I went for an MRi recently, I'm halfway through my chemo and I was having a particularly hard day. The MRI tech told me she knew exactly how I felt and what I was going through because... she'd had an ear infection for 3 days.
Thank you for teaching me!!! I might have said "its only hair... it will grow back... there are some lovely chemo scarves and hats!!!" However, I would not like to shave my head!!! Thank you!!!
God, I pray for all of the people that are on this page that are suffering with cancer and those who have to be around those who have cancer. Bring an understanding to those who do not understand one another. Bless everyone of us. Heal us and use us in your will. Amen
As very close friend told me not to have a mastectomy because she thought it would make my husband sad and he would leave me. I became utterly shocked at her response and she just said, I'm just trying to help you and make sure your kids have a dad in their lives. WTF!!! worst thing to say ever.
After I was diagnosed with breast cancer I watched several videos about cancer on TH-cam but I got depressed by doing this. You are the only one that I still watch all the time. You are awesome and inspiring.
As a someone who has never had a cancer diagnosis, I appreciate this video SO much! I especially appreciate the three things to say - I'll use this. I just want to add, if you learn of someone diagnosed with lung cancer, please do not say, "Did he/she smoke?" It doesn't help to hear that. When my dad was diagnosed I heard that A LOT and my reply became a short, "Why? Would that make him deserve to get cancer?" I understand that smoking causes cancer, but quite honestly asking that does NOT help in any way. Thanks Nalie! You're awesome!
Good point, Jaime. My mom had a cancerous tumor on her lung. We both worked during a time when smoking was allowed in stores. As a non smoker, we just had to put up with cigarette smoke.
A family friend had had lung cancer. Of course she didn't deserve that, or was of any help if anyone asked her if she smoked. But everyone knew she smoked a lot so hopefully nobody asked.
I've already gotten a few of these. But what actually hurts the most is the people who say nothing. The friends you thought would be there, but cant handle it. I just keep reminding myself that its their problem, not mine.
True, I had my closest friend tell me my breast cancer was too much drama! Never called or text me, but 2 girls from high school reached out and now we are the best of friends,plus 6 close friends hugged me in love. I had someone with me in the hospital and at home for the first week. Others brought food frozen ready for crock pot. Grocery shop for me. I was lucky for the friends I am so close too
You rock. When I say I'm sorry, it's because you're going through chemo. Chemo is so incredibly hard. Neuropathy, metallic taste, loss of taste, nausea, chemo exhaustion, stomach problems, daily injections, muscle aches, joint pain, crushing headaches, sores in the mouth and hair loss. And then repeated CTs, diagnostic laparoscopy, blood tests and sometimes blood transfusions. But as you said, this is how you're fighting cancer and it's hard and it's scary. On top of that, you get depressed and scared and nobody understands what you're going through. You're friends and family want to be there for you, but it also rips them apart to see you sick. Don't ever forget they love you and will be there for you and you get better. Nothing else matters.Thank you so much for this post. It's amazing and so are you.
I was told that maybe I needed to get right with God, and that maybe this was his way of "getting my attention". Also, I was told that maybe it was because of my unhealthy lifestyle/diet. Either way, I was made to feel like it was my fault and that I had in some way brought it upon myself. :-( By the way, I'm still undergoing radiation for breast cancer. I was diagnosed at 34. I only have 6 more treatments, so I'm very much looking forward to that!!!
+Faithful Servant Thank you for your kind words, for your prayers, and for all your positivity. I believe as you, that everything we are given, good or bad, is for HIS glory and he is always in control. It was very hurtful to hear those things at first, but then i realized that only I know the relationship that I have with God, and that people will always have their own opinions regardless.
Hey Nalie, just wanted to say thank you. I was just diagnosed with stage 3 ovarian cancer a couple of months ago and stumbled on to your videos. I think the worst ones for me is stay positive and it's just hair, it will grow back. I know they all mean well, but it feels like they dismiss my feelings when all I want to do is scream right now. It's ok to be mad, sad, and pissed off.
My friend had the same cancer, and she worked the entire time and never got sick or tired during chemo. You can do the same. This drove me insane. Plus I ended up in the hospital after my first 4 treatments.
THIS is the one I hated the most! LOL Basically saying that if you have cancer you should also be a SUPERWOMAN! F*** THAT! I was just still myself when I had cancer (twice) - happy, sad, angry, scared, tired, hopeful, pissed off, every kind of feeling. And I chose to FEEL MY FEELINGS and BE MYSELF and I think it helped me to move through it, and now that my treatments are over and so far I'm cancer-free (!!!) I can move forward, because I let myself move through the experience as myself, not as some super hero. Cancer is not a competition to prove how amazing you are. You're already amazing, just being yourself.
I can totally relate to this. for me it annoys me every time I tell ppl I have cancer they say to me oh you look so good for someone with cancer. I totally get their good intentions but it just sounds weird.
+lildevil872 Right!!? Like what is someone with cancer supposed to look like? Not all chemo wipes out hair... everyones body is different! I totally get you. Thanks for sharing!
