The Stoic Art Of Not Caring What People Think
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 4 มิ.ย. 2024
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A Stoic knows they will be the recipient of unfair criticism.
They don’t whine and bitch about it. They don’t get distracted by it or make impotent threats. They certainly don’t take it personally either (In fact, Epictetus liked to joke that when someone unfairly criticizes you, feel grateful that they didn’t point out your real flaws). No, they didn’t do any of that. Because they had a job to do. Because they knew that trying to control other people’s opinions was like trying to control the weather-and that a public life guarantees public scrutiny.
And they knew one other thing: They knew that if they stuck to their ideals and ethics and did their work well, in the end, proper judgement would be rendered. We would do well to remember the same thing.
In this video Ryan Holiday outlines the Stoic strategies that you can use in your daily life to stop caring about what other people are thinking.
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My father who is 92 and lived his life like a stoic told me once about getting offended by someone's criticism or opinion. Ask yourself "is this a person I would seek advice from? If not don't worry...if it is talk to them. Else ignore the opinions and criticism of others. In order for you to be offended you have to value their opinion"...that lives with me today and passed on to my kids
Good one. Its always that you need to ask yourself 😊
but sometimes people that aren't exemplary can give good advice, even if it comes from their insecurity. you gotta filter what's true and what's not I think.
💯
@@Stikmanas I agree, I dont like the idea of devalueing someone else so that I won't feel hurt. I think that if you're comfortable enough with yourself you won't need to use these comparative tactics to put yourself above another
Can’t agree with you there about valuing their opinions cos you’re offended. The offence is us being highly sensitive n hits something inside of us. You don’t even have to care about the person who delivered their opinion. I agree with all the rest you’ve Sid. Thank you
"It's not that we have a short time to live, but that we waste much of it." - Seneca
Discovering Stoicism has been one most the best things that happened to me.
Honestly sometimes its not even about caring about what other people think, do, or say. Sometimes it's the way I think about myself and reflect on things I've said or done that's the problem. Caring too much about what I personally think, do, or say.
Wow you couldn't have said it better, this is so me
So true!
Forgive yourself James
Well stated! 💯
Yes, what @ericjordan9777 said, “Forgive yourself James” 💯💯💯
I've battled with this my entire life. This helps a lot.
I’ve adopted “minimalism” in my life practices and stoicism fits perfectly with that!
I was a stoic before I even knew what a stoic wad. I’m a woman. One day during an appointment with my male doctor, he asked me wad I always this stoic. After that appointment, I looked up the term and have been happily myself ever since. Thanks, doc. I appreciate the fact that I can love deeply, yet not allow any person that I love to take me down with them. I have/will cut them off with a quickness. I’ve never cared what people think about me-if I didn’t value them as a person. And, to top if off, my zodiac is scorpio and I’m an introvert. I truly love me as I am. However, I have to be honest, it an be a lonely existence if you allow it to be. I’m so at peace with myself, but humans need other humans, so I’m working on this.🥰
1:18 1.focus on what you can control
1:50 2.stay on your path
3:40 3.put every impression to test
4:27 4.don't talk about it
5:32 5.respect yourself
6:51 6.you have limited bandwidth
8:58 7.look at who they are
10:14 8.practice not feeling shame
12:38 9.be your best self
13:36 10.saty on the path
14:27 11.focus on who you are
aprreciate you
Thank you
Thank you
MVC most valuable comment🎉 thanks for the time stamps
thank you very much, i consult this video very frequently, thank you again
1. Focus on what you control
2. Stay on your path (euthymia)
3. Put them to the test (impressions)
4. Don't talk about it (your work - just do your work)
5. Respect yourself
6. You have limited bandwidth (losing energy focusing on other people's opinion)
7. Look at who they are
8. Practice not feeling shame
9. Be your best self
10. Stay on the path
11. Focus on who you are
As always, thanks a lot! (:
I practice Stoicism on a daily basis and as an Instructor in a prison, I bring it to my students. They, too, find it invaluable.
Thank you!
While writing in my Daily Stoic journal I felt compelled to check your latest video and express my deepest gratitude for everything you do. And I don't care that you don't care about my gratitude. 😄 This is a fun part about being a Stoic. Thank you, thank you Ryan for all your work! Please live for 100+ years and inspire many more generations to come.
:)
I moved to the USA from the UK. This country has A LOT of issues on this topic. It almost feels like it causes this wierd toxic environment wherever you go. You just feel it in the air. I love living here and feel privileged but it was definitely an adjustment mentally
It’s really hard for me to respect anyone pimping out Better Help. Do a deep dive into that company and you’ll understand.
Better help is amazing putz! I used it after being narcissistically abuser by my ex! The therapist helped me through all of my issues..
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3:40 3. Put every impression to test
4:27 4. Don’t talk about it
5:32 5. Respect yourself
10:14 8. Practice not feeling shame
Thank Ryan. This has been a lifelong battle, caring what other people think.
