Never take him back if his actions never seem to match his words. Nobody should make time for lip service. If he loves you then the proof should always be in the pudding.
(1.)If he is not marriage material, you are already wasting your time.(2.) If he is selfish and a narcissist it will never work. (3.) If you gave him chances and he kept taking you for granted. When he was in your presence he didn't appreciate you, or he would have done better. (4.) Experience is a great teacher. You know what you need and want. If you block him,keep him blocked. It's easy to block and unblock him. He is full of games. A liar is a no no. Never take a liar back. NEVER
I think it all boils down to a woman’s worth & how she sees herself. I left my ex-fiance at 23, for cheating 1 time. And he was shocked. I was the first to not only say I’m leaving. I stayed gone, and haven’t looked back since. When he tried to come back I hit his ass with that “closure talk” & blocked him. Ladies, YOU cannot use love as an excuse. Bc you cannot love a man if you don’t love yourself. (vice versa 4 men), Great video again my brother in Christ. Blessings to you & your family!
Paul Hogue You are entitled to your views & opinions dear. But I’m not going back & forth with a stranger online. May the good Lord continue to bless you & your life.
@Paul Hogue Legit Facts! I am a 28yr old woman and always felt everything you just said. I had a lot of men in my life that did their dirt for sure and the women themselves additional, needed a Hot Leather Belt! I agree with you 100%! God did not make no man or woman better than the other unless they establish good in their individual life. Peace. I think Steve and other motivational speakers preach that to help women be more confident but it does give sexist messages for sure.
What's sad to me is, a man will expect a woman to forgive him a million times for cheating or whatever, but he will dump her the first time she does it to him. smh
So, ladies, think like a man....If he cheats on you, dump his sorry ass and kick him & it to the curb AND DON'T LOOK BACK. A part of you will NEVER FORGET & THERE WILL ALWAYS BE THIS QUIET, DEEP SEATED RESENTMENT BETWEEN THE 2 OF YOU. ONCE A PERSON CHEATS, IT GENERALLY NEVER WORKS OUT IN THE LONG RUN. Guys don't put up with cheating. THEN WHY do you women keep taking take these pos back?!!! I could never understand this. GET RID OF THEM. THEY TRASHED YOUR RELATIONSHIP!!!!
A man that loves you will never hit you. A mentally abusive man will never stop mentally abusing you. He will always find something wrong with you. It’s never ending!! Run!!
If it starts to get verbal, it’s time to go. If you let them get away with the verbal it will escalate to the physical. Don’t let your kids go through that, it changes who they are. Love yourself and your kids more than that.
I couldn't believe what I just went through, but I remember the times,so I was able to identify, no 💰,no sex, no sorry, no excuses ,no love, no futures there but pain. Don't ignore the signs or life will make your experiences hard when dealing with this type of person.
No abuse is okay. A man/woman cursing and yelling at you is unacceptable as well, especially when you don't act that way towards them. Just my opinion. Walk completely away from abuse....it could cost you your life!
I was married for 20 years. The first time I called the police and had counseling. Two years later it happened again. I left and never looked back. He called me crying. I just kept moving. It's been 14 years.
Yessss me too I’m 32 weeks pregnant just left my BD 2 weeks ago because of him hitting me I will now be raising my son as a single mom with lots of support and in a healthy environment !!!! STAY STRONG
I have to they always wait till its over then all of a sudden they texting n calling or wanna wait till it's over to act right ! Well not me anymore. Ion care what he say n those dats coming may not even have a chance. I've had it. Ion care how Good the sex was or nun I'll get over it.
I walked away from my ex because I was emotionally abused by him. He made me feel like I was the problem. Recently found out he was seeing someone even before I came into the picture (a medical doctor). I felt hurt, used and betrayed. I was almost depressed but somehow I learnt to love and forgive myself with the grace of God. We ladies should learn to love ourselves and walk away from this kind of men.
I lost myself in the process of loving someone that didn't deserve nor valued me but I found myself . I can see clear now ! God is good all the time...🙏
Same my story... He's so good for playing game blaming on me, liers, so many times of cheating, ignoring on my offort love to choose other girl over me. I always forgive him but it's me who hurt the most .. So I'm block him now , after few days block, he's show new gf ... It's hard to forget but I hope I'll be strong to go from him. 😔
I needed to hear this. I was that woman who stayed out of financial fear, had many children together, suffered all forms of abuse except for sexual. Seperated after 28 years. Now I'm healing. He is changing for the better, but I can't take him back because of the trauma and the small glimpses that reappear in our co-parenting (I call it confirmation of my choice). My prayer is that he finds true healing and learns to love himself fully.
Same. 28 years. 4 kids. I am angry that he lied, cheated and wasted my time. Finally came to the realization that he did not deserve me. Never did. I was somebody else's wife.
Yes this is so true, when I was in my twenties I put up with bullcrap from men but now in my thirties I don't put up with it. I don't tolerate cursing, yelling, cheating, name calling, lying or any other dehumanizing behavior. You have one time with me and that's it. I do forgive cause I don't want hardness in my heart but i won't deal with you any more forever. I'm too too good of a woman to be mistreated.
Verbal and emotional abuse hurts really bad. Anyone reading this I pray you grow and know your worth and get out of that relationship your beautiful souls 🙏🏾💕blessings
Try a 56 yrs & 5 mos. old punching hater! Next he calling collect fr can, but had to have inmates mother call w/ his apology & I love u! 3 mos no contact. Cat hates himself & everyone else! Done.
I completely agree, it gave me ptsd !!!..So blessed to have left that relationship!!!!💕🙏🏾..men who abuse women this way , are sick & love to see other people suffer
Please understand that physical abuse is preceded by verbal and emotional abuse. It just doesn’t suddenly become physical. Do not tolerate any kind of abuse, period.
Yessss...This right here... "MY" dad never spanked me, cursed or even raised his voice and this is why "I" (not speaking for everyone)NEVER TOLERATE these actions from ANY man in "MY" life.
My dad never mistreated me but here I am have been in an abusive relationship for 10 years . It doesn’t always have anything to do with your childhood. I was just young & uneducated about the evil out there as I was raised in such a loving home, I didn’t realise people could be so cruel. I’ve been trying to get out for a year now. Pray for me that I get the strength for me and my children to be gone soon. I’m so hollow 💔
Praying for you sis. Please get help and never look back. Please pray and know that God will protect you. I recently loss one of my friend’s due to domestic violence.
My heart has been played with, my body has been used, and my hope that we could make it has totally dissipated. I wish him the best but I can't. He allowed others to disrespect me, he would not stand up for me, he never truly loved me. It hurts but I need to move on. Pray for me.
May OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST BLESS RICHLY, HEAL ALL YOUR INNER WOUNDS AND GIVE YOU INNER PEACE AND THE STRENGTH TO FORGIVE YOUR EX PARTNER IN THE MIGHTY NAME OF OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST ✝️👑💝❤️💐AMEN❤️❤️❤️
Praying! May God bless you! I've been there! It gets better and God will give you the strength to make it...there were times I just wanted to stay in bed but God brought me through and I'm still healing! I'm a living witness! You Will live and not die!
I was played in my early 20's then I caught on to game at 27 yrs. and haven't been played since I'm 38 now and wish a you know what would. I pray the Lord continue to be the still voice within and guide us all.
I left my 25 year marriage because my husband put his hands on me,I was devastated because I always had suspicions that he never loved me but this confirmed it.I knew from that point he never loved me and it literally crushed my spirit because I truly loved him.We grew up together,had three children and I couldn't imagine living life without him.I thank God for growth and I'm still growing and learning to love myself for myself,and I pray God has mercy on him.Not saying I was perfect but I truly loved him and gave him all of me.I learned that you never give all of yourself to anyone but God
a sad unfortunate truth...when you love yourself, your expectations of a loving, functional relationship is high and you never will conform or settle for less.
