I’m in my 50s. The lessons I learned that I wish I had known as a young girl: 1. Nothing, nothing, nothing you can do will make him love you. He will want you or he won’t. 2. Most men are not motivated by love. What they really want is to be envied by other men. 3. You can’t compete with his fantasies. Look at his p0rrn. If he is into a certain kind/race of woman, and you aren’t that kind/race, find someone else. 4. He will know if you are what he wants very quickly. If he isn’t talking marriage in 3 months, he probably never will. 5. If he lies often, it’s because he is hiding who he is or what he is doing when he is not with you. 6. Men are usually like their best friend. If his best friend treats women like toys, chances are you are getting played too. 7. If he won’t talk about your relationship, it’s because you don’t really have one. 8. If he hides your relationship it’s because he is either already in another one or is actively looking for another one. 9. Don’t assume he wants what you want, especially children. 10. If he mistreats you, it’s a reflection of who he is, not who you are.
as a guy, good stuff, though p0rn is damaging trash all the way around and a big part of what supports trafficking in the world. It's hard to grow up not seeing it, but it is horrible. It's like being a peeping tom sitting in a tree looking into a bedroom if you really think about it. Haven't watched it once in quite a few years now and it was a big part of changing who I am overall. I exhibited many of those red flags before and my mind was poisoned by the filth that is the most popular content on the internet that leads everyone that watches it to decay into total degeneracy.
For busy people: 1. Not all men are honest, see actions not words. His actions need to match his words. 2. Many men fear commitment. Don’t wait for change. Look for someone who is on the same page. 3. Respect is crucial. If he disrepects you he is not worth your time. 4. Emotional availability varies. Some men don’t know to show emotions. Seek someone who is more emotionally available to you, because it’s key to deep connection. 5. Action speak lauder than words. Look for consistency. 6. Independence is attractive. Maintain your friendships with your friends and family, enjoy your hobbies. 7. Relationship should bring more joy than pain. If a relationship frustrates you, it might not be healthy.
1. Not all women are honest, see actions not words. 2. Many women are shopping for a "hu$band". Guys, look for someone who is on the same page (financially) so this becomes a non issue. (thank me later) 3. Respect is crucial. If she disrespect you she is not worth your time. 4. Emotional availability varies. That's because men are hardwired (over 6M years) to be exponentially less emotion than women, for survival reasons. To view that as a "problem" is to deny nature... and essentially akin to barking at the moon. 5. Her action speaks louder than words. Look for consistency. 6. Yep, same for both once again! 7. Yep, yep... applies to both.
@@BAsed_AFro Men don't listen to such advices, just like women. When women shop for a 'husband', men only need one woman for some time and not for the rest of his life. When women want to have a family, men don't, they only need a woman for sex and not to lonely. Therefore, they can change women easily. Of coarse, it's just for most men, not for all, same with women.
@@carolebrelo7234 A man is still stronger than a woman. A man can defend himself because some women are bitches, but he should still never hit a woman even if she hits first. Not if he is a gentle man!
I'm at a point where I don't even worry about who leaves anymore. Even friends who don't show up, I just let them be. Whoever is meant to stay, will stay.
I’ve seen so many women leave because he’s not ready for commitment only for him to be married to someone else with a baby on the way a year later. If he won’t commit you aren’t the one.
@@Lyrielonwindthey married someone else because they are ready to be 24/7 with that person. If it was the one that they left behind they were already married to her. When someone wants something does whatever it takes to make it happen and is valid for men and women.
But men will even marry a woman who is not "the one" simply because he wants to settle down or his friends are getting married. Many men will only ever see women as "wife appliances," desiring everything a woman does for him and brings to his reputation without ever seeing her as a best friend and true, equal partner. Emotional intelligence and empathy should be the no 1 in looking for a partner.
Not always about commitment. It is about honesty. God gives us the ability to DISCERN, to catch the read flags. It is when we are NOT LISTENING, not using those God given gifts, warnings/ guidance from the Holy Spirit,,, then yes, He does not force us to listen. But not heeding His Voice, has its consequences. 😢
1. Not all men are honest 2. Who claims his ready for relationship but flirt with other family 3. Respect is crucial 4. Emotional availability varies 5. Action speaks louder than words 6. Independent is attractive 7. You deserve the best
Never invest yourself completely in a man. Always remain independent. As women we usually are the natural care givers and give so much of ourselves in a relationship. Be careful not to over give and not get anything in return. If you have asked your man to take the bin out and every day have to remind him, to do so….Leave the relationship. He does not love or even care about you. Repeatedly asking him to do something basic, that he should just do automatically is exhausting. And NO he did not just forget. You don’t forget what he likes, so why is it ok if he “forgets”. Speaking from experience here…25 years married with 6 beautiful children, married to the wrong man. So much time wasted. Some men see a good women and just want to use her.
It is more that women are EXPECTED to be caregivers rather than it being a natural role for all women. In the United States, women are expected to do a huge amount of unpaid labor, so much that they have more free time after they divorce or break up. I like Lyz Lenz's statement in "This American Ex-Wife": "How did I get my husband to do his share? Court-ordered 50/50 custody." Every woman has stores about how their SO put off doing housework that they promised to do. It gets to be a battle of nerves.
@@litpath3633 absolutely not. If they don't care about doing something so easy, how can you expect to be able to rely on them in real difficult times? It also shows no respect and no regard for the woman, pure selfishness.
This video needs to be heard by all teenage girls! I was married to a man that disapproved of all of my friends. Moved me an hour and a half away from my family. Got a job where he would be away for a month and home for a week. When I got myself established and had some new friends he wanted to buy me a new house 10 hrs away. I stood my grounds & said NO. Anyway, I definitely needed this knowledge when I was younger!
nah, the author is acting like there are actual men who do these things- not true. There may be a needle in a haystack, but the video basically tells women to not take what they can get from men, but instead bear the burden of constantly walking away instead of taking control. Bad advcie.
@@anona2889but walking away sometimes is the only way to take control. We can’t change people other than ourselves. And the fantasy we’ll “turn frogs into princes” will just waste our precious time.
@@tatianabevilacqua406 You can absolutely change ppl's behavior, very very easily. We have evidence of that everywhere and it's also just basic psychology. No one should be spouting this crap.
@@tatianabevilacqua406 no, frogs wont turn into princes. but this guy's advice is waaaay off. Men overall are not going to treat women well, we live in a patriarchy. Telling someone to walk away is naive.
Regarding commitment, I was supposedly engaged but he would never discuss a wedding date. Four years together. Then I met someone else, we were engaged within a week and married shortly after that. Still together 38 years later, and I am now the mother of four young men. Fortunately, they are good men, like their father. I am blessed x
I’ve wasted my youth completly on dishonest men. I’m an older woman now,,, I have lost all hope and all 😮faith in men. I’m just concentrating now, on my animals, preparing for death, ending well,, and my Precious Friendship with my Lord. ❤
It is not over just because you are an older woman. God calls all the shots. He is the one who makes the real connection . Meanwhile, invest your wisdom in helping young women willing to listen to you avoid the pitfalls and errors of youth. Life is such a gift worth living to its fullest.
When women falls continuously falls for men that are not right. She needs to introspect the type of men she is attracted to, or attract, the patterns, all these are many times a telling of how she needs to reflect on her own life choices, behaviour l, habits & even choice of men. Sometimes its not just the men, its your poor ability to choose the right men. Search for a men you 'Need' and not you want.
1. Not all men are honest. Actions speak louder than words. Reliability and honesty is a character trait. 2. Commitment. Says he loves you but avoids talk about the future. If he’s not committed to a shared vision, it might be time to move on. Find a partner whose goals and readiness match yours. 3. Respect. Valuing your opinion, boundaries, thoughts and time. If a man speaks to you rudely, call him out. 4. Emotional availability varies. Look for a partner willing to communicate. Be patient and set boundaries. Support his growth. It is key to deep connection. 5. Actions speak louder than words. Promises and sweet words mean nothing if they aren’t backed by the consistent and caring actions. Fairly to follow through means his promises are empty. A man who loves you will do small actions. 6. Independence is attractive. Spend time with your friends and have your own social circles. Encourage each other to pursue your dreams. Be your own person. 7. Never settle for less. A good man should enhance your life, support and uplift you. Don’t be afraid to walk away from a relationship that doesn’t serve you.
They all seem to be a different iteration of the first rule (rule 1 and 5 are literally the same, and rule 6 & 7 (Be independent, never settle for less, you deserve the very best) are ...what ruined relations in the first place. So only rule here that would not have taken almost 10minutes to cover is : 1.Not everyone is honest. Actions speak louder than words. 2 Do not lash out against the person above you, they have no obligation for favours against someone who opposes them or compete with the hand that feeds.
#7 that is the funniest. I think the chances of finding a unicorn is better. Men can be fathers until they are way in their late-60s, women are not so fortunate. For the women, it takes a lot of effort to just find a man with just some of those characteristics. Look at Prince Charles and Lady Diana, he is a real life prince, finding true love is not easy.
