I hope my son has a chance to watch this video, but if not I hope that he knows that I cared to find it. Stress is a part of this world, and how we perceive it is a key to happiness.
You got that right. When applying for jobs, they always look at whether or not you say you have hobbies. That's very important because it shows that you try to have some sort of a life.
@@Saber23 what do you want, his comments on 21st century warfare and the 2024 presidential race? His writings were a unique insight into the private thoughts of one of the most powerful people in the world in his time, and we can learn a lot from how he was able to rationalize his feelings and thoughts to himself and deal with the huge problems and obstacles he faced. That's it, doesn't need to be anything more than that tbh
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.andrew_james. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
We also prosper more in imagination than in reality. The novel À rebours is about a guy who retreats into himself in the countryside and "travels" in his imagination instead of traveling in person.
"For him who has conquered the mind, the mind is the best of friends; but for one who has failed to do so, his very mind will be the greatest enemy." Bhagavad Gita
@@Saber23 shut up! It's Hinduism. Stop judging and mind your business. These lines were already quoted way back before Seneca was born. And it's hard fact .. just because you don't know doesn't mean you will criticize. This quote is much more real than your own life. I swear.
Based on quotes that I’ve read, his books have that generic self-help vibe, but with borrowed ideas from stoicism. I’d rather read the original source material.
@@marcdellorusso180 It about making it more accessible to a modern audience. To each his/her own. A core tenet of Stoicism is that just because an idea was great once, does not mean it cannot be improved upon, or superseded by a new idea. Philosophy is about change, growing with the seasons, remaining present - By remaining adherent to an original text is one thing, but prejudging something as lesser because of a sense of "purity", well if that is the case, then one has missed the entire point of stoicism. But again, to each his/her own.
Im 60, if i could tell my younger self anything it would be don't worry. Thing is, my anxiety, and most people i know, have it worse now than ever. Its over silly stuff, it's almost like theres something in the water. Ive done therapy, councilling, and i resent the amount of time ive wasted, and continue to waste, feeling like this. I really dont have a stressfull life, i meditate, which eases it, but it is a pointless human feeling. Glad you enjoyed your visit here in England.
That something in the water comment, I agree. Suspect it could be the development of technology, smart phones and social media. A constant reminder of everything going on in the world, for over thinkers its not a good combination.
Same here. I would tell my younger self just chill out, don't be such a trainwreck worried about making a mistake. You can make mistakes, just focus on not making BIG mistakes
NEVER say sorry to anyone who has wronged you. If your abruptness, harshness or candor was expressed to someone in self defense, saying sorry will only empower them to feel their behavior was correct and that it's okay to continue their behavior. Let them stew in the wrongness of their deed. Eventually when their heart is in the right place they will come around and apologize to YOU for their behavior. Don't worry. It's okay to stick up for yourself.
Some people have difficulty with words(and/or their ego). And one can also express an apology through actions and implied speech. (Such as just being respectful, continuing a discussion or letting the water flow under a bridge to be forgotten about later). That is perhaps a bit more Buddhist rather than Stoic, yet I still enjoy the idea and see how many people often function like that.
I need to internalize this. I have this exact problem in my marriage. I stand up for myself. It's not the right delivery that my husband expects and then the focus is on my apology to HIM lol. Tbh then everything goes to shit and I don't know what to do anymore
So true. I had the thought come to my mind that. I’m not intentionally hurting anyone but rather I’m doing what’s best for me. If that means that I’m no longer friends with someone it’s not to be hurtful or spiteful but rather to honor myself.
"He who suffers before is necessary, suffers more than is necessary". Seneca is the man. He just described my life in one sentence 😂. Thank you for these videos. I have subscribed to your channel and hopefully, some of these teachings will help me overcome my anxiety.
0:00 - Intro 1:46 - Remember these mantras 2:39 - Choose how you respond 3:16 - Be mindful 4:07 - Shift your perspective 5:09 - Embrace your hobbies 6:45 - Be here now 7:38 - Everyone has to start somewhere 8:33 - Let it pass 9:11 - Keep going 10:00 - Don't have an opinion
I don’t know how this appeared in my feed but I really needed this. Struggling with managing my emotions while raising three little ones and the stress of work and life. Thank you.
The power of Stoicism lies in the understanding that we don't control what happens to us, but we control how we respond to it. As Ryan Holiday beautifully articulated in this video, we have the opportunity to practice virtues like courage, temperance, justice, and wisdom in the face of life's challenges. By focusing on what's within our control and letting go of our need to have an opinion on everything, we can cultivate inner peace and resilience. In today's world of constant stress and anxiety, these Stoic teachings can serve as a compass for us to navigate through uncertainty and find tranquility within ourselves. Let's continue to learn, practice, and share these timeless principles to create a more mindful and resilient society.
The problem I have with this idea of "control" is that using that word simplifies and misrepresents how the world works. No, we don't have "control" over much of anything, but we have a ton of INFLUENCE. Of course you can't "control" how people treat you, or if you develop cancer randomly, but you very well have a lot of influence over those things. Developing good relationships is a skill, a healthy lifestyle is a skill, and those skills (efforts) exert enormous influence on outcomes. Furthermore, it is very misleading to say we "control" our minds/reactions. Ask any therapist or psychologist about how outgunned the conscious mind is compared to the unconscious drivers of our thoughts and behaviors. Stoicism (like most philosophies and religious doctrines) seems to suffer from a sampling/publication bias: the people who get good results from it self-select to publish, evangelize, blog, etc.