Can't even have a misunderstanding with my ex without him shutting and ignoring phone calls... childish behavior... no I won't take back a grown man-girl! Happy I watched this-
After being in an assault situation with a man i truly loved last yr, i just dont have no faith in a man nor do i ever wanna fall that deep in love again. I think being single is much more safer and content.
Please put faith in God and not man. Please don't allow that person to block your blessings. God has a husband for you so keep healing, keep praying, keep trusting God. He will see you thru. Have faith!
Never take back an abuser like I did. Gave him years of my life; beautiful children, and a happy home. He put his hands on me for years and my dumb ass focused on his tears and begging me to stay. When I left he tried to kill me, promised to kill all of us. He's been in prison for years begging for a chance to come home when his sentence is up. Broken bones, bruises, skull fracture, and 3 years of post concussion syndrome. If they wanna throw hands; let them play with someone else
I left my husband of 10 years for cheating....we got back together after 7 years of separation....It's been almost 5 years back together now, WE BOTH have grown and have a newfound respect for one another and our relationship is better than it ever was....there is hope if two ppl Love each other and are willing to do some soul searching and change❤💛💙💜
I'm happy for you. I think you might be the exception. When I got back with my now ex husband, we'd been separated 4.5 years, it was good for 6 months and then he flipped! I kept trying but when he put his hands on me, especially in front of our kids, I was DONE!! I filed those papers and haven't looked back. Best decision I ever made.
@@falishak6765 Thing is...he recognised what he lost and because he LOVES her,he made it a point to change,to grow. Not many men can do that because they are so one sided
I never go back once I leave. And it don’t take much for me to leave bc I know how to recognize love. Thank God I always loved myself more. Good talk Tony.
Great message! My ex dumped me in June 2019 to pursue a woman. Things didn’t work out with her and I took him back 🤦🏾♀️. He didn’t have a roof over his head or a penny to his name so I knew why he got back with me but I pretended it was love. November 2019 he dumped me again stating we aren’t compatible and he doesn’t see a future with us. I was heartbroken, cried for weeks and begged him to come back but he said no. COVID 19 hits and this Covidiot comes knocking at my door talking about me being the love of his life and wants to start a family omg😤. At first I was flattered then realized he has me pegged for an idiot that he can toy around with. The trauma he caused the second time was so great no way I could take him back but I’d be lying if I say I didnt consider it🤦🏾♀️. He is no longer a part of my life and has been blocked to prevent him trying to creep back in 😁
Oh Good..I have a similar story and if I tell U that when a Boys actions dnt Add up to how U think a QUEEN is suppose to be treat..open da door and let that dog Out..Life is too short to be puttin up with Confused fools. Tony is Good and Look up Pastor R.C Blakes. They have Both helped me when I was really down and Stress and Not knowing wht to do. 😊🤗
Excellent message. I grew up in this type of war zone. I hated every minute of it and at age 9 I told my mother we were better off without him. Thank goodness she listened....
I grew up in a violent home. Us children were the victims. Black eyes, busted lips, constant tension, etc., it's devastating. One of my brothers has severe depression because he was subjected to the violent atmosphere while in the womb, it's all he ever knew. People who did not grow up in violence will never understand. I had to comment because I don't come across people who understand.
@@kp6042 I don't look at it as a waste. I lived, learned and became the Woman I was meant to be. Sometimes we have to except things may not always work out the way we planned but instead of living in the negative, find the positive and move the way God intended...with grace, happiness and thankfulness.
A woman told me that on average an abused woman will go back to an abusive man 7 times before she can leave. Unfortunately, it took me at least twice that time. I am getting better and better since then. Healing happened in layers and with more mistakes but I'm not there with him anymore. Praise the Most High. To thine ownself be true. A man will only do to you what you allow him to do! Take back your power. Know your worth! Get counselling if available. Peace and love. You deserve better 😘
I cant help but get emotional watching this. I wasted 8yrs of my life taking a man back that didnt really love me and treated me bad. I still have flash backs from the abuse. If i knew then, what i know...
It is amazing how you can speak on such serious topics with an infusion of humor that makes the point easier to swallow and hard to forget. Great delivery once again!!! Much appreciated and God Bless You!
I've never been physically abused. I'm sending my sisters love. I'm sorry you endured it and I pray you won't ever accept any type of abuse in the future. You are not your past. It's a new day. I love yall 💕💕💕
That is the definition of love 1st Corinthians 13:4-8 all around the board. Love is patient and kind, it does not envy or get puffed up and it doesn't come to an end.
I have an ex who always bragged about staying friends with women he dated “just in case he ever wanted to go back”. It’s been several years since I kicked him to the curb and he’s still in disbelief that I have no desire to even be friends. Oh, and claims to still have feelings for me and regrets all that he did wrong.
Yeah, most still have ”feelings” for the Exes, hence the reason for so much cheating. 🙄😂 Sounds like he is a classic narcissistic individual! It's common for those characters to be in disbelief that a woman would just not be interested at all after a breakup. 😆 You did well by dropping that joker. 💕 Ha, would have loved to watched his face once he realized you were never responding to him again. 😆😆
He's a useless full (i mean not that there is a useful one). My ex used to brag almost like that too telling me his ex called, that one call. He's still calling me, begging me to call him. He wants to discuss something important with me 🙃
My ex husband stay trying to get me back 🙄. How u trying to get me back but u live with your girlfriend? 🤦🏽♀️Boy bye 👋🏽 Ladies don’t fall for the b/s. If his character haven’t changed for the better just leave him the hell alone. Life is too short to be unhappy.
@@thejazzylife1180 girl you already know. Got no time for the phuckery that's her problem now. Esp considering she was the other woman in our relationship. 💅
If a man really changed you will see it by his actions my ex trying to get me back now and honestly I believe some people are capable of changing in his case nope he is better with someone else .
Thank you Tony! I pray that every young woman hears your messages. I have shared your videos with my patients. You are saving people lives. Children will be saved. Generational curses broken with your messages.
I agree with everything but the part about the "falling in love" saying. I believe love is a choice. You can be so smitten ,so infactuated with someone that you grow so close to that person you begin to develop feelings for them. I call that caring for someone. When you choose to love someone you're taking responsibility to commit your time, resources, etc to that person you care about.
left my 12yr marriage, being in a abusive relationship... forgetting my value... im still building myself... but i thank God im still alive and i was able to leave... now im doing me...
Hi queen!!! Yezzzzz!!!🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿💜💜 I'm soooo happy you found mr TG at this early age!!! Omg!!! I got tears in my eyes, you will not be sorry, PLEASE PLEASE BINGE WATCH AND ABSORB ALLLLLL THIS KNOWLEDGE FOR YOUR HEART AND SOUL SAKE...💜💜😊😊🙏🏾🙏🏾😔😔 take care
Thank you for this video!! I've been watching you for about 1 month now and I am so grateful that you popped up on my TH-cam. I finally walked away 3 months ago and I am never looking back! Toxic relationships are 100% real. One day I will speak my truth and hope to inspire other women to leave!!! Don't go back YOUR life is worth walking away!
LORD KNOWS I NEEDED TO HEAR THIS 20 YEARS OF MARRIAGE EMOTIONAL, PHYSICAL ABUSE NOW I HAVE WOKE UP 20 YEARS LATER I AM IN THE PROCESS OF HEALING I REALLY THANK GOD FOR ALLOWING ME TO SEE YOUR VIDEO A BLESSING NO TURNING BACK MOVING FORWARD I APPRECIATE ALL YOU AND YOUR WIFE DO TO HELP US TO GET BETTER AND TO KNOW MY WORTH AS A WOMAN 💜
If u RESPECT your partner ....you're less likely to violate because love is a feeling that can be fleeting. Love can be a verb if RESPECT comes with it. Also a person cheating is usually a reflection of their character not the flaws of their partner. They use their partner's flaws as justification for their cheating and to deflect. Honestly, I'm here for his accent. I can listen to him all day....