@@ronaldlee3537You over looked this was a arrangement pairing his love was for another woman not Princess Diana she was simply for breeding purposes of heirs to the throne.
My immigrant father from the Ukraine always told us daughter’s never depended on a man…always know how to take care of yourself financially!!…he was soooo right! Love you Tato!🇺🇦🌻❤️
Your Ukrainain Father was right, I am Hungarian and my father teached me the same. Not being independent financially you can be involved in dirty businesses of men or just a man....never allow yourself to fall in love with a liar and who is not stable financially and who is eager to be involved in criminal life. And you must learn that most of the men are not valuable and respectable, they have been lying and lying. I even did translate for 5 years medical topics and the andrology told me the worst about most of the men. I will never understand that is if a Mother has been constantly teaching his son to be more valuable than in the reality and never argue with him and never wants to be hard with his own son. Even the Mothers make a lot of mistake in upraising their son or sons....never forget this. And the Mother ...if she lives in a bad marriage he is not a strong woman. How the hell will you find a nice man if he was raised up in a lying marriage betwee the parents?
And another important one, coming from someone who's had a job seeing the worst side of normal men for the last decade - be kind, but do not trust easily, do not let yourself be manipulated. and even family and family friends can be unsafe to leave your children with.
@@NEbluefire i am sure that taught you valuable lessons about fatherhood, or if you are a woman, about the ideal partner. That made you stronger. Celebrate your mom...for the wonderful job she did raising you as a mom and as a stand in dad in your life.
Whole heartedly agree with the notion about if a man isn’t honest or live with integrity in the other areas of his life, it will certainly translate in other areas.
All true! Don't waste time second guessing yourself. Go with your gut. Trust and value yourself. Don't think your love can change him. If you see unhealthy patterns, know that they are most likely forever and won't change. If his flowery words don't match his actions, run and never look back. I wish I could go back and tell my young hopeless romantic self these words of wisdom. But knowing me, I probably wouldn't have listened...so I'm telling you...listen and learn. Learning these hard lessons by experience is far too painful and will cost decades of your life, investing in toxic men. Rather learn from someone else's mistakes. You're very welcome.
@@Apple2O12 If I had to re-live my life and could impart the wisdom I've attained this far in my older years, I would seek a man with a family who are close knit and that have one anothers back. Thats a good foundation to build upon. A devout man that loves God, lives his life morally & ethically in all matters. One who is faithful to his wife and children. A man who is a team player and sees his wife as an equal. A man who understands he is the strength of his family, providing and protecting those entrusted to him. A man that knows how to be kind and listen to the needs of his family. When a man is of this quality, it is easy to be a reflection of those virtues and be a loving and supportive wife.
#1 - Men Lie. Yes, this deserves to be #1. When I went back into the dating game after being out for a while, I had to relearn this. I think men think it's completely normal and acceptable to lie to the women they pursue.
When I was very young in conversation with a neighbour he said that some guys will lie, steal, cheat, and even kill for a piece of tail, they can get possessive, obsessive, or just can’t handle rejection.women have to be real careful of whom they chose and be aware of their immediate surroundings all the time, some men are opportunistic and will even go to lengths to grab a woman and abduct her.Those were the most disturbing words I had ever heard in my entire life.shocking, but good advice about being wary.Be aware out there the world is a dangerous place. Don’t give yourself over until you are certain this person is right for you, and do ask around about them, even their friends, kids they grew up with, neighbours etc. someone will likely say something or hint if there’s something really off.
Some people say they are happy alone. However, I doubt it. Since I started advocating for people I saw loneliness and depression can kill if you don’t have God.
@tuka24a you can be 'alone' in a marriage/relationship. In my opinion this is worse than being/living alone. Being alone doesn't mean one lacks a good supportive circle of friends, social life, interests, etc. Being alone means you own your own decisions instead of putting up with other people's decisions.
I had a college boyfriend that made me cry. Realized there are a bunch of fish in the sea - so why am I crying ? Got rid of that loser . Dated a man who was real - and never let me down, and married him. I hope that loser found his match or stayed single.
Thank you, growing up without a father defintley has a big impact on how we navigate romantic partnerships. Especially if we have been abused. Sending love to everyone reading this ❤
As a woman , I watch how a man relates to , his mother, his grandparents , his siblings ,his Co workers , this is all very revealing . LOVE THIS . ❤️ 😍
I agree but also make sure if he is not towards a toxic mom that is right too. My grandma, grandpa, father,momma all are stupid to some level. Toxic af, unwise. I just can’t make myself respect them after they made me go through 25 years of hell
Add waiters. I once dated a guy who said he doesn't have to say thank or otherwise be polite to waiters because he's paying them. I should have known something was wrong.
It's interesting that in Africa most men respect and treat their mothers and sisters well and it has nothing to mean he will treat you well. In fact it means they are the most important. You will still be treated like a slave. The more committed a man is to his mom and sisters the less he will be to the wife
I hope douglas that after your self evaluation that if you find you are like anything the video talks about that you go to therapy. Just writing what you did I just want to extend encouragement to you and I hope you find your one and only!
@@t.b.1596 I don't find myself to be like the video. But I think it is healthy to shed the every day denial for a moment and really think. I know we all think we are fine. I feel the same way about the ten commandments. As I review them, thankfully I am grateful that I have avoided getting sideways to these, as much as humanly possible. Since my late wife committed suicide in 2006, I have been celibate and devoting my life to caring for others and not chasing hormones.
I am so sorry for your loss of wife....and as a women I commend you for being faithful to the 10 commandments and not going sideways. God has a plan for your life and it is good...don't give up hope. Jesus love you!
I've never met a man im willing to put up with. Im 60yrs old, i live alone & couldn't be happier 🙃 My entire home is victorian shabby chic. Think more purple & less pink. I love that i get to hog up my king size bed. I love that my house is spotlessly clean all the time. I love just doing only my laundry. Most of all i love that there's always Dr.Pepper in the fridge when i want one. I do have one son in his early 40's. I believe in trying everything at least once except certain foods 🤮 I have an 18yr old grandson & a 2yr old granddaughter ❤ What i love doing more then anything else on earth is read! I read a book 📖 every 24 to 48hrs. I am disabled. Reading takes me away from my pain. I love escaping to another place or time that a good book takes me.If i feel the need to socialize i go out to eat with friends or family 👪 or to a play, etc. I didnt consciously choose my life to turn out the way it has, just that i found the older i get the less im willing to put up with from a man 😈 Sinfully happy in the Sunshine State of Florida 🍹🏖🌞 Best wishes 🙌🙏😇💙
This is true no matter the age of the man also. I just broke up with my BF bc of almost all of the negative things he said men will do in this video and he is 54 yrs old.
You should have dump him for a long time. If I didn't break up with my ex bf, I wouldn't meet my husband a few months later. If you keep being with a wrong man, you send a message to the right man that he should stay away from you. That's how most women got trapped. Better be single than suffering.
No matter how much you read, learn or listen to noth will stop a relationship from falling if it is already doomed. The problem is that people change and what is said in the vid is applied for both men and women. I believe it is just luck. Some people get to meet good soulmates who share the same values and vision unil they die. Others might meet them but they change over time or external factors impose themselves on them be it family, illnesses, jobs etc. What is important is to be honest with your own self, know your boundaries and values, and respect yourself and every human being. Continue to grow with or without people. By the end you will have a fulfilling life, good memories, no resentment, guilt or regrets!
When do we get videos teaching men to stop being narcissists instead of teaching women to detect narcissism? Putting the accountability on women yet again.
I was married and fully devoted to my ex narcissist husband for 20 years. He gave me silent torture not a spoken word. Did not lift a finger in the home or when we had our children. Thank God I was discarded. He ran away with another woman. God stepped in and gave me male strength. I worked hard and raised our children alone. Life can have their men and their marriages. I’m fully independent and I love and nurture me and my family that love me back. I have an amazing passion too🏊🏻♀️🏊🏻♀️ that keeps me fit and healthy. I would never risk myself to another man I’m too precious for any man.
Another thing i got taught from my father A man who truly loves you will do anything to protect you even from himself He will always fear hurting you in any kind of way and will do his best to make you feel safe I think this counts as a great advice !
One important thing i learnt was men really need time alone. They love their space .Some women crowd them and it causes conflict. If you leave him be a while ( and have your own life too) he will love you more than ever.
Be wary of anyone who wants things to move FAST and is trying to be emotionally or physically intimate In A HURRY. Time is your friend and being friends first is even better.
As another viewer commented, I wish I had known all this, years ago. This info should be taught in high school to females. There should, also, be a separate class for males about females. (This info could help so many young people and they wouldn't make as many mistakes as we have all these years. Knowledge is power! Grateful I found this video.
High school is too late. Young girls need to build self esteem from a very young age. Parents, teachers, babysitters, all have to treat children (of any sex) with respect and kindness.
I agree, kids should be taught proper manners, boundaries, sensitivity training, and mostly how to control their emotions. And when they act out they should be taught that there are consequences for such actions. Not necessarily by punishment, but by merely explaining how others may react, such as they may lose a friend or if they offended someone bad enough they could be physically assaulted etc. teach them when they are very young kindergarten 1st grade and constantly up till grad years.
