@@dmackler58 How could you be so good at having real friends when you had not learnt and didn't know how to form and keep relationships?I don't really have any good ones (left), and tend to seek my original family in order to feel connection and belonging,even though they don't appreciate me as I am worth , or interact. I feel better with some contact than none and the familiarity and comfort of meeting them , whom I have old history with, gives me a sense of wellbeíng and sense of connection, however brief and superficial. And my knowledge of us all being much bigger and closer actually, than what we are able to live/show, helps too. As well as knowing that they have their únhealed traumas that cause hurtful treatment, lack of contact and unhealthy patterns.
Carl Jung once answered a question about child psychology and he said “Leave the children alone. Send the parents to me for six months and the children will be fine.“
I seriously would've been better off if I raised myself as a kid like omg. (Like let's say a robot raised me instead so I got to school and the basic needs met, I'd be fine, all my parents did was mentally fuck me up and denied me the right to be authentic and connect with others.)
@@HakuCell Children are still learning the world around them. It's not their fault if their perception around them is wrong. Perfectionism is not the right way of how a child should be taught, or at least in my opinion.
@@gingerisevil02 indeed. i worked at a preschool and it's so hard in this culture to preserve the integrity and natural energy of kids, but if it could happen, it would be a treasure to the world. i remember a comment under a Gabor Maté video, reading "when you're self-connected, you're a treasure to the world".. you surely are, to This sickened world. search on youtube "isolated tribe's touching message for the modern world", you will see the Jarawas, a still-living native, self-sufficient tribe /community. also, search on youtube "Gabor Maté clues series", you will find a playlist. in the "8th clue" and "11th clue" videos, Gabor describes native humans as looking beautifully present and self-connected, a certain ease and authenticity. He also says that the hunter-gatherer tribe has been found to be the "ideal nurturing environment for kids, where parents are still instinctual, self-connected, connected with the child, and non-indoctrinated, and self-sufficient, a sense of autonomy in their lives.. community.. human needs.. because that's what we're evolutionary adapted to.
@@HakuCell YES to everything you said. I love Gabor Maté and his work. Also Gordon Neufeld. They actually co-authored a book Hold On To Your Kids. And Gordon has a lot of TH-cam videos as well.
A hug! I needed a hug as a child. But my mother lived with her back towards me and my father kept his distance and did not really interact. I often felt like I was withering away from pure lack of touch and loneliness.
Same!! Omg I craved affection so bad!! I really wanted a bf even just to get those affection needs met, but was traumatized by my "father" who was a creep and asserted dominance and threatened my autonomy and safety whenever I go close to having a bf. I felt deprived. I was deprived.
I agree I think, but when the stacked-up crisis complex is so big and so entangled and bodily functions being too broken down and one is too isolated/lonely to be real enough anymore to know how to structure it and know the right course of action.
Daniel Mackler's method of self-therapy saved my life when psychotherapists and medication didn't help. I'm in such a better place than I was a year ago. I espouse self-therapy to anyone who listens, but our society is so professionally and medically focused, people often don't take me seriously, which is a damn shame.
People want to believe a magic pill or a super hero “professional” is going to swoop in and solve all their problems. They don’t want to get their hands dirty doing the hard inner work themselves
@@pod9363 Safety and stability in life is very helpful for healing, I might say even it's necessary. But it's tricky, because safety and stability can very easily lull you into a sort of comfortable dissociation. I've found romantic relationships in particular foster this kind of dissociation. That's what I'm primarily struggling with at the moment anyway. So, as long as you don't let safety and stability turn into dissociative comfort, I believe it's a very helpful thing to have in your life to promote healing.
Thanks so much for this thoughtful & comprehensive advice. Where Counseling & therapy failed me, was at the point of my understanding that I was a client paying people large sums of money to listen to me: Once I realized that, I walked away. I want & need people to like me & care about me, because they want to out of free will. Not because it’s their job. ~ I stopped going to therapy a few years ago & I stepped up my self study & self care. I found lots of helpful resources & I make use of them, by paying attention to what works for me, and letting go of painful people & situations ( as best I can ) . Finally, I stopped recommending therapy. Instead I practice loving acceptance & encouragement . ~ Much appreciation to Dan for sharing his insights & warm encouragement. 💁🏻♀️ ❤️ 🌼 🐣 👋
Honestly the only reason why I even seek therapy is because no one around me wants to talk about what happened, and the rare time they do they don't know what to say. I hate feeling like I'm burdening my friends and family with issues too, but having someone just listen would be nice.
Your videos are so insightful. It drives me crazy when my husband keeps saying my son needs therapy. He has had therapy for years and it hasn't worked, plus it always makes him so angry when my husband tells him that. I really feel your way is the best way.
I think I need a combination of therapy, medication, and living on my alone to fix my situation. My house has hurt me so badly mentally. My mom and brother. Horrible to live with.
Try to avoid the medication. You know that your problem is your environment, nothing wrong with your brain,. Have you seen Daniels film, entitled Fix these broken wings?.. th-cam.com/video/edaxwaiIrQU/w-d-xo.html . Best of Luck
Thank goodness for a voice presenting a different point of view. A refreshing alternative to an industry which has profit and self seeking at its heart.