Already posted this, but putting aside what this video specifically addresses, it can sometimes be ignorant and degrading to victims (especially in cases of rape) to enforce the idea that painful anger or despair is ALWAYS a choice. Trauma can be extremely complicated, and therapy doesn't always work. Furthermore, justice systems are mainly a social construct that can degrade and humiliate innocent victims and empower tormentors, a classic example being rejected evidence, corruption, and victim-blaming in rape cases. Even if a victim gets 'justice', petty compensation can't fix permanent injury or revive the dead - true justice is mainly a fantasy. It's not enough to simply 'glorify' stoic virtues and then promote attitudes that psychology victimize survivors of broken systems who don't conform to that mindset. People often try to simplify or belittle the pain of others out of a deep-rooted fear or misunderstanding of it.
I’m currently in the process of getting laid off from a company I’ve been with for over 10 years. It will be a drawn out process 18-24 months. I have 2 kids with the youngest being 1 month old. Your videos help so much with the obvious anxiety that comes with such a life altering event and makes me realize to shift my perception. This event is out of my control. I’ve tried my best. Do I drown in despair or do I view it as an opportunity to grow and take on the next challenge in my life. I’ll take the latter and thank you for helping me realize this. Your videos are truly invaluable.
Mind blowing I was looking for talks on recovery “God Grant me the the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference. This came on.
That's terrible im sorry. In a way im glad I never had kids. On the other hand perhaps id be further along because id have the pressure to support them. While no kids, I have gone thru what you are. A couple times. Only thing i ever found to help was keeping my debt and payments low as now im always expecting to get screwed. Im always thinking ill do plan B if A fails and vice versa. I try to not let it bother me but id lie if I said it didn't.
👸got laid off too. was crushed but it became one of the best things that ever happened to me. i regret 😪worrying, not letting go & not trusting the universe. no matter what happens: its a wonderful life ✨️ like the famous xmas 🎬movie shows us🤷.
@@matthebert007 You just cant trust employers. then most of us will never be business owners. I dont know, just another day. My record is getting laid off 7x in less than a year by the same employer. It didn't end well cause i finally lost my cool. I wont give details lets just say I wont be rehired lol.
As someone who's business just crashed, I really appreciate this video. It's strange how I'm not overly upset, because I can let go and start anew. Love the newsletter, too! TYSVM from the bottom of my heart.
She left me but i still want her and love her so much. She doesnt really care about me anymore but i think about her all day. Now im tryna become stoic so the pain stops
I'm a worrier - always have been, always will be, but I found not watching the news every day (I still read what I choose to read) has helped. It's too much for us all and we can't handle it - and for most of it, we can't do very much about the issues anyway, so I choose what I watch now, rather than have it dished up to me through the day.
I have a trigger temper for things that are not fair. I have learned to hold it in to think it over. I am to the stage that I have acted to heavily protect myself from anything affecting me. There is no one or anything I can't walk away from.
I found it good that if you are struggling or got unexpected problems just say "Good." that means you are still breathing and now you get to figure out solution to it
My daily stoic email is a beacon of stoic wisdom to start my day. It gives me solace especially if I read it BEFORE I start "doom scrolling" the news! I am 68 years old. Husband, Father and Grandfather. I'm building a mountain cabin for my wife and I to retire from lumber I milled myself after renting for 40 years. Year 8 of a 5 year plan but it is the greatest adventure of my life. I have disconnected from "normal" society and am concentrating on the things I have control over. The size of the lumber I need to begin my day, equipment maintenance, bringing a cup of coffee and kissing my wife when she gets up, sharing the challenges with my sons who are helping us build. The joy is in the adventure and it's not just about the destination. If you concentrate all your thoughts and energy on the destination then you miss 98% of your life. Be the Hero of your own life. I think people become the Hero of their own life when they get tired of being the victim of it.
"We must see to it as nothing takes us by surprise. Well, I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I do know what’s capable of happening - and none of this will give rise to any protest on my part. I’m ready for everything." - Seneca The idea of premeditatio malorum helped me a lot to overcome unnecessary worry, especially about the opinions of others. It helped me to overcome my fear and start my youtube channel about philosophy! Thanks Ryan for this video!:)
Man, my mindset is a rollercoaster ride. I'm capable of such highs but such lows and I have no idea how I'll feel the next day. I come back to meditation and mindfulness at times and find some relief but routine and self discipline is something I've lost grasp of, it's like my energy has been drained by a vampire and I'm left snappy and skittish. I think loneliness amplifies my negative feelings, it's hard to stay positive.
I’ve been struggling with feeling overwhelmed by the crowd of people that surrounds me. It only seems to get busier and more congested. I’ve been so negative about it. Thanks for this, it truly is needed right now.
This is part of the reason that ive given up all social media except TH-cam. And that might be on its way out as well. Being present is an awesome skill as it precedes focus and discipline thru lots of types of situations. Still working, but being able to "let go" and be present is life-changing
I've been interested in stoicism for a while now, and this video gave me a fresh perspective on the topic. The idea of practicing self-discipline and rational thinking is so valuable in a world that often feels chaotic and overwhelming.
This is really good, this is the same thought process I have taught my children. I was told at a young age that "the outcome of your life is only 10% of what happens to you, and 90% how you react to it" I still tell my grown kids this from time to time. My mom has also always told me "you choose how you are going to behave, no matter what happens you can choose to put a smile on your face and press on. Good message, stay positive and smile no matter what and it can be contagious to others.
I love this ❤ so strong- ❤❤ My Father knew I was an anxious kid and said Janey a coward dies a thousands deaths a brave person only one….It feels like I have died to anxiety many times and I just love the stoic philosophy. ❤❤❤
I saw a homeless guy a couple weeks ago wearing a hoodie that said "YOUR ANXIETY IS LYING TO YOU." It blew my mind. Whenever the worry-gears start to turn I think of this expression
Many thanks, Ryan. “Discipline is Destiny” has been my dose of daily pep talk to march consciously ahead when I don’t f*cking feel like it. Much gratitude. Keep writing 🙏🏼
I’m still new to Stoicism and there are good and bad days. I watched this on a bad day. Needed this. I watched this like game film and dissected the day. Can’t wait to journal tonight.
