you can't pronounce my last name good for you!!! Some people don't figure it out until they're middle aged. I learned young as well because my mother showed me how. She was the brave one. Not me. Lol
I'm also 22 and I'm learning to set personal boundaries with my family. It's hard especially when you've looked up to them your whole life growing up, but when all they do is hurt you and make you feel like a worthless pos etc it's time to let them go. We all need to learn to have some self respect and know when someone is treating you like dirt you don't have to take it.
What about the "friend" who encourages you to spill every last thing about yourself........ And only when you've done so, do you realise they've told you NOTHING about their own lives? (The opposite of the Leech, I guess) Cos they are pretty toxic, too.
Tell them it's non of their damn business not in that manner I mean what kind of friend wants to know everything about you any I mean this person writing a darn book on your life. Is your life a real reality tv show that they must know everything or they're going to die? You don't go off telling everyone about yourself right off the bat no way. And stay away from people who gets involved in your business telling others things about you that they don't need to be talking about. I mean it's normal to say things like," I was with a friend name Jerry yesterday but don't tell them all of Jerry's business". Also nosy people are everywhere they are people who go around informing others about your business who doesn't even know you now that is a bad habit that an idle person or people who have nothing to do be doing. Have you ever heard that saying, " Worry about why you are worried about telling someone else someone's business that isn't even your business to be telling other people". I call that person the miserable middle man or woman always I'm the middle of someone's business that in which it has nothing to do with the person running their mouth.
@@queendivine3044 This was an old schoolfriend. We'd known each other many years. She didn't probe me in the sense of "Tell me all your secrets!" ... It was more that we'd have what seemed like normal conversations.... Only afterwards, I'd realise that everything she'd said had been purely factual, whereas I'd exposed views, opinions.. and sometimes, emotions. (The only opinions she ever gave were repeated from the respectable papers or the BBC). So it wasn't a case of my "telling everyone about myself right off the bat" ; just responding as I would to any old friend. i.e Being reasonably honest and open, which I don't think is rash or abnormal. Finally, I realised that spending time with this friend was making me feel far too vulnerable. At first, I tried to do the same thing as her and keep my contributions purely factual and impersonal.. But then, I had to ask myself what I was getting out of our "friendship" ; and of course, the answer was Nothing. So I withdrew. But not without incurring some damage along the way. But I learned the lesson: Never again. Friendship should be about BALANCE; sometimes the see-saw will be down on one side and up on the other, sometimes the other way about. But when it's always one way, something's wrong.
My dad is a control freak and unsupportive but he's improving and getting better which is good he still has some serious issues that were working on like when I got a job he gave me a dirty look then gave me the silent treatment but now he's improved so much but I'm not part of his healing process and he is being more supportive it takes baby steps to heal.
Once I have a co worker who told me his view of the world is all about one making use of another , at first I thought it was just a casual remark. But now I know that’s how he sees me . As time goes by came the name calling of a female co worker behind her back which he is not fond of . Now I have keep my distance away from him unless work is involved necessary since we don’t work in the same branch . I learnt something valuable from him , if someone you barely knew gets overly friendly with you and always tells you that he/she would like to plan an outing with you in future etc etc, stay away . They are not what they actually are .
Awesome! I was wondering if I needed to put up with a friend of mine gossiping. I didn't like it. I told her that flat out. I felt guilty. She made it seem normal.
Niomi Nickel no you dont! If you tell someone how you want to be treated and they don't respect that, they don't respect YOU. Respect yourself enough to leave them alone.
I think you forgot the Toxic Flatterer (overly happy & overly supportive) to the point of Lying to your face so you fill better about yourself person. I’ve known at least 2 of these. Seriously… I could of accidentally locked my kids in a hot car for 3 hours and she would probably just tell me that’s normal, don’t dwell on it and I’m a Great mom ! Toxic Flatterer's can’t ever handle correction or even tips from others or they think they are being attacked.
Chrystal Greene : I can't explain it any better. I know a few of them .... very dangerous people...I shall add...they make you feel like you're on top of the world.
That’s a great question, and it’s very common. I always recommend investing into professional counseling for these types of situations, because a licensed counselor will help you work through the pain and discover your own identity outside of your family. Blessings to you friend! Good luck!