I think part of that relates to TV and the movies. Look at any cancer patients you see on these. Some fall into the "climb every mountain, ford every stream" category" ... the patient is so healed that you can imagine a shining light around them. They run 24-hour marathons, climb out Mt. Everest, etc. But about 95% fall into the more-depressing category. They are depressed, unable to step outside of a doctor's or a medical facility because they are chained to an IV. And oh ... they often die by the end of the show. (Usually, it's a way to permanently write an actor off the show and milk some emotion in the process.) People pick up on the latter, and think that EVERY cancer patient is like that.
as a cancer patient, some ppl used to tell me how sorry they are for me and also to stay positive...yes i can definitely relate to what you are saying, these things always really annoyed me, I always say do not tell me how should I feel or be unless you are in my shoes
Please dont ask them if it is contagious!!like what the hell!! and if you go to hug them please dont pull away-we wont hurt you!!!This is all very upsetting, also its like people dont want to tell you happy things anymore because you have been diagnosed-we can still be happy for people who have babies,get jobs all that!! We can be happy for you!! Dont do chemo its poison-well a lot of people are here today because they have had chemo so dont tell us please- we are fighting for our life.!! You rock girl and every one is so true!!! Love and hugs.xx
Contagious cancer does exist among certain canine species, what is so insane is that the cancer is all from one original dog that is just spreading. It has not happened for humans and it will probably never happen but if it ever does it would be really easy to contain it
Number 5 seriously enrages me, and I'm all over TH-cam fighting with vloggers who say this and pushing carrot juice diets and cannabis. No. 6. is horrible. Stay positive. I get that a lot, and it even goes as far as psychologists telling me that studies show your thoughts can affect your body (so basically if anything bad happens it's because of your thinking negatively), or people telling you that pain you might feel is in your mind because the doctors gave you the best case scenario.
I love your videos! I watched them while I was going through my chemo for Hodgkin's lymphoma. The 'im so sorry' is one of the worst that I herd. almost as bad as people pointing and whispering and not even saying anything at all. That actually made me not want to leave the house. Another thing I hated was when people called it a 'journey'....it's not a vacation to another place, it's a fight for our lives. love you, and I wish you all the best in your fight!
I agree with you Nalie. One thing that pissed me off, is when they knew i have it then they start to relate stories about people they knew who had this kind of illness too. It hates me because it took me guts to reveal my privacy but these people just treat it lightly. I know theyre making my burden light by comparing me to people who has the same sickness, but please I am the topic of the story here. The moment i reveal it, i need people to just keep quiet and listen and have a little bit of sympathy, and to feel for me and not to divert the topic right away by exchanging stories abt other people. Ive seen a lot of people like these that prefers to talk than to just listen and sympathize.
Nalie, I just got my chemo port taken out! It hurt EVERY...SINGLE...DAY that I had it in me. It served its purpose and I am so happy it is gone! I clapped when you said you had yours out too. Did people tell you that the port (and hair falling out during chemo) is "your badge of honor"? Those are badges I could do without and...I have to say it...'"BADGES? We don't need no stinkin' badges!" :D
I was so happy when I had my port removed. I was given local and it wasn't pleasant. Still it was a relief to have it taken out. I had a gastric tube I had to feed with for a time too.
I can certainly identify. I am a head and neck cancer survivor. "stay positive" definitely is something we patients should be allowed to decide to do when we feel like it. We have earned the right to own our emotions whatever and whenever they might be. A neighbor of mine said something totally insensitive to me one time. After I had told her the medical team was very optimistic about my prognosis, she said yeah sure. They always tell you that. It always comes back. It's just a matter of time. It may take years but it will return. That's what happened to everyone I know who had it.
This is a great video. I just lost my mom to cancer. It was a nightmare. It was terrible. It's the same way people say terrible things to you with you're grieving like, "you're mom is still there with you.". No, no she's not. It's not the same. That doesn't give me comfort. I would much rather physically have her here.
i was diagnosed with leukimia on feb 2016,my hair was not falling at all,i shaved my head so i look like a cancer patient,cause i was the only person whos hair was not falling😁😂
Ahhh!! The "stay positive" thing! I just told yesterday to my sister the exact same thing: that I have the right to feel bad now and then while going through chemo and mastectomy and radiotherapy and fighting for my life and that I feel like hitting the person telling me to stay positive when I am feeling down! I know they mean good but if you don't know what to say, better say nothing!
I don't mind if people say "I'm sorry", but it depends HOW they say it. "I'm sorry to hear about this. It sucks. Why don't we go out for a cup of coffee and do a little ______ later? You could probably use a break." (Walking, shopping, etc.) Then GO to the coffee shop. This is in opposition to "I'm sorry", delivered with those pity eyes. SPARE me the pity eyes! That is the difference.
Hi ,I am indian , ur strong by de way of ur speech. ..my mom undergone masectomy almost 10yrs ....I always fear dis cancer as I am nurse also, but ur speech make me stronger...jesus save us....luv u
No. 8 At least it's not terminal. That you're lucky there's a cure. You're better than others. Like they're telling me I shouldn't be upset. It pisses me off.
Hi, there are a couple I hate hearing: your soo Young to have cancer!!! I've looked online and you should do this and do that etc! after telling someone your diagnosis they then say oh I have this too and telling you there illness! don't use your mobile or laptop! and this one is with cancer patients who also have little children, oh he's too young to remember he'll be fine with out you! ps I think your VERY inspirational and you give me a lot of hope!