I'm happy that you've posted a new video. You are a brilliant and wise person who can break down complex topics in an easy to understand way. This video was excellent
What I lacked and yearned for (unknowingly) throughout my youth was an intelligent, similarly sensitive, caring, encouraging older man/ adult male. I think I was too philosophical and sensitive for my environment.
Sometimes I wish I could go through the screen to give you a hug, but then I think of how weird that would come across to be hugged by a stranger lol I appreciate you and the content you put out! Thanks Daniel
My Mother is the same. She allways tells me that i need therapy but i think she forgets that she was the person who hurt me with lies, screaming, projecting her problems on me and being a controll freak. When she really would want to help me she would change herself and stop lying etc. My father doesnt say i need to go to therapy but hes basicly the same as my Mother. A liar and his head hes still a little Child so he isnt able to be a real father. I cant even speak to him often cause its allways about him , about his problems and about his thinkings. Its never really about what i think. To be honest its horrible.
Awwww precious! Yes yes yes, you intuitively did what we must. Comforting, reparenting, earning our own respect and offering ourselves love and patience... it’s the way.
Being on disability and barely able to pay the rent, I can't find anyone. So I am on my own fighting tooth and nail. Am getting better at shutting down. My recovery is at stake
@@ekat3 Ever since my dad died in front of me in April 2013 an my career and income crashed in Jan 2014, I have been on this isolated island. Being on disability , I have also had to change med insurance six times since all this went down. Right now all 8 of my doctors are on hold. Trusting my Higher power and not my feelings. Had counselor a couple of years ago
@@RandyR I'm on disability also, it's rough. Some people don't understand how hard it is to qualify to receive it. I've fallen on really hard times where I used to have my own apartment but now I'm living in my parents basement. I'm trying to find a room and board place to live in because my parents quite literally drive me crazy. It's a rough world out there. I wish you good luck and the best.
I just listened to your psychiatry hospital video and wow! I so agree. I did one day volunteer work in a psychiatric institution in the nineties when I worked for the Health Department and I was horrified. They herded people to the toilets all at the same time like cattle, making them all strip and run bottom naked to the toilets. I was stunned at how callous the institution/hospital was toward the patients. Appalling.
I do find therapy helpful. My therapist helps put a language to my experience. I also really want to try intensive trauma processing. I'm waiting to go to an EMDR center. I know all the roots to my stuff, I need to leave a bad environment, but I don't know how to change my mental responses. I need therapy cause I am too traumatized to reconnect without help. Some people do need therapy. I'm afraid of people and do not know how to rebuild.
Flying fig after sharing my trauma with this therapist, and having her invalidate it (yesterday,) I realize I was just being grateful for scraps because she understand parental narcissism, but still was super stigmatizing me for how I've reacted. She just shortened down what I already knew with labels I deep down already knew. I do want to try EMDR for my self therapy process of un-learning unhealthy process cause I have severe insomnia, but this talk therapy shit I can do on my own.
@@gingerisevil02 Not sure if you already sought out that EMDR, but if not yet, I would encourage you to simply sign up for a yoga or pilates class that meets once or twice a week. That will help with the sleep issues and help give you space to reconnect with your breath and heartbeat. I am so sorry you were invalidated and dehumanized by that therapist, and hope you are able to begin your journey to freedom and joy. Wishing you well!
Just, one of the best videos on TH-cam. So gorgeous to hear, so accurate. Very impressed to hear this unique perspective being told from a non-spiritual perspective. My spirit guides gave this experience to me in addition to reading Jung etc... Other people sometimes get it from mushrooms or other psychedelics. I’m so impressed you did this basically solo!
I agree with this. Therapy should be used as a stepping stone for one self-therapy is too painful or too confusing for the client to do, but eventually the client must learn to do therapy on there own. Group therapy is better than individual therapy as you are around others who are also suffering and can empathize with you.
Daniel, thank you so much for this video. It spoke to me on many levels and encouraged me to continue going deeper in my journey of self-discovery during these uncertain times. I'm on my second therapist right now. The first focused mostly on CBT, and while I learned some things about myself, it felt too clinical and, well, not very whole-person. My second therapist, who I'm still seeing via Skype during the pandemic, has a Jungian bent and an interest in dream work. That stuff seems fun to analyze and speculate about, but I question how much it really helps. It seems like you can go in circles forever. Do I *need* therapy? It doesn't feel like it. I like to think much of my progress has been self-driven. I meditate, I do a lot of spiritual and philosophical reading, I volunteered for a suicide crisis line to practice my listening and relational skills. And I notice that none of these activities involve an exchange of money--they simply involve me relating more deeply to myself or to others in an authentic way. I love what you say about people needing to be plugged into their communities more. And to listen to each other. (Another commenter here mentioned Carl Rogers; I also thought of him as I watched this video.) Have you read Johann Hari's book Lost Connections? I think you'd dig it. I'm fortunate to have a girlfriend and family who love and support me. But an awful lot of people out there don't have anyone in their life with good and noble qualities, someone who loves them and regularly shows them, in Rogers's words, unconditional positive regard. How awful that is! I feel these people can benefit from a loving therapist who can help them to step back and see their life from 10,000 feet, to ignite the pilot light of self-love within themselves, and to escape the toxic people in their lives, if possible. But as for this forever-analysis stuff--no thanks. Keep up the good work!
