Dyslexia and Emotions
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 18 พ.ค. 2024
- What's the relationship between #dyslexia, emotional sensitivity, and academic failure?
This short video explores the poorly understood relationship between dyslexia, #emotions, and #success. Until we can properly understand that relationship, and how to deal with it, we'll continue as a society to fail those we should be supporting.
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Who else is crying after watching this? He packed so much into less than 9 minutes. I wrote lots of it down. The idea that it would affect relationships with others was new for me. For years when I would have relationships with others, it would take longer for me to understand how I was feeling about something they wanted to discuss. I would clam up because I didn't know what I was feeling or how to express it, which is weird given that I'm usually so articulate. It has gotten better, but how I grew up has also affected it because I avoid conflict a lot even for minor things, and then feel guilty for not bringing it up.
Patricia, I'm so touched by this comment. And yes, personal relationships are definitely affected - I think we might be in the same boat a little bit there. And that conflict avoidance really rings a bell. But please never feel guilty: it's a beautiful part of who you are. It's not simply something you "choose to do or not do". ❤
School was traumatizing for me. My wife also ses I have a coping problem. It stems from childhood shame. In a world that revolves around reading and writing. It's a lonely place if you don't understand what is going on around you.
God, I'm so sorry, for the both of you. I just hope you're not alone, and that it's not your fault. That childhood shame is something so many of us (dyslexics) share. It stays with you, doesn't it, no matter how hard you work to escape it. ♥💔♥
Same here especially when I got to Junior High that was the worst time
Thank you
Makes alot of sense in what's being said, the problem I find is yes you read people on a deep level, as soon as you pickup they are nasty it breaks your own executive function. That's why school is a nightmare as your in a constant environment of being surrounded by basturds.
Ya got this bud it's a tallent 👍✊
The answer to the first part of this is, early literacy replaces empathy by co-opting or diminishing parts of the brain responsible for emotional recognition, and theory of mind, and introspection.
Started a new driving job. Soon as I saw all the codes and numbers on a sheet I had to find. I started crying. Calling my self all names 😢 I’m 44 can’t find what it is I’m good at still. I do driving and gardening but all inhear is make money on line. But I struggle to understand pass words stuff to do in a pc. I hate not knowing what I’m good at. People say I’m good at talking so I should try sales. But as I worry as I hear it’s all paperwork. 😢
Matt, I totally get you. I've sat at home beating myself up and descending into really dark places when I'm faced with that sort of thing, or when I get things wrong. But please know, it's totally normal, it's not "your fault" or "your weakness", and everybody goes through it.
A *lot* of dyslexics are good at talking, motivating people, and explaining things. Perhaps if you went for a job and discussed your strengths and challenges, they could help you or provide support. They're legally obliged to do so, and most people are actually really good about it once you open up and explain.
I wish you the very best of luck.
✊
This really makes sense. They feel more, but can handle it less. Largely explains why my 15-year relationship ended.
I remember once undergoing the end of a relationship (a lot shorter than yours) for the same reasons, not long after I'd received my first diagnostic assessment. I'm so sorry for your loss, it seems so unfair. I only hope you can find someone who gets you and your needs like a true lover, and partner, can. You have my very best wishes. 💕
We,need our own dating site. I love being around other dyslexic,s and others who don’t know it yet.
We definitely do. Did you know that both eHarmony and OK Cupid conducted surveys that said people are (from memory) something like 35% - 75% *less likely* to swipe right if you make spelling mistakes. Talk about an uneven playing field!
as i'm possibly dyslexic myself, im very aware of other peoples emotions, micro-emotions and can read people very easily. Emphatic towards others emotions. A lot of dyslexic people work in mental health, because they can read people and have the skills to do the job correctly.
A perfect example of empathy... 💞
Holy crap this guy is speaking to my soul right now. I resonated with so much of this. The stress I had In school wasn't so much that I couldn't grasp the material it was the fact that in order for me to fully comprehend and use what I learned I need a substantial amount of time than the pace of courses allowed which left me to playing catch up for years and then because I never really caught up I felt dumb for not being able to essentially learn fast enough. Man if I had this knowledge back then I would have been so much easier on myself haha.
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God, I feel you. It's that feeling of being dumb, and not understanding why you're dumb because deep down you know you're not.
Did you know what was going on? - Well there's a lot of stuff, but simply put one of the things is that neurologically, you process information slower than non-dyslexics, but across different areas of your brain, and "see more". At school, you're not being asked to "see more", you're just being asked to "keep up with the cr*p that they want you to learn", and so your cognitive advantage is being turned into a disadvantage.