@Alexandra Albertz he's also hypocritical in what he teaches vs does. In case you haven't heard about how he treated his father because of who he voted for. Or how he feels about freedom of speech.
@Alexandra Albertz if Trump told you don't worry, stop stressing, everything is fine. Would it land the same as if a homeless person told you the same thing?
I needed this today. You have no idea, my man. Much appreciated. The universe responds once again. A van passed today with the words “open new doors” on it. My position at work is in jeopardy. 6 has always been my number and today it’s 6-6. God I want to be great…
I’m am so so so so so so grateful for you Ryan Holiday! Thank you for being the man you are and for working so hard to teach peace and understanding while being human! 😂🎉❤ You encourage me and you make sense, somehow you ARE my friend. Thank you for teaching stoicism. ❤
I gonna play this on repeat today. I need these reminders. I always try to be positive, stoic and better but sometimes, there are things that happen in life that just so bad and uncontrollable. And now, my anxiety and negativity is eating me. Hearing these wisdom, I felt better. Thank you for this.
This is the best and most wonderful video I have seen on this platform in a while. Thank you! People always say, "how bad things are in the world, their life, the country," and I always tell them and myself that it has always been this way but a different time period, a different "problem" the country is facing, etc... what is important is your health, family, etc.. I try to focus on my family, loved ones, and myself, not what everyone else is or wants or does! I can't wait to watch more of your videos has a daily reminder 💓 😊
Always remembering that death is been here since the beginning of Earth and you just willing to improve your life and that you should worry about whatever you lose when you willing gain.
- It never matters how much more someone else has to worry about compared to you because it’s your own worry, no matter how small, that is tormenting you.
Though all your videos have value, this one is particularly good, Ryan. And it feels like you personally have crossed some sort of inner threshold. You feel more relaxed, more settled into yourself... something's a little different... and better. The journey continues. Thanks for including us on your journey and sharing your insights and understandings. You're doing good in the world and helping to make it a better place.
I know about him during mid covid era..and I bought his book. Really change my life.. and wherever i lost.. i will keep coming back here.. stoicism is epic..
Love this- if we keep courage, temperance, justice, and wisdom as our "golden mean" it doesn't matter what happens in the outside mind- all we can do is control what is up to us- I love the term manage the mind and "meditacio malorum". A philosophy that I try to keep in mind is the non "occidental" philosophy of Waabi Saabi- perfection lies in imperfection
I'm old. Which means I've got plenty of experience. The thought at 9:44 was revolutionary to me. Are you going to despair? Give up? Or keep going... .... and do what you need to do? Whoah. .
The timing of this with the obvious corruption and witch trial going on in this country is exactly what l needed. It’s hard to not get upset but this truly helps.
The way you talk to yourself matters. It's not the thing that upsets you but your response to it. Don't suffer twice; once in the imagination of what may happen and second if it does happen. Have confidence you can handle it. I cannot control what happens, but I can control my response to it. Control your mind don't let your mind control you. Choose the way you perceive things. Good or bad; sometimes it's a difference of perception. Enjoy your hobbies; they rest your mind. You deserve to enjoy life. Everything you need is inside you where you are now. Do not fear failure. Be the one in the arena not the one criticizing the one in the arena. Be present and realize sometimes time must pass for a solution. Every situation presents two choices; a choice to see the opportunity or a choice to quit. Focus on what you can control.
I loved this video so much i needed to hear that again so won't forget that i have control over myself and i can be the change i wanna see in the world.. i also needed to remember that i can always retreat and find comfort within myself ♡ I'm gonna be happier if i lived in the moment and stopped letting external events change my emotions easily, but even those events are important for me to practice self discipline
Ryan ; Daily Stoic. ‘Opinions are like a**holes . We all have them and they all usually stinks.” Thanks for the daily emails. Stoicism bolsters my chosen faith. In doing so, it makes me a better and more complete human. Thanks (to you and the sages) for efforts in making me a better person.
Yes! So many people think about things that do not concern us and then it overwhelms them and they won't shut up about it. I'm still working on this myself too.
“When a mind is impressionable and has none too firm a hold on what is right, it must be rescued from the crowd: it is so easy for it to go over to the majority.” ― Lucius Annaeus Seneca, Letters from a Stoic
Worry is just being human living on life's terms helps me everyday but I am still human and thank God. I have a very small list of things that I hold to my heart that remind me it's going to be ok.
Ryan love your books, love what your doing for the world, Love the continued learning I received from you, If it makes you feel better, I hated learning till I encountered your books I’ve read every single one and do my daily stoic diary because of you and enjoy every minute, thank you thank you and thank you again, DONT MESS WITH TEXAS 😉😉😉🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🦅🦅🦅🦅💪👍👍👍
Hi Ryan, I watch your videos regularly and I just want to thank you for this content! It always really resonates with me. Also, I really love how you film and edit your videos!😊
The video discusses the idea that worrying comes from thinking that things are unfair or impossible, but that ultimately the majority of what happens in the world is outside of our control. The speaker, Ryan Holliday, presents three stoic one-liners that can help beat anxiety: it's not things that upset us, but our opinion about things; we suffer more in imagination than in reality; and things don't make us anxious, we make ourselves anxious. Stoicism is a philosophy that emphasizes that we control how we respond to what happens to us, even though we cannot control what happens to us. In my opinion, this is a great video that presents a lot of helpful information for anyone who is struggling with worry or anxiety. The speaker's emphasis on stoicism and the idea that we control our own responses is a powerful one, and I think it can be very empowering for people who feel like their worries are controlling them. I also appreciate the focus on mindfulness and meditation as a way to manage the thinking mind and calm anxiety. Overall, I think this video provides a lot of useful advice for anyone who wants to worry less and live a more peaceful life.
