When someone reads a self-help book, wait a month and ask them what they remember of it. Most of the time they will have forgotten it, perhaps excepting a few maxims. That's why I agree being a community is good. Having this stuff continually reinforced like dripping water is far more effective than a one-off splash of water to the face.
I actually agree with this. I've read many self-help books in the past expecting to change after reading it, but it's never worked. That's why I've changed it to just reading one chapter and giving it as much time as it needs so I can internalize it and apply it in my life. It could take weeks and months to do, and sometimes I revisit the chapter to refresh and get new insights, and so far I think it's working. Cheers!
@@zacharoooooo Thank you for the insight. I think I should try it your way, I always forget everything I read. And which book do you consider the most helpful so far?
Social anxiety has made me lose a lot of opportunities and ruined my mental health for over 9 years now. I've delayed getting help or even talking to people about it for so long thinking that my problems are not bad enough to be voiced. Even making an anonymous post or comment about it on the internet feels scary. This video gave made me realize that ultimately, our life is our responsibility, and it's going to change only if you work for it. I'm trying to make some progress by taking this opportunity and commenting under this video. And remember guys, even if it's small, it's still progress :)
I’m a 34 year old dude, and this channel has been a great help for slowly changing my mental and my life. I made a rule for myself on social media to not engage with what I call “relatable mental health content” I feel like those are echo chambers to get stuck in. I see people sharing it all the time and 9/10 times it’s about making demands of others, and it forms a stronger identity of self with a mental diagnosis, which leaves one feeling more and more powerless and stuck. May be a big assumption on my part, but that’s what it seems like.
I can relate to that. There is a strong appeal to finding the right "labels" for what might be wrong with you. I got this strange sensation of relief when my therapist said I might be affected by ADHD and might be on the spectrum. At first this might sound odd, I mean, what the hell, someone tells you that you might be suffereing from an illness/disorder, how can that be a good thing? But I think it makes sense, because if you struggle a lot in your life you start feeling like a failure. But if there is an excuse why you "had" to behave in a certain way and you actually had no choice to act otherwise, it takes a lot of pressure from your shoulders. Because it is oh so sweet to be told that you are not responsible and it's actually someone or something else's fault that you are in a certain bad situation.The problem is that this might be partially true and partially false in many cases. There's a lot of uncertainty and a lot of oscillation between self-hate ("All is my fault, I'm a failure and that's why I ended up in this situation") and self-pity ("It's not my fault, I had so much bad luck to end up in this situation").
This is absolutely true! A few years ago I used to LOVE seeing mental health content. But now I just hate it. Its as if like a constant reminder that I am my diagnosis and that I'll always be my diagnosis my whole life because I put in a lot of effort but get negligible results. Sucks. Taking time off social media and thats definitely making a difference to me!
I took Dr. K's advice about doing emotional awareness meditation. The thought that kept coming up was "I am Sad. I am garbage. Nobody wants me." This was a few days ago, still recovering from severe post-COVID depression. I took D. K's advice and started going for walks everyday to get exercise and clear my head, and stopped using technology for the first hour of waking up. I'm still struggling with feeling lousy but noticing small improvements like being able to appreciate beauty. I'm also noticing my creativity coming back. This morning I woke up to negative thoughts and started writing down everything. Wisdom has just been pouring out. I still feel overwhelming hopelessness, but I also feel like my life hasn't been a complete waste and I might be able to actually do something with it. Thank you Dr. K. p.s. I've found that what sets Dr. K. apart from other mental health content is that he applies wisdom and makes the information relatable. I don't need to hear another unrelatable philosophy from a book written 100 years ago or academic study that's irrelevant and hard to sift through.
I think one of the most useful, but simultaneously overlooked bits of advice Dr K gives is that we need to figure out how we work. It allowed me to have some pretty significant realisations about myself, the most important of which was probably the realisation that, despite the fact that I hate doing things that I don’t want to do or things that make me uncomfortable, I have this pathological drive to put myself in unpleasant situations all the time. It allowed me to develop a new respect for the part of me that was unwilling to get out of bed in the morning, or unwilling to leave the house, because I was mistreating myself all the time, so obviously I’d be rebelling against myself. It was weird, but as I started to do things I actually wanted to do, and allowed myself to engage in all my degenerate behaviours, it got to a point where my mind was like “ok I got what I needed from all that degeneracy, I feel like waking up early, doing some maths, and cooking something healthy now”. My solution ended up not being to force myself to do unpleasant things that are good for you, but instead to just wait until I wanted to do them. It developed a kind of radical self-trust that I was lacking. Of course, not everyone is the same, so some people might really benefit from forcing themselves out of bed even when they don’t want to get up every day for 6 months, but this is why a one-size-fits-all treatment is never going to work. Dr K does actually seem to understand this, which I think is a big part of his effectiveness.
Yessss, this was very similar to me. Not making myself do things until I “wanted” to, in a sense, was a big part of what helped me actually form healthy habits and routines. Still working on it, but I’ve made huge strides.
Dude!! I’m in the same situation where I have been trying to put myself in uncomfortable positions or do things I don’t really want to do just bc I think it would be helpful for me. Can you tell me more about the method you did? How do I know if doing things that I enjoy would be better and will turn out the way you describe?
@@papihuey I’d like to try writing a longer comment with my thoughts, because this is an area I’m really interested in. But the short answer for now is experiment with yourself. I tried one way lots of times and it didn’t work, before trying something different and having it work much better.
@@papihuey For me, a lot of it was kind of about allowing myself to find out who I actually was and what I actually wanted, eventually I ended up realising that I: .wanted to study palaeontology at uni .was probably trans .was afraid of socialising because I was afraid of being myself amongst other things. The way I figured this out was essentially by allowing myself to do whatever my brain decided, but whenever I started to feel really depressed or miserable or like I was wasting my life or whatever, I would stop, and just ask myself things like “what should I do instead”, and “why is it that I hate things XYZ about myself.” It wasn’t about doing anything for me, it was about doing less, don’t double down and game for 6 hours if you start to feel horrible by hour 3, just do 3 hours and ask yourself if there’s anything you could do to make things better. You might be surprised by some of the things that might come out of you. I remember the moment when I realised that the reason I couldn’t relate to anyone was because I never actually went into social situations as ‘myself’, it was liberating. (For some actionable advice, whenever you indulge in a habit or whatever, the moment it stops feeling good, go make some tea and take some deep breaths or something. It basically amounts to engaging in self care in a way that doesn’t feel like a chore)
That is the problem with the current society, you can give them all the information in the world. But you can't make a horse drink even when you have lead them to water.
Has nothing to do with the common phrase you used of the horse. It has to do with this current age of over-stimulation and an over-abundance of information that our brains aren’t made to absorb. The benefits of technology are that we have access to all the information of the world. The negatives of technology are that we have access to all the information of the world.
A lot of the time, it’s not laziness or procrastination, that stops you from doing something, it’s internal fear, but to break it you need to do to think you’re afraid of, and that’s difficult.
01:39 🛠 Consuming mental health content isn't a substitute for professional help like therapy or medication. It can complement, but not replace, these crucial forms of support. 03:30 🧠 Watching mental health content may trigger recognition of personal struggles, but the mind often seeks solutions without wanting to make the necessary effort or sacrifices for change. 06:44 📚 Information from content alone doesn't necessarily lead to behavioral change; applying the advice to life situations is crucial. The content emphasizes actionable steps, not just theories. 09:57 🤔 Challenge and engage with the information presented. Question beliefs and perspectives, even those you disagree with, to truly understand and grow. 13:37 🚫 Avoid using content consumption as a passive substitute for progress. Passive watching won't lead to substantial improvements; applying the content's advice is key.
@@GameHub1- Actually, as I learned when I was trained as a tutor, priming the brain with a framework for what's about to be presented helps information stick. So does reviewing it afterwards. If people read summary comments INSTEAD of watching videos that's their choice (and at least they get *some* exposure to the ideas).
This was a bit of an eye opener for me. I have been watching a lot of self-help content/mental health videos on TH-cam lately. However, I haven’t been applying enough to my life. I fell into the trap of, “If I watch this, I’ll get better ‘Overnight.’” I’ve shared some of what I’ve learned with my friends that also struggle with mental health. I’m someone that has never been great at taking my own advice. I help my friends with their problems, but never fix my own problems. I’ve also learned that I’m not alone with how I feel. I know that a lot of people are like me and continue to discount themselves as not worth saving. The more I think about that the more my mind asks, “Why are we not worth saving? Haven’t we learned that we matter just as much as everyone else?”
Personally, i believe that the reason you think you're unsalvageable is because you still give a huge amount of importance to the vision of the world that most of society has; while in reality, nothing is good or bad, it's just what it is, and your vision of the world is not determined by what's most used.
For me, it was the difference between understanding self worth at the cognitive level, but not at the experiential level. After almost 32 years of being alive, I finally hit a breaking point during a Vipassana meditation retreat two weeks ago and finally really understood with my whole being that I deserve happiness. Not because I've done enough to earn it, but just because I exist. I'm sure there's several ways to reach that point, I don't know, it just happened upon me. Be compassionate with yourself for "not taking your own advice", this stuff runs so deep. And "getting it" intellectually doesn't carry you.
@@smirbelbirbel are you saying that thinking about your objective makes it harder to achieve it? And you also make a good point, knowledge isn't a substitute for experience. There are some things that can be only processed emotionally
labeling yourself as "too lazy" is a fixed mindset. "I have this attribute of laziness, bad genes or something and I am lazy". instead of "I had severe childhood trauma which affected my body and mind in multitude of ways which is why I struggle where others succeed". Also that's negative self-talk, hardly ever helped anyone I know for example to do anything. "I am a piece of shit and I will force myself into programming" will yield exactly the results you are asking for. Be well, be kind, be honest.
For anybody wondering, I took the plunge a few months ago and actually stated coaching. Getting other people perspective on my problems, helping them with theirs, and setting realistic goals to work towards and update each other on has helped me a lot. I even made a huge breakthrough just a couple days ago (my social anxiety is horrible, I took off the mask for once and actually made a friend) and I only just got to the halfway point in the program. At this point I think I might just reapply once it's done because it's a routine now and it helps. Tldr: if youre stuck and you're thinking coaching might help, just do it; it's gonna help.
Coaching is a scam and horrible for my mental health. I was doing fine quitting games and being health, going to the gym every day and surfing online less than an hour a day for over 50 days in a row by myself and then the coach and other students were trying to get me kicked out of group coaching for not being a gamer and writing about my accomplishments, which caused me to relapse. That was a year ago and it caused me to spiral into depression. I am just getting back to quitting gaming now, and just now I have the energy to talk about how damaging the coaching is.
The way I see it, is that not everyone is ready for every concept at all times. It's like when you were a kid and parents told you do stuff and you resisted and later in life you realized they were right (on the concept itself). For me watching youtube on mental health is simply inspiration. I have hard time implementing any idea on face value. I need to sit on it enough to properly incorporate it into my minds's structure. So I consume a lot of content, even bindge... and then at the right moment things just click. For example I don't react as usual to some situation. Or just become aware of certain reaction. Thinking about stuff I watch about mental health comes to me naturally. I constatly analyse how it might apply to me or someone I know.
