They should teach this is high school health class. It's a crime to not tell the whole world exactly what women might have to face if they decide to get pregnant and have a vaginal birth. This should be general knowledge.
I was crippled giving birth due to the consultant refusing the doctor's advice of giving me a caesarean as I'm so small and my baby was big. My pelvis was pulled right up to my hips and I was torn very badly and lost lots of blood. The doctors and nurses wouldn't believe I couldn't walk, so they kept trying to make me stand up and I would fall on the floor screaming in agony. They pushed me in the a shower crying and shouting for help as I lay on the floor screaming in pain. Then the consultant came two days later and realised straight away what had happened to me, so he sent me for x-rays which showed my pelvis had come up to my hips. This was 29 years ago and I have been disabled and in agony ever since. I'm still immensely grateful I have my son, but I wish I could have done more with him. I never got a penny compensation and I was a photographer but had to give me career up.
Ife Uchime Well I’ve never wanted kids so this didn’t really faze me. But, if you really wanted a child, why go through all this trouble, destroying yourself in the process when you could instead save a child from the terrible foster/adoption system.
Amen. My episiotomy cut hasn't messed up my life but forceps anyway feel like they are pulling you and your baby off the bed and like you'll fall on the floor. Traumatising, do not recommend.
I relate to Jenny so much. I had a child when I was 20. Pregnancy and childbirth traumatized me and It happened during the time my mother died of a brain tumor and my family disowned me. Long story of suicidal depression and anxiety, years , but the baby's dad kept custody and I moved on with my life, healthyly several years later . I am now married 33 years old and I never had or will have another child again. Not ever .
How could you moved on , what happened to those 9 month that baby wa inside of you , I dont understand how "mothers" can NoT growth mother feeling smh I have two children one with c section one natural and I love both of my kids with my life , and I also had tear up and I'm fine please !!!
I’m so sorry that this happened to you. I would never judge you for your situation and anyone that does is very heartless. I was only 18 when I had my first baby and no one even mentioned that this could happen. They had to do an episiotomy and a vacuum extractor to get him out but thankfully I didn’t tear but it was still very scary. My little baby boy had a big hamburger like bruise on his head but he was fine and is now 30 years old and about to be a Daddy for the 3rd time. Plus I had 2 other children without compilations. I feel so bad for what you went through. I think Doctors are too quick to do induce with Pitocin rather than just letting nature take its course and every woman should go through Lamaz classes so that they know when to pant as the head moves down the birth canal.
I'm so glad women are starting to speak up about things like this. Before it was always you were supposed to be just so ecstatic cause you had a wonderful healthy baby and nothing else mattered. Of course that's very important but when I woman has a child she puts her body through so much, so much more than a man will ever understand. What's worse is even in western society and sometimes more so even, the focus is mainly on the baby and not the mother and women really are just treated like vessels often and not given proper bodily autonomy during childbirth. Poor Debbie . I was broody recently after being always adamant I was childfree by choice. Thankfully my desire for a baby seems to have died down. For me so many things ,this being another to add to my list, it's just not worth it.
You're right, it's not worth it. If only I'd realised this before I got pregnant at 17. The trouble is that no one told me just how bad it could be. There's a conspiracy of silence around childbirth.
@@ashsqx3246 ugh a karen. Its sad that women suffer in silence. So I want a kid but I am not allowed to speak up or suffer just because I chose to bring life to earth. Come on.
The most concerning part of this video was that midwives are suturing tears- surely this should be done by surgeons/obstetricians?? Do we really care so little about women?
Because of the unknown level of injury, you're risking prior to a vaginal birth I would opt for an elective c section. I'd rather have a scar on my stomach than to suffer long term injury to my pelvic floor. I'm too active for that plus natural birth looks seems a horrific experience even if you don't end up injured, a long drawn out torture.
I agree! But what about that we can’t make our own choice for c section, it is only in emergency cases🥺 I’m living in Ireland and here womens can’t choice for c section, only in emergency. I’m so small and I’m even considering going to my country to give a birth
Trust me it isn't as desirable as you might think. I had a c-section and when I woke up the pain was horrendous. The post-op pain was worse than the labor pains and it became so hard to walk. Because of being cut open I couldn't stand up straight by myself for weeks. To this day I still don't have any feeling from the bottom half of my abdomen to the top of my groin
After I got the urge to push, any and ALL pain stopped. I couldn't believe it. If I knew it was going to be like that, I would have had natural childbirth.
I had an emergency c section after 13 hours of labor. I was so happy when they came in and delivered the news. i did not want to tear or have my vag hang out so im very happy with my c section and 3 hours after it i was walking down to the gift shop at the hospital. I plan on having a planned c section next baby
As a midwife this is heartbreaking, as it says quite clearly, we are failing our women. Collectively education is needed, of women, their rights, and midwives and doctors. As a midwife who trained years ago, I was always taught a hands on approach to support the birth of the head, to encourage mothers to pant when the baby’s head is on the perineum, and guide the baby’s body out slowly. Of course, we cannot always control birth, there are other factors to consider as well, for example a compound presentation when baby’s hand comes with he head, assisted births or panic stricken and traumatised mothers, to name a few. I was mortified when I emigrated, and criticised as well, for this approach, and now it’s back “ in fashion”. Education is the tool!
@@almostparadise123 Studies have shown that, more often than not, midwives are taught their "craft" in the dark, wooded outskirts of small towns and villages, away from contemporary medicinal practices. You should be wary of their services, as they are known to not only steal infants, but even more horrifyingly, the babies are often used in ritualistic sacrifices soon afterward.
@@suseq949 I think that also depends on cultural values. What’s interesting is how tribal customs support birthing women. The very tribes we call primitive are the ones that rally around their women and support them
I had no idea there were leveling degrees of tears during childbirth. How were these woman informed on the degree of their tear? I just remember hearing my nurse and doctor say (to each other from what I thought, especially with all that was happening at that moment) that I had a little tear and he had to put in a few stitches. That was the one and only time mentioned though, no level to the degree in my tear was ever mentioned.
And to think that they are trying to make abortion illegal again is maddening! Imagine being a child who is raped and then to go through a traumatic birth with the potential for lifelong complications. That’s why woman must have the choice to do what she feels is right for her. I sure hope that they still do Lamaze Classes and talk about the potential for these complications. A woman should also be very informed on who she will have for a Doctor. Too many Doctors want to speed things up with inductions rather than let nature take its course. Pitocin can through you in to sudden hard labor with no time for the natural hormones that help with the relaxation of the vaginal muscles and can also make you push the head out too fast without allowing for a gradual stretching of the labia and perineum. Women really must go through so much in life that it’s a wonder any of us ever go on to have sex or more children ever again !
Sick how women's life is disregarded so blatantly. All they care about is having more taxpayers, wage slaves and war pawns, who cares if the women's quality of life is gone or if the kid end up in orphanage. Im so sick of the world exploiting us over and over again so I rather go childfree. I ain't bringing a life here just to suffer the same thing
I keep being told online by woman that they would never go for a C-section. Not if there is no medical reason but I’m scared of the outcomes that could arise from natural birth
I had baby fever for weeks and this completely changed my mind... yeah the pregnancy can be okay but child birth can cause so many problems even death and I’m just not seeing it as worth it tbh :/
Thats just because of the interfearing. Read Ina Mays book an remember not to push,let the baby slidr out gently. Dont be childles because of bad people. I gave birth 7 mo ago, tore because of rupturing of waters by doctors. wish i stayed home
Vaginal birth fam is saying they would've opted for c-sec if only they knew it was going to be this horrible...c-sec ladies are saying they'd prefer tearing their genitals over the horrendous pain of c-sec surgery.. there really is no winning😭 why play this losing game🤷🏻♀️ welcome me to the no- baby sisterhood🙌
I suggest everyone to read this post by someone who work in labour and delivery titled "I fundamentally do not believe pregnancy is safe" on TwoXChromosome subs where she wrote all the horrible experience she saw while assisting birth. All women should read it. It's horrifying how stories like these are never taught in schools or talked about in society cus the government and all the other countries' government would never want us women to know about it as they need more taxpayers and wage slaves. Bad enough women aren't given healthcare treatment we deserve but deliberately keeping info like these is even worst.
I know how that is...constantly trying to do Kegals ect..it makes yoj feel loose and like your a broken woman. The Dr should have cut me..but let me tear from my cervix all the way to the out side labia! 15 stitches.
These techniques seem to be so ordinary and obvious. Are obgyns just learning this when it is one of the oldest professions??? I find it so hard to understand
I hate to say, but I think it’s because women don’t matter to so many. Even though women matter and are the backbone to families. And even a woman, alone, single no children, matters.