It a woman's responsibility to love herself enough to invest in herself above all other's. He's just a man, not God. Wait on The Most High while you work on being the best person you can be. You attract what you are.
When they said hold the fort down, they clearly didn't mean that was addressed to man. I honestly don't care if all the internet... Lmao, male population hates me. Don't come for my dad either. I hate him as well. But somexs the douchiest dudes try to paint themselves as saints, & even those dude make that dead beat.. look like a hero. So thx Dad... Bc when sh hits the fan, don't cry. Wever u do, just don't cry.. now I want to go around calling dudes buttercup. & My dad didn't call me butter cup .. he called me cuss words & sh. And just to top it off 🙋🏻♀️ yes, it's true. A female as actually Never alone... No matter what u think. I mean, I choose to be alone. But I can't get unalone real quick. U know bc that requires talent & skill apparently 🙄.. And don't try too hard w/ my language either bc I Obviously wasn't, drrr
If we attract what we are then we would all be gay! If you believe in God then you must also believe in the enemy of our souls as well. Men who abuse, lie and waste women's time are sent to steal kill and destroy. That's the truth of the matter!
That's not always the case. Don't generalize when you don't have the facts. A man that comes from a "good" family does not necessarily mean he will automatically treat you right. The opposite is also true. Expand your thinking, it helps.
My "mother" was extremely abusive. While I'm a girl, does that make me someone to run away from...??? Yeah maybe I should have gone back to my "parents" after they sold me and had me trafficked so they could have killed me off, because they wanted me out the way one way or another to get the entire inheritance for themselves! But yeah I'm the bad one for not having a normal relationship with them... victim blamers like you make me sick!!!
🌸 4:39 no communication. If someone refuses to talk when there is misunderstanding and they are angry Don’t waste your time with them. Communication is the key 🔑 Don’t waste time on arrogant sods like that, just move on and you will meet your true soulmate ❤
thank you for playing the role of teaching me about these valuable advices. im still healing from my first heartbreak that happened 6 months ago, i loved him for four years but he ended it in four months like it was nothing. i did everything in my power to make this relationship work, but i couldn't move a couch without my partner's help, he was my first love but him disrespecting my boundaries was my last streak.
So sorry to hear that! Take time to grief this relationship that ended in such a sad way. You've done the right thing, he sounds awful. When a man doesn't respect your boundaries it only gets worse.
Truth is... This is for us all, for everyone human in this world, male/female, young/old, parents, grandparents, etc... These are very important needed facts in every relationship.
I had a dad, but I wish he would've been a good dad and told me that you told me. Tank you very much I appreciate what you have in your video. If you have a daughter or daughters they're blessed to have a good dad like you.May God bless you for being such a good father.😊
Dad here, I enjoy explaining this world to my boys. They let me go into as much detail as I want, asks questions, ect. From the cosmos to how people are. I'm pretty cynical but I can't explain it that way to them, obviously. I think that helps me sometimes.
You are a really great dad. Kudos for having these conversations with your sons. They will serve them well and help them recognize when they are dealing with an emotionally unhealthy relationship.
This content was thorough and made me know for sure why I ended my last relationship. When there are fundamental differences in a relationship, please walk away from that relationship. Do not stay hoping that it will work out. Give them the gift of your absence. FOREVER. AWESOME CONTENT
wish i had read this before i spent 5 mos. dating the wrong man. it took me that long to see his dishonesty and lack of respect. better to be dateless, and just value friends and family.
People always show us who they are from the very start. Our biais avoid us to see. But actions always speak louder than word. Do nothing and see what he is going to do . If he calls you , if he helps you , if he wants to see you etc… as women we are trained to accept more than we should and we chase without knowing. Di nothing and observe. Also the energy never lies. When a guy is motivated or not
😮 I have to say this in 2024. Ladies, women & girls. Stop giving your❤ & bodies to dishonest men. A man will show how he feels by his actions. Stop falling 4 words. Self control your emotions.
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.porassss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
My advice would be, if there are red flags, get out of the relationship quickly. Don't do it like me, who waited 30 years of marriage for him to change, and that never occurred. After the separation, always forgive and forget no matter what the offense. You don't want to be carrying a baggage of hatred or animosity towards your ex. It's toxic for you, not him. That's it for now... I'm still at the beginning of my new chapter... God has been my help in every step. In Him, I can totally trust! Beautiful drawings, btw and great advice!!!
I find #6 to trigger most young men. Like, they are very insecure and even if they parrot "independence is attractive" and wanting to support goals etc, their behavior doesn't match up, especially when it concerns finances. But marriage takes an independent dependency to work.
extremely well said..thank you for saying what all women and girls need to memorize because the grief of choosing the wrong partner is devastating for everyone but especially if there are children
This brings me to tears, because I'm 53 and my Dad was left to die when me and my twin were a year old and an older sister. We have suffered greatly in marriages and relationships with men due to lack of wisdom in our household growing up, and environment. And my brother has suffered from a lack of wise men to guide him which has caused him greater misfortune. I want to thank you from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet and pray to the God of Israel and Judah to bless and favor you for helping not just me, but I'm sure many others. And I will pass this information along to the women of all ages that I am in contact with. ❤ THANK YOU...
Efforts,respect,trust ,honesty nd constant communication really matters when it comes relationship ,when you dont see these ,you need to think more nd dont settle with the person who doesn't show the same vision f you ,beaing real nd transparent with a word of honor makes you a person to be trusted
Then people try to find someone who "shares their vision for the future and are ready to commit? - and that is often an incompatible person. This spells "settling." Readiness to settle down and commitment is hardly a good enough foundation for a long-term relationship. People must be compatible on many layers. If they are not, they will discover later. Then commitment will turn to prison.
I mean, someone doesn't need to completely share all visions for the future and be completely the same in commitment - your core visions and ideas on the matter just need to be compatible. If you get to the core of what you want you might find that there is a way that works for both parties - or not, and you're incompatible. That's what I learnt over the years. You need good communication, and neither try to bend yourself for someone, nor take disagreements as an attack or end of the world.
@@toni2309 Beneath all those consciously chosen values, interests and commitments is our unconscious wiring: our ilk, or nature. That;s the part that must match FIRST. Birds of a feather might still be perfectly symbiotic even when they disagree on values and ideas.
Name calling when negative is a form of abuse, if it keeps up you will be emotionally hurt in the long run, sever your ties, he is likely hanging around because he wants something, it could be he needs someone to put down to make him feel better about himself, or that you do stuff for him. Anyway it’s a want want want for him, don’t even stick around to find out exactly what it is, cut your ties, he’s the one who is childish.
Thank you so much for sharing these lessons. I am 24 years old here but I have already learned your first and tenth lessons through experiencing them. Sadly, I was blaming myself all the time, thinking I was the one causing him to mistreat me. But as you said, it’s his character and not about me. I did everything to make him love me but he has never fell in love with me. It was like the more I fought for him, the more he put distance between us. 😢 4th lesson saddens me the most by the way… 😭 I saved your comment to save myself from experiencing the other lessons you mentioned that I haven’t been through. Many thanks again. 😇🙏🏻
This is great advice, thank you. ❤ The man I was in a relationship with most recently was a fellow I had to walk away from, since many of the 7 truths were true of him! What's said in the video is correct, "Actions speak louder than words." In the relationship, over and over again, the two didn't match up!
I had to do the same. He wasn't even a boyfriend or husband because he was worried I might find out that he was lying about everything. I found out anyway. Lying he did - he claimed he had pets he didn't have, he claimed he was of a nationality that he wasn't (found that out quickly because he didn't speak the language of that country but I do!) - it was pathetic. His ex had also run away - and he went berserk...
Thank God I had a father that taught me this, however it was up to me to listen and put what I was told into action. That’s the part that matters most. Love you dad❤
I LOVE this British man.. This is appropriate for Father's Day 🎉 thank goodness I am not in a situation where my time is going. So far, the only love I have ever had was from my Father. A short time but at least I had it.
No.7 -‘if a relationship brings you more pain than joy, it’s not the right relationship for you.’ This allows for way too much pain! I used to believe something like this, and found myself frequently miserable! A healthy relationship should feel quite easy. If you’re in pain more than 5% of the time in this relationship, it’s the wrong relationship. And if you *are* having difficulties, you should feel comfortable discussing it with your partner ❤
Best advice when first meeting a man go with your gut feeling, if it does not feel right it probably is not right. We form a opinion of a person with in seconds of meeting someone, no matter what they look like or talk a good talk if it feels off then it is.
True! Cuz I have found a man who values, respects, honor, supports me through out our married life that when he's gone I felt that my world crumbles but he taught me to be strong in heart and mind to stand on my own when the time that he would be gone and he's not on my side anymore, that's the reason I could not forget him although it has been almost 10 years of him as a deceased love of my life!
Thank you so much for this video. This is a great reminder and super helpfull to hear from a man who truly cares and stand up for women by sharing this.❤ this really gives me hope, what you share and send is needed!