I'm 62 and up to this point I have made a series of bad decisions that have led me to where I am today. All my life I have operated from a negative Outlook. I have talked myself out of succeeding at what I believe I was meant to do. I came across a video on TH-cam of stoicism. I truly believe this is my way out of the terrible place I have landed myself. However, like I said I'm 62 and I feel as though it's too late. I never finished my master's degree and as of late I have seriously contemplated returning to achieve my masters. I would love to teach but I feel like I'm fooling myself. Because really, do I even stand a chance being hired as a 62-year-old. I'm really trying to fight hard against what I want to tell myself which is I don't stand a chance. I realize no matter what I do the time will pass and I will look back to realize I screwed up even more if I don't follow through with my education. I really do not know what to do or where or who to turn to for advice. I know there is hope but I do not see it. I'm screaming out for help
@@smithsmith6287 Thanks for your encouragement. I'm actually pursuing an on line course. I missed the deadline to apply at any of the state universities in California. So the course I'm taking now is at least prepping me, allowing me to be prepared for enrolling in the second semester of this year. Cheers and once again thanks for taking the time just send me your words of encouragement
“I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.”
- Mark Twain
@@northside_adv Correct!
This is so me, I love that saying, thanks for posting it, it will be my mantra
Facts
I hope my son has a chance to watch this video, but if not I hope that he knows that I cared to find it. Stress is a part of this world, and how we perceive it is a key to happiness.
Most of my worries happened though. Soooo
The power of hobbies is so important. It makes you human. You aren’t defined your day to day job.
Very well said
You got that right. When applying for jobs, they always look at whether or not you say you have hobbies. That's very important because it shows that you try to have some sort of a life.
@@laminageI’ve never been asked about my hobbies at job interview
A lot of jobs do ask your hobbies tho. @@ham7357
A lot of us feel we are defined by our jobs bc we work so much and then we are exhausted when we get home. Terrible cycle
"You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength." Marcus Aurelius. Keep up the good work brother!!
I mean he’s done some good work but what has this actually explained to us about the modern world?
@@Saber23 His words are timeless. The more you go through life , the more the words start to make sense.
@@Saber23 what do you want, his comments on 21st century warfare and the 2024 presidential race? His writings were a unique insight into the private thoughts of one of the most powerful people in the world in his time, and we can learn a lot from how he was able to rationalize his feelings and thoughts to himself and deal with the huge problems and obstacles he faced. That's it, doesn't need to be anything more than that tbh
@@MegaDysart I was talking about Ryan dude
@@Saber23 oh yeah Ryan is kindof a tool
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.andrew_james. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is. dr.andrew_james
We suffer more in imagination than in reality
10% of life is what happens to us. The other 90% is how we respond.
Another good quote I heard is worrying is a waste of imagination.
We also prosper more in imagination than in reality. The novel À rebours is about a guy who retreats into himself in the countryside and "travels" in his imagination instead of traveling in person.
@@jzen1455 but in the end it's not real.
Wow....well said.
"Never let the future disturb you - you will meet it with the same weapons of reason and mind that, today, guard you against the present...”
Thank you.
Needed to see this comment. Thank you so much..
My present is terrible.
@@DihelsonMendoncawhy?
"For him who has conquered the mind, the mind is the best of friends; but for one who has failed to do so, his very mind will be the greatest enemy." Bhagavad Gita
Stop quoting pagans
@@Saber23 🤣😅
@@Saber23 shut up! It's Hinduism. Stop judging and mind your business. These lines were already quoted way back before Seneca was born. And it's hard fact .. just because you don't know doesn't mean you will criticize. This quote is much more real than your own life. I swear.
@@Saber23 far better than your abhramic shit . Whole stoicism is based on hindu,buddhist, taiost philosophy
Pagans see a natural reality, unlike the fantasists who dream of resurrection and other such myths....avoid them.
As a person experiencing negative thoughts, this really helps me out a lot. We hope to see more content like this.
You should read Ryan’s books. I can say in all honesty, they changed my life. Stoicism is the greatest choice I made.
@@nimbusspacewagon I actually find stoic ideas as pretty obvious knowledge but the application of it in the mind is the most challenging
@@nimbusspacewagon qq❤
Based on quotes that I’ve read, his books have that generic self-help vibe, but with borrowed ideas from stoicism. I’d rather read the original source material.
@@marcdellorusso180 It about making it more accessible to a modern audience. To each his/her own.
A core tenet of Stoicism is that just because an idea was great once, does not mean it cannot be improved upon, or superseded by a new idea. Philosophy is about change, growing with the seasons, remaining present - By remaining adherent to an original text is one thing, but prejudging something as lesser because of a sense of "purity", well if that is the case, then one has missed the entire point of stoicism. But again, to each his/her own.
Im 60, if i could tell my younger self anything it would be don't worry. Thing is, my anxiety, and most people i know, have it worse now than ever. Its over silly stuff, it's almost like theres something in the water. Ive done therapy, councilling, and i resent the amount of time ive wasted, and continue to waste, feeling like this. I really dont have a stressfull life, i meditate, which eases it, but it is a pointless human feeling. Glad you enjoyed your visit here in England.
That something in the water comment, I agree. Suspect it could be the development of technology, smart phones and social media. A constant reminder of everything going on in the world, for over thinkers its not a good combination.
