DREAMS ✨️ and those dreams matter more than his mental, financial, emotional, and physical health. This whole video was awful.
They've got irreconcilable ideological differences. She thinks cheating in a relationship is okay. He doesn't. With the knowledge that she thinks it's okay, he can't trust that she wouldn't do it to him. So they break up. He's an ass for making so much noise and soapboxing about it, but he's not wrong for ending the relationship.
Last Story... The fact that OP is competing with a dead person with both her MIL and partner is a disaster. Frankly, she should have run away as soon as he understood she would always be second best to Anna, a sanctified memory of perfection, who is now a corpse. Unless OP's partner can suddenly come to his senses, utterly disavow his mothers lunacy, and commit himself fully to OP and their children this relationship needs to end.
While I do think OP did go a little far with demanding his gf of less than a year go no contact with her parents I still think he’s NTA. His gf & her family obviously don’t have the same morals as him. It’s not something he can force either. I hope he finds someone with the same values & standards as him. Who cares if “the wife knows!” It’s still disrespectful asf!
No way I would have married someone who was chill with 20 year affairs. No way you could trust someone like that.
Heard a Reddit where a woman was NOT OK with her friend group supporting a cheating member. The group turned on HER for being “ judge mental “- she cut ties with the group and a few years later who comes crying for sympathy because the CHEATER slept with “ my husband- how could she!”. ?? Yep the supporting friends.
@@mellttabor2134I remember that story and I had a mile wide smile. 😊
I think the part that everybody thinks he's an A is because he demanded that his girlfriend cut contact with her parents because of their friend.
I think if he just had lost respect for them and no longer associate as a result, that would be different.
@@Gumbier_Than that’s true. He wasn’t calm when he said look I don’t support this and I don’t want to be around ppl who do. I know they are your parents and I’m not making you choose so I’m going to just go home. NOPE! Instead he had a flashback and a meltdown and threw ultimatums around. It was best they broke up on both sides.
@@Gumbier_Than I agree he could have handled it better. I also think that if his ex-GF had said that she agreed it was disgusting, that might have changed the extremity of his reactions. As it was, she had the same passive enablement as her parents, which warrants a breakup. Maybe just not a breakup in that way.
I don’t think the OP in the first story has “issues”. He has morals.
He has decided that cheating participating in cheating condoning cheating is not acceptable to him.
Exactly, everyone is entitled to have their own morals and boundaries.
Do you know that in some communities multiple partners is as normal as LGBTQ in western cultures? I am in a culture where LGBTQ is a taboo and one will be autracised but having more than one wife or more than one family is normal and both/all families are recognized equally by the community? Same way western culture views LGBTQ to be normal and accepted it's same way some communities view multiple partners/families
The gf can only control herself.
So the Op wants her to cut off her parents because their friend has a mistress?
He is the unhinged one
@@juliearmfield2634but they aren’t entitled to try and force them onto others.
@@Drezha3 no not at all. Op isn't entitled to force anyone to live by his values.
It’s fine to accept friends who cheat-- until it’s your spouse/ partner THEY END UP CHEATING WITH. It’s fine to judge a wife they never met BUT the cheating husband is A GREAT GUY!? The same husband who’s not faithful to wife or mistress.
Op your response was triggered by the pain of your past so it was strong and your ex hasn’t experienced that kind of TRAMA. Her family wasn’t destroyed from 1 parents lying and cheating. She can’t leave parents she loves. Your relationship hit a moral difference and breakup was best but yes you did it in anger.
Male Babysitter Story: I feel like Mike would be at risk if he took a job with someone who says a male babysitter is sus. Anything that that woman misconstrues in her own head could turn into a situation that ruins Mike's life.
I agree, but the OP should have just given Mike the rundown, maybe said “if it were me, I wouldn’t,” but ultimately leave the decision up to Mike.
@JosieJOK This
Aw thats so unfair. He sounds nice
Everyone is skipping over the fact that it would be on OP's days, and she already felt off about a male sitter until she wanted to go out. OP's son would also be involved. Nah, don't bring crazy to your house.
I feel like Mike should have at least been able to make his own informed choice, but she sounds like a dramamonger.
These threads bring out the worst immoral people. Wife DOESNT KNOW. IF SHE DID, CHEATERS FRIENDS WOULD KNOW BECAUSE THEY WOULD ALL LAUGH ABOUT since they know everything else.
Breaking up was good for both of them.
Maybe wife does know, doesn’t care, because she has her own BF of 20 yrs. The fact parents’ friends have no problems with being out as a couple says a lot more is happening than your tiny, judgmental mind can comprehend. It’s no one’s business but the couple’s. And many people just post stories on Reddit in the hopes some sanctimonious AH pops a blood vessel. Most are completely untrue and toads post because they enjoy reading the rants from commenters.
Story 1: If someone is will ing to defend cheating, then they are more than willing to cheat, themselves.
OP dodged a bullet by breaking up with the ex
Love is complicated- while a person cheats is like saying “ BUT FAMILY!” When you have toxic abusive relatives.
It really does take guts to stand strong and say “ I am not ok with your bad behavior and I will not support it”
No one should judge what a family member does
Bf literally tried to get his gf of 6months to curt off her own parents who raised her & love her bc _checks notes_ he doesn't like her parents friends ?? Bs. The dude is unhinged.
He's literally trying to control whom ppl associate with to the 3rd degree removed.
Whats next ? The postman has an affair so he will get him fired bc ain't no he's touching his mail ??