I’m currently healing from a 2nd degree perineal tear, along with two other tears. My labia minora got sheared off when baby came out and it got sewn back on (it was hanging in by a piece of skin) and another superficial tear by my clitoris. I do want another child, but I’m scared of my 2nd degree tearing again. I hope I can opt for a c section this time.
Omg, I’m so sorry. If you do try to constantly stretch and sit on the exercise ball and rock and roll your hips all the way up to delivery. Also, perineal massage at 34 weeks until delivery. I did these things and I didn’t tear. All my babies were considered large babies but I think what helped me was my long labors , which gave my hairy time to stretch.
I tore the same my labia ripped into pieces and the stitches fell out the next day so they healed like thag long with pieces ripped out. I had such horrible birth trauma I’ve never had another baby. 15 years later I’m pregnant. I am so so terries to give birth again. This time going with a midwife and trying to educate myself as much as possible to prepare
@@Lydiajean1313 I had a second degree tear with my first child birth. The skin tore another 1 cm 3 days later, but eventually I healed. Two years later, I had my second child, but I only had a tiny tear on my labia and some grazes. The second time around really is easier. Also, and I didn't do this myself, but perineal massage is proven to help prevent tearing.
So so sad a new a neighbor who had this.. Word of caution too ladies with diabetes.. Its more serious and difficult.. You must be super hygienic, prepared ahead of time and have an emergency plan..b.. God Bless all women who are about too give birth..and heal them fast..
I’m sorry to hear this. May I ask if you had an induced labor? Or in your opinion what could have been done to lead to a different outcome? I’m currently pregnant and I am trying to learn as much as I can
I had my daughter when I was 22, and I had a Cyrian doctor that delivered my baby. I had 2 doses of epidural and my nurses were arguing, and one disappeared causing me to miss my 3rd dose, which I wasn't as numbed as I could've been. I felt my tears and then my doctor stitched my tears up wrong, and he stitched my torn skin to my pee hole, causing me intense pain, and my stitches to become infected and irritated. I dreaded when I had to use the bathroom. I was uncomfortable no matter how I walked, sat, coughed and lied down. My perineal area was constantly hurting. I called my nurse telling her I felt terrible and she told me to come in so they could examine my stitches, and the other doctor apologized for the previous doctor's mistakes, and he had to fix my stitches.Tearing as much as I did was painful but I don't feel regret or depression behind it. I've never felt any kind of way.
Such brave women who share their stories and experiences in this documentary. I really feel sad for them this had happened to them. This year I got an elective c-section in the Netherlands. This is very uncommon in the Netherlands. I had to fight for it, but was listened to fortunately. Both my son and I came out fine. My pelvic floor feels like it did before my pregnancy. Hopefully there will be more discussion about both ways of delivery. C-sections are somehow always set away as more scary or dangerous (or longer recovery time). I wonder if that's really the case.
Those Dutch doctors are criminal. Wouldn't trust any of them with their forced vaginal births. They are not objective. Many times there are secondary intentions.
I have birthed four children, the first three with vaginal cut by doctor. My fourth came too fast and the doctor could do nothing except catch my son. He was very upset with the nurses because he said I tore and he had a lot of repair work. However, I found the opposite to be true for me. I was in my twenties with my first three and after a long break had my fourth at age 35. After my first three, sex was sometimes painful and I ALWAYS felt tender where I had been cut, it never felt normal. After tearing and healing from my fourth birth all of the pain and tenderness was gone completely. I was in SHOCK because I had always been told that ripping was bad. Not for me, Thank God it was my last child when I tore. By the way, three different doctors for the four deliveries, same dad for all. Just saying that many women have an easier time if they are not cut and tear instead. True for me and others I know who have chosen not to be cut during delivery.
Traci Waltman I had a 3 degree tear with my first baby. I tear with all 3 of my babies but the first one was the worst. Sex was painful after 12 weeks. But I went to my OB and told her about my pain. It was is bad that we couldn’t have sex. My OB prescribed a cream. I can’t remember the name now. It’s been 9 years. But the cream softens the area and did solve my problem. I don’t remember what my OB told me what the problem was. With my other 2 kids I had not problem afterwards. Oh and my first baby was only 6 lbs 9 oz so she wants small! And I was 32 years old and the same OB delivered all 3.
I tore while giving birth to my first born. He was two weeks early and a small 7 pounds. But I’m a small person. Only 4 feet 11” tall. I had soo many stitches and the nurses were so mean to me. Telling me to get up and walk. Told me to use water while I went to the bathroom, which I definitely did but it still burned and stung. Which of corse I was blamed for. I also after a week started bleeding really really badly, and I was told it was normal and to stop being a baby. Turned out I ruptured and had an infection. So I was on strong antibiotics for two whole weeks. It scared me so much I waited 5 years between my two children. Im now pregnant with my second child. She is two weeks late and I’m terrified of tearing again, because she is in there a lot longer then my son. So I’m worried she’s going to be 9lbs or bigger lol But tearing happens and us moms are gas lit about how we handle it I think is unfair and unjust.
Update. My second child was a girl! She was 8 pounds. I tore again. The doctor told me it was 3rd degree tare. But I healed much faster this time because he took his time to stitch me up. No infections, no heavy bleeding. And the staff was absolutely fantastic. My first time scared me so much, and my daughters birth was so peaceful. Nothing like the first.
When I had my first child I had an episiotomie and a second degree tear that were stitched incorrectly I suffered a lot post partum.. it's been four years..now I'm pregnant with my second..I want to ask about your both experiences of giving birth..were they medicated or physiological ?
@@zahramouad2252 both of my births were medicated. My sons birth ( my first ) was a shit show. No doctor was available so they had to call one in from out of town. Also, there was only one Anesthesiologist and he was busy. So for 14 hours he wasn’t available to give me an epidural. I was in agony. I was also given Pitocin so labour pain wasn’t a natural pain it was Synthetically induced. Ouch. 18 hours later my son was born. But he wasn’t breathing, so it took staff 7 minutes to get him to breathe on his own. My daughter was very different. She wasn’t early she was late. And I had an amazing Anesthesiologist who was there for me right away. And my doctor was in town, so he was able to deliver this time around. She was born within 9 hours of labour. And she had no complications.
Barnes Barnes same. He kept saying i shouldn't feel a thing as i had an epidural but the sucker had fallen out so i felt it all. He finally gave me a local.
Omg. That is ridiculous! Should be illegal. As in battery. How dare they? They need to have the same experience. Naked, legs spread, and a little cut in perineal area sutured without anesthetic! One of many cold, paternalistic a-hole doctors.
It's sad that women have to go through so much. I think i had a second degree tear. For me i sometimes have difficulty holding my urine. Before i could hold my urine now it's almost impossible. I had vaginal pain for about a year after i had my child. I am terrified of another child.
I had 3rd degree perineal tears during both my deliveries! Recovery was awful n still sometimes experience fecal incontinence 5 yrs later. I'm 33 right now n wasn't overweight when got pregnant.
Ladies always remember it’s not the tear itself that results in incontinence, it’s the resulting pain and weakened perineal muscle. Start pelvic floor pull ups and exercise as soon as possible after birth. See a physiotherapist if there is leakage and keep up with pain relief. Women don’t have to suffer unnecessarily
Moms are heros. I was always aware of the complications with birth and vaginal tear scared me the most. I am 35 and decided not to have children due to this. I feel like a have a phobia to give birth so I am not going to risk it. :(
I hope she keeps this video and shows it to her son if he becomes rebellious. He should know what his poor mom's body went through to bring him into this world!
Victoria Island That is terrible. I would not take that. I would make a playlist of women giving birth (I've got some real bad ones) and make her watch it. Then tell her "I went down hell's road to bring you into this world" show me some respect! I brought you into this world and I can taken you out!
I had an epidural and had a totally painless birth. I got a 2nd degree tear. Recovery was painful but in 5 weeks I was totally back to normal again, thankfully. I was TERRIFIED all my life to give birth. I can’t really even tolerate a Pap smear so I thought I could never have a baby. At times I even considered getting a c-section to avoid anything happening to my vagina! Now I’m so happy I didn’t! If your water breaks at home, like me, you’re lucky because you can immediately get an epidural. That way you don’t even have to feel the cervical checks or contractions! It was a great experience. The epidural didn’t hurt at all. I asked them to give me something for pain before my iv and epidural too.
