'Elaine & DeSean' Ep. 6 Official Clip | Couples Therapy | SHOWTIME Documentary Series
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 ก.ย. 2019
- Elaine and DeSean talk about how race affects where they go on dates. All episodes streaming now on SHOWTIME.
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COUPLES THERAPY unlocks a hidden world: other people’s relationships. Far from reality-show caricatures, this is true documentary filmmaking that brings viewers into the authentic and visceral experience of weekly therapy with four couples. World-class therapist Dr. Orna Guralnik deftly guides the couples through the minefield of honest confrontation with each other and with themselves, revealing the real-life struggles - and extraordinary breakthroughs - typically hidden behind closed doors. - บันเทิง
Elaine is giving me "I no black, I dominican" vibes. If you know you know lol
hahaha I'm picturing Godfrey saying it. Thank you for making my day
Tidjane Barry lmaooo no problem!
“IT NOT DE SAME, PAPI!”
No hispanic ppl just don’t have a chip on their shoulder or the low self-esteem that black Americans do
@@MyChannel-ul3tm actually, she isnt hispanic! That is not a things. She is a CLEAR AFRICAN DESCENT PUERTO RICAN. Puerto Rico is a Place! Thats her nationality. not a Ethnicity. And if you go there its 80% AFRICAN DESCENT Puerto Ricans. There’s black, white, mixed, etc Puerto Ricans. She is a BLACK PUERTO RICAN. She completely dismissed her blackness. Its common out there, cause Latinos in Central America were taught to hate blackness. They will deny until they’re face turns blue. They are more BLACK over there than BLACK AMERICANS. So no, there is no HISPANIC, OR AFRICAN American, or ASIAN. Those are political categories to boxed everyone one group. Hispanic is NOT a thing. She is ashamed. And if she didnt open her mouth, NO ONE WOULD HAVE KNOWN SHE WAS ANYTHING but a Lightskinned black woman.
She completely minimized what he was saying.
She feels superior to her husband. She is the star of her world, and putting him in uncomfortable situations enforces her twisted view of herself.
bet he makes the dough
@@australianpatriot He must do, otherwise she wouldn't have married him.
@@toomuchinformation yup cuz there’s no other way she would’ve married him. it’s not like she can fall in love with the way everyone else does. i don’t doubt she has some issues to work on but y’all take an inch and run a mile. u see a glimpse into someone’s personal relationship and just saying shit like this and think u know how someone thinks or who they what they’ll do or won’t do. y’all base shit off of bullshit lmao
@@skyebrooklynExcept it's true. If he wasn't a relatively high earner, she wouldn't be with him.....and you know that.
@@toomuchinformation they said they met at the same job they both work and both are bring home money. and i don’t know where u got out of all things that she’s obsessed with money. i’ve watched the shows a few times and that’s definitely not what i got yes i agree she is controlling emotionally but that bc of trauma and the whole point of the show what about any of their central issues had anything to do with finances?
What he talks about is very real and It's not this man's job to accommodate people and make them feel confortable with the way he looks. His spouse not being able to see, recognize and understand this IS INDEED PROBLEMATIC. This grown man should be able to be who he is without having to put on a front and smile, when he doesn't want or feel like it, just for others to be confortable to be in his presence. The problem ISN'T him.
Agreed.
Agree...deal breaker right there
Very well said.
Yes it is very real and his wife not validating it or recognizing his feelings in these public places is really wrong she needs to validate his experience and make it more comfortable for him to go out with her in these public places were he could encounter racism and she needs to start standing up for him when those instances occur.
💯
This is a really nice man. I saw the other of part of this session on Showtime. She calls him 20 times daily in the office and if he dares not answer the phone once, he is in trouble for the rest of the day; common! She is not partner material.
He's such a good guy. Wish his wife would make more of an effort to see where he's coming from and be empathetic with him.
A nice black dark skin woman would have appreciated him!