He can choose his so & his friends & choose some distance with other ppl. But go nuclear with anyone he barely has a relationship with is crazy.
He doesn't know this couple & he just met her parents who paid thousands for him to come but they have to audacity to not abide by his moral code so everyone can go frick themselves & get ready the riot act ?
Op needs therapy. Massive overreaction & controlling behaviour.
Bf literally tried to get his gf of 6months to curt off her own parents who raised her & love her bc _checks notes_ he doesn't like her parents friends ?? Bs. The dude is unhinged.
He's literally trying to control whom ppl associate with to the 3rd degree removed.
Whats next ? The postman has an affair so he will get him fired bc ain't no he's touching his mail ??
He can choose his so & his friends & choose some distance with other ppl. But go nuclear with anyone he barely has a relationship with is crazy.
He doesn't know this couple & he just met her parents who paid thousands for him to come but they have to audacity to not abide by his moral code so everyone can go frick themselves & get ready the riot act ?
Op needs therapy. Massive overreaction & controlling behaviour.
@@KadeStringer2.0I’ve got friends whose youngest son is doing life in prison for 1st-degree murder. They no longer have any contact with him. Family, friends, and even complete strangers have every right to judge him. Being “family” doesn’t prohibit someone from judging another family member’s shoddy behavior, nor does it give a free pass for that family member to be a terrible person yet expect that “family” will either support or turn a blind eye to it.
I'm so confused by the responses in story 1. I didn't know being morally decrepit was okay if you are rich.
OP is right to break up with his ex. Who knows what else she thinks is okay because it doesn't directly impact her
It's Reddit. If you're male then you are the party that's in the wrong. Wine and cats on all of these peeps!
Obviously OK has all right to break it off with his then gf. But does he have the moral right to scream at people who have been nothing but kind and generous to him, in their own home? Does he he have the moral right to tell his gf to go no contact with her parents because he doesn't like how her patents friends live their life?
Decides, OP told his gf it is easy to cut off family. That alone gives me tbe red flag ick.
@kylaluv8453 yes he is morally right for telling his girlfriend to cut off parents that condone cheating he didn't lock his girlfriend in a room and refuse to let her see her parents he said he wasn't comfortable being around and tied to people that condone cheating she said no so he dumped her. The only people that condone cheating are people that are willing to partake in it themselves
Oh come on, if a guy had $200 to his name babysat occasionally and still lives with his parents but was a "nice person". Everyone in the comments would say he brings nothing to the table and dont go near him. Not look to his inner person for his "real value"
Don’t you know men are shallow for having standards.
Reddit
She wants to be a mother. Isn't the trad wife thing you all incel men want a hot thing atm? What else does she need to bring to the table?
She didn't ask him for crap though. She clearly said she thought he wanted a booth call.
So where does he get off to evaluate her & then explain to her he didn't see her as relationship material as if she threw herself at him ? Like assuming much ?
@@greyscalesx I'm not saying the OP is a gem or anything
But they're both not relationship material until they both get their stuff together, and if that booty call resulted in a pregnancy, that would suck for everyone involved
Story 2: NTA OP is looking out for Mike. Who the heck wants a client who says crap about you behind your back implying you have some ulterior motive being a male babysitter? op did the right thing but maybe tell Mike so he knows.
And also she wanted Mike during the time that OP hires him to look after Caleb. That wouldn’t be fair to Caleb and OP is looking out for his son’s best interests as well as Mikes.
@ can you imagine if something happened like the kid got a scrape or something? & the new client is one little paranoia thought away from accusing Mike of being a pedo. I WOULD NOT feel safe babysitting for a client who already has it in their head that I’m babysitting for nefarious reasons
@@Taecoconutoh can you imagine the hell she could put him through.
All it would take is him saying one thing she didn't like
@@Taecoconut it could be flat out dangerous for Mike yeah, she might use him when it’s convenient, but if she honestly thinks he’s morally, suspect she could make a wild accusations at any time and she would feel morally right about it. I just cannot stand this crazy gender hypocrisy that goes both ways. Men are perfectly capable of being caregivers to children. Women are completely capable of being abusive horrible caregiver to children.
@@samfnolmmmgood 100%
I don’t know what it is about the commenters today, but I have been disagreeing with them pretty much throughout. Is the OP with the ex-girlfriend being a little shallow? Maybe. But if I was interested in someone and found out that they had zero life ambition other than to be a mom, I would not be interested in them anymore either.
If he was so shallow, he still would’ve hooked up with her and then ghosted her after. He was honest that he didn’t think there was going to be anything sustainable.
I agree but thats not even shallow, it's just pointless to examine further. They somehow completely ignore the point which is that she is completely financially irresponsible. Thats a deal breaker for most people. Even though she sounds attractive, she's not attractive enough to be an irresponsible gold digger.
I mean, most couples break up because of financial issues. It's not that she is currently broke, it's that she doesn't have a plan. Beauty fades! I wouldn't want to date seriously some handsome broke guy without a plan either.
She's not partner material, and he was clearly looking for a partner, not hop-ons. If she's "overwhelmed" by anything except nannying, she won't be a good SAHM either, because that involves childcare, cleaning, doing bills, driving to shopping, appointments, school, etc. OP would be having to do everything else which would not be OK.
Story 1, NTA, and "Assuming" the wife knows it not the same as "Knowing" the wife knows. Disgusting people, parents, and ex.
