Interview with an Expert: How Childhood Messages Can Cause Infidelity or Addiction
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 8 ต.ค. 2024
- Today Samuel interviews best selling author Thomas Gagliano and discusses self sabotage, infidelity and addiction
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Amanda, Florida
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Samuel is an infidelity survivor and is one of many contributors to Affair Recovery's Survivors’ Blog, www.affairreco.... He participated in Affair Recovery's courses developed by founder and infidelity expert Rick Reynolds, LCSW. After finding healing, hope, and new life, Samuel wishes to share his journey and what AffairRecovery.com has to offer with others so they too can find hope and healing.
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Doesn’t matter what side of the fence your on... this was spot on. The Key to Intimacy are the uncomfortable conversations that we don’t run away from - ❤️ loved that !
Thank you .
Excellent! Thank you for this post. Love the comment, "You have to heal what's broken, or you'll just switch seats on the Titanic." Wow!
At last!!! Thank you Samuel for hosting this guest and just letting him talk. What an honor to hear his brilliant words
This is so spot on. Married 10 years, betrayed 10 years, and after 28 months trying to recover, I had to let go. His "willingness" to recover isn't there: he loves his family so much he won't get to this part of recovery. I hope this helps those who truly wish to become healthy; thank you for all you do, both AR and Thomas 💗
I am focusing on me, feeling stronger every day. I pray for my husband daily, but my prayer now is for his safety and peace, no longer that he'll "get it". I wish him healing
Andrea Heuertz -
I am in the same place, also at 28 months. My husband still can’t even tell me the entire truth. I need to follow your lead. I’m sending good energy and thoughts your way- and I will think about you and your healing.
We are living with each other’s childhood messages? Strong realizations. Deep trauma unveiled.
“Addictions are symptoms...they’re not the problem”. So much good content in this blog👍🏾
What a POWERFUL message!!!! Thank you thank you. Healing isn’t about blame- each other or our parents- once self awareness is faced and survived- it’s a powerful to find the issue and just learn how to move on. Thanks again.
So friggin spot on and could be more real, I feel every part of this discussion
"The cemetery is filled with people that thought they could handle their addictions alone." 💔
elle lee A to the men!
I felt that 💔
I would love to hear more videos on this subject. Great message for the spouses living with an addict.
Truth. Just great Samuel. This path saved my life.
Starts in discomfort is true. I know this well. Knowledge only goes so far. It takes working steps for myself to get well, detachment with love and prayer that there is a chance of recovery. Thank you 12 step programs and AR for hope of recovery. Another great blog here!
For me recovery is a WE process not a ME process. Finds those you can trust to help guide your healing process.
I loved this! Thank you for putting this together. I am wondering why the unfaithful or the addicts pretend they can be in and open up in relationships such as marriage? Why are they willing to hurt someone that they know loves them with all their heart when they know they will never open up to their spouse?
they just aren't that present with themselves. usually they haven't done the work to even know that or realize that and they live in denial. or they push it down so that they don't have to face that reality. every situation is different my friend, but an expert or expert program can help you and or him: www.affairrecovery.com/programs-and-courses/online-courses www.affairrecovery.com/product/ems-weekend
@@samshealingpodcast It comes from childhood, core beliefs, and time traveling. Addicts are emotional cripples and are afraid if they become transparent they will be hurt as they were in childhood when they opened up so they shut down as a survival mechanism they used in childhood.
They aren’t pretending. They simply don’t know how! They don’t know what they don’t know…like many humans.
They don’t know what a committed, healthy, relationship looks like, or takes. They might “want” to show up, but they don’t know all the pieces of the puzzle that make it work.
They didn’t have the modeling, attunement, and have an insecure attachment style.
Due to all of that, they don’t have good emotional intelligence (self awareness is one aspect of that).
They often are in an unrealized, subconscious, autonomic nervous system activation. Most are in fight/flight/freeze/fawn, as a result. That ongoing survival mode doesn’t allow for higher cognitive realms, considering risk, consequences, what others are experiencing…very easily.
If you look at the neuroscience and psychology, it’s so much easier to take less personally.
What’s even more eye opening is when we realize we didn’t see indications, red flags, due to our own early attachment psychic wounding. We often have blind spots due to our own insecure attachment style.
So, we have our own healing to do. When we didn’t learn our own needs, that we could have boundaries, and how to communicate them clearly, and navigate conflict confidently…we often don’t see early indicators of other’s woundedness.
If we dismiss ourselves, invalidate our own needs…we likely are attracted to, tolerate, a partner who does the same. Often we aren’t even aware we are doing this. Listen to your automatic internal dialogue…is it anything like your spouses? Time to rewrite that dialogue, have your own back, know your infinite worth.
What an awesome video. We are walking through this as we speak.
That was awesome!!! Ty God bless you
WOW! THIS IS SOOO HEALING!! Thank you so much!
Your very welcome
What a brilliant video. Thank you so much
Loved this and agree with it. Would like to hear more of this guest, please.?
Hello Sam I need help is there someone I can contact? And I'm going to register for the couples program on the 10th. But we need help on some questions.
“addicts are emotional cripples. addictions are substitutes for intimacy” I’m done doing this. I just bought both his books. Game on!
Thank you and hope the books help bring self- awareness and self- compassion
Outstanding.
Love it!
I don't think it's true that the unfaithful was never the priority. I think that they most definitely were not the priority at the time of the affair. But I don't believe what he said that they were NEVER the priority. I know my husband was always my priority, but I did lose sight of that at certain points throughout the relationship.
What do you do to correct your insecurities and fear of rejection! What steps do you take.
find an expert therapist and start to do work in that area with that therapist. i would also ask that same professional for books you can read and other resources they would recommend. make sure they are an expert though.
@@samshealingpodcast We are guided by many manufactures and imagined fears created by intrusive childhood messages. Allowing other professional or trusted friends can help us decipher the real fears from the false so we don't allow those imagined fears to guide our behaviors.
Yankees fan!? This Indians fan will forgive his misguided faith in NY. :-)