This video should be called “7 Harsh Truths About People” because the advice is equally important for sons. It’s relationship advice that applies to both sexes.
It’s his video and he named it correctly. The focus was on men , period. Does it apply to both? Yes . But that wasn’t the point or direction that they wanted to discuss.
If a woman is a stay at home woman taking care of all of the finances and making sure everything that has to be done gets done, then she too deserves "Respect". !!!!!
Not always easy to see bad signs. My late husband was good to his mother and sister, came from a good family and was doing well at work. We dated for 5 yrs before marriage. I never saw the signs that a) he didn't want a home life and refused to buy a house b) said he wanted children but when our son arrived he got jealous and never paid him any attention c) was a perennial teenager - out with his friends, playing sport and drinking and hardly ever home d) ducked out of responsibility and left me carrying the can. Everyone thought he was sweet and kind but he was never there for his own family, us
@@Andrianabk-v7q thx so much! A bit late for me now though - I'll be 75 next month and suffer from the effects of too much stress, worry and overwork. The real tragedy is that I struggled for 46 years and at least my son turned out well but I sacrificed my life; other people blamed me because my husband seemed so sweet and laid back - I found out he was telling people I was too pushy and uptight, not realising I was having to carry all the responsibilities without any support. I do hope your mom is still young enough to have a life
Not true. Being with him for 5 years before marriage, you saw all that, like him loving spending time with his friends, playing sport and drinking, but you ignored it because you wanted him, not a different guy. I'm sure you knew a guy who was unlike him, but you didn't care about him. A guy can say he wants children to women who want children, so they would choose him or wouldn't leave him.
@@wicker1234 we didn't live together before we married, he lived with his folks and was rebuilding s vintage car. We did everything together, had friends in common; there was fun around his folks' dinner table. He always talked about having a family and there was no clue that he would prove to be different when actually married. It was only then that he showed that he didn't want responsibilty but thought he could carry on having fun like a single man. Strangely, his adopted sister also turned out like that - 3 marriages and abandoned kids that her folks had to bring up. These things don't always show up beforehand. And incidentally, it was he who nagged me to have kids, I was a career girl in those days
@@jpatpat9360 I could be wrong, but many women believe they can change a man in a marriage. Such women want to see only the good qualities in a man and are trying to stay positive about the relationship.
1. Actions reveal the truth. 2. Consistency and commitment. 3. Respect. 4. Communication is crucial. Can come in different forms. 5 = 1 (look for consistency and reliability) + remembering little things 6. Don't lose yourself in a relationship. 7. Never settle for less than you deserve. You deserve the best! A good partner supports and uplifts you.
Here's the lesson I learned from my experience : - Don't let yourself be completely emotional in a relationship, and don't choose a partner only based on emotions or momentum ... In other words love is not the first requirement, choose your partner with your brain along side your heart.
I'm a bisexual woman. I've dated both men and women. I can comfortably say, this video applies to both, easily. I've dated women who lied, made me feel uncomfortable and small, one even hit me. I've dated men who made it clear all they cared about was sex, they just wanted a low commitment fling. Many of these traits apply to women too, and for any men that come across this video, please be aware of that. Women are taught that they need to guard themselves from harmful men, and there isn't enough discussion regarding men guarding themselves from harmful women. In the end, the one that made me happiest, that's been honest, committed and respectful, was a man, so I find labelling this video as man-specific traits to be untruthful. It can be both. Be aware and don't let love cloud yourself from the truth. Stay safe, friends.
I’m in my 50s. The lessons I learned that I wish I had known as a young girl:
1. Nothing, nothing, nothing you can do will make him love you. He will want you or he won’t.
2. Most men are not motivated by love. What they really want is to be envied by other men.
3. You can’t compete with his fantasies. Look at his p0rrn. If he is into a certain kind/race of woman, and you aren’t that kind/race, find someone else.
4. He will know if you are what he wants very quickly. If he isn’t talking marriage in 3 months, he probably never will.
5. If he lies often, it’s because he is hiding who he is or what he is doing when he is not with you.
6. Men are usually like their best friend. If his best friend treats women like toys, chances are you are getting played too.
7. If he won’t talk about your relationship, it’s because you don’t really have one.
8. If he hides your relationship it’s because he is either already in another one or is actively looking for another one.
9. Don’t assume he wants what you want, especially children.
10. If he mistreats you, it’s a reflection of who he is, not who you are.
If he's looking at porn of any type.... move on
I'm 61 yr old woman and I agree
BAM! SummaGirl nailed it!
as a guy, good stuff, though p0rn is damaging trash all the way around and a big part of what supports trafficking in the world. It's hard to grow up not seeing it, but it is horrible. It's like being a peeping tom sitting in a tree looking into a bedroom if you really think about it. Haven't watched it once in quite a few years now and it was a big part of changing who I am overall. I exhibited many of those red flags before and my mind was poisoned by the filth that is the most popular content on the internet that leads everyone that watches it to decay into total degeneracy.
I am over 60 and I agree.
For busy people:
1. Not all men are honest, see actions not words. His actions need to match his words.
2. Many men fear commitment. Don’t wait for change. Look for someone who is on the same page.
3. Respect is crucial. If he disrepects you he is not worth your time.
4. Emotional availability varies. Some men don’t know to show emotions. Seek someone who is more emotionally available to you, because it’s key to deep connection.
5. Action speak lauder than words. Look for consistency.
6. Independence is attractive. Maintain your friendships with your friends and family, enjoy your hobbies.
7. Relationship should bring more joy than pain. If a relationship frustrates you, it might not be healthy.
1. Not all women are honest, see actions not words.
2. Many women are shopping for a "hu$band". Guys, look for someone who is on the same page (financially) so this becomes a non issue. (thank me later)
3. Respect is crucial. If she disrespect you she is not worth your time.
4. Emotional availability varies. That's because men are hardwired (over 6M years) to be exponentially less emotion than women, for survival reasons. To view that as a "problem" is to deny nature... and essentially akin to barking at the moon.
5. Her action speaks louder than words. Look for consistency.
6. Yep, same for both once again!
7. Yep, yep... applies to both.
@@BAsed_AFro this is not about women
@@iaf4454 "Hypocrisy is the audacity to preach integrity from a den of corruption.” - Wes Fesler
@@BAsed_AFro Men don't listen to such advices, just like women. When women shop for a 'husband', men only need one woman for some time and not for the rest of his life. When women want to have a family, men don't, they only need a woman for sex and not to lonely. Therefore, they can change women easily. Of coarse, it's just for most men, not for all, same with women.
Tysm
You forgot to mention “If a man truly loves you, he will not hit you or abuse you physically.”
Good point
That's true, but even if the man doesn't truly love you, a man should never hit a woman except in self defense.
@@carolebrelo7234 A man is still stronger than a woman. A man can defend himself because some women are bitches, but he should still never hit a woman even if she hits first. Not if he is a gentle man!
Yea, my dad does that. But it is how it is.
@@carolebrelo7234 THIS
I'm at a point where I don't even worry about who leaves anymore. Even friends who don't show up, I just let them be. Whoever is meant to stay, will stay.
That's a good mindset u won't regret it bcz u won't be hurt and that's the right way to deal with this type of people I do it too it feels good
Realest comment out there.
harsh reality
That's the truth, including relatives,
Anyway, who wants trouble making , haters near.
Show em all your elbows.
@@realtalkwithLeila people who are not genuine are not worth having.
I’ve seen so many women leave because he’s not ready for commitment only for him to be married to someone else with a baby on the way a year later. If he won’t commit you aren’t the one.
I think they marry someone else as a form of "punishment" to the one who got away and dodged the bullet.
@@Lyrielonwindwell then the first one really made the right decision in leaving. As you said, they dodged the bullet.
@@Lyrielonwindthey married someone else because they are ready to be 24/7 with that person. If it was the one that they left behind they were already married to her.
When someone wants something does whatever it takes to make it happen and is valid for men and women.
But men will even marry a woman who is not "the one" simply because he wants to settle down or his friends are getting married. Many men will only ever see women as "wife appliances," desiring everything a woman does for him and brings to his reputation without ever seeing her as a best friend and true, equal partner. Emotional intelligence and empathy should be the no 1 in looking for a partner.
Not always about commitment. It is about honesty. God gives us the ability to DISCERN, to catch the read flags. It is when we are NOT LISTENING, not using those God given gifts, warnings/ guidance from the Holy Spirit,,, then yes, He does not force us to listen. But not heeding His Voice, has its consequences. 😢
1. Not all men are honest
2. Who claims his ready for relationship but flirt with other family
3. Respect is crucial
4. Emotional availability varies
5. Action speaks louder than words
6. Independent is attractive
7. You deserve the best
#2. * women, not family
Thank you
Last one is impossible. How can 'every' woman on earth can get 'the best'? Are all women 'the best' for men?
@@mayank64723the best for you. Chill
Last should be reworded: Your happiness and well-being matter. @@mayank64723
I wish someone told me this when I was 12. And reminded me at 17. Would have saved me a lifetime of man-hell.