Op, you did the right thing breaking it off, because ex was raised to be an "Adulterer" with 0 morals. NTA
He needs to grow up and understand that everyone does not have the same values. I understand his feeling but he overreacted. He needs process his hurt and no I am not justifying cheating just it is really none of his business.
@@heidithaw1072 He's welcome to choose not to be around those kind of people. It would be his problem to deal with if he continued to be with a person who thought that kind of behavior was ok.
Like it was the parents themselves that said he had a mistress, so they're assuming he's a cheater too. Going off what the parents said, anyone would think that dude is a cheater, and you shouldn't associate with people with bad morals.
Op does have TRAMA and he does sound like he could use counseling BUT that doesn’t mean he’s wrong for not supporting cheating or friendships with cheaters.
I bet he doesn’t support abusers, thieves or drug addicts in his life! He’s so judgmental.
See the problem is if his ex-girlfriend's parents are that flippant about cheating. What stops them from being flippant about their daughters cheating on him if it happens? Not to mention if he doesn't respect her parents due to their moral belief there is no point in continuing the relationship. All is going to do is call a friction at every event that he has to show up to. Sure he can be civil but he's not going to respect them and they're going to notice. What's the point in prolonging the inevitable @@heidithaw1072
She doesn't deserve an apology. Her parents raised her to think this is fine. But she's also an adult and can make her own decisions.
I hope everyone who calls op an AH has "friends" like the parents and OP's ex gf and gets cheated on for 20+ years.
Lol, what does she bring to the table. It's amazing that people have an issue with men asking this question and find it completely ok for women to do it.
Good on OP for not wanting to be with someone who hasn't started to be independent and straight up tells you they want to be a sahm when clearly that's not the type of woman you want.
@@miss_mish I agree people would be super pissed if he was only interested in her because she has a pretty face but instead he’s saying I don’t want just a pretty face to have something more with and suddenly he’s an asshole? Also, she ghosted him because she felt called out people need to stop being such assholes to guys just becausethey either stand up for themselves or they have standards. There’s a difference between holding people to standards and feeling entitled to someone to bring everything to the table when you bring nothing, which is kind of what she’s doing.
Men ask that all the time but claim they don’t care about women’s education and accomplishments. Which is it?
@LoveK1 the same as women. Some care, and some don't. I figured that it would be obvious that what someone brings to the table is subjective to the person asking.
There's nothing wrong in what OP's ex is doing or wants for her future. Some women just want to be married and a mom. OP wants more from a partner/wife than what she has to offer and there's nothing wrong with that either. They are just incompatible.
Where does he get off evaluating her & listing why he thinks she isn't suited to him to her face as if she was throwing herself on him ?
Like B who said she wanted you ? Who does he think he is thinking she wanted him back just bc they caught up ?
Bruh it is wrong bc they were catching up & she even told him she thought he just was looking for a booty call.
No wonder she was petty & made him text only to ghost this dimwit.
S1: I rather agree with OP. Adultery is the most destructive behavior and has far reaching consequences. B/c this douchey behavior has become such a common occurrence there are now couples out there who've discovered they are dating/married to their own half-sibling.
Story 1: no, but what is that comment section? Like for real. I agree with op. It's not okay. It only shows that if hus girlfriend cheated on him, her family wouldn't tell him because "it isn't their business". Why would he put himself through that. Yet thebcomment section is treating him like he's insane for having moral standards. Insane.
They're not treating him as "insane for having moral standards", they're telling him it's an AH move to try and tell a partner of 6 months to cut off her parents because of their possibly cheating friends. Its totally fine that he thinks they're incompatible now, but blowing up at her like this and trying to pull an ultimatum on a trip the parents are paying for? Not the right, or even productive, way to handle it at all.
Lemme pull back the curtain for you:
These channels run on engagement. That's why they read the wildest, soap opera stories, and pick the three or four most out there comment to read in order to get viewers on TH-cam to post ABOUT those comments.
@@kayladunaway7101 expecting your partner of six months to have mortal standards because they willfully bearing their head in the sand so they don’t have to answer the question of is this an affair or is this an open marriage didn’t make you an AH Especially considering that they’ve never actually hung out with the real wife or bothered to figure out if she actually knows. Which says a lot about them as people.
This may be an unpopular opinion, but if you bury your head in the sand, so you don’t have to figure out if your friends a piece of cheating scum then that makes you just as bad.
Ex Navy Story: Wow, all the ridiculous and misandrist comments from the man haters. He wants to be with a woman who has more going on than a one dimensional stay at home mom, he is getting hate from that. How ridiculous all of those comments.
Exactly it feels like they're getting mad at this dude for not being a misogynist and actually caring about a woman other than her looks
He can be with one, but why the f did he had to so a rant about her not being enough for him and that she doesn't bring anything to the table when she was there just for the sex. Holy hell some men are just full of themselves. WAS NOT a good person to her previously and he still is an asshole. Good that she ghosted him.
He did only cared about her looks, that's all he was saying about her. He wasn't a real friend.
Imagine being emotionally mature and honest and some folks just can't seem to handle it. Now if it was a guy that baby sat once in a while and lived off of his parents I wonder what they would say?
Story 1: Sorry, not sorry, I can feel OP on this one. Yeah, it's not really their business who her parents are friends with, but he has every right to be upset that the parents are just fine with a man having a 2 DECADE LONG AFFAIR. Unfortunately, you are the company you keep so, yeah.
These people are her parents age OPs girlfriend was what, two when she met these people ? They are not in her social circle and what makes you think they reflect her values. She grew up knowing them as her parent’s friends and I’m certain didn’t delve Into a relationship with folks their age because it’s not her business.
