Exactly what I wanted to say. Such a good friend, and she might be able to get the job, wife and mother, but she's proven she isn't fit to be a wife or a mother
You might want to edit this so it doesn't keep calling his "stbx" his "sister". Even though it should be evident to anyone listening, it still makes it sound weird.
The first time i did think it was his sister who didnt want him to see women naked but then was thinking "why didnt his sister tell him if she was there 2?"
Why is it that when people want to celebrate getting married they go to a strip club? It's like a person wanting to celebrate a decade of sobriety by going to a wine tasting. OP was spot on that the "friend" was far from ready to be a mother or a wife.
To them, it's like the last time they will be "free." Personally, I think that's stupid. If they are mourning the fact that they will be tied down to someone and need to be "free" even before their very own wedding, they shouldn't even get married.
It has gotten to be a "last shot of freedom," but I do remember reading that it was actually the opposite. The idea was to see if the bride/groom would resist the temptation to enduldge, as a means to test if they are ready and able to maintain a monogamous relationship. If the best man would catch the groom copping a feel, he'd be the one telling the bride and family in the morning.
@@Maninawigyes, and anyone who suggest or pressure the bride and groom to do nasty stuff to other people should be uninvited and blocked. That was supposed to be rule to filter out the fake people around the married couple. Too bad those were the days.
@@Maninawig Wow now it sounds a lot more logical, best "people" are there for the best interests of the future families, regardless of their loyalties inform in order to safe future. Sounds amazing because nowadays it's seems like a tale for children (I mean that people had higher moral standards and done things due to them having a foresight). I was also always baffled about strip clubs, strippers or escorts during bachelor party, "last breath of freedom" sounds like you don't need or earned the right to marry (though once again nowadays marriage is more like a slowly closing trap considering statistics and current trends).
@@MrMonnTM yeah. The odd thing for me about the "last breath of freedom," at least as it is practiced now, is that monogamy starts when you start dating, not when you get married.
My SIL was bisexual at one point before going fully lesbian. She married my friend’s brother in order to con him out of a kid and child support which none of us knew that was her plan. But it clearly was because after she got pregnant she immediately stopped sleeping with him and filed for divorce. They weren’t having problems so it came out of nowhere. She decided to do this, turns out, because of her old school catholic Sicilian father who had no idea she was gay. She wanted a kid and she wanted money to raise it, hence the quickie wedding and pregnancy to someone that she didn’t really love. It would pacify her father. So she drug us all to a strip club for her bachelorette party where men were stripping and dancing. Any time that a man approached me I quickly put my back to him and wouldn’t make eye contact because I genuinely love my husband. I had no intention of dishonoring him. His sister wouldn’t have cared because she dislikes him anyway. It was clear who the girls were who didn’t love their husbands very quickly. Only two of us refused to interact with the dancers and of all the women there-we are the only two still married to our husbands. The others accepted kisses, being touched and groped, grinding on the men, one was laid out on the dance floor being faux humped by a dancer etc. Some disappeared for way too long into bathrooms and we could guess what was going on in there. The other women also discussed dong sizes, the attractiveness of the men etc. Those women are all divorced. I heard one ran off and left her kids with her husband and skipped town with a new partner. No one ever saw her here again. So yes-the stories are true. It’s not just the men who cheat with strippers at bachelor/bachelorette parties.
its MOSTLY women who cheat at bachelorettes. just due to Male strippers being encouraged and female strippers dont generally want to have sex with average male clients. i would say 70/30 women cheat more at these parties
@@victoriamiranda-stotelmyre4382 who the HELL thinks that? its obvious based on male and female sexual behavior that women have a WAY higher chance of cheating at these parties.
I had to skip a lot of it so I maybe missed some stuff (sorry) but that’s marriage by fraud and she can’t be called human! 😡 She’s, how do the French say, Le Garbahge! 😩
I think it was sweet that this guy was best friends with and engaged to his sister. So sad it didn’t work out. Also lol for real that his friend made him complete the “project” while his wife was waiting in the kitchen sobbing the whole time and he knew his buddy was about to find out his sister/gf is a cheater. Amazing.
this story reminds me of two sayings in conflict, "how would you like to be judged on the worst thing you ever did in your entire life and for it to be all anyone saw when they looked at you" "Who are you to cry after destroying a life and cutting forever short"
If she felt so bad about it, regardless of her telling or not, why would she still be friends with her and go on a weekend trip with her? Only at that trip where he left did she go no contact with her...
How did the STBX stay friends with someone so vile? It's not like bigots hide their hatred for people who are even slightly outside of the stereotypical norms very well, and she even invited the "friend" to a Bachelorette party. Letting someone with malicious intent peer pressure you THAT easily into cheating says a lot about the lack of a spine the STBX had. At least she learnt the lesson and ended up cutting those hateful people out when they slapped her in the face with their hateful rhetoric.
I have met such women 1. She could have gotten jealous when they got engaged (why is she marrying and not me?) or 2. More seen in women, what she used was a skill often developed for community living (eg. you might hate Stacey's lawn Flamingos and talk about it behind her back, but never to her face as that would start a neighborhood war). STBX is fiercely protective of OP's looks, so befriending her requires you to be friendly to him.
When I get married my bachelorette party has been planned out: get breakfast, smoke weed, play Minecraft, eat pizza and then watch horror movies until I fall asleep. That’s it
Well yes the one friend who wanted to go to the strip club certainly did ruin a perfect relationship not just OP's ex. That one friend who was so keen to go to the strip club did want you two to end. Yes some people do have malicious intent and I guarantee you the one friend who was so adament in going to the strip club fits the malicious intent.
Her friend is the kind of person who would rather burn the lives of those around her to the ground if only to make them as miserable as her. It doesn't excuse OP's soon to be ex in anyway but that friend is toxic af.
Honestly, yeah. Usually I'm extremely prejudiced against cheaters, but in this situation - maybe it's OPs writing style - I hope they work it out. Everyone in their immediate family seems to be hoping for it. Not to mention, OPs fiance was pretty quick to call out her "friend" when it came out. The biggest issue I took out of it was the fact she refused to tell OP.
@@zzrroott6459 Welcome to the internet, where everyone treats a chat room or any social platform they can as their own diary that could be seen by 4 people or thousands.
@@gamerraider889agreed I believe she was truly remorseful and really wanted to forget it ever happened. Not the right thing but they are young and she was scared to lose him I think with counseling and building something new they could make it.