If you'd like to explore a little more about the neurology of dyslexia, you might like this page I created. Don't worry if not, it might be perfectly boring!
😄
➡dyslexiabytes.org/research/
Thank you so much for helping me understand what my daughter is coping with. She is 38 I am so sad I had no idea. Classes are needed to educate mothers. I am so sad but thankful to you. ❤
💗😊💕I have dyslexia. I had no self-confidence as a child. I was always in tears. And terrified of being called to read in front of the class, I simply couldn’t do it. I was held back a year, which put me in the same grade as my younger sister. She was very competitive. I was just trying my best to keep up. What my sister would read once, I would read many times over and over until I comprehended it. I was just trying not to be left behind again. I didn’t know what my issue was. But once I had kids of my own, I would read them out loud and basically self-taught myself letter sounds and reading rules. So the greatest improvement I had was from reading nightly to my kids for many years. I rarely have to memorize words, anymore, because now I can sound them off. I also don’t jump around in my reading anymore from the beginning of the sentence to the end of the sentence and missing everything in between. I still transpose my numbers, I have to really concentrate when I have to read them out loud. Reading to my kids allowed me to read slowly and it gave me the power to also read carefully in the adult world. Good luck to all my fellow dyslexics.💕😊💗
Those days at school with your sister must have been *hard*. I can hardly imagine how it felt!
And I'm reading this on International Women's Day, seeing how being a mother helped you become a better reader, for the sake of your children. That's possibly the most heartwarming thing I've seen all week. ❤
@@DyslexiaBytes 💗😊💕Thank you for your kind reply. And thank you for making a dyslexia channel. You are helping many people.💕😊💗
Thank you for putting this putting this out here! I am trying to learn how to best help support my partner.
My partner has dyslexia and I have noticed feels things more intensely and does not always seem to be able to understand how their emotions get the way they do. I think they have surpressed a lot of how they feel, too, and just shutdown sometimes. I know they experienced a lot of mistreatment in school and at home due to their dyslexia.
Heartbreakingly, it's very likely your partner has experienced mistreatment in school and at home, indeed throughout childhood. It's going to be a long journey to help them out of the trauma that builds up, but with love and patience it's certainly possible. I truly wish you both the best - and thank you so much for your comment, it means so much. ❤🩹
I have very high EQ when it comes to recognising other peoples destress and empathising with them to the point many people joke that I’m pychic
I have good insight to my own emotions too.
But regulation of emotion is hard for me, I feel and I feel INTENSELY. I’m on meds for depression because of this. So yeah I understand emotional and social things but my brain is out of control with internal feelings.
Thank you thank you thank you. I’ve always known that my dyslexia was at the root of my anxiety.
❤ Thank *you*. I hope this helps, and gives you some avenues to explore. You have my love and best wishes. ❤
Thanks for this
🙏❤🙏
I am 70 and was told that I was not trying hard enough at school, I carried that for years the feeling of low self-esteem and inadequacy, Emotions and responses were all very confused, coupled with the fact of being a gay man in a hostile world and I sometimes wonder how I survived, what did I miss out in life because of these differences , there is too much emphasis on academia and professional labelling and the sense of shame can be overwhelming. but I just thought it was normal and had no idea that it was linked to learning development, even when I understood what was happening, the lateness of making the connections was difficult, it sometimes takes me weeks, even years to understand what people meant by long gone conversations and actions, I just did not have any concept of what people were saying or why it mattered, the whole subject needs to be simplified so ordinary people can understand. it's not about spelling,, it's much, much more and it has a profound impact on lives
Neurodivergent / dyslexic and shamed; gay and (I presume, judging by your stated age) hiding your true self. Made to feel inadequate for who you are, judged by standards that were not your own. My God David, I'm so sorry you had to live like that. Thank you for talking about it, I can only admire you and stand with you now.
@@DyslexiaBytes the never-ending self-questioning about what other people think of you just goes on and on and you are not able to stop it from resurfacing. It is so bad that I avoid social situations because of the fear that I will say something that I should not have and cause offence. the loneliness and isolation become a heavy burden. This is happening in plain sight and no one even gives it a second thought, no one connects it to the growing Mental Health crisis. The most crucial thing to do now is to ensure young adults are never put in a similar position that I experienced and to empower them to make changes that will enable them to thrive, It means services and support should be put into place and the funding made available to make it happen, because if things don't change, they will carry it with them for years, and it is just plain torture
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I wish I could say more. Nothing would seem adequate...
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Omg i feel so understood .