I am currently dealing with someone like this. I remember she got mad because I accidentally double booked and was gonna do lunch with my family for me and my brothers birthday instead of lunch with her and others. I told her I’m sorry and explained I forgot she was all “Well next time put it on a calendar we shouldn’t have to remind you when you already made plans with us.” So then I told my mom and my mom said I could go with them and when I message her she’s all “Oh we already got someone else to come with us the car is full.” And then at church she would physically hurt me nothing too big but enough to go what the heck? And then one time she tripped me in the hall and said “Watch it my foot is there.” No apology or anything and when I stood up to her she went all victim mode acting like I was gonna hurt her so I had to back off. Then she talked behind my back saying how annoyed she was because of something I did months ago but she never told me it bothered her only others. And to punish me she invited two of my best friends to a game night but not me. I just don’t know how to get her out of my life without causing a bunch of drama.
Unfortunately, there's going to be drama no matter what - whether you stay friends with her, or whether you draw a boundary line and say "No more." I recommend finding new friends! Expect backlash - but know that you will get through it stronger, and better off.
Set boundaries with your family and stick to them, and change your environment! You aren’t at the mercy of other people - you are the boss of YOU! (Unless you’re not an adult? Not sure bc anyone can watch these videos!)
Sounds like a group of miserable people. Seriously. I went to the doctor not to long ago and told one of the staff about some people who was effecting me mentally to the point that an 8 hour shift dealing with their unwelcomed bs had me feeling like I worked a 16 hour shift. Running on empty because of these people. Most of the time I have to stay at a hyper active mood in order for them not to bring me down. Because they will bring you so down it's horrible. Sadly I have been told by people who are not even doctors that it's bipolar when truth is it's me doing what I can on my own trying to keep these people from bringing me down. Been in some death threatening situations nec of these pet effecting my mental health. They have this bad habit of draining me mentally than trying to get involved with other plans I might have with other people telling them that my mental health is not good to hold off when the cause of it all is them. I can't wait until these pet are out of my life my life is so much more enjoyable and peaceful without these people. They are not even suppose to be involving themselves in my business anyways bec any and all of my future plans does not even involve them no way. These are not even the kind of friendship or family I would even want in my life or around me. Why allow a group of pet who feels like dark clouds heavy on your mind body and soul hang around. I'm worth so much more than having these draining people in my life period
How do u get rid of stalkers in your workplace, When everyone else loves them.. omg having to remain professional but you just wanna scream fuck off away from me... it's so hard. Deep breath deep breath :(
Gloria, this video was filmed 3 years ago when my channel was called "Life Starts at 30-Something." If you watched any of my other videos before leaving a snarky comment, you'd discover that it's no longer targeted at 30-year-olds and has expanded to include people of all ages.
I am 22 years old and I know when to cut toxic people out of my life.
you can't pronounce my last name good for you!!! Some people don't figure it out until they're middle aged. I learned young as well because my mother showed me how. She was the brave one. Not me. Lol
I'm also 22 and I'm learning to set personal boundaries with my family. It's hard especially when you've looked up to them your whole life growing up, but when all they do is hurt you and make you feel like a worthless pos etc it's time to let them go. We all need to learn to have some self respect and know when someone is treating you like dirt you don't have to take it.
If they rather gossip about a genuinely sufferer person then they have no moral respect for you n your feelings they don’t care about your reputation
Absolutely!
What about the "friend" who encourages you to spill every last thing about yourself........ And only when you've done so, do you realise they've told you NOTHING about their own lives? (The opposite of the Leech, I guess) Cos they are pretty toxic, too.
It sounds like that friend has some serious issues letting their walls down! Be careful there, too! Thanks for watching! Xx
Tell them it's non of their damn business not in that manner I mean what kind of friend wants to know everything about you any I mean this person writing a darn book on your life. Is your life a real reality tv show that they must know everything or they're going to die? You don't go off telling everyone about yourself right off the bat no way. And stay away from people who gets involved in your business telling others things about you that they don't need to be talking about. I mean it's normal to say things like," I was with a friend name Jerry yesterday but don't tell them all of Jerry's business". Also nosy people are everywhere they are people who go around informing others about your business who doesn't even know you now that is a bad habit that an idle person or people who have nothing to do be doing. Have you ever heard that saying, " Worry about why you are worried about telling someone else someone's business that isn't even your business to be telling other people". I call that person the miserable middle man or woman always I'm the middle of someone's business that in which it has nothing to do with the person running their mouth.