Some men never grow up and have no idea what love is. There are a few good ones out there. Many men want to settle down and live right when they are half dead.
This is true. (SN: I made sure he realized that I could fight like a man before I left! He knew that God didn’t put me on this earth to be someone’s punching bag.)
No one talks about this but hitting your kids, beating your kids IS abuse. Period. Parents please stop hitting and beating your kids especially little girls- it sets them up for abusive relationships.
Tony my husband uses to curse me whole night. He would take the money we work for between 8 and 2 pm . go to the Rumshop and gamble and drink come home and tell me the worst things. The house is my own so he had to leave would leave and come back. In 2013 my two children and I nearly lost our life. Thank God for saving us. He want to chop and burn my house down. I held my children and prayed because we could not go through the back or front door. I endured this whole night until next morning . One of his relative came for him to do document and I took my children and went to the Justic of peace for a restraining order to get him out my house. I left my own house until the police got him out. I returned after three weeks and my children and I are doing much better now. I had to deal with mental health issues with the children. My daughter wanted to hang herself my son wanted to hunt his father down to kill him . I thank God for taking us through. I am now recovering pray is my solice. God bless you Tony
Thank you Tony. Abuse destroys lives, families. You are my virtual older brother. Every time I think of letting a guy like this back, I just replay this video. Reality check!!!
Big issue with us women is a lot of us have a "good nature" and we fall into the trap of "should". Men should not do this, men should not do that. But the reality is some men do. Human beings don't do what they should do, they do what they can do. React to and do something about the reality facing you (no matter how unfair and wrong you think it is), instead of bothering about what he "should" be doing. I've had women close to me experience abuse and they talk endlessly about how unfair the man is being and that a man "should" not be doing that to them. But they never act on the reality of the situation. It's unfortunate.
So true ... I agree ...it is unfortunate......one of my friends was like that ..my question to her everytime was ...why did she keep focusing on "what he did?" "what do you want to do?" oh I couldn't take it ....he caused her to loose her place etc ..on and on ..she eventually stop talking about it
Yeah it can be hard when you are on this type of situation...you want to understand/male excuses anakize I think it comes down to our human nature to want to make sense of things...as in your mind when you are good to someone you can't understand when someone is bad to you..but sometimes that is the reason cause we too nice..make excuses analizing a situation a person...but the truth is we can anakize and try to make sense of something but sometimes you just can't instead of looking at it from their perspective you need to think of it differently not what you need to do better to make them like you but what they should be doing to make you want to consider there sorry ass...they should selling themselves to us we are the prize...this is what in am learning I guess I need to change my mindset too Xx
I had a guy curse me out and then block me on social media. I had a feeling he would come back so I blocked him on all aspects. I did not deserve that kind of treatment.I deserve better.
A very painful video to my past of 30 something years ago. The kids dad was an alcoholic and physically and mentally abused me. I got a job working overnights and saving money. He had no idea what I was doing. My mother and I went out looking for a duplex for me and the kids to move into and leave. My parents, my siblings and their spouses helped me literally move out with things in garbage bags and moved out while he was at work. I never laid a hand on my kids, when we moved, we went to counseling for 2 1/2 years. They had their own counselor and I had my own. Never questioned them about their counseling unless they wanted to share something. I grounded my kids, took special things away from them, told them no one would ever lay a hand on them. Left and divorced his sorry ass and never looked back. There is a God! Thank you for your intellectual insight and compassion to do this video. Xoxo
Omg TONY , The passion, wisdom, and side splitting laughter you give from a heart of GOD'S TRUTH AND GOD'S LOVE FOR ALL HUMANITY IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING.. You are a blessing my brother in christ. Thank you for sharing, caring, and making me laugh so hard I almost wet myself. Sorry . Not trying to be disrespectful. Laughter is medicine for my soul. You give me my daily medicine and blessing. Thank you. God bless you & your family. They are soooooo blessed to have a GROWN man like you to guide them and love them the way you do. I'm about to cry now. Thank you soooooo much Mr. Tony
Tony is speaking the truth! Thirty three years ago, my friend and her 5 year old son was murdered by a man she was dating, as they walked home. It still haunts me today. Do not play with the one life God has given you!🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
Thank you I was clapping my hands when you said, you don't get to say any ill will toward the Queen you will be blocked. That's how it should be. Awesome!
Thank God for your words. The Bible also says What's Done in the Dark will eventually come to the light oh, so these men that cheat think they're going to get away eventually it will come and hit them in the face
I remember the first time my ex put his hands on me..... He grabbed me and then grabbed me by my neck and rammed my head into the floor which was hardwood. And I stayed after that. And then in other events it went onto his mom showing up to my house and also putting her hands on me and Then another time his sister and mom showed up at my house and fought me and I had to get a restraining order against them both. And i stayed with him after all that ..... Because I thought he loved me thinking he just made a mistake and his family was mad that there's was another woman in his life. And his family disrespected me countless times because I guess they felt I was taking him away. And I wouldn't let his mom talk to me any kind of way and she VERY disrespectful and ratchet. For almost 3 years I stayed. He broke up with me and went back to his baby mama. I was so stuck after this breakup because I felt like everything I went through was in vain. And because he left me I was literally so crushed and still dealing with it because that's not even half of what I've been through. I thought being treated badly meant he loved me. And I was stuck on the fact that he wasn't always that way. So right now I'm healing because I shouldn't want somebody like that back in my life. So I have to love myself More
Beautiful keep pushing through. You have been through alot and you made it through. You made it. You are better. You are becoming better. If anyone hasn't told you, you are strong
We all fall short. Get strong and moving forward watch how you allow people to treat you. If they see that you're accepting mistreatment from anyone, they will try you too. Soul ties are strong but God will break it if you trust him to do it.
This is the worst but also the best experience for you because you're going to be able to screen the people who you let into your life in future. The fact that you are here getting this kind of knowledge and doing the healing work just gos to show how incredible you are, some people unfortunately stay broken and bitter. You can take your experience to help other women learn about self love and self respect, most of us haven't learnt it whilst young so don't even know about or implement it. But that's part of the healing process. As part of God's work you could even help women in a domestic abuse shelter or it doesn't even have to be hands on, you can put videos out on TH-cam, or just have that chat to the woman in the shop who's self esteem's on the floor and give her words of encouragement and upliftment. You can learn to forgive your ex and his family ( not for them, for you) by thanking them for teaching you a lesson to work on yourself through a nurturing attitude towards yourself. So glad that you're here, learning and growing yourself. The most important lesson we can learn from these situations is about how we show up for ourselves. I wish you the best of luck and lots of love now and for your furure. Well done you for leaving them behind. Just remember often times abusers have been the abused at some point so instead of hate we can feel pity and compassion for them! But never have to take abuse again. Much love xxxxxxxx
Wow! I am so glad you moved on from this! You are so precious sis and God will send you someone who will not hurt you! Sending you love and encouragement!!!!
Tony, I almost gave up on your videos. Not because of you, but because I realized i am no where near ready for a relationship, and I prob won't be for the next 10 years. But something made me click on this video and I'm so grateful because I needed to hear you share the testimony of that lady who was sexually abused then became successful. As a survivor of sexual abuse, people don't understand the pain. They tell me to just get over it, but it's not easy. Imagine having someone break into your house and you no longer feel safe/comfortable in that house, that's how I feel in my BODY. This is my only human experience on this earth and it was tainted with perversion, and for that I contemplate suicide everyday. I'm in therapy, taking pills, and I will be for the rest of my life. But hearing you share that testimony gave me some hope.