I was 2cm dilated and already begging for painkillers, I was such a wimp😂 I was so scared because people told me that having a baby even with an epidural is excruciating..lol I was in labor for 16 hours and once I had my epidural, the whole process was completely painless. Pushing out a baby felt like taking a crap tbh
I ended up with a 2nd degree tear up left lip when I had my first child at age 19....was the worst pain ever. Took 6 weeks to heal. Still dealing with problems from it 4 years later. All my doctor has to tell me is do kegals. It hasn't helped. Sadly. Makes me nervous to have a 2nd child. The shit us woman go thru! 😢
Blue sky, gynecologists have no clue what to do with these kinds of issues. A lot of them don't even care, as long as your organs are intact. The only options I was given were surgery or pelvic physical therapy. My gynecologist also ignored most of the internal damage, and it ended up being officially diagnosed by a nurse he sent me to for IUD placement.
I have the same issue. I only tore 2 degree I say only because apparently that’s no if deal but here I am 2 years later and carrying my second child and still experiencing pain. I developed a hematoma shortly after labor, pelvic pain, lower back pain it’s awful. It took 15 months post partum for me to get a referral for Pelvic Therapy. They need to do more. I’m having a c-section this time.
Pelvic therapy has been amazingly helpful and I highly recommend it. I am in less pain now both internally and externally. Sex is actually enjoyable, and I didn't think that would be possible. I did not give specifics before, but the right portion of my labia and clitoris were torn as well as additional second degree tearing. The PT told me I had extensive muscle and nerve damage, particularly in the fascia of the clitoral hood, as well as a good deal of scar tissue.
I had a 4 degree tear and healed very quickly with no complications, my doctor kept telling me how lucky I am to be such a good healer, since it was my first and I didn’t do any research on tears I thought he was over exaggerating but holy cow these poor women.
I got a 3rd degree tear. I was pretty traumatized by it but healed pretty quickly. Just found out I'm expecting again so I am a little scared. Did you give birth again?
Nonnonbutlove No I haven’t but I want another one, from what iv heard from other women they have very little to no tearing with the second birth, even if they have had a 3rd or 4th degree tear with their first. I’m glad you heal quickly to. I hope all goes well with your second pregnancy and congrats!!
i had a third degree 2 years ago and due with my 2nd in September, the healing was fine and no problems with incontinence luckily, so ive declined a C section and hoping for the best, i had a water birth and a 2 hour labour which can be 1 (apparently) of the causes, my body was not given enough time to prepare and stretch! im going to try perinea massage and BREATH through the contractions until baby and body is ready! fingers crossed!
Don't get the triage ladies, I swear it accidentally broke my water, putting me on the induction timeline and leading to the dreaded forceps because I couldn't push . My uterus was knackered from augmented contractions and the epidural made me too numb to feel what I was doing, couldn't move into pushing positions where gravity could help either . Don't let em poke you, it's unnecessary. And tell them they can c-section the baby out if it's in distress, which will be easier if you haven't pushed the baby half way down the birth canal.
I’m SO happy you guys covered this news story !! It needs to be talked about A LOT MORE. 👏🏽💯 Women are GREATLY & DEEPLY affected by episiotomies and tears !! To deliver such a beautiful thing as a baby, all the attention goes to them. And it should. But MOMS MATTER TOO !! To be a mother, and have to handle everything and not be getting the proper treatment, care and time to recover is absolutely terrifying and crazy & absolutely not ok. I feel so sorry for the women In this video and god bless them and I hope they can get the help they need. I’ve personally had an episiotomy, and then the 2nd time a tear that did not heal properly and couldn’t be re stitched so I developed a lot of SCAR TISSUE and had pain for YEARS until I had to get a perineal repair. Even that separated a bit at the top & once again I couldn’t get stitches to help so now I’m just healing. This effects everything ! I hope this absolutely DOES get more awareness & I’ll be bringing more to it also on my 2nd channel Life With Shai Shai VERY soon !! 💯🎬 God bless all mothers who have dealt/are dealing with this now. Speak up and ALWAYS BE YOUR OWN ADVOCATE ! And don’t be afraid to get corrective surgery if need be ! YOU MATTER TOO !! 👏🏽💯
@@한-s3g higher risk of what? The risk of tearing while giving birth is more than 90%, the risk of vaginal tearing during a caesarean is 0%. In what way is the risk higher in a caesarean?
@@grapeypear4558 Not true, nothing of this has ever been proven. Stop trying to scare women, I had a c-section and never regretted it. I have a fully functional pelvic, and can go jogging, I never lose urine.
Yeah you guys honestly I commented that when I was very early on in my (first) pregnancy and though I still think some of it could have truth in it, I no longer agree with the way I said it. I myself was born via c section and I think a lot of my fear surrounding my own birth trauma was coming out in that comment. Now that I’ve given birth myself I’m much more humbled, and though I had a vaginal birth I would have been thankful to have a c section if I’d have needed one of course. I’m honestly sorry for speaking that way about something like this. It’s unfair to us all. So I deleted. Just feel very differently now.
@@grapeypear4558 That is so thoughtful and sweet of you. You seem to be a very decent human being and definitely make a great mom. Thanks for your comment.
Agreed. WTF? Women are amazing. How we’ve survived and thrived despite 200 hundred years of male dominated gynecological and obstetric abuse and violence and dismissive attitudes towards women. Doctors and midwives, do not get into this profession if you are cold and don’t give a crap. You must be a perfectionist when repairing tears and episiotomies. My blood boils every time I hear these stories.
No it’s laughable that they’re talking about “new techniques” and trying them out at a few hospitals. There is so much knowledge that has been lost to us! There are people out there who still know it. Birth was the domain of women and midwives and partners, done in their homes in freedom and comfort. Hospitals are for the sick and hurt, why do we go there to give birth?
I had a small tear, which was inconsequential. I would have been devastated to have torn right through to the rectum. Is this a problem with women giving birth on their backs? Some women in parts of Asia give birth whilst working in the fields...
It does have a lot to do with the position...as well as overall health and pelvic floor health. Birthing on ones back (worst position to birth in) and having medication which makes the women unable to feel here body and work with it and her baby also play a part. There is also the use of other interventions such as forceps/vacuum/episiotomy. When the process is left undisturbed you and baby are better off. Families really need to educate themselves on the physiological process well before birth. When left to listen to your body and baby you may still tear but our bodies are made for this and heal.
Pinwheel ART again not really, positioning was squatting, no medication, home birth, 6 hour labor, health pelvic floor as I was 20 at the time and no interventions
Arielle Faherty, I didn't say it doesn't happen (Age doesn't mean you are healthy or have a healthy pelvic floor). It is extremely unlikely to happen to that extreme with a healthy women in an undisturbed birth. What I said still stands and is accurate.
Pinwheel ART I know many women who had undisturbed midwife births and it still happened. Your information is accurate for 90 percent of low risk births but not for any other birth. The thing that really drives me crazy is everyone assumes the information is a blanket that covers all births and it is not. There is not enough research around severe tears to justify your words and trust me I've spent the last 16 months looking for it.
I had this for my first delivery.... The horrible thing is u can't sit and feed the newborn. And the first potty after birth was hell. It took 40 days for me to completely sit and feed my son 😢
If someone tells you it's all in your head keep going to different doctors. Go to a urologist. Find someone. I'd tell that doctor off too. Tell them they are too lazy to do anything for their patients and tell them u will do a video about your visit. They listen then
Elective c section December 2023. Planned. No rush. Scheduled earlier than vaginal birth. As for intimacy, everything tightens and is the same as it was before, so i feel even more confident sexually now. Easy, fast, and temporary recovery honestly, idk why yall think vaginal is easier when vaginal delivery inevitably leads to incontinence at the least which cannot be fixed by surgeries bc they just dont hold up. I researched how to recover properly from a C section, and you cant even see the scar, i have scars on my knees from childhood that are much more visible.
I had c section 10 years ago, recovery was tough but I was comfortable after two weeks. I would agree with feelings down there. It felt the same. I didn’t rip anything, it’s normal, it’s tight. No damage to vaginal wall I’m good.. and now I’m pregnant again 10 years later and I’m defy doing it again
@@mayathompson727 don't even get me started on breastfeeding, I won't do it. Strictly formula. Breastfeeding depresses women, causes weight gain, loss of libido, slower recovery, hurts terribly, women get no rest, it makes your breasts ugly, and on top of it all you have to manually give your baby vitamin D drops because breastfeeding doesnt have vitamin D...and they have the audacity to say it's best? And the flat out LYING saying that "pregnancy causes changes in breasts, not breastfeeding" THATS A LIE!!!!