I will say that I am 30 minutes in and I cannot recall one cheating ex who has shown such genuine remorse as this one did. For once I can't simply chalk it up to simple regret at getting caught.
Honestly same, like I (f) have been cheated on before and I could never imagine forgiving that person. I have (according to my therapist) and abnormally high level of contempt towards cheaters even if I don't know them. I was about to cry throughout this story because its such a shitty situation and you can tell that she is in such genuine pain over her decision and I feel horrible for OP but damn. Just damn
@nulllex0099 my comment was based on the saying "you regret getting caught, but you have no remorse." While it us true that it cannot undo the past, remorse (not regret) is the only thing that can help us prevent the events from repeating, as it requires you to take all the steps needed to grow beyond whatever let you fall. In other words, regret is making the excuse that "it was only one tjne and I was drunk" while remorse is accepting the partner's request to break up, working on yourself, and even 10, 20 years later never drinking a drop of alcohol so that a night like that never has a chance to repeat itself. Like I said, finding a cheating ex in these stories with regret is a penny a dozen, but finding someone who actually has genuine remorse is a unicorn.
@Luke_existent People lacking impulse control tend to repeat the same mistakes. Odds are she would do it again. Plus, in taking her back he has reinforced her negative traits, putting the odds more in favor of history to repeat itself.
This guy must be pissed. He said he was gonna delete his post, so he never had to see it again, only for these shmucks from TH-cam to pick it up and make videos of it. 😂😂
"alcohol doesn't make you do things out of your control, it just makes your impulses stronger" THIS! I get so annoyed when people use drinking as an excuse. No matter how white girl wasted I have been, I have NEVER done anything that I would never normally do. It's such a shit excuse. Personally I would be completely fine with it, would be like helllll yea throat that stripper. However lying about it is shitty, and I understand why others like monogamy
There's a more detailed account on this, and I really think they were set up, and not just by the hater friend. Half of it isn't adding up right, and not just from the former fiancé not coming clean immediately. That 'friend' who just happened to have 'evidence' at the ready, but not the hater herself and the one who ultimately told, doesn't sit right with me. I hope they take time to figure themselves out and get therapy and maybe work on things, but it's clearly other parties at play in this than the standard 'cheating spouse' scenario
Just because you are friends with someone does not mean you condone their behavior 100% She could have been friends, and still decided cheating was wrong.@@CG-yb6zj
My only advice would be this: break off the engagement, and if you believe that she does love you and shows an appropriate level of contrition, take her back on the condition that you have to start completely over. You’re back to just dating, and hopefully in a year or two you can wear the engagement rings again.
Usually I am all for the "leave em to burn if they cheat" but honestly this is one of VERY few stories where I wanted them to work through it and get back together.
Yeah I'm pretty much a one and done, no questions asked, when it comes to cheating. But the way she's responded, handled the blowback, stood up for him, didn't make excuses, didn't minimize, didn't blame shift etc etc. This is one rare instance where I wouldn't totally hate the guy if he decides to give her another chance. Not sure if I would, but I'm not mad at the guy
Dude let her come back. Cheaters don’t accidentally cheat. She didn’t care about his feelings when she publicly cheated. She only cared he found out. That’s why she didn’t tell him. He’s a fool for thinking it was the only time. My father used to say, “it’s not a mistake if you learn something. It’s a learning experience.” He didn’t learn anything and all she learned was to hide it better.
This level of bitterness and pessimistic mindset is why most relationships fail. Not everyone that cheats is some diseased patient that needs to be cut off. Especially when substances are involved. There's plenty to learn from here if you actually stopped to think Cheating should definitely be a point where the relation needs to be stopped and analyzed very carefully, because it doesn't just happen in a vacuum. Breaking up isn't like an extreme option, but throwing out a good relationship spanning YEARS because of one moment is ridiculous imo. Slow it down, review the facts, see what went wrong and if there's a path forward with boundary setting, therapy, etc. If that doesn't work out, or if you can't rekindle your love, then dump them and move on. Just saying "all cheaters are the same, they deserve death" is childish and perpetuates ignorance. This particular relationship could have been saved sooner if people that cheat weren't held at gunpoint regardless of context. Even me saying this ik people will accuse me of supporting cheaters, lol. OP, in particular, does not strike me as the type of man who could have looked past it as easily as he said if she were honest with him. Doesn't make him a bad guy or the person at fault at all, but it shows poor self-awareness on how asinine people actually become when cheating is on the table.
@@Redhollow you do seem like you’re projecting. But to go to the point, substances can’t be used as an excuse. Neither make or female should take them if it can cause cheating. Getting that drunk or inebriated is already a disrespectful act towards your partner. As to holding them to the coals for cheating: the act of cheating is the final step of an already broken relationship. The moment they put themselves over the relationship, it was already over. That’s why cheaters always hide it. They know upon the act they have severed the ‘us’ or ‘we’ part. Intimacy shared has lost its value.
Being drunk is not an excuse. You can easily avoid these potential cheating scenarios. Cheating is a choice, even if drunk. She was not forced by anyone to go to the club, nor was she forced to give a bj to a stranger INFRONT of prople
Wait, @33:55 he says no one from the job was invited so people dont know hes engaged. But just before that, he said this woman he never met before mentioned not going to dinner because his fiance would be mad. Then they say she knew about the fiance because you told her but then you tell her again about your whole situation at dinner? The inconsistency in this short part makes this feel like fiction
It is certainly possible that the story is fiction and this is a plot hole. But, human memories are imperfect. Possible there was some details that were left out. Possible that there was stuff going on the OP didn't know about (such as maybe the engagement being an "open secret" at work.) Or maybe he got the order of things wrong. So while it might be plot hole in a fictional story, it might just as well be just the result of imperfect narration and faulty memory.