Also this explains so much of my childhood where i was told i was " a demon child for no reason and i cried for no reason etc"
And i wasn't they just don't know how to help me regulate 😢
Even now they say I'm whiny etc
That's simply cruel! And not only that, but slightly "able-ist" - the idea that there's one way to be, and if you're neurodivergent you're "getting it wrong". And the negative judgement that comes with that. So unnecessary, so ignorant, and so dehumanising.
You're wonderful the way you are. You're not whiny, they're heartless.
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@@DyslexiaBytes Thank you ❤ its always " why do you get stuck on one thing get over it . let me do xyz before you whine about it. Most times it isn't that I'm harping on a situation it's just like my brain won't leave said thing alone until i know it's done , until i get an answer I'm satisfied with or until i understand it completely. So i always research and " get stuck on" /hyper fixate on something i need the answer to but apparently asking for helped with it is "whining ". So now i just binge learn by myself and find out things the best way i can "
Thank you so much for your videos!
❤♥💖♥❤
This hits hard. I remember asking for help understanding my emotions (back in 1969 or thereabouts) and being blown off.
I still struggle.
Horrendous. As though somebody wouldn't help someone understand their emotions. What sort of world do we live in? 💔
@@DyslexiaBytes Good question. It was the world of John Wayne, the strong silent type, the two fisted American hero who is emotionally uncomplicated.
Things have changed since then -- thank God, Betty Friedan, and Alan Alda. But there's still a long way to go.
Hay I've been suffering quite badly woth dyslexia and I've been trying to figure out as much as I can about my own brain 🧠 ,I get told all tye time when trying to explain what it's like that your just making up excuses and that it's has nothing to do with my emotions but this made me feel more comfortable with how I feel and makes me feel a bit more normal hearing everyone else in the comments, so just thank u so much I'm glad someone is trying to teach about what dyslexia really is
Oh, thank you so much. I'm so glad - genuinely touched - that this video has helped you. And you're right, you're definitely not alone. I struggled so much but now I feel that through understanding myself, I've really found my place in life.
You're not making up excuses, you never were. They just didn't understand.
Keep the faith ✊
This helps me understand my Dyslexic child so much better. I was starting to think the poor boy was bipolar!
Oh, I'm so glad it helps even a little bit. Yes, the emotional strains on dyslexics can be horrendous. Your son is probably feeling them so much, but unaware of what's going on. 💔❤
Spot on ❤
I so appreciate you message. My son is 21 and is in a bad place of a family member trying to handle his emotions. They have no understanding and blame the parents. I am at a loss for his mental abilities. I wish there was a hot line or counselor in Lakeland, FL to help him. He is mental burned out and just living day to day like shut off. Sad.
Hi Helen, I really feel for you, and wish I could help. I've looked online for hotlines and support groups in Lakeland (as I'm sure you have) and only came up with professional (and probably quite expensive) psychologists.
But have you tried the Dyslexia Map? It's a Google Map I've been creating that shows dyslexia groups around the world. I know there's at least one in Lakeland. Perhaps you can contact them and they'll point you in the right direction?
You can find it here: www.thedyslexiamap.com
Thank you for sharing I feel that I am getting to know myself.
I have hidden my emotions very well, still find it difficult to express myself still would be good if work places knew about this.
Took a lot to write/type this out.
Once again thank you ❤
These little steps make all the difference Trevor. Thank you for sharing them with us. ❤
I think at least in older Dyslexic people being 40ish myself hearing from the outside world that we wouldn't amount to much. that we were less than our average peers. that every time I struggled in higher education my brain and emotions both told me "See they were right" even though till that point I was getting A's
So frustrating, I'm really sorry you've experienced this. And yes, it stays with you doesn't it. 💔❤🩹
❤ in Vedic Astrology you could be a Garue depending on other planets. Seventy years old and still learning every day. I got going in seventh grade when i got into Drafting and sports swimming gymnastics board games tennis art ect. I was 25 years driving a tow truck untilI retired in 2019 at 66. I do a lot of things back- Asswards since I am here just now.😊
That's such a lovely thing to say, thank you so much 😍❤😍
Iv been on depression pills before and I wasn't really able to feel things so it just made me really dumb
Oh Katie, that breaks my heart. I've never been a fan of pills unless they're a last resort - depending on where you are, are there any support groups you can join instead?
I feel for you, I really do. And I can only wish you well. It sounds like you're a lot braver than most!