@@jennalud4748 ok bruh stfu with the colorist bullshit. the shade of her skin doesn’t reflect on how good of a wife she is h have to know what u just said is bullshit. there are dark skin women who would treat him shit and there are light skin women who would treat him better don’t do our people like this (i’m guessing ur black) she has trauma that she needs to work through absolutely but have some empathy damn cuz if u had some u would saying shut like this is out of pocket fr
thank you for saying this without being rude and being empathetic a lot people in these comments are getting wild
When the therapist asks him how he feels about seeing a white therapist and he didn't know what she meant and she mentions the movie "Get Out" I laughed out loud. He said "If I see you with a tea cup it's gonna be a problem" 😂😂😂 This show is so good
Same! I didn’t feel sorry for him one bit. He chooses a life partner who has race issues and who doesn’t advocate for him as a human being. Oh well
Non black and mixed raced have a tendency to play dumb when colorism is blatant...not surprised she down played this
Damn she isn’t even trying to hear him out. Run bruh.
I’m really shocked and confused as to how she’s not aware of the prejudice he faces in public like a restaurant or other public spaces as a black person when she herself is also a person of color as a Puerto Rican women. I’m shocked that she dose not understand what he is speaking about
Why? She's not ADOS.
She’s really insensitive.
I absolutely couldn’t stand heeeerrrr!!! Like Ugggghhh!!! She is the worst unsympathetic person ever, she doesn’t get it at all. 🙄
Around 1:22, Desean purses his lips. Pursed lips are a sign of anger, including when it is suppressed. It is effectively holding the mouth shut to prevent the person saying what they feel like saying. ... Pursed lips can also indicate a person who is thinking and who is deciding between possible options. Leave her.
This proud Black man deserves a partner who sees him and allows him to be.
He picked what he wanted. He clearly didn’t take time to learn how she feels about blackness and race relations. Seems like he was more focused on her exterior.
@@marriejames01☝️- 🎯💯🔥🫣😬🙃
She's gotta stop calling him so much! This is JUST LIKE me and my husband in so many ways! I have learned to respect my husband... he has a very busy important job. Once or twice is enough. He says he's busy... leave him be!
I am a white woman but I completely get what he says. It’s absolutely real and it absolutely happens. There is white privilege even in shades of brown. Seems like there should be enough high end black owned establishments that she doesn’t have to force him into those scenarios. Also disappointing to see so many say to just leave her. Is love so superficial to you? When you love someone you go the distance. You go through actual hard stuff, like this
If she is being oblivious to the racism he faces there’s no fixing that. Like none. Being with her is dangerous to his mental health. HOWEVER I’m sure he chose her for her “exotic-ness.” I bet he was excited to get her. It just hadn’t panned out as he thought it might.
@@mft7530My thoughts exactly! I’m just beginning watching the series and that was my observation as well.
She should have his back. If people are walking up to her and ignoring him, she should make/encourage these people to include him and respect him.
How a person can be better with a partner like her? She needs a lot individual therapy
She is blaming him for the perception of others. He seems like the guy who walks in, is quiet and polite to the staff and other customers and maybe even tips well, but he can see the stares. It's not his fault. I bet he desires the same lovely evenings she envisions, but the environments she chooses, doesn't envision him in it.
That man needs a Black wife because this one is at least half-Black but she is pretending she isn't and "can't relate" when she knows what's up or she may be those I'm not that type of Black people and has been indoctrinated with aspiring to whiteness and has internal colourism. That's the vibes she is giving. I feel for that man, having a partner that invalidates you worse than the strangers in the restaurant or the system you live in every day. You're not too old to start over and be happy with someone who won't gaslight you sir - wishing you the best
He CHOSE her though. There’s no way, absolutely none, that he didn’t know that about her prior to marriage. It just didn’t matter. Until it did.
Hello. SHE’S black. She’s a Puerto Rican who happens to be black. What is this delusion?
I can't stand her ugh🙄. She still looks black whether she see or not .
I like her. No problem here but she thinks she’s not black. Lol. It’s no big deal. But I can understand the horrible nature of colorism.
She's not ADOS.
What?
I don’t get it, she’s black too but she doesn’t feel like he does
She is black I agree but she Identifies as Puerto Rican not African American, big difference in culture and many Puerto Ricans don't identify with being black even if they do have black features, it's a cultural thing and also because she is lighter than him she may not encounter the same treatments in public settings as her husband. But Puerto Ricans come in many colors and shades and I also think this fact bothers her husband.
There are a few key differences..She is a woman and sadly she is lighter in tone....Mainstream America can be scared or intimidated by a dark skinned black man.
She doesn’t have a victim complex like most blacks do
She probably ignores it or does like what she told him to do: tap dance to make everyone feel comfortable
@@billymanziel5666 Because most african americans ARE vicitimized wtf you on about?!