Im glad with how this came out. Hes a very mature and secure man. Anyone could make a mistake like that, not that its excusable, but with a group of intoxicated friends intentionally egging you on for something they know will be bad for you, it is an incredibly difficult position. I think it was good they had some time apart
I've heard this before, and the previous was more detailed and led me to believe it wasn't just the known hater friend who set them up to break up. The 'friend' with the proof is suspicious cuz while she said she was "covering herself" she could've taken those before or after partaking in those activities herself and lied about it. Especially since the main heat would be on OP and his (ex) fiance, instead of her outside of her, have ready proof. And if she was such good friends, and knew like OP the ex didn't normally get down like that, she could've easily talked her out of it or made warrent to LEAVE or the friend could've went home all together if she was so uncomfortable but stuck around long enough to get incriminating photos for something that "would've came out eventually" but only did because SHE talked first and foremost? Otherwise, even the hater wouldn't have said anything either and been cut off eventually🤷🏽♀️ I suspect foul play (hell, even a drink spiking to boot) and not just from one person. The Ex should've came clean immediately, but even I see how something like THAT isn't an easy type of cheating to bring up.
Idk, I think she's smart for that. You never know who will lie and who will burn everything to the ground for the sake of it or revenge. Plus it helps him know for sure. She might also just have had a strong moral compass.
Wasn't it mentioned in the post that the friend's wife found them already doing the act? She can definitely stop it but it wouldn't have made any difference because the the act was already happening. And didn't she leave immediately after taking evidence to protect herself? If she went home immediately and OPs friend didn't make a fuss about it, then they probably cleared that suspicion as well. Friend's wife was smart by getting evidence to protect her own relationship and OP too since the ex very well could've turned out to be psycho.
I'm proud to be who and what I am regardless of labels and I refuse to hold back on evil people becuse of who or what they are There are lines you do not cross
Absolute bs did she either not remember or only realise after 😂 "Got caught up in the moment" 😂 I have been drunk and i have been DRUNK DRUNK... none of those occasions made me not know what i was doing. If i go far enough, i won't be capable of even doing anything to anyone. She knew whay she was doing, drink is good proofing water... what she did is what she wanted to do, she just wouldnt do it sober or she would be more careful about it. Like not doing it in a room full of people some of whom she doesnt know 😂 Even if she told you right away it is the same situation. If you think it, want it, do it, you are done. And if anyone says shiz look at what he did, play videosgames and drink. She went way overboard. Almost as if she thought that was her last chance to do it with another before she got married 🤔
Even though I abhor cheating and don't allow traitors in my family, I can recognize a situation where forgiveness and second chances are warranted. I heard this entire story play out on the video and couldn't really find it in myself to be angry with OP's fiance. Her friends, most definitely, but not her or the friend's wife.
Big difference between her and friend's wife. He was never mad at his friend's wife either. She did what she needed to do to protect her relationship, and she was honest. Can't say either of those things are true for the fiancee. As is common for most folks who are empathetic and imagine the waterworks, I think you might be confusing sorrow at what she did with sorrow for the consequences she suffered. It was all navel gazing. At no point in this entire saga did she ever mention how she understood how what she did would hurt him, or how it would make him feel. No mea culpa about her blatant hypocrisy, given that she was the one who said "no strippers". It was only ever about "getting back to the way we were" or "I ruined a good thing", meaning, what the relationship meant to her. She wasn't mean, heartless, or in a complete fog the way some other cheaters are. However that doesn't change the fact that she was still only thinking about herself. The one thing she did right was to cut the bad influences off from her life. But we have no way of knowing if that lasted, or if she was able to get far enough to realize that she was culpable for her own actions and needed to change whether or not he would take her back. That will be key, because she needs to develop better boundaries with her friends, better insistence on standing on principles, and to step outside of herself when she screws up to identify precisely the impact she has. Without those, this will only fail again.
Don't you mean like 20th chance? She cheated. Had she came clean right away it would have been a 2nd chance. She didn't. She lied by omission every day. Every day was just like she cheated again. So no, this isn't a second chance situation.
@@AlyssaAllen.a I don't think "unfortunate" is quite the right word to describe it. Tragic, maybe. Fortune implies chance, unforeseen events, or some lack of control over the outcome. She did this to herself and was entirely responsible for the inevitable outcome.
The ai translator fed up 😅 She couldnt have felt that guilty since she only ended her toxic friendship after she faced consequences. She even planned on spending a weekend with her after the cheating...
I was assuming he went for an emo or gothic look so when he said picture Chris Motionless in a suit, I Googled Chris Motionless for images, most pics were him in casual wear or rock star outfits but there are was one of Chris in a fancy tux in full heavy make-up. That fit OP's self-description perfectly.
Anyone who gives advice like 'you can salvage it' isn't someone who you should listen to 😂 Don't ever take that advise, cut your losses and run or it will bite you again. It may be years, months, weeks, days somtimes even hours but as soon as you take back a cheater you are cheating yourself. They will do it again. Anyone who has been cheated on knows, most mentally stable people know that after the act it is over, no talk, no reasoning, no excuses, no reconciliation. Over and done and that is about as fair as you can get for the wronged spouse.
OP said he had no spine in a high school, but he still lacks confidence and options besides his cheating ex. It took him days to confront her while kissing her everyday, and when he finally did, he was super drunk and now regrets it saying to others to apologize LOL. He's worried about people's opinions regarding his appearance and feels insecure compared to her exes. I mean at least he got a job. The only person who is chad here - Alice. She wanted to fuck, she got it and moved on
You know I try not to be someone who points out stereotypes in situations like these but of course the dude with makeup and painted nails gives in to his cheating partner
27:11 How is any of that him being insecure? She cheated, never told him while he had to watch it happen via a video. That's called knowing your worth and gladly would say the same in the reverse if that happened. She didn't value him enough to talk about it, let alone the elephant in the room of doing it at all, so he found out third party with graphic detail.
Like the dude said, it wasn't just a mistake, she lied and covered it up. Also not finished, but hope he tells her what her friend said. Friend ruined his relationship, ruin theirs
Ok. For as much as I absolutely HATE cheaters, I could see the wayward fiancee getting an extra dosage of shrooms from the "friend". I still wouldn't have gotten back with her, though. She still kept a relationship with the "friend" afterwards, and she would have never told OP. That's still a reason for never trusting her again.
Why everybody says "you are a better man than me for giving her another chance"? He clearly is just delusional about "getting his confidence back" and is afraid nobody else will ever love him. Alcohol and drugs make you forget about consequences, but falling to peer pressure, cheering after it happened and the hiding it.... If this "guy" was real he would be as much of a spineless coward as all the other doormat stories on here
This is why you don't trust your friends coz most of the time they gave stupid ideas and at the heat of the moment it sounds nice....but i salute this brother you are a real man.,just be yourself and never let anyone affect you.,who cares about others opinions.,just listen to your heart brother...