From my deep exploration into this very thing over many decades, I would say that particularly if a person has an individual design then they will more resonate with what you are saying here. Not everyone does, though. One of my teachers said something very important to me once that we got messed up relationally so we need to get 'un-messed up' relationally, as well... maybe starting and ending with our relationship with ourselves, but also in relationships with other souls. Both are needed, or so is my sense. I have greatly benefitted from therapy and I have greatly benefitted from, as Buddha said, 'being a light unto myself'. We live in a binary and all coins have 2 sides here, so I would wish your listeners to listen to their own inner knowing for themselves, and if the shoe fits... to honor both sides of working with themselves and allowing others (professional and non) to be a part of their process... and hopefully they will find the right others. Offered with best wishes for all.
Precisely because therapy should be a personal choice should it ever be pushed upon another. If it works for you that's great but people need to make an informed choice not just be told they "need" it.
It's interesting how you perpetuate this mentality of balance. Yet, everywhere in the world we see unbalance! Murder, Pedophilia, Abuse and violence. The evil thrives, while goodness gets tortured. No balance!
Self-analysis is an impossible feat for MANY MANY people. This is why therapists exist in the first place. Good on you for being able to be your own therapist, but it does not work for many people.
Exactly. Cause I have been able to self therapy for years. I went though significant trauma that there is NO WAY IN HELL I would be able to fully recover from myself. I need intensive trauma care.
He critiques the modern infrastructure and medicalization of "therapy" as medicine, *NOT* the value of connection and supportive empathy for an individual. This therapeutic investigation needs to be divested of the structural violence perpetuated by and created by this modern institution. Therapy can be art classes, journaling, dance class, and so much more. It's a form of inner permission to seek out health and not receive someone else's version of it.
@@archiesimpson5172 I don't completely agree with that statement. I tell people what they should do all the time. I have good ideas. You don't have to take my ideas, but you should consider them. I think that's true maturity; To take someone's advice and criticism into consideration.
@@ThoughtProvokingVlogs I once had an elder tell me that he never gives advice, because we all have our own life experiences and what he would do is not necessarily what I should do. I find what you are saying to be very paternalistic and condescending. True maturity is finding the wisdom from within. We are all born with this inner wisdom, but have it harangues out of us by people constantly forcing their own points of view on us.
@@archiesimpson5172 That's true there are many factors that may make a solution not work out. Perhaps part of my response was condescending, however I am going off on how I used to never listen to people when they gave me advice in the past when they had good intentions (as far as I can tell anyway), and it would frustrate those who offered me advice when I wouldn't even consider it. When I started to clear my headspace and actually listened to others I realized that sometimes the suggestions they offered were good and made sense. Inner wisdom can come from within but we all have strengths and weaknesses, and sometimes we need help looking at things from other angles.
I think I agree that a therapist is only part of your own program of self-healing. Getting to the bottom of your own stuff seems to be really important but there also seems to be something to having your stuff witnessed by another human being. Brene Brown says: Show me a man who can sit with a woman is her vulnerability, and not try to fix it, and I’ll show you a man who has done his work, and who doesn’t have his self-worth wrapped up in solving everything. And show me a woman who can sit with a man in his vulnerability, and I’ll show you a woman who has done her work and doesn’t derive her power from that man. Maybe therapists are the only ones who have done enough work to sit with us in our vulnerability. But if you have friends like that, then wow, good for you!
My second therapist was a high school guidance counselor. I was so deeply depressed that I didn't know what to say or how to begin. I was hoping he would draw me out and ask questions. Instead, we sat there for an uncomfortable five minutes. Then he kicked me out of his office, saying that I was wasting his time. I was going to kill myself at that point. My older brother, who sexually abused me when I was young, and then began hitting me and calling me a head case when I was in high school, made my life a living hell. Then I started smoking pot. Finally I found a peaceful place in my mind and I could cope with an uncaring and cold high school and an even worse home life. I know it's not the right answer, but for me it was a life saver. Needless to say, therapy can be an iffy proposition. I did well in life although I feel cheated my innocence was stolen and alot of men were mean to me for no reason at all. I think ii would take an exceptional therapist to help me sort out my issues. I am sixty years old now and it's too daunting to think about trying to go through all that pain. I just take care of myself and try to enjoy each day.
I was just considering therapy is for me or not n this video is God send. I left therapy 1 yr ago thinking its nit for me till i considered again but i had doubts. Thank i do go into therapy with skepticism but felt sometimes guilty of it. But now i dont after viewing this video. Also you keep talking about journalism but i find it hard to write. I hate writing because my mind works faster than my hand n it causes alot of irritatiin n frustration. Can you talj about this issue of not liking to write?
Just begin. At first your writing might seem erratic or chaotic, but if you keep going it will gain some flow. It will help you to observe your thoughts and feelings, to gain some detachement from them. It might also help to create a dialogue within yourself: write down a question and pay attention if an answer comes up within, then write it down. You'll gain a lot of knowledge and perspective. You will also find patterns, different experiences and people that made you feel exactly the same way, for ex. unloved, disrespected, hurt, taken advantage of, etc. You can then examine those emotions you find to be common denominators and ask yourself when you as a child felt that way, what happened to you that generated that emotion. Once you see all that happened to you that caused the emotions that are now running your life you will hold yourself with a newfound compassion for you will see all your percieved shortcomings and mistakes in a new light, and you will never feel alone again, cause you will become your own best friend. You will come to gain a lot of insight from this practice. It also helps pinpoint when in your life you draw false conclusions, about yourself, your value and deservability, about how capable you percieve yourself to be, about life, about men and women, about work, about the world (do you percieve it to be safe?), about people (can people be trusted?).