5:45 I actually found Dr K on the alexithymia video, and I cried, and decided to change my life. After the initial binge, I tried to watch only one or two videos a day, tops (enough for today). In about a month I have become more emotionally aware of myself and others, and I have coped with a couple of emotional crisis - a very sick grandpa, and some conflict at work - in a much more healthy manner. I have been meditating twice a day for 10 days, and I feel more in touch with my 2yo, I don't binge youtube, and I am off the games for days in a row. Granted, my problems are relatively mild compare to some of the cases you can read on the subreddit, but I think Dr K is making such a great service, for free, for people who really need a hand. PS: The gifted kids video hit REALLY hard. I had a second meltdown.
"We've surrendered our capacity for critical thinking" Dr K, This is a beautiful way of saying this. You made me do a double take. I was not expecting that much truth this morning.
But the question is why? I feel like in such a complicated world that we live in we want to find someone we think knows how things work so that we can follow them, because it takes a lot of effort to try understand the things ourselves. Critical thinking should be encouraged far more especially now when there's SO much information available.
NOT SO 🎉 your videos on releasing control and surprisingly journaling got me out of a very toxic place/situationship! after under a month of writing my feelings and being brutally honest i remembered how to come back to myself and leave someone in a calm way. Thank you dr. K 😊 Extra: I also have insight on why people may consume this content but not be able to use it. Trauma gave me heaps and heaps of memory problems. Heaps. I also lack insight to apply problems to situations in a way that feels equal and true to my character, because people get pigeonholed into “roles” in relationships thats makes feeling like applying good new info into areas that starkly contrast with how id been (in the past) feel fake even if they were healthy. Feeling fake can feel so much more shameful than the joy of changing to be healthier! So i could watch information, understand it, and know it would work for someone but that someone wasn’t me. Ive beem where ive been for so long - i cant be inorganic even though it sucks. Journaling helped that. Journaling showed me that even if my actions didnt change, the way I WANTED to apply new actions did - it grew. And after a month i could make that change I knew i could stand up for it. And if people asked where it was coming from or said “this isn’t you,” id show them my journal: “i can prove this IS me. I HAVE been changing. its all here, you just didn’t notice.”
I've been stuck in the same situation since coming home from the military, for whatever reason it took me until finding your channel to finally recognize the issue and start to understand that it's on me to decide and internalize I can change, improve and just wanting to and hoping for the best wasn't actually getting me anywhere. Ya can't fully depend on an outside force to heal an internal wound, its your choice and dedication too. Thank you Dr. K for what you put out in the world, even just listening and understanding can work wonders if applied and practiced.
This video hits the nail on the head. If you get what you're doing in life, the videos are THE ONLY THING YOU NEED, because you KNOW that you just need to apply the learned material. But if you have no clue what you're doing in life then you just watch the videos, you misinterpret half the data/info you get and then you either don't apply it at all or you apply it in a wrong way due to you misinterpreting the data itself... I can tell you from personal experience that just watching your content AND APPLYING your solutions will and does help. And I can also say that I'm now able to help others easily with their mental health problems because I'm literally watching the videos from newest to oldest, while making notes in a Sublime, while applying them to myself, while helping others and telling them what to apply to their lives. It has shaped me enormously as a person and I've started helping out other people who have emotional issues just as a side hustle. Since I get that practicing it on other people further improves my own understanding of psychology and how it works. I can help myself better if I can help others with their issues, since it's easier to help myself, because I am myself. It's harder with others, because you need to convince them of the fact that you can help, while I don't need to convince myself. Life really started making sense because of information you provide in the videos. I now know exactly why people do stuff they do and react how they react. I'm even able to easily listen to someone talk shit about me, be mean to me, be abusive towards me and the only thing I give back to them is my pure love, because I get that it's all an emotional response. Thank you dr. K, the videos do help, but you just need to have the RIGHT APPROACH to them. Most people just haven't been taught the RIGHT APPROACH, if they did, then no one would even need a therapist :P. We just need to teach people the right approach to life and it'll all be good for everyone.
The videos supplement my therapy really well, and I'd made some strides, but I was continuously ignoring my and my husband's slipping health, that is, until we both got super ill simultaneously and it scared the crap out of us. My next session with my therapist was talking about how I didn't want to go to therapy because I needed to talk about this, but didn't want to - didn't want to acknowledge the reality of how I needed to change on some fundamental coping mechanisms that were maladaptive. I was/am in that state of staying in the middle of the pool - not fully staying in the shallow end or shore with my head in the sand, still doing mental work and recovering from trauma, but also not pushing myself to make the changes that I have clearly identified as contributing the most to keeping me from my goals. Brains are dicks in the way they keep convincing you that you really don't have to deviate from the baseline you've established.
I had to fight for a lot of years against something i did not knew that it exist because i never red about it, but after a lot of struggle i looked up my problems and found that mental illness is a serious problem and started to looking for help. I would say my depression is gone by now after like a year and the actually only reason why i watch your content is to keep it that way and i have to say it works really really good for me so far and with your content i could even help some of my friends because i just could understand things a bit better and for that i m grateful.
The best way to get the most out of Dr. K (for me) is to take notes as I'm watching so I can reference back to them at a later date instead of rewatching long videos. There's been a lot of times I went back to my notes and was like "oh yeah I forgot about that tip" but I'm sure I wouldn't remember anything at all if I didn't write it down. I do this with multiple self help TH-camrs so it's all in one place. Also the more you watch the videos, even the ones that aren't relevant to you, you start to see similar advice popping up again and again which reinforces what you need to do. But you also gotta actually do those things, especially the meditations which I thought were dumb at first but they really help. Seriously. Thanks Dr K ❤
"Take that info and see how it *could* be right." The foundation of my thoughts as someone with high "trait empathy" and off the charts "openess to experience" It has served me well lol
When Dr. K gives me some insight, I take notes. Then I revisit my notes, I reflect and analyze myself for day or two. And then I post my final thoughts in my public. Cuz I have this thing - I always try harder for other people, than for myself. It automatically makes me give more effort and dig deeper when I try to come up with a post that makes perfect sense. So while I write a post, sometimes I come up with conclusions that I wasn't even thinking before. If you only watch Dr. K's content, I don't see how it can be helpful. It's like watching videos about programming without taking notes and practicing.
I used to watch Huberman videos all the time and came to the same realization. Then I started rewatching the episodes with a word document titled as the title of the episode. I would take notes and them quiz myself a week later. If I knew less than 50%, or I realized that I hadn't applied any of it, I would either rewatch the episode, or at least re-read the notes. It's been a few years and I'm really happy to say that I've been able to retain and apply some of that information. I'm also a linguist, so that helped me remember the jomenclature and in medicine, most of the terms are self-explanatory, so if he uses the term limbic-friction or anticipatory proliferation of neurons, you don't have to read the definition...it's right there. You just need to practise resisting stuff, or remember to sometimes walk faster...and then that triggers a memory of the episode about spinal nerves and you remember that if you walk faster, there's less pressure on your spine and more pressure on your legs...so you're exercising AND fixing your back...then you remember the research on tje benefits of walking. There is such a thing as an upward spiral and it's as unavoidable as the downward one. No mattwr how fked up and miserable you feel and unablw to fathom being better, just remember that you don't have to have all the areas of your life fixed tomorrow...do what you can. In the meantime, see your fked up situation as part of the process. Don't pressure yourself into getting better. We all know how attached we can be to our depressed identity...fkn negotiate with that proclivity...our dumb depressed brain won't even notice it's getting better until it's too late....and tjen you'll just...be a little better. I'm speaking from experience. And as for the effort part...you just gotta do it. You gotta walk, you gotta wash the dishes, you gotta maintain hygiene. Not every day, but almsot every day. If you haven't showered today, please, go have a shower and then go back to your hunched position, chainsmoke, hate tje whole world, go back tk whatever it is you were dojng before the shower. But now you smell better. I bet my life that will make you at least think of a time you had a reason to smell good, or at least clean. Maybe it's the same shower gell you used to use regularly with your ex, who knows....doesn't matter. Do something. You don't have to feel better whole doing it or afterwards, jist do a little something. Anything. Cut your nails. Throw out the trash. Doesn't matter.
Fantastic video! One thing I'd like add is learning how to clear your mind. Electronic devices like phones and computers stimulate our brains constantly with different content, which makes it harder for us to enter this meditative state, in which we are aware of ourselves. The only way to connect with yourself is to be with yourself. The most common way to clear one's mind is focusing on breathing slowly. What's interesting is that once you've reached this "clarity", you'll notice that there are several inner monologues playing in your head, which might say very different things to you. The key thing is to notice these and understand that they don't control you, if you don't let them. These monologues can be negative, positive and even neutral things your mind simply brings up from your subconsciousness. Anything from "I suck at life" to "I wonder what I should eat". Some come and go, but some might repeat themselves many times. The goal is to process and stay above them. If you jump on to the negative monologue train, it's hard to get off when you let the emotion take the wheels.
I am glad to say that these videos have helped me change my life for the better over the course of the past couple of years. They're a great source of information and inspiration when I find it difficult to get moving towards mental progress, or I find my mind too clouded to figure out a good starting place before navigating to the right answer myself. They always remind me to take pause and really let the information sink in so I can properly apply it. It's not perfect all the time, of course; that's just human nature, but it helps a ton, and I am incredibly appreciative of that.
I recognise that watching videos is partly a substitute for doing anything. Although I'm mainly watching to learn the words, to learn the size and shape of the problem I am in, which started out like being in fog - I have problems, but there was nothing to grab hold of or tell me which way to go. Also, I like the way Dr. K speaks, which gets through to me. I have "don't recommend channel"-ed so many other youtube therapy channels... But therapy is expensive, doubly so when I would have to take time off work to attend, so lose income. And therapists are in short supply, especially male therapists who understand men, and desperately needed by people with much more acute problems than I have. I'd love to see a comprehensive review of AI therapists like Wysa and Lotus, and advice for using them effectively.
It's not super cheap either, but still a lot cheaper than in person therapy, have you considered online services like betterhelp? I found a great counsellor through it and it being online and very flexible allowed me to do it at home after work. Very, very helpful.
Once you realize that no one is responsible for you except yourself and that you changing is no longer conditional on others changing, you'll begin to change for sure.
Perhaps, but it's still going to require the effort to begin the transformation. Many people recognize their problems, but are incapable of change, because they lack the will, help and/or the idea of where to begin.
Watching videos is like doing groceries. It gives you the "ingredients" to improve. But if you just do that, the food rots in the fridge and you're still hungry. You NEED the ingredients/information but you also NEED the recipes AND to actually do it. Without follow through, you're still starving yourself. Knowing better, isn't doing better. It's sucks and it's hard and that's all true. For real. It's easier to keep watching (replace the rotten food) then it is to do the recipe. Especially when it's the first time and you're hungry. Thank you for all your content. It's been helping me "cook" much better.
I forget which video it was but the one where Dr. K was talking about how change can be done without external effort was literally one that changed my life. It didn't happen immediately but once I understood that the core of improving my life was taking a step back and examining my internal processes, something clicked. I stopped binge watching youtube videos and listening to audiobooks at 2x speed and started slowing down my thought processes to better absorb what I was learning. That video single-handedly gave me the ability to actually apply the self-help content I had been learning.
Thank you for this video, for it was really what I needed to hear today. Having the illusion of doing the work to get better (even in good faith) just increases anxiety for me. And I didn't understand why. Actually DOING the work to get better, as uncomfortable it may be, is really what's going to help to heal.