Ngl, I hate that OP had to show all that emotional maturity but I actually like how this ended. It might not work out but you don't have to leave each other totally destroyed.
I always find it funny when cheaters try to bargain with their partner by saying they will allow their partner to sleep with another person. Like, dude, the reason they are so mad at you is because they don’t want to sleep with anyone else and feel betrayed because you did. You’re missing the entire point!
Desperation to feel equal is a problem. They know they have fallen down to a level they can't recover from, but if you do the same then maybe it can work out.
Am I mistaken, or do they never address why she did it, aside from "I was drunk?" I dont understand how people can throw away so much history over something so meaningless.
I just want to say this rn. If any of your ex's had issues with your friend of the opposite sex, and later on you sleep with them imo you've essentially proven them right. If friends is all it was, even single, nothing would happen. Its entirely possible to have a friend of the opposite sex, but I draw the line at "they were probably just insecure about our friendship" and "we finally admitted we always had feelings for each other". Those statements don't both exist in the same reality
Even if she was drunk. So f****** what!! That gives no one a license to cheat. She still did it, I don't care what a person says. This is the problem with people. They are always trying to use those types of situations. Being drugged, being high, whatever as an excuse to do certain things. Well those things have to get in your system some way. That means that she asked for a glass of wine or alcohol and she continually consumed them knowing that she couldn't hold her liquor, if that's the angle that you all are going for. So it doesn't matter if she was or wasn't drunk the point is she has no impulse control and that even if it wasn't this situation and she was home safe for drinking and they had friends over. Would she have screwed one of the friends? I mean this is the stuff you have to think about. It has nothing to do with alcohol She was the one that consumed it. Alcohol is stationary it doesn't get up and jump in your mouth, it doesn't get up and jump in your body that's something that you have to consume yourself..
Cheating is never and has never been a mistake. It's a decision that you willingly do. She was never going to tell him until she got exposed by someone else that was going to be her dirty little secret and somehow she convinced op to just move on like it never happened 🤦
I dont comment often, but man i am glad that he is still trying, despite what she did she still showed a lot of integrity and honesty not lying or letting people talk bad about him. She actually owned up to what she did and it clearly showed she loved him... But as the father said in the end he is a better man than me. I dont know if id have the strength.
If you actually regrated cheating you would not move on and keep presueing your hurt lover. No new partners and no new behaviors. Just updates to what you are doing and why. Complete and utter acceptance you mess up and pentance for actions. Then even if they move on you dont. Stay the steady course and hope that bird comes back.
I’d probably end up in the same boat. No matter how bad it would get, she’s not someone I can leave, and nothing could compare to how I feel for her. I get it
I got turned off from this story as soon as he started talking about how his best female friends started doing his makeup and jewelry on just like oh my god groansville
That clapback by OP to that friend was so true. That friend will be miserable for her entire life and is not wife nor mother material
Ikr like it's always the unmarried woman who tries to tell an engaged women or married women how to keep their man yet they don't have one 🤨😒
That burn was so wicked it had a blast radius.
@@boredpersonstory553 And it's always unmarried poor men trying to tell women how to be women and degrade them to the point it's abuse.
Exactly what I wanted to say. Such a good friend, and she might be able to get the job, wife and mother, but she's proven she isn't fit to be a wife or a mother
@Littlereddevil94 you good man?
You might want to edit this so it doesn't keep calling his "stbx" his "sister". Even though it should be evident to anyone listening, it still makes it sound weird.
literally i was listening to it without watching the video and was like,, wait what
The first time i did think it was his sister who didnt want him to see women naked but then was thinking "why didnt his sister tell him if she was there 2?"
Yeah.
Sister.
😂
Sweet Home Alabama
Sorry guys
Why is it that when people want to celebrate getting married they go to a strip club? It's like a person wanting to celebrate a decade of sobriety by going to a wine tasting. OP was spot on that the "friend" was far from ready to be a mother or a wife.
To them, it's like the last time they will be "free." Personally, I think that's stupid. If they are mourning the fact that they will be tied down to someone and need to be "free" even before their very own wedding, they shouldn't even get married.
It has gotten to be a "last shot of freedom," but I do remember reading that it was actually the opposite. The idea was to see if the bride/groom would resist the temptation to enduldge, as a means to test if they are ready and able to maintain a monogamous relationship. If the best man would catch the groom copping a feel, he'd be the one telling the bride and family in the morning.
@@Maninawigyes, and anyone who suggest or pressure the bride and groom to do nasty stuff to other people should be uninvited and blocked. That was supposed to be rule to filter out the fake people around the married couple. Too bad those were the days.
@@Maninawig Wow now it sounds a lot more logical, best "people" are there for the best interests of the future families, regardless of their loyalties inform in order to safe future. Sounds amazing because nowadays it's seems like a tale for children (I mean that people had higher moral standards and done things due to them having a foresight).
I was also always baffled about strip clubs, strippers or escorts during bachelor party, "last breath of freedom" sounds like you don't need or earned the right to marry (though once again nowadays marriage is more like a slowly closing trap considering statistics and current trends).
@@MrMonnTM yeah. The odd thing for me about the "last breath of freedom," at least as it is practiced now, is that monogamy starts when you start dating, not when you get married.
My SIL was bisexual at one point before going fully lesbian. She married my friend’s brother in order to con him out of a kid and child support which none of us knew that was her plan. But it clearly was because after she got pregnant she immediately stopped sleeping with him and filed for divorce. They weren’t having problems so it came out of nowhere. She decided to do this, turns out, because of her old school catholic Sicilian father who had no idea she was gay. She wanted a kid and she wanted money to raise it, hence the quickie wedding and pregnancy to someone that she didn’t really love. It would pacify her father. So she drug us all to a strip club for her bachelorette party where men were stripping and dancing. Any time that a man approached me I quickly put my back to him and wouldn’t make eye contact because I genuinely love my husband. I had no intention of dishonoring him. His sister wouldn’t have cared because she dislikes him anyway. It was clear who the girls were who didn’t love their husbands very quickly. Only two of us refused to interact with the dancers and of all the women there-we are the only two still married to our husbands. The others accepted kisses, being touched and groped, grinding on the men, one was laid out on the dance floor being faux humped by a dancer etc. Some disappeared for way too long into bathrooms and we could guess what was going on in there. The other women also discussed dong sizes, the attractiveness of the men etc. Those women are all divorced. I heard one ran off and left her kids with her husband and skipped town with a new partner. No one ever saw her here again. So yes-the stories are true. It’s not just the men who cheat with strippers at bachelor/bachelorette parties.