It's watching the news a lot also.
Same here. I would tell my younger self just chill out, don't be such a trainwreck worried about making a mistake. You can make mistakes, just focus on not making BIG mistakes
Media brings all the bad news on tv foods are full of chemicals modern society wants it all something needs to change
I’m going through a very bad moment of my life, I’m trying to keep going even if it’s hard man. Thanks for this video, it’s helping a lot.
Same here....wife left us.....shit hurts so much.......I still love her.
Me too.
Sooo true...it is hard. One day at a time while trying to find the answers
@@digidrum2003 so sorry, I am thinking of you and sending peace to you
@@carlosarchuleta62 Thank you for that.
No amount of anxiety makes any difference to anything that is going to happen. - Alan Watts.
NEVER say sorry to anyone who has wronged you. If your abruptness, harshness or candor was expressed to someone in self defense, saying sorry will only empower them to feel their behavior was correct and that it's okay to continue their behavior. Let them stew in the wrongness of their deed. Eventually when their heart is in the right place they will come around and apologize to YOU for their behavior. Don't worry. It's okay to stick up for yourself.
Some people have difficulty with words(and/or their ego).
And one can also express an apology through actions and implied speech. (Such as just being respectful, continuing a discussion or letting the water flow under a bridge to be forgotten about later).
That is perhaps a bit more Buddhist rather than Stoic, yet I still enjoy the idea and see how many people often function like that.
This is what I have to learn.
This comment was as powerful content as the video itself. You Ben are speaking directly into my life with your words. Thank you to you and our Ryan.
I need to internalize this. I have this exact problem in my marriage. I stand up for myself. It's not the right delivery that my husband expects and then the focus is on my apology to HIM lol. Tbh then everything goes to shit and I don't know what to do anymore
So true. I had the thought come to my mind that. I’m not intentionally hurting anyone but rather I’m doing what’s best for me. If that means that I’m no longer friends with someone it’s not to be hurtful or spiteful but rather to honor myself.
"He who suffers before is necessary, suffers more than is necessary". Seneca is the man. He just described my life in one sentence 😂. Thank you for these videos. I have subscribed to your channel and hopefully, some of these teachings will help me overcome my anxiety.
Very true. Be the pilot of your body. Be the pilot of your mind.
0:00 - Intro
1:46 - Remember these mantras
2:39 - Choose how you respond
3:16 - Be mindful
4:07 - Shift your perspective
5:09 - Embrace your hobbies
6:45 - Be here now
7:38 - Everyone has to start somewhere
8:33 - Let it pass
9:11 - Keep going
10:00 - Don't have an opinion
Thank you ☺️.
I’ll have an opinion if I want, you don’t get to tell me when to have one.
@@sg-zd8eb I don’t think any cares if you have an opinion, lol. Life goes on. Do you.
@@leahmoonbeamflower333 you don’t think any cares? Please correct your typo.
@@sg-zd8eb nope 🙂🙂🙂. Deal with the typo. 😜
I don’t know how this appeared in my feed but I really needed this. Struggling with managing my emotions while raising three little ones and the stress of work and life. Thank you.
ya, the rat race ensures this struggle continues to keep CEO's rich.....it's a trap
Keep going buddy
Nothing is either good or bad but thinking makes it so
I love that. “whoever wrote it. It’s awesome if you did I don’t know it’s wonderful thank you.
@@rosebud1958 Shakespeare.
@@strangesightsinthesky thank you kindly🙏☮️🌹❤️
Listening to you, I realize I am a born stoic, but lost it. Rediscovering and integrating this philosophy in my life right now. Thank you. ❤
The power of Stoicism lies in the understanding that we don't control what happens to us, but we control how we respond to it. As Ryan Holiday beautifully articulated in this video, we have the opportunity to practice virtues like courage, temperance, justice, and wisdom in the face of life's challenges. By focusing on what's within our control and letting go of our need to have an opinion on everything, we can cultivate inner peace and resilience. In today's world of constant stress and anxiety, these Stoic teachings can serve as a compass for us to navigate through uncertainty and find tranquility within ourselves. Let's continue to learn, practice, and share these timeless principles to create a more mindful and resilient society.
The problem I have with this idea of "control" is that using that word simplifies and misrepresents how the world works. No, we don't have "control" over much of anything, but we have a ton of INFLUENCE. Of course you can't "control" how people treat you, or if you develop cancer randomly, but you very well have a lot of influence over those things. Developing good relationships is a skill, a healthy lifestyle is a skill, and those skills (efforts) exert enormous influence on outcomes. Furthermore, it is very misleading to say we "control" our minds/reactions. Ask any therapist or psychologist about how outgunned the conscious mind is compared to the unconscious drivers of our thoughts and behaviors. Stoicism (like most philosophies and religious doctrines) seems to suffer from a sampling/publication bias: the people who get good results from it self-select to publish, evangelize, blog, etc.
Already posted this, but putting aside what this video specifically addresses, it can sometimes be ignorant and degrading to victims (especially in cases of rape) to enforce the idea that painful anger or despair is ALWAYS a choice. Trauma can be extremely complicated, and therapy doesn't always work. Furthermore, justice systems are mainly a social construct that can degrade and humiliate innocent victims and empower tormentors, a classic example being rejected evidence, corruption, and victim-blaming in rape cases. Even if a victim gets 'justice', petty compensation can't fix permanent injury or revive the dead - true justice is mainly a fantasy. It's not enough to simply 'glorify' stoic virtues and then promote attitudes that psychology victimize survivors of broken systems who don't conform to that mindset. People often try to simplify or belittle the pain of others out of a deep-rooted fear or misunderstanding of it.
We don't control anything, there is no free will. Our responses to events are based upon our genetics and and the life experiences we had before.