A lot of prominent therapists try to insist that you can't do self-therapy. That you need a psychotherapist. I find this patently false not to mention self-serving.
Glad you did not use absolutes. Yes, some do better through self-therapy and supportive environments yet many, like myself, require a trusted therapist alongside my self-therapy. Although you raise an interesting point, I find this could be threatening to vulnerable people who are suffering yet are fearful of starting therapy because of the stigma. The ideas mentioned allow them to further reason not going to therapy when it could be beneficial. But yes, ultimately, the decision should be made by the individual if they want to go to therapy, no one else (unless they are a harm to themselves or others).
Hi Daniel, I know from your videos that you have been through some health struggles yourself, and I'm curious if you might have any specific self-therapy suggestions for people suffering with chronic illness (books, resources, journaling techniques, etc)?
Can we get a video of tappering off of medicine. Doctors won't tell us. I've been told I was crazy over and over again for getting off the meds cold Turkey. 9 trips to the nut house. Currently looking at 100 years in prison for being wacked out from quitting the meds cold Turkey. I've researched enough to figure out how to tapper but nobody was ever going to tell me. This is the problem
Hey Daniel. I think you’d be very interested in hearing this man’s thoughts on therapy/psychiatry, etc. Seems like a very erudite and wise person indeed. Having followed your channel for quite some time, I also place you somewhere in this ‘catergory’, thus would be most interested to know what you thought about this conversation that he has with Will Hall (yet, another awesome and knowledgeable person in every sense of the word). You can just give a thumbs up 👍🏻 or down , or something neutral 🤙🏻 (so I have a gist of what you think). I’d really appreciate that, if you have the time/inclination of course. Thanks again for all your vids. and keep up the good work! 👍🏻😃 th-cam.com/video/MQK0rRm29Z0/w-d-xo.html
3:00 You talk about children being hostage to the broken family dynamics you also say to keep children out of therapy because the adults are the problem, not the child. So far it makes sense. But here you say that you would ask the parents to be the person the child is supposed to talk to. And I don't know, but I do know that I as a kid wouldn't have been able to verbalize my needs- and especially not towards my parents. This meta level where you Analyse your emotional needs and then succeed to put them into words that the abusers understand and would win them over? I don't think you can ask that of kids. Well, at least I wouldn't have been able to. So no. I doubt that a parent can fill that role of a mediater and translater. Yes ideally the parent already is that person to talk to. But reality is that the parents emotionally abuse the kid without even being aware of it. So when someone else could fill the gap and help the parent being aware and and how to do it better, that's how I can see therapy for kids helping and being a good idea. For adults I am with you about self therapy. But again, not everybody is capable.
I was in the exact same situation (Clinical Depression/CFS) and I couldn’t even find the strength to read most days, so I hear you. For me, it was essential to address the physical problems before I could dig deeper into the trauma I had experienced. Beriberi (translated literally: “I can’t, I can’t” because that’s what it feels like every day with beriberi) is the name for thiamin (vitamin B1) deficiency, which has turned out to be one of the causes of my CFS. Dr. Derrick Lonsdale has information about accurate testing for beriberi, and how to treat it on the website Hormones Matter. I just wanted to tell you because I wish I’d known this information fourteen years ago when I first got sick.
Dan can we have a reading list of books that have helped you?
Actually my most recent post on my website is on this subject:
wildtruth.net/some-book-recommendations-psychology-and-more/
@@dmackler58 Thanks Dan you should pin this message!
@@dmackler58 thank you!
@@dmackler58 How could you be so good at having real friends when you had not learnt and didn't know how to form and keep relationships?I don't really have any good ones (left), and tend to seek my original family in order to feel connection and belonging,even though they don't appreciate me as I am worth , or interact. I feel better with some contact than none and the familiarity and comfort of meeting them , whom I have old history with, gives me a sense of wellbeíng and sense of connection, however brief and superficial. And my knowledge of us all being much bigger and closer actually, than what we are able to live/show, helps too. As well as knowing that they have their únhealed traumas that cause hurtful treatment, lack of contact and unhealthy patterns.
Carl Jung once answered a question about child psychology and he said “Leave the children alone. Send the parents to me for six months and the children will be fine.“
Hahahah its true. I allways did better when i was away from my Parents at a Place where People cared for me
I seriously would've been better off if I raised myself as a kid like omg.
(Like let's say a robot raised me instead so I got to school and the basic needs met, I'd be fine, all my parents did was mentally fuck me up and denied me the right to be authentic and connect with others.)
@@HakuCell Children are still learning the world around them. It's not their fault if their perception around them is wrong.
Perfectionism is not the right way of how a child should be taught, or at least in my opinion.
@@gingerisevil02 indeed. i worked at a preschool and it's so hard in this culture to preserve the integrity and natural energy of kids, but if it could happen, it would be a treasure to the world. i remember a comment under a Gabor Maté video, reading "when you're self-connected, you're a treasure to the world".. you surely are, to This sickened world. search on youtube "isolated tribe's touching message for the modern world", you will see the Jarawas, a still-living native, self-sufficient tribe /community.
also, search on youtube "Gabor Maté clues series", you will find a playlist. in the "8th clue" and "11th clue" videos, Gabor describes native humans as looking beautifully present and self-connected, a certain ease and authenticity. He also says that the hunter-gatherer tribe has been found to be the "ideal nurturing environment for kids, where parents are still instinctual, self-connected, connected with the child, and non-indoctrinated, and self-sufficient, a sense of autonomy in their lives.. community.. human needs.. because that's what we're evolutionary adapted to.