@@Unavailable669 I agree. I just had so much milk so I didn’t have a choice but I got post partum depression after breastfeeding. I felt so exhausted and yes it will drain your boobs after lol. Mine came back to 34b but it looks smaller for sure.. and your nipples oh help me God.
If i was told my baby was too big for me to deliver on my own id opt for a csec but personally if my baby was okay to come out with minimal tearing id go for that. Ive had a csec and its not something you would want to opt just because it seems easier because its not. My csec was traumatizing and the healing process is hell.... its not for the faint. Ive had a VBac as well and only had minimal tearing definitely had a better experience
The kid doesnt need therapy. He needs better discipline. If mom needs a shower or a bag change, he needs to wait or do something for himself like get the peanut butter out of the drawer, or whatever. He cant have a tantrum bc his mom is busy. That's life.
I had a fourth degree tear with my second son and I am thankful my baby did not die. I tore, it was mended, I will live with it forever, who cares? Not me. My son was healthy and alive, that is all I wanted. My first son died. If had torn in half the first time but he lived, I would still be thankful. My babies lives are all that matter to me.
I had my first 3 babies in the 70's..... Episiotomies we're pretty routine then- I had them with all three babies ( second baby was born feet first) and yes, had him vaginally! - never really had a problem with the cuts- took about 1 week to not have pain - I had a peri bottle that I would fill with warm water- after going to bathroom you squeeze the warm water on the area- could also use a sitz bath ( I never did though) my oldest daughter had episiotomies with her 2 daughters- ( after discussing it with me) she told me she was so glad she did after hearing horror stories of terrible tears some women got- my niece tore horribly and had to have reconstructive surgery 3 months after the birth of her 3rd child- but my younger daughter had 2 boys, ( big babies too) and didn't have an episiotomy or tear - so you never really know! Everyone is different- but I still think it's better to have a controlled cut than a tear that can go anywhere and do so much damage .....
I dont understand why more women are not having c-section..? I am not trying to be cold toward the women in the video..! I am just talking in general. I am having a c-section myself.
Episiotomy is also used in the UK, but not routinely as a tear heals easier and quicker than a cut. An episiotomy should only be performed if a tear is inevitable (e.g. the baby’s head is large)
@@zoeee4939 Shoot in the United States, that's all they do. It took me three months to heal up with my last. The doctors say that if it tears, it's harder to sew back up. I think they do it to speed up the delivery. With my first, the doctor had the nurse to press hard on my abdomen to force the baby down the birth canal and then used forceps to yank on my daughter's head hard three times. I thought he was going to break her neck. Thankfully she was ok. But years later he was sued by the parents of a newborn he severely injured.
i have strong pelvic floor. i was first degree tear at the bottom of my vagina and also up where the urethra is. I'm healing at the moment 2 weeks now. baby came out in 14 min. people think i had her c section because her head came out perfect haha. My mom said I shot her out, doctor didn't pull her out.of my vagina. lol
I dont understand why we need to educate women when they are pregnant if they want to research different tears, they can there is so much information out there you just have to look
@@MisstressMourtisha I think it should be a crime, I read somewhere that giving birth on all four or squatting is the most natural way to give birth and laying flat down while giving birth is one of the worst ways because squatting or kneeling helps gravity do most of the “pushing”
I do not understand why it can be traumatic for so long. Sure it will traumatize u for the first few weeks or months, but for years? I'm sorry I cannot get it when u already probably knew childbirth is very painful and had prepared for it for 9 months, and when it happened, u did not expect that to be too painful. I had my eldest when i was 19yo, had a very painful and abrupt tear when her head came out, and even the doctor incised the other opposite side just to aid the baby in coming out. I was stiched though. Five years later i had my second child, and the tear even went beside my clitoris. Stitched very painfully and suffered at least 2 months down there before it completely healed. It is very common in the Philippines. We even joke around that if u did not tear on your first, then u must have big opening. I'm sorry for those women who cannot move on from a tear. But to them i say that u must feel the happiness of motherhood after a delivery, not the pain. Tear is very common, and it is not a bad thing! If u think it will have an effect on sexual intercourse, i doubt it has, especially it IS your own husband u make love with, or if the person you are with now knows your past.
I can't move on from it because the tear still hurts every day. What is not to understand? A little tear is normal. Tearing your SPHINCTER is not normal and is usually the result of poor guidance and even malpractice with delivery. Sorry you have such bad standards of care in the Philippines.
😮 i have to thank the midwifes in my erea who educated me about giving birth i am curios and like to know what is happening so i never missed my lessons it helpt me during my child birth and being calm and collected as i had fear of londons hospitals being privet own partly ment i had to be more calm and collected so my kidneys couldnt get stolen during my child birth😂
They should teach this is high school health class. It's a crime to not tell the whole world exactly what women might have to face if they decide to get pregnant and have a vaginal birth. This should be general knowledge.
Yeah mothers should teach their daughters about this but it's like stigma and rather keep them ignorant of this
This is so sad. Medical treatment for women has not advanced enough.
lol
I was crippled giving birth due to the consultant refusing the doctor's advice of giving me a caesarean as I'm so small and my baby was big. My pelvis was pulled right up to my hips and I was torn very badly and lost lots of blood. The doctors and nurses wouldn't believe I couldn't walk, so they kept trying to make me stand up and I would fall on the floor screaming in agony. They pushed me in the a shower crying and shouting for help as I lay on the floor screaming in pain. Then the consultant came two days later and realised straight away what had happened to me, so he sent me for x-rays which showed my pelvis had come up to my hips. This was 29 years ago and I have been disabled and in agony ever since. I'm still immensely grateful I have my son, but I wish I could have done more with him. I never got a penny compensation and I was a photographer but had to give me career up.
Omg I'm so sorry how is your health now?
I hate doctors
So sorry
You should sue them. I find it disgusting how alot of Dr's will refuse a c section when you presented with these things.
Why the hell didn’t you sue. You should not be grateful for your son to cripple you. That shouldn’t have happened.
Horrific, dehumanizing, humiliating, disgusting, painful, life ruining. Just another reason I don't ever want to have kids.
And now I don't want kids anymore
Ife Uchime
Well I’ve never wanted kids so this didn’t really faze me.
But, if you really wanted a child, why go through all this trouble, destroying yourself in the process when you could instead save a child from the terrible foster/adoption system.
C section!!!!
Me either
Maybe water birth I hear good things about it
Same
Just to make it clear, most of these injuries were caused by the use of forceps. I looked into each case. DO NOT LET THEM USE FORCEPS ON YOU!!
Amen. My episiotomy cut hasn't messed up my life but forceps anyway feel like they are pulling you and your baby off the bed and like you'll fall on the floor. Traumatising, do not recommend.
I relate to Jenny so much. I had a child when I was 20. Pregnancy and childbirth traumatized me and It happened during the time my mother died of a brain tumor and my family disowned me. Long story of suicidal depression and anxiety, years , but the baby's dad kept custody and I moved on with my life, healthyly several years later . I am now married 33 years old and I never had or will have another child again. Not ever .
Sheesh
You should get counseling. Sounds like you were put thru the wringer. My mom had bad experiences during childbirth. Each time got worse
How could you moved on , what happened to those 9 month that baby wa inside of you , I dont understand how "mothers" can NoT growth mother feeling smh I have two children one with c section one natural and I love both of my kids with my life , and I also had tear up and I'm fine please !!!
I’m so sorry that this happened to you. I would never judge you for your situation and anyone that does is very heartless. I was only 18 when I had my first baby and no one even mentioned that this could happen. They had to do an episiotomy and a vacuum extractor to get him out but thankfully I didn’t tear but it was still very scary. My little baby boy had a big hamburger like bruise on his head but he was fine and is now 30 years old and about to be a Daddy for the 3rd time. Plus I had 2 other children without compilations. I feel so bad for what you went through. I think Doctors are too quick to do induce with Pitocin rather than just letting nature take its course and every woman should go through Lamaz classes so that they know when to pant as the head moves down the birth canal.
@@laberbisss0314 ur comment is incredibly sensitive.. your fortunate experience does not mean it will be the same for millions of other women.
I'm so glad women are starting to speak up about things like this. Before it was always you were supposed to be just so ecstatic cause you had a wonderful healthy baby and nothing else mattered. Of course that's very important but when I woman has a child she puts her body through so much, so much more than a man will ever understand. What's worse is even in western society and sometimes more so even, the focus is mainly on the baby and not the mother and women really are just treated like vessels often and not given proper bodily autonomy during childbirth. Poor Debbie . I was broody recently after being always adamant I was childfree by choice. Thankfully my desire for a baby seems to have died down. For me so many things ,this being another to add to my list, it's just not worth it.