There's a 12-step saying I like: What you think of me is none of my business.
Thanks for all, Ryan.
I just had to make a pretty big life decision and changed my route forward by quite a bit. This video couldn't have come at a better time. Thanks!
Stoicism is the piece that was missing from my life. I am very extraverted by nature and always reached out to others for validation and had a wide social circle, but also very sensitive and was hurt many times. Stoicism is helping me so much -- with depression and anxiety, with writers' block, and with peace of mind. Thank you Ryan for your books and videos. I looked up your books at my local library and was so happy to see there are so many holds there is a wait list for each title. The world needs Stoic virtue and perspective right now.
Thanks for your help Ryan
thank you. I really needed this message today ... and every day.
Thank you Ryan. This was what I needed reminding of today.
Eloquently put like always. Thanks Ryan
This video arrived in my Email this morning and was exactly what my soul needed. Thank you again for all the time you spend teaching, reading, learning and sharing.
This fricken resonated with me so much thank you for this Ryan
If you struggle against your own judgement:
Do not define yourself by what is beyond your control. Realise that you are under no obligation to embody or attach yourself to self-diminishing thought. Disentangle from such thoughts by recognising that, while they are ephemeral, what constitutes you - your character, your behaviour, and that which is in your control - is concrete. Let the ephemeral stay ephemeral.
Yet you may, while knowing all this, lack psychological inventory. To keep your perspective you must internalise it. Mindfulness practices - whether journalling, meditation, prayer, therapy, or simply studying psychology or human behavioural biology - are paramount.
No one but you alone can map the landscape of your soul. You are the seat of your North Star. Be your own shepherd and you will find your way.
Finally, always remember: everything that happens is from now on.
Thank you, Ryan.
Great video, Ryan! Keep spreading the message!
Ryan your work is the best. This turned my mindset, it was something necessarily to hear, and I'm totally sure that will happen with all the people that watch this video. Keep doing this.
We care about people in the future we will never meet. Man that one hit me like a brick.
Thank you Mr. Holiday for posting this content. Your podcast helped me so much through challenging career changes, interpersonal relationship highs and lows, and my own growth on the journey of living fully and being the best version of myself. I just finished your book the Daily Stoic and look forward to reading copies of Trust me I am lying and Conspiracy; if anyone out there has other recommendations please do reply!
Thank you for all of the great daily wisdom! Up the iron's brother!💪🤘🌅
Thanks for the advice!
I honor your videos in stopping them halfway through. You give me an impulse to work on my things Ryan. And so I do! thank you so much for guiding me on my path. Meditations is important to me!
instead of judging yourself, ask yourself what can you do to improve this situation, this is the only thing you can control!
Very nice video, very inspiring
Thank you so much for your videos, keep up the good work. I will buy the trilogy of your books: The Obstacle is The Way! 😊
Just what I needed to hear. Great video.
I deeply appreciate The Daily Stoic's explanations and teachings as they truly help explain the difficult-to-read ancient texts. This video, in particular, speaks to me in exactly the way I need to hear.
Great video, thank you Ryan 😊
The best way to stop caring what other people think is to stop caring what other people think.
Truly timeless and profound Ryan. Thank you for all you do. I will be sending this to my teenage son and telling him to watch it every 5 years. I'm sure he will understand more each time :)
We should remind ourselves of this every 5 days :p
Thank you very much. I think this is where I will consciously start to make a difference in my life.
It's very wise on a certain level. Every situation is so individual. Lots of gray area in life. Definitely food for deeper reflection.
Yr perspective convicts me to my naked state of denial..
Such an underrated video!!! I learnt so much
Hi Ryan probably one of the best instructive videos Ihave had the pleasure of listening to in a long time God Bless
Thanks Ryan! Great content!
Marcus Aurelius: "Objective judgment, now at this very moment. Unselfish action, now at this very moment. Willing acceptance-now at this very moment-of all external events. That’s all you need."
I needed this video today
Alot of people say Ryan isn't a real Stoic, and it's like 'pop' Stoicism. However I feel he is living as a proper Stoic. He has the core Stoic principles and he has structured his logic to present Stoicism to the modern person. People don't care about the weird or esoteric bits on the edges of some Stoics, they care about a tool that works in their life.
And on top of that, he's not pretending to be flawless. He once said "I write about stoicism, my wife lives it". He has great self awareness. He STRIVES to be stoic and sometimes succeeds, sometimes doesn't. It's life
As an artist, i often paint outside and some days i do care a lot what ppl are thinking but every time i push through that initial barrier I'm always glad i did!
Whenever I run outside with no shirt on and feel self conscious then I see someone with a bright yellow shirt rollerblading and singing I laugh and think no one is looking at me if this dude is out there 😂
inspiring. love this! I felt similarly when I first started doing yoga outside. I didnt have a yard and lived urban so all that’s available nearby is parks. I want to practice in nature so I find the most private place I can (that’s still safe) and focus on what I’m doing.