I can't say that this content has changed my life at least not yet, but the entertainment, the counter intuitive solutions, the information that's articulated in a simple yet detailed manner is invaluable, not to mention, very accurate. I find myself agreeing with some of the stuff Dr.k says if not instantly then after a period of time, when i've had the time to put more thought into it. I'm one of the people who tries to make the effort, but has a hard time being consistent, however I have seen improvements with meditation alone, i feel better, and my overall mood is simply better, it's difficult to be consistent with it, but when I am it's certainly a step closer to changing my life for the better. About not changing your life through content, i feel like that's a given, you're not gonna change your life without being accountable and putting in the effort, I don't think any self-help consumable can be held responsible for it.
It sounds weird, but I tend to challenge what you say & tangent down the road of whatever the topic like I’m having the discussion with you, sometimes for up to about an hour. It pushes me to think outside the box & has lead me to some epiphanies for myself of what I thought I hadn’t known. Thanks for the great work over the years Dr K
I personally cannot attest to this more. Whatever youre watching, action is so so key to making significant changes. I went through a big phase with self development books and finally stepped off the hamster wheel when I realised I was just using it to feel good and I wasn't making any changes or applying my 'learnings' to any effect. It's been a long time but I finally found content in Dr Ks channel that I not only enjoy watching but actually find applicable, so I'm really grateful for that. I also appreciate that just consuming content at least orientation part of your mind in the right direction, even if it's a glorified excuse to not have to change or some kind of self soothing mechanism. At some point, like me, you may realise its time to stop consuming and self soothing and start the much trickier and often difficult road to real change.
Thank you so much for this. I totally agree, but I've never heard someone voice it this way before (or at least if I did then it didn't stick with me) and it's refreshing. I started my channel partly as therapy for myself, but in some way actually because of what you're saying in this video. Every video I share what is working for me, but I also emphasize how things just don't work for everyone - and with it how we can't just watch a video with tips on how to do something 'which will fix our problem'. I've never really known to phrase it this way, but I now realize what I always mean is to indeed 'manipulate the information'. Partly different from what you're intending to say I think, but I feel it's the same subject? Like don't just agree or disagree, don't expect said tips to be super awesome or downright terrible. I always tell people to 'find what works for YOU' as opposed to just taking everything literally from YT videos or books or whatever (and either think it'll change your life or like you said think it's crap and maybe even bash someone about it). We are all just such different people and what works for one person doesn't for another. And yes, it takes (hard) work. And it may be extremely difficult. But I think it's so worth it! I don't think one piece of advice is necessarily either awesome or awful (okay there are exceptions...). Rather I try to think about it from their perspective and try to see what (version of it) would work for me and my life. And I think that is something that could be helpful to everyone. That extra step of 'okay but how could I make this work for me'. Okay I'm about to sound like a commercial now and I'm not even sure why I'm commenting this anymore, haha. I guess it's just that you said some things that really hit home I suppose and then my mind goes into all of the reasons why. Not sure if you'll even be reading this, but if so: thank you so much for highlighting this 'part of the coin' of watching self help / mental health videos. Oh and as an answer to your question on why I'm watching this: because my friend told me to ^^. Thanks, Noon:)
I'm a boomer, and been through psychotherapy and all that, so a lot of what you've said about trauma for example was already something I knew and had been told by my therapist at the time. I have all this knowledge but at the time I was not able to process the feelings and do the work in order to get better. I could spend 4 days a week speaking and getting advice but nothing registered on emotional level. Autopilot. I was in a relationship with a narcissist who at first I praised to my shrink but slowly she started pointing out, you know, your spouse does not seem to be all that awesome as you first told me and the more you tell me about the real life daily situations, it seems he is not only controlling but heavily abusing you. (I do this eith everyone, I alwyas want to give the best impression of my spouse even tho the truth is something else). Anyway, the reason I am watching your content now is to get a quick reminder of what was discussed in real life with a therapist years back and then take action also in real life once I am back on the loop so to speak. Yes, I still try to use logic my way with emotions but at least I am gonna give therapy another chance.
When I first got recommended a Dr K video I never really watched any self help youtubers or any of that crap because what do they really know? What made me watch that very first video and stick around was that amazing youtube feature underneath the video that said, this youtuber is a legit doctor/therapist whatever it says. To me this knowledge is professional help it is coming from a professional thats why I stuck around. I unknowingly found myself doing what you said in this video before i even watched it. When i first discovered the channel I did "bingewatch" a good bit of it but throughout each video i would pause at certain moments and reflect upon the information being given to me, and after that first discovery I took a break and fron time to time ill watch a video, and I would deff say my life hasnt completely changed, but there deff has been small improvements in my mental health overtime. You truly are a true human being and you're doing the world a great favor. Continue to watch, reflect, challenge, apply and take a break watching this mans stuff it does really help and do wonders
ever since I found dr K I've made radical changes to my life. Just a few years ago I was shy, awkward, depressed, and unsure of myself. Now I have finally found who I aspire to be and am making incredible progress. I'm remarkably fit, smart, and social. I know it sounds a little like bragging here but I honestly don't think I could've turned my life around to be this content with being average, yet still able to improve, without the help of your videos. Thank you very much
Dw you're not bragging, humility, although useful, has been blindfolding individualism with our society's will to make us fear to stand out from the shape it needs us to be... Embrace your progress my guy!
Can you let me know which videos helped you the most? As I am watching Dr K for a year now but I think that's not much progress. Its just becoming brainfog after consuming so much videos. So, if you can help in pointing out the exact one's so I can give them a fresh start and also what actions did you take to improve yourself and made it a routine because I can't make myself do something unless its literal death situation if you know what I mean😅
I really appreciated this video. 1st thing I really appreciated was that it reinforced how I use Dr K's videos to practice how I temper my mental skills to have healthier mindsets. Examples being practicing the topics I find exciting, targeting my state, etc and saving those videos for reference when the details become hazy or by challenging how I thought things were working and found this new info was better than my old info. The 2nd is the realization that no matter how much better we get at impacting our growing selves, there is always more to develop and the 3rd thing, I appreciate, is the constant reminder that our minds can be real pitfalls without discipline. It may not be intended in the videos but it is really helpful to me to be reminded, almost with every video, to discipline further in every facet of life that is important
Personnal note: 7:30 In order to understand my behavior. I am having hard time to applying in real life about the knowledge that I learn.Hard to he consistent and to follow my pre-plan sketshuld. 8:04 How to manipulate information: Challenge the information, questions your own opinion and to try to understand other perspective Engage informations. 12:34 bombarded information = surrender to critical thinking. * Have your own judgements and opinion Passive learning ≠ to improuvement Binge watching ≠ to improuvement * make a recall about the information that you learn and let it sink in the mind. *Give it a shot
The thing about self improvement in an area is that it doesn't take that long to actually learn the things that will improve your life The hardest part is to be consistent and commit to the changes
My pastor said something years ago about prayer and faith that stuck with me, which is "God will let you know what you need to do, but you need to take the first step to do it". The message is that you can do all the thinking about manifesting in the world, if you don't do anything to obtain those results, it'll be impossible to achieve them.
Personal Summary (mostly for me to look back on): - our minds make progress difficult by relying on false markers of progress/shortcuts (“virtue-signalling” equivalents for mental health progress: just watching dr K videos without taking any action or doing any of the things recommended in each video). - Passively watching Dr K doesnt replace actual action and isnt the same as putting in effort to improve. - reconsider your intentions when starting a Dr K video (“why am I watching this video? am I going to actually do anything after I watch this video?”) - try to apply the information/practices in the video (e.g. do the meditations) - “manipulate the information” and play around with the ideas posed in the video, and don’t merely consume to consume/self-soothe (e.g. evaluate and consider the content by challenging the arguments/recommendations, or try to think of ways information you disagree with can become correct and change your perspective, etc.) - engage with the information (e.g. post on youtube or the subreddit) or just think about the information. - change isnt immediate. [Side-note: I love the phrase “we have surrendered our capacity for critical thinking”. The reminder that we are **actively participating** in our own brain rotting and giving up our own autonomic ability to think for ourselves is haunting; I forget sometimes that I can control my own media consumption and have some control over the algorithms in media]
I write this here because in my opinion there is no other place where I could write this. So, in one video he was mentioning "Care giver Burnout" and since then I’ve been looking into burnout itself and I have come to the conclusion that this applies to me, but I have a partner with depression and cleaning behind them is a pain in the ass. Every damn time I try to talk about doing the whole household, cooking, cleaning, clothes washing, bringing the trash outside, even caring for the animals that I didn’t want to in the first place (I love them now). I just can’t take it anymore. I want to start to get a finances degree in 2 years but as it is now, I have a merely 4 hours of free-time a week where I’m not too tired to do anything. We both work 40 hours a week, I work during the week and my partner has Sunday and 2 other days of the week off. They don’t do shit on those days either. Like when I work from home and see them do absolutely nothing while the cats do their "please clean the litterboxes“ meows.
I think with the ending analogy it’s like watching the videos is diet and that help and is half the battle but you still have to do the other half to really get over that hurdle I.e working out and actually doing an action
I have a special interest in psychology and mental health, so no matter what i always end up taking some information that ends up sticking in my brain that i often revist at later dates when i meed to apply it to myself. So even if i hear something that i know i wont want to apply right away, i know that the information is there in my brain and i can always revisit the video when im ready to apply it. I find that when i binge watch, im either ina mood where im wanting to have deep intellectual conversations but have no one to talk psychology with, or ehen im trying to find something productive to do instead of thinking about my addictions. Its easier for me to put on a video and zone in and out than to try to work on a project. In a way i still feel like im being productive without having to actively motivate myself
I'm a woman in my late 30s but your videos have helped me a lot. I really love what you're doing, speaking to young men and giving them support they need 😄
I love your username. And yes it is, a lot less people would have been depressed and suffering I feel like if it was the system of the world. I feel like we're living the crack medicine and witch doctor era like in the middle ages for the political science and its going to take a long long time for us to realize it. Hell it took over 2000 year for just one person to realize and analyze the capitalist means of production and how our society develops over time \
I recognize that Dr. K gives good advice and I definitely see how his tips would work. I just don't really think there's any point to trying to make significant changes at my age and with the state of the world now. I think I really only watch Dr. K's videos out of curiosity to see what he gets right and wrong about me. He gets a surprising amount right.
Can you tell which videos specifically helped and what actions did you take? As its been a year of watching Dr k vids for me, and i cant see much change in me
@@markydoe3719honestly his older videos (>2 years) helped me the most. Try his mental health boot camp webinars and motivation playlist. Those vids are basically all of Dr K’s best philosophy imo. Also his “15 rules of life” was pretty good.
Something interesting I've noticed based what I've seen compared to my field of study, is that a lot of people share information that is very likely true for their situation, but not necessarily true for someone else's. We all know about overstating/exaggerating a point for views. I'm talking about things like "This [one thing] causes toe walking." When in reality, over half a dozen things can lead to someone walking on their toes. Sharing information can be amazing and true while simultaneously being incomplete. So, I'm glad this video encourages critical thinking.
As a behavioral coach for K-12 students I consider myself a salesman for healthy thoughts and actions. I am happy to have words for what I am doing when I congratulate kids for disagreeing with me sometimes. I ultimately just want to talk about self-awareness and let them make it personal to themselves.
I basically got the totally opposite experience from this person. I watched your video on anhedonia and it cleared up a few things... I am an analytical kind of person so once a bunch of symptoms seamed to fit, I decided to try out the method you suggested... I also had a problem with weed, actually, you mentioned in one of your videos a guy that uses it to get rid of the social pressures and that is how it works on me as well (also I get a huge improvement in concentration, something I used to struggle a long time with and still do, just to a way lesser degree). To keep it short, I quit weed some 3 weeks ago and stopped doing a bunch of things that distract me, it is hard but I am starting to feel things again... Once I am done with the process I will have to check that switching between addictions video, I can recognize that I do this with a couple of things (mostly with weed, coffee and energy drinks and it is really hard to break the cycle)... Anyways, thanks for talking about a bunch of stuff that people go through, I feel as it has helped me to understand that most of the things happening to me are not only happening to me and it helps me relate to others (since I am a bit anti- social as well and generally do not like to be around people and groups for a longer periods of time).
