SOS: I've Invested Too Much In A Dead-End Situationship To Walk Away || U Up? Podcast || Ep. 534
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 ส.ค. 2024
- We’re getting to the bottom of an on-again, off-again relationship in this Sunday Special! One of our listeners, Natalie, knows she’s dating a man she’s been seeing since September, but he keeps backpedaling on the seriousness of commitment. They’re in their 40s, she knows what she wants, and he claims to care for her, so what is the hold-up? When she listens to our podcast, some of Jared’s answers resonate with the way she perceives this man to be, so she wants answers from Jared and a reality check from Jordana. Is he just not that into her, or does he just need some more time before he gets tired of playing games? J&J give her some perspective to see a future for herself on the other side of this relationship, and help Natalie draft a text to follow up on their most recent hangout.
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U Up? is the definitive modern dating podcast presented by Betches co-founder Jordana Abraham and comedian Jared Freid, where they discuss their take on the ebbs and flows of the crazy dating world we live in. From interpreting dating app interactions and weird sexual encounters, to defining the relationship and everything in between - they’re here to make sure you don’t die alone. For more fun dating commentary, polls, and bonus content, follow @u.up.podcast on Instagram.
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Natalie, he is a time thief. You deserve sooooo much better, someone who is 100% into you and not breadcrumbing. Tell him want you want and if he is not willing to give it to you (as he already stablished by his actions), my recommendation is to stop this situationship that is going nowhere and is wasting your time.
Holy sh*t. All the love to this listener but the beginning of relationships are NOT supposed to be this hard. RUN, FOREST, RUN. I was exhausted after just hearing her explain their whole history until now.
Right? When they tell you they’re not ready, LISTEN TO THEM.
Natalie, you are so stunning and lovely - and only deserve the best. This dude is time suck. We have allllll been there, it's shitty. We all want the best for you, and this ain't it. Go get the man who wants to give you 100%. We have your back!
A man will tell you in so many ways they dont want you and some women just dont listen the first time. Its a waste of time. Some people need to learn to walk away the first time theyre told someone didnt choose them. Love is Blind AD and Clay situation. Women deserve better. Know your self worth.
👏👏👏👏
I'm just at the 10-min mark but can I say I love these SOS episodes where the sender is telling the story herself and J&J can ask follow-up questions?? I wish we can also ask her questions :))
Dear listener please love yourself more and run! You deserve someone who is ALL IN with you. He is not a bad person and I’m sure you have lovely nights sometimes but he does not like you enough to commit or pursue something else. He is a time thief and will frustrate you until YOU put an end to it. Don’t waste any more time in this and go live your best life on your own.
Her first mistake was continuing to pursue a man who explicitly told her "I do not want a relationship". The whole history of their relationship was hard to listen to. She needs to get clear on what she wants because the ending of "wanting things to progress" did not match up at all with the other things she stated during the podcast (kids, relationship, daily texting and calls). I feel both empathy and embarrassment for her. I kept waiting to hear the reason she's hooked like he's taking her on amazing dates or he wants her to meet his kid. But it was compliments her using 5 adjectives, hits her up late night for sex, and calls her when it's convenient for him -OOF. This man is giving her nothing.
I was thinking after the first 2 minutes, what's the question here? :D He doesn't want a relationship with her.
Jared nailed It
At minute 4 when she said he told her he liked her but he didn’t want a committed relationship, that’s when this discussion should have ended. He told you very clearly what he didn’t want. Why do we women do this to ourselves? Listen to what men are saying. It’s not mysterious, it’s not confusing, it’s not something we need to analyze under an electron microscope. He was kind enough to be honest and clear. Can you be kind to yourself and really hear what he is telling you.
I agree, but it's easier said than done. Especially at that age when it's getting harder and harder to find a decent man.
And I love you guys, but I think it’s the wrong message to tell this guy that he has a whole year to transform into a boyfriend. And I would give it one month to bump up the seriousness of dating exclusively and actively. And the problem is, again, he has made it very clear he’s not interested. So for her mental health… The best advice is to explore why she is hanging on so intensely. Put that time and energy into self reflection, and what it is that makes her cling to a fantasy of who she wants him to be. It’s giving her false hope and a whole year of feeding a delusion
she knows the answer and she knew the answer already - we've all been there - we just twist it so it's still a possibility but we know deep down that it's not going to work out - things can be both - he CAN like her and he CAN love the conversation, etc. etc. but still not want to be in a relationship with her - but the answer is still the same - he doesn't want you and you have to move your beautiful self on - it will be apparent when the right one comes along - it won't even be a question
The whole time I was listening to the episode I just wanted to tell her “if a guy likes you, you’ll know”!!!
No disrespect but I really don’t think it’s fair to call a guy stupid just because he’s not that into us. If anything, we’re not smart when we refused to move on. He’s not a jerk and I think the healthiest thing you can do is move on .let it go. you’re trying to force something into what it is not.
If it’s too confusing to be his friend or a Situationship, then just let it go. Houston is a big city and even though it sucks to go on many dates that might be what you need to do to find a match thats mutual . It’s not fair to him or yourself to insist that this connection blossoms into a big romance.
When did they say stupid? I must’ve missed it.
The caller referred to “confronting” the guy in a very stereotypical trope:
Proclaiming that ‘she is a catch and he’s an idiot to pass her up when they get along so well’ . Implying that hes ‘just resisting ‘.We need to respect that men also get to have boundaries and taste imo
According to her, they've been intimate ~4x, which averages once a month since Nov., despite their constant off & ons. Even if she's downplaying that number, that's still not much for any 45yo man. That said, I do wonder what has him continuing to come around if he doesn't want a relationship & they're barely intimate? I mean, what benefits is she giving this man, besides a cheap thrill?? 😂🤔
He could be on the asexual spectrum somewhere?
He only said he deleted hinge not that he wasn't dating. As far as we know they never had a conversation about being exclusive. He said he didn't want a relationship. Technically he could be on other dating apps, meeting people in the wild or already have a roster and he wouldn't be lying when he said he's not on hinge. He's just not sharing the whole truth
an ear to listen to him, feminine energy, someone that he knows likes him (ego stroke), etc. etc. - it's not about the sex because he's not even that into her like that - but he's getting other things from her for whatever reasons - she needs to cut off the oxygen she's giving him