This philosophy is bigger than just simple daily tasks, but it is the moral foundation of how we have lived and will live in the future. A lot of things that we believe today come from negative or fearful mentalities that we adopted and overtime became things that we see as standards. Only until we completely learn from what’s within us (meaning we can learn from outside, but evaluate from within) will we be the truth. This is the Game. 💯
This lesson will be my driving force in 2024. Thank you Ryan!
The false opinions of others almost got me killed and I'm still not sure how to get over it. Appreciate the wisdom.
You’ll surely do it! 🫶🏻
Wow! This is actually the best content in your channel so far Ryan! I feel it! I want to follow these tipps! Thank you a lot!!!
Awh pfp
It's so hard to not care about what others think considering that most of the times we do things for others
This really helped. Thanks.
Thanks Ryan ❤🔥
thank you Ryan
Great content as always. Also appreciate the Iron Maiden T-Shirts. Also appreciate the Joe Rogan discussion.
The rather obvious flaw here is that society is based on the principle that what other people think of us- their criticism, praise, or judgement- plays an essential role on assigning us our place in society. It also functions as a control mechanism for people who are abusive or dangerous to society when they break social rules and norms.
When others give me good grades, I can get into higher education and raise my position. When others promote me at work, I get a better and more powerful position, and also material security for myself and my family. And when others condemn me (rightly or wrongly), I face negative consequences, from social disapproval, to loss of position, to prison. So I find it hard to pretend that people should not care what others think of them. There are some very good reasons we do care about it.
I am merely expressing a counter argument here- I like the stoic philosophy, I just don't see how it is always implementable.
Exactly what I was thinking
Great ad. Loved the content. Now gotta find a friend to get one for.
Thank you. ❤
Love the Stoics profound wisdom that is still relevant today.
Love the concept of euthemia- I think that it ties back into the core Greek Philosopher "school of thought" of the Peripatetics. Many of our roots of organized thought/rhetoric/poetics comes from this ancient western philosophy- Kairos, logos, mythos, pathos, ethos- these are what we have to have guide us as a true north star.
Profound advice!
Thank You 🙇🏻♀️🙏
Love this !
Thank you
Very good indeed!
You are one of my favourites authors! I hope I can meet you one day and say it in person. Come to Stockholm!
Whenever I run outside with no shirt on and feel self conscious and then I see someone with a bright yellow shirt rollerblading and singing I laugh and think no one is looking at me if this dude is out there
And that’s why those people are heroes 🦸♀️ 🦸♂️
what a badass video. thank you sir
I resonate with these thanks ryan
Bro this concept saved my mind in hard times, but what i learnd was universal one
And that was "moderate with everithyng for real happines". Including stoicism
Great video!
Outstanding video.
Great message, lmk if I can help with proofreading... adhering has one a.
You know what is right? You know what is important? You know what are your values and principles? So why should you care in the first place? Ryan Holiday
I can appreciate this approach, but I am always caught by the question “what do I want?”
In essence, how do you start? I respect myself. When I hook on something, I follow it through with discipline, etc. but what I have never found is that THING, that passion that can hold the attention and focus I can bring to the table.
I have a hard time advising my sons because of this. I have been relatively successful in all of my ventures in life. At 50, I have never been fired, never not performed well, never not reached a goal I truly set… and yet I have not succeeded in finding a driving focus.
This leaves me believing I can attain great things if I only find that thing to achieve. Otherwise, there is no meaning behind the success even for myself.
So I ask for input… how does one begin?
Stoicism works unless you need things from other people; I purposefully weed out confident people from giving them work in sales; I help the less confident; Heavy is the hand that holds the pen that writes the checks
Ty
thank you
Hey Ryan! Have you ever thought about going on tour?
Which Joan Dedion essay were you referring to? Thankyou.
Love the Iron Maiden t-shirts, Ryan!! 🤘🏻🤘🏻
I've been a fan of the Daily Stoic for a while now, and nice to see you're also a fan of Maiden. Rock on!
This just saved me cuz I was getting ready to lash out of anger
How can you cite being 'distracted' when maybe one really has no purpose of own's own beyond encountering someone else's path.
🙏🏾
Strict rules for life these type of guys try to push are just silly things they come up with to make money
Solid!
Forget and Move Be Stoic
One can’t be too sad…he lived how he wanted, accomplished a lot on his time on earthz
It’s the difference between the signal and noise. Focusing about what people think about is you reacting to noise. Focusing about what you can control is reacting to signal. Choice your reaction wisely
whats the sound of the intro music starting at 1:00?
Old school t-shirt 😂 love it!
That’s just great to hear don’t care about what people think.
But a person with about 1k youtube subscribers has some level to handle, he can’t handle world affairs or what world thinks about him.
I live in New Orleans for the last 5 years. what part of the city did you live in ?
If you’re new to Holiday’s videos do yourself a favor and watch multiple times on multiple days. I always catch something different. Thanks Ryan!!
Solid 💪