@@HakuCell YES to everything you said. I love Gabor Maté and his work. Also Gordon Neufeld. They actually co-authored a book Hold On To Your Kids. And Gordon has a lot of TH-cam videos as well.
A hug! I needed a hug as a child. But my mother lived with her back towards me and my father kept his distance and did not really interact. I often felt like I was withering away from pure lack of touch and loneliness.
👋🤗
Comoane B / Me, too. My childhood lacked the steady supply of warmth & confirmation 🌈🧸☀️
Same!! Omg I craved affection so bad!! I really wanted a bf even just to get those affection needs met, but was traumatized by my "father" who was a creep and asserted dominance and threatened my autonomy and safety whenever I go close to having a bf. I felt deprived. I was deprived.
you are not alone
I agree I think, but when the stacked-up crisis complex is so big and so entangled and bodily functions being too broken down and one is too isolated/lonely to be real enough anymore to know how to structure it and know the right course of action.
Daniel Mackler's method of self-therapy saved my life when psychotherapists and medication didn't help. I'm in such a better place than I was a year ago.
I espouse self-therapy to anyone who listens, but our society is so professionally and medically focused, people often don't take me seriously, which is a damn shame.
People want to believe a magic pill or a super hero “professional” is going to swoop in and solve all their problems. They don’t want to get their hands dirty doing the hard inner work themselves
@@Sketch_Sesh Most were brainwashed into that type of thinking though.
Darcy Royce - Therapeutic Art ln Rhythm and Rhyme It’s your opinion that it’s my opinion
Did you find that safety and stability in your life accelerated the process?
@@pod9363 Safety and stability in life is very helpful for healing, I might say even it's necessary. But it's tricky, because safety and stability can very easily lull you into a sort of comfortable dissociation. I've found romantic relationships in particular foster this kind of dissociation. That's what I'm primarily struggling with at the moment anyway.
So, as long as you don't let safety and stability turn into dissociative comfort, I believe it's a very helpful thing to have in your life to promote healing.
This sounds like Carl Rogers approach, he felt that therapy is just leading people to the realization you had (that the help you need is inside you!)
You validate people a lot. And that is such a lovely kindness from you. Thank you.
Some people are in it for the grandiosity. Well put! Some "helpers" are like that and if they "help" me it makes me feel small.
Thanks so much for this thoughtful & comprehensive advice. Where Counseling & therapy failed me, was at the point of my understanding that I was a client paying people large sums of money to listen to me: Once I realized that, I walked away. I want & need people to like me & care about me, because they want to out of free will. Not because it’s their job. ~ I stopped going to therapy a few years ago & I stepped up my self study & self care. I found lots of helpful resources & I make use of them, by paying attention to what works for me, and letting go of painful people & situations ( as best I can ) . Finally, I stopped recommending therapy. Instead I practice loving acceptance & encouragement . ~ Much appreciation to Dan for sharing his insights & warm encouragement. 💁🏻♀️ ❤️ 🌼 🐣 👋
Honestly the only reason why I even seek therapy is because no one around me wants to talk about what happened, and the rare time they do they don't know what to say. I hate feeling like I'm burdening my friends and family with issues too, but having someone just listen would be nice.
Your videos are so insightful. It drives me crazy when my husband keeps saying my son needs therapy. He has had therapy for years and it hasn't worked, plus it always makes him so angry when my husband tells him that. I really feel your way is the best way.
I think I need a combination of therapy, medication, and living on my alone to fix my situation. My house has hurt me so badly mentally. My mom and brother. Horrible to live with.
wish you the best luck with your life bro :) I too have had a quite toxic past..
@Chris, i do relate
Try to avoid the medication. You know that your problem is your environment, nothing wrong with your brain,.
Have you seen Daniels film, entitled Fix these broken wings?.. th-cam.com/video/edaxwaiIrQU/w-d-xo.html .
Best of Luck
@@Jaredthedude1 nothing wrong with the brain before meds 👍
IMO one of Daniel’s best videos. It’s an Inside Job
Thank goodness for a voice presenting a different point of view. A refreshing alternative to an industry which has profit and self seeking at its heart.
I'm happy that you've posted a new video. You are a brilliant and wise person who can break down complex topics in an easy to understand way. This video was excellent
If you're stuck and overwhelmed then you may well need therapy, it's just finding a good one.
What I lacked and yearned for (unknowingly) throughout my youth was an intelligent, similarly sensitive, caring, encouraging older man/ adult male.
I think I was too philosophical and sensitive for my environment.
This fucked me up and can't be undone I think.
Sometimes I wish I could go through the screen to give you a hug, but then I think of how weird that would come across to be hugged by a stranger lol
I appreciate you and the content you put out!
Thanks Daniel
Thanks Daniel, for your healing insights, your talent for articulating them, and your generous, courageous sharing!
My Mother is the same. She allways tells me that i need therapy but i think she forgets that she was the person who hurt me with lies, screaming, projecting her problems on me and being a controll freak. When she really would want to help me she would change herself and stop lying etc.