That I just have to have the right attitude or enough faith. Like I can will my cancer away. If God doesn't cure me then I guess I either did something wrong and it's my fault or he didn't think I was worth saving. Either way it doesn't make me feel good. Leaving my kids and husband behind sucks! If I could will it away I would.
please don't said that, we never ever suffer because we are bad or do something wrong, feel blessed to have what you have, if God allow you to have cancer is because you are strong! He love you and no one died febore time, I believe God have the power to cure, you. life is a risk with cancer or not cancer. any body can die for a reason o no reason, things happens, sooner o later we need to die no matter what, if you have kids or husband God will take care them, that's not mean you going to die because the cancer, that I mean is RELAX GOD LOVE YOU AND HE WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU AND YOUR LOVELY FAMILY. is ok to feel angry and guilty but don't blame GOD! HE LOVE U AND NO MATTER WHAT!
you never did anything wrong, because he doesn’t give you earthly punishment. the punishment is to your eternal life, and if he doesn’t spare your earthly life, it just means that he wants to see you sooner! Mark 5:34 says “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be healed from your earthly suffrage.”
This one! Omg my hairdresser said this exact thing to me. Then all the other hairdressers chimed in about how “ they watched a documentary “. I have never eyerolled so hard in my life.
Oh Nalie, I love watching your videos - and this one had me not knowing whether to laugh or cry!! I finished my chemo 9 months ago and have just booked in for reconstruction. I can relate to every one of those statements. You are truly an inspiration. Thank you 😍
My favorite comment was I had a relative who had a root canal when I was on treatment 3 of AC, so they let me know that they are practically the same thing. I reassured them as someone who had had a root canal they are not the same thing
Nalie, of all the things you said, which are valuable, the last three are most important. Most people ask how one is but they don't want to hear the truth. I prefer them not to ask if they don't want to hear the truth but I won't be forced to lie to keep a happy face. The second one, how can I help, sometimes instead of helping they drive me crazy. One night I had to argue to some friends because I didn't do what they expected me to do; they even accuse me of getting difficult. I told them that nobody was going to decide for me and that their help was to be there, not to think the way I do or be my parent (I'm old enough to do what I please). And the third, to be there, I can say I lost three friends from the 1994 time because I said I had cancer. One of them answered, I told her that I don't need her to talk about cancer; that's why there are cancer sites, I just needed to be there, I needed their friendship. They went away and I wish them luck; I cannot retain what I don't have. So, dear Nalie, you are right. Thank you. Your insight about this cancer journey are a treasure. I am scared about the stabbing pain I had when the PS inserted the TE and I have to go on with the final phase of reconstruction (final implants). I think I have capsule contracture with TE, and I am scared that it may happen with the implant.
Aww Maria, your examples are PERFECT! Thank you so much for sharing. I hope your surgery goes well. I love my reconstruction :) Thanks for your kind words xo
Maria Amaro i have had to argue with my sisters because they were doing everything from teaching me what healthy drinks i should drink to wanting to move out of my home where im comfortable and feel safe just so i could be closer to them and it would be easier for them to help me. REALLY! I had to really own my cancer and make them understand that this was not about them and how i could make things easier for them.
"Most people ask how one is but they don't want to hear the truth. " Been there! And if it's someone who's just an acquaintance and has been annoying- I tell them! just to see the look on their face & their response of- uhhhh . . .
Thank you for your video it makes me happy and positive I'm going true to my second treatment of quimo therapy I got diagnostic of treple negative cancer on my right breast on March 2020
I have the same like you I was diagnosed in February I have removed my breast now I am going with chemo 17 chemo, Howe are you doing and how are you progressing?
i was diagnosed with liposarcoma last christmas. the most common question i got was "how'd you get it?" i never thought about this question but WOW it made me so upset! all i could really say to that was "i..... don't know.." so glad to have stumbled on your channel.
When I was first diagnosed last year and told people I'd have to have a mastectomy...someone..Im sure out of the goodness of their hearts said, "You're going to have great boobs after the boob job!" I was dying inside and she said that. I do have great boobs now..but it's not a boob job. I told someone..I have no boobs to do a job on. They had to recreate mine which now have zero feeling and no nipples. So...no. Not a boob job.
Natalie, I truly hope you are doing well beautiful lady. Prayers coming your way. Thank you for the video...you have made it very clear that being positive is the most important thing a friend can do. HUGS!!!
My bf (now ex) made it more about him, he became the victim of my cancer. When I was scared and angry he took it personal and said I was being "mean to him". He never once attempted to put himself in my shoes and feel empathy. He claimed he didn't know how to feel empathy. When I found out I had further metastasis and mentioned that if it got to a point where nothing was working for me and I was in my final stage I would like to address assisted suicide. He broke up with me over this. When I was on Chemo, he would say "made it thru another day good on you". "you're so strong" I'm without words to describe how alone I feel now.