I started watching your videos... I stopped with pornography, social media in general and I don't even touch my cellphone anymore... And I also got a girlfriend. And all of that literally happened in the last month. Thank you!
There's another video on this channel about how to grow without doing anything, which perfectly illustrates how to use these video's to grow, especially if you are in those beginning stages where it's hard to actively practice the advice. I really recommend it! The tl;dr of the vid is basically: 1. Watch one video at a time 2. Spend some time actively thinking about it (through journaling or walking for example) 3. Give yourself time to let it sink in. I really found that after that video, I started to grow far more from each subsequent dr K video I watched!
Your, Gifted Child Episode gave me an aha moment and now can lead me in taking the positive direction moving forward. But, I generally try to limit your videos to 1-2 per week as it this shouldn't be entertainment but education.
Do the hard thing you need to do most and dont look back. Sometimes you literally got to say one word, take one step, spend one minute towards something to make progress.
I’m self aware enough that the reason nothing changes in my life is because I did not have the motivation to change in the first place. But I guarantee that when something you care about comes your way, anything you choose to change will change. Be it love, respect, or even just utter ego. Change can be made as long as the person is willing stick with it until it’s second nature.
I often ask myself why I feel or think the way I do or try to understand people how other people think the way they do or feel. Specially when there beliefs or how the think goes against what I believe. I always try to understand rather than to go against them and start attacking them or going into defensive mode. Think it comes from the fact that from a very young age I was always interested in the history of different cultures and also still am interested in different cultures and find it fascinating how different people's cultures, manners, ethics, etc can be just from living in a different part of the world with different climates, nature etc.
The video title pretty much sums up my whole situation for years and yet I still think that this won't really change the dynamic, thanks anyway mister HealthyGamer.
HG’s content helped me start understanding why I was socially anxious and challenged me to actually look at people which has really been helpful. It was a tangible step I could take whenever I felt alright with being uncomfortable. Now I am learning conversation skills and can have fun interactions with a much bigger range of people than I could before. To get advice that can be applied in baby steps have been a game changer for me
Thanks for making this and convincing me to at least try again. I can't even count how many times I've tried therapy/medication but well being off one of them isn't helping much so you convinced me to at least find a provider online and book an appointment with them. I wish you guys accepted my insurance haha but well sitting on my butt being lazy on TH-cam isnt going to change anything for me and it took until watching this to really realize that
wow this video transformed my life! thank you healthy gamer GG for making such great content. Your video's make me think that i just have to believe in myself and just have fun doing the things i want to do.
One of the problems I have is figuring out how to apply it to my life and makings things work for me. I LOVE this channel and i absorb the knowledge and even though I struggle I try to pass on what I have absorbed to others readily bc they may be able to apply it to their lives still. I suffer from anxiety depression have adhd and autism. So I have issues with routine bc adhd and my autism makes things not so straightforward for me though i wish it was so i am constantly trying to figure out how to make it work for me
I have a saying re mental health: "If something's strong enough to have beneficial effects, it's strong enough to have side effects". It seems that this applies even to Dr K vids.
I've been feeling like this for a while. I listen to content so I can self sooth whenever I'm feeling stressed, but then I feel like I have to be paying attention to the content instead of working. One of my many problems is that I feel so scatterbrained all the time, and I've reinforced the habit of listening to content so much that I start to feel anxious if I'm not listening to content. It's gotten to the point where I even listen to podcasts and things when I'm gaming, and I will specifically chose games that are less entertaining, but will allow me to listen to content/podcasts/etc. I've gotten marginally better over the past couple of weeks (out of the 3-5 years that I've known it was a problem) but I still feel like I've dug myself into a pit I can't get out of.
“You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make it drink” comes to mind. Can give people all the info in the world, if they do not use it correctly or actually apply it that’s on them.
I personally do not act much on the specific tips in the videos, however I do tab out of the game (yeah I know, multitasking not good, bla) pause the video and take notes. I wouldn´t say it´s completely Terraforming my live choices, but I do think a lot about it, compare it with other stuff I listen to and read and this process slowly nudged me into a direction where I feel a lot more confident being able to take on my problems. Slow but steady, I guess. I´m not a fan of stuff like meditation and organisation (not saying it doesn´t work.) for some reason my brain just completely refuses such concepts. Probably because I tried that on and off for years now during different therapies. But the deep dives into certain thought processes and tips on how to alter your thought patterns are really helpful to me. Well, that´s how I steer through the great sea of self help content. BTW, just in case you read this Dr. K, I´d be *really* interested in your takes on Cognitive Disengagement Syndrome ((CDS) formerly known as sluggish cognitive tempo, SCT) I´m getting into Russell Barkleys work quite a bit lately and this one completely shocked me because it´s about I´d say 90% on point about my problems that I still have despite MPH medication.
Thank your for doing what you’re doing, providing what you provide, one suggestion I may add is your have a global audience, some of which can not afford any extra content over and above what it costs to subscribe too TH-cam. So perhaps how do we address what content do we subscribe further, and further and further. Baring in mind exchange rates etc. this may be a blind spot , I’ve not watched enough, however, truly appreciate what you’re doing here.
I think you video's are great and am often intrigued by your point of view. Some people don't understand that you are not here to treat any specific mental disorder, but to educate on mental health in general. Some people might not need you guidance, but besides that you inspire many, in fields ranging from psychology to neuroscience.
Its like watching cooking shows while being hungry: You can learn a recipe from the video and try it out - but solely watching it won't bring the food to the table.
I’ve had several dr k videos change my life, but I also don’t binge them. I’ll watch one or maybe a couple that are on similar topics, and take some time to digest them
I find your videos highly informative and valuable, especially your recent video about subvocalization. I take your content as supplemental to overall mental health, not as a panacea. I think that's the distinction that some are failing to perceive.
For me it is like finishing, most of the content is okish but not something that is actionable for me ( and this is ok), then a few come and they hit good and increase my understanding of things as they either force me to reconsider my stance on this or connect with something I've been thinking about. I always like to listen to the content of this type while playing something repetitive but fun ( Dead cells ^_^) and if what is being said is clear and resonates I will actually stop playing the game and re-listen the video in order to extract actionable items or write an entry that exaplains to me some of the observations. I kind of like doing this IRL I call it "podcasting mode" where sometimes when I'm drained of "social energy" I'll become passive and just listen to my friends talk only activating once I'm recovered or something really clicks.
I'll give it a chance. Right now I should be doing my finals works for my last semester of university. It has been difficult to focus, but I'll keep moving.
One word before watching this video: ADHD. At least in my case. And till I got help and am medicated, nothing will change just like in the other 3 decades of my life. I hope others are aware of that possibility as well :/
I personally went through changing my life radically for the past 5 years. I still have a habit of watching videos even if I don't really have the problem that stated in the video. But I may had it in the past, so it helps me to understand myself better. But it does not change my life, there is no such goal now
I'll leave this comment in an attempt to manipulate the info. I don't know if I want to change right now. I'd like the benefits of walking up early (more time to do my own things, self satisfaction of being "one of those morning people") without the work of going to sleep early and then getting out of my bed earlier, so maybe that's my current problem. One thing that holds me back is that I can think of previous examples when I did wake up early but just fell right back to not walking up early, which is a different problem (that of how to continue a good habit rather than that of starting one). I wonder how can someone balance the acknowledgement of previous failures, the one-step-ahead thinking of "will I forever be stuck in this loop of trying and not succeeding", and actually taking action to succeed. 😅
I've had a hospital capacity evaluation recently, was told I'm being held for the night, tried to leave anyway, got restrained, while wearing shorts, knees got cut up good, didn't have a good time, would not recommend resisting :)
I used to binge watch a lot of Dr. K but stopped doing that and now only watch one video from time to time when I feel like I can give it the most attention possible. But even with that, nothing has changed lol. So from now on I'll try to actually do what is being advised in a video and won't allow myself to watch another video until I do the thing.
At the 6:12 I was like “Oh wait it’s me” And at the 6:15 I just like “hahah so it is’t me?” Dr K really got me in that moment, I really didn’t expect this so laughed hard
I bought the guide a few months ago. But it has taken me until yesterday to start using it. Because I wasn't ready to DO the thing. But I finally started.
this is actually good cause I watch one of your videos and I am like great I am gonna do this now but then I want to apply it but idk how to ok I kinda do but I just continue living as before I do think about but still kinda going nowhere but it is still good cause you start thinking more deeply about things and the whys and hows etc
Dr K., just fyi. I discovered your content because I used to do behavioral therapy out of college but recently joined a mental health company as a training and development specialist and wanted to re-educate myself on mental health and clinical psych stuff. Not sure if I'm the only one but there may be other professionals who find your content useful in a CEU type of way.
The will to change is definetly there for most people i'd say who watch Dr K. But the real challenge is over coming the part of your brain that has normalized the place you're currently at. No matter how unhappy and miserable you are, I have noticed that my mind is always fighting itself. So I assume others must have this issue too. Dr K is a rad dude and I'm happy I stumbled upon this channel. But people need to be careful of parasocial relationships. This channel is not a good substitute for a proper therapist who you are paying to help you. And above all this content can be used in a way that like the posts ex used it. As an excuse, or just a part of their doom scrolling. My advice to people like myself dealing with these issues is to get off the internet and chase your goals and desires. Just do it, don't let your old self get in the way anymore.
When someone reads a self-help book, wait a month and ask them what they remember of it. Most of the time they will have forgotten it, perhaps excepting a few maxims. That's why I agree being a community is good. Having this stuff continually reinforced like dripping water is far more effective than a one-off splash of water to the face.
Previously I was writing in my diary everyday. It helped me to memorize a bit more consumed content and make use of it
I actually agree with this. I've read many self-help books in the past expecting to change after reading it, but it's never worked. That's why I've changed it to just reading one chapter and giving it as much time as it needs so I can internalize it and apply it in my life. It could take weeks and months to do, and sometimes I revisit the chapter to refresh and get new insights, and so far I think it's working. Cheers!
@@zacharoooooothinking of applying this thanks. Which self help book are you reading though?
@@markydoe3719 ego is the enemy
@@zacharoooooo Thank you for the insight. I think I should try it your way, I always forget everything I read. And which book do you consider the most helpful so far?
Social anxiety has made me lose a lot of opportunities and ruined my mental health for over 9 years now. I've delayed getting help or even talking to people about it for so long thinking that my problems are not bad enough to be voiced. Even making an anonymous post or comment about it on the internet feels scary. This video gave made me realize that ultimately, our life is our responsibility, and it's going to change only if you work for it. I'm trying to make some progress by taking this opportunity and commenting under this video.
And remember guys, even if it's small, it's still progress :)
Good job, I really mean it
Seems like youre on the right path! I wish you all the luck but i doubt you'll need it.💪
I'm really glad you decided to comment here. I hope that your mental health can improve at its due time!
Clapping to the you who started typing this, you've got the right intention, keep fostering it!
Good job! 😁😊 also lovw your icon it's so cute
I’m a 34 year old dude, and this channel has been a great help for slowly changing my mental and my life.