My father doesnt say i need to go to therapy but hes basicly the same as my Mother. A liar and his head hes still a little Child so he isnt able to be a real father. I cant even speak to him often cause its allways about him , about his problems and about his thinkings. Its never really about what i think.
To be honest its horrible.
Awwww precious! Yes yes yes, you intuitively did what we must. Comforting, reparenting, earning our own respect and offering ourselves love and patience... it’s the way.
no
@@Jaredthedude1 yes
Ultimately we have to problem solve ourselves.. no-one can do it for us.
Being on disability and barely able to pay the rent, I can't find anyone. So I am on my own fighting tooth and nail. Am getting better at shutting down. My recovery is at stake
@@ekat3 Ever since my dad died in front of me in April 2013 an my career and income crashed in Jan 2014, I have been on this isolated island. Being on disability , I have also had to change med insurance six times since all this went down. Right now all 8 of my doctors are on hold. Trusting my Higher power and not my feelings. Had counselor a couple of years ago
@@RandyR I'm on disability also, it's rough. Some people don't understand how hard it is to qualify to receive it. I've fallen on really hard times where I used to have my own apartment but now I'm living in my parents basement. I'm trying to find a room and board place to live in because my parents quite literally drive me crazy. It's a rough world out there. I wish you good luck and the best.
Praying for the best for you. Sending love.
I just listened to your psychiatry hospital video and wow! I so agree. I did one day volunteer work in a psychiatric institution in the nineties when I worked for the Health Department and I was horrified. They herded people to the toilets all at the same time like cattle, making them all strip and run bottom naked to the toilets. I was stunned at how callous the institution/hospital was toward the patients. Appalling.
This was a phenomenal video. I related so much. Thank you!
Thank you for sharing Daniel 🙏💪👍🤗
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You need therapy is just a modern cliche. Absolutely right.
I do find therapy helpful.
My therapist helps put a language to my experience.
I also really want to try intensive trauma processing. I'm waiting to go to an EMDR center.
I know all the roots to my stuff, I need to leave a bad environment, but I don't know how to change my mental responses.
I need therapy cause I am too traumatized to reconnect without help. Some people do need therapy. I'm afraid of people and do not know how to rebuild.
yes.. which is an adjunct to your internal process/self-therapy... which is what Dan agreed to in this vid.
Flying fig after sharing my trauma with this therapist, and having her invalidate it (yesterday,) I realize I was just being grateful for scraps because she understand parental narcissism, but still was super stigmatizing me for how I've reacted. She just shortened down what I already knew with labels I deep down already knew.
I do want to try EMDR for my self therapy process of un-learning unhealthy process cause I have severe insomnia, but this talk therapy shit I can do on my own.
@@gingerisevil02 Not sure if you already sought out that EMDR, but if not yet, I would encourage you to simply sign up for a yoga or pilates class that meets once or twice a week. That will help with the sleep issues and help give you space to reconnect with your breath and heartbeat. I am so sorry you were invalidated and dehumanized by that therapist, and hope you are able to begin your journey to freedom and joy. Wishing you well!
Just, one of the best videos on TH-cam. So gorgeous to hear, so accurate. Very impressed to hear this unique perspective being told from a non-spiritual perspective. My spirit guides gave this experience to me in addition to reading Jung etc... Other people sometimes get it from mushrooms or other psychedelics. I’m so impressed you did this basically solo!
I agree with this. Therapy should be used as a stepping stone for one self-therapy is too painful or too confusing for the client to do, but eventually the client must learn to do therapy on there own. Group therapy is better than individual therapy as you are around others who are also suffering and can empathize with you.
Great video! Thank you for putting that out there.
Awesome video, Daniel!!
Daniel, thank you so much for this video. It spoke to me on many levels and encouraged me to continue going deeper in my journey of self-discovery during these uncertain times.
I'm on my second therapist right now. The first focused mostly on CBT, and while I learned some things about myself, it felt too clinical and, well, not very whole-person. My second therapist, who I'm still seeing via Skype during the pandemic, has a Jungian bent and an interest in dream work. That stuff seems fun to analyze and speculate about, but I question how much it really helps. It seems like you can go in circles forever.
Do I *need* therapy? It doesn't feel like it. I like to think much of my progress has been self-driven. I meditate, I do a lot of spiritual and philosophical reading, I volunteered for a suicide crisis line to practice my listening and relational skills. And I notice that none of these activities involve an exchange of money--they simply involve me relating more deeply to myself or to others in an authentic way.
I love what you say about people needing to be plugged into their communities more. And to listen to each other. (Another commenter here mentioned Carl Rogers; I also thought of him as I watched this video.) Have you read Johann Hari's book Lost Connections? I think you'd dig it.
I'm fortunate to have a girlfriend and family who love and support me. But an awful lot of people out there don't have anyone in their life with good and noble qualities, someone who loves them and regularly shows them, in Rogers's words, unconditional positive regard. How awful that is! I feel these people can benefit from a loving therapist who can help them to step back and see their life from 10,000 feet, to ignite the pilot light of self-love within themselves, and to escape the toxic people in their lives, if possible. But as for this forever-analysis stuff--no thanks.
Keep up the good work!