I appreciate your feelings and what you think works for you and for others. I hope when I say this, you can appreciate my feelings and what I think works for me and others. I agree with you on many levels of what you said. I also disagree on some levels. I am tired of hearing what everyone should be like and feel like and how we must be positive. No one wants to hear any negative anything. But, wants us to listen to all their negativeness. No one truly cares about anyone anymore. Unless it effects them personally. We have a right to feel as we feel. A right to speak out what we want to speak out about. Just treat us the same as you always did. Those who think they know what it is like for others may be right and may be wrong . It is different for everyone and the experience effects us all individually in different ways. Both physically and emotionally. Responses such as: Be positive, You are lucky to be alive, Everything happens for a reason, Sin is why we have it or it is Karma. Are all lousy things to say to someone and hurtful. These are what I hate hearing. Because life has totally changed and not for the better. It takes everything from you. Including people. You become alone if you don't do the treatment a doctor wants you to do. There is no support. Unless you get it from someone you know. Because we often don't appear to be dying. We are called lyres and that we make it up. From those who are suppose to love us and those we don't even know. It makes us targets. Telling someone what works for ones self is what we need to say. (or what I have chosen and works for me) Giving all choices available to all in order to survive. Respect the choice we each make. Don't push us into what you/I think is best. All these topics are issues that we all deal with. Some have a support system. Others don't. I like and dislike this video. You spoke for us all. It is how you feel. I appreciate any advice anyone wants to tell me. Knowledge is good. Your feeling are real. Mine are too. I have fought cancer since I was 17 years old. I am soon to be 60. I chose to not do chemo or the rest they wanted me to do. I was dying their way. I am alive my way. That is the proof. I do not want to say your way is not good. It is what you feel is best for you. I do what I feel is best for me. Those who tell you alternatives want to help save you. Doctors are there to make money for hospitals. Proof was out there and has been suppressed legally in order to make money off us. Those are facts that doctors have come forward about. 92% of doctors will not do chemo. That should tell you something. I pray you stay well. All those who have, may have and do not have and never will have; be well and God bless you all.
I think she meant what the person wants to do should be left completely up to them. They are the one with cancer so they should make the choice. I think what she meant was someone who doesn’t have cancer shouldn’t be telling someone with cancer how they should go about their journey. For someone to butt into how your dealing with it and say “ well I don’t think you should do that I think you should do xyz” is very rude because it’s that persons cancer and that persons decision, and just because you think it’s best doesn’t mean it is. That’s what I thought she meant but that’s just my opinion. I’m a cancer patient too btw lol.
+NalieAgustin A friend of mine had cancer but died from it and I told him at one time, 'you look good.' Boy was he upset with me. I felt really bad about it and tried to say I was sorry but I don't think he accepted it.
Aww don't feel bad. Everyone is different. The importance as mentioned in the video is the intention. Deep down inside your friend knew that you were trying to do good and thats all that matters
Hi Natalie..love your name that's my Grand babies name also. Had my lumpectomy on Friday. Was so scared. Came across your website you are truly a Angel!! Waiting to hear my Pathology report...I'm nrevous! I agree people really say crazy things to me lately about my Cancer. I'm a Cashier at a Grocery Store.
When someone is having pre-cancer diagnosis pains, don’t say, “I’m sure it’s nothing.” The future patient has a brain that knows when something is wrong with its system of which is the total body.
My Gp told me not to worry if my cancer comes back because my kids aren't that young and they will be fine. Umm I'm only 34 and my kids are 6 & 11, of course I'm worried.
It hurt me so bad. When my oldest daughter called me. And said mom How long are you going to live. And I said what? And she said when do you think your going to die? Mind you I had not too long ago found out I had cancer. Had surgery went through a coma they said I wasn't going to make it. So when she said that. It took everything I had in me not to go off and lock up her. I just said, I don't know why? And she said I was just asking. I thought that was so wrong. And it hurt like hell.
my mu died of breast cancer last year and one day she went to the ATM and people were laughing at her because she was bald and i went out of my mind to defend my mother and completely yelled at all 3 teens about 16-17 i was 10 they left they just thought my mu shaved her head for no reason not coz she had cancer let me tell u they felt pretty damn bad after i told them it was cancer. after se died my dad got cancer he went on chemo for 9 weeks and he had 90% of it going he had a CT scan and we found out today its completely gone!
Hey. I also have cancer. Long story short, my body couldn't take anymore radiation or chemo so now I'm on cannabis Oil yes. I'm with you on the stupid comments people say :) I'm a whole new care a damn about the NORMAL world around me :) God said to me, if I do hospital treatment im gonna die so this is my hustle nw and I help people :) He opened my eyes to see what cancer patients go through. I never cared till I actually got it 3 times already
I am a cancer survivor and giiirrl you are right about what to say and not say. I had a coworker tell me "ohhhh I wouldn't have shaved my hair off" I told her that I'M TAKING CONTROL OF THIS CA. AND I WILL DECIDE WHEN I GO BALD NOT THE CA.
I hate being told "you have to fight this" really... How do you fight something you can't see. Yes, you can follow the treatment plan your oncologist suggests but "you have to fight". Also... "at least you're getting treatment". What really angers me is "stay positive". I'm kinda the person who prefers to think and research the worst and anything else is a bonus. I totally convinced myself it was nothing to stay "positive" and broke down hearing the news.