Sometimes, it doesnt help knowing things cognitively.. sometimes we have to experience it emotionally
Me too..!
Everybody is entitled to live their own mistakes😊
Teenagers don't listen to adults about these things. You would have rolled your eyes and called them stupid.
There must be many bad "PEOPLE" out there, because a lot of men got hurt by women.
Never invest yourself completely in a man. Always remain independent. As women we usually are the natural care givers and give so much of ourselves in a relationship. Be careful not to over give and not get anything in return.
If you have asked your man to take the bin out and every day have to remind him, to do so….Leave the relationship. He does not love or even care about you. Repeatedly asking him to do something basic, that he should just do automatically is exhausting. And NO he did not just forget. You don’t forget what he likes, so why is it ok if he “forgets”.
Speaking from experience here…25 years married with 6 beautiful children, married to the wrong man. So much time wasted. Some men see a good women and just want to use her.
It is more that women are EXPECTED to be caregivers rather than it being a natural role for all women. In the United States, women are expected to do a huge amount of unpaid labor, so much that they have more free time after they divorce or break up. I like Lyz Lenz's statement in "This American Ex-Wife": "How did I get my husband to do his share? Court-ordered 50/50 custody." Every woman has stores about how their SO put off doing housework that they promised to do. It gets to be a battle of nerves.
Sorry same here
bit severe for the trash
Wow, six kids! God bless you, dear.
@@litpath3633 absolutely not. If they don't care about doing something so easy, how can you expect to be able to rely on them in real difficult times? It also shows no respect and no regard for the woman, pure selfishness.
This video needs to be heard by all teenage girls!
I was married to a man that disapproved of all of my friends. Moved me an hour and a half away from my family. Got a job where he would be away for a month and home for a week. When I got myself established and had some new friends he wanted to buy me a new house 10 hrs away. I stood my grounds & said NO.
Anyway, I definitely needed this knowledge when I was younger!
nah, the author is acting like there are actual men who do these things- not true. There may be a needle in a haystack, but the video basically tells women to not take what they can get from men, but instead bear the burden of constantly walking away instead of taking control. Bad advcie.
@@anona2889but walking away sometimes is the only way to take control. We can’t change people other than ourselves. And the fantasy we’ll “turn frogs into princes” will just waste our precious time.
@@tatianabevilacqua406 You can absolutely change ppl's behavior, very very easily. We have evidence of that everywhere and it's also just basic psychology. No one should be spouting this crap.
@@tatianabevilacqua406 no, frogs wont turn into princes. but this guy's advice is waaaay off. Men overall are not going to treat women well, we live in a patriarchy. Telling someone to walk away is naive.
@@anona2889 so what do you think they should do instead?
Regarding commitment, I was supposedly engaged but he would never discuss a wedding date. Four years together. Then I met someone else, we were engaged within a week and married shortly after that. Still together 38 years later, and I am now the mother of four young men. Fortunately, they are good men, like their father. I am blessed x
That's a lovely story , luv it,
@@lindal3966 you had a lucky escape to a happy marriage.
I’ve wasted my youth completly on dishonest men.
I’m an older woman now,,, I have lost all hope and all 😮faith in men. I’m just concentrating now, on my animals, preparing for death, ending well,, and my
Precious Friendship with my Lord. ❤
Didn't you know you can ask the Lord to choose men for you? I've seen some testimonies but I forgot their names.
i did ask. many times, many ways. he sed no, and i figure it was a romans 8:28 issue@@davidarvingumazon5024
It is not over just because you are an older woman. God calls all the shots. He is the one who makes the real connection .
Meanwhile, invest your wisdom in helping young women willing to listen to you avoid the pitfalls and errors of youth.
Life is such a gift worth living to its fullest.
When women falls continuously falls for men that are not right. She needs to introspect the type of men she is attracted to, or attract, the patterns, all these are many times a telling of how she needs to reflect on her own life choices, behaviour l, habits & even choice of men. Sometimes its not just the men, its your poor ability to choose the right men. Search for a men you 'Need' and not you want.
❤ Adopt a child.Foster children. In the future does his action match his words. Do not sleep men if u want marriage.
Never had a real Father to tell me these things. Wish I didn’t have to learn them, would’ve saved me a lifetime of grief.
Ditto. You’re not alone. Some of us have had to be their own parents.
Same...no father... thank you for sharing your comment. Feeling less alone now 💜
Don't break your head over this. Most fathers don't have this level of awareness. But they can be a shoulder to lie on *if* they are trustworthy.
Same.
Exactly
😮❤ ladies,women & girls. If a man confuses u while dating or delays. U r not the 1 & not a priority. U r an option.
Why should a Woman be a PRIORITY in a Man's life? NARCISSIST!!! 😂😂😂
Why the hell do you think you are?
Agree 100%
Well said. 👍
Right!!!! Don't make them your priority...when ur only thier OPTION...
Noted
1. Not all men are honest. Actions speak louder than words. Reliability and honesty is a character trait.
2. Commitment. Says he loves you but avoids talk about the future. If he’s not committed to a shared vision, it might be time to move on. Find a partner whose goals and readiness match yours.
3. Respect. Valuing your opinion, boundaries, thoughts and time. If a man speaks to you rudely, call him out.
4. Emotional availability varies. Look for a partner willing to communicate. Be patient and set boundaries. Support his growth. It is key to deep connection.
5. Actions speak louder than words. Promises and sweet words mean nothing if they aren’t backed by the consistent and caring actions. Fairly to follow through means his promises are empty. A man who loves you will do small actions.
6. Independence is attractive. Spend time with your friends and have your own social circles. Encourage each other to pursue your dreams. Be your own person.
7. Never settle for less. A good man should enhance your life, support and uplift you. Don’t be afraid to walk away from a relationship that doesn’t serve you.
Respect is really very important. That and honesty.
The last one is good but we are talking to women so a be realistic should be in there.
They all seem to be a different iteration of the first rule (rule 1 and 5 are literally the same, and rule 6 & 7 (Be independent, never settle for less, you deserve the very best) are ...what ruined relations in the first place.
So only rule here that would not have taken almost 10minutes to cover is : 1.Not everyone is honest. Actions speak louder than words. 2 Do not lash out against the person above you, they have no obligation for favours against someone who opposes them or compete with the hand that feeds.
#7 that is the funniest. I think the chances of finding a unicorn is better. Men can be fathers until they are way in their late-60s, women are not so fortunate. For the women, it takes a lot of effort to just find a man with just some of those characteristics. Look at Prince Charles and Lady Diana, he is a real life prince, finding true love is not easy.
@@ronaldlee3537You over looked this was a arrangement pairing his love was for another woman not Princess Diana she was simply for breeding purposes of heirs to the throne.
My immigrant father from the Ukraine always told us daughter’s never depended on a man…always know how to take care of yourself financially!!…he was soooo right! Love you Tato!🇺🇦🌻❤️
My mama, I'm Italian, show me the same. Be economical independent is the way to freedom & happiness
It is just “Ukraine”😊!…It is an independent state!…
Not all men are the same
My immigrant father from Norway always told us boys never settle with a woman that looks at you for their financial freedom (or sugar daddy).
Your Ukrainain Father was right, I am Hungarian and my father teached me the same. Not being independent financially you can be involved in dirty businesses of men or just a man....never allow yourself to fall in love with a liar and who is not stable financially and who is eager to be involved in criminal life. And you must learn that most of the men are not valuable and respectable, they have been lying and lying. I even did translate for 5 years medical topics and the andrology told me the worst about most of the men. I will never understand that is if a Mother has been constantly teaching his son to be more valuable than in the reality and never argue with him and never wants to be hard with his own son. Even the Mothers make a lot of mistake in upraising their son or sons....never forget this. And the Mother ...if she lives in a bad marriage he is not a strong woman. How the hell will you find a nice man if he was raised up in a lying marriage betwee the parents?
And another important one, coming from someone who's had a job seeing the worst side of normal men for the last decade - be kind, but do not trust easily, do not let yourself be manipulated. and even family and family friends can be unsafe to leave your children with.
My father passed away 11 years ago, now I'm 30. Seeing this on father's day.
My dad too passed away 20 years back. Remembering him this Fathers Day.
I am remembering my dad on this Father's Day as well. He passed away 38 years ago.
@@NEbluefire i am sure that taught you valuable lessons about fatherhood, or if you are a woman, about the ideal partner. That made you stronger. Celebrate your mom...for the wonderful job she did raising you as a mom and as a stand in dad in your life.
Mines Dec 22, 2023...
God bless & hang in there 💜
My father wasn't there for me. I learned that I couldn't trust him. Nor could I trust my husband. I got a divorce in 1975.
Whole heartedly agree with the notion about if a man isn’t honest or live with integrity in the other areas of his life, it will certainly translate in other areas.
Really????????? Then why do b*tches chase Bad Boys?
All true! Don't waste time second guessing yourself. Go with your gut. Trust and value yourself. Don't think your love can change him. If you see unhealthy patterns, know that they are most likely forever and won't change. If his flowery words don't match his actions, run and never look back.