@Francina-g5o I never said that they reflect the girlfriend's values. Only the parents.
Not the entirety of readit going out of their way to simp for cheaters and cheater enablers again. GF deserves to be alone if she wants to support those freaks.
Story 2: NTA. Lady is pretty rude and her opinion towards male babysitters is...not great. Besides, there is such a thing as a "Mrs. Bad Touch" even if she's never seen it. There's being cautious and there's being paranoid
She can't say that she distrusts Mike and then ask for his help the next day. Can't have your cake and eat it too
That lady is sxist. The best caregivers I know are guys. I don't have a clue !
I can't believe the number of people calling OP an idiot in story one! Bro has way more standards than everyone else. I hope he finds a better partner and better friends! And everyone calling OP an idiot, i hope you feel the pain of getting cheated on and then called an idiot for being upset others knew and didn't say anything and told you to get over it.
OP is an idiot. Wanting his gf to go no contact with her parents because the parents friend had an affair is psycho behaviour
OP in story 1 is an idiot. He had NO KNOWLEDGE of the John's relationship. He blew up his relationship over hearsay about strangers.
@drakewoods5335 It's called having morals and standards. Look it up.
break contact with the parents because they're live and let live people?
He then need to pay back every cent they spent on him...he has no clue of what someone else's arrangements are. We still don't know what it is.
Wait did I hear right with the third story? “He needs to think what he brings to the table”? OP wants a spouse not a dependent, she is stagnant and yall trying to throw shade on him. The woman of reddit never fails to amaze me.
Right there with you Dan! This guy was right about her! I’d guess he brings a lot to the table! I rarely hear a man say “thinks of others on their birthday” seems he likely is someone who does kind things for those close to him on their birthdays! This new age modern girl irritates me greatly! Her saying all she wants in her life is to be a mom screams she expects a man to do everything for her, do all the work, be the only earner.i was a stay at home mom most of my 30 year marriage but I worked when we needed it. He didn’t want my gone all day. I volunteered in school, church and Navy Wives clubs.
So not all women are idiots! Promise!! OP deserves better! Looks fade!
The slmps too
I'm sure OP saw plenty of "Dependas" during his time in the Navy and rightly said "no thanks".
@ we were Navy for 27 yrs of the 30 yrs we were together. He warned his men constantly about women who got knocked up on purpose to get that paycheck & benefits! It’s disgusting how girls hung out at the E-Club to get a sailor or marine! Then most cheated the minute the boys deployed!
Story 4: Navy. Did I miss something? The comments are really misandrist. It’s like if a man wants a SAHW(M) he is a monster. He wants a woman with goals and ambitions, he is a monster. Reddit really just hates men and it shows every single time it is a man telling the story. He could have written all the amazing things about her but didn’t want a partner only concerned about homemaking and they would have found a way to drag him for filth. SMH 🤦🏽♀️
Mike babysitter story: NTA. OP isn't saying no because he dislikes the woman, he's saying no because they called Mike sus. He's literally protecting Mike.
Love is complicated. Cheating isnt. Gf will cheat and her family will back her. Time to dump her.
And I’m sure if he cheated on their precious baby girl they would not be sooooo understanding that “love is complicated”
Yeah, and people need to have standards for who they date, and not just continue dating them because they "love" them. The mistress should have broken up with him as soon as she found out he was married, largely because it's a massive red flag. The fact that she didn't shows she's just as scummy. And yeah, OP shouldn't have freaked out on his GF's family about it and given his GF an ultimatum, but I can't entirely blame him. It's shocking that someone would condone cheating.
Story 1: NTA I am so confused about everybody. Did we miss the whole part where the parents literally confirmed it was an affair and that the other woman was the mistress and that John wanted to leave his wife? LP was an idiot for demanding his girlfriend got no contact with her parents because who the fuck are you?
But come on y’all cannot beat this ignorant. It’s literally spelled out for U.
The commenters on story 1 are why enablers feel safe is having affairs, so many people would rather bury their heads in the sand and say “not my business” that never standing for their morals.
Reddit when a girl doesn't want to be with someone who enables cheating: "If he thinks it's okay then he'll do it to you"
Reddit when a guy doesn't want to be with someone who enables cheating: "You're a psycho, you're controlling and abusive, it's none of your business, maybe they have an open relationship, you need to get help for your issues, you need to apologize, your douchey behavior, you're taking it too personally"
Not surprising considering this is the same place that accused a man who was secretly planning his wife's birthday vacation of cheating, meanwhile saying a woman who was caught on camera hanging out with and getting gifts from a man her husband never met before then refused to provide evidence it wasn't an affair was just hanging out with a friend.
So dude goes to the military, comes back with a check (the military pays big) and a career, his ex has no career prospects and just wants to stay at home, and Reddit says "what does HE bring to the table?". Lmao, making any excuse to make women into the victims. If it were a man who was in her same situation, Reddit would be telling her to run and find a better man.
You’re correct. Even though OP’s approach wasn’t the best, he was right to question his relationship.
Last Story: NTA, it is totally inappropriate to name a child after an Ex. And with the way his mom talks about Annie, she had to have been an Ex, or his mother is crazy.
Naming a child is a two yeses situation, your said no, so that can not be her name.