Boi! I touch on a lot things i get frustrated about too. I going though that journey now and the one i hate is "oh i am so sorry" i now just dont say i have breast cancer. Thanks for the video
My favorite is someone has to tell you about their family member who died a horrible cancer death. Thanks as a RN i know that, plus my mom died of breast cancer Mets. Close friends who were with me could joke about a boob job. But someone I hardly knew made me angry.
I have stage two papillary carcinoma. I've had people tell me things like oh you are so lucky cuz its the good cancer or waving it off like I have a cold or something. It's quite upsetting. Cancer is cancer, people. 🤦♀️
I had to have my whole thyroid taken out and I have been having issues since. Just recently spent 2 days in the hospital because of low calcium levels plus other levels that were incredibly messed up. Good cancer my ass!
Te amo fuerte amiga!! Besos desde Argentina! I was told all of the above and some more... LOL I guess stupidity is global. I'm so happy to have you. Thank you!
Here are my two contributions: 1. You're so strong/brave/positive 2. I could never do that. They're usually said together, and I know they come from a good place but I haaaate them. I'm not strong or brave just because I choose to continue to exist. As for positive...well, what's my other option? Crying all the time? Really, I've got two choices here. I can either cry all day and just give up or I can choose to move forward. Either way, I still have cancer. I'd rather choose to be positive. That doesn't mean I don't cry or I'm not angry, I just don't share those moments with most people. As for the "I could never do that" Yes...yes you could. Because you'd have no choice. If people could simply choose to not have cancer...no one would keep their cancer. It's meant to build people up, be an expression of how resilient and strong they think you are, but it's actually really insulting because I would not be doing this if I didn't have to. Don't get me wrong, I've definitely said stuff like this before. With my sister in law's cancer, I definitely told her I shouldn't be allowed to complain about my small problems because hers were worse. When I got cancer myself, I finally understood. My problems don't negate yours. Pain is pain and life is hard for everyone, just in different ways. RIP sweet Nalie
I have stage 4 cancer and people say the same things to me. However, I don't get offended because I know that they are coming from a place of compassion and kindness. To be honest, I think that too many people with cancer are snowflakes, and they take offence where none is intended.
Hi. I like your videos and I totally relate to this one. I have heard all 7 things, and the saddest one is when someone said.... people die of cancer, and Im like ..yes people die but not all of them. That pissed me off. Im a cancer patient.
I had shared this. I wish you had it on facebook so I could share it larger than life. I face my family this Christmas. I have chosen not to do chemo. I feel it does not work and is unnecessary for my situation. I am an RN. I do know things. I feel they are trying to over treatment my stage 0 in situ. There is no evidence that it ever will metastasize. I have no node involvement. Yet the want to hit me with chemo, radiation. Rediculous. If in time that changes. I will make different decisions. I have risk factors that would make chemo kill me. If mine were at your stage I would have made different decisions. It is my decision. I am hoping my family respects that. FYI I have been misdiagnosed 3 times. I am going to slow down. This has been going on since I was 15. Good luck. I am older at 49. But my doctors say you are so young. I have to remind them of my age. Lol. I have aged well so far.
“That Coca Cola will kill you.” I’ll work w my oncologist on that, but thank you! For now, it decreases a huge culprit, anxiety. Anxiety may be even more harmful than the Coke. Yes cancer cells need sugar for energy..... like all cells in the body, but sugar doesn’t make can er grow faster. However, unlike cells of the body, cancer doesn’t like ketones for energy. So it’s taught and documented that a ketogenic diet can help keep the body fueled w ketones and starve cancer of sugar.... which it needs to survive and grow.
I've watched just about all of your videos. I just want to say you are a very beautiful, courageous and lovely soul. I've recommended your TH-cam channel to a friend who has cancer. I hope seeing how strong and brave you were let's her know she can survive as well. Stay strong and positive. Sending my love and prayers.
Hi Nalie I love watching your TH-cam as a guidance to get me thru my difficult times thru breast cancer I'm only on day 3 of radiation and I'm super tired even after naps can you give me any advice to get me thru the end. U make a good role model on here thank you.
+Dragon Girl Hi sweety, you need to keep hydrated and try to get a little exercise. Little walks here and there. It's important for oxygen to flow in your body. But don't be scared to relax and rest. Things will get better when radiation ends. Good luck xo
My surgeon said that to me. I had a boob job 10 years ago. I was diagnosed with breast cancer. He flipped my boob and said "it is time for another boob job anyway. I was horrified.
Omg! Thank you nalie about this video because i have a friend she is my close friend she really hurt my feelings when i said to her my oncology dr.said my breast cancer is treatable but she answered me " you know most drs are not telling the truth but i saidl they are telling the truth if curable or not.what went to my head right away wasi think she dint want me ti be heal and realized she is not a true friend. She always say negative things about cancer so i scared to talk to her on the phone anymore because she is making me more nervous and afraid .
One of the worst comments I have heard so far came from the cancer liaison person at my hospital that told me on my last day of chemo..."that wasn't so bad, was it." I wanted to punch her in the face...but I didn't.
One question that really bothered me when I found out I had cancer was "so are you dying?" I think and thought that is the most disgusting thing a person ever said to me.