Art can be quite therapeutic
What a great guy! 🌟
From my deep exploration into this very thing over many decades, I would say that particularly if a person has an individual design then they will more resonate with what you are saying here. Not everyone does, though. One of my teachers said something very important to me once that we got messed up relationally so we need to get 'un-messed up' relationally, as well... maybe starting and ending with our relationship with ourselves, but also in relationships with other souls. Both are needed, or so is my sense. I have greatly benefitted from therapy and I have greatly benefitted from, as Buddha said, 'being a light unto myself'. We live in a binary and all coins have 2 sides here, so I would wish your listeners to listen to their own inner knowing for themselves, and if the shoe fits... to honor both sides of working with themselves and allowing others (professional and non) to be a part of their process... and hopefully they will find the right others. Offered with best wishes for all.
Precisely because therapy should be a personal choice should it ever be pushed upon another. If it works for you that's great but people need to make an informed choice not just be told they "need" it.
It's interesting how you perpetuate this mentality of balance.
Yet, everywhere in the world we see unbalance!
Murder, Pedophilia, Abuse and violence.
The evil thrives, while goodness gets tortured.
No balance!
Just yes ! Thanks Daniel.
Thanks Daniel! I've already been doing self-therapy but you give me further motivation!
Thank you for these inspiring talks !
Self-analysis is an impossible feat for MANY MANY people. This is why therapists exist in the first place. Good on you for being able to be your own therapist, but it does not work for many people.
Some people need the support, but the emphasis should be on the client helping themselves
Exactly. Cause I have been able to self therapy for years. I went though significant trauma that there is NO WAY IN HELL I would be able to fully recover from myself. I need intensive trauma care.
Exactly people with personality disorders, do not have the ability to look inside them self, at least most of them. They need help of therapist.
@@barbarazmijan1062 you need to gain an understanding of the therapeutic process
He critiques the modern infrastructure and medicalization of "therapy" as medicine, *NOT* the value of connection and supportive empathy for an individual. This therapeutic investigation needs to be divested of the structural violence perpetuated by and created by this modern institution. Therapy can be art classes, journaling, dance class, and so much more. It's a form of inner permission to seek out health and not receive someone else's version of it.
The terms "You need to get help." "You need therapy." is doused in so much ignorance 🙄
Not to mention arrogance. Like who the hell are you to tell me I need therapy?
@@archiesimpson5172 I don't completely agree with that statement. I tell people what they should do all the time. I have good ideas. You don't have to take my ideas, but you should consider them. I think that's true maturity; To take someone's advice and criticism into consideration.
@@ThoughtProvokingVlogs I once had an elder tell me that he never gives advice, because we all have our own life experiences and what he would do is not necessarily what I should do. I find what you are saying to be very paternalistic and condescending. True maturity is finding the wisdom from within. We are all born with this inner wisdom, but have it harangues out of us by people constantly forcing their own points of view on us.
@@archiesimpson5172 That's true there are many factors that may make a solution not work out. Perhaps part of my response was condescending, however I am going off on how I used to never listen to people when they gave me advice in the past when they had good intentions (as far as I can tell anyway), and it would frustrate those who offered me advice when I wouldn't even consider it. When I started to clear my headspace and actually listened to others I realized that sometimes the suggestions they offered were good and made sense. Inner wisdom can come from within but we all have strengths and weaknesses, and sometimes we need help looking at things from other angles.
@@ThoughtProvokingVlogs Was the advice solicited or unsolicited?
That’s positive and good
I think I agree that a therapist is only part of your own program of self-healing.
Getting to the bottom of your own stuff seems to be really important but there also seems to be something to having your stuff witnessed by another human being.
Brene Brown says:
Show me a man who can sit with a woman is her vulnerability, and not try to fix it, and I’ll show you a man who has done his work, and who doesn’t have his self-worth wrapped up in solving everything. And show me a woman who can sit with a man in his vulnerability, and I’ll show you a woman who has done her work and doesn’t derive her power from that man.
Maybe therapists are the only ones who have done enough work to sit with us in our vulnerability. But if you have friends like that, then wow, good for you!
Love this
My first therapist called my issues "mickey mouse". He brushed it off saying that all kids do that stuff when they're young.
WAIT so a social primate in distress just needs more connection with other primates?! *cRaZy* 👁👄👁
/s
Love this. Thank you.
LOVED IT!
My second therapist was a high school guidance counselor. I was so deeply depressed that I didn't know what to say or how to begin. I was hoping he would draw me out and ask questions. Instead, we sat there for an uncomfortable five minutes. Then he kicked me out of his office, saying that I was wasting his time. I was going to kill myself at that point. My older brother, who sexually abused me when I was young, and then began hitting me and calling me a head case when I was in high school, made my life a living hell. Then I started smoking pot. Finally I found a peaceful place in my mind and I could cope with an uncaring and cold high school and an even worse home life. I know it's not the right answer, but for me it was a life saver. Needless to say, therapy can be an iffy proposition. I did well in life although I feel cheated my innocence was stolen and alot of men were mean to me for no reason at all. I think ii would take an exceptional therapist to help me sort out my issues. I am sixty years old now and it's too daunting to think about trying to go through all that pain. I just take care of myself and try to enjoy each day.
I hope you will find peace one day.
The problem with having a therapist earn your respect is you have to pay them while they're earning your respect. That bothers me.