Great share.
I’m currently in the process of getting laid off from a company I’ve been with for over 10 years. It will be a drawn out process 18-24 months. I have 2 kids with the youngest being 1 month old.
Your videos help so much with the obvious anxiety that comes with such a life altering event and makes me realize to shift my perception. This event is out of my control. I’ve tried my best. Do I drown in despair or do I view it as an opportunity to grow and take on the next challenge in my life. I’ll take the latter and thank you for helping me realize this. Your videos are truly invaluable.
Mind blowing I was looking for talks on recovery “God Grant me the the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference. This came on.
That's terrible im sorry. In a way im glad I never had kids. On the other hand perhaps id be further along because id have the pressure to support them. While no kids, I have gone thru what you are. A couple times. Only thing i ever found to help was keeping my debt and payments low as now im always expecting to get screwed. Im always thinking ill do plan B if A fails and vice versa. I try to not let it bother me but id lie if I said it didn't.
👸got laid off too. was crushed but it became one of the best things that ever happened to me. i regret 😪worrying, not letting go & not trusting the universe. no matter what happens:
its a wonderful life ✨️ like the famous xmas 🎬movie shows us🤷.
I got laid off 5 times. 3 times of which, my wife was pregnant, and one of the times I was in the process of buying a new house
@@matthebert007 You just cant trust employers. then most of us will never be business owners. I dont know, just another day. My record is getting laid off 7x in less than a year by the same employer. It didn't end well cause i finally lost my cool. I wont give details lets just say I wont be rehired lol.
As someone who's business just crashed, I really appreciate this video. It's strange how I'm not overly upset, because I can let go and start anew. Love the newsletter, too! TYSVM from the bottom of my heart.
I'll pray for you
Just as what Zeno did when he lost his goods
There’s an old saying that Life is 10% What Happens to You, and 90% How You React to It.
I’ve heard it very good saying❤💪😊
God put this video on my feed when I needed it most. Thank you
Is the Google algorithm your God?
@@Actias1974 Respect people's beliefs
She left me but i still want her and love her so much. She doesnt really care about me anymore but i think about her all day. Now im tryna become stoic so the pain stops
Keep improving on yourself. There’s a reason she left.
This is important! Many “productive” people look down on hobbies as “play” and a waste of time…as if we aren’t holistic beings.
Live life one day at a time and respond as it comes to you.
Know what you know and keep on living YOUR LIFE not others.
I love this !
I'm a worrier - always have been, always will be, but I found not watching the news every day (I still read what I choose to read) has helped. It's too much for us all and we can't handle it - and for most of it, we can't do very much about the issues anyway, so I choose what I watch now, rather than have it dished up to me through the day.
I have a trigger temper for things that are not fair. I have learned to hold it in to think it over. I am to the stage that I have acted to heavily protect myself from anything affecting me. There is no one or anything I can't walk away from.
I found it good that if you are struggling or got unexpected problems just say "Good." that means you are still breathing and now you get to figure out solution to it
My daily stoic email is a beacon of stoic wisdom to start my day. It gives me solace especially if I read it BEFORE I start "doom scrolling" the news! I am 68 years old. Husband, Father and Grandfather. I'm building a mountain cabin for my wife and I to retire from lumber I milled myself after renting for 40 years. Year 8 of a 5 year plan but it is the greatest adventure of my life. I have disconnected from "normal" society and am concentrating on the things I have control over. The size of the lumber I need to begin my day, equipment maintenance, bringing a cup of coffee and kissing my wife when she gets up, sharing the challenges with my sons who are helping us build. The joy is in the adventure and it's not just about the destination. If you concentrate all your thoughts and energy on the destination then you miss 98% of your life. Be the Hero of your own life. I think people become the Hero of their own life when they get tired of being the victim of it.
Well said
"We must see to it as nothing takes us by surprise. Well, I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I do know what’s capable of happening - and none of this will give rise to any protest on my part. I’m ready for everything." - Seneca
The idea of premeditatio malorum helped me a lot to overcome unnecessary worry, especially about the opinions of others. It helped me to overcome my fear and start my youtube channel about philosophy! Thanks Ryan for this video!:)
Man, my mindset is a rollercoaster ride. I'm capable of such highs but such lows and I have no idea how I'll feel the next day. I come back to meditation and mindfulness at times and find some relief but routine and self discipline is something I've lost grasp of, it's like my energy has been drained by a vampire and I'm left snappy and skittish. I think loneliness amplifies my negative feelings, it's hard to stay positive.
I’ve been struggling with feeling overwhelmed by the crowd of people that surrounds me. It only seems to get busier and more congested. I’ve been so negative about it. Thanks for this, it truly is needed right now.
This is part of the reason that ive given up all social media except TH-cam. And that might be on its way out as well. Being present is an awesome skill as it precedes focus and discipline thru lots of types of situations. Still working, but being able to "let go" and be present is life-changing
Same here. FB or IG for me can cause stress. I do TH-cam only. Makes a huge difference in my day to day life.
He who suffers before it is necessary, suffers more than is necessary
"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." - Marcus Aurelius
I've been interested in stoicism for a while now, and this video gave me a fresh perspective on the topic. The idea of practicing self-discipline and rational thinking is so valuable in a world that often feels chaotic and overwhelming.
The TH-cam algorithm seems to know what I am in life right now, and curates this channel's videos on my feed. Love it.
This is really good, this is the same thought process I have taught my children. I was told at a young age that "the outcome of your life is only 10% of what happens to you, and 90% how you react to it" I still tell my grown kids this from time to time. My mom has also always told me "you choose how you are going to behave, no matter what happens you can choose to put a smile on your face and press on. Good message, stay positive and smile no matter what and it can be contagious to others.
