Stop Being Desperate And Start Being Irresistible
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 15 ก.ย. 2024
- Hello lovers,
Today I want to talk about desperation and chasing vs ATTRACTING what we want. This is a two part series with the next video covering why High Maintenance women refuse to suffer so make sure you are subscribed so you don't miss when that one goes up.
I hope y'all are doing amazing!
Speak soon xoxoo
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you hit on the nail on the head with, "the things that you want may not want you." Words to live by!
Indeeed! :)
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Truth is being spoken! Never chase anyone, platonic or romantic! :)
Indeed :)
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20 year old me is crying listening to this but 31 year old me is screaming "PREACH" 🤣😅 we all HAVE to stop blaming and take accountability for everything in our own life or nothing will ever change.. I hope young women see this and take the advice as opposed to being offended!
Believe in God. Not "the universe" God created the universe and the laws thereof. I don't care if i sound like a "bible thumper" or any other slur for Christianity. My logic is: instead of 'praying' to the universe and waiting for the law of attraction to see you as worthy; Pray to the God of everything who created the universe and ordained all the laws and principles thereof. Believing in the "Universe" lead me down a very dark and sickly path. Believing in God actually saved me.
...
I believe in
1: changing your mindset
2: strategizing
3: making a start
4: mastering the skill
5: diversifying
6: Responsibility
7: making a quality effort no matter how small your role is
8: being Generous, Considerate, and forgiving (while also applying firm boundaries in the face of unacceptable behaviour, mind you)
9: analyzing your own behaviours before you blame or criticize someone else for your problems (this usually takes the steam and heat out of furious or petty emotions and reactions)
10: trust God with the rest and be at peace.
❤❤❤ i hope this found you well and i hope you decide not to hate me. Much love! I feel like alot of my points are reflected in the video as well but i just wanted to make a warning to anyone who might be falling down the rabbit hole of "the universe" as an entity or the law of attraction as a secret force.
Amen 💕🙏
Same
Amen! ❤️
I agree
I was wondering last to last year why men never found me attractive. I really chased him. I know. But afterwards i realized, i need to feel powerful on my own. I started buying good clothes, wearing makeup and basically upholding my standards. I am not in any relationship for years now but i feel okay with myself because there's no reason i shouldn't be. I am precious n I needed polishing and i thank your videos for making many of us realize that.
th-cam.com/video/W2UfrQNzHlI/w-d-xo.html j
Everyone is a precious being, some just cannot see nowadays...
Every word is so true and so relevant!
When my now-fiancé and I first started hanging out 4 years ago and I realized he might be it for me, I knew I had to make some changes, drop the party-girl lifestyle, carry myself respectably, and make sure I was presenting myself as a girl that he could take seriously. I did exactly that, and I’m now planning a wedding with the man of my dreams who loves me to pieces, treats me like a princess, and makes me feel like anything is possible.
These are wise words that every woman should hear and implement. I’m waiting for you to write a book!
i’m SO SO happy for you omgosh 😭😭
Superbly said, " Be the thing that you so badly want and desire!" ❤🧚🏼♀️🧚🏼🔥🌻
yes yes! And the thing is you CAN do that...and if you cant...thats cool too...just go find SOMETHING to make you happy and glowy :)
When she said you don't like yourself when you do things that are "desperate", it really hit me. I should attract. It's less work and more self-preserving lol
LOL “I had a lot of nerve asking the universe for a man who was the opposite of me”. 😂😂😂😂 Thats hilarious because that’s the boat I’m in right now lol
First off, thank you! Not to sound hyperbolic but your "high maintenance" series has truly changed my life. I found your series in one of the toughest chapters of my life after loosing my mom (my only biological family) I had let myself fall to depression. In the last week I've been binging your high maintenance and self care content and its propelled me to getting back to feeling like myself again. Thank you so much for making this and for being you XOXO
P.s. I'm a bit biased but I love the glasses on you!
I lost my mother last year. Took care of her her last month. I was strong, but I miss her so. I also feel a little traumatized. Lost my cat sudden in September. Ugh..I know I need to make 2022 a better year not only for myself but my daughters who are 18 and 26. I want them to be proud of me not worried.
I am so sorry for your loss. 🙏🏽
Thanks for sharing! I’m going through a tough time right now as well… And less than a month my cat had to be put down, my father died, and my boyfriend broke up with me. Definitely a dark chapter but I know that happiness and love are waiting for me on the other side of this.
Anyone that has lost a parent, can understand that pain and absence of that unconditional Love 💞 from that human being that loved us no matter what ... Blessings to all.