Story 1: I am absolutely astonished, that everyone is calling OP the idiot. The ex-girlfriend and her parents are complicit to hiding an affair. They don't see anything wrong with John having an affair, and from how they described it, it does sound like an affair instead of an open marriage. They were talking about adultery like it is completely normal. I think it might have been to much of OP to expect his girlfriend of just six months to cut contact with her parents, but his reaction to their behaviour was understandable. If your partner is willing to hide an affair and actively associate with the affair partner like a friend, then they are likely to become cheaters themselves.
I honestly sincerely disagree with all of the people saying that the guy breaking up his girlfriend because her parents are friends with cheaters is an idiot because all he did was assert his boundary. he told her what he was not OK with he didn’t try to force her. He just said if you don’t do this, I’m gone that’s what a boundary is. He asserted his boundaries. He wasn’t crazy. He wasn’t controlling. He says I’m not comfortable with this so I’m removing myself from the situation. I’m not mad at him for how he yelled at them because he felt blindsided. Yeah, the man has trauma if he went there knowing it and yelled at them anyways yeah that would be understandable but what they’re doing is really actually morally kind of horrible. He is not an idiot for asserting his own boundaries and holding himself to them.
1: NTA...she's not the one, if her parents are like that about cheating, then she will be too. Money doesn't mean they have morals. Probably swings with them too.
Money usually means 'morals are for others'.
@stephaniewilson3955 there are people who have a ton of money that have morals...some have 'em some don't!!
@@boybawang1981 name a few, and do not start with Bill Gates whose foundation is for show.
It is a 2-decade affair. Op is right, it is their place to get involved. Imagine being the wife and finding out that everyone knew about this affair like it is normal. Spending 2 decades, having children with a man who shared their life with someone else. Tbh I would take it one step further and find the wife and tell her, finding all the pictures that they have. Cheating is wrong there are no exceptions. And the fact they don't know if the wife knows means it is not open.
Op did the right thing by removing such immoral people from his life. And he shouldn't want to date someone who lacks such morals.
Reddit is so concerned about making men always wrong, being men haters, that they are willing to give wrong advice.
Navy story OP is looking to settle down and someone with no career prospects and still lives with mommy is not a catch, the comments would be a complete 180 if the poster was a girl 😂
Exactly. There is nothing wrong with a woman wanting to “be a mom,” but that’s not really what the ex-gf wants. She’s in her mid-20s and has never even made an attempt to be independent. Instead, she has a little part-time job, lives in mommy’s house where she doesn’t have to pay rent or any other bills, drives mommy’s car so she doesn’t have to do anything but pay for gas, and has zero ambitions in life - other than finding some guy dumb enough to let her leech off him so she never has to grow up and actually be an adult.
Nta. Never compromise your own morals.
She’ll cheat on you. Anyone that accepts and supports infidelity the way this family does and sees betrayal as something that can be excused because of “love” isn’t someone you can trust.
You can’t ask her to cut contact with people that crazy but when you are confronted with something that goes against your own personal morals then you need to go your own way and leave.
Story 1: Reverse the genders and the commenters would be telling OP they were right to get out of there considering their partner was fine with the cheating.
It’s true.
Wow, the commentors on story one are really pathetic
Why do you think ? Theyre in on it
Story 4: NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. Husband and his mother are sick in the head.
This isn't about a name or honoring the dead. It'd likely be a life of favoritism against the first child, the continuing endless comparisons to the dead, who the heck would want that. Why can't OPs husband tell his mom to cut the sh!t?
Last Story: OP, if you read this, please pay attention. You say “We’ve been o contact with her since our son’s first birthday.”
But that’s simply not true. *You’ve* been no contact with her since your son’s first birthday. Your husband has been very much in contact with her or she wouldn’t have known you rejected the name Annie. Hell, she may even been the one that suggested that name in the first place.
But whether or not she did suggest it, you have a husband problem. He obviously does have lingering feelings for Annie in some form or another.
And while I normally believe that one should never try to replace a deceased loved one in someone else’s life, I also believe it isn’t right to throw a deceased loved on into your spouses face with this much veracity.
His mother keeps throwing Annie in your face and claiming he would be with her if she was alive, yet he never stopped her? He only agreed to what was supposed to be no contact when she refused to be a grandmother to his and your son. And now he wants to name your and his daughter after Annie.
He isn’t on your side and most likely never will be. OP, he has chosen his mother and Annie’s memories over you. Your marriage is already over. Do yourself a favor and start making steps to get divorced and do not let him anywhere near you or your child’s birth certificate when she’s born. Or he will name her Annie while you’re not looking.
Normally a name is a two yes, one no issue. But under these circumstances, it’s clear he’s going to try to force his choice despite your not going along with it. So be prepared.
NTA.
The parents have been friends with dude & his sidepiece for 20 years, but they’ve never met his actual wife. The parents & their cheating homies have no morals. Nothing wrong with OP finding that disgusting. It’s fckng gross.
Agreed
I LOVE S1 OP!
Cheating is evil! Cheating-enablers are trash!
Yeah i wouldn't have made the ultimatum, but i would definitely bow out of that situation. I wouldn't feel comfortable about any of that.
Lol she’s a bum but Reddit will bend over backwards to make him the idiot. A 27 year old with no accomplishments, money or goals is a BUM
And they ask what he brings to the table when she has nothing. Sounds like a bunch of modern social media "queens" who think existing is enough and the man needs to provide everything else.