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When I listen to music, I tend to become part of it. I see and experience the imagery that the song evokes. There are songs that make me incredibly sad, I cannot even speak the names of these songs without burst into tears. Similarly there are songs that bring me a great deal of happiness, such as Shambala, Free to Be You and Me, Whisper to a Scream (actually that doesn't make me happy it just relieves streas) and several others that either trigger happy memories or visual sensations. Ever since I was little, I have sung along with the songs Carpool Kareoke style. As soon as I was old enough to understand what the lyrics were saying, I would have extreme emotionAl responses to certain ones. I remember the first time it happened in the car, my mom was driving and she pulled over to find out what was wrong. I told her this song was so sad and explained why. I was 4. To this day, I cannot listen to that song, or even say its name. If I even hear the name completely, out of context, because the name can have several usages, I have to choke back tears. And now that I'm done writing. The song is Wildfire. Had to listen to Shambala twice after typing that word.
I love the version of Whisper to a Scream with Elvis Costello and Glenn Tilbrook. Sends shivers down my spine.
@@DyslexiaBytes uhmmm, not the same song. But it is catchy.
th-cam.com/video/ImJpqutxOmg/w-d-xo.html
State Education is sadly the problem. Given the right environment Dyslexics thrive. I was taught ITA English Twaddle in School. A backward Alien Language that made not sense at all. Basically, we were used as lab rats. I had to relearn how to read, write and spell all over again. When I left school I taught myself to type from a book. I worked my way up from Receptionist to Managing Directors Secretary for a top Architectural Company in London without one qualification to my name.
I used Kindness, Art and Music to turn my daughter into a Bookworm. She could hardly read, write or spell in school.
One day I believe she will be a published Author as she loves Creative Writing.
Dyslexic Thinking is something I really believe in. I love being different. And celebrate all the positives Dyslexia has to offer.
Education is indeed a massive problem. It sets the tone for everything - for learning, for self-belief, for how others relate to us, everything. Without fundamental changes, we'll be stuck in this cycle forever.
I'm not being too dramatic (I think) when I say that this makes neurodiversity awareness as important as other forms of equality. The inequalities are factored right into the heart of how people behave towards our children.
@@DyslexiaBytes I agree with you totally. The School System needs to change. Forcing children to read out loud in class and recite their times tables in front of the class when they are struggling to me is a form of abuse and it needs to stop.
Absolutely, I agree with you again 100 percent our children deserve equality and the right education for them to thrive without all this academic bullying. :)
This is very interesting. I was not diagnosed until I was 47. I have always known something was different about me but I finally had the courage to get it checked out. So much now makes sense as to why I am like I am. I too find it hard to control my emotions and it leads to high levels of anxiety. I feel like my emotions are a liability but at the same time a huge strength be/c I can connect to my clients quickly. Just today I had an awful feeling of anxiety and panic which left me exhausted. Trying to suppress my emotions is even worse. Thank you for your insights.
Thank *you* Katherine - I really feel your anxiety, I can suffer from it terribly sometimes. It's managing those emotions that can be so helpful, but at the same time the act of managing them can be an emotional strain in itself. And, when the tiredness comes, it's harder to keep a lid on "what they say" to us. But you're not alone. I hope you've found effective ways - and people around you - to keep things in perspective. ❤
I’ve always struggled with my emotions. This make so much sense. How can I learn to control them?
Great (and huge!) question, Antony.
So the first thing to say is try not to worry too much - we all struggle, and that struggle isn't itself a sign of anything, it just means you're "normal". But there are tips and techniques you can use.
The first thing is to find something called "the wheel of emotions". You'll find it easily enough online. When you feel comfortable, and you're feeling some emotions or other, try to look at the wheel and match what you're feeling with the options it gives. It might not sound like much, but it's a great way of "identifying and naming", two skills that are key to emotional self-regulation.
Then: it may seem strange, but practising mindfulness, meditating, praying, or simply watching a movie and (in a self-aware manner) thinking about the emotions the characters are going through, these are simple but actually quite effective ways of developing emotional awareness. And try keeping an "emotions diary" - you can do this whichever way you like, but it's a good idea to take five minutes every evening to note down things that have pleased, upset, angered, or delighted you. Jot down what they were, how you reacted, how you and others felt (or seemed to feel) after that, and so on. This engagement with your own emotional state (which you probably already have, but in a far more "passive" way) forms neural connections in your brain which actually help you control things when they start getting on top of you. You might want to carry it with you (on your phone for example?) and use it immediately, once you've experienced an impactful emotional state.
Then, little things like counting to ten, or playing a game of "I Spy" when you feel your emotions starting to rise, really help. Once the "flashpoint" is over, ask yourself: "what were you feeling? why? could you have felt differently? how does it feel to not feel that right now?" etc.