@@queendivine3044 This was an old schoolfriend. We'd known each other many years. She didn't probe me in the sense of "Tell me all your secrets!" ... It was more that we'd have what seemed like normal conversations.... Only afterwards, I'd realise that everything she'd said had been purely factual, whereas I'd exposed views, opinions.. and sometimes, emotions. (The only opinions she ever gave were repeated from the respectable papers or the BBC). So it wasn't a case of my "telling everyone about myself right off the bat" ; just responding as I would to any old friend. i.e Being reasonably honest and open, which I don't think is rash or abnormal. Finally, I realised that spending time with this friend was making me feel far too vulnerable. At first, I tried to do the same thing as her and keep my contributions purely factual and impersonal.. But then, I had to ask myself what I was getting out of our "friendship" ; and of course, the answer was Nothing. So I withdrew. But not without incurring some damage along the way. But I learned the lesson: Never again. Friendship should be about BALANCE; sometimes the see-saw will be down on one side and up on the other, sometimes the other way about. But when it's always one way, something's wrong.
Thanks for sharing this episode is always encouraging I enjoy it God bless Whitney 😘
What if you have someone in your family that has several of these traits? Lol. #sendhelp
Let me know if you found the answer... I got 3 in my life
Dom Anderson i can relate
You described toxic people so easily that help a lot, the people i loved most are the slow poison in my life time to cut them down....
Enjoyed your video! ! Definitely made me think of some people in my life. I believe this is true for family too! But we can love them from a far!
YES Samantha -- loving them from a distance is very important!!
Run for the hills and never look back...xxx
My dad is a control freak and unsupportive but he's improving and getting better which is good he still has some serious issues that were working on like when I got a job he gave me a dirty look then gave me the silent treatment but now he's improved so much but I'm not part of his healing process and he is being more supportive it takes baby steps to heal.
Once I have a co worker who told me his view of the world is all about one making use of another , at first I thought it was just a casual remark. But now I know that’s how he sees me . As time goes by came the name calling of a female co worker behind her back which he is not fond of . Now I have keep my distance away from him unless work is involved necessary since we don’t work in the same branch . I learnt something valuable from him , if someone you barely knew gets overly friendly with you and always tells you that he/she would like to plan an outing with you in future etc etc, stay away . They are not what they actually are .
Amazing video! Thank you xx
Awesome! I was wondering if I needed to put up with a friend of mine gossiping. I didn't like it. I told her that flat out. I felt guilty. She made it seem normal.
Niomi Nickel no you dont! If you tell someone how you want to be treated and they don't respect that, they don't respect YOU. Respect yourself enough to leave them alone.
Omg!I'm 44!😂❤💞💗💗hope it's not too late to deal with my obnoxiously fake friend!😘😘😘😘💞thank you
Never too late!
Make relationships very, very slowly!
That's great wisdom!
Your skin is amazing, and so is this video!
Thanks 🎈
I think you forgot the Toxic Flatterer (overly happy & overly supportive) to the point of Lying to your face so you fill better about yourself person. I’ve known at least 2 of these. Seriously… I could of accidentally locked my kids in a hot car for 3 hours and she would probably just tell me that’s normal, don’t dwell on it and I’m a Great mom ! Toxic Flatterer's can’t ever handle correction or even tips from others or they think they are being attacked.
Chrystal Greene : I can't explain it any better. I know a few of them .... very dangerous people...I shall add...they make you feel like you're on top of the world.
Chrystal Greene thats demonic
Omg yes I hate ppl lyk that fake
I have a friend who is control freak ...I ll cut down friendship but it's very difficult for me
Great teaching,thank you for your explanation they help me
What about if grew your entire life with toxic family??
That’s a great question, and it’s very common. I always recommend investing into professional counseling for these types of situations, because a licensed counselor will help you work through the pain and discover your own identity outside of your family. Blessings to you friend! Good luck!
The Dark One For Ever sometimes you are the target and you think it is your family
I am currently dealing with someone like this. I remember she got mad because I accidentally double booked and was gonna do lunch with my family for me and my brothers birthday instead of lunch with her and others. I told her I’m sorry and explained I forgot she was all “Well next time put it on a calendar we shouldn’t have to remind you when you already made plans with us.” So then I told my mom and my mom said I could go with them and when I message her she’s all “Oh we already got someone else to come with us the car is full.” And then at church she would physically hurt me nothing too big but enough to go what the heck? And then one time she tripped me in the hall and said “Watch it my foot is there.” No apology or anything and when I stood up to her she went all victim mode acting like I was gonna hurt her so I had to back off. Then she talked behind my back saying how annoyed she was because of something I did months ago but she never told me it bothered her only others. And to punish me she invited two of my best friends to a game night but not me. I just don’t know how to get her out of my life without causing a bunch of drama.