I wish I could go back and tell my young hopeless romantic self these words of wisdom. But knowing me, I probably wouldn't have listened...so I'm telling you...listen and learn. Learning these hard lessons by experience is far too painful and will cost decades of your life, investing in toxic men. Rather learn from someone else's mistakes. You're very welcome.
What to seek in a man when marrying?
@@Apple2O12 If I had to re-live my life and could impart the wisdom I've attained this far in my older years, I would seek a man with a family who are close knit and that have one anothers back. Thats a good foundation to build upon. A devout man that loves God, lives his life morally & ethically in all matters. One who is faithful to his wife and children. A man who is a team player and sees his wife as an equal. A man who understands he is the strength of his family, providing and protecting those entrusted to him. A man that knows how to be kind and listen to the needs of his family. When a man is of this quality, it is easy to be a reflection of those virtues and be a loving and supportive wife.
#1 - Men Lie. Yes, this deserves to be #1. When I went back into the dating game after being out for a while, I had to relearn this. I think men think it's completely normal and acceptable to lie to the women they pursue.
When I was very young in conversation with a neighbour he said that some guys will lie, steal, cheat, and even kill for a piece of tail, they can get possessive, obsessive, or just can’t handle rejection.women have to be real careful of whom they chose and be aware of their immediate surroundings all the time, some men are opportunistic and will even go to lengths to grab a woman and abduct her.Those were the most disturbing words I had ever heard in my entire life.shocking, but good advice about being wary.Be aware out there the world is a dangerous place. Don’t give yourself over until you are certain this person is right for you, and do ask around about them, even their friends, kids they grew up with, neighbours etc. someone will likely say something or hint if there’s something really off.
I agree, but women are not known for their honesty either.
@@Auggies1956😞
Men tell more dangerous lies. Like I just want to use your restroom and then they try to rkelly you.
@@TheRiverkayaker well, that is true.
I never met a man I could trust. I have always been single and independent. I own my own home and acquired a pension. I am good!
you are my idle
Me too!
Some people say they are happy alone. However, I doubt it. Since I started advocating for people I saw loneliness and depression can kill if you don’t have God.
@@tuka24a Amen!!
@tuka24a you can be 'alone' in a marriage/relationship. In my opinion this is worse than being/living alone. Being alone doesn't mean one lacks a good supportive circle of friends, social life, interests, etc. Being alone means you own your own decisions instead of putting up with other people's decisions.
I had a college boyfriend that made me cry. Realized there are a bunch of fish in the sea - so why am I crying ? Got rid of that loser . Dated a man who was real - and never let me down, and married him. I hope that loser found his match or stayed single.
I wish I would have had that wisdom. I often wonder how my life would be if I'd done the smart thing!
Good for you!
Years ago I came across a saying that said that no boy is worth crying over. And the one who is, won't make you cry.
Now thats what I call Queen shit💅!
Thank you, growing up without a father defintley has a big impact on how we navigate romantic partnerships. Especially if we have been abused. Sending love to everyone reading this ❤
❤
❤❤❤
❤😢
I got this information from my dear mother and grandmother. Very savvy women who saw men for what they are.
As a woman , I watch how a man relates to , his mother, his grandparents , his siblings ,his Co workers , this is all very revealing . LOVE THIS . ❤️ 😍
I agree but also make sure if he is not towards a toxic mom that is right too. My grandma, grandpa, father,momma all are stupid to some level. Toxic af, unwise. I just can’t make myself respect them after they made me go through 25 years of hell
Add waiters. I once dated a guy who said he doesn't have to say thank or otherwise be polite to waiters because he's paying them. I should have known something was wrong.
@@NotebookMapofLemon Exactly.
Some came from extremely abusive paren(s) that never learned the error of their ways.
@@Okeezy-v7g on point, that's how they will be with you once the initial hormones start to lower back down to normal
It's interesting that in Africa most men respect and treat their mothers and sisters well and it has nothing to mean he will treat you well. In fact it means they are the most important. You will still be treated like a slave. The more committed a man is to his mom and sisters the less he will be to the wife
As a man, I found this interesting because it gave me a basis for self evaluation.
I hope douglas that after your self evaluation that if you find you are like anything the video talks about that you go to therapy. Just writing what you did I just want to extend encouragement to you and I hope you find your one and only!
@@t.b.1596 I don't find myself to be like the video. But I think it is healthy to shed the every day denial for a moment and really think. I know we all think we are fine. I feel the same way about the ten commandments. As I review them, thankfully I am grateful that I have avoided getting sideways to these, as much as humanly possible. Since my late wife committed suicide in 2006, I have been celibate and devoting my life to caring for others and not chasing hormones.
I am so sorry for your loss of wife....and as a women I commend you for being faithful to the 10 commandments and not going sideways. God has a plan for your life and it is good...don't give up hope. Jesus love you!
@@t.b.1596 Thank you. I really appreciate you heard me.
I pray all will be well with your heart and peace rules in your life. It is my pleasure to respond to you and share some kindness.
If he tells you you're too good for him, believe it. He's telling you that you deserve to be treated better than he'll treat you.
Facts
If you're not loved growing up, you will always chase that and sell yourself short sadly. And that is unisex.
Very true sweetheart 😢
Truth.
I agree
They should talk about the differences between independence, interdependence and codependency.
They should talk about relationships with men who have ADHD.
I've never met a man im willing to put up with. Im 60yrs old, i live alone & couldn't be happier 🙃 My entire home is victorian shabby chic. Think more purple & less pink. I love that i get to hog up my king size bed. I love that my house is spotlessly clean all the time. I love just doing only my laundry. Most of all i love that there's always Dr.Pepper in the fridge when i want one. I do have one son in his early 40's. I believe in trying everything at least once except certain foods 🤮 I have an 18yr old grandson & a 2yr old granddaughter ❤ What i love doing more then anything else on earth is read! I read a book 📖 every 24 to 48hrs. I am disabled. Reading takes me away from my pain. I love escaping to another place or time that a good book takes me.If i feel the need to socialize i go out to eat with friends or family 👪 or to a play, etc. I didnt consciously choose my life to turn out the way it has, just that i found the older i get the less im willing to put up with from a man 😈 Sinfully happy in the Sunshine State of Florida 🍹🏖🌞 Best wishes 🙌🙏😇💙
WOMAN, I Soooooooooo E. N
V.Y. Y.O.U.💪💪💪💪
loved reading your story, ma'am. that purple house seems quite inticing, enjoy your dr pepper in florida 💝
Sadly this is exactly true, amazing comments.
Invest in yourself. 😮
Nice
This is true no matter the age of the man also. I just broke up with my BF bc of almost all of the negative things he said men will do in this video and he is 54 yrs old.
😢
You should have dump him for a long time. If I didn't break up with my ex bf, I wouldn't meet my husband a few months later. If you keep being with a wrong man, you send a message to the right man that he should stay away from you. That's how most women got trapped. Better be single than suffering.
@@bobbagshawedeorlinc4884feeling guilty
Well, my ex was 43... I left him
Yes, being older is not any indication of emotional maturity!
I learned that my partner is Not my father nor my happiness. Always do you. You do not need others to make you happy.
I need others to a certain extent. I am a human being, not an island. ❤😢
@@aprilbarter I am in my own galaxy and happy .
@@23kppadilla There is no such thing as "others make you happy".
Happiness can only ever possibly come from within.
@@23kppadilla Too many equate "he/she makes me happy" with when they serve to prop up your delusions of superiority and infallibility.
No you need love for being happy, never lie to yourself. Happiness is coming with love and marriage not being alone, that is an UNFAIRY TALE.
No matter how much you read, learn or listen to noth will stop a relationship from falling if it is already doomed. The problem is that people change and what is said in the vid is applied for both men and women. I believe it is just luck. Some people get to meet good soulmates who share the same values and vision unil they die. Others might meet them but they change over time or external factors impose themselves on them be it family, illnesses, jobs etc. What is important is to be honest with your own self, know your boundaries and values, and respect yourself and every human being. Continue to grow with or without people. By the end you will have a fulfilling life, good memories, no resentment, guilt or regrets!
When do we get videos teaching men to stop being narcissists instead of teaching women to detect narcissism? Putting the accountability on women yet again.
Do I hear an Amen??
@@amycantwell8715Amen!
both would be wise, many on both sides won't heed a word of it even if they saw it.
Men are obsessed with their sex organs, pure and simple. That is the motivation behind almost everything they do.
You can't teach someone not to be a narcissist.
I was married and fully devoted to my ex narcissist husband for 20 years. He gave me silent torture not a spoken word. Did not lift a finger in the home or when we had our children. Thank God I was discarded. He ran away with another woman. God stepped in and gave me male strength. I worked hard and raised our children alone. Life can have their men and their marriages. I’m fully independent and I love and nurture me and my family that love me back. I have an amazing passion too🏊🏻♀️🏊🏻♀️ that keeps me fit and healthy. I would never risk myself to another man I’m too precious for any man.
Another thing i got taught from my father
A man who truly loves you will do anything to protect you even from himself
He will always fear hurting you in any kind of way and will do his best to make you feel safe
I think this counts as a great advice !