You're right, it's not worth it. If only I'd realised this before I got pregnant at 17. The trouble is that no one told me just how bad it could be. There's a conspiracy of silence around childbirth.
That's so hard to deal with. It's sad. Women has to go through so much.
god is woman but only women have children
Not really. Women can choose to not have sx and not have children. I made that choice. Every woman can
@@ashsqx3246 ugh a karen. Its sad that women suffer in silence. So I want a kid but I am not allowed to speak up or suffer just because I chose to bring life to earth. Come on.
@@ashsqx3246 this is such an unintelligent comment
The most concerning part of this video was that midwives are suturing tears- surely this should be done by surgeons/obstetricians?? Do we really care so little about women?
Having a baby can really destroy your body.
Because of the unknown level of injury, you're risking prior to a vaginal birth I would opt for an elective c section. I'd rather have a scar on my stomach than to suffer long term injury to my pelvic floor. I'm too active for that plus natural birth looks seems a horrific experience even if you don't end up injured, a long drawn out torture.
I totally agree
C section absolutely
I agree! But what about that we can’t make our own choice for c section, it is only in emergency cases🥺 I’m living in Ireland and here womens can’t choice for c section, only in emergency. I’m so small and I’m even considering going to my country to give a birth
Trust me it isn't as desirable as you might think. I had a c-section and when I woke up the pain was horrendous. The post-op pain was worse than the labor pains and it became so hard to walk. Because of being cut open I couldn't stand up straight by myself for weeks. To this day I still don't have any feeling from the bottom half of my abdomen to the top of my groin
After I got the urge to push, any and ALL pain stopped. I couldn't believe it. If I knew it was going to be like that, I would have had natural childbirth.
I had an emergency c section after 13 hours of labor. I was so happy when they came in and delivered the news. i did not want to tear or have my vag hang out so im very happy with my c section and 3 hours after it i was walking down to the gift shop at the hospital. I plan on having a planned c section next baby
You had so much luck. I am ruined after giving birth
Omg ...poor, poor Debbie....my heart goes out to this lady.
As a midwife this is heartbreaking, as it says quite clearly, we are failing our women. Collectively education is needed, of women, their rights, and midwives and doctors. As a midwife who trained years ago, I was always taught a hands on approach to support the birth of the head, to encourage mothers to pant when the baby’s head is on the perineum, and guide the baby’s body out slowly. Of course, we cannot always control birth, there are other factors to consider as well, for example a compound presentation when baby’s hand comes with he head, assisted births or panic stricken and traumatised mothers, to name a few. I was mortified when I emigrated, and criticised as well, for this approach, and now it’s back “ in fashion”. Education is the tool!
I'm thinking I should have had a midwife myself. I suffered badly like Debbie many years ago
@@almostparadise123 Studies have shown that, more often than not, midwives are taught their "craft" in the dark, wooded outskirts of small towns and villages, away from contemporary medicinal practices. You should be wary of their services, as they are known to not only steal infants, but even more horrifyingly, the babies are often used in ritualistic sacrifices soon afterward.
Women have always been treated poorly especially during childbirth. Nasty nurses, midwives and doctors manhandling women consequences be dammed.
@@suseq949 I think that also depends on cultural values. What’s interesting is how tribal customs support birthing women. The very tribes we call primitive are the ones that rally around their women and support them
@@suseq949 So true! I experienced this myself, being treated like a piece of meat and having bitchy midwives snapping at me.
That sounds scary. Being torn. My aunt said she was torn. Sounds horrible :(
I had no idea there were leveling degrees of tears during childbirth. How were these woman informed on the degree of their tear? I just remember hearing my nurse and doctor say (to each other from what I thought, especially with all that was happening at that moment) that I had a little tear and he had to put in a few stitches. That was the one and only time mentioned though, no level to the degree in my tear was ever mentioned.
This is so upsetting I don’t want kids ever now 😢
It's okay for women to opt out of having kids
Feeling heart ache for these beautiful women
this is why i never had children. no regrets.
I'm glad I was sterilized.. not worth it
Too much risk.
And to think that they are trying to make abortion illegal again is maddening! Imagine being a child who is raped and then to go through a traumatic birth with the potential for lifelong complications. That’s why woman must have the choice to do what she feels is right for her. I sure hope that they still do Lamaze Classes and talk about the potential for these complications. A woman should also be very informed on who she will have for a Doctor. Too many Doctors want to speed things up with inductions rather than let nature take its course. Pitocin can through you in to sudden hard labor with no time for the natural hormones that help with the relaxation of the vaginal muscles and can also make you push the head out too fast without allowing for a gradual stretching of the labia and perineum. Women really must go through so much in life that it’s a wonder any of us ever go on to have sex or more children ever again !
100 percent. This is often what I think about when people say “just have the baby”. What if there are lifelong complications!
No apparently our bodies come second to giving life
Sick how women's life is disregarded so blatantly. All they care about is having more taxpayers, wage slaves and war pawns, who cares if the women's quality of life is gone or if the kid end up in orphanage. Im so sick of the world exploiting us over and over again so I rather go childfree. I ain't bringing a life here just to suffer the same thing
I keep being told online by woman that they would never go for a C-section. Not if there is no medical reason but I’m scared of the outcomes that could arise from natural birth
And you're right.
I had baby fever for weeks and this completely changed my mind... yeah the pregnancy can be okay but child birth can cause so many problems even death and I’m just not seeing it as worth it tbh :/
Thats just because of the interfearing. Read Ina Mays book an remember not to push,let the baby slidr out gently. Dont be childles because of bad people. I gave birth 7 mo ago, tore because of rupturing of waters by doctors. wish i stayed home
It’s not worth it.
Not bad people. Just wanting to be child free
Vaginal birth fam is saying they would've opted for c-sec if only they knew it was going to be this horrible...c-sec ladies are saying they'd prefer tearing their genitals over the horrendous pain of c-sec surgery.. there really is no winning😭 why play this losing game🤷🏻♀️ welcome me to the no- baby sisterhood🙌
I suggest everyone to read this post by someone who work in labour and delivery titled "I fundamentally do not believe pregnancy is safe" on TwoXChromosome subs where she wrote all the horrible experience she saw while assisting birth. All women should read it. It's horrifying how stories like these are never taught in schools or talked about in society cus the government and all the other countries' government would never want us women to know about it as they need more taxpayers and wage slaves. Bad enough women aren't given healthcare treatment we deserve but deliberately keeping info like these is even worst.
Omg don't think I wanna have a baby
Please adopt, there are many children who need you and you can keep your body intact!
Than don't have kid it's up to your body
Caesareans.
Thank you. Documentaries like this are important
It is traumatic, this is definitely true
I tore all the way, and now my pelvic floor is basically non existant.
I know how that is...constantly trying to do Kegals ect..it makes yoj feel loose and like your a broken woman. The Dr should have cut me..but let me tear from my cervix all the way to the out side labia! 15 stitches.
EIGHTY FIVE PERCENT LOLOL WTF and they still want us to WANT kids …
Good lord don't women have to suffer enough traumas? 😢
Thank you for sharing these feelings with us, I almost cried 😢 I hope you can recover soon
These techniques seem to be so ordinary and obvious. Are obgyns just learning this when it is one of the oldest professions???
I find it so hard to understand
I hate to say, but I think it’s because women don’t matter to so many. Even though women matter and are the backbone to families. And even a woman, alone, single no children, matters.
I’m currently healing from a 2nd degree perineal tear, along with two other tears. My labia minora got sheared off when baby came out and it got sewn back on (it was hanging in by a piece of skin) and another superficial tear by my clitoris. I do want another child, but I’m scared of my 2nd degree tearing again. I hope I can opt for a c section this time.
Omg, I’m so sorry. If you do try to constantly stretch and sit on the exercise ball and rock and roll your hips all the way up to delivery. Also, perineal massage at 34 weeks until delivery. I did these things and I didn’t tear. All my babies were considered large babies but I think what helped me was my long labors , which gave my hairy time to stretch.