I'm incurable, rectal & spread to lungs. There's nothing anyone's ever said to me that's made me feel good or better in any way physically, mentally or emotionally. I know some people do care...... but I don't.
I entertained myself with some of the stupid questions I was& still being asked. I have a brother who asked if my colon cancer was contagious & he works in the medical field! I told him- Yep, it's verrry contagious. You better get checked by a doctor to be sure you weren't infected. He did! I purchased a real hair wig that was the style,color & shoulder length of my hair before I lost all of my hair. About 3 weeks after I lost all of my hair, I wore this wig to a wedding. This same brother, in awe, asked me "Is that your hair?!". I said- Yep. They recently came up with this new pill that can grow your hair back in just one month!- He says: "wooow"
if i cried at all i got acused of being negative and if i didn't stop i wasn't gonna beat my cancer. as if to say all the people died from cancer cuz hey weren't positive? or "if anyone can beat this you can" and "oh your so strong" im not strong the drs did all the work i just had to lay there and let it hurt. and yah the first day back to work and in my first 15 min i get told a coworkers wife died from the same cancer i had. gee thanks. oh and the magical cancer cures..eye roll. being told how negative will affect my chances of survival, as if some how my emotions caused the cancer in the first place? stay positive is just a pat saying and its empty we have every right to feel all our emotions.
I have cancer and my bfs mom is mad at me for not being able to work much. She is like oh I know someone who has cancer and is still working. She told me I was probably the reason her son is getting sick because I have cancer so I may be stressing him out. I also hate how she thinks that cancer is so easy and that I have the "good" cancer to have. Like no. Shh. Everyone is different that has cancer. There is no good cancer to have.
I'm late, but I actually had someone ask me WHAT. I. DID. to GIVE MYSELF CANCER. Like really? When I responded saying that my type of cancer doesn't have any specific causes I got "Well you had to have done something. People don't just get cancer for no reason. You probably didn't eat right when you were younger" as an answer.
My step mother had cancer I didn't know , I was 12 and I came back from Mexico and I told her I had a boyfriend She told me why didn't I talk to the guy I told her because I don't want to connect with him emotionally I'm not that stupid , and she said did you call me stupid , ( my mother and father loved each other and my mother had a big mouth and was very aggressive towards everyone , ) she didn't raise me ! lived with my grandparents till 11 , so I told my step mom well I'm not talking about you but you probably are stupid if you think iam ! Later on that night she told my dad to abused us down there me and my sister , he called my sister dumb , and when he came to me she called me smart , she passed away (drowned ) in a river with my uncle they didn't fine him for 3 day , I got blame so bad my heart attracted my daughter's father that passed away 9 months after her birth , my story keeps going but that's one one the worst things I said , I didn't grow up talking and expressing myself
My daughter once said I wish I had cancer so I could have a pandora bracelet.....my mother gifted me with a bracelet Pandora essence when I had my diagnosis .a my eldest daughter said that I was horrified and shocked
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I went for an MRi recently, I'm halfway through my chemo and I was having a particularly hard day. The MRI tech told me she knew exactly how I felt and what I was going through because... she'd had an ear infection for 3 days.
Thank you for teaching me!!! I might have said "its only hair... it will grow back... there are some lovely chemo scarves and hats!!!" However, I would not like to shave my head!!! Thank you!!!
Waoo
God, I pray for all of the people that are on this page that are suffering with cancer and those who have to be around those who have cancer. Bring an understanding to those who do not understand one another. Bless everyone of us. Heal us and use us in your will. Amen
Jessica D 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️
As very close friend told me not to have a mastectomy because she thought it would make my husband sad and he would leave me. I became utterly shocked at her response and she just said, I'm just trying to help you and make sure your kids have a dad in their lives. WTF!!! worst thing to say ever.
And I've been married for 15yrs. I guess she thought he was just staying around for my boobs.
THATS CRAZYYYY!!!!
i can't believe this... wow! thanks for sharing.
wow what about having no mum
WTF!!! is right! Jeeesh!
After I was diagnosed with breast cancer I watched several videos about cancer on TH-cam but I got depressed by doing this. You are the only one that I still watch all the time. You are awesome and inspiring.
As a someone who has never had a cancer diagnosis, I appreciate this video SO much! I especially appreciate the three things to say - I'll use this. I just want to add, if you learn of someone diagnosed with lung cancer, please do not say, "Did he/she smoke?" It doesn't help to hear that. When my dad was diagnosed I heard that A LOT and my reply became a short, "Why? Would that make him deserve to get cancer?" I understand that smoking causes cancer, but quite honestly asking that does NOT help in any way. Thanks Nalie! You're awesome!
Aww thanks so much for this comment. glad to know this could help!
Good point, Jaime.
My mom had a cancerous tumor on her lung. We both worked during a time when smoking was allowed in stores. As a non smoker, we just had to put up with cigarette smoke.
A family friend had had lung cancer. Of course she didn't deserve that, or was of any help if anyone asked her if she smoked. But everyone knew she smoked a lot so hopefully nobody asked.
I've already gotten a few of these. But what actually hurts the most is the people who say nothing. The friends you thought would be there, but cant handle it. I just keep reminding myself that its their problem, not mine.