So tough loosing your Mum and then being your only biological family. Even tougher. This happened to me too. Much love on your journey ❤️❤️❤️
In some ways I’ve come super far but it still feels like there’s a HUGE disconnect between the person I am and the person I want to be- this content is so helpful to me
girl me too! something is coming that will show you guys how much I am also trying to figure this out as well. Me all made up in studio lighting talking a good game is easier than the work it takes to walk it like I talk it. After I went through what I went through with my panic attacks I realized I need to take this stuff seriously. And I might as well take yall with me :)
Before watching this video. Thank you Whitney! week before last i went through a heartbreak and spent days crying. Then it hit me, you have to get up and work on yourself as a young women. I’ve finally started going back to the gym, reading, and taking my beauty routine to next level for myself.
I love it!!! Get it girl!!
I will level up for myself not for attracting people. The really important thing for me is self satisfaction.
Swear, I like this guy for sooo long, 6 years. I like him so much it becomes frustrating sometimes. BUT, every time we cross paths I don't even look at him or utter a word. Cause i hate chasing. He knows i like him, you know that energy that you give off when you like someone, i always release that. But i hate chasing and i believe that what's for me will come to me. So i let him know that i like him but if he doesn't react to that, then he is not meant to be for me. So I let go
girrrrl....def let that go. not worth it at all.
I feel like chasing drains your soul as well.😪
I think there is a fine balance. There is great advice here, but ladies need to remind themselves that comparison is the thief of joy.
yeah i dont love the idea of comparison but I guess more...I have a better time finding direction in where I want to go when there is something I can kinda of..SEE or aspire to...but thats a good point that you made :)
It shows that you’re more mature than the regular beauty guru. I liked this perspective, thank you for the video
I loved your take on not expecting the world of someone who checks all your boxes for the ideal man, but you yourself not being what that ideal man would desire too. Some women have so much entitlement and want the cream of the crop but bring nothing to the table apart from their above average looks and body... come on girl, you gotta be more than that.
Just had this exact conversations with a friend. She wasn't ready to hear it - because I've lived a bit more life than her ( I'm older by a GOOD bit), I finally figured some stuff out on my own. You have to have enough faith in yourself to let things go when they no longer serve you. I sat and watched this twice, back to back because it resonated amazingly! I look forward to your next pearl of wisdoms.
Be well Whit - stay safe and healthy and Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy Everything!!!
The problem is always you. Profound and true. I’ve been rereading the Boundaries book and it says the same thing. Thank you Whitney for raising us up and challenging us in a positive way when things are hard. I appreciate you and what you’re trying to do here so much. ❤️
What boundaries book?
@@MsCloudcomputer it’s called Boundaries by Dr Henry Cloud. I highly recommend it! It’s got Christian themes a little but it’s great advice for anyone to manage their relationships with other people
@@reverie6034 thank you!
I'm absolutely enjoying these high value mindset videos from you Whitney 💕 Keep them coming 💫
Will do! Thanks for watching :)
"Love it or change it!"
So good!
Everything you’ve been posting has really resonating with me. I’ve been really desperate at times with friendships and I’m trying to just let things be. I will put effort in my friendships but ONLY to those where energy is reciprocated. I don’t want to be chasing one sided friendships anymore
Me and you both
The part about leveling up to get the job you've been wanting is correct. Yes, it's hard but if you do the work needed, you can get there.
My personal experience is from the job I've been at for 15 years. I decided about 5 years ago there was a leadership position I wanted. I kept being told I needed to "break out of my shell" and really get out there and been seen. This made me so mad and I was angry and bitter for a long time. I thought I could just keep being the person I was, and eventually someone would notice me and the potential I had. That was certainly not the case..
I finally accepted what I had to do and began public speaking and leading projects. Then, after completing a big project I led I was noticed by senior leadership and shortly after that the position I wanted came open and I got it!
Basically, had I never rose to that level I probably wouldn't have got the job.
I smile every time you say high maintenance now. Proud to be high maintenance and never desperate for anyone. Love love love these videos! ❤️
OHHHH MYYYY GOOOODDDD! The Gucci example just changed my life! There’s no way someone could be more clear or didactic than that! Thank you! I needed to hear all of this!
I've been girl B and I get where girl A is coming from but it all makes sense as to why girl B and girl A don't compare. I'm glad I don't allow myself to stoop low and hold myself as high as I do. It's hard to be the bigger person but it feels so good to be so.