I made a rule for myself on social media to not engage with what I call “relatable mental health content” I feel like those are echo chambers to get stuck in. I see people sharing it all the time and 9/10 times it’s about making demands of others, and it forms a stronger identity of self with a mental diagnosis, which leaves one feeling more and more powerless and stuck. May be a big assumption on my part, but that’s what it seems like.
I can relate to that. There is a strong appeal to finding the right "labels" for what might be wrong with you. I got this strange sensation of relief when my therapist said I might be affected by ADHD and might be on the spectrum. At first this might sound odd, I mean, what the hell, someone tells you that you might be suffereing from an illness/disorder, how can that be a good thing? But I think it makes sense, because if you struggle a lot in your life you start feeling like a failure. But if there is an excuse why you "had" to behave in a certain way and you actually had no choice to act otherwise, it takes a lot of pressure from your shoulders. Because it is oh so sweet to be told that you are not responsible and it's actually someone or something else's fault that you are in a certain bad situation.The problem is that this might be partially true and partially false in many cases. There's a lot of uncertainty and a lot of oscillation between self-hate ("All is my fault, I'm a failure and that's why I ended up in this situation") and self-pity ("It's not my fault, I had so much bad luck to end up in this situation").
This is absolutely true! A few years ago I used to LOVE seeing mental health content. But now I just hate it. Its as if like a constant reminder that I am my diagnosis and that I'll always be my diagnosis my whole life because I put in a lot of effort but get negligible results. Sucks. Taking time off social media and thats definitely making a difference to me!
I took Dr. K's advice about doing emotional awareness meditation. The thought that kept coming up was "I am Sad. I am garbage. Nobody wants me." This was a few days ago, still recovering from severe post-COVID depression. I took D. K's advice and started going for walks everyday to get exercise and clear my head, and stopped using technology for the first hour of waking up. I'm still struggling with feeling lousy but noticing small improvements like being able to appreciate beauty. I'm also noticing my creativity coming back. This morning I woke up to negative thoughts and started writing down everything. Wisdom has just been pouring out. I still feel overwhelming hopelessness, but I also feel like my life hasn't been a complete waste and I might be able to actually do something with it. Thank you Dr. K.
p.s. I've found that what sets Dr. K. apart from other mental health content is that he applies wisdom and makes the information relatable. I don't need to hear another unrelatable philosophy from a book written 100 years ago or academic study that's irrelevant and hard to sift through.
Small steps ❤
I think one of the most useful, but simultaneously overlooked bits of advice Dr K gives is that we need to figure out how we work. It allowed me to have some pretty significant realisations about myself, the most important of which was probably the realisation that, despite the fact that I hate doing things that I don’t want to do or things that make me uncomfortable, I have this pathological drive to put myself in unpleasant situations all the time. It allowed me to develop a new respect for the part of me that was unwilling to get out of bed in the morning, or unwilling to leave the house, because I was mistreating myself all the time, so obviously I’d be rebelling against myself.
It was weird, but as I started to do things I actually wanted to do, and allowed myself to engage in all my degenerate behaviours, it got to a point where my mind was like “ok I got what I needed from all that degeneracy, I feel like waking up early, doing some maths, and cooking something healthy now”.
My solution ended up not being to force myself to do unpleasant things that are good for you, but instead to just wait until I wanted to do them. It developed a kind of radical self-trust that I was lacking.
Of course, not everyone is the same, so some people might really benefit from forcing themselves out of bed even when they don’t want to get up every day for 6 months, but this is why a one-size-fits-all treatment is never going to work. Dr K does actually seem to understand this, which I think is a big part of his effectiveness.
Yessss, this was very similar to me. Not making myself do things until I “wanted” to, in a sense, was a big part of what helped me actually form healthy habits and routines. Still working on it, but I’ve made huge strides.
Dude!! I’m in the same situation where I have been trying to put myself in uncomfortable positions or do things I don’t really want to do just bc I think it would be helpful for me. Can you tell me more about the method you did? How do I know if doing things that I enjoy would be better and will turn out the way you describe?
@@papihuey I’d like to try writing a longer comment with my thoughts, because this is an area I’m really interested in. But the short answer for now is experiment with yourself. I tried one way lots of times and it didn’t work, before trying something different and having it work much better.
@@papihuey
For me, a lot of it was kind of about allowing myself to find out who I actually was and what I actually wanted, eventually I ended up realising that I:
.wanted to study palaeontology at uni
.was probably trans
.was afraid of socialising because I was afraid of being myself
amongst other things. The way I figured this out was essentially by allowing myself to do whatever my brain decided, but whenever I started to feel really depressed or miserable or like I was wasting my life or whatever, I would stop, and just ask myself things like “what should I do instead”, and “why is it that I hate things XYZ about myself.” It wasn’t about doing anything for me, it was about doing less, don’t double down and game for 6 hours if you start to feel horrible by hour 3, just do 3 hours and ask yourself if there’s anything you could do to make things better. You might be surprised by some of the things that might come out of you. I remember the moment when I realised that the reason I couldn’t relate to anyone was because I never actually went into social situations as ‘myself’, it was liberating.
(For some actionable advice, whenever you indulge in a habit or whatever, the moment it stops feeling good, go make some tea and take some deep breaths or something. It basically amounts to engaging in self care in a way that doesn’t feel like a chore)
That is the problem with the current society, you can give them all the information in the world. But you can't make a horse drink even when you have lead them to water.
Has nothing to do with the common phrase you used of the horse. It has to do with this current age of over-stimulation and an over-abundance of information that our brains aren’t made to absorb. The benefits of technology are that we have access to all the information of the world. The negatives of technology are that we have access to all the information of the world.
Knowledge is not a substitute for experience. Knowing something is good but it needs to be practiced constantly to understand it fully.
A lot of the time, it’s not laziness or procrastination, that stops you from doing something, it’s internal fear, but to break it you need to do to think you’re afraid of, and that’s difficult.
It is nit a matter of knowing it is a matter of doing applied knowledge
So true.
01:39 🛠 Consuming mental health content isn't a substitute for professional help like therapy or medication. It can complement, but not replace, these crucial forms of support.
03:30 🧠 Watching mental health content may trigger recognition of personal struggles, but the mind often seeks solutions without wanting to make the necessary effort or sacrifices for change.
06:44 📚 Information from content alone doesn't necessarily lead to behavioral change; applying the advice to life situations is crucial. The content emphasizes actionable steps, not just theories.
09:57 🤔 Challenge and engage with the information presented. Question beliefs and perspectives, even those you disagree with, to truly understand and grow.
13:37 🚫 Avoid using content consumption as a passive substitute for progress. Passive watching won't lead to substantial improvements; applying the content's advice is key.
I don't like these comments because then people don't retain the information as well as watching the video.
harpa ai user
@@GameHub1- Actually, as I learned when I was trained as a tutor, priming the brain with a framework for what's about to be presented helps information stick. So does reviewing it afterwards. If people read summary comments INSTEAD of watching videos that's their choice (and at least they get *some* exposure to the ideas).
This was a bit of an eye opener for me. I have been watching a lot of self-help content/mental health videos on TH-cam lately. However, I haven’t been applying enough to my life. I fell into the trap of, “If I watch this, I’ll get better ‘Overnight.’”
I’ve shared some of what I’ve learned with my friends that also struggle with mental health. I’m someone that has never been great at taking my own advice. I help my friends with their problems, but never fix my own problems.
I’ve also learned that I’m not alone with how I feel. I know that a lot of people are like me and continue to discount themselves as not worth saving. The more I think about that the more my mind asks, “Why are we not worth saving? Haven’t we learned that we matter just as much as everyone else?”
Personally, i believe that the reason you think you're unsalvageable is because you still give a huge amount of importance to the vision of the world that most of society has; while in reality, nothing is good or bad, it's just what it is, and your vision of the world is not determined by what's most used.
For me, it was the difference between understanding self worth at the cognitive level, but not at the experiential level. After almost 32 years of being alive, I finally hit a breaking point during a Vipassana meditation retreat two weeks ago and finally really understood with my whole being that I deserve happiness. Not because I've done enough to earn it, but just because I exist.
I'm sure there's several ways to reach that point, I don't know, it just happened upon me. Be compassionate with yourself for "not taking your own advice", this stuff runs so deep. And "getting it" intellectually doesn't carry you.
@@smirbelbirbel are you saying that thinking about your objective makes it harder to achieve it?
And you also make a good point, knowledge isn't a substitute for experience. There are some things that can be only processed emotionally
I feel like im literally too lazy to do anything about it. But recently i had a small spike in wanting to pick up programming again
lean into it brother and get to learning
@@buttkissery2keveryone on the internet is lying
@@buttkissery2k he ia trying, thinking so he is.
labeling yourself as "too lazy" is a fixed mindset. "I have this attribute of laziness, bad genes or something and I am lazy". instead of "I had severe childhood trauma which affected my body and mind in multitude of ways which is why I struggle where others succeed". Also that's negative self-talk, hardly ever helped anyone I know for example to do anything. "I am a piece of shit and I will force myself into programming" will yield exactly the results you are asking for. Be well, be kind, be honest.
Good luck, and keep it up
For anybody wondering, I took the plunge a few months ago and actually stated coaching. Getting other people perspective on my problems, helping them with theirs, and setting realistic goals to work towards and update each other on has helped me a lot. I even made a huge breakthrough just a couple days ago (my social anxiety is horrible, I took off the mask for once and actually made a friend) and I only just got to the halfway point in the program. At this point I think I might just reapply once it's done because it's a routine now and it helps.
Tldr: if youre stuck and you're thinking coaching might help, just do it; it's gonna help.
How does one get started? Are you doing this online or IRL?
Also, how much is it?
@@deadinside8781 for healthygamer coaches they’re $600 for group sessions (20 sessions) and 1on1 is $1000 same amount of sessions
@@RecordToDeathToBoredomDr k has a coaching program on his website. There a few different options and I’m pretty sure they are all online meetings.
Coaching is a scam and horrible for my mental health. I was doing fine quitting games and being health, going to the gym every day and surfing online less than an hour a day for over 50 days in a row by myself and then the coach and other students were trying to get me kicked out of group coaching for not being a gamer and writing about my accomplishments, which caused me to relapse.
That was a year ago and it caused me to spiral into depression. I am just getting back to quitting gaming now, and just now I have the energy to talk about how damaging the coaching is.
The way I see it, is that not everyone is ready for every concept at all times. It's like when you were a kid and parents told you do stuff and you resisted and later in life you realized they were right (on the concept itself).
For me watching youtube on mental health is simply inspiration. I have hard time implementing any idea on face value. I need to sit on it enough to properly incorporate it into my minds's structure. So I consume a lot of content, even bindge... and then at the right moment things just click. For example I don't react as usual to some situation. Or just become aware of certain reaction. Thinking about stuff I watch about mental health comes to me naturally. I constatly analyse how it might apply to me or someone I know.
5:45 I actually found Dr K on the alexithymia video, and I cried, and decided to change my life. After the initial binge, I tried to watch only one or two videos a day, tops (enough for today). In about a month I have become more emotionally aware of myself and others, and I have coped with a couple of emotional crisis - a very sick grandpa, and some conflict at work - in a much more healthy manner. I have been meditating twice a day for 10 days, and I feel more in touch with my 2yo, I don't binge youtube, and I am off the games for days in a row.
Granted, my problems are relatively mild compare to some of the cases you can read on the subreddit, but I think Dr K is making such a great service, for free, for people who really need a hand.
PS: The gifted kids video hit REALLY hard. I had a second meltdown.