You are one of the good ones.
Thank you for this reply. Too many people think only the men act a fool at pre-wedding stag and hen parties.
its MOSTLY women who cheat at bachelorettes. just due to Male strippers being encouraged and female strippers dont generally want to have sex with average male clients. i would say 70/30 women cheat more at these parties
@@victoriamiranda-stotelmyre4382 who the HELL thinks that? its obvious based on male and female sexual behavior that women have a WAY higher chance of cheating at these parties.
I had to skip a lot of it so I maybe missed some stuff (sorry) but that’s marriage by fraud and she can’t be called human! 😡
She’s, how do the French say, Le Garbahge! 😩
Some friends aren't friends. Some relatives aren't relatives.
Wow that's a great quote I'll remember that
I think it was sweet that this guy was best friends with and engaged to his sister. So sad it didn’t work out. Also lol for real that his friend made him complete the “project” while his wife was waiting in the kitchen sobbing the whole time and he knew his buddy was about to find out his sister/gf is a cheater. Amazing.
this story reminds me of two sayings in conflict, "how would you like to be judged on the worst thing you ever did in your entire life and for it to be all anyone saw when they looked at you"
"Who are you to cry after destroying a life and cutting forever short"
If she felt so bad about it, regardless of her telling or not, why would she still be friends with her and go on a weekend trip with her? Only at that trip where he left did she go no contact with her...
How did the STBX stay friends with someone so vile? It's not like bigots hide their hatred for people who are even slightly outside of the stereotypical norms very well, and she even invited the "friend" to a Bachelorette party.
Letting someone with malicious intent peer pressure you THAT easily into cheating says a lot about the lack of a spine the STBX had.
At least she learnt the lesson and ended up cutting those hateful people out when they slapped her in the face with their hateful rhetoric.
I have met such women 1. She could have gotten jealous when they got engaged (why is she marrying and not me?) or 2. More seen in women, what she used was a skill often developed for community living (eg. you might hate Stacey's lawn Flamingos and talk about it behind her back, but never to her face as that would start a neighborhood war). STBX is fiercely protective of OP's looks, so befriending her requires you to be friendly to him.
Well he's marrying his sister did you actually expect someone who commits incest to actually be normal?
@@Queenofthatank he is NOT marrying his sister 😭
I live it, when a girl cheats reddit comes to her defense and say it's a mistake, but when a man cheats he's a dirty cheater.... hypocrisy
Simps i tell ya.
It´s crazy how strong but sensitive he is. I hope he will be happy!
a dude that does makeup and nail polish. what did you expect. thats basically why he got cheated on
@@zzrroott6459🤡
@@zzrroott6459 lol.... so true. He deserved it...
.@@zzrroott6459
@@zzrroott6459 damn you are pathetic
Came for the story, stayed for the gameplay.
SAME 😭😭😭 sometimes i get so distracted by the gameplay I don’t even hear the story and have to back up to the last thing I remember retaining.
The way he kept rebuilding the same thing over and over kinda made me irrationally angry,
When I get married my bachelorette party has been planned out: get breakfast, smoke weed, play Minecraft, eat pizza and then watch horror movies until I fall asleep. That’s it
Alice with that straight up fuckin' power move.
Alice wants, Alice gets, go Alice.
She pulled The Naked Man
we all need Alices from time to time in our lives
Works 2 out of 3 times, guaranteed!
He should've gone for alice
Well yes the one friend who wanted to go to the strip club certainly did ruin a perfect relationship not just OP's ex.
That one friend who was so keen to go to the strip club did want you two to end.
Yes some people do have malicious intent and I guarantee you the one friend who was so adament in going to the strip club fits the malicious intent.
Her friend is the kind of person who would rather burn the lives of those around her to the ground if only to make them as miserable as her.
It doesn't excuse OP's soon to be ex in anyway but that friend is toxic af.
Mate you are better than me.
I could never trust a cheater.
Lol some of the replies were accusing him of hating women??
Wtf, so women should just be able to do anything they please without consequence?
I feel so bad for the dad. You can just feel the disappointment emanating.
If all it took was alcohol, high fives and peer pressure…
This wasn’t the first time buddy.
And if it was, it won't be the last.
Taking back a cheater is so stupid
I absolutely hate when op takes a cheater back on probably fake reddit stories, but rare occurrence where I actually hope they work out
Honestly, yeah. Usually I'm extremely prejudiced against cheaters, but in this situation - maybe it's OPs writing style - I hope they work it out. Everyone in their immediate family seems to be hoping for it. Not to mention, OPs fiance was pretty quick to call out her "friend" when it came out. The biggest issue I took out of it was the fact she refused to tell OP.
bro this is a story. Not real. Its almost like a journal
@@zzrroott6459 Welcome to the internet, where everyone treats a chat room or any social platform they can as their own diary that could be seen by 4 people or thousands.
Spoiler but thank you for saving me the trouble lol
@@gamerraider889agreed I believe she was truly remorseful and really wanted to forget it ever happened. Not the right thing but they are young and she was scared to lose him I think with counseling and building something new they could make it.
I will say that I am 30 minutes in and I cannot recall one cheating ex who has shown such genuine remorse as this one did. For once I can't simply chalk it up to simple regret at getting caught.
Honestly same, like I (f) have been cheated on before and I could never imagine forgiving that person. I have (according to my therapist) and abnormally high level of contempt towards cheaters even if I don't know them. I was about to cry throughout this story because its such a shitty situation and you can tell that she is in such genuine pain over her decision and I feel horrible for OP but damn. Just damn
@nulllex0099 my comment was based on the saying "you regret getting caught, but you have no remorse."
While it us true that it cannot undo the past, remorse (not regret) is the only thing that can help us prevent the events from repeating, as it requires you to take all the steps needed to grow beyond whatever let you fall. In other words, regret is making the excuse that "it was only one tjne and I was drunk" while remorse is accepting the partner's request to break up, working on yourself, and even 10, 20 years later never drinking a drop of alcohol so that a night like that never has a chance to repeat itself.