One thing I would recommend is gratitude. Think of things you're grateful for - these could be very little things, like the sunshine, or the fact that someone bought you a cup of tea recently. I'm not (I promise you) being patronising when I say this: gratitude is one of the major feelings that can help you avoid "lows". Then find ways of making sure you have physical contact at least once a day - be that with a family member, a partner, or even yourself. Hugging yourself, rubbing your neck, these things can be tremendously helpful. And take deep breaths. "Rectangle breathing" can be really helpful: imagine a rectangle. Start at the bottom left, and trace your finger (in your imagination) up the left hand side while breathing in. It takes three seconds. Then breathe out, while tracing that imaginary finger along the top. It takes five seconds. Then "regulate back to normal". Then do the same thing down the right hand side, then along the bottom again. And "in through the nose, out through the mouth" always helps. And exercise. Try to find time to exercise. I find that my moods are directly related to the amount of physical activity I do. Even moderate exercise, modelled on what you can do, will be beneficial to your emotional stability.
Then the two things that probably sound so simple, but are so helpful: good food, cutting out the caffeine, and lots of sleep (if you can).
And have you heard of the "five chairs" exercise? It was developed by a woman called Louise Evans, and can be a fun way to catch things when you feel they might be spiralling out of control. You can find it here: th-cam.com/video/NHduBeFdyns/w-d-xo.html
Finally, I led on a project called the SEN Toolkit, and one of the parts of this project was designed to help students rediscover (or simply: discover) a love of learning. Some of the exercises and activities we gave might be useful. Follow this link and download the "Activities" pack: sentoolkit.com/the-training/
And good luck. I'm 100% behind you. Even if none of the things I suggested definitely work all the time for you, most of them will work; and a combination of them will almost certainly do some good.
❤❤🩹
@@DyslexiaBytesHave you not made a video on all this?
@@rob-123 Thanks Rob. 🙏 I've made videos on dyslexia and mental health, and on the SEN Toolkit, yes. There are more to come along just these lines.
th-cam.com/video/lNgqwMxa0so/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/K6epU6tgRDE/w-d-xo.html
@@DyslexiaBytes I feel you hit a important point with executive function and kind of explains how your emotional state effects your intelligent. If I feel calm and relax I can do amazing things and can go completely outside of the box. But if I'm being attacked then there's hardly any brain activity as I'm completely shutdown.
Completely on point@@rob-123 - in trauma reactions (which are similar to those you get when you're feeling attacked), part of the brain stops functioning optimally, and that's got to do with your executive function. As dyslexics, we've dealt with a lot of pain already, and feeling stuff deeply means we're likely to feel it again. And yes, it can "shut us down". And through our lives, we're still, constantly, being put in positions that feel threatening in some way. I know I am. It's horrible.
Learning russian helped me
Really? That's fascinating. Can you say how? I'd love to know. 🙂
@DyslexiaBytes idk, I always had trouble with letters and remembering what they looked like and I had issues with seeing a word that isn't what it is written as. I noticed that the cryillic alphabet somehow made the Latin alphabet easier and my spelling got better. I'm 37 and was diagnosed with adhd and asd1 2 years ago and dyslexia is not truly diagnosed but is quite obvious now. I also have dyscalculia which is dyslexia with numbers.
Fascinating@@quijybojanklebits8750 - I'll look into this!
Think your videos are great! played this one for my friend at the weekend (recently diagnosed with dyslexia). Their boss called them in on Tuesday and said "you seem to lack emotional intelligence and can't read the room!" (Boss didn't know they were dyslexic). So my friend with the learning from your video explained they were dyslexic and what they had learnt. Boss was very understanding and said they now see them in a different light and wants to help! It also helps to explain the meltdowns my children have, so thankyou so much for all your insights!
Oh... that's so good to hear, honestly. I hope you know, it's stories like those that make this feel worthwhile. Thank you - and I'm so glad your friend has such an understanding boss.
I was told I am naive
I was told I was too sensitive
"Too sensitive". What sort of comment is that???
And... didn't the people who said it realise the cruel irony that it might actually hurt somebody who's... extremely sensitive?!
Makes me seethe. Because those people were wrong, and you're amazing as you are. The world needs *more* sensitive people, not fewer!
😢 Can't thank you enough for this message. I suspect my daughter is dyslexic and everything you mentioned I see it at play in her life. I really needed this to help me better understand her, her emotions and how I can best help her.
Rachel, first of all that means a lot to me, I'm so glad this "spoke to you". But more importantly, I can only sincerely hope your daughter feels the love and support I'm 100% sure you give her, and stays strong and self-aware of her emotions. I hope you and she can talk about her emotions, I wish I'd been able to as a child. ❤🩹
Thank you for this video, not enough is said about the emotional aspect of dyslexia.
But it also might lead to the wrong conclusion that dyslexic people cannot do well in the Academy.
For me, school was a nightmare but the higher I got with my academic degrees the easier it becomes because I can focus on my strong sides.