"We've surrendered our capacity for critical thinking" Dr K, This is a beautiful way of saying this. You made me do a double take. I was not expecting that much truth this morning.
But the question is why? I feel like in such a complicated world that we live in we want to find someone we think knows how things work so that we can follow them, because it takes a lot of effort to try understand the things ourselves. Critical thinking should be encouraged far more especially now when there's SO much information available.
NOT SO 🎉 your videos on releasing control and surprisingly journaling got me out of a very toxic place/situationship! after under a month of writing my feelings and being brutally honest i remembered how to come back to myself and leave someone in a calm way. Thank you dr. K 😊
Extra: I also have insight on why people may consume this content but not be able to use it. Trauma gave me heaps and heaps of memory problems. Heaps. I also lack insight to apply problems to situations in a way that feels equal and true to my character, because people get pigeonholed into “roles” in relationships thats makes feeling like applying good new info into areas that starkly contrast with how id been (in the past) feel fake even if they were healthy. Feeling fake can feel so much more shameful than the joy of changing to be healthier! So i could watch information, understand it, and know it would work for someone but that someone wasn’t me. Ive beem where ive been for so long - i cant be inorganic even though it sucks. Journaling helped that. Journaling showed me that even if my actions didnt change, the way I WANTED to apply new actions did - it grew. And after a month i could make that change I knew i could stand up for it. And if people asked where it was coming from or said “this isn’t you,” id show them my journal: “i can prove this IS me. I HAVE been changing. its all here, you just didn’t notice.”
I've been stuck in the same situation since coming home from the military, for whatever reason it took me until finding your channel to finally recognize the issue and start to understand that it's on me to decide and internalize I can change, improve and just wanting to and hoping for the best wasn't actually getting me anywhere. Ya can't fully depend on an outside force to heal an internal wound, its your choice and dedication too. Thank you Dr. K for what you put out in the world, even just listening and understanding can work wonders if applied and practiced.
This video hits the nail on the head. If you get what you're doing in life, the videos are THE ONLY THING YOU NEED, because you KNOW that you just need to apply the learned material. But if you have no clue what you're doing in life then you just watch the videos, you misinterpret half the data/info you get and then you either don't apply it at all or you apply it in a wrong way due to you misinterpreting the data itself...
I can tell you from personal experience that just watching your content AND APPLYING your solutions will and does help. And I can also say that I'm now able to help others easily with their mental health problems because I'm literally watching the videos from newest to oldest, while making notes in a Sublime, while applying them to myself, while helping others and telling them what to apply to their lives. It has shaped me enormously as a person and I've started helping out other people who have emotional issues just as a side hustle. Since I get that practicing it on other people further improves my own understanding of psychology and how it works. I can help myself better if I can help others with their issues, since it's easier to help myself, because I am myself. It's harder with others, because you need to convince them of the fact that you can help, while I don't need to convince myself.
Life really started making sense because of information you provide in the videos. I now know exactly why people do stuff they do and react how they react. I'm even able to easily listen to someone talk shit about me, be mean to me, be abusive towards me and the only thing I give back to them is my pure love, because I get that it's all an emotional response.
Thank you dr. K, the videos do help, but you just need to have the RIGHT APPROACH to them. Most people just haven't been taught the RIGHT APPROACH, if they did, then no one would even need a therapist :P. We just need to teach people the right approach to life and it'll all be good for everyone.
The videos supplement my therapy really well, and I'd made some strides, but I was continuously ignoring my and my husband's slipping health, that is, until we both got super ill simultaneously and it scared the crap out of us. My next session with my therapist was talking about how I didn't want to go to therapy because I needed to talk about this, but didn't want to - didn't want to acknowledge the reality of how I needed to change on some fundamental coping mechanisms that were maladaptive.
I was/am in that state of staying in the middle of the pool - not fully staying in the shallow end or shore with my head in the sand, still doing mental work and recovering from trauma, but also not pushing myself to make the changes that I have clearly identified as contributing the most to keeping me from my goals. Brains are dicks in the way they keep convincing you that you really don't have to deviate from the baseline you've established.
I had to fight for a lot of years against something i did not knew that it exist because i never red about it, but after a lot of struggle i looked up my problems and found that mental illness is a serious problem and started to looking for help. I would say my depression is gone by now after like a year and the actually only reason why i watch your content is to keep it that way and i have to say it works really really good for me so far and with your content i could even help some of my friends because i just could understand things a bit better and for that i m grateful.
The best way to get the most out of Dr. K (for me) is to take notes as I'm watching so I can reference back to them at a later date instead of rewatching long videos. There's been a lot of times I went back to my notes and was like "oh yeah I forgot about that tip" but I'm sure I wouldn't remember anything at all if I didn't write it down. I do this with multiple self help TH-camrs so it's all in one place. Also the more you watch the videos, even the ones that aren't relevant to you, you start to see similar advice popping up again and again which reinforces what you need to do. But you also gotta actually do those things, especially the meditations which I thought were dumb at first but they really help. Seriously. Thanks Dr K ❤
"Take that info and see how it *could* be right."
The foundation of my thoughts as someone with high "trait empathy" and off the charts "openess to experience"
It has served me well lol
When Dr. K gives me some insight, I take notes. Then I revisit my notes, I reflect and analyze myself for day or two. And then I post my final thoughts in my public. Cuz I have this thing - I always try harder for other people, than for myself. It automatically makes me give more effort and dig deeper when I try to come up with a post that makes perfect sense. So while I write a post, sometimes I come up with conclusions that I wasn't even thinking before. If you only watch Dr. K's content, I don't see how it can be helpful. It's like watching videos about programming without taking notes and practicing.
I used to watch Huberman videos all the time and came to the same realization. Then I started rewatching the episodes with a word document titled as the title of the episode. I would take notes and them quiz myself a week later. If I knew less than 50%, or I realized that I hadn't applied any of it, I would either rewatch the episode, or at least re-read the notes. It's been a few years and I'm really happy to say that I've been able to retain and apply some of that information. I'm also a linguist, so that helped me remember the jomenclature and in medicine, most of the terms are self-explanatory, so if he uses the term limbic-friction or anticipatory proliferation of neurons, you don't have to read the definition...it's right there. You just need to practise resisting stuff, or remember to sometimes walk faster...and then that triggers a memory of the episode about spinal nerves and you remember that if you walk faster, there's less pressure on your spine and more pressure on your legs...so you're exercising AND fixing your back...then you remember the research on tje benefits of walking. There is such a thing as an upward spiral and it's as unavoidable as the downward one. No mattwr how fked up and miserable you feel and unablw to fathom being better, just remember that you don't have to have all the areas of your life fixed tomorrow...do what you can. In the meantime, see your fked up situation as part of the process. Don't pressure yourself into getting better. We all know how attached we can be to our depressed identity...fkn negotiate with that proclivity...our dumb depressed brain won't even notice it's getting better until it's too late....and tjen you'll just...be a little better. I'm speaking from experience. And as for the effort part...you just gotta do it. You gotta walk, you gotta wash the dishes, you gotta maintain hygiene. Not every day, but almsot every day. If you haven't showered today, please, go have a shower and then go back to your hunched position, chainsmoke, hate tje whole world, go back tk whatever it is you were dojng before the shower. But now you smell better. I bet my life that will make you at least think of a time you had a reason to smell good, or at least clean. Maybe it's the same shower gell you used to use regularly with your ex, who knows....doesn't matter. Do something. You don't have to feel better whole doing it or afterwards, jist do a little something. Anything. Cut your nails. Throw out the trash. Doesn't matter.
Fantastic video! One thing I'd like add is learning how to clear your mind. Electronic devices like phones and computers stimulate our brains constantly with different content, which makes it harder for us to enter this meditative state, in which we are aware of ourselves. The only way to connect with yourself is to be with yourself. The most common way to clear one's mind is focusing on breathing slowly.
What's interesting is that once you've reached this "clarity", you'll notice that there are several inner monologues playing in your head, which might say very different things to you. The key thing is to notice these and understand that they don't control you, if you don't let them. These monologues can be negative, positive and even neutral things your mind simply brings up from your subconsciousness. Anything from "I suck at life" to "I wonder what I should eat". Some come and go, but some might repeat themselves many times. The goal is to process and stay above them. If you jump on to the negative monologue train, it's hard to get off when you let the emotion take the wheels.
I am glad to say that these videos have helped me change my life for the better over the course of the past couple of years. They're a great source of information and inspiration when I find it difficult to get moving towards mental progress, or I find my mind too clouded to figure out a good starting place before navigating to the right answer myself. They always remind me to take pause and really let the information sink in so I can properly apply it. It's not perfect all the time, of course; that's just human nature, but it helps a ton, and I am incredibly appreciative of that.
I recognise that watching videos is partly a substitute for doing anything. Although I'm mainly watching to learn the words, to learn the size and shape of the problem I am in, which started out like being in fog - I have problems, but there was nothing to grab hold of or tell me which way to go. Also, I like the way Dr. K speaks, which gets through to me. I have "don't recommend channel"-ed so many other youtube therapy channels...
But therapy is expensive, doubly so when I would have to take time off work to attend, so lose income. And therapists are in short supply, especially male therapists who understand men, and desperately needed by people with much more acute problems than I have. I'd love to see a comprehensive review of AI therapists like Wysa and Lotus, and advice for using them effectively.
It's not super cheap either, but still a lot cheaper than in person therapy, have you considered online services like betterhelp? I found a great counsellor through it and it being online and very flexible allowed me to do it at home after work. Very, very helpful.
Once you realize that no one is responsible for you except yourself and that you changing is no longer conditional on others changing, you'll begin to change for sure.
Perhaps, but it's still going to require the effort to begin the transformation. Many people recognize their problems, but are incapable of change, because they lack the will, help and/or the idea of where to begin.
Watching videos is like doing groceries. It gives you the "ingredients" to improve. But if you just do that, the food rots in the fridge and you're still hungry.
You NEED the ingredients/information but you also NEED the recipes AND to actually do it. Without follow through, you're still starving yourself.
Knowing better, isn't doing better.
It's sucks and it's hard and that's all true. For real.
It's easier to keep watching (replace the rotten food) then it is to do the recipe. Especially when it's the first time and you're hungry.
Thank you for all your content. It's been helping me "cook" much better.
I forget which video it was but the one where Dr. K was talking about how change can be done without external effort was literally one that changed my life. It didn't happen immediately but once I understood that the core of improving my life was taking a step back and examining my internal processes, something clicked. I stopped binge watching youtube videos and listening to audiobooks at 2x speed and started slowing down my thought processes to better absorb what I was learning. That video single-handedly gave me the ability to actually apply the self-help content I had been learning.
Thank you for this video, for it was really what I needed to hear today.
Having the illusion of doing the work to get better (even in good faith) just increases anxiety for me. And I didn't understand why.
Actually DOING the work to get better, as uncomfortable it may be, is really what's going to help to heal.
I can't say that this content has changed my life at least not yet, but the entertainment, the counter intuitive solutions, the information that's articulated in a simple yet detailed manner is invaluable, not to mention, very accurate. I find myself agreeing with some of the stuff Dr.k says if not instantly then after a period of time, when i've had the time to put more thought into it. I'm one of the people who tries to make the effort, but has a hard time being consistent, however I have seen improvements with meditation alone, i feel better, and my overall mood is simply better, it's difficult to be consistent with it, but when I am it's certainly a step closer to changing my life for the better. About not changing your life through content, i feel like that's a given, you're not gonna change your life without being accountable and putting in the effort, I don't think any self-help consumable can be held responsible for it.