Like I said, finding a cheating ex in these stories with regret is a penny a dozen, but finding someone who actually has genuine remorse is a unicorn.
@Dragonkin-ul6hfare you single by any chance
@@Forsaken_Chaostough shit. She chose to cheat.
@@kevinj1855 I agree %100 I am just remarking on how, for once, a cheater seems completely and genuinely remorseful
Op I'm so proud of you and wish you the best
Dam, all that shit only for bro to get sucked back in at the end
Love these long stories with a beginning, middle and best of all, an end ! Thank you
Wow, imagine OP was caught cheating and lied.Oh look it's different when the fiance does it
Well, I would say OP deserves better, but he took her back. So when this goes to shit he can only blame himself.
I mean, it doesn't look like it's heading in a bad direction at all
@Luke_existent People lacking impulse control tend to repeat the same mistakes. Odds are she would do it again. Plus, in taking her back he has reinforced her negative traits, putting the odds more in favor of history to repeat itself.
Sorry but the instent another guy touches you you can no longer touch me
I don't want the second hand contact
Being drunk is not an excuse. Cheating is cheating. OP should not go back to the cheater. He should have stayed with Alice.
The AI smells great in this one
😅
?
@@Jay-mj3lz I think he meant to say spells 😂
This guy must be pissed. He said he was gonna delete his post, so he never had to see it again, only for these shmucks from TH-cam to pick it up and make videos of it. 😂😂
Probably fake but if not, props to the woman telling OP + recording. She just saved a life here, before any kids or joint account.
"alcohol doesn't make you do things out of your control, it just makes your impulses stronger" THIS! I get so annoyed when people use drinking as an excuse. No matter how white girl wasted I have been, I have NEVER done anything that I would never normally do. It's such a shit excuse.
Personally I would be completely fine with it, would be like helllll yea throat that stripper. However lying about it is shitty, and I understand why others like monogamy
5:17 “I haven’t shown my sister any affection or had sex with her “ WTH
Despite what anyone may say about him and his style choices, if this story even is real, he stood his ground. Good for him
Normally I say not to get back with cheater but man, for this guys sake I really hope it works out.
There's a more detailed account on this, and I really think they were set up, and not just by the hater friend. Half of it isn't adding up right, and not just from the former fiancé not coming clean immediately. That 'friend' who just happened to have 'evidence' at the ready, but not the hater herself and the one who ultimately told, doesn't sit right with me. I hope they take time to figure themselves out and get therapy and maybe work on things, but it's clearly other parties at play in this than the standard 'cheating spouse' scenario
Just because you are friends with someone does not mean you condone their behavior 100% She could have been friends, and still decided cheating was wrong.@@CG-yb6zj
She was definitely wasted but not drunk….. wtf???
You can tell that he was bullied because of how he responded to everything.
Ops ex talking about she can forgive him if he cheated and told her but she didnt give him that same grace like wtf
So who was his wife here 🤔
His stbx.
His sister.
Her sister.
His old school friend.
Merry poppins. 😂
yeah I was curious if this was some how becoming sweet home alabama due to the AI changing it from stbw to his and or her sister xD
Begging people on the internet to apologize to each other is a bold strategy
My only advice would be this: break off the engagement, and if you believe that she does love you and shows an appropriate level of contrition, take her back on the condition that you have to start completely over. You’re back to just dating, and hopefully in a year or two you can wear the engagement rings again.
Usually I am all for the "leave em to burn if they cheat" but honestly this is one of VERY few stories where I wanted them to work through it and get back together.
I'm glad I'm not the only one that felt that way
Why
Yeah I'm pretty much a one and done, no questions asked, when it comes to cheating. But the way she's responded, handled the blowback, stood up for him, didn't make excuses, didn't minimize, didn't blame shift etc etc. This is one rare instance where I wouldn't totally hate the guy if he decides to give her another chance. Not sure if I would, but I'm not mad at the guy
Last 3 minutes made me sick to my stomach
I agree. I am firm believer of leave the cheater, but you can tell that this girl really loved him and would have never made the same mistake again.
Notice how it's always typically the father apologizing for the daughter's disgusting behavior.
Dude let her come back. Cheaters don’t accidentally cheat. She didn’t care about his feelings when she publicly cheated. She only cared he found out. That’s why she didn’t tell him. He’s a fool for thinking it was the only time. My father used to say, “it’s not a mistake if you learn something. It’s a learning experience.” He didn’t learn anything and all she learned was to hide it better.
This level of bitterness and pessimistic mindset is why most relationships fail. Not everyone that cheats is some diseased patient that needs to be cut off. Especially when substances are involved. There's plenty to learn from here if you actually stopped to think
Cheating should definitely be a point where the relation needs to be stopped and analyzed very carefully, because it doesn't just happen in a vacuum. Breaking up isn't like an extreme option, but throwing out a good relationship spanning YEARS because of one moment is ridiculous imo. Slow it down, review the facts, see what went wrong and if there's a path forward with boundary setting, therapy, etc. If that doesn't work out, or if you can't rekindle your love, then dump them and move on.
Just saying "all cheaters are the same, they deserve death" is childish and perpetuates ignorance. This particular relationship could have been saved sooner if people that cheat weren't held at gunpoint regardless of context. Even me saying this ik people will accuse me of supporting cheaters, lol. OP, in particular, does not strike me as the type of man who could have looked past it as easily as he said if she were honest with him. Doesn't make him a bad guy or the person at fault at all, but it shows poor self-awareness on how asinine people actually become when cheating is on the table.
@@Redhollow you do seem like you’re projecting. But to go to the point, substances can’t be used as an excuse. Neither make or female should take them if it can cause cheating. Getting that drunk or inebriated is already a disrespectful act towards your partner. As to holding them to the coals for cheating: the act of cheating is the final step of an already broken relationship. The moment they put themselves over the relationship, it was already over. That’s why cheaters always hide it. They know upon the act they have severed the ‘us’ or ‘we’ part. Intimacy shared has lost its value.
He a better man than me
There's more time spent in this video addressing the redditors than the actual story.
She fell under the influence of an evil "friend" that specifically hated OP.
Being drunk is not an excuse. You can easily avoid these potential cheating scenarios. Cheating is a choice, even if drunk. She was not forced by anyone to go to the club, nor was she forced to give a bj to a stranger INFRONT of prople
Wait, @33:55 he says no one from the job was invited so people dont know hes engaged. But just before that, he said this woman he never met before mentioned not going to dinner because his fiance would be mad. Then they say she knew about the fiance because you told her but then you tell her again about your whole situation at dinner? The inconsistency in this short part makes this feel like fiction
It is certainly possible that the story is fiction and this is a plot hole.