I appreciate this video so much!!! I’m currently having a hard time with starting my own business and making a lot of excuses for not moving forward with my steps. Thank you 🥰🥰
When I first started watching this it really hit something and triggered me. I started to cry and cry. I finished crying and then realise I never want to feel unworthy like this again and so making changes is the best advice, thankyou so much. I didn't want to hear this but I really needed to
Listening to this video made me cringe and made me be proud of myself at the same time 😂 It made me cringe because I used to be soooo desperate and so needy I’d do anything for a man and I never knew why I couldn’t attract any men. Now I’m in a much better place mentally and emotionally and I am not desperate at all because I know my worth. I know I am a goddess and men should always treat me as such. If they don’t want to talk to me then that’s on them. I attract them & let them chase me now. I never do the chasing.
There’s a lot more I’d like to say but I won’t Bc I’ll be here all day. What I will say is it took me years to figure all this stuff out and took A LOTTTTT of mental work to change my old mental thoughts and thought patterns.
Just letting you know that it takes a lot of work mentally and emotionally to change yourself. And the real question is are you ready to make this change? Bc it’s going to be a lot of sweat and tears
I love this conversation! ITS A TOUGH ONE TO HAVE. But we are worth the (self) honesty and work it takes to change the way we look at ourselves in this great big WONDERFUL world.
Yeah and its SUPER freeing when you can just be ok with stuff like that too....its our negative feelings attached to our insecurities that is the actual issue. Because we can look at those feelings and either over come them or face them...only two options but either will set you free.
Awesome content. I truly believe that nothing good comes from being desperate. I've learned that the hard way. I've hit rock bottom so many times, I'm numb. But now, I'm in love with me, and I'm my biggest fan and most loyal towards me, not some guy that doesn't have any of the qualities that i possess. Put yourself first always, and you'll attract the person and things that deserve you. ❤️💋
Whitney, love your new content! I can relate to everything you've said. Step up, value yourself, say goodbye to the negative, hold yourself accountable, be the change you want!.
I love your pep-talks! You have the “strength” to say the things that we all think and (deep down) know that we need to do! Thank you!
She isn't lying I like your advice hun
Girl you’re here giving the business and I’m here for it 🙌🙌
I’m happily married thank goodness 😅 but! this video speaks on so many things.
I listened 7 times to your video today and I will keep listening untill I fully understand that!
I love this. I'm saving this to watch whenever I feel desperate for anything.
Omg.. Whitney..I dont know how you got on my recommendation but I'm so happy you did. I have definitely had this conversation with myself and yes I know I need to change who I am to get what I want! You described me in a situation that I was in with a man and I was girl A. However Im ready to change to be girl B and be that "it" girl. It may not be for that particular man but another one thst is similar that I like.
You are so right chasing is for the birds. I'm stepping into my feminine energy and walking into high value territory. New subbie!
This is so true! We need to become what we want. I’m starting my leveling up process but derailed a bit. I am committing to get back on track. 💜🎆
I so agree with your message. Thank you for the inspiration to be the best me.
Re. Rebecca from Accounts Payable though, who wants someone who is dating a woman he likes and a woman who he is dragging along?
Men definitely sense desperation or the lack of. How many times does a man text you randomly as soon as you're feeling over it or have a new date lined up? They know!
I love this so much and will take this info to heart because I’m in a spot where I can but tbh I don’t like the Gucci reference. Only because some people are stuck in their money situation and can’t get out. I’m technically broke because of debts etc but some people are poor and can’t get out of poverty because of the system.
I love your video though I just wanted to mention that because I want those watching to know that sometimes it’s not your fault that you can’t be where you want to be. Keep pushing though because there is always hope 💗
Forget makeup! You should be a women’s empowerment spokesperson!! 🤩 wow, such good content. Thought provoking!
Hey Whitney - just found your channel, I follow many LOA channels so that is probably why this showed up in my feed - but this was the message I needed. I've always known this & preached this myself as the reason I am not dating yet after my divorce (until I become more like the person I hope to attract) But I currently have a different issue - however the answer is the same - exactly how you explained. I was hit by a truck as a pedestrian a while ago. I've started interviewing new attorneys because I feel like I have attracted the wrong one (my current one) It's very tricky & tempting to be the angry victim (especially when you are the victim) I want & need a smarter lawyer, especially it this goes to trial. But I expel so much worried anxious energy each day over this that it's messing up that alignment that I need to tune into so I can attract the right legal team for me. Thank you, thank you for this reminder and how it applies to absolutely everything in our lives!
Blessings to you gorgeous Girl from your newest subscriber ~ Viki
Hi Whitney! Just wanted to say thank you! I always enjoy your content. You’re inspirational in a raw honest way and your beauty tips are so damn good. Sending love from Vegas♥️💋♥️💋
Great video! Don’t stop making these 🙏🏻. Love all the advice you give. Taking it all in, and working on myself. Btw you are beautiful!