@@TheQuantumWaveare you kidding?😂 Men have been going on every podcast known to man talking about how they don’t care about women’s educations or accomplishments. Y’all have been whinging for years about you want traditional women but the first thing you throw in women’s faces is, “what do you bring to the table?” It’s so it’s funny at this point. In traditional relationships the women don’t bring anything physical. The man provides all of that and the woman keeps house. But when men get that they complain about gold diggers. You men are funny. Acting like you’re being taken for a ride when most women are doing better than men. 😂
@@LoveK1 I was careful to point out that it's a subset of women that are bad. You just said that all men are bad and I'm one of them. Generalizing like that shows you are a misandrist. You are one of the bad women.
@@LoveK1the question if she has any life skills and if she's even capable of looking after the house.
@@LoveK1 Podcasts haven't been around long, so I'm quite sure there are Many podcasts that men don't know about.
The fact that your only gripe is 1 question (a woman's worth) that woman's worth you get offended? Are you who they speak of when they call a Broke Bum?
Women are bringing kids on 1st date, women are ordering multiple to-go plates to bring to their kids on 1st dates, and want a man to pay for it to "Prove" their worth, but you think a man asking a woman her worth is out of line?
A Real woman with her head on straight can communicate her worth, because Real woman know their value so it not hard to speak about or answer, if anyone man or woman asks.
Immature little girls and grown immature woman hates that question and get offended by it, because they have nothing, haven't achieved nothing, and plan on nothing for their future.
Questions like that angers the Plastics.🤣🤣🤣
Way too many cheater apologists in the first story. Everyone of those people would let they homie just cheat on they spouse with abandon
Cheaters are morally bankrupt and people who are fine with cheaters are morally deficient. Morally deficient people are only a short step away from becoming morally bankrupt. OP1 is wise for running away from people who are just a short step away from cheating themselves.
Story #1:
OP was the idiot for giving his GF ultimatums.
That's as far as that goes.
He is quite correct in severing HIS OWN relationships with people who accept or condone cheating as "Normal".
If she accepts it in the other couple's relationship, she will have no problem cheating in her own.
OP wants NO part of that and i don't blame him.
s1: Was OP wrong? No. Did he go nuclear - Absolutely!
Nevertheless, it's never right to have others tell you how to react and what your boundaries are. OP only messed up by telling ex GF how to react - that was a big overstep. He is - however - very much entitled to to his morals and for drawing a line regarding who he will and will not associate with. NTA
I agree with this. He is ok to break up with her but to try to blow up her life and to disrespect her entire family is way too much. By some miracle he will find a family with no skeletons in the closet
@@bigbleegi mean her family deserve np respect, so… i see no problem
S2 HUGE NTA!!! If that mom doesn’t trust male nannies, anything that happens to that kid under his care will be blown out of proportion. God forbid the kid gets a rash or mark in any private areas. That’s how the McMartin preschool trial got started.
S1 NTA. So what happens if the ex GF starts cheating and the parents find out? Oh I know, they’d never tell OP cuz “it’s not our business”. I know Reddit is anti-young man, but this takes the cake
I remember a bit ago a story about a girl who refused to refer a friend to a salon because last time her fri end was a total pill and left a false scathing review. She didn’t want to be associated with that person in a salon setting.
This story about a guy not referring a babysitter to a total pill reads the same, but with different reactions.
Change the genders of the story of the ex who just wanted to be a mom and had no ambition or job and they'd be calling her the bum she is.
First story. That last commenter is just amusing. Had to fabricate a reason to twist it into a gendered thing just to dredge up complaints about someone being an ADVOCATE for a woman who is potentially being manipulated and lied to.
Sure, that OP could use therapy, but for the same reason everyone could use it. Having a hard stance on outing cheaters for who they are and not associating with people who directly or indirectly aid cheaters in covering up their affair is not a flaw.
"She must know because it's been going on so long" my hindquarters. That's just a convenient lie they tell people to feel better about associating with deviants who do things they know nobody would publicly support for fear of being judged and labeled with the same social faux pas themselves.
Cool. OP has an issue with his dad. Trying to give an ultimatum or force his girlfriend to drop her parents because he's uncomfortable with the parents friends? Nah, you beyond controlling.
@@philwill0123 I don't know about you, but I would not trust someone whose parents blatantly enable adultery. Especially if they themselves echo that same sentiment instead of, y'know, calling it out for being gross and awful? Not being comfortable with it in any way? You know, a normal person's responses.
I'd worry the rest of my life whether they'd do the same thing to me, since they've been raised to think it isn't a big deal, something they can hide and get away with.
@@philwill0123 it’s not an ultimatum it’s called a boundary. That’s what boundaries are. I am not comfortable associating with this or someone who does associate with it. You can’t hold that I’m removing myself from the situation and the relationship that is a boundary that is healthy.
Story 2: NTA. The woman is a rude POS and has epic levels of nerve asking this. And we have no clue what Mike's view of things are, he might very well have told OP preciously he wouldn't work elsewhere without them being cool with it.
NTA for parents cheating friend. Op gave her multiple options. Not demend ONLY 1 option. And reddit gaslit op yet again. Cheating hurts more than the directly involved. It literally splits friends groups. Then theres the whole how'd parents feel if op did this or did the xgf.
Pretty Ex: I feel like if she had any other prospects, that was the time to mention them. She didn’t. So either OP dodged a bullet or they both did, but I fail to see how only wanting to be a mom with 200 bucks is a game plan unless you also plan to be a gold digger. Which, I’m sure, isn’t hurt by being pretty.
Op has principles and boundaries. Thats not unreasonable.
“It’s hard to hide an affair for that long.” Especially if he’s not hiding it at all!
