After Infidelity: 4 Personal Transformation Stages for Betrayed and Wayward Spouses
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 4 ส.ค. 2021
- Today Samuel ...
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Samuel is an infidelity survivor and is one of many contributors to Affair Recovery's Survivors’ Blog, www.affairrecovery.com/our-blog. He participated in Affair Recovery's courses developed by founder and infidelity expert Rick Reynolds, LCSW. After finding healing, hope, and new life, Samuel wishes to share his journey and what AffairRecovery.com has to offer with others so they too can find hope and healing.
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I watch everything you have posted , I did my therapist thing. I am now waiting for my wayward spouse to learn to do all these things. The biggest thing he needs to learn is how to have empathy for me.
thank you for watching my friend. means a ton. glad i could help in some small way.
Yep, that was the problem i was having. My wife took the easy way out and tuned the whole affair out. I was left with the emotional burden while she just buried it.
True
I love to talk to one of your therapist but if financially below the belt. I can’t afford it. I just watched most of your videos and I am learning a lot. I even tried your free boot camp. It’s just sad it’s just me that is willing to do the fixing. 😢 I am just waiting for the storm to pass… everything is out of control right now. Thank you for sharing all these videos for free.
Thank you Samuel, I continue to be stuck on the heart break, pain and anger. I needed this, I need help sorting through my thoughts and although I want to save my family, I find it hard to push through every day 🙏💔😞
i totally get it. i'm so sorry it's so tough, but honored to be a part of your journey. it's a one day at a time type deal my friend. you can do this.
Powerful Powerful message. The work is 24/7
thank you
This is where m at. It is not easy. It looks like showing up does not make any difference. I feel hurt, scared of the person l thought l knew.
showing up always makes a difference for you! you are your own work and your own patient. showing up is always worth it my friend because you and your own healing and your own well being are worth it. it often times looks hopeless, but we can't go just by what it looks like. we have to take care of us and do the work we need to do to heal. what help are you using for your own healing? is your spouse open to getting help at all?
This is perfect timing to hear this. Thank you.
thank you so much. encourages me a ton.
Hi Sam, I will continue to pray for you. Your videos have opened my heart to learn about humility and forgiving. Is there a video where you Samantha speaks about how she managed to heal? Thank you
This is very helpful. Having lots of despair due to lack of/no contact means finding these stages to identify with and lean on has been very grounding.
so glad it helped Chris.
Thank you Samuel. You are inspiring, timely and much appreciated always.
means the world to hear that. thank you so much my friend.
Great message and value here. Liked the simple stages and clear explanation. My thanks.
thank you tom. means a ton.
Ty this is spot on! God bless you
so glad. thank you.
The love and labor portion...interesting when you fail to see the wayward laboring for the relationship. Hard to accept, but I think it is very telling when they fail to do it.
Laboring for the relationship can be working on oneself, as either betrayed or betrayer. So sometimes the relationship needs that first. But, when you don't see anything happening except more avoiding family life, hanging out with friends, etc. it is probably not taking place at any level.
Great advice. Showing up is hard. We can do hard things.
it is....but we can. thank you so much.
I love all the advice from you and Samantha! If you don't mind me asking, what kind of infedility happened? Was it an addiction or an affair? I am a betrayed spouse, I was cheated on and I am still dealing with so much pain and unanswered questions and these videos have been very informative and reassuring. Thank you for all you do!
I don’t think he is going to answer your question. He has asked for privacy in the matter. I know it took us all by surprise, but sometimes no matter how hard both parties work, it just doesn’t work any more
Yes, yes, yes--and so useful right now.
so glad my friend. always great to hear from you.
We are at the first stage as discovery and disclosure was only just over a week ago. I am the betrayed. It’s a horribly painful time. These stages makes sense as I had to do these as I healed from childhood/young adult trauma and reached the last stage for previous trauma last year. I’m frustrated I now have to redo all of this. But I know how to, at least.
i'm so sorry for what you're going through. what type of help are you using to get through this now? i know it can be devastating but trauma care (by the right people) can help immensely and keep you from staying stuck. i'm honored you'd watch my videos for help.
How are you now ? Did you pass the hard time hopefully?
Thank you for this video. Good to see you, Samuel. We met briefly at the June EMS Weekend. Would love to communicate with you. How?
hi there. great to hear from you. you can email info@hope-now.com and ask them to push to me.
It's been 2yrs since I've been watching your channel. And I've made up my mind to leave the wife after her emotional affair with her co worker..
If you are going to leave, talk to a lawyer before you do anything. Don't hurt yourself financially or where kids/custody are concerned. Different States have different rules on things like abandonment, be aware of all that stuff before you make any moves.
If you are at that point...but first make certain you have done everything you can. In the long run knowing you bent over backward to make it work will give you the most peace of mind.
Wy wife left me for another guy.Said he doesn't love me anymore.....feeling highly suicidal at this moment.
I appreciate this, as an unfaithful. However, can you please do a vlog on controlling or emotionally abusive betrayed spouse? What if the unfaithful is jumping through hoops and is accountable and doing everything therapists have suggested? What if the betrayed was already this way and the unfaithfulness excaberated this behavior?
thank you for the suggestion. i'm sorry it's that way. are you getting any help anywhere? is your spouse open to getting help at all?
Are y’all in therapy? The betrayed could be experiencing PTSD from the betrayal. As a betrayed, I became a person I didn’t recognize in the mirror,
I was violently angry and triggered easily. It has taken lots of hard work and therapy on my part to deal with my anger. I certainly suggest that for you! Having said that, were they angry and violent before? Then that could be another matter differently entirely
@@bigmoma81 this is me! I was sarcastic and insensitive in delivering truth, episodes of stonewalling. I have gotten worse since dealing with an unfaithful spouse! Fighting a war within myself while dealing with the mistrust that lingers constantly! I need help
Everytime I'm around my unfaithful spouse, I'm wondering which of the females is he going to cheat on me with, I get anxious everytime he is on the phone, everytime he leaves the house. I'm constantly eavesdropping, watching his move and when we are apart I'm conjuring thoughts of what he is doing! I am not at a healthy place