It sounds weird, but I tend to challenge what you say & tangent down the road of whatever the topic like I’m having the discussion with you, sometimes for up to about an hour. It pushes me to think outside the box & has lead me to some epiphanies for myself of what I thought I hadn’t known. Thanks for the great work over the years Dr K
I personally cannot attest to this more. Whatever youre watching, action is so so key to making significant changes. I went through a big phase with self development books and finally stepped off the hamster wheel when I realised I was just using it to feel good and I wasn't making any changes or applying my 'learnings' to any effect.
It's been a long time but I finally found content in Dr Ks channel that I not only enjoy watching but actually find applicable, so I'm really grateful for that. I also appreciate that just consuming content at least orientation part of your mind in the right direction, even if it's a glorified excuse to not have to change or some kind of self soothing mechanism. At some point, like me, you may realise its time to stop consuming and self soothing and start the much trickier and often difficult road to real change.
Thank you so much for this. I totally agree, but I've never heard someone voice it this way before (or at least if I did then it didn't stick with me) and it's refreshing.
I started my channel partly as therapy for myself, but in some way actually because of what you're saying in this video. Every video I share what is working for me, but I also emphasize how things just don't work for everyone - and with it how we can't just watch a video with tips on how to do something 'which will fix our problem'. I've never really known to phrase it this way, but I now realize what I always mean is to indeed 'manipulate the information'. Partly different from what you're intending to say I think, but I feel it's the same subject? Like don't just agree or disagree, don't expect said tips to be super awesome or downright terrible. I always tell people to 'find what works for YOU' as opposed to just taking everything literally from YT videos or books or whatever (and either think it'll change your life or like you said think it's crap and maybe even bash someone about it).
We are all just such different people and what works for one person doesn't for another. And yes, it takes (hard) work. And it may be extremely difficult. But I think it's so worth it! I don't think one piece of advice is necessarily either awesome or awful (okay there are exceptions...). Rather I try to think about it from their perspective and try to see what (version of it) would work for me and my life. And I think that is something that could be helpful to everyone. That extra step of 'okay but how could I make this work for me'.
Okay I'm about to sound like a commercial now and I'm not even sure why I'm commenting this anymore, haha. I guess it's just that you said some things that really hit home I suppose and then my mind goes into all of the reasons why.
Not sure if you'll even be reading this, but if so: thank you so much for highlighting this 'part of the coin' of watching self help / mental health videos.
Oh and as an answer to your question on why I'm watching this: because my friend told me to ^^. Thanks, Noon:)
You're welcome ! Loll
I'm a boomer, and been through psychotherapy and all that, so a lot of what you've said about trauma for example was already something I knew and had been told by my therapist at the time. I have all this knowledge but at the time I was not able to process the feelings and do the work in order to get better. I could spend 4 days a week speaking and getting advice but nothing registered on emotional level. Autopilot. I was in a relationship with a narcissist who at first I praised to my shrink but slowly she started pointing out, you know, your spouse does not seem to be all that awesome as you first told me and the more you tell me about the real life daily situations, it seems he is not only controlling but heavily abusing you. (I do this eith everyone, I alwyas want to give the best impression of my spouse even tho the truth is something else). Anyway, the reason I am watching your content now is to get a quick reminder of what was discussed in real life with a therapist years back and then take action also in real life once I am back on the loop so to speak. Yes, I still try to use logic my way with emotions but at least I am gonna give therapy another chance.
When I first got recommended a Dr K video I never really watched any self help youtubers or any of that crap because what do they really know? What made me watch that very first video and stick around was that amazing youtube feature underneath the video that said, this youtuber is a legit doctor/therapist whatever it says. To me this knowledge is professional help it is coming from a professional thats why I stuck around. I unknowingly found myself doing what you said in this video before i even watched it. When i first discovered the channel I did "bingewatch" a good bit of it but throughout each video i would pause at certain moments and reflect upon the information being given to me, and after that first discovery I took a break and fron time to time ill watch a video, and I would deff say my life hasnt completely changed, but there deff has been small improvements in my mental health overtime. You truly are a true human being and you're doing the world a great favor. Continue to watch, reflect, challenge, apply and take a break watching this mans stuff it does really help and do wonders
good points. Just my experience...the long game has always produced results for me. when i rush things they usually fall apart.
ever since I found dr K I've made radical changes to my life. Just a few years ago I was shy, awkward, depressed, and unsure of myself. Now I have finally found who I aspire to be and am making incredible progress. I'm remarkably fit, smart, and social. I know it sounds a little like bragging here but I honestly don't think I could've turned my life around to be this content with being average, yet still able to improve, without the help of your videos. Thank you very much
Dw you're not bragging, humility, although useful, has been blindfolding individualism with our society's will to make us fear to stand out from the shape it needs us to be... Embrace your progress my guy!
What did you start to do to be more social? I'm curious because that's what I'm trying to be
Can you let me know which videos helped you the most? As I am watching Dr K for a year now but I think that's not much progress. Its just becoming brainfog after consuming so much videos. So, if you can help in pointing out the exact one's so I can give them a fresh start and also what actions did you take to improve yourself and made it a routine because I can't make myself do something unless its literal death situation if you know what I mean😅
I really appreciated this video. 1st thing I really appreciated was that it reinforced how I use Dr K's videos to practice how I temper my mental skills to have healthier mindsets. Examples being practicing the topics I find exciting, targeting my state, etc and saving those videos for reference when the details become hazy or by challenging how I thought things were working and found this new info was better than my old info. The 2nd is the realization that no matter how much better we get at impacting our growing selves, there is always more to develop and the 3rd thing, I appreciate, is the constant reminder that our minds can be real pitfalls without discipline. It may not be intended in the videos but it is really helpful to me to be reminded, almost with every video, to discipline further in every facet of life that is important
Personnal note:
7:30 In order to understand my behavior. I am having hard time to applying in real life about the knowledge that I learn.Hard to he consistent and to follow my pre-plan sketshuld.
8:04 How to manipulate information:
Challenge the information, questions your own opinion and to try to understand other perspective
Engage informations.
12:34 bombarded information = surrender to critical thinking.
* Have your own judgements and opinion
Passive learning ≠ to improuvement
Binge watching ≠ to improuvement
* make a recall about the information that you learn and let it sink in the mind.
*Give it a shot
The thing about self improvement in an area is that it doesn't take that long to actually learn the things that will improve your life
The hardest part is to be consistent and commit to the changes
My pastor said something years ago about prayer and faith that stuck with me, which is "God will let you know what you need to do, but you need to take the first step to do it". The message is that you can do all the thinking about manifesting in the world, if you don't do anything to obtain those results, it'll be impossible to achieve them.
Personal Summary (mostly for me to look back on):
- our minds make progress difficult by relying on false markers of progress/shortcuts (“virtue-signalling” equivalents for mental health progress: just watching dr K videos without taking any action or doing any of the things recommended in each video).
- Passively watching Dr K doesnt replace actual action and isnt the same as putting in effort to improve.
- reconsider your intentions when starting a Dr K video (“why am I watching this video? am I going to actually do anything after I watch this video?”)
- try to apply the information/practices in the video (e.g. do the meditations)
- “manipulate the information” and play around with the ideas posed in the video, and don’t merely consume to consume/self-soothe (e.g. evaluate and consider the content by challenging the arguments/recommendations, or try to think of ways information you disagree with can become correct and change your perspective, etc.)
- engage with the information (e.g. post on youtube or the subreddit) or just think about the information.
- change isnt immediate.
[Side-note: I love the phrase “we have surrendered our capacity for critical thinking”. The reminder that we are **actively participating** in our own brain rotting and giving up our own autonomic ability to think for ourselves is haunting; I forget sometimes that I can control my own media consumption and have some control over the algorithms in media]
I write this here because in my opinion there is no other place where I could write this.
So, in one video he was mentioning "Care giver Burnout" and since then I’ve been looking into burnout itself and I have come to the conclusion that this applies to me, but I have a partner with depression and cleaning behind them is a pain in the ass. Every damn time I try to talk about doing the whole household, cooking, cleaning, clothes washing, bringing the trash outside, even caring for the animals that I didn’t want to in the first place (I love them now). I just can’t take it anymore. I want to start to get a finances degree in 2 years but as it is now, I have a merely 4 hours of free-time a week where I’m not too tired to do anything.
We both work 40 hours a week, I work during the week and my partner has Sunday and 2 other days of the week off. They don’t do shit on those days either. Like when I work from home and see them do absolutely nothing while the cats do their "please clean the litterboxes“ meows.
I think with the ending analogy it’s like watching the videos is diet and that help and is half the battle but you still have to do the other half to really get over that hurdle I.e working out and actually doing an action
I have a special interest in psychology and mental health, so no matter what i always end up taking some information that ends up sticking in my brain that i often revist at later dates when i meed to apply it to myself. So even if i hear something that i know i wont want to apply right away, i know that the information is there in my brain and i can always revisit the video when im ready to apply it.
I find that when i binge watch, im either ina mood where im wanting to have deep intellectual conversations but have no one to talk psychology with, or ehen im trying to find something productive to do instead of thinking about my addictions. Its easier for me to put on a video and zone in and out than to try to work on a project. In a way i still feel like im being productive without having to actively motivate myself
I'm a woman in my late 30s but your videos have helped me a lot. I really love what you're doing, speaking to young men and giving them support they need 😄
I love your username. And yes it is, a lot less people would have been depressed and suffering I feel like if it was the system of the world. I feel like we're living the crack medicine and witch doctor era like in the middle ages for the political science and its going to take a long long time for us to realize it. Hell it took over 2000 year for just one person to realize and analyze the capitalist means of production and how our society develops over time \
I recognize that Dr. K gives good advice and I definitely see how his tips would work. I just don't really think there's any point to trying to make significant changes at my age and with the state of the world now. I think I really only watch Dr. K's videos out of curiosity to see what he gets right and wrong about me. He gets a surprising amount right.
*watches this video knowing nothing will change*
everything won't change
Keep yourself surrounded this content like he said 2-3 videos per week maybe after some time you will get a little spark to change .
Also try to keep thinking about this like he said that can help
My life is completely different since starting the videos and I come back to a few of the greatest hits pretty frequently. What a tremendous resource.
I have changed an unimaginable amount from watching Dr. K's videos, so this definitely doesn't represent all of us!
Great video all the same
Can you tell which videos specifically helped and what actions did you take? As its been a year of watching Dr k vids for me, and i cant see much change in me
@@markydoe3719honestly his older videos (>2 years) helped me the most. Try his mental health boot camp webinars and motivation playlist. Those vids are basically all of Dr K’s best philosophy imo. Also his “15 rules of life” was pretty good.
The will to change, not just thinking to yourself "I need to change", but actually want it in your heart, is actually quite hard.
Something interesting I've noticed based what I've seen compared to my field of study, is that a lot of people share information that is very likely true for their situation, but not necessarily true for someone else's. We all know about overstating/exaggerating a point for views. I'm talking about things like "This [one thing] causes toe walking." When in reality, over half a dozen things can lead to someone walking on their toes. Sharing information can be amazing and true while simultaneously being incomplete. So, I'm glad this video encourages critical thinking.
As a behavioral coach for K-12 students I consider myself a salesman for healthy thoughts and actions. I am happy to have words for what I am doing when I congratulate kids for disagreeing with me sometimes. I ultimately just want to talk about self-awareness and let them make it personal to themselves.