This is so true and real! Sometimes you have to recognize why we as women tolerate the behavior and why the men mistreat the woman they say they love. You have to realize when you’re a human teddy bear! I totally went through this very thing with my ex of 3.5 years.
I am a very educated woman/PhD level. Your videos are spot on. I wish women would RAISE their standards and stop taking breadcrumbs from men. Men could try all the nonsense they want but if women take them back 90% of the time, it does them no good. LADIES, RAISE YOUR STANDARDS & KICK HIS BUTT TO THE CURB WHEN NEEDED & DON'T TAKE HIM BACK. YOU ARE STRONG & FINE BY YOURSELF. I was shocked that the take back rate was 90%
I personaly think men recpect very will educated woman like you as they know well educated woman wont take no shitt and will walk away if they miss behavie
@Trinity BMS Perhaps my comment came across the wrong way. Yes, I agree, you are correct. I mentioned my education level because I should have said based on my education, everything that Tony is saying is correct. I am well versed on this topic and Tony is giving good advice and good information.
Tony, this was SPOT on. Thank you. I am a survivor of DV. What you said is the truth. Bless you, for telling women & some men what no one talks about until after the fact.
I can’t believe I tolerated this… the abuse the lies the on and off back and forth disrespect down talking multiple women. I was 17 It took me 10 1/2 years to wake up cause I wanted believe he would change.: I love myself completely NOW ! I had to start loving me MORE & letting what’s not for me go . I realized my WORTH & VAULE . He tried to break me cause he was broken. . Ladies plz never tolerate leave immediately!!! It only gets worse 💯Putting me first Always thank you 🙏🏼
One day I will share my full story... but if someone would’ve told me you’d end up staying in a abusive relationship for 5 years, I would’ve said you’re crazy and I don’t believe you! Insecurities is not to be played with! Check yourself early and be extremely careful what you tell yourself, especially when your friends are getting married and having children and everyone’s asking you why aren’t you married!!! I remember one woman in the church told me ‘I’m such a waste”. She couldn’t understand at aged 24/25yrs old why I wasn’t married. All these seeds grew bigger in my head and I didn’t actually realise. I was always positive to people but mentally I didn’t love myself. After awhile I’m looking for love and the devil man found me. I actually felt sorry for him (he went through abuse himself). He actually use to hit himself in the head during arguments to shut me up. It took the third incident after having my 6 week old baby to finally leave! Self care and self love must be the priority!! No man is worth your peace!
This hit me right in the face... I am married to someone who says he love me but shows me different I am getting ready to leave him alone thou and now he’s sad but he’s still having a lot of issues no changes
Don't tell him your leaving. Just go an block him from all social media an let close friends an family no that you not with him anymore so that way when he tries to act friendly with your family an friend they already no not to give him any info on you whereabouts
Not the ultimate feast 🤣😂 I'm sorry Tony. This is a, serious matter for sure. Thank God I've never experienced putting on of hands. But definitely emotional. Thank you for shedding more light on this epidemic. Too many women settle for less than deserved.
3x’s he cheated with the same woman & they still have a friendship relationship that he justified I don’t want her. I was blind because I loved him, but what I didn’t realize was my self worth & love of myself was being ignored to satisfy me just wanting to be a person in his life he never had, but he didn’t appreciate me enough to stop himself ever. I finally after 4 years decided I love me & I’m worth not being cheated on. Thank you Tony through listening to your videos I regained my self worth & love & wont tolerate what he was trying to offer me.
Never take him back if his actions never seem to match his words. Nobody should make time for lip service. If he loves you then the proof should always be in the pudding.
You can say that again.. well said
Nor should any woman have to build a man up or tell a man how to love her.
Yes BlackqueenFacts
@@lifepath6187 Say it louder, for the folks in the back....Nothing but FACTS...
Amen to that
(1.)If he is not marriage material, you are already wasting your time.(2.) If he is selfish and a narcissist it will never work.
(3.) If you gave him chances and he kept taking you for granted. When he was in your presence he didn't appreciate you, or he would have done better.
(4.) Experience is a great teacher. You know what you need and want. If you block him,keep him blocked. It's easy to block and unblock him. He is full of games. A liar is a no no. Never take a liar back. NEVER
Thank you 😊
Thank you
Amen and thank you 🙏🏾
Agree.
I think it all boils down to a woman’s worth & how she sees herself. I left my ex-fiance at 23, for cheating 1 time. And he was shocked. I was the first to not only say I’m leaving. I stayed gone, and haven’t looked back since. When he tried to come back I hit his ass with that “closure talk” & blocked him. Ladies, YOU cannot use love as an excuse. Bc you cannot love a man if you don’t love yourself. (vice versa 4 men), Great video again my brother in Christ. Blessings to you & your family!
Paul Hogue You are entitled to your views & opinions dear. But I’m not going back & forth with a stranger online. May the good Lord continue to bless you & your life.
Zijai King girl yes with the “I said what I said” energy!
Yes, lol. Thank you Queen
❤
@Paul Hogue Legit Facts! I am a 28yr old woman and always felt everything you just said. I had a lot of men in my life that did their dirt for sure and the women themselves additional, needed a Hot Leather Belt! I agree with you 100%! God did not make no man or woman better than the other unless they establish good in their individual life. Peace. I think Steve and other motivational speakers preach that to help women be more confident but it does give sexist messages for sure.
I truly believe if you are in love with a person you will not cheat
Exactly Thank you
I agree! 💯
🎯
I'm at the age and have been on both side of the fence....it's just not worth to cheat
Truth... In any fashion verbally, emotionally, or physically..
What's sad to me is, a man will expect a woman to forgive him a million times for cheating or whatever, but he will dump her the first time she does it to him. smh
Exactly
Rosalynd Green selfish
So, ladies, think like a man....If he cheats on you, dump his sorry ass and kick him & it to the curb AND DON'T LOOK BACK. A part of you will NEVER FORGET & THERE WILL ALWAYS BE THIS QUIET, DEEP SEATED RESENTMENT BETWEEN THE 2 OF YOU. ONCE A PERSON CHEATS, IT GENERALLY NEVER WORKS OUT IN THE LONG RUN. Guys don't put up with cheating. THEN WHY do you women keep taking take these pos back?!!! I could never understand this. GET RID OF THEM. THEY TRASHED YOUR RELATIONSHIP!!!!
R G exactly 👍🏽
Facts
A man that loves you will never hit you.
A mentally abusive man will never stop mentally abusing you. He will always find something wrong with you. It’s never ending!! Run!!
A good man will lift you up.
Periodt & Amen💯!!!👍🏽👍🏽
Amen
❤️❤️❤️ TRUTH.💯
This is exactly why I built up the strength to leave. Ladies listen, because he’s telling the truth.
Sierra M. Your beautiful! You deserve the world. God bless you dear 💖💕
Sure is. I left broke the lease all of it! Ladies LEAVE!!
Zijai King thank you❤️
HiiiYella yes!👏🏾👏🏾
I'm trying so hard to leave!!! Im in a situation where I feel stuck....😔
If it starts to get verbal, it’s time to go. If you let them get away with the verbal it will escalate to the physical. Don’t let your kids go through that, it changes who they are. Love yourself and your kids more than that.
This is true, I've experienced this a few times before I finally got it
Yes I say 'respect' is very important in a relationship period!!
I couldn't believe what I just went through, but I remember the times,so I was able to identify, no 💰,no sex, no sorry, no excuses ,no love, no futures there but pain. Don't ignore the signs or life will make your experiences hard when dealing with this type of person.
Exactly.
Exactly! The moment a man raises his voice at me...i am out with the quickness!!!!
Any form of abuse is motivated by hate: emotional/psychological, physical, financial every form of abuse
This is so true. Don’t take them back. They have not changed!