Thanks Shany. I really appreciate your comments and support.
I also take on board the worry that it might indicate that dyslexic people can't do well in the academy. I *hope* the message was that while we can do well in academia (I'm an academic, I have my PhD and teach at universities around Europe), there are barriers that people don't know about, beyond the classic "phonological decoding" issues. But the fact that you saw the danger of that message being lost is proof positive that I'll have to be extra careful with my language in future!
By the sounds of it - "the easier it becomes", in the present tense - you're currently making your way "up the ladder". I wish you all the best, your message shows me you've got that sharpness to succeed.
Thanks, again, for your comments. I really appreciate them. ❤
@@DyslexiaBytes Thank you!❤
Hello.
Am dyslexic, I would consider myself to suffer severely.
At 24 I couldn't read or write above 86yr.
Empthy is part of emotional intelligence and I see a psychologist and psychiatrist both of which had expressed i suffer from a heightened level of empathy which cause me to feel other feelings.
So I thing may breaking down EI in to parts would be more precise.
One of the reasons I personally think gets miss about dyslexia is why we're hyper vigilant
I would look around and scan for potential things all the time that could catch me out, watch people*
I have watched dozens and dozens of video on dyslexic and I find there huge, and complex amount of information . Some say there 6 types, each with it own set of problems some more of less in otger different categories
I also feel I only see people who are higher education etc talking about it and in many ways masking the problem. I know if I didn't have dyslexic I could easy do a degree. I struggle doing this and it can take hour or more and am still not sure it read OK.
The part you say about suffering and emotions am perticual interested in
And worried because in the event of life not being perfect non suffer could suffer such feelings.
Reasons I know this is because of why I see the two gents I do and thsy describe what you said as part of the reaction to events.
It occurred to me that mean from a basic level some of the understanding of my situation is scrued. Which if just me then OK. But dyslexics do end up with MH problems and I have never seen an provision or even acknowledge it could be part of or inflammation nature reaction to situations.
Behaviour wise there little about personality and how we can clash with people because of the way we think. It all just about academia. I think it much bigger than that.
I have heard things to from so called experts that my own dyslexic totally contradicts and a few were there wrong.
Strange the more I know the more worried and confused what is my personality and what my dyslexic..
Hi Kopitegs, thank you for such a thoughtful message. I agree with so much of what you said - often the focus is on learning and education too much, and there are different types of emotional intelligence. I don't know whether you've watched my video on dyslexia and mental health, but it fits with a lot of what you were saying.
Regarding you doing a degree - I 100% agree. I struggled horribly at school until I found "my way of doing things", but that took years of school, unemployment, and feeling horribly wasted. You're obviously easily intelligent enough to do a degree though - perhaps you could go one of two routes?
(a) find a degree such as art which doesn't need much reading and writing; or
(b) talk to a university about what accommodations they can put in place. I talked to a lecturer about this in one of the videos and maybe it might give you some inspiration?...
th-cam.com/video/nhSGrJfDpE8/w-d-xo.html
I was told I am an empath
It has taken over an hour to find the right words that need to be said but there aren't any that can explain the raging emotions that take complet control over something as simple as making this coment.. I have every form of dyslexia it has destroyed every aspect of my life . What really sucks is im very intelligent an have a strong sound mind that has alowed me to not only feel emotionally tormented my entire life but also the privilege of knowing its knowbodys fault but my own . Fuck Dyslexia
Oh, Jennifer, I'm so sorry to hear how hard it's been. You have my absolute sympathy. I've found it hard, but the pain and anger in your voice comes across to much more powerfully than my own experiences. I can only send you my love and assure you that I - and those I know - stand completely with you, in whatever ways we can.
I will say one thing though - I get the emotional torment, I do. But it really isn't your fault. I can promise you that.
❤💔❤🩹
I do have #Dyslexic, how can I help me control my emotions?
Hi, and thank you for writing.
Yes, it's hard. I feel my emotions deeply - there are times when it can get quite overwhelming. But the first thing to say is try not to worry too much - we all struggle, and that struggle isn't itself a sign of anything, it just means you're "normal". But there are tips and techniques you can use.
The first thing is to find something called "the wheel of emotions". You'll find it easily enough online. When you feel comfortable, and you're feeling some emotions or other, try to look at the wheel and match what you're feeling with the options it gives. It might not sound like much, but it's a great way of "identifying and naming", two skills that are key to emotional self-regulation.