I tore the same my labia ripped into pieces and the stitches fell out the next day so they healed like thag long with pieces ripped out. I had such horrible birth trauma I’ve never had another baby. 15 years later I’m pregnant. I am so so terries to give birth again. This time going with a midwife and trying to educate myself as much as possible to prepare
@@saphire9823 I'm pregnant again too. Not sure what I should do differently to prevent so many tears this time besides stretching and using the ball 🤕
@@saphire9823 ypu will be ok,just dont push when they say, or at all. Let the baby slide out gently
@@Lydiajean1313 I had a second degree tear with my first child birth. The skin tore another 1 cm 3 days later, but eventually I healed. Two years later, I had my second child, but I only had a tiny tear on my labia and some grazes. The second time around really is easier. Also, and I didn't do this myself, but perineal massage is proven to help prevent tearing.
So so sad a new a neighbor who had this.. Word of caution too ladies with diabetes.. Its more serious and difficult.. You must be super hygienic, prepared ahead of time and have an emergency plan..b.. God Bless all women who are about too give birth..and heal them fast..
I had an episiotomy.
I have never got over the pain
And suffering.
I have had prolapse rectum and bladder.
I had terrible midwives.
Traumatised
I'm so sorry.
@@vegasvoss2670 thank you so much
Me too. Gave birth a few months ago, prolapse is what killed my spirit. I wish you well
Sorry to hear😣 I'm can relate to Debbie the first one. Its bad , I got scared of needing "the bag"
I’m sorry to hear this. May I ask if you had an induced labor? Or in your opinion what could have been done to lead to a different outcome? I’m currently pregnant and I am trying to learn as much as I can
I had my daughter when I was 22, and I had a Cyrian doctor that delivered my baby. I had 2 doses of epidural and my nurses were arguing, and one disappeared causing me to miss my 3rd dose, which I wasn't as numbed as I could've been. I felt my tears and then my doctor stitched my tears up wrong, and he stitched my torn skin to my pee hole, causing me intense pain, and my stitches to become infected and irritated. I dreaded when I had to use the bathroom. I was uncomfortable no matter how I walked, sat, coughed and lied down. My perineal area was constantly hurting. I called my nurse telling her I felt terrible and she told me to come in so they could examine my stitches, and the other doctor apologized for the previous doctor's mistakes, and he had to fix my stitches.Tearing as much as I did was painful but I don't feel regret or depression behind it. I've never felt any kind of way.
Omgod this is horror 😭 so sorry you went trough this xx
Such brave women who share their stories and experiences in this documentary. I really feel sad for them this had happened to them. This year I got an elective c-section in the Netherlands. This is very uncommon in the Netherlands. I had to fight for it, but was listened to fortunately. Both my son and I came out fine. My pelvic floor feels like it did before my pregnancy. Hopefully there will be more discussion about both ways of delivery. C-sections are somehow always set away as more scary or dangerous (or longer recovery time). I wonder if that's really the case.
Those Dutch doctors are criminal. Wouldn't trust any of them with their forced vaginal births. They are not objective. Many times there are secondary intentions.
I have birthed four children, the first three with vaginal cut by doctor. My fourth came too fast and the doctor could do nothing except catch my son. He was very upset with the nurses because he said I tore and he had a lot of repair work. However, I found the opposite to be true for me. I was in my twenties with my first three and after a long break had my fourth at age 35. After my first three, sex was sometimes painful and I ALWAYS felt tender where I had been cut, it never felt normal. After tearing and healing from my fourth birth all of the pain and tenderness was gone completely. I was in SHOCK because I had always been told that ripping was bad. Not for me, Thank God it was my last child when I tore. By the way, three different doctors for the four deliveries, same dad for all. Just saying that many women have an easier time if they are not cut and tear instead. True for me and others I know who have chosen not to be cut during delivery.
Traci Waltman I had a 3 degree tear with my first baby. I tear with all 3 of my babies but the first one was the worst. Sex was painful after 12 weeks. But I went to my OB and told her about my pain. It was is bad that we couldn’t have sex. My OB prescribed a cream. I can’t remember the name now. It’s been 9 years. But the cream softens the area and did solve my problem. I don’t remember what my OB told me what the problem was. With my other 2 kids I had not problem afterwards. Oh and my first baby was only 6 lbs 9 oz so she wants small! And I was 32 years old and the same OB delivered all 3.
I tore while giving birth to my first born. He was two weeks early and a small 7 pounds. But I’m a small person. Only 4 feet 11” tall.
I had soo many stitches and the nurses were so mean to me. Telling me to get up and walk. Told me to use water while I went to the bathroom, which I definitely did but it still burned and stung. Which of corse I was blamed for. I also after a week started bleeding really really badly, and I was told it was normal and to stop being a baby. Turned out I ruptured and had an infection. So I was on strong antibiotics for two whole weeks.
It scared me so much I waited 5 years between my two children.
Im now pregnant with my second child. She is two weeks late and I’m terrified of tearing again, because she is in there a lot longer then my son. So I’m worried she’s going to be 9lbs or bigger lol
But tearing happens and us moms are gas lit about how we handle it I think is unfair and unjust.
How did it go ? I hope you're ok
I had rupture on both sides with my first...How did it go the second time pls share? Xoxo
Update. My second child was a girl! She was 8 pounds. I tore again. The doctor told me it was 3rd degree tare. But I healed much faster this time because he took his time to stitch me up. No infections, no heavy bleeding. And the staff was absolutely fantastic. My first time scared me so much, and my daughters birth was so peaceful. Nothing like the first.
When I had my first child I had an episiotomie and a second degree tear that were stitched incorrectly I suffered a lot post partum.. it's been four years..now I'm pregnant with my second..I want to ask about your both experiences of giving birth..were they medicated or physiological ?
@@zahramouad2252 both of my births were medicated. My sons birth ( my first ) was a shit show. No doctor was available so they had to call one in from out of town. Also, there was only one Anesthesiologist and he was busy. So for 14 hours he wasn’t available to give me an epidural. I was in agony. I was also given Pitocin so labour pain wasn’t a natural pain it was Synthetically induced. Ouch. 18 hours later my son was born. But he wasn’t breathing, so it took staff 7 minutes to get him to breathe on his own.
My daughter was very different. She wasn’t early she was late. And I had an amazing Anesthesiologist who was there for me right away. And my doctor was in town, so he was able to deliver this time around. She was born within 9 hours of labour. And she had no complications.
I had a small tear..had my daughter naturally..and I cussed out the doctor..he didn't numb me and I felt him sewing me up...😢
Barnes Barnes same. He kept saying i shouldn't feel a thing as i had an epidural but the sucker had fallen out so i felt it all. He finally gave me a local.
I m sorry to hear that. X
Barnes Barnes it sounds like he was using his power against you. How horrible
I felt mine too and had to yell at my doctor to stop, and I tore very far up the front. My epidural barely worked.
Omg. That is ridiculous! Should be illegal. As in battery. How dare they? They need to have the same experience. Naked, legs spread, and a little cut in perineal area sutured without anesthetic! One of many cold, paternalistic a-hole doctors.
This is horrible... poor women 😥
This made me cry
It's sad that women have to go through so much. I think i had a second degree tear. For me i sometimes have difficulty holding my urine. Before i could hold my urine now it's almost impossible. I had vaginal pain for about a year after i had my child. I am terrified of another child.
You don't want then you need not have another child, dear. It's your wish and your wish entirely.
I had 3rd degree perineal tears during both my deliveries! Recovery was awful n still sometimes experience fecal incontinence 5 yrs later. I'm 33 right now n wasn't overweight when got pregnant.
Abby Rash So sad are you any better did u get repair?
@@almostparadise123 no surgery..they put stiches after delivery. It gets slightly better with time
@@abbyrash161 do you have any pain while passing stool?
@@jyotilakshmi4443 r u recovered??
Ladies always remember it’s not the tear itself that results in incontinence, it’s the resulting pain and weakened perineal muscle. Start pelvic floor pull ups and exercise as soon as possible after birth. See a physiotherapist if there is leakage and keep up with pain relief. Women don’t have to suffer unnecessarily
Moms are heros. I was always aware of the complications with birth and vaginal tear scared me the most. I am 35 and decided not to have children due to this. I feel like a have a phobia to give birth so I am not going to risk it. :(
Have a C section dear, many years ago I was like you. I’m 38 now and I had my baby, fear should not stop you, get the C section.
@@MoilacubaineDoctors in Europe won't allow us to get one until we've actually had a bad tear.
God please 🙏 heal all good mothers
I hope she keeps this video and shows it to her son if he becomes rebellious. He should know what his poor mom's body went through to bring him into this world!
Victoria Island That is terrible. I would not take that. I would make a playlist of women giving birth (I've got some real bad ones) and make her watch it. Then tell her "I went down hell's road to bring you into this world" show me some respect! I brought you into this world and I can taken you out!
Not his fault or responsibility!