Most of them haven’t
No abuse is okay. A man/woman cursing and yelling at you is unacceptable as well, especially when you don't act that way towards them. Just my opinion. Walk completely away from abuse....it could cost you your life!
True
I was married for 20 years. The first time I called the police and had counseling. Two years later it happened again. I left and never looked back. He called me crying. I just kept moving. It's been 14 years.
🙏🏻 because of you, I left a domestic abusive relationship. He told me I always provoked it, until I knew he was just I’ll-minded.
Yessss me too I’m 32 weeks pregnant just left my BD 2 weeks ago because of him hitting me I will now be raising my son as a single mom with lots of support and in a healthy environment !!!! STAY STRONG
@@royalemarie2182 proud of you both. Seek therapy, it helps a lot. Heal and live your best life
Brave and strong
I've been played with like a doll to long. It should of ended 3 years ago. Now the day has come.
I have to they always wait till its over then all of a sudden they texting n calling or wanna wait till it's over to act right ! Well not me anymore. Ion care what he say n those dats coming may not even have a chance. I've had it. Ion care how Good the sex was or nun I'll get over it.
You get sick of tired with the games. Life is too short, he is not worth it.
Best of luck baby don't give up. I picked up and left with 2 kids
@@purebitty8512 Same sis🙂 I left with 2 kids 7yrs ago and never looked back
I celebrate my decision every year 🥰 peace and love from Az
You got this sis! The soul ties are a real thing but you will overcome!!!
I walked away from my ex because I was emotionally abused by him. He made me feel like I was the problem. Recently found out he was seeing someone even before I came into the picture (a medical doctor). I felt hurt, used and betrayed. I was almost depressed but somehow I learnt to love and forgive myself with the grace of God. We ladies should learn to love ourselves and walk away from this kind of men.
Amen
Ive been mentally & emotionally abused it's a hurting feeling.
Amen to that!
I lost myself in the process of loving someone that didn't deserve nor valued me but I found myself . I can see clear now !
God is good all the time...🙏
Same my story... He's so good for playing game blaming on me, liers, so many times of cheating, ignoring on my offort love to choose other girl over me. I always forgive him but it's me who hurt the most .. So I'm block him now , after few days block, he's show new gf ... It's hard to forget but I hope I'll be strong to go from him. 😔
I needed to hear this. I was that woman who stayed out of financial fear, had many children together, suffered all forms of abuse except for sexual. Seperated after 28 years. Now I'm healing. He is changing for the better, but I can't take him back because of the trauma and the small glimpses that reappear in our co-parenting (I call it confirmation of my choice). My prayer is that he finds true healing and learns to love himself fully.
I needed to hear this message too.and also your message to I am 20 years in I am healing now Thank You blessings
I pray healing and wholeness for you both🦋
Same. 28 years. 4 kids. I am angry that he lied, cheated and wasted my time. Finally came to the realization that he did not deserve me. Never did. I was somebody else's wife.
@EnJoy Life And Smile I liked that too
Same here girl
Yes this is so true, when I was in my twenties I put up with bullcrap from men but now in my thirties I don't put up with it. I don't tolerate cursing, yelling, cheating, name calling, lying or any other dehumanizing behavior. You have one time with me and that's it. I do forgive cause I don't want hardness in my heart but i won't deal with you any more forever. I'm too too good of a woman to be mistreated.
💯
This is soooooo true, I wish all women felt this way about themselves.
@@elainegomillion978 yes girl!
You’re so strong. I want that to be me, too!
Yass
For me cheating is an absolute "NO" You cheat on me I am gone. Don't worry about me or how I'm doing.
Yeap
Same here Brit'nee 👏👏👏
When you mature, you don't, things to ever hurt the person, or person connected to the person you love.
Right....call ole grl you cheated wit.
Verbal and emotional abuse hurts really bad. Anyone reading this I pray you grow and know your worth and get out of that relationship your beautiful souls 🙏🏾💕blessings
Try a 56 yrs & 5 mos. old punching hater! Next he calling collect fr can, but had to have inmates mother call w/ his apology & I love u!
3 mos no contact. Cat hates himself & everyone else! Done.
I completely agree, it gave me ptsd !!!..So blessed to have left that relationship!!!!💕🙏🏾..men who abuse women this way , are sick & love to see other people suffer
Please understand that physical abuse is preceded by verbal and emotional abuse. It just doesn’t suddenly become physical. Do not tolerate any kind of abuse, period.
In love = No stress! No harm! 🙌🏿🥰
Yessss...This right here...
"MY" dad never spanked me, cursed or even raised his voice and this is why "I" (not speaking for everyone)NEVER TOLERATE these actions from ANY man in "MY" life.
On point!! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
My dad never mistreated me but here I am have been in an abusive relationship for 10 years . It doesn’t always have anything to do with your childhood.
I was just young & uneducated about the evil out there as I was raised in such a loving home, I didn’t realise people could be so cruel.
I’ve been trying to get out for a year now. Pray for me that I get the strength for me and my children to be gone soon.
I’m so hollow 💔
@@small11989 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽 for you. I agree it has nothing to do with your childhood.
@@small11989 praying for you and ur beautiful children 🙏🏾💛
Praying for you sis. Please get help and never look back. Please pray and know that God will protect you.
I recently loss one of my friend’s due to domestic violence.
My heart has been played with, my body has been used, and my hope that we could make it has totally dissipated. I wish him the best but I can't. He allowed others to disrespect me, he would not stand up for me, he never truly loved me. It hurts but I need to move on. Pray for me.
Praying for you sister. Replay it over and over so that you remember why you walked away. Be strong !!!
May OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST BLESS RICHLY, HEAL ALL YOUR INNER WOUNDS AND GIVE YOU INNER PEACE AND THE STRENGTH TO FORGIVE YOUR EX PARTNER IN THE MIGHTY NAME OF OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST ✝️👑💝❤️💐AMEN❤️❤️❤️
Praying for you Sis🙏🏾
Praying! May God bless you! I've been there! It gets better and God will give you the strength to make it...there were times I just wanted to stay in bed but God brought me through and I'm still healing! I'm a living witness! You Will live and not die!
I will pray for you
I was played in my early 20's then I caught on to game at 27 yrs. and haven't been played since I'm 38 now and wish a you know what would. I pray the Lord continue to be the still voice within and guide us all.
Amen
28 now just had my eyes open took me a year to leave. I'm free now.
Amen. Praise The Most Beautiful Lord!
I left my 25 year marriage because my husband put his hands on me,I was devastated because I always had suspicions that he never loved me but this confirmed it.I knew from that point he never loved me and it literally crushed my spirit because I truly loved him.We grew up together,had three children and I couldn't imagine living life without him.I thank God for growth and I'm still growing and learning to love myself for myself,and I pray God has mercy on him.Not saying I was perfect but I truly loved him and gave him all of me.I learned that you never give all of yourself to anyone but God
Going through the same thing sis praying for you
Praying for you. 🙏🏽
Well done to you for leaving him. That took a lot of strength and courage.
You are so strong! Blessings on you.
God bless and bring healing to you. Stay strong Sis.
This is Why I Am SINGLE! & Walked Away from a Good Man that wasn't a GOD MAN, which is a REQUIREMENT for Me & I just Ain't Settling!
a sad unfortunate truth...when you love yourself, your expectations of a loving, functional relationship is high and you never will conform or settle for less.
Can't even have a misunderstanding with my ex without him shutting and ignoring phone calls... childish behavior... no I won't take back a grown man-girl! Happy I watched this-
That's very childish behavior.
Girl same!!!! Blocking me from his phone, from social media. Smh
Same 🙋🏽♀️
Yep!!
Yep
Love and even tough love doesn't hurt, but loving the wrong person does. There is no in-love or love in an abusive equation...only hate! 🙌🏾
Smart!❤️
Recognize crazy early...it will only escalate and get worse...