But she's black too! And clearly he has a lot of self hate issues and chose his partner based on her complexion!
When I watched this season, I found myself empathizing with the husband. Thats all I got...
He should have married a Black American woman. He wouldn’t be having these problems.
He was an idiot for marrying her. He had to have known her mentality before proposed to her. This is where Simping nets you. Married to a woman who does not love you, only loves what you can do for her. She does not care anything about how he feels, yet I blame him because in the end he did not have to marry her. He brought this on himself!
There's nothing more frustrating in a marriage, is when your partner does not get Black Stuff. They don't think it's racism, they think it's you and people are rude because you are the problem. I am Black and my husband was white and he ignored many micro and macro aggressions towards me and our kids because he just did not want to see it. I think even other brown people can be this way too. I really thinks it comes from living with a person and they don't see race or color and its when you go into the world and people are jerks, for no reason, there's this disconnect and a lack of empathy. Your foibles as a person get confused for the racism youre facing on a daily basis. imho
I think by admitting it happens your husband will have to confront his own ignorance...people like to think they are morally better than they are, myself included. Maybe you just need empathy, and would want him to have a open mind.
You signed up for that🤷🏽♂️
"Mi no black papi"
Lol I screamed
If he married an African American woman who identifies as such he wouldn’t have these issues. He married this and this is what he gets. Next issue.
How you know?
Black men want peaceful homes so we marry out. No one wants a man in a dress aka AA woman.
@tflg325 AA women screaming for attention in the comments is the only struggle I see.
@@PGCTRAVELS and yet he is married to a woman who has totally dismissed him because she doesn’t see herself as a “ black”. She looks down on him and with her mannerisms and speech I’m SURE his home isn’t peaceful. Now have a good day with that BS you just tried to throw out.
@@LisaLisaCJ I said what I said! You have a great day too Lisa!
Sounds like colorism
Oof. So many people are railing on my girl. She is a New Yorker. You can hear it. New Yorkers are used to owning adversity. His concerns are equitably valid. As a black man he is speaking facts. This is therapy there is some juggling and unpackaging. NOT everything comes out polished.
. She is a CLEAR AFRICAN DESCENT PUERTO RICAN. Puerto Rico is a Place! Thats her nationality. not a Ethnicity. And if you go there its 80% AFRICAN DESCENT Puerto Ricans. There’s black, white, mixed, etc Puerto Ricans. She is a BLACK PUERTO RICAN. She completely dismissed her blackness. Its common out there, cause Latinos in Central America were taught to hate blackness. They will deny until they’re face turns blue. They are more BLACK over there than BLACK AMERICANS. So no, there is no HISPANIC, OR AFRICAN American, or ASIAN. Those are political categories to box everyone in one group. Hispanic is NOT a thing. She is ashamed. And if she didnt open her mouth, NO ONE WOULD HAVE KNOWN SHE WAS ANYTHING but a Lightskinned black woman.
She's not ADOS.
He needs to divorce her. She seems cold & detached.
Afro Latino kewns
My last girlfriend was just like Elaine. I hope he divorced her.
Bro his damn wife looks pretty black herself.... CLEARLY an AFRO-latina.... so why is she..... never mind 🤦🏾♂️🤦🏾♂️🤦🏾♂️
She's not ADOS.
This is very important as a black man and is why I will always marry A black woman and nothing else .
Divorce her. She doesn't care about you and uses you to elevate her twisted self image. (Sorry for being harsh but I feel for the man.)
That's wild. She literally doesn't understand colourism.
People think darker skin is scary. It doesn't matter what his face is doing.
I am late to this show watching this episode pissed me off. I thought I was crazy when I was picking up she was outside of blackness. My family is from Georgia and Louisiana and she looks like my family members. Culturally she’s Puerto Rican, but just have eyes you are a black woman. Like sis 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I am also late to this show, and when I saw this episode, I ran to YT to make sure I wasn’t tweaking🤦🏾♀️That lady is crazy asf😒
That is NOT a black woman. She is certainly multi-ethnic but calling her a black woman is false and disingenuous.
@@NegritaBrujitaShe's not ADOS, which is the big issue here.
She has to learn to hold back and play just even a little by his "rules".