Then: it may seem strange, but practising mindfulness, meditating, praying, or simply watching a movie and (in a self-aware manner) thinking about the emotions the characters are going through, these are simple but actually quite effective ways of developing emotional awareness. And try keeping an "emotions diary" - you can do this whichever way you like, but it's a good idea to take five minutes every evening to note down things that have pleased, upset, angered, or delighted you. Jot down what they were, how you reacted, how you and others felt (or seemed to feel) after that, and so on. This engagement with your own emotional state (which you probably already have, but in a far more "passive" way) forms neural connections in your brain which actually help you control things when they start getting on top of you. You might want to carry it with you (on your phone for example?) and use it immediately, once you've experienced an impactful emotional state.
Then, little things like counting to ten, or playing a game of "I Spy" when you feel your emotions starting to rise, really help. Once the "flashpoint" is over, ask yourself: "what were you feeling? why? could you have felt differently? how does it feel to not feel that right now?" etc.
One thing I would recommend is gratitude. Think of things you're grateful for - these could be very little things, like the sunshine, or the fact that someone bought you a cup of tea recently. I'm not (I promise you) being patronising when I say this: gratitude is one of the major feelings that can help you avoid "lows". Then find ways of making sure you have physical contact at least once a day - be that with a family member, a partner, or even yourself. Hugging yourself, rubbing your neck, these things can be tremendously helpful. And take deep breaths. "Rectangle breathing" can be really helpful: imagine a rectangle. Start at the bottom left, and trace your finger (in your imagination) up the left hand side while breathing in. It takes three seconds. Then breathe out, while tracing that imaginary finger along the top. It takes five seconds. Then "regulate back to normal". Then do the same thing down the right hand side, then along the bottom again. And "in through the nose, out through the mouth" always helps. And exercise. Try to find time to exercise. I find that my moods are directly related to the amount of physical activity I do. Even moderate exercise, modelled on what you can do, will be beneficial to your emotional stability.
Then the two things that probably sound so simple, but are so helpful: good food, cutting out the caffeine, and lots of sleep (if you can).
And have you heard of the "five chairs" exercise? It was developed by a woman called Louise Evans, and can be a fun way to catch things when you feel they might be spiralling out of control. You can find it here: th-cam.com/video/NHduBeFdyns/w-d-xo.html
Finally, I led on a project called the SEN Toolkit, and one of the parts of this project was designed to help students rediscover (or simply: discover) a love of learning. Some of the exercises and activities we gave might be useful. Follow this link and download the "Activities" pack: sentoolkit.com/the-training/
And good luck. I'm 100% behind you. Even if none of the things I suggested definitely work all the time for you, most of them will work; and a combination of them will almost certainly do some good.
❤❤🩹
Are you dyslexic? How do you know that dyslexics feel more and manage less?
It doesn't feel that way to me. It feels like a translation issue. Because I have a hard time retaining words, every time I feel feels I have to describe them in detail cuz I don't remember what that feel is called. I recruit all my speed thinking super powers to focus on the feeling in an attempt to name it so I can ask for help and explain why I'm reacting. Someone else says the name for it and I am all the sudden calm, "oh, anger, right, I'm angry, done."
I don't think I feel more than others, I hyper focus on emotions to communicate my experience to others so I don't feel alone. The conundrum of language.
Hi Kore, yes, I'm dyslexic. And I suppose the answer to the question of how I (or others) can "know" we dyslexics generally feel more and manage those feelings less is to rely on a number of sources: one of these sources is the research, and there've been a couple of studies showing dyslexics feel more, and quite a few showing we generally regulate our emotions less well. Another source of course is personal testimony, to corroborate or challenge this research, and so many of our fellow dyslexics recognise this description about themselves (in my capacity as a speaker, a trainer, and a researcher, I come into contact with many such people)
Of course, this doesn't mean that *all* dyslexics feel more, or that *all* dyslexics regulate those feelings less well, or that all of those who feel more regulate them less (or that all of those who regulate them less feel more). But it's a shorthand for "significantly more dyslexics feel emotions more strongly, and have challenges regulating those emotions, than non-dyslexics".
Very few (if any) "humanist" studies will ever make 100% statements about every member of a particular group conforming exactly to a stereotype; what the studies are usually saying is something along the lines of "80% of dyslexics feel emotions 40% stronger than non-dyslexics", or some such. The comments section on this video is a great microcosm of just that kind of claim!
Having trouble understanding about Emotions. You mean like when some one gives a complement, for me I do not respond, but will say thank you. or say well It really isn't anything. For fear I can all ready hear that complement for a painting I had done, in time they will want me to do a painting for them, and if I do not, as heard before, I am a Bitch, so ungrateful, and they will bring up things they gave me, or gave me a ride, even though i thought the gift given was as they said when doing "THEY WANTED TO" as if NO strings were attached, but far too often there are. I am 75, and never could afford to enter my art, so many hidden cost. As a kid 365 days yearly at home and at school how dumb/stupid I was.