Yes
NEVER take them back!🙋🏾♀️ Keep it movin!😎
“When you love someone is to take them as part of yourself, that means you can’t hurt them without hurting yourself”
After being in an assault situation with a man i truly loved last yr, i just dont have no faith in a man nor do i ever wanna fall that deep in love again. I think being single is much more safer and content.
Hope you're feeling better 💜 You are loved and you are better than that situation. Peace and blessings Sis
Please put faith in God and not man. Please don't allow that person to block your blessings. God has a husband for you so keep healing, keep praying, keep trusting God. He will see you thru. Have faith!
Amen!
Never take back an abuser like I did.
Gave him years of my life; beautiful children, and a happy home. He put his hands on me for years and my dumb ass focused on his tears and begging me to stay. When I left he tried to kill me, promised to kill all of us. He's been in prison for years begging for a chance to come home when his sentence is up.
Broken bones, bruises, skull fracture, and 3 years of post concussion syndrome.
If they wanna throw hands; let them play with someone else
Wow, I need to look at this like I dodged a bullet but I'm afraid for the next girl.
I left my husband of 10 years for cheating....we got back together after 7 years of separation....It's been almost 5 years back together now, WE BOTH have grown and have a newfound respect for one another and our relationship is better than it ever was....there is hope if two ppl Love each other and are willing to do some soul searching and change❤💛💙💜
You 2 just might be the exception.
This is what I'm hoping for.
I'm happy for you. I think you might be the exception. When I got back with my now ex husband, we'd been separated 4.5 years, it was good for 6 months and then he flipped! I kept trying but when he put his hands on me, especially in front of our kids, I was DONE!! I filed those papers and haven't looked back. Best decision I ever made.
@@falishak6765 Thing is...he recognised what he lost and because he LOVES her,he made it a point to change,to grow. Not many men can do that because they are so one sided
CONGRATULATIONS!!!! I wish the both of you MANY more years together.
I never go back once I leave. And it don’t take much for me to leave bc I know how to recognize love. Thank God I always loved myself more. Good talk Tony.
Great message! My ex dumped me in June 2019 to pursue a woman. Things didn’t work out with her and I took him back 🤦🏾♀️. He didn’t have a roof over his head or a penny to his name so I knew why he got back with me but I pretended it was love. November 2019 he dumped me again stating we aren’t compatible and he doesn’t see a future with us. I was heartbroken, cried for weeks and begged him to come back but he said no. COVID 19 hits and this Covidiot comes knocking at my door talking about me being the love of his life and wants to start a family omg😤. At first I was flattered then realized he has me pegged for an idiot that he can toy around with. The trauma he caused the second time was so great no way I could take him back but I’d be lying if I say I didnt consider it🤦🏾♀️. He is no longer a part of my life and has been blocked to prevent him trying to creep back in 😁
Oh Good..I have a similar story and if I tell U that when a Boys actions dnt Add up to how U think a QUEEN is suppose to be treat..open da door and let that dog Out..Life is too short to be puttin up with Confused fools. Tony is Good and Look up Pastor R.C Blakes. They have Both helped me when I was really down and Stress and Not knowing wht to do. 😊🤗
Good for you! As my brother calls it, he's a "eff boy!"
Good for you, stay strong ❤
Sounds like the narcissist I dealt with
Sound like the Bs. I'm going theu. I was used and abuse. I'm so done now!
Excellent message. I grew up in this type of war zone. I hated every minute of it and at age 9 I told my mother we were better off without him. Thank goodness she listened....
TG, Thank you...again!
I grew up in a violent home. Us children were the victims. Black eyes, busted lips, constant tension, etc., it's devastating. One of my brothers has severe depression because he was subjected to the violent atmosphere while in the womb, it's all he ever knew. People who did not grow up in violence will never understand. I had to comment because I don't come across people who understand.
I CAN NOT..."500 Alex"....I left my 20yr Marriage because I learned my value. Continue to SPEAK the truth Tony!
I hate to see that so many women wasted 20+ yrs of their lives in marriages that were (probably) over before they began.
@@kp6042 I don't look at it as a waste. I lived, learned and became the Woman I was meant to be. Sometimes we have to except things may not always work out the way we planned but instead of living in the negative, find the positive and move the way God intended...with grace, happiness and thankfulness.
“Never take a man back after he has put 🖐 🤚 on you.” TG
And vice versa
Bella Aldama
Yes, invert the message for the other.
NEVER
"If that man tell you the sky is blue, He lying". I hollered.
Lol
😂😂😂😂
A woman told me that on average an abused woman will go back to an abusive man 7 times before she can leave. Unfortunately, it took me at least twice that time. I am getting better and better since then. Healing happened in layers and with more mistakes but I'm not there with him anymore. Praise the Most High.
To thine ownself be true.
A man will only do to you what you allow him to do! Take back your power. Know your worth! Get counselling if available. Peace and love. You deserve better 😘
Amen 🙏
You may have actually saved a lot of women's lives with his word thank you
I cant help but get emotional watching this. I wasted 8yrs of my life taking a man back that didnt really love me and treated me bad. I still have flash backs from the abuse. If i knew then, what i know...
Same here but I know better now
A pound of cure vs. An ounce of prevention.
I had to write that down in my notes on my phone too 💯
It is amazing how you can speak on such serious topics with an infusion of humor that makes the point easier to swallow and hard to forget. Great delivery once again!!! Much appreciated and God Bless You!
I've never been physically abused. I'm sending my sisters love. I'm sorry you endured it and I pray you won't ever accept any type of abuse in the future. You are not your past. It's a new day. I love yall 💕💕💕
That is the definition of love 1st Corinthians 13:4-8 all around the board.
Love is patient and kind, it does not envy or get puffed up and it doesn't come to an end.
I have an ex who always bragged about staying friends with women he dated “just in case he ever wanted to go back”. It’s been several years since I kicked him to the curb and he’s still in disbelief that I have no desire to even be friends. Oh, and claims to still have feelings for me and regrets all that he did wrong.
Yup same story with mine wants to come back and can’t believe that I don’t want to come back to him. He’s in utter disbelief!
Lol sounds like my hubby soon to be ex. I don’t want to be your friend like that. Hi and bye is the most you’ll get
Yeah, most still have ”feelings” for the Exes, hence the reason for so much cheating. 🙄😂 Sounds like he is a classic narcissistic individual! It's common for those characters to be in disbelief that a woman would just not be interested at all after a breakup. 😆 You did well by dropping that joker. 💕 Ha, would have loved to watched his face once he realized you were never responding to him again. 😆😆
He's a useless full (i mean not that there is a useful one). My ex used to brag almost like that too telling me his ex called, that one call. He's still calling me, begging me to call him. He wants to discuss something important with me 🙃
Every time I watch paternity Court I understand why Tony make these videos, because we need to hear good advice. Thank you Tony 👍
Love has to start from somewhere...To me it has to start FROM RESPECT!
My ex husband stay trying to get me back 🙄. How u trying to get me back but u live with your girlfriend? 🤦🏽♀️Boy bye 👋🏽 Ladies don’t fall for the b/s. If his character haven’t changed for the better just leave him the hell alone. Life is too short to be unhappy.
Same
Girl same. Be begginggggg. Dont get me to talking about his behavior at drop off /pick up of our child 😏. But driving the chick car doh. 💁
@@christinewarren8134 lol Stand your ground!!!
@@thejazzylife1180 girl you already know. Got no time for the phuckery that's her problem now. Esp considering she was the other woman in our relationship. 💅
If a man really changed you will see it by his actions my ex trying to get me back now and honestly I believe some people are capable of changing in his case nope he is better with someone else .
Thank you Tony! I pray that every young woman hears your messages. I have shared your videos with my patients. You are saving people lives. Children will be saved. Generational curses broken with your messages.