But, human memories are imperfect. Possible there was some details that were left out. Possible that there was stuff going on the OP didn't know about (such as maybe the engagement being an "open secret" at work.) Or maybe he got the order of things wrong. So while it might be plot hole in a fictional story, it might just as well be just the result of imperfect narration and faulty memory.
5:18 "i havent shown my sister any affection or had sex with her". ????? did i miss something
Literally paused the video to find this comment. 💀
Sry guys it should be stbx😓
What is wrong with not having S with your sister?
5:17 ummm WHAT??!!
Sry that was stbx😬
You heard the OP, he's withholding the luving from his sister 🤣🤣🤣
Im glad with how this came out. Hes a very mature and secure man. Anyone could make a mistake like that, not that its excusable, but with a group of intoxicated friends intentionally egging you on for something they know will be bad for you, it is an incredibly difficult position. I think it was good they had some time apart
Mistake?
I've heard this before, and the previous was more detailed and led me to believe it wasn't just the known hater friend who set them up to break up. The 'friend' with the proof is suspicious cuz while she said she was "covering herself" she could've taken those before or after partaking in those activities herself and lied about it. Especially since the main heat would be on OP and his (ex) fiance, instead of her outside of her, have ready proof. And if she was such good friends, and knew like OP the ex didn't normally get down like that, she could've easily talked her out of it or made warrent to LEAVE or the friend could've went home all together if she was so uncomfortable but stuck around long enough to get incriminating photos for something that "would've came out eventually" but only did because SHE talked first and foremost? Otherwise, even the hater wouldn't have said anything either and been cut off eventually🤷🏽♀️ I suspect foul play (hell, even a drink spiking to boot) and not just from one person. The Ex should've came clean immediately, but even I see how something like THAT isn't an easy type of cheating to bring up.
Well there was probably time stamps, her husband wondering why she got home early from the trip, others confirming etc
Idk, I think she's smart for that. You never know who will lie and who will burn everything to the ground for the sake of it or revenge. Plus it helps him know for sure.
She might also just have had a strong moral compass.
Wasn't it mentioned in the post that the friend's wife found them already doing the act? She can definitely stop it but it wouldn't have made any difference because the the act was already happening. And didn't she leave immediately after taking evidence to protect herself? If she went home immediately and OPs friend didn't make a fuss about it, then they probably cleared that suspicion as well. Friend's wife was smart by getting evidence to protect her own relationship and OP too since the ex very well could've turned out to be psycho.
I'm proud to be who and what I am regardless of labels and I refuse to hold back on evil people becuse of who or what they are
There are lines you do not cross
Absolute bs did she either not remember or only realise after 😂
"Got caught up in the moment" 😂
I have been drunk and i have been DRUNK DRUNK... none of those occasions made me not know what i was doing.
If i go far enough, i won't be capable of even doing anything to anyone.
She knew whay she was doing, drink is good proofing water... what she did is what she wanted to do, she just wouldnt do it sober or she would be more careful about it.
Like not doing it in a room full of people some of whom she doesnt know 😂
Even if she told you right away it is the same situation.
If you think it, want it, do it, you are done.
And if anyone says shiz look at what he did, play videosgames and drink.
She went way overboard.
Almost as if she thought that was her last chance to do it with another before she got married 🤔
Lowkey this was such a wholesome story 🤧 I'm glad there seems to be a happy ending!
Stop apologizing. You were cheated on. Stop apologizing for being angry.
Even though I abhor cheating and don't allow traitors in my family, I can recognize a situation where forgiveness and second chances are warranted. I heard this entire story play out on the video and couldn't really find it in myself to be angry with OP's fiance. Her friends, most definitely, but not her or the friend's wife.
Big difference between her and friend's wife. He was never mad at his friend's wife either. She did what she needed to do to protect her relationship, and she was honest. Can't say either of those things are true for the fiancee. As is common for most folks who are empathetic and imagine the waterworks, I think you might be confusing sorrow at what she did with sorrow for the consequences she suffered. It was all navel gazing.
At no point in this entire saga did she ever mention how she understood how what she did would hurt him, or how it would make him feel. No mea culpa about her blatant hypocrisy, given that she was the one who said "no strippers". It was only ever about "getting back to the way we were" or "I ruined a good thing", meaning, what the relationship meant to her. She wasn't mean, heartless, or in a complete fog the way some other cheaters are. However that doesn't change the fact that she was still only thinking about herself.
The one thing she did right was to cut the bad influences off from her life. But we have no way of knowing if that lasted, or if she was able to get far enough to realize that she was culpable for her own actions and needed to change whether or not he would take her back. That will be key, because she needs to develop better boundaries with her friends, better insistence on standing on principles, and to step outside of herself when she screws up to identify precisely the impact she has. Without those, this will only fail again.
Don't you mean like 20th chance?
She cheated. Had she came clean right away it would have been a 2nd chance. She didn't. She lied by omission every day. Every day was just like she cheated again.
So no, this isn't a second chance situation.
Same tbh. I feel bad for her. OP is within his right of course but damn, this was unfortunate 😕
@@AlyssaAllen.a I don't think "unfortunate" is quite the right word to describe it. Tragic, maybe. Fortune implies chance, unforeseen events, or some lack of control over the outcome. She did this to herself and was entirely responsible for the inevitable outcome.
@@smallpseudonym2844 I can agree with that
I know people already made the comment about editing "sister" to "stbx" but lol dang. 😂
Once a cheater always a cheater. And op is such a doormat dawg
The ai translator fed up 😅
She couldnt have felt that guilty since she only ended her toxic friendship after she faced consequences. She even planned on spending a weekend with her after the cheating...
This is why am scared to listen to any of my friends who give me bad advice… this is so sad on many levels
If they give you bad advice, are they really your friends?
I want to call this dude a fucking sucker ,but honestly this is the first time I’ve been conflicted about getting back with a cheater.
Dude upset that his sister cheated on him.
If I deleted "to clarify" from OP's vocabulary this story would be 10min long.