Unfortunately, there's going to be drama no matter what - whether you stay friends with her, or whether you draw a boundary line and say "No more." I recommend finding new friends! Expect backlash - but know that you will get through it stronger, and better off.
You're right, us toxic people should be rid off. Sorry for making your lives miserable.
Omg....my ex friend has most of these traits...!!!! Lol
Glad she’s an ex friend!! :)
Lol!!! You should meet mine
I’m almost everything she listed out, damn
I heard a lot of past me in this. Lol God bless.
Always thankful for the opportunity and ability to change, right? :) Thanks for watching!
litterly just described someone ik with all those types
It's very eye-opening, isn't it!!
What about if the person is obsessed with positivity and motivation and that's the problem?
Anything taken to the extreme can turn ugly, right? Still use smart boundaries with them!
What if it's your Mom, brother and your environment?
Set boundaries with your family and stick to them, and change your environment! You aren’t at the mercy of other people - you are the boss of YOU! (Unless you’re not an adult? Not sure bc anyone can watch these videos!)
This was very helpful.
I'm glad that you found it helpful Terri!
Me and my mama and dada love your Chanel
Sounds like a group of miserable people. Seriously. I went to the doctor not to long ago and told one of the staff about some people who was effecting me mentally to the point that an 8 hour shift dealing with their unwelcomed bs had me feeling like I worked a 16 hour shift. Running on empty because of these people. Most of the time I have to stay at a hyper active mood in order for them not to bring me down. Because they will bring you so down it's horrible. Sadly I have been told by people who are not even doctors that it's bipolar when truth is it's me doing what I can on my own trying to keep these people from bringing me down. Been in some death threatening situations nec of these pet effecting my mental health. They have this bad habit of draining me mentally than trying to get involved with other plans I might have with other people telling them that my mental health is not good to hold off when the cause of it all is them. I can't wait until these pet are out of my life my life is so much more enjoyable and peaceful without these people. They are not even suppose to be involving themselves in my business anyways bec any and all of my future plans does not even involve them no way. These are not even the kind of friendship or family I would even want in my life or around me. Why allow a group of pet who feels like dark clouds heavy on your mind body and soul hang around. I'm worth so much more than having these draining people in my life period
How do u get rid of
stalkers in your
workplace, When everyone else loves them..
omg having to remain professional but you just wanna scream fuck off away from me... it's
so hard.
Deep breath
deep breath :(
I know a ball and chain 😒
God bless you baby girl i. Wish ylu all the best in lofe
Wow amazing !
Thank you!!
So how about those who are not 30 somethings??? Are we not suppose to watch your videos?
Gloria, this video was filmed 3 years ago when my channel was called "Life Starts at 30-Something." If you watched any of my other videos before leaving a snarky comment, you'd discover that it's no longer targeted at 30-year-olds and has expanded to include people of all ages.
God bless of your adorable voice s
My ex boyfriend of 4yrs use his parents that died to keep me around manipulating me
Surrounded by toxic.
Ok, so I have to get rid of all my friends
my brother is passive aggressive punisher then what should I do get rid of my brother ?
There’s a great book I recommend you read - it’s called “Boundaries” by Cloud and Townsend. I think it would be really helpful in your situation!! ❤️
anjali 3107 show him love if the passive apathy isn’t too strong
my mom has all but one ....sigh
+BeautyPhoenix Fix I'm sorry :( it can be so tough. Remember that you need a positive group of people to surround yourself with!! Xoxo
My friend has most of these traits....!!!! Oh ex friend....😊😀😂😇
Girrrrrrl! Glad to hear she’s an ex friend!!!
Haha I know someone who got all these and her name is ME**L
❤️🙌🏼❤️🙌🏼❤️🙌🏼❤️🙌🏼
you-re lovely
So basically I have to get rid of my dad
Boundaries are healthy, most especially with parents and adult children!
Oops my parents r toxic
2020: 4823
That's called covert-aggressive. Plus, overt-agressive only seem to be 'with this one all is clear', I e. obvious. ... and. . So on...long story