I thank God for taking the time to heal and letting everything be revealed... and bless everyone in the comments they help.
Amen
I agree with everything but the part about the "falling in love" saying. I believe love is a choice. You can be so smitten ,so infactuated with someone that you grow so close to that person you begin to develop feelings for them. I call that caring for someone. When you choose to love someone you're taking responsibility to commit your time, resources, etc to that person you care about.
It's just the wording that is different but what you are trying to say is the same that Tony has said.
Thank you ladies for that info!
It is a decision.
But you never put your hands on them
Thank you for making it PLAIN! Although he's BLOCKED, he"s still calling and professing his forever love, but I can't go back.Thanks again, Tony!!
left my 12yr marriage, being in a abusive relationship... forgetting my value... im still building myself... but i thank God im still alive and i was able to leave... now im doing me...
Can you tell your story on the woojavi app . We are women healing from past relationships ptsd
I’m only 21 and this video was very helpful. Thank you Tony 🙏🏽
Hi queen!!! Yezzzzz!!!🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿💜💜 I'm soooo happy you found mr TG at this early age!!! Omg!!! I got tears in my eyes, you will not be sorry, PLEASE PLEASE BINGE WATCH AND ABSORB ALLLLLL THIS KNOWLEDGE FOR YOUR HEART AND SOUL SAKE...💜💜😊😊🙏🏾🙏🏾😔😔 take care
Watch the one where he talks about the other woman my fav
Thank you for this video!! I've been watching you for about 1 month now and I am so grateful that you popped up on my TH-cam. I finally walked away 3 months ago and I am never looking back! Toxic relationships are 100% real. One day I will speak my truth and hope to inspire other women to leave!!! Don't go back YOUR life is worth walking away!
LORD KNOWS I NEEDED TO HEAR THIS 20 YEARS OF MARRIAGE EMOTIONAL, PHYSICAL ABUSE NOW I HAVE WOKE UP 20 YEARS LATER I AM IN THE PROCESS OF HEALING I REALLY THANK GOD FOR ALLOWING ME TO SEE YOUR VIDEO A BLESSING NO TURNING BACK MOVING FORWARD I APPRECIATE ALL YOU AND YOUR WIFE DO TO HELP US TO GET BETTER AND TO KNOW MY WORTH AS A WOMAN 💜
I pray for your entire healing and restoration!!! God’s got you sis🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
All the best for you 🙏🏽
If u RESPECT your partner ....you're less likely to violate because love is a feeling that can be fleeting. Love can be a verb if RESPECT comes with it. Also a person cheating is usually a reflection of their character not the flaws of their partner. They use their partner's flaws as justification for their cheating and to deflect.
Honestly, I'm here for his accent. I can listen to him all day....
Some men never grow up and have no idea what love is.
There are a few good ones out there.
Many men want to settle down and live right when they are half dead.
This is true. (SN: I made sure he realized that I could fight like a man before I left! He knew that God didn’t put me on this earth to be someone’s punching bag.)
If I wasn’t afraid of the retaliation, I would’ve hurt him too. 😆
No one talks about this but hitting your kids, beating your kids IS abuse. Period. Parents please stop hitting and beating your kids especially little girls- it sets them up for abusive relationships.
Tony my husband uses to curse me whole night. He would take the money we work for between 8 and 2 pm . go to the Rumshop and gamble and drink come home and tell me the worst things. The house is my own so he had to leave would leave and come back. In 2013 my two children and I nearly lost our life. Thank God for saving us. He want to chop and burn my house down. I held my children and prayed because we could not go through the back or front door. I endured this whole night until next morning . One of his relative came for him to do document and I took my children and went to the Justic of peace for a restraining order to get him out my house. I left my own house until the police got him out. I returned after three weeks and my children and I are doing much better now.
I had to deal with mental health issues with the children. My daughter wanted to hang herself my son wanted to hunt his father down to kill him . I thank God for taking us through. I am now recovering pray is my solice. God bless you Tony
Lord have mercy, thank God he brought you through. If possible you may have to see a therapist for yourself and your children.
Well done for getting out for your kids, thats all that matters
God bless you and your children
@@chrisgarcia1487 thanks bless you too
Block, block, block. Lol
Stubborn, Stupid, Insecure, and Egotistical! I might add Tony, thanks for keeping it real! Our Queens deserve better!
Thank you Tony. Abuse destroys lives, families. You are my virtual older brother.
Every time I think of letting a guy like this back, I just replay this video.
Reality check!!!
Big issue with us women is a lot of us have a "good nature" and we fall into the trap of "should". Men should not do this, men should not do that. But the reality is some men do. Human beings don't do what they should do, they do what they can do. React to and do something about the reality facing you (no matter how unfair and wrong you think it is), instead of bothering about what he "should" be doing.
I've had women close to me experience abuse and they talk endlessly about how unfair the man is being and that a man "should" not be doing that to them. But they never act on the reality of the situation. It's unfortunate.
So true ... I agree ...it is unfortunate......one of my friends was like that ..my question to her everytime was ...why did she keep focusing on "what he did?" "what do you want to do?" oh I couldn't take it ....he caused her to loose her place etc ..on and on ..she eventually stop talking about it
Yeah it can be hard when you are on this type of situation...you want to understand/male excuses anakize I think it comes down to our human nature to want to make sense of things...as in your mind when you are good to someone you can't understand when someone is bad to you..but sometimes that is the reason cause we too nice..make excuses analizing a situation a person...but the truth is we can anakize and try to make sense of something but sometimes you just can't instead of looking at it from their perspective you need to think of it differently not what you need to do better to make them like you but what they should be doing to make you want to consider there sorry ass...they should selling themselves to us we are the prize...this is what in am learning I guess I need to change my mindset too Xx
This is very true
So true how they gradually work their way up from verbal outbursts to physical, almost like each step is a test to see if you'll tolerate it 🤷🏻♀️
I had a guy curse me out and then block me on social media. I had a feeling he would come back so I blocked him on all aspects. I did not deserve that kind of treatment.I deserve better.
A very painful video to my past of 30 something years ago. The kids dad was an alcoholic and physically and mentally abused me. I got a job working overnights and saving money. He had no idea what I was doing.
My mother and I went out looking for a duplex for me and the kids to move into and leave. My parents, my siblings and their spouses helped me literally move out with things in garbage bags and moved out while he was at work.
I never laid a hand on my kids, when we moved, we went to counseling for 2 1/2 years. They had their own counselor and I had my own. Never questioned them about their counseling unless they wanted to share something.
I grounded my kids, took special things away from them, told them no one would ever lay a hand on them.
Left and divorced his sorry ass and never looked back. There is a God! Thank you for your intellectual insight and compassion to do this video. Xoxo
Omg TONY , The passion, wisdom, and side splitting laughter you give from a heart of GOD'S TRUTH AND GOD'S LOVE FOR ALL HUMANITY IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING..
You are a blessing my brother in christ. Thank you for sharing, caring, and making me laugh so hard I almost wet myself. Sorry . Not trying to be disrespectful. Laughter is medicine for my soul. You give me my daily medicine and blessing. Thank you. God bless you & your family. They are soooooo blessed to have a GROWN man like you to guide them and love them the way you do. I'm about to cry now. Thank you soooooo much Mr. Tony
Tony is speaking the truth! Thirty three years ago, my friend and her 5 year old son was murdered by a man she was dating, as they walked home. It still haunts me today. Do not play with the one life God has given you!🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
Sorry for your loss sis
We are sending the men to Tony 😂 if they want us back they need to pass the tony gaskin test! #truth
Thank you I was clapping my hands when you said, you don't get to say any ill will toward the Queen you will be blocked. That's how it should be. Awesome!