Elaine is not understanding the privilege or dare i say the proximity to privilege that comes with being one of lighter skin complexion. This man is telling you that being a successful dark skin Black man in an opulent environment comes with judgment from the outside world and she seems to not find the empathy to see him and understand it. My heart aches for him
There no way she looks in the mirror and not see a black woman
It’s possible. I have seen this a lot, especially with Hispanics with black features. Many of them don’t see themselves as black.
@@schail she looks like my mom and she’s black asf. Ain’t no way she thinks she sliding as something else. She will have to announce everytime she’s Puerto Rican for people to know. Plus I guarantee her mama dark and that’s why her father’s family didn’t fck with her.
Mi no negro papi. Mi Dom...er Puerto Rican papi. Salsa salsa.
Well he married out so that’s what he gets.
Super annoyed that she tries to act like she's brand new. She has way too much kink in her hair to try to detach from her obvious afro roots. smh
But she's not ADOS.
Elaine is toooo needy.
She has chosen willful ignorance here about racism and is also throwing him under the bus by not taking him at his word. Not cool.
Thank Goodness I’m going through a divorce. I don’t have time for this shit
As a black man I know his struggle
I am really confused.
But he's also giving I married her bc she's not black. If he wanted someone to relate to, why did he marry her?
Elaine is in denial. If they ever have kids I would be worried.
People get your C hildhood Trauma resolved before you get into a Romantic relationship.
His wife is so toxic
This chick pretending she isn’t black because she speaks Spanish? Let me guess, she’s Dominican?
You already know she is! Just disgusting smh
Just because she has brown skin doesnt make her Black. She identifies with her nationality and that is fine. She is not Black and that is acceptable.
@@RAJOHN-ke7mc Dominicans are Black though and have African Ancestry. Looking at her right off the bat I'm like how the hell does she minimize his issues as a Black man when she literally is a Black Latina. She can identify as Dominican but she is still Black
@@alexiajohnson6402 Y’all have to stop forcing blackness on people. The concept of race isn’t the same in these other parts of the world. AND a lot of them have admixture and aren’t black at all in some cases.
If she doesn’t see herself as black you can’t force that on her.
@@alexiajohnson6402 all Dominicans arent Black. I know mixed race Dominicans and Afro Dominicans. Each group celebrates their nationality and culture over all else.
A persons African Ancestry doesnt automatically make them Black. Dont try to.change a person's ethnicity to fit your narrative.
Her body language when she feels some type of way is over powering. Her attitude towards him is nasty. Dont abuse this man.
Is she not black ?
She’s black her damn self wtf is this???!!
You see ppl don't understand until the shoe is on the other foot. Yes she is Hispanic your not white and they look at you like ya black
How much is his triggers? And how much is other people? I won’t say he doesn’t have those experiences, I’m absolutely sure he does. But how much is his own baggage he’s bringing to the situation. I’m sure he’s had a lifetime of feeling this way and it won’t be an easy fix for him. All human beings have baggage and the better he can look at his own baggage, the better he’ll be able to handle those situations when they arise. Otherwise, it’s possible, he may be misinterpreting situations that occur around him.
That's an easy way to handwave it--it's not them, it's me. But we don't live in a world where racism is not an everyday thing, babe. We need to live on this reality. That's not baggage, that's refusing delusion
That’s not a good wife.
Hay man, as lovely as she seems, may be time to change. So damaging when a person of color- minimizes the experience of a BLACK MAN. Next.
She's super ignorant & dismissive.
She’s tired of listening to his whining. 🤷🏽♀️
Damn she makes it tough to be with a sista😩
She doesn't identify as a "sista" so I'm not sure why you trying to blame this on black women smh
She's not black...
Look at y’all clowns finding any excuse to put black women down when this video features a Hispanic woman putting down her own black husbands struggles. No black women are involved
Why are black women on your mind? You know damn well she doesn’t identify as a black woman and he doesn’t see her as a black woman.
Hispanics try hard not to understand black struggles. Also this part of that show reminded me why you should stick to your kind. She has zero sensitivity to his struggle. I, as a black man, experience uncomfortable moments at restaurants all the time back to when I lived in the Midwest. Not until I move to Northern New Jersey (very diverse) they become less frequent.
He picked the wrong wife. She is very immature and small minded in that part. She acts ignorant and condescending towards him. Is she Dominican?