Story 1: those YTA comments must be cheaters or cheating enablers
Story 3: NTA. You dodged a gold digger. OP doesn't want to get involved with someone with no ambitions. But, hey hey, all aboard the misandry express.
First story: France?
60 years ago when I was a child my parents preferred male babysitters saying they had less issues with boys.
I'm guessing France... very pragmatic they are
14:41 "He think he's the best catch out there because he has a house. She should ask him what does HE bring to the table?" A house, for starters. Probably more than $200 in his bank account. Since he's military, not a personality that gets overwhelmed easily with being an adult.
If the sexes were reversed, the commentators would tell OP to run away from a guy who claims to be too overwhelmed having a job, wants to be a parent and nothing more, and has no money. But sure, maybe she's a runner who plays guitar. Good grief...
It's all the Reddit women who resent the fact that men want relationships with women who reciprocate, treat them with respect, loyalty, love, and affection, and require more than just a pretty face (and since they all think they're 10s now, somehow...)
They also seem to think that it's possible to shame men out of having standards. I've never understood that.
Reddit man saying “The Dusties” is a Christmas present in itself 😂
1st story commenters are horrible people
Story 1: Look - i hooked up twice, in uni, with girls I knew had boyfriends. I didn't know them, we only made out and they were living in a different country, But I absolutely abhore such a behaviour and told off friends who either were considering or had started cheating and got them to break up - it was clear that the relationship was not working any more. But to be so nonchalant about it, even if you don't know the person being cheated on, is definitely a huge red flag. And I guarantee she wouldn't hesitate much to cheat and her parents would support her and hide it without breaking a sweat.
Story 1 nta and for everyone mad at him saying cut off the parents cuz its only been 6 month when would be an appropriate time? After a year, 2 years, marriage? This was absolutely an appropriate time and it didnt sound like he expected anything. He was asking her to show him who she was if being complicit with cheating is a deal breaker for him its absolutely appropriate to say "due to this new information if we are to continue this relationship this needs to happen if not we need to break up" would you prefer he strings her along until an appropriate amount of time has passed, break up with her without giving her choice, deciding without asking that she automatically condones cheating? He said this is a deal breaker for here are the options of how we're gonna move forward. Id much rather that than someone makes the decision for me.
It would be crazy if the mistress was sleeping with the dad. I wounder thrn would morals matter
Last story: I agree with the last comment. OP's MIL is a 'wack-job' who needs intensive therapy. Hubby probably needs therapy to sort out his hidden obsession. I feel so sorry for OP who will probably end up as a single mother. She needs to come up with another name for her daughter and tell hubby take it or leave us.
Happy holidays XO!
2nd story: I would pass the woman’s info along to Mike…along with a warning about what she had previously said about male caregivers. He can decide then if he wants to take that chance.
Navy story)
Was op being judgmental?.. yes.. was he wrong?.. I don't think so ...chick is 27 with no real job specs lives at home with her mom (which is cool if I could I would as well) doesn't have a savings which makes her financially irresponsible at best ...if this was a man everyone would be calling him a bum and a red flag just saying.
Not judgmental. He's being appropriate discerning about a relationship that could destroy his financial future and turn his future children into strangers that hate him.
Story One: The cheaters subreddit must’ve found their way to AITA.
I find cheating unacceptable, but breaking up with your girlfriend, because her parents' friends are cheating is an overreaction.
Story 1: I don’t think that, after 6 months, OP has the standing to ask his gf to go no contact with her parents. He’s perfectly within his rights to break up with her because they’re incompatible, but asking that of her was way overstepping.
Never apologize!
OP NTA. I can't believe Op's Gf's parents act like cheating on your spouse is something normal. I wouldn't be able to see them in the same light in would go home. Think relationship would be over.
Ex gf ghosting story: oh boy some of you women read into what you want to. Unpopular opinion here, Op is NTA. He said he caught up with her because they were still friends and not because he wanted to bang her. If she's still cute what's wrong with saying so. She ghosted him because, Op peeped her game. She wanted nothing out of life other than being a mom, her words. Ok, SAHMs are great if you can afford it and you both agree to it so, no Op has a right to keep his ghostly options open. Let her do her and Op keep it moving by deleting her on everything.
The comments on that first story are wild! I think the smell of the money has gone to some people’s heads!
First story everyone sucks. Op needs therapy and shouldn’t have gone that far, but he is the product of what cheating can do to children. The ex gfs parents are people who don’t care about infidelity or the children of the friend who could have an entire family out of his marriage. If they do not care about the family they wouldn’t care if their daughter cheated on op.
Ex navy story. To the commenter that asked what op brings to the table, he has his own house and a good job, remind me what she is bringing to the table.
I know a few happily married women with husbands who provide and gave someone else. Now uts probably not what they dreamed of but they have a high lifestyle and do stuff as a family. In most cases they do break up once the kuds are grown, its from a place where they both feel like room mates post kids. Would i want that? No. But its not my life or my decisions to make 🤷
You can tell the poor people in this comments section from the wealthy 😂. His wife has likely got her own side piece. It is in fact kind of common. martyr to "protect" the community…
Why is anyone cslling a male nanny something wrong? That's messed up . I've worked with a lot of men,in healthcare,and a lot of them are better then women..
Because of sexism!
First story, OP needs to break up with ole girl. I would've kept quiet about it to the parents though.
"Only the dusties ask..."
The guy with a military pension and a house is a dusty? That's a level of delusion you don't usually find outside of a tiktok girl.