I feel like we need to do more for women giving birth
A lot more.
I had an epidural and had a totally painless birth. I got a 2nd degree tear. Recovery was painful but in 5 weeks I was totally back to normal again, thankfully. I was TERRIFIED all my life to give birth. I can’t really even tolerate a Pap smear so I thought I could never have a baby. At times I even considered getting a c-section to avoid anything happening to my vagina! Now I’m so happy I didn’t! If your water breaks at home, like me, you’re lucky because you can immediately get an epidural. That way you don’t even have to feel the cervical checks or contractions! It was a great experience. The epidural didn’t hurt at all. I asked them to give me something for pain before my iv and epidural too.
I was 2cm dilated and already begging for painkillers, I was such a wimp😂 I was so scared because people told me that having a baby even with an epidural is excruciating..lol I was in labor for 16 hours and once I had my epidural, the whole process was completely painless. Pushing out a baby felt like taking a crap tbh
I ended up with a 2nd degree tear up left lip when I had my first child at age 19....was the worst pain ever. Took 6 weeks to heal. Still dealing with problems from it 4 years later. All my doctor has to tell me is do kegals. It hasn't helped. Sadly. Makes me nervous to have a 2nd child. The shit us woman go thru! 😢
Danica G9813 you should see a gynecologist
Blue sky, gynecologists have no clue what to do with these kinds of issues. A lot of them don't even care, as long as your organs are intact. The only options I was given were surgery or pelvic physical therapy. My gynecologist also ignored most of the internal damage, and it ended up being officially diagnosed by a nurse he sent me to for IUD placement.
Wow I’m so sorry. Thank you so much for sharing your story.
I have the same issue. I only tore 2 degree I say only because apparently that’s no if deal but here I am 2 years later and carrying my second child and still experiencing pain. I developed a hematoma shortly after labor, pelvic pain, lower back pain it’s awful. It took 15 months post partum for me to get a referral for Pelvic Therapy. They need to do more. I’m having a c-section this time.
Pelvic therapy has been amazingly helpful and I highly recommend it. I am in less pain now both internally and externally. Sex is actually enjoyable, and I didn't think that would be possible. I did not give specifics before, but the right portion of my labia and clitoris were torn as well as additional second degree tearing. The PT told me I had extensive muscle and nerve damage, particularly in the fascia of the clitoral hood, as well as a good deal of scar tissue.
This is why I chose planned C-section not because I can’t handle pain but fear to deal with a long life injury…
I wanted a c section but doctors wouldn't let me have it, even though my baby was huge. End result is a dead baby and a 4th degree tear.
I had a 4 degree tear and healed very quickly with no complications, my doctor kept telling me how lucky I am to be such a good healer, since it was my first and I didn’t do any research on tears I thought he was over exaggerating but holy cow these poor women.
I got a 3rd degree tear. I was pretty traumatized by it but healed pretty quickly. Just found out I'm expecting again so I am a little scared. Did you give birth again?
Nonnonbutlove No I haven’t but I want another one, from what iv heard from other women they have very little to no tearing with the second birth, even if they have had a 3rd or 4th degree tear with their first. I’m glad you heal quickly to. I hope all goes well with your second pregnancy and congrats!!
i had a third degree 2 years ago and due with my 2nd in September, the healing was fine and no problems with incontinence luckily, so ive declined a C section and hoping for the best, i had a water birth and a 2 hour labour which can be 1 (apparently) of the causes, my body was not given enough time to prepare and stretch! im going to try perinea massage and BREATH through the contractions until baby and body is ready! fingers crossed!
Thank you! :D
I heard that too Lisa! Please let me know your experience if you can! Congrats!!
Don't get the triage ladies, I swear it accidentally broke my water, putting me on the induction timeline and leading to the dreaded forceps because I couldn't push . My uterus was knackered from augmented contractions and the epidural made me too numb to feel what I was doing, couldn't move into pushing positions where gravity could help either . Don't let em poke you, it's unnecessary. And tell them they can c-section the baby out if it's in distress, which will be easier if you haven't pushed the baby half way down the birth canal.
Good job I at least got stitched up competently
I’m SO happy you guys covered this news story !! It needs to be talked about A LOT MORE. 👏🏽💯 Women are GREATLY & DEEPLY affected by episiotomies and tears !! To deliver such a beautiful thing as a baby, all the attention goes to them. And it should. But MOMS MATTER TOO !! To be a mother, and have to handle everything and not be getting the proper treatment, care and time to recover is absolutely terrifying and crazy & absolutely not ok. I feel so sorry for the women In this video and god bless them and I hope they can get the help they need. I’ve personally had an episiotomy, and then the 2nd time a tear that did not heal properly and couldn’t be re stitched so I developed a lot of SCAR TISSUE and had pain for YEARS until I had to get a perineal repair. Even that separated a bit at the top & once again I couldn’t get stitches to help so now I’m just healing. This effects everything ! I hope this absolutely DOES get more awareness & I’ll be bringing more to it also on my 2nd channel Life With Shai Shai VERY soon !! 💯🎬 God bless all mothers who have dealt/are dealing with this now. Speak up and ALWAYS BE YOUR OWN ADVOCATE ! And don’t be afraid to get corrective surgery if need be ! YOU MATTER TOO !! 👏🏽💯
Every woman
Every woman is different
@@meahdahlgren6537 Yeah we all are
@@ShaisTime ok bye
I was sewn back up by the doctor after delivery.
C-sections are the best option for some women.
Though c-sections have a lot of risk too and it comes with higher risk than natural birth
@@한-s3g higher risk of what? The risk of tearing while giving birth is more than 90%, the risk of vaginal tearing during a caesarean is 0%. In what way is the risk higher in a caesarean?
Adoption is better u won’t have to tear or go through the work of giving birth because the child already exists and desperately needs a home
@@한-s3gA higher risk of what? A higher risk of becoming fecally incontinent? No they don't.
I knew it!
It HAD to be!
Nobody! Nobody talks about it!
I prefer a c section birth
@@grapeypear4558 i had an emergency c section 6months ago it was harder than i thought.
@@grapeypear4558 Not true, nothing of this has ever been proven. Stop trying to scare women, I had a c-section and never regretted it. I have a fully functional pelvic, and can go jogging, I never lose urine.
Yeah you guys honestly I commented that when I was very early on in my (first) pregnancy and though I still think some of it could have truth in it, I no longer agree with the way I said it. I myself was born via c section and I think a lot of my fear surrounding my own birth trauma was coming out in that comment. Now that I’ve given birth myself I’m much more humbled, and though I had a vaginal birth I would have been thankful to have a c section if I’d have needed one of course. I’m honestly sorry for speaking that way about something like this. It’s unfair to us all. So I deleted. Just feel very differently now.
@@grapeypear4558 That is so thoughtful and sweet of you. You seem to be a very decent human being and definitely make a great mom. Thanks for your comment.
If only babies grew on trees...
They are just coming up with these techniques in 2019??? Wow
Agreed. WTF? Women are amazing. How we’ve survived and thrived despite 200 hundred years of male dominated gynecological and obstetric abuse and violence and dismissive attitudes towards women.
Doctors and midwives, do not get into this profession if you are cold and don’t give a crap. You must be a perfectionist when repairing tears and episiotomies. My blood boils every time I hear these stories.
No it’s laughable that they’re talking about “new techniques” and trying them out at a few hospitals. There is so much knowledge that has been lost to us! There are people out there who still know it. Birth was the domain of women and midwives and partners, done in their homes in freedom and comfort. Hospitals are for the sick and hurt, why do we go there to give birth?
@@grapeypear4558 very good point!
I had a small tear, which was inconsequential. I would have been devastated to have torn right through to the rectum. Is this a problem with women giving birth on their backs? Some women in parts of Asia give birth whilst working in the fields...
Sara Simm it happens no matter what position I was in a standing squat and tore to the 4th degree
It does have a lot to do with the position...as well as overall health and pelvic floor health. Birthing on ones back (worst position to birth in) and having medication which makes the women unable to feel here body and work with it and her baby also play a part. There is also the use of other interventions such as forceps/vacuum/episiotomy. When the process is left undisturbed you and baby are better off. Families really need to educate themselves on the physiological process well before birth. When left to listen to your body and baby you may still tear but our bodies are made for this and heal.
Pinwheel ART again not really, positioning was squatting, no medication, home birth, 6 hour labor, health pelvic floor as I was 20 at the time and no interventions
Arielle Faherty, I didn't say it doesn't happen (Age doesn't mean you are healthy or have a healthy pelvic floor). It is extremely unlikely to happen to that extreme with a healthy women in an undisturbed birth. What I said still stands and is accurate.