Thank God for your words. The Bible also says What's Done in the Dark will eventually come to the light oh, so these men that cheat think they're going to get away eventually it will come and hit them in the face
"Do not take this lightly." Real talk!
I remember the first time my ex put his hands on me..... He grabbed me and then grabbed me by my neck and rammed my head into the floor which was hardwood. And I stayed after that. And then in other events it went onto his mom showing up to my house and also putting her hands on me and Then another time his sister and mom showed up at my house and fought me and I had to get a restraining order against them both. And i stayed with him after all that ..... Because I thought he loved me thinking he just made a mistake and his family was mad that there's was another woman in his life. And his family disrespected me countless times because I guess they felt I was taking him away. And I wouldn't let his mom talk to me any kind of way and she VERY disrespectful and ratchet. For almost 3 years I stayed. He broke up with me and went back to his baby mama. I was so stuck after this breakup because I felt like everything I went through was in vain. And because he left me I was literally so crushed and still dealing with it because that's not even half of what I've been through. I thought being treated badly meant he loved me. And I was stuck on the fact that he wasn't always that way. So right now I'm healing because I shouldn't want somebody like that back in my life. So I have to love myself More
Beautiful keep pushing through. You have been through alot and you made it through. You made it. You are better. You are becoming better. If anyone hasn't told you, you are strong
We all fall short. Get strong and moving forward watch how you allow people to treat you. If they see that you're accepting mistreatment from anyone, they will try you too. Soul ties are strong but God will break it if you trust him to do it.
Keep moving forward, love yourself. Failure is not final.
This is the worst but also the best experience for you because you're going to be able to screen the people who you let into your life in future. The fact that you are here getting this kind of knowledge and doing the healing work just gos to show how incredible you are, some people unfortunately stay broken and bitter. You can take your experience to help other women learn about self love and self respect, most of us haven't learnt it whilst young so don't even know about or implement it. But that's part of the healing process.
As part of God's work you could even help women in a domestic abuse shelter or it doesn't even have to be hands on, you can put videos out on TH-cam, or just have that chat to the woman in the shop who's self esteem's on the floor and give her words of encouragement and upliftment. You can learn to forgive your ex and his family ( not for them, for you) by thanking them for teaching you a lesson to work on yourself through a nurturing attitude towards yourself. So glad that you're here, learning and growing yourself. The most important lesson we can learn from these situations is about how we show up for ourselves. I wish you the best of luck and lots of love now and for your furure. Well done you for leaving them behind. Just remember often times abusers have been the abused at some point so instead of hate we can feel pity and compassion for them! But never have to take abuse again. Much love xxxxxxxx
Wow! I am so glad you moved on from this! You are so precious sis and God will send you someone who will not hurt you! Sending you love and encouragement!!!!
Tony, I almost gave up on your videos. Not because of you, but because I realized i am no where near ready for a relationship, and I prob won't be for the next 10 years. But something made me click on this video and I'm so grateful because I needed to hear you share the testimony of that lady who was sexually abused then became successful. As a survivor of sexual abuse, people don't understand the pain. They tell me to just get over it, but it's not easy. Imagine having someone break into your house and you no longer feel safe/comfortable in that house, that's how I feel in my BODY. This is my only human experience on this earth and it was tainted with perversion, and for that I contemplate suicide everyday. I'm in therapy, taking pills, and I will be for the rest of my life. But hearing you share that testimony gave me some hope.
This is so true and real! Sometimes you have to recognize why we as women tolerate the behavior and why the men mistreat the woman they say they love. You have to realize when you’re a human teddy bear! I totally went through this very thing with my ex of 3.5 years.
It easy to achieved but learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all ❤️
Physical, emotional and verbal abuse I'm leaving. When a person show you heir true colors believe them.
I purchased A Womans Influence today, looking forward to reading.
I am a very educated woman/PhD level. Your videos are spot on. I wish women would RAISE their standards and stop taking breadcrumbs from men. Men could try all the nonsense they want but if women take them back 90% of the time, it does them no good. LADIES, RAISE YOUR STANDARDS & KICK HIS BUTT TO THE CURB WHEN NEEDED & DON'T TAKE HIM BACK. YOU ARE STRONG & FINE BY YOURSELF. I was shocked that the take back rate was 90%
I personaly think men recpect very will educated woman like you as they know well educated woman wont take no shitt and will walk away if they miss behavie
@Trinity BMS Perhaps my comment came across the wrong way. Yes, I agree, you are correct. I mentioned my education level because I should have said based on my education, everything that Tony is saying is correct. I am well versed on this topic and Tony is giving good advice and good information.
Tony, this was SPOT on. Thank you. I am a survivor of DV. What you said is the truth. Bless you, for telling women & some men what no one talks about until after the fact.
My ex husband strangled me , while spitting in my face and calling me a B. All this on my birthday. That is hate
I hope u left n ok nobody should be treated like a animal
I’m am so sorry that happened to you 😔..I hope things are better now for you
I can’t believe I tolerated this… the abuse the lies the on and off back and forth disrespect down talking multiple women. I was 17 It took me 10 1/2 years to wake up cause I wanted believe he would change.: I love myself completely NOW ! I had to start loving me MORE & letting what’s not for me go . I realized my WORTH & VAULE . He tried to break me cause he was broken. . Ladies plz never tolerate leave immediately!!! It only gets worse 💯Putting me first Always thank you 🙏🏼
Been binge watching the videos since yesterday. God is using you to give knowkedge.
Me too. It's so easy to binge watch Tony
You are so funny! The “Genie in a bottle,” and the Football Team comments had me cracking up! 😂😂😂😏😂😂
Emotional & verbal abuse are Deal Breakers!!!!! Never Ever again !!!..it really messed me up , Thank God I left 3 years ago🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
One day I will share my full story... but if someone would’ve told me you’d end up staying in a abusive relationship for 5 years, I would’ve said you’re crazy and I don’t believe you! Insecurities is not to be played with! Check yourself early and be extremely careful what you tell yourself, especially when your friends are getting married and having children and everyone’s asking you why aren’t you married!!! I remember one woman in the church told me ‘I’m such a waste”. She couldn’t understand at aged 24/25yrs old why I wasn’t married. All these seeds grew bigger in my head and I didn’t actually realise. I was always positive to people but mentally I didn’t love myself. After awhile I’m looking for love and the devil man found me. I actually felt sorry for him (he went through abuse himself). He actually use to hit himself in the head during arguments to shut me up. It took the third incident after having my 6 week old baby to finally leave! Self care and self love must be the priority!! No man is worth your peace!
Abuse is never ok.
Reporting to class!
This hit me right in the face... I am married to someone who says he love me but shows me different I am getting ready to leave him alone thou and now he’s sad but he’s still having a lot of issues no changes
Don't tell him your leaving. Just go an block him from all social media an let close friends an family no that you not with him anymore so that way when he tries to act friendly with your family an friend they already no not to give him any info on you whereabouts
@@softersideofc.c.5655 so True C.C
Believe what he is SHOWING YOU!!!!! FACTS …… 💕
Not the ultimate feast 🤣😂 I'm sorry Tony. This is a, serious matter for sure. Thank God I've never experienced putting on of hands. But definitely emotional. Thank you for shedding more light on this epidemic. Too many women settle for less than deserved.
3x’s he cheated with the same woman & they still have a friendship relationship that he justified I don’t want her. I was blind because I loved him, but what I didn’t realize was my self worth & love of myself was being ignored to satisfy me just wanting to be a person in his life he never had, but he didn’t appreciate me enough to stop himself ever. I finally after 4 years decided I love me & I’m worth not being cheated on. Thank you Tony through listening to your videos I regained my self worth & love & wont tolerate what he was trying to offer me.
I think your very wise and payed attention to behavior. Someone raised you well; well versed, compassionate and empathetic. Wonderful.