I was assuming he went for an emo or gothic look so when he said picture Chris Motionless in a suit, I Googled Chris Motionless for images, most pics were him in casual wear or rock star outfits but there are was one of Chris in a fancy tux in full heavy make-up. That fit OP's self-description perfectly.
Dk why people are always so willing to ruin their relationships for a fleeting moment
As a former stripper I get his sentiment towards us. I respect op and their candor.
The insecurity here is crazy.
Oooohhh sister
We got here some hillbilly action today 😂😂😂😂😂
( I know its a error, but dang thats a fun one 😂😂)
Anyone who gives advice like 'you can salvage it' isn't someone who you should listen to 😂
Don't ever take that advise, cut your losses and run or it will bite you again. It may be years, months, weeks, days somtimes even hours but as soon as you take back a cheater you are cheating yourself.
They will do it again.
Anyone who has been cheated on knows, most mentally stable people know that after the act it is over, no talk, no reasoning, no excuses, no reconciliation.
Over and done and that is about as fair as you can get for the wronged spouse.
OP said he had no spine in a high school,
but he still lacks confidence and options besides his cheating ex.
It took him days to confront her while kissing her everyday, and when he finally did,
he was super drunk and now regrets it saying to others to apologize LOL.
He's worried about people's opinions regarding his appearance and feels insecure compared to her exes.
I mean at least he got a job.
The only person who is chad here - Alice. She wanted to fuck, she got it and moved on
You know I try not to be someone who points out stereotypes in situations like these but of course the dude with makeup and painted nails gives in to his cheating partner
i actually hope they manage to find the way to get it work again... and i usually i'm a very strong proponent of "once a cheater always a cheater"
Soon to be ex to sister to whatever this is
I’m surprisingly pleased with the ending
27:11 How is any of that him being insecure? She cheated, never told him while he had to watch it happen via a video. That's called knowing your worth and gladly would say the same in the reverse if that happened. She didn't value him enough to talk about it, let alone the elephant in the room of doing it at all, so he found out third party with graphic detail.
get checked for herpes and HIV . Why play games ??? Confront her right away .
Like the dude said, it wasn't just a mistake, she lied and covered it up. Also not finished, but hope he tells her what her friend said. Friend ruined his relationship, ruin theirs
It wasn't the first time and wouldn't have been the last guaranteed.
Ok. For as much as I absolutely HATE cheaters, I could see the wayward fiancee getting an extra dosage of shrooms from the "friend".
I still wouldn't have gotten back with her, though. She still kept a relationship with the "friend" afterwards, and she would have never told OP.
That's still a reason for never trusting her again.
Why everybody says "you are a better man than me for giving her another chance"? He clearly is just delusional about "getting his confidence back" and is afraid nobody else will ever love him. Alcohol and drugs make you forget about consequences, but falling to peer pressure, cheering after it happened and the hiding it.... If this "guy" was real he would be as much of a spineless coward as all the other doormat stories on here
This is why you don't trust your friends coz most of the time they gave stupid ideas and at the heat of the moment it sounds nice....but i salute this brother you are a real man.,just be yourself and never let anyone affect you.,who cares about others opinions.,just listen to your heart brother...
Ngl, I hate that OP had to show all that emotional maturity but I actually like how this ended. It might not work out but you don't have to leave each other totally destroyed.
Is the OP calling her sister or am I hearing wrong?
That might be stbx
The ai misread it due to sloppiness
you can know them all your lives, but they will cheat
I always find it funny when cheaters try to bargain with their partner by saying they will allow their partner to sleep with another person. Like, dude, the reason they are so mad at you is because they don’t want to sleep with anyone else and feel betrayed because you did. You’re missing the entire point!
Desperation to feel equal is a problem. They know they have fallen down to a level they can't recover from, but if you do the same then maybe it can work out.
Am I mistaken, or do they never address why she did it, aside from "I was drunk?" I dont understand how people can throw away so much history over something so meaningless.
I just want to say this rn. If any of your ex's had issues with your friend of the opposite sex, and later on you sleep with them imo you've essentially proven them right. If friends is all it was, even single, nothing would happen. Its entirely possible to have a friend of the opposite sex, but I draw the line at "they were probably just insecure about our friendship" and "we finally admitted we always had feelings for each other". Those statements don't both exist in the same reality
Even if she was drunk. So f****** what!! That gives no one a license to cheat. She still did it, I don't care what a person says.
This is the problem with people. They are always trying to use those types of situations. Being drugged, being high, whatever as an excuse to do certain things.
Well those things have to get in your system some way. That means that she asked for a glass of wine or alcohol and she continually consumed them knowing that she couldn't hold her liquor, if that's the angle that you all are going for.
So it doesn't matter if she was or wasn't drunk the point is she has no impulse control and that even if it wasn't this situation and she was home safe for drinking and they had friends over.
Would she have screwed one of the friends? I mean this is the stuff you have to think about. It has nothing to do with alcohol She was the one that consumed it. Alcohol is stationary it doesn't get up and jump in your mouth, it doesn't get up and jump in your body that's something that you have to consume yourself..
OMG YAY!!! It genuinely sounded like a horrible mistake for me the fact that they might get back together makes me incredibly happy 😭
Cheating is never and has never been a mistake. It's a decision that you willingly do. She was never going to tell him until she got exposed by someone else that was going to be her dirty little secret and somehow she convinced op to just move on like it never happened 🤦
I dont comment often, but man i am glad that he is still trying, despite what she did she still showed a lot of integrity and honesty not lying or letting people talk bad about him. She actually owned up to what she did and it clearly showed she loved him... But as the father said in the end he is a better man than me. I dont know if id have the strength.
Sister!? "SWEET HOME ALABAMA!"
I can’t even listen to this gross….SISTER! Fix it!
If you actually regrated cheating you would not move on and keep presueing your hurt lover. No new partners and no new behaviors. Just updates to what you are doing and why. Complete and utter acceptance you mess up and pentance for actions. Then even if they move on you dont. Stay the steady course and hope that bird comes back.
I’d probably end up in the same boat. No matter how bad it would get, she’s not someone I can leave, and nothing could compare to how I feel for her. I get it
The latest updates somehow makes me happy. Seeing coupples that have know eachother their whole lifes walking apart always breaks my little heart.
It really said " i I haven't been affectionate or had sex with my sister "...
I got turned off from this story as soon as he started talking about how his best female friends started doing his makeup and jewelry on just like oh my god groansville