I think those kind of men are almost non existent to rare
This video is everything women need. For the first time, it seems to me like someone cares about women.
I would have needed a father like this. I wasted my life in a toxic relationship....
Many fathers actively tried to tell their daughters these things, but got rejected/dis'd in the process.
One important thing i learnt was men really need time alone. They love their space .Some women crowd them and it causes conflict. If you leave him be a while ( and have your own life too) he will love you more than ever.
Be wary of anyone who wants things to move FAST and is trying to be emotionally or physically intimate In A HURRY. Time is your friend and being friends first is even better.
As another viewer commented, I wish
I had known all
this, years ago.
This info should be taught
in high school to females.
There should, also, be a separate class for males about females. (This info
could help so many young
people and they wouldn't make as many mistakes as we have all these years. Knowledge is power! Grateful I found this video.
The most important lessons can't be taught in school. Only life experience will teach you these.
High school is too late. Young girls need to build self esteem from a very young age. Parents, teachers, babysitters, all have to treat children (of any sex) with respect and kindness.
I agree, kids should be taught proper manners, boundaries, sensitivity training, and mostly how to control their emotions. And when they act out they should be taught that there are consequences for such actions. Not necessarily by punishment, but by merely explaining how others may react, such as they may lose a friend or if they offended someone bad enough they could be physically assaulted etc. teach them when they are very young kindergarten 1st grade and constantly up till grad years.
problem is that public schools aren't interested in well adjusted happy people, they have nothing to sell to those people (ran by politicians)...
I fully agree. Sadly in this world of confusion over what a man and what a woman is, that wouldn't even be allowed!
It a woman's responsibility to love herself enough to invest in herself above all other's.
He's just a man, not God.
Wait on The Most High while you work on being the best person you can be.
You attract what you are.
When they said hold the fort down, they clearly didn't mean that was addressed to man. I honestly don't care if all the internet... Lmao, male population hates me. Don't come for my dad either. I hate him as well. But somexs the douchiest dudes try to paint themselves as saints, & even those dude make that dead beat.. look like a hero. So thx Dad... Bc when sh hits the fan, don't cry. Wever u do, just don't cry.. now I want to go around calling dudes buttercup. & My dad didn't call me butter cup .. he called me cuss words & sh. And just to top it off 🙋🏻♀️ yes, it's true. A female as actually Never alone... No matter what u think. I mean, I choose to be alone. But I can't get unalone real quick. U know bc that requires talent & skill apparently 🙄.. And don't try too hard w/ my language either bc I Obviously wasn't, drrr
If we attract what we are then we would all be gay! If you believe in God then you must also believe in the enemy of our souls as well. Men who abuse, lie and waste women's time are sent to steal kill and destroy. That's the truth of the matter!
This is very sound advice….for all women. If his relationship with his mother is not normal….run as fast as you can.
That's not always the case. Don't generalize when you don't have the facts. A man that comes from a "good" family does not necessarily mean he will automatically treat you right. The opposite is also true. Expand your thinking, it helps.
Not all people have good parents. Let’s not assign humans with red flags and generalisations unnecessarily. People are imperfect.
My "mother" was extremely abusive. While I'm a girl, does that make me someone to run away from...??? Yeah maybe I should have gone back to my "parents" after they sold me and had me trafficked so they could have killed me off, because they wanted me out the way one way or another to get the entire inheritance for themselves! But yeah I'm the bad one for not having a normal relationship with them... victim blamers like you make me sick!!!
Very few women are good mothers
@@pld-wc7gfAnd no father is a good father.
🌸 4:39 no communication. If someone refuses to talk when there is misunderstanding and they are angry
Don’t waste your time with them. Communication is the key 🔑
Don’t waste time on arrogant sods like that, just move on and you will meet your true soulmate ❤
thank you for playing the role of teaching me about these valuable advices. im still healing from my first heartbreak that happened 6 months ago, i loved him for four years but he ended it in four months like it was nothing. i did everything in my power to make this relationship work, but i couldn't move a couch without my partner's help, he was my first love but him disrespecting my boundaries was my last streak.
So sorry to hear that! Take time to grief this relationship that ended in such a sad way. You've done the right thing, he sounds awful. When a man doesn't respect your boundaries it only gets worse.
I wish I'd had a wise father who would have cared to teach me all this
100%
Never too late to learn these good lessons and pass them on.
Truth is... This is for us all, for everyone human in this world, male/female, young/old, parents, grandparents, etc...
These are very important needed facts in every relationship.
Correct. This is for us all.
I had a dad, but I wish he would've been a good dad and told me that you told me. Tank you very much I appreciate what you have in your video. If you have a daughter or daughters they're blessed to have a good dad like you.May God bless you for being such a good father.😊
I will say attraction is not the first requirement.. watch for character, responsibility, honesty then you can add love
Dad here, I enjoy explaining this world to my boys.
They let me go into as much detail as I want, asks questions, ect.
From the cosmos to how people are.
I'm pretty cynical but I can't explain it that way to them, obviously.
I think that helps me sometimes.
You are a really great dad. Kudos for having these conversations with your sons. They will serve them well and help them recognize when they are dealing with an emotionally unhealthy relationship.
This content was thorough and made me know for sure why I ended my last relationship. When there are fundamental differences in a relationship, please walk away from that relationship. Do not stay hoping that it will work out. Give them the gift of your absence. FOREVER.
AWESOME CONTENT
wish i had read this before i spent 5 mos. dating the wrong man. it took me that long to see his dishonesty and lack of respect. better to be dateless, and just value friends and family.
Same here❤ I waisted my precious time and heart on the wrong man… but I’ve learned a big lesson
People always show us who they are from the very start. Our biais avoid us to see. But actions always speak louder than word. Do nothing and see what he is going to do . If he calls you , if he helps you , if he wants to see you etc… as women we are trained to accept more than we should and we chase without knowing. Di nothing and observe. Also the energy never lies. When a guy is motivated or not
Wow!🎉
Try married for 20+ years.
😮 I have to say this in 2024. Ladies, women & girls. Stop giving your❤ & bodies to dishonest men. A man will show how he feels by his actions. Stop falling 4 words. Self control your emotions.
This is my 5th year without my Dad on Father’s Day. Im seeing this on Father’s Day.
❤
My condolences for your loss❤
Yes, do not EXCEPT less than you deserve. You are the best and you deserve the best. ❤
Thank you something I needed to hear. My father wasn’t present in my life growing up.
Thank you for explaining how a healthy relationship needs to be.
Honestly, this stuff is valid to every relationship imo, whether it's your parents, siblings, friends, spouse or partner, even coworkers.
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.porassss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is dr.porassss.
Microdosing helped me get out of the pit of my worst depressive episode, a three year long episode, enough to start working on my mental health.
My advice would be, if there are red flags, get out of the relationship quickly. Don't do it like me, who waited 30 years of marriage for him to change, and that never occurred. After the separation, always forgive and forget no matter what the offense. You don't want to be carrying a baggage of hatred or animosity towards your ex. It's toxic for you, not him.
That's it for now... I'm still at the beginning of my new chapter...
God has been my help in every step. In Him, I can totally trust!
Beautiful drawings, btw and great advice!!!
I find #6 to trigger most young men. Like, they are very insecure and even if they parrot "independence is attractive" and wanting to support goals etc, their behavior doesn't match up, especially when it concerns finances.
But marriage takes an independent dependency to work.
extremely well said..thank you for saying what all women and girls need to memorize because the grief of choosing the wrong partner is devastating for everyone but especially if there are children
Exact same can be said for men and boys regarding choosing the wrong partner.
Happy Father's Day to my biological father Felix Rene in heaven , almost two months , you passed away papa.
This brings me to tears, because I'm 53 and my Dad was left to die when me and my twin were a year old and an older sister. We have suffered greatly in marriages and relationships with men due to lack of wisdom in our household growing up, and environment. And my brother has suffered from a lack of wise men to guide him which has caused him greater misfortune. I want to thank you from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet and pray to the God of Israel and Judah to bless and favor you for helping not just me, but I'm sure many others. And I will pass this information along to the women of all ages that I am in contact with. ❤ THANK YOU...
So helpful,wish I knew 50 yrs ago😢
Efforts,respect,trust ,honesty nd constant communication really matters when it comes relationship ,when you dont see these ,you need to think more nd dont settle with the person who doesn't show the same vision f you ,beaing real nd transparent with a word of honor makes you a person to be trusted
Honesty and integrity are needful for both women and men from the git go.
Im single and I found this video, very helpful!😊❤
Then people try to find someone who "shares their vision for the future and are ready to commit? - and that is often an incompatible person. This spells "settling." Readiness to settle down and commitment is hardly a good enough foundation for a long-term relationship. People must be compatible on many layers. If they are not, they will discover later. Then commitment will turn to prison.
Sometimes opposites attract. Seeking perfection may take forever. However I can see your point too. Choices are hard.
@@robertwhite3503 Choices aren't. Someone said: We don't make the
"Right" choices. We make choices and then we explain them right.