That's true... Not everyone is the best at handling these situations xo
True, I had my closest friend tell me my breast cancer was too much drama! Never called or text me, but 2 girls from high school reached out and now we are the best of friends,plus 6 close friends hugged me in love. I had someone with me in the hospital and at home for the first week. Others brought food frozen ready for crock pot. Grocery shop for me. I was lucky for the friends I am so close too
You rock. When I say I'm sorry, it's because you're going through chemo. Chemo is so incredibly hard. Neuropathy, metallic taste, loss of taste, nausea, chemo exhaustion, stomach problems, daily injections, muscle aches, joint pain, crushing headaches, sores in the mouth and hair loss. And then repeated CTs, diagnostic laparoscopy, blood tests and sometimes blood transfusions. But as you said, this is how you're fighting cancer and it's hard and it's scary. On top of that, you get depressed and scared and nobody understands what you're going through. You're friends and family want to be there for you, but it also rips them apart to see you sick. Don't ever forget they love you and will be there for you and you get better. Nothing else matters.Thank you so much for this post. It's amazing and so are you.
I was told that maybe I needed to get right with God, and that maybe this was his way of "getting my attention". Also, I was told that maybe it was because of my unhealthy lifestyle/diet. Either way, I was made to feel like it was my fault and that I had in some way brought it upon myself. :-( By the way, I'm still undergoing radiation for breast cancer. I was diagnosed at 34. I only have 6 more treatments, so I'm very much looking forward to that!!!
+Faithful Servant Thank you for your kind words, for your prayers, and for all your positivity. I believe as you, that everything we are given, good or bad, is for HIS glory and he is always in control. It was very hurtful to hear those things at first, but then i realized that only I know the relationship that I have with God, and that people will always have their own opinions regardless.
Hey Nalie, just wanted to say thank you. I was just diagnosed with stage 3 ovarian cancer a couple of months ago and stumbled on to your videos. I think the worst ones for me is stay positive and it's just hair, it will grow back. I know they all mean well, but it feels like they dismiss my feelings when all I want to do is scream right now. It's ok to be mad, sad, and pissed off.
My friend had the same cancer, and she worked the entire time and never got sick or tired during chemo. You can do the same. This drove me insane. Plus I ended up in the hospital after my first 4 treatments.
THIS is the one I hated the most! LOL Basically saying that if you have cancer you should also be a SUPERWOMAN! F*** THAT! I was just still myself when I had cancer (twice) - happy, sad, angry, scared, tired, hopeful, pissed off, every kind of feeling. And I chose to FEEL MY FEELINGS and BE MYSELF and I think it helped me to move through it, and now that my treatments are over and so far I'm cancer-free (!!!) I can move forward, because I let myself move through the experience as myself, not as some super hero. Cancer is not a competition to prove how amazing you are. You're already amazing, just being yourself.
I can totally relate to this. for me it annoys me every time I tell ppl I have cancer they say to me oh you look so good for someone with cancer. I totally get their good intentions but it just sounds weird.
+lildevil872 Right!!? Like what is someone with cancer supposed to look like? Not all chemo wipes out hair... everyones body is different! I totally get you. Thanks for sharing!
+lildevil872 Right, I flat out say "It's the make up, I feel like crap"
I think part of that relates to TV and the movies. Look at any cancer patients you see on these. Some fall into the "climb every mountain, ford every stream" category" ... the patient is so healed that you can imagine a shining light around them. They run 24-hour marathons, climb out Mt. Everest, etc. But about 95% fall into the more-depressing category. They are depressed, unable to step outside of a doctor's or a medical facility because they are chained to an IV. And oh ... they often die by the end of the show. (Usually, it's a way to permanently write an actor off the show and milk some emotion in the process.)
People pick up on the latter, and think that EVERY cancer patient is like that.
as a cancer patient, some ppl used to tell me how sorry they are for me and also to stay positive...yes i can definitely relate to what you are saying, these things always really annoyed me, I always say do not tell me how should I feel or be unless you are in my shoes
Please dont ask them if it is contagious!!like what the hell!! and if you go to hug them please dont pull away-we wont hurt you!!!This is all very upsetting, also its like people dont want to tell you happy things anymore because you have been diagnosed-we can still be happy for people who have babies,get jobs all that!! We can be happy for you!! Dont do chemo its poison-well a lot of people are here today because they have had chemo so dont tell us please- we are fighting for our life.!! You rock girl and every one is so true!!! Love and hugs.xx
Contagious cancer does exist among certain canine species, what is so insane is that the cancer is all from one original dog that is just spreading. It has not happened for humans and it will probably never happen but if it ever does it would be really easy to contain it
Number 5 seriously enrages me, and I'm all over TH-cam fighting with vloggers who say this and pushing carrot juice diets and cannabis. No. 6. is horrible. Stay positive. I get that a lot, and it even goes as far as psychologists telling me that studies show your thoughts can affect your body (so basically if anything bad happens it's because of your thinking negatively), or people telling you that pain you might feel is in your mind because the doctors gave you the best case scenario.