OP is just a traumatized immature young man, who thinks he knows a lot more than he does. That was explained, the most telling line in the first story wasn’t about affairs at all, it was “I was their guest because they were simply lucky to have more money than I do.” Yeah pal the vast majority of rich people aren’t lucky to be Rich. Your ex gf is lucky her parents likely are not lucky, they earned that money in some way. The free assumption he makes that they’re just lucky, that they have bad morals in his view so obviously they’re just lucky and don’t deserve what they have is a child’s view of morality.
You people really don’t listen do you. Op stated that the times in question were times he would already be with op’s child.
The comments in the first story are spoken like a true man haters, please tell me that this is becoming man hate without telling me that this is becoming man hate. I always find it amazing where Reddit always claims to be non-biased and yet they have no trouble being biased towards men. And yes I do agree that OP needs therapy but does not make him a bad guy for having these opinions about cheating. And the people who supported are just as bad as the cheaters.
And male babysitters are not uncommon in this day and age people need to get off the mindset of male babysitters.
I bet people will be singing a different tune if the roles were reversed in the reuniting with an ex story. This whole sub is for nothing more but biased man hate. I’m pretty sure no man once a stay at home wife who does not work or anything like that
Nah, you can not like cheaters, but demanding gf cut contact with her parents because you don't like her parents friends? WTF?
@@Symphonia30 it’s funny I have commented the same thing basically on all of these. The gender hypocrisy is absolutely insane and I am a woman and I’m saying that this ridiculous knowing situation for a lot of guys is insane and bordering on criminal at this point. Like honestly, one accusation from that mother to the sitter/nanny could ruin not his career, but he’s entire life and people think it’s just bias that the guy doesn’t wanna share the nanny with someone he doesn’t like. As a woman yes I get the ongoing predatory structure of our society against women. It’s a thing OK. But that does not negate the fact that we live in a society that can ruin a man with one accusation and people throw around those kind of prejudices like it’s nothing. Men get so much shit for being absentee parents but when they do show up, they’re treated like they’re just holding space for the Mom when they show some sort of caring for children they’re considered suspect these. double standards are breaking men in our society.
@@philwill0123 it’s called a personal boundary. He didn’t like it so he broke up with her. You’re entitled to do that. I can break up with someone because they eat peas and I don’t like it. It’s called a boundary. He held her to it.
@ Yeah I am perfectly aware of that
ok misogynist
Story 1: ESH. While OP is free to break things off due to his morals, it was NOT okay for him to give his GF an ultimatum like that. Parents suck for enabling the affair, John and Kate suck for having it, and GF sucks for calling OP's values an "abstract moral high ground" and therefore being complicit.
The comments on that first story are wild! I think the smell of the money has gone to some people’s heads!
Are they french? 🤔
First, while the op is harsh about the ultimatum, he's not wrong.
They're practically helping a man cheat for 20 years and choose not to learn anything about the wife. Even the girlfriend is helping him.
If Op was to marry this woman, he doesn't have trust that his in-laws will tell him anything. If he was to pull this while they're married, he would be still considered a controlling man instead of someone who's trying to protect their relationship.
1st story: Lets take a minute for Op to come down off his high horse first. Op want his gf to tell HER parents that what they are doing with THEIR friend not the child's (gf) friend is immoral and if the don't obey the child, the gf, she should cut contact with her parent who has been nothing but loving and supportive to her and look, they even bought HER BF a ticket. Op go kick rocks. Yes cheating is wrong but this is three times removed from you but, yet you got your BVDs all in a twist about people you don't know nor will probably never see again. Some people with these high morals.
i will say that if you’re unhappy in a relationship for any reason, you should break up with them. i do think OP was a bit extreme in his response but if it really was that big of a deal for him then yeah, he should have left. he should get therapy though.
Why because he has morals? His ex and her family are terrible people.
Lot of people dont read. Op can withold mike as its for mikes time with them!!!
What does he bring to the table?
Idk... the table in question.
Jfc. This video was shit upon shit. S1's girlfriend knew he hated cheaters and then knowingly brought him to dinner with a loud and proud cheater, but chat dumped on him. S2 OP protected a man from working with a woman who suggested he was a PDFile, but chat dumped on him. S3 OP has valid boundaries and standards for a life partner, but he should toss those aside because a girl has ✨️ DREAMS ✨️ and those dreams matter more than his mental, financial, emotional, and physical health.
This whole video was awful.
4:59 moral perfectionism.
They've got irreconcilable ideological differences. She thinks cheating in a relationship is okay. He doesn't. With the knowledge that she thinks it's okay, he can't trust that she wouldn't do it to him. So they break up. He's an ass for making so much noise and soapboxing about it, but he's not wrong for ending the relationship.
baby name story. hold on hard. if he pushes leave
Story 1: mind your damn business.
Last Story... The fact that OP is competing with a dead person with both her MIL and partner is a disaster. Frankly, she should have run away as soon as he understood she would always be second best to Anna, a sanctified memory of perfection, who is now a corpse.
Unless OP's partner can suddenly come to his senses, utterly disavow his mothers lunacy, and commit himself fully to OP and their children this relationship needs to end.
While I do think OP did go a little far with demanding his gf of less than a year go no contact with her parents I still think he’s NTA. His gf & her family obviously don’t have the same morals as him. It’s not something he can force either. I hope he finds someone with the same values & standards as him. Who cares if “the wife knows!” It’s still disrespectful asf!