I mean, someone doesn't need to completely share all visions for the future and be completely the same in commitment - your core visions and ideas on the matter just need to be compatible. If you get to the core of what you want you might find that there is a way that works for both parties - or not, and you're incompatible.
That's what I learnt over the years. You need good communication, and neither try to bend yourself for someone, nor take disagreements as an attack or end of the world.
@@toni2309 Beneath all those consciously chosen values, interests and commitments is our unconscious wiring: our ilk, or nature. That;s the part that must match FIRST.
Birds of a feather might still be perfectly symbiotic even when they disagree on values and ideas.
I have a friend whose words do not match his actions, he comes through for others but not me. I ignored him and now he calls me childish.
Good. Stand your ground. You deserve better.
People that call names are usually projecting.
Name calling when negative is a form of abuse, if it keeps up you will be emotionally hurt in the long run, sever your ties, he is likely hanging around because he wants something, it could be he needs someone to put down to make him feel better about himself, or that you do stuff for him. Anyway it’s a want want want for him, don’t even stick around to find out exactly what it is, cut your ties, he’s the one who is childish.
Thank you, I know it's common sense, reminders are needed and this serves as much needed support for keeping our senses with us at all times.
Thank you so much for sharing these lessons. I am 24 years old here but I have already learned your first and tenth lessons through experiencing them. Sadly, I was blaming myself all the time, thinking I was the one causing him to mistreat me. But as you said, it’s his character and not about me. I did everything to make him love me but he has never fell in love with me. It was like the more I fought for him, the more he put distance between us. 😢
4th lesson saddens me the most by the way… 😭
I saved your comment to save myself from experiencing the other lessons you mentioned that I haven’t been through. Many thanks again. 😇🙏🏻
Just turned 18 and have never been in a romantic relationship before. Thanks for the truths 🧡
Great presentation. My mom taught me to consider how the man treats his mom. If he disrespects her, he'll disrespect you.
Wish I saw this 11 years ago. This isn't only about a man in your love life. This reminds me alot of my parents and how I was treated.
This is great advice, thank you. ❤ The man I was in a relationship with most recently was a fellow I had to walk away from, since many of the 7 truths were true of him! What's said in the video is correct, "Actions speak louder than words." In the relationship, over and over again, the two didn't match up!
I had to do the same. He wasn't even a boyfriend or husband because he was worried I might find out that he was lying about everything. I found out anyway. Lying he did - he claimed he had pets he didn't have, he claimed he was of a nationality that he wasn't (found that out quickly because he didn't speak the language of that country but I do!) - it was pathetic. His ex had also run away - and he went berserk...
1. Honesty
2. Commitment
3. Respect
4. Communication
5. Trust
6. Independence
7. Never settle for less
Exact same thing should 100% apply to both men and women, and without exception.
@@BAsed_AFro true
@@BAsed_AFro
Very true…but this video and info was meant for women.
@@Divestedpinoyasawa And?
@@BAsed_AFro
And it was meant for WOMEN… go elsewhere and cry us a river.
Brilliant advice for both women and men !
The philosopher Ken Wilber said,
Women nurture it.
Men F**k it or kill it.
💚💚💚
Thank God I had a father that taught me this, however it was up to me to listen and put what I was told into action. That’s the part that matters most.
Love you dad❤
Lying, cheating, and stealing are what entitled men do. And then deny it all when confronted. Run.
Exact same thing w entitled women.
So now what?
Thank you - people who i spend time with should uplift me, not stress me down
My man is such a good man. Thank you universe for bringing him to me❤❤❤
I LOVE this British man.. This is appropriate for Father's Day 🎉 thank goodness I am not in a situation where my time is going. So far, the only love I have ever had was from my Father. A short time but at least I had it.
Thank you so much because I want to be sure I find the right man.
I hope that you will find that one..
This really helped me see things more clearly, as I face divorce and hopefully a fresh start in the future! Thank you so much! ❤🎉
isn't it peculiar how men say they just want a compassionate and caring woman, but once they get a woman like that they end up mistreating her?
This has been my experience so many times, I gave up on relationships with men for my own peace and protection.
No.7 -‘if a relationship brings you more pain than joy, it’s not the right relationship for you.’ This allows for way too much pain! I used to believe something like this, and found myself frequently miserable! A healthy relationship should feel quite easy. If you’re in pain more than 5% of the time in this relationship, it’s the wrong relationship. And if you *are* having difficulties, you should feel comfortable discussing it with your partner ❤
Best advice when first meeting a man go with your gut feeling, if it does not feel right it probably is not right. We form a opinion of a person with in seconds of meeting someone, no matter what they look like or talk a good talk if it feels off then it is.
True! Cuz I have found a man who values, respects, honor, supports me through out our married life that when he's gone I felt that my world crumbles but he taught me to be strong in heart and mind to stand on my own when the time that he would be gone and he's not on my side anymore, that's the reason I could not forget him although it has been almost 10 years of him as a deceased love of my life!
Great illustrations.
Thank you so much for this video. This is a great reminder and super helpfull to hear from a man who truly cares and stand up for women by sharing this.❤ this really gives me hope, what you share and send is needed!
The men I have loved turned out to be liars or cheaters. No need to go any further in trying. Happier alone than with that.
Very informative information. I wish I had someone/a father who told me this when I was young my life would have be so different/better. Thank you.
This video should be called “7 Harsh Truths About People” because the advice is equally important for sons. It’s relationship advice that applies to both sexes.
It’s his video and he named it correctly. The focus was on men , period.
Does it apply to both? Yes .
But that wasn’t the point or direction that they wanted to discuss.
If a woman is a stay at home woman taking care of all of the finances and making sure everything that has to be done gets done, then she too deserves "Respect". !!!!!
This advice is very good, and must apply to both women and men equally. ❤
Not always easy to see bad signs. My late husband was good to his mother and sister, came from a good family and was doing well at work. We dated for 5 yrs before marriage. I never saw the signs that a) he didn't want a home life and refused to buy a house b) said he wanted children but when our son arrived he got jealous and never paid him any attention c) was a perennial teenager - out with his friends, playing sport and drinking and hardly ever home d) ducked out of responsibility and left me carrying the can. Everyone thought he was sweet and kind but he was never there for his own family, us
this is exactly what my mother experienced. I hope you remain positive! Be strong !
@@Andrianabk-v7q thx so much! A bit late for me now though - I'll be 75 next month and suffer from the effects of too much stress, worry and overwork. The real tragedy is that I struggled for 46 years and at least my son turned out well but I sacrificed my life; other people blamed me because my husband seemed so sweet and laid back - I found out he was telling people I was too pushy and uptight, not realising I was having to carry all the responsibilities without any support. I do hope your mom is still young enough to have a life
Not true. Being with him for 5 years before marriage, you saw all that, like him loving spending time with his friends, playing sport and drinking, but you ignored it because you wanted him, not a different guy. I'm sure you knew a guy who was unlike him, but you didn't care about him. A guy can say he wants children to women who want children, so they would choose him or wouldn't leave him.
@@wicker1234 we didn't live together before we married, he lived with his folks and was rebuilding s vintage car. We did everything together, had friends in common; there was fun around his folks' dinner table. He always talked about having a family and there was no clue that he would prove to be different when actually married. It was only then that he showed that he didn't want responsibilty but thought he could carry on having fun like a single man. Strangely, his adopted sister also turned out like that - 3 marriages and abandoned kids that her folks had to bring up. These things don't always show up beforehand. And incidentally, it was he who nagged me to have kids, I was a career girl in those days
@@jpatpat9360 I could be wrong, but many women believe they can change a man in a marriage. Such women want to see only the good qualities in a man and are trying to stay positive about the relationship.
1. Actions reveal the truth.
2. Consistency and commitment.
3. Respect.
4. Communication is crucial. Can come in different forms.
5 = 1 (look for consistency and reliability) + remembering little things
6. Don't lose yourself in a relationship.
7. Never settle for less than you deserve. You deserve the best! A good partner supports and uplifts you.
100% applies to both men and women, without exception.
Or should anyways.
if you were a responsible person you would raise your son to be not like this. i know decent men raised by decent parents
Best comment ever ✨✨🏆
Unless you're in a relationship with a man, you don't know if he's decent or not, and even then, you probably don't know.
Here's the lesson I learned from my experience :
- Don't let yourself be completely emotional in a relationship, and don't choose a partner only based on emotions or momentum ...
In other words love is not the first requirement, choose your partner with your brain along side your heart.
I'm a bisexual woman. I've dated both men and women. I can comfortably say, this video applies to both, easily. I've dated women who lied, made me feel uncomfortable and small, one even hit me. I've dated men who made it clear all they cared about was sex, they just wanted a low commitment fling. Many of these traits apply to women too, and for any men that come across this video, please be aware of that. Women are taught that they need to guard themselves from harmful men, and there isn't enough discussion regarding men guarding themselves from harmful women.
In the end, the one that made me happiest, that's been honest, committed and respectful, was a man, so I find labelling this video as man-specific traits to be untruthful. It can be both. Be aware and don't let love cloud yourself from the truth. Stay safe, friends.