Oh my - that sounds horrendous and painful.
Yes, basically. It sounds like you go through a rollercoaster of emotions and probably end up dealing with them by turning negativity in on yourself. So you're feeling it really sharply and you find it hard to regulate and "control" what you're feeling.
Here's a similar story: I was at an event about a year ago. We did an "exercise" where we all had to write something complimentary about everyone in the room, secretly, and pass it round on a piece of paper for the next person to do the same. When it came to opening the pieces of paper and looking at all the wonderful things people had put about us, I couldn't do it: I was paralysed that I didn't deserve any of it; but more than that - knowing I didn't deserve any of it I had a choice (I thought) -- I could either read all the compliments and die inside, or not read them, and look like the world's biggest a**hole for not thanking everybody for all the great things they'd said about me. I spiralled. I felt physically unwell. And I legged it! I actually just got up and excused myself from the room and didn't come back for the rest of the morning. God knows what people thought, but the overwhelm from the inability to accept compliments and then the self-hatred for not "responding correctly" completely destroyed me.
I say that because I want you to know that you're not alone. Yes, what you say is something so many of us share. And I'm here to say that it's your demons. We're all in this together, and perhaps by sharing, as you did here, we can get through it together.
❤
It was terrible growing up, but in order to survive I learned to appreciate what was real and did not speak, I would skip school when I was 10, go to the Museum to sketch. Owen Gromme artist, friend of Robert Bateman famous Wildlife artist, taught me tricks how to see better. In the 50s'on i did not know of dyslexia. Not even as I got older, Jobs were not easy to get. Ended up taken advantage of, father to my son. Abusive, too embarrassed to introduce to family. He was a journalist, and, well, my sentences were too DUMB. My use of English words too dumb. I am 75. can not afford to enter art shows. Never could. a lot of hidden fees, and transportation to show. But I still paint. I am doing the 344 birds seen in the state I live in , wild plants, and other animals., adding some bugs. amphibians . The way the problems around the world is going, not sure if I will be around. Or if any of will be. But, in a more positive out what do I have to loose, so I continue. I just hope USA starts taking things more serious for the child, I think the SUGARS ins many foods, FAST FOOD, SODA , Process Foods, imitation foods, Frutos, Trans fat the dyes in our clothing, is playing a bigger role, WE are not fighting Global Warming, but the crisis of the Next Generations that follows. Which could be a major Role in the kids causing adult crimes in masses, and majority of them are the ones who eat the majority of all the foods I mentioned J.T. A., WI.
You mention how you hope the USA starts taking things more seriously for the child,@@tusk242 - and I 100% agree with you. What you've gone through is a sharp example of what happens when people and societies don't take children and their issues seriously. I genuinely wish you luck - and hopefully I'll see some of your artwork online some day?
A lady moved from Florida to Wi. and she said Florida schools know about Dyslexia in Children but it is consider 'so what, too bad, and deal with it' she also said Alabama they do nothing. ART, I am doing the birds seen in WI. SURPRISE early fall , we had 1st time 5 lost Flamingo's that got caught in your Hurricane . I am 75, can not afford the cost to Enter, and many people can not name more then 10 birds or recognize them, and they do not care. Like the problem so many children to day are facing, I am figuring it is the Process , imitation, Trans Fat , Frutos , Chemicals, The toxins in the homes, but Mainly the sugars, which ALL could be the lack of empathy, high crime, in the young, We do not have a gabol warming crisis , we have a HUMAN CRISIS. Since the 60's people in USA are way over weight , more elderly with demensia ,and kids with problem in school, and in society @@DyslexiaBytes l
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What is wrong with the world? Making many children (with dyslexia) traumatized for life? Seven year old girls and boys seriously considering suicide, fearing intensely? Adhd is hell, allright, no matter what the dorks say.
Totally agree with you. The world can be a cruel place, especially to those who feel it more... 💔
Not all your saying is true.. I do well in handling my emotions .
I'm so glad, Tinisha. You're right, of course, when we say "dyslexics...", we should always say "according to studies, more dyslexics than non-dyslexics..."; or "dyslexics tend to...", or "the majority of dyslexics...", etc. Thanks for the reminder. ❤
Studies say this, studies say that. Genetics vs environment. Yada Yada Yada.
I think we have to base our understanding in a number of different things, including studies. One of the things about (good) studies is that they try (to varying degrees of success) to reduce bias. Other things to base our understanding on include listening to dyslexic people, looking at how we interact with the world, and examining the historical data. We can't just dismiss studies out of hand. x