Awwww thank you so much!
Never chase anyone. PERIOD.
Basically. RAS system in the brain. It’s job is to GET what you focus on. Super amazing. I love your videos. Thank you ❤️
“The things you want don’t actually want you” ouch 🤕
I watch a lot of these type of videos - you offered slightly different perspectives and did a good job with it. Thank you.
Sometimes what you see is not what you get
Whitney, thanks for being willing to share personal stories with us to illustrate your point. I greatly appreciate it and this content. 💜
I’m totally in alignment with your insight! Thanks Whitney! 💖✨
congrats baby! New follower here❤
Just what I needed at this moment
Thank you for being here ♥️
Becca from accounts payable took me out! 😂😂😂 Great video!
Great video as usual, but can we talk about that hair?! 😍🔥
Cool. Psyched to happen upon your channel. Thank you algorithms!!! Freedom!!!! No injections! Faith!!!!!
Girl… SO True! 🙌🏽
Omg sis , I’m listening to this during my lunch break and it was exactly what I needed to hear. Everything happens for a reason❤️
I think you look great in both thumbnail pictures 🤷🏻♀️
I love love love these talks👌♥
Me too! :)
I haven't even watched yet but just had to say I'm so glad to see you back 💕
Better to be not looking let things flow become the partner you seek
Most 'feminist' advice I've seen so far. Surprised. Hitting it out if the park
I love you!!! You’re a freakin’ genius!!! ❤️. You SAY what I’ve been thinking PERFECTLY!!!
Thank you! :)
As always, I just love you 💛💛🌻🌻
love you more xoxoxo
Great Advice and I always love your delivery ❤
Thank you so so much :)
Thank you! You inspired me with the introduction of my word of the year session 🙏
I LOVE these tough love videos 😃 thanks!
So welcome!
This is great advice 💕 thank you
Be that person it’s all mental be that person bring your vibrations high talk sweet honest words to yourself thank you so much so very true from guys to stuff
Wow…that is some tough love. Thanks for sharing that.
Thank you for this absolutely helpful video!
You know, I’ve been studying a lot of Dita Von Teese YT vids, not to copy her, but to learn how she conducts herself in her career and life. She is the epitome of what this video is teaching.
Again, thank you 🖤
Omg! She is my queen!!! Thank you so much!!
Did you read think and grow rich? Basically what you're saying and all true.
Every woman should see this
Absolute epic. 💯 NEEDED TO HEAR THIS. ORIGINAL. LOVE IT. MORE ON THE SUBJECT PLEASE 🙌
Theres a part two going up very very soon :)
All good points, but there are high value men who genuinely aren't attracted to high maintenance women. My husband is highly educated, a fabulous guy all round, conventionally handsome, he was routinely surrounded by accounts payable girls, bottle blonde high maintenance girls, he chose to stay away from all of them, because he wanted a geeky girl with relaxed vibes. To date, some 20 years on, he still prefers me in pajamas, glasses and no makeup (and a pixie crop!) ... he always says he's into what's between my ears, and would absolutely run a mile if I was a high maintenance bore (his words). Works fine for me, I'm in education, and while I love girly girl things, I'm glad I don't have to look flawless 24/7, or be an identikit carbon copy of some "high value feminine queen" prototype! ❤
Thank you for this ❤
The truest words ever spoken
I needed this real talk. Thank you ❤️
Oh wow I wish I had heard this when I was younger! I loved everything you said in this video...it reminds me of some bad times of my life, but learning from that is very important. Thanks for this video
Great advice Whitney . Thanks beautiful 🌸🤍🎀
Your videos have taught me so much 💜
I just love and appreciate your real talk! Thank you. ❤️
❤️🤗❤️Thank you for this video please keep them coming !!!
Here for the woo!
Enjoyed this video 🙏🏻
Thank you love!
Wow! Outstanding advice! This was my favourite video of yours so far. You nailed it girl. Thank you for that💋👌
Glad you liked it!!
Confirmation! 🙏🏽
Love your lipstick!♥️
I love your tough love ❤️🙏🏼
gotta whip it out sometimes :)
I love this. Ps you and your aura shine so bright 😍
This was sooooo good. Thank you for this.
As ~always~ ... Loved this video! Thank you!
Amazing video I love your candidness!
Exactly what I needed to hear, thank you! Xoxo
Hair tutorial please 🙏😍
Coming soon!
I'm Melissa in Accounts Payable lol
This is gold! Thank you!