Pinwheel ART I know many women who had undisturbed midwife births and it still happened. Your information is accurate for 90 percent of low risk births but not for any other birth. The thing that really drives me crazy is everyone assumes the information is a blanket that covers all births and it is not. There is not enough research around severe tears to justify your words and trust me I've spent the last 16 months looking for it.
I had this for my first delivery.... The horrible thing is u can't sit and feed the newborn. And the first potty after birth was hell. It took 40 days for me to completely sit and feed my son 😢
I found that. The pain was unbearable.
Wow, I had a hematoma after 2nd baby, I had just a little tear, a trainee midwife did the stitches, I think She didn't do it deep enough.
I've had too many in training people at me. They can get away from me. No more
If someone tells you it's all in your head keep going to different doctors. Go to a urologist. Find someone. I'd tell that doctor off too. Tell them they are too lazy to do anything for their patients and tell them u will do a video about your visit. They listen then
"It's all in your head" is there a woman out there that hasn't heard this from a male doctor?
@@catherinebirch2399From female doctors too.
Elective c section December 2023. Planned. No rush. Scheduled earlier than vaginal birth. As for intimacy, everything tightens and is the same as it was before, so i feel even more confident sexually now. Easy, fast, and temporary recovery honestly, idk why yall think vaginal is easier when vaginal delivery inevitably leads to incontinence at the least which cannot be fixed by surgeries bc they just dont hold up. I researched how to recover properly from a C section, and you cant even see the scar, i have scars on my knees from childhood that are much more visible.
I had c section 10 years ago, recovery was tough but I was comfortable after two weeks. I would agree with feelings down there. It felt the same. I didn’t rip anything, it’s normal, it’s tight. No damage to vaginal wall I’m good.. and now I’m pregnant again 10 years later and I’m defy doing it again
@@mayathompson727 I just feel like people lie to women. Emergency c section recovery is NOT the same as planned.
@@mayathompson727 don't even get me started on breastfeeding, I won't do it. Strictly formula. Breastfeeding depresses women, causes weight gain, loss of libido, slower recovery, hurts terribly, women get no rest, it makes your breasts ugly, and on top of it all you have to manually give your baby vitamin D drops because breastfeeding doesnt have vitamin D...and they have the audacity to say it's best? And the flat out LYING saying that "pregnancy causes changes in breasts, not breastfeeding" THATS A LIE!!!!
@@mayathompson727 girl.....c section and formula fed babies all the way. Screw the lies about vaginal birth and breastfeeding!!,
@@Unavailable669 I agree. I just had so much milk so I didn’t have a choice but I got post partum depression after breastfeeding. I felt so exhausted and yes it will drain your boobs after lol. Mine came back to 34b but it looks smaller for sure.. and your nipples oh help me God.
How can one join this conversation
If i was told my baby was too big for me to deliver on my own id opt for a csec but personally if my baby was okay to come out with minimal tearing id go for that. Ive had a csec and its not something you would want to opt just because it seems easier because its not. My csec was traumatizing and the healing process is hell.... its not for the faint. Ive had a VBac as well and only had minimal tearing definitely had a better experience
The kid doesnt need therapy. He needs better discipline. If mom needs a shower or a bag change, he needs to wait or do something for himself like get the peanut butter out of the drawer, or whatever. He cant have a tantrum bc his mom is busy. That's life.
He needs to understand that it's because of him that his mother is the way she is.
I had a fourth degree tear with my second son and I am thankful my baby did not die. I tore, it was mended, I will live with it forever, who cares? Not me. My son was healthy and alive, that is all I wanted. My first son died. If had torn in half the first time but he lived, I would still be thankful. My babies lives are all that matter to me.
My first son died AND I have a 4th degree tear. How about that?
@@salinachaaten I am sorry for your loss.
thank god i didnt tear with my homebirth babys, im fine.
Lucky u
Because you were not consulted by those who were hungry for money.
Eh me sister had this, But was perfectly fine never mentioned it after the bebe was born
I had to get 4th degree lac 2 months ago because my baby’s head was tearing my cervix.
I don’t have heart to watch it full
I had my first 3 babies in the 70's..... Episiotomies we're pretty routine then- I had them with all three babies ( second baby was born feet first) and yes, had him vaginally! - never really had a problem with the cuts- took about 1 week to not have pain - I had a peri bottle that I would fill with warm water- after going to bathroom you squeeze the warm water on the area- could also use a sitz bath ( I never did though) my oldest daughter had episiotomies with her 2 daughters- ( after discussing it with me) she told me she was so glad she did after hearing horror stories of terrible tears some women got- my niece tore horribly and had to have reconstructive surgery 3 months after the birth of her 3rd child- but my younger daughter had 2 boys, ( big babies too) and didn't have an episiotomy or tear - so you never really know! Everyone is different- but I still think it's better to have a controlled cut than a tear that can go anywhere and do so much damage .....
Why not cut
I dont understand why more women are not having c-section..? I am not trying to be cold toward the women in the video..! I am just talking in general. I am having a c-section myself.
Because doctors don't let us in Europe. They don't actually care about their patients.
7:15 looked like she's teaching the mediolateral stitch its the midline stitch you need to educate them on
That's why they do episiotomy in the U.S. A cut is easier to repair than a tear.
Episiotomy is also used in the UK, but not routinely as a tear heals easier and quicker than a cut. An episiotomy should only be performed if a tear is inevitable (e.g. the baby’s head is large)
@@zoeee4939 Shoot in the United States, that's all they do. It took me three months to heal up with my last. The doctors say that if it tears, it's harder to sew back up. I think they do it to speed up the delivery. With my first, the doctor had the nurse to press hard on my abdomen to force the baby down the birth canal and then used forceps to yank on my daughter's head hard three times. I thought he was going to break her neck. Thankfully she was ok. But years later he was sued by the parents of a newborn he severely injured.
I didn’t have an episiotomy and I’m here in the US.
c sections always
Danny russo haha yeah only if your rich 😂
Lolly Jensen i feel for you woman
Danny russo thanks😂 yeah I feel for us as well 😂
Lolly Jensen You can get c section with the right dr..few fibs and your in business
But after c sections, it takes months to heal and you can't have another child for another 5 years.
Does Saudi Arabia and Qatar finance BBC?
😢😢😔😔
i have strong pelvic floor. i was first degree tear at the bottom of my vagina and also up where the urethra is. I'm healing at the moment 2 weeks now. baby came out in 14 min. people think i had her c section because her head came out perfect haha. My mom said I shot her out, doctor didn't pull her out.of my vagina. lol
💀💀...bruh
😬😬😰😰
I dont understand why we need to educate women when they are pregnant if they want to research different tears, they can there is so much information out there you just have to look
Doctors play it off or say nothing at all. Most women have no idea what will happen until it's too late.
@@MisstressMourtisha I think it should be a crime, I read somewhere that giving birth on all four or squatting is the most natural way to give birth and laying flat down while giving birth is one of the worst ways because squatting or kneeling helps gravity do most of the “pushing”
I do not understand why it can be traumatic for so long. Sure it will traumatize u for the first few weeks or months, but for years? I'm sorry I cannot get it when u already probably knew childbirth is very painful and had prepared for it for 9 months, and when it happened, u did not expect that to be too painful. I had my eldest when i was 19yo, had a very painful and abrupt tear when her head came out, and even the doctor incised the other opposite side just to aid the baby in coming out. I was stiched though. Five years later i had my second child, and the tear even went beside my clitoris. Stitched very painfully and suffered at least 2 months down there before it completely healed. It is very common in the Philippines. We even joke around that if u did not tear on your first, then u must have big opening. I'm sorry for those women who cannot move on from a tear. But to them i say that u must feel the happiness of motherhood after a delivery, not the pain. Tear is very common, and it is not a bad thing! If u think it will have an effect on sexual intercourse, i doubt it has, especially it IS your own husband u make love with, or if the person you are with now knows your past.
I can't move on from it because the tear still hurts every day. What is not to understand?
A little tear is normal. Tearing your SPHINCTER is not normal and is usually the result of poor guidance and even malpractice with delivery. Sorry you have such bad standards of care in the Philippines.
😮 i have to thank the midwifes in my erea who educated me about giving birth i am curios and like to know what is happening so i never missed my lessons it helpt me during my child birth and being calm and collected as i had fear of londons hospitals being privet own partly ment i had to be more calm and collected so my kidneys couldnt get stolen during my child birth😂