I was just considering therapy is for me or not n this video is God send. I left therapy 1 yr ago thinking its nit for me till i considered again but i had doubts. Thank i do go into therapy with skepticism but felt sometimes guilty of it. But now i dont after viewing this video. Also you keep talking about journalism but i find it hard to write. I hate writing because my mind works faster than my hand n it causes alot of irritatiin n frustration. Can you talj about this issue of not liking to write?
Yess i relate about not liking to write and struggling with it!
Just begin. At first your writing might seem erratic or chaotic, but if you keep going it will gain some flow. It will help you to observe your thoughts and feelings, to gain some detachement from them. It might also help to create a dialogue within yourself: write down a question and pay attention if an answer comes up within, then write it down. You'll gain a lot of knowledge and perspective. You will also find patterns, different experiences and people that made you feel exactly the same way, for ex. unloved, disrespected, hurt, taken advantage of, etc. You can then examine those emotions you find to be common denominators and ask yourself when you as a child felt that way, what happened to you that generated that emotion. Once you see all that happened to you that caused the emotions that are now running your life you will hold yourself with a newfound compassion for you will see all your percieved shortcomings and mistakes in a new light, and you will never feel alone again, cause you will become your own best friend. You will come to gain a lot of insight from this practice. It also helps pinpoint when in your life you draw false conclusions, about yourself, your value and deservability, about how capable you percieve yourself to be, about life, about men and women, about work, about the world (do you percieve it to be safe?), about people (can people be trusted?).
@@Fotini.s how do you journal? Is der a book or guide to how to journal?
This is doubly good advice because therapy is pretty much just for rich people.
A lot of prominent therapists try to insist that you can't do self-therapy. That you need a psychotherapist. I find this patently false not to mention self-serving.
Glad you did not use absolutes. Yes, some do better through self-therapy and supportive environments yet many, like myself, require a trusted therapist alongside my self-therapy. Although you raise an interesting point, I find this could be threatening to vulnerable people who are suffering yet are fearful of starting therapy because of the stigma. The ideas mentioned allow them to further reason not going to therapy when it could be beneficial. But yes, ultimately, the decision should be made by the individual if they want to go to therapy, no one else (unless they are a harm to themselves or others).
Hi Daniel, I know from your videos that you have been through some health struggles yourself, and I'm curious if you might have any specific self-therapy suggestions for people suffering with chronic illness (books, resources, journaling techniques, etc)?
I'm not Daniel, but I have found Peggy Cappy yoga and meditation helpful for my chronic pain.
Hi DM, do you have an opinion/ theory on covid19?
We are connected emotionally or in some kind of slavery.
Who guessed that social animals have inter personal emotional needs.
Can we get a video of tappering off of medicine. Doctors won't tell us. I've been told I was crazy over and over again for getting off the meds cold Turkey. 9 trips to the nut house. Currently looking at 100 years in prison for being wacked out from quitting the meds cold Turkey. I've researched enough to figure out how to tapper but nobody was ever going to tell me. This is the problem
Hey Daniel. I think you’d be very interested in hearing this man’s thoughts on therapy/psychiatry, etc. Seems like a very erudite and wise person indeed. Having followed your channel for quite some time, I also place you somewhere in this ‘catergory’, thus would be most interested to know what you thought about this conversation that he has with Will Hall (yet, another awesome and knowledgeable person in every sense of the word). You can just give a thumbs up 👍🏻 or down , or something neutral 🤙🏻 (so I have a gist of what you think). I’d really appreciate that, if you have the time/inclination of course. Thanks again for all your vids. and keep up the good work! 👍🏻😃
th-cam.com/video/MQK0rRm29Z0/w-d-xo.html
3:00 You talk about children being hostage to the broken family dynamics you also say to keep children out of therapy because the adults are the problem, not the child. So far it makes sense. But here you say that you would ask the parents to be the person the child is supposed to talk to. And I don't know, but I do know that I as a kid wouldn't have been able to verbalize my needs- and especially not towards my parents. This meta level where you Analyse your emotional needs and then succeed to put them into words that the abusers understand and would win them over? I don't think you can ask that of kids. Well, at least I wouldn't have been able to. So no. I doubt that a parent can fill that role of a mediater and translater. Yes ideally the parent already is that person to talk to. But reality is that the parents emotionally abuse the kid without even being aware of it. So when someone else could fill the gap and help the parent being aware and and how to do it better, that's how I can see therapy for kids helping and being a good idea.
For adults I am with you about self therapy. But again, not everybody is capable.
Self therapy when I’ve been bedridden for years by depression & chronic fatigue...okay sure
I was in the exact same situation (Clinical Depression/CFS) and I couldn’t even find the strength to read most days, so I hear you. For me, it was essential to address the physical problems before I could dig deeper into the trauma I had experienced.
Beriberi (translated literally: “I can’t, I can’t” because that’s what it feels like every day with beriberi) is the name for thiamin (vitamin B1) deficiency, which has turned out to be one of the causes of my CFS. Dr. Derrick Lonsdale has information about accurate testing for beriberi, and how to treat it on the website Hormones Matter. I just wanted to tell you because I wish I’d known this information fourteen years ago when I first got sick.
Talk about this coronavirus pandemic
the only person who can help you is yourself.
Seeking help doesn't hurt.
@ken s, false
Yep your 3rd eye is starting to show ~:o
You're ok with JPs stance then? - th-cam.com/video/lH4FNW0TqZE/w-d-xo.html