I basically got the totally opposite experience from this person. I watched your video on anhedonia and it cleared up a few things... I am an analytical kind of person so once a bunch of symptoms seamed to fit, I decided to try out the method you suggested... I also had a problem with weed, actually, you mentioned in one of your videos a guy that uses it to get rid of the social pressures and that is how it works on me as well (also I get a huge improvement in concentration, something I used to struggle a long time with and still do, just to a way lesser degree).
To keep it short, I quit weed some 3 weeks ago and stopped doing a bunch of things that distract me, it is hard but I am starting to feel things again... Once I am done with the process I will have to check that switching between addictions video, I can recognize that I do this with a couple of things (mostly with weed, coffee and energy drinks and it is really hard to break the cycle)...
Anyways, thanks for talking about a bunch of stuff that people go through, I feel as it has helped me to understand that most of the things happening to me are not only happening to me and it helps me relate to others (since I am a bit anti- social as well and generally do not like to be around people and groups for a longer periods of time).
I started watching your videos... I stopped with pornography, social media in general and I don't even touch my cellphone anymore... And I also got a girlfriend.
And all of that literally happened in the last month. Thank you!
There's another video on this channel about how to grow without doing anything, which perfectly illustrates how to use these video's to grow, especially if you are in those beginning stages where it's hard to actively practice the advice. I really recommend it!
The tl;dr of the vid is basically:
1. Watch one video at a time
2. Spend some time actively thinking about it (through journaling or walking for example)
3. Give yourself time to let it sink in.
I really found that after that video, I started to grow far more from each subsequent dr K video I watched!
Your, Gifted Child Episode gave me an aha moment and now can lead me in taking the positive direction moving forward. But, I generally try to limit your videos to 1-2 per week as it this shouldn't be entertainment but education.
Do the hard thing you need to do most and dont look back. Sometimes you literally got to say one word, take one step, spend one minute towards something to make progress.
Your videos help me get out of my alcohol addiction thanks! The addiction 101 video is great!
Awesome! Please keep doing what you do! It’s very very very helpful
I’m self aware enough that the reason nothing changes in my life is because I did not have the motivation to change in the first place.
But I guarantee that when something you care about comes your way, anything you choose to change will change. Be it love, respect, or even just utter ego. Change can be made as long as the person is willing stick with it until it’s second nature.
I often ask myself why I feel or think the way I do or try to understand people how other people think the way they do or feel. Specially when there beliefs or how the think goes against what I believe.
I always try to understand rather than to go against them and start attacking them or going into defensive mode.
Think it comes from the fact that from a very young age I was always interested in the history of different cultures and also still am interested in different cultures and find it fascinating how different people's cultures, manners, ethics, etc can be just from living in a different part of the world with different climates, nature etc.
Thank you Dr. K, your video really helped me today. I think I'll get up tomorrow and start doing better.
The video title pretty much sums up my whole situation for years and yet I still think that this won't really change the dynamic, thanks anyway mister HealthyGamer.
HG’s content helped me start understanding why I was socially anxious and challenged me to actually look at people which has really been helpful. It was a tangible step I could take whenever I felt alright with being uncomfortable. Now I am learning conversation skills and can have fun interactions with a much bigger range of people than I could before.
To get advice that can be applied in baby steps have been a game changer for me
Thanks for making this and convincing me to at least try again. I can't even count how many times I've tried therapy/medication but well being off one of them isn't helping much so you convinced me to at least find a provider online and book an appointment with them. I wish you guys accepted my insurance haha but well sitting on my butt being lazy on TH-cam isnt going to change anything for me and it took until watching this to really realize that
wow this video transformed my life! thank you healthy gamer GG for making such great content. Your video's make me think that i just have to believe in myself and just have fun doing the things i want to do.
One of the problems I have is figuring out how to apply it to my life and makings things work for me. I LOVE this channel and i absorb the knowledge and even though I struggle I try to pass on what I have absorbed to others readily bc they may be able to apply it to their lives still. I suffer from anxiety depression have adhd and autism. So I have issues with routine bc adhd and my autism makes things not so straightforward for me though i wish it was so i am constantly trying to figure out how to make it work for me
I have a saying re mental health: "If something's strong enough to have beneficial effects, it's strong enough to have side effects". It seems that this applies even to Dr K vids.
personally i am in therapy but these videos are a good supplement (not substitute). they're incredibly informative and well made.
I've been feeling like this for a while. I listen to content so I can self sooth whenever I'm feeling stressed, but then I feel like I have to be paying attention to the content instead of working. One of my many problems is that I feel so scatterbrained all the time, and I've reinforced the habit of listening to content so much that I start to feel anxious if I'm not listening to content. It's gotten to the point where I even listen to podcasts and things when I'm gaming, and I will specifically chose games that are less entertaining, but will allow me to listen to content/podcasts/etc.
I've gotten marginally better over the past couple of weeks (out of the 3-5 years that I've known it was a problem) but I still feel like I've dug myself into a pit I can't get out of.
This video has transformed my life, thank you so much Dr K :3
"challenge the information" and me: !!!!!! I'm not going to challenge that one 😂
“You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make it drink” comes to mind.
Can give people all the info in the world, if they do not use it correctly or actually apply it that’s on them.
Eh. Yes sure. But there are better and worse ways to get the horse to take a sip.
@@smirbelbirbel You really don’t get the metaphor then. 🤷♂️
I personally do not act much on the specific tips in the videos, however I do tab out of the game (yeah I know, multitasking not good, bla) pause the video and take notes. I wouldn´t say it´s completely Terraforming my live choices, but I do think a lot about it, compare it with other stuff I listen to and read and this process slowly nudged me into a direction where I feel a lot more confident being able to take on my problems. Slow but steady, I guess.
I´m not a fan of stuff like meditation and organisation (not saying it doesn´t work.) for some reason my brain just completely refuses such concepts. Probably because I tried that on and off for years now during different therapies. But the deep dives into certain thought processes and tips on how to alter your thought patterns are really helpful to me.
Well, that´s how I steer through the great sea of self help content.
BTW, just in case you read this Dr. K, I´d be *really* interested in your takes on Cognitive Disengagement Syndrome ((CDS) formerly known as sluggish cognitive tempo, SCT)
I´m getting into Russell Barkleys work quite a bit lately and this one completely shocked me because it´s about I´d say 90% on point about my problems that I still have despite MPH medication.
Thank your for doing what you’re doing, providing what you provide, one suggestion I may add is your have a global audience, some of which can not afford any extra content over and above what it costs to subscribe too TH-cam. So perhaps how do we address what content do we subscribe further, and further and further. Baring in mind exchange rates etc. this may be a blind spot , I’ve not watched enough, however, truly appreciate what you’re doing here.
as someone that was helped by your content, is not what I did, is what i stopped doing
I think you video's are great and am often intrigued by your point of view. Some people don't understand that you are not here to treat any specific mental disorder, but to educate on mental health in general. Some people might not need you guidance, but besides that you inspire many, in fields ranging from psychology to neuroscience.
Its like watching cooking shows while being hungry: You can learn a recipe from the video and try it out - but solely watching it won't bring the food to the table.
I’ve had several dr k videos change my life, but I also don’t binge them. I’ll watch one or maybe a couple that are on similar topics, and take some time to digest them
I find your videos highly informative and valuable, especially your recent video about subvocalization. I take your content as supplemental to overall mental health, not as a panacea. I think that's the distinction that some are failing to perceive.
For me it is like finishing, most of the content is okish but not something that is actionable for me ( and this is ok), then a few come and they hit good and increase my understanding of things as they either force me to reconsider my stance on this or connect with something I've been thinking about. I always like to listen to the content of this type while playing something repetitive but fun ( Dead cells ^_^) and if what is being said is clear and resonates I will actually stop playing the game and re-listen the video in order to extract actionable items or write an entry that exaplains to me some of the observations. I kind of like doing this IRL I call it "podcasting mode" where sometimes when I'm drained of "social energy" I'll become passive and just listen to my friends talk only activating once I'm recovered or something really clicks.
I'll give it a chance. Right now I should be doing my finals works for my last semester of university. It has been difficult to focus, but I'll keep moving.
"We have surrendered our capacity for critical thinking" -- YUP
Your videos changed my life. Only thanks to them I diagnosed myself with ADHD, which was later confirmed by a doctor. I'm learning to live at 33 now.
6:18 rejection sensitivity video did kinda change my life
One word before watching this video: ADHD. At least in my case. And till I got help and am medicated, nothing will change just like in the other 3 decades of my life. I hope others are aware of that possibility as well :/
I personally went through changing my life radically for the past 5 years. I still have a habit of watching videos even if I don't really have the problem that stated in the video. But I may had it in the past, so it helps me to understand myself better. But it does not change my life, there is no such goal now
I'll leave this comment in an attempt to manipulate the info. I don't know if I want to change right now. I'd like the benefits of walking up early (more time to do my own things, self satisfaction of being "one of those morning people") without the work of going to sleep early and then getting out of my bed earlier, so maybe that's my current problem. One thing that holds me back is that I can think of previous examples when I did wake up early but just fell right back to not walking up early, which is a different problem (that of how to continue a good habit rather than that of starting one). I wonder how can someone balance the acknowledgement of previous failures, the one-step-ahead thinking of "will I forever be stuck in this loop of trying and not succeeding", and actually taking action to succeed. 😅
I've had a hospital capacity evaluation recently, was told I'm being held for the night, tried to leave anyway, got restrained, while wearing shorts, knees got cut up good, didn't have a good time, would not recommend resisting :)
I used to binge watch a lot of Dr. K but stopped doing that and now only watch one video from time to time when I feel like I can give it the most attention possible. But even with that, nothing has changed lol.
So from now on I'll try to actually do what is being advised in a video and won't allow myself to watch another video until I do the thing.
At the 6:12 I was like “Oh wait it’s me”
And at the 6:15 I just like “hahah so it is’t me?”
Dr K really got me in that moment, I really didn’t expect this so laughed hard
I've watched nearly all Dr K videos and I've actually changed a lot, so couldn't be me
I watch your content because I like the conversations. If I learn something to help with my mental health, then that is a bonus!
I bought the guide a few months ago. But it has taken me until yesterday to start using it. Because I wasn't ready to DO the thing.
But I finally started.
I think it would be helpful if you put your sources in the description, so that viewers can learn more about a topic than what is in the short video
I watch HG vids every time I exercise. Strengthening my arm and brain muscles
this is actually good cause I watch one of your videos and I am like great I am gonna do this now but then I want to apply it but idk how to ok I kinda do but I just continue living as before I do think about but still kinda going nowhere but it is still good cause you start thinking more deeply about things and the whys and hows etc
Dr K., just fyi. I discovered your content because I used to do behavioral therapy out of college but recently joined a mental health company as a training and development specialist and wanted to re-educate myself on mental health and clinical psych stuff.
Not sure if I'm the only one but there may be other professionals who find your content useful in a CEU type of way.
The will to change is definetly there for most people i'd say who watch Dr K. But the real challenge is over coming the part of your brain that has normalized the place you're currently at. No matter how unhappy and miserable you are, I have noticed that my mind is always fighting itself. So I assume others must have this issue too. Dr K is a rad dude and I'm happy I stumbled upon this channel. But people need to be careful of parasocial relationships. This channel is not a good substitute for a proper therapist who you are paying to help you. And above all this content can be used in a way that like the posts ex used it. As an excuse, or just a part of their doom scrolling. My advice to people like myself dealing with these issues is to get off the internet and chase your goals and desires. Just do it, don't let your old self get in the way anymore.