@DrewJ79 - LOL!
Try that when you suffer from major Depression !!!
@@montesa9136 I'm sure there are exceptions as there always is, but this logic applies for most people.
I love this ❤ so strong- ❤❤ My Father knew I was an anxious kid and said Janey a coward dies a thousands deaths a brave person only one….It feels like I have died to anxiety many times and I just love the stoic philosophy. ❤❤❤
"Wherever you go, there you are". Yes, but changing your environment, or even some Feng shui at home, can work wonders
Excellent point about how hobbies are so necessary to enable rest in the mind. ❤
Needed this today. Been a worry-filled week for me. This made it a little better.
Let me get this straight. I’m gonna listen to this kid. Tell me about anxiety and pressure. Wow.
I saw a homeless guy a couple weeks ago wearing a hoodie that said "YOUR ANXIETY IS LYING TO YOU."
It blew my mind. Whenever the worry-gears start to turn I think of this expression
I like this. Thank you.
This video needs a billion views. We’d all benefit.
Many thanks, Ryan. “Discipline is Destiny” has been my dose of daily pep talk to march consciously ahead when I don’t f*cking feel like it. Much gratitude. Keep writing 🙏🏼
I’m still new to Stoicism and there are good and bad days. I watched this on a bad day. Needed this. I watched this like game film and dissected the day. Can’t wait to journal tonight.
This guy is living like a lavish life like a king and telling us all not to worry and find hobbies.
You know he build that life for himself, right? And that he is still extremly disciplinated each day to accomplish what he puts him mind to
@Alexandra Albertz he's also hypocritical in what he teaches vs does. In case you haven't heard about how he treated his father because of who he voted for. Or how he feels about freedom of speech.
@@AberrantArt did not heard that but your argument was about the "lavish" life you assume he has. And even if he does havenit...good for him
@Alexandra Albertz if Trump told you don't worry, stop stressing, everything is fine. Would it land the same as if a homeless person told you the same thing?
@@AberrantArt for me yes. But majority may be different
I believe this entirely. I live my life by these principles.
You're so young to be so wise!
Thank you for helping others!
❤
I needed this today. You have no idea, my man. Much appreciated. The universe responds once again. A van passed today with the words “open new doors” on it.
My position at work is in jeopardy. 6 has always been my number and today it’s 6-6. God I want to be great…
What a great video, I'm just learning about stoicism and I'm loving it. Thanks for what you do.
Everytime I listen to your channel, I receive reminders, validation and a smile.
Loved all the wisdom here and the daily emails help in a world of constant noise. I need to focus on stoicism more.
Great message, but surprised to see the spelling errors in the video.
"Curage" (Courage) 2:54
"Mindfull" (Mindful) 3:15
I’m am so so so so so so grateful for you Ryan Holiday! Thank you for being the man you are and for working so hard to teach peace and understanding while being human! 😂🎉❤
You encourage me and you make sense, somehow you ARE my friend. Thank you for teaching stoicism. ❤
I gonna play this on repeat today. I need these reminders. I always try to be positive, stoic and better but sometimes, there are things that happen in life that just so bad and uncontrollable. And now, my anxiety and negativity is eating me. Hearing these wisdom, I felt better. Thank you for this.
This is the best and most wonderful video I have seen on this platform in a while. Thank you! People always say, "how bad things are in the world, their life, the country," and I always tell them and myself that it has always been this way but a different time period, a different "problem" the country is facing, etc... what is important is your health, family, etc.. I try to focus on my family, loved ones, and myself, not what everyone else is or wants or does! I can't wait to watch more of your videos has a daily reminder 💓 😊
Looks like give up is the last and only option, tired of depression, anxiety, family issues 😇
Thank you. Don’t stop. Keep preaching the word.
‘Stillness’- one of his great books.. lots of insight & great history of people u never thought would exhibit stoic traits or wisdom
Cheers to taking our power back. ❤
Ryan, enthusiasm is not discussed, thank you for yours🙏🏼
This is me today. I needed this video.
Always remembering that death is been here since the beginning of Earth and you just willing to improve your life and that you should worry about whatever you lose when you willing gain.
Be willing to be bad at something in order to get good .
Perfect Timing....Thanks for being the ointment to my temporary scars & adding fuel to my fire 🏆
stoicism is the way
- It never matters how much more someone else has to worry about compared to you because it’s your own worry, no matter how small, that is tormenting you.
Though all your videos have value, this one is particularly good, Ryan. And it feels like you personally have crossed some sort of inner threshold. You feel more relaxed, more settled into yourself... something's a little different... and better. The journey continues. Thanks for including us on your journey and sharing your insights and understandings. You're doing good in the world and helping to make it a better place.
I know about him during mid covid era..and I bought his book. Really change my life.. and wherever i lost.. i will keep coming back here.. stoicism is epic..
Finally someone said it. Tired of being around pessimistic worry worts. 🙄 at some point it does get old
Love this- if we keep courage, temperance, justice, and wisdom as our "golden mean" it doesn't matter what happens in the outside mind- all we can do is control what is up to us- I love the term manage the mind and "meditacio malorum". A philosophy that I try to keep in mind is the non "occidental" philosophy of Waabi Saabi- perfection lies in imperfection
I'm old.
Which means I've got plenty of experience.
The thought at 9:44 was revolutionary to me.
Are you going to despair?
Give up?
Or keep going...
.... and do what you need to do?
Whoah.
.
Life is not fair. So do NOT sabotage yourself. Life is tough. Do NOT do anything to make it worse!
The timing of this with the obvious corruption and witch trial going on in this country is exactly what l needed. It’s hard to not get upset but this truly helps.