We have to keep reminding ourselves that people mean well and are simply trying to help. Take what you need and ignore the rest right? xo
Jack FnTwist That’s so sad, people should really think before they speak, we all fall victim of Adam an Eve sins Romans 5: 12-21
I love your videos! I watched them while I was going through my chemo for Hodgkin's lymphoma. The 'im so sorry' is one of the worst that I herd. almost as bad as people pointing and whispering and not even saying anything at all. That actually made me not want to leave the house.
Another thing I hated was when people called it a 'journey'....it's not a vacation to another place, it's a fight for our lives.
love you, and I wish you all the best in your fight!
My deepest condolences to your family Nalie. Thank you for everything & for spreading positivity. God bless 🙏 💜✝️
I agree with you Nalie. One thing that pissed me off, is when they knew i have it then they start to relate stories about people they knew who had this kind of illness too. It hates me because it took me guts to reveal my privacy but these people just treat it lightly. I know theyre making my burden light by comparing me to people who has the same sickness, but please I am the topic of the story here. The moment i reveal it, i need people to just keep quiet and listen and have a little bit of sympathy, and to feel for me and not to divert the topic right away by exchanging stories abt other people. Ive seen a lot of people like these that prefers to talk than to just listen and sympathize.
Nalie, I just got my chemo port taken out! It hurt EVERY...SINGLE...DAY that I had it in me. It served its purpose and I am so happy it is gone! I clapped when you said you had yours out too.
Did people tell you that the port (and hair falling out during chemo) is "your badge of honor"? Those are badges I could do without and...I have to say it...'"BADGES? We don't need no stinkin' badges!" :D
I was so happy when I had my port removed. I was given local and it wasn't pleasant. Still it was a relief to have it taken out. I had a gastric tube I had to feed with for a time too.
I can certainly identify. I am a head and neck cancer survivor. "stay positive" definitely is something we patients should be allowed to decide to do when we feel like it. We have earned the right to own our emotions whatever and whenever they might be. A neighbor of mine said something totally insensitive to me one time. After I had told her the medical team was very optimistic about my prognosis, she said yeah sure. They always tell you that. It always comes back. It's just a matter of time. It may take years but it will return. That's what happened to everyone I know who had it.
This is a great video. I just lost my mom to cancer. It was a nightmare. It was terrible. It's the same way people say terrible things to you with you're grieving like, "you're mom is still there with you.". No, no she's not. It's not the same. That doesn't give me comfort. I would much rather physically have her here.
i was diagnosed with leukimia on feb 2016,my hair was not falling at all,i shaved my head so i look like a cancer patient,cause i was the only person whos hair was not falling😁😂
MIRACLE 123 sameee. During induction phase it fell out only a bit. But then after that it kept falling out now I’m bald :(
Ahhh!! The "stay positive" thing! I just told yesterday to my sister the exact same thing: that I have the right to feel bad now and then while going through chemo and mastectomy and radiotherapy and fighting for my life and that I feel like hitting the person telling me to stay positive when I am feeling down! I know they mean good but if you don't know what to say, better say nothing!
I don't mind if people say "I'm sorry", but it depends HOW they say it. "I'm sorry to hear about this. It sucks. Why don't we go out for a cup of coffee and do a little ______ later? You could probably use a break." (Walking, shopping, etc.) Then GO to the coffee shop. This is in opposition to "I'm sorry", delivered with those pity eyes. SPARE me the pity eyes!
That is the difference.
Hi ,I am indian , ur strong by de way of ur speech. ..my mom undergone masectomy almost 10yrs ....I always fear dis cancer as I am nurse also, but ur speech make me stronger...jesus save us....luv u
No. 8
At least it's not terminal. That you're lucky there's a cure. You're better than others. Like they're telling me I shouldn't be upset. It pisses me off.
My good friend was just diagnosed yesterday with duct carcinoma. I was there when she heard the news. Thank you for this video.
Hi, there are a couple I hate hearing:
your soo Young to have cancer!!!
I've looked online and you should do this and do that etc! after telling someone your diagnosis they then say oh I have this too and telling you there illness!
don't use your mobile or laptop!
and this one is with cancer patients who also have little children, oh he's too young to remember he'll be fine with out you!
ps I think your VERY inspirational and you give me a lot of hope!
That I just have to have the right attitude or enough faith. Like I can will my cancer away. If God doesn't cure me then I guess I either did something wrong and it's my fault or he didn't think I was worth saving. Either way it doesn't make me feel good. Leaving my kids and husband behind sucks! If I could will it away I would.
Coopdizzle R.I.P
please don't said that, we never ever suffer because we are bad or do something wrong, feel blessed to have what you have, if God allow you to have cancer is because you are strong! He love you and no one died febore time, I believe God have the power to cure, you. life is a risk with cancer or not cancer. any body can die for a reason o no reason, things happens, sooner o later we need to die no matter what, if you have kids or husband God will take care them, that's not mean you going to die because the cancer, that I mean is RELAX GOD LOVE YOU AND HE WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU AND YOUR LOVELY FAMILY. is ok to feel angry and guilty but don't blame GOD! HE LOVE U AND NO MATTER WHAT!
you never did anything wrong, because he doesn’t give you earthly punishment. the punishment is to your eternal life, and if he doesn’t spare your earