The Biblical Perspective On The Strong-Willed Child (Christian Parenting Series)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 6 ก.ย. 2024
- You guys asked us more parenting questions about “the strong-willed child” than any other topic (which makes sense since 92% of the hundreds of people in our story last night said that they have a strong-willed child). 😅
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So we took your questions to the experts @helpingyourchildbecome. With a background as a School Psychologist, Sunday School Director, and parents of 5 (including me - Adam - haha), and their current role as a Mental Health Counselor, Pastor, and Grandparents, they had a lot to say on this subject.
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A strong-willed child is someone who doesn’t say “yes” on the first time... or maybe on the second time... or maybe on the third time. (See the minestrone soup and potato story in their book. 😅)
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Speaking of their 2004 book, you will probably have a hard time finding it since they sold out, BUT... The second edition will come out at the beginning of the year! 📚🎉 Follow them at @helpingyourchildbecome for good parenting advice and to be the first to know about their new book coming out.
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Ok. Without further ado... Check out this conversation (full podcast length) on “the strong-willed child”. Subscribe to the channel to see another video in the parenting series coming next week!
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Our Website: www.dearyoungmarriedcouple.com
IG: / dearyoungmarriedcouple
"All rules and no relationship makes for rebellion."
Wow!
That really hit deep with me as a parent.
Thankyou for this video. Please pray that my husband and I will raise my daughter right. She is strong-willed, and no matter what I tell her to do, she does not do it. She will sometimes, but it's not consistent. I have messed up alot of times by acting out of anger rather than self control. I see where , as a single mom living with my parents, I was not responsible with her as a toddler. I was scared and was distant. I did do some motherly things but as far as discipline, it needs work. I want to be more submissive to my husband so my daughter can see how she should act and she can see a good example of us. But most importantly I want to raise her right in the Lord. Please pray for us. I really want the spirits guidance in this to do better and to get her on track. Myself as well.
Hi Karen, I am praying for you now. I also have a strong-willed son. It is a lot of work. I often got mad when he disobeyed and acted as I thought it was appropriate, thinking that I should do what my parents did. But, God showed me that my parents made mistakes and I need to avoid making the same mistakes, hence with humility I am searching for better ways to be a dad and husband. After hours of thinking, I accepted an answers that I already knew but was avoiding; praying at all times so God can give me direction and wisdom. God bless you.
I am in the same boat, Karen. I have made A LOT of mistakes, and even got to the point of depression. But I am pulling back out of that with a lot of prayer. Specifically for wisdom! Strong-willed kids are hard, so I think we can give ourselves an extra measure of grace with them. Try to find the areas of your child that you love. I have also noticed (and I think this is true for all children, but esp strong-willed ones- or maybe they just show it more) that his attitude follows mine! If I make a conscious decision to put myself in a good mood and be happy to see him, and be comfortable with myself and be calm, he will follow suit. If I am grumpy, he will be too.
My son is so strong willed. thank you for the biblical insight. I have been struggling. I have been trying to parent on my own. I am so grateful to have the light bulb go off I have to turn being a mother over to God.
What about such a strong will that even after spanking, they continue to be defiant and refuse to obey? Do you continuously spank w/o end? Where does the line between correction and abuse start with such instances? We have a three year old that is incredibly difficult to discipline right now. He simply does not mind. And we spank hard and consistently! It seems to make him worse and more aggressive…
Yes. Bc physical aggression creates physical aggression. Stop hitting your kid. Put the self righteousness down and try to communicate and connect and repair the damage done to your child by you.
@@KayCeeTX21 don’t have kids do you
@@BPRUWITME yes. I do. And I never had to physically assault and humiliate them…excuse me…”chastise” them to get them to follow directions either. This way of parenting totally ignores the fact that emotional health is important too and this kind of lazy self righteous parenting totally ignores the fact that wanting a close and connected relationship with your that is NOT based on fear is nearly impossible. It sets them up to equate fear and humiliation with love. Yes I have children and they are loving and kind and leaders in their schools and in their sports. I don’t need to physically dominate and humiliate them to feel in control. Any parenting philosophy that makes it okay to do to children what would be illegal to do to another adult is seriously misguided and detrimental to long term health and success overall. It’s the truth. You all know it is. If you were raised with this kind of parenting you know. You can say that as adults you now appreciate how you were raised so that you can reconcile the fact that you were humiliated and assaulted on a daily basis. I get it. But it’s the truth. Damage is done that is rarely healed and the cycle of violence continues. I hope your heart will heal before you visit upon your children the abuse that you probably suffered as a child.
@@KayCeeTX21 If you talk to your children the way you talk to strangers online, forgive me for not believing you are a "loving," "caring" human being. Bugger off.
Thank you very kindly (I wish the microphone was evenly readied for this) these questions and answers from scripture is excellent! Praise God 😊
It so important to teach our children self-control in a loving and safe environment is so true and the ramifications of not having this self-control as an adult is so true! Big like from us on this video!
This was so much more helpful than any secular parental teaching. Lightyears difference. thank you for shedding light on this important topic !
@ApplesWithPeanutButter Bible says “not to discourage your chidlren” my mother was not a Christian and she raised me in a tirant like manner and yes it wasn’t good because it wasn’t mixed with gentleness and loving kindness. If you don’t have these two other factors then of course it won’t work because we were meant to be loved and acknowledged by our parents. Sorry you grew up that way but so did I, do understand what you mean. On the same token, chidlren shouldn’t be left to make their own rules because then they will rule over you and you will make a total monster .
So there is a fine balance and once a person is truly born-again and filled with the Holy Spirit, only then can we truly be the parents that Jesus wants us to be.
He took me off drugs and a homosexual lifestyle, now I give attention to my chidlren and have a sober mind today because of Him. He is real and the only true God.
Please seek Him to truly know who Jesus really is. All you have to do is ask Him yourself. Other “Christians” do not represent Him properly because they are simply church attendants and speak christianese, but this doesn’t mean they are saved and on their way to heaven.
Just for those interested..correction Scripture mentioned is actually found in Hebrews 12:11 (not 1)
Thanks I was like Whaaat? That’s not there 😅
Thank you for this video. As a single mom, I needed this encouraging message that the chastisement is not abuse. I love how you pointed back to the relationship we are modeling to God.
This is really good and I’m so thankful I found this video! God bless
Thank you for the video. In it you said that you will add a list of 10 rules somewhere. I can't find them...
What we're the 10 standards he was going to mention at the end of the video?
Praise God for this interview,really learned a lot.:)
My grandson will just sit and laugh at me when I try to get him to listen .
He thinks it is hilarious to not listen.
No, it’s hilarious what you believe. Teach them reality, they will respond well to logic and reason. It you propose a view that is obviously untrue you deserve to be laughed at.
Their wisdom is amazing. Thanks so much for this video. I can't find them anywhere on social media. Do you have a link? Thank you.
Thank you so much for doing this video and providing instruction for parents so that they help their young get a god-honoring, parent honoring start. I would like to know if you are able to help people like me. I am not the parent, I am a wife to a father of 3 children who are now parents- and I am not their mom. As they started their own family, now with toddlers, my step daughter and her husband, for the first time in 12 years, have acknowledged and consider me to care for her 3 year old. Due to the distance of where they live, they are asking for 2-5 day watch, which include overnight stay for the little one. They do not use the Bible as their guide for parenting, they prefer psychology, and I am forbidden to spank.... Finally, my question is how do I deal with training and correction of a strong willed child, who is use to affirmation to her disobedience. Can you guide me to books or understanding on how to help my grand child, and use the opportunity to minister to the parents. I desire to honor the Lord with my influence and Commision to love others and share the gospel, and make disciples! May the Lord bless your ministry for your faithfulness to His Word.
Your parents book is called” helping your child become…” by Tim & Kirsten King
God bless you so much for this.
What is the title of your book?
Thank you! This is so helpful!
Chastening doesn’t mean physical assault. And what’s the line for abuse versus “correction” is different for everyone. A lot of very abusive ppl think they’ve done nothing wrong. If a spouse treated another adult that way these same ppl would advocate they go to jail. But we can assault small ppl who can’t do anything about it. This does not mean to be permissive but there is no room for physical assault ever.
Very insightful. Can you please share the Counselor's website? Is there anyway we get in touch with them?
Yes! You can reach them on Instagram: @helpingyourchildbecome
What’s the name of the book they are talking about?
Hello thank you for your video, I just wonder from what age can I start exercising discipline with my toddler ? She is 12 months and sometimes I feel she is too smal but sometimes I do feel she tests my limits. Thank you for your guidance ❤
Thanks a lot for this video, very helpful! What do you think of sleep training a baby and are there any biblical perspective on this?
@@OneDay38104 I've been praying about it and I just had unrest about it. Thanks for the response.
Hi Tonye. We recommend @takingcarababies on IG for excellent sleep training advice. I'm not sure what was being discussed as "harmful" or "not of God", but we pray you're strengthened by the wisdom in these videos from Tim and Kirsten, authors, parents, grandparents, and pastors. ;)
@@dearyoungmarriedcouple Thanks for the reply, I'll look into them. Amen! I've learnt a lot from your videos. God bless you.
Hello thank you for what you do. I have a question. I find myself warning my child to do what is asked or I will spank. Then after spanking one good spank where he starts crying because of it. I always seem to find myself scooping him up into my arms and holding him and talking to him in an embrace. Is this something that should be done or should leave him alone after spanking?
Just for clarification, do you mean you stop discipling mid-way through because he cries? Or you give him hugs after it is over?
You are terrible, abusive people. Please don't have children. I hope the ones you already have will be able to overcome what you've done and continue to do to them.
Obedience isn't a virtue. If you make your child do something they don't understand or want to do, they will stop once you look away. If you teach them why we do certain things and they understand that it's right, they will want to do these things, and you only have to help them get the will to do what's right.
You're not teaching your children to have self control to be successful, you're ruining them. I know from experience what this does to a child. I remember feeling like I'm not human in the eyes of adults. I remember feeling like nothing, including my own body, belongs to me. I remember being spanked and yelled at and now i shiver when someone makes quick moves around me. And i remember thinking "you're doing this because you're wrong. you can't explain why i should do something and so you just humiliate and hurt me - to shut me up. but you're wrong, and the power you have over me doesn't change that.". Your techniques didn't stop me from being rebellious, they didn't stop me from disobeying and following my own head and heart instead of my parents. They just hurt me so terribly im suicidal till this day.
DON'T DO THIS TO YOUR KIDS - UNLESS YOU WANT TO LOSE THEM FOREVER.
I agree completely disturbing 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
Jessica Bealer’s son Micah Bealer is an example of how NOT to raise your child. Getting advice from this Karen on anything is a sure fire way to have a kid in the grave from drug use.