The way you talk to yourself matters.
It's not the thing that upsets you but your response to it.
Don't suffer twice; once in the imagination of what may happen and second if it does happen. Have confidence you can handle it.
I cannot control what happens, but I can control my response to it.
Control your mind don't let your mind control you.
Choose the way you perceive things. Good or bad; sometimes it's a difference of perception.
Enjoy your hobbies; they rest your mind. You deserve to enjoy life.
Everything you need is inside you where you are now.
Do not fear failure. Be the one in the arena not the one criticizing the one in the arena.
Be present and realize sometimes time must pass for a solution.
Every situation presents two choices; a choice to see the opportunity or a choice to quit.
Focus on what you can control.
These truths hit me so hard it came out of my eyes
I loved this video so much i needed to hear that again so won't forget that i have control over myself and i can be the change i wanna see in the world.. i also needed to remember that i can always retreat and find comfort within myself ♡ I'm gonna be happier if i lived in the moment and stopped letting external events change my emotions easily, but even those events are important for me to practice self discipline
The fear in my imagination bounds me. Such a great video
Going through low point right now. Thanks for the message.
Sending lots of love and positive vibes. Hope you feel better soon!
Thank you for sharing such profound and inspiring content 🙏😌🌟
This was amazing. I plan on rewatching to let this sink in a bit more. I see some of these traits in myself already
Ryan ; Daily Stoic. ‘Opinions are like a**holes . We all have them and they all usually stinks.” Thanks for the daily emails. Stoicism bolsters my chosen faith. In doing so, it makes me a better and more complete human. Thanks (to you and the sages) for efforts in making me a better person.
I start my day with this video, EVERY day, really life changing.
I loved the last idea, and ı realized that we don't have to think about what doesn't concern us.
Yes! So many people think about things that do not concern us and then it overwhelms them and they won't shut up about it. I'm still working on this myself too.
Really needed this! Thank you!!❤
You are a 💎 Gem in this world of Uselessness..🎉..
Please continue your good work, we need you 💪
“When a mind is impressionable and has none too firm a hold on what is right, it must be rescued from the crowd: it is so easy for it to go over to the majority.”
― Lucius Annaeus Seneca, Letters from a Stoic
Worry is just being human living on life's terms helps me everyday but I am still human and thank God. I have a very small list of things that I hold to my heart that remind me it's going to be ok.
I truly appreciate your videos. 😊
You have encapsulated where I am aiming to be.
these videos have helped me get through a lot, thank you. ❤️
Ryan love your books, love what your doing for the world, Love the continued learning I received from you,
If it makes you feel better, I hated learning till I encountered your books I’ve read every single one and do my daily stoic diary because of you and enjoy every minute, thank you thank you and thank you again, DONT MESS WITH TEXAS 😉😉😉🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🦅🦅🦅🦅💪👍👍👍
How wonderful!! I love Ryan’s work as well. Take care blessings ❤☮️💪☀️😎❤️
Hi Ryan, I watch your videos regularly and I just want to thank you for this content! It always really resonates with me. Also, I really love how you film and edit your videos!😊
If we don’t worry we’re unprepared for the outcome. Worrying is good but over worrying or over thing is the beginning of anxiety
I think none of these ideas work for some people because of self hatred. Self hatred is excruciating.
The video discusses the idea that worrying comes from thinking that things are unfair or impossible, but that ultimately the majority of what happens in the world is outside of our control. The speaker, Ryan Holliday, presents three stoic one-liners that can help beat anxiety: it's not things that upset us, but our opinion about things; we suffer more in imagination than in reality; and things don't make us anxious, we make ourselves anxious. Stoicism is a philosophy that emphasizes that we control how we respond to what happens to us, even though we cannot control what happens to us.
In my opinion, this is a great video that presents a lot of helpful information for anyone who is struggling with worry or anxiety. The speaker's emphasis on stoicism and the idea that we control our own responses is a powerful one, and I think it can be very empowering for people who feel like their worries are controlling them. I also appreciate the focus on mindfulness and meditation as a way to manage the thinking mind and calm anxiety. Overall, I think this video provides a lot of useful advice for anyone who wants to worry less and live a more peaceful life.
I'm 62 and up to this point I have made a series of bad decisions that have led me to where I am today. All my life I have operated from a negative Outlook. I have talked myself out of succeeding at what I believe I was meant to do. I came across a video on TH-cam of stoicism. I truly believe this is my way out of the terrible place I have landed myself. However, like I said I'm 62 and I feel as though it's too late. I never finished my master's degree and as of late I have seriously contemplated returning to achieve my masters. I would love to teach but I feel like I'm fooling myself. Because really, do I even stand a chance being hired as a 62-year-old. I'm really trying to fight hard against what I want to tell myself which is I don't stand a chance. I realize no matter what I do the time will pass and I will look back to realize I screwed up even more if I don't follow through with my education. I really do not know what to do or where or who to turn to for advice. I know there is hope but I do not see it. I'm screaming out for help
I'm 67. When I look back I see my bad choices could have been worse. You never know all the bullets you dodge in life.
The only way not to stand a chance is if you don’t try! Just GO FORWARD ☺️ You’ll do great!! 😊
Do your Masters. You will get funding. One step at a time. You can do it. Best wishes to you. 🎉❤
Thank you for your words
@@smithsmith6287 Thanks for your encouragement. I'm actually pursuing an on line course. I missed the deadline to apply at any of the state universities in California. So the course I'm taking now is at least prepping me, allowing me to be prepared for enrolling in the second semester of this year. Cheers and once again thanks for taking the time just send me your words of encouragement
Thank you for this video, I'm learning English with you and trying to understand how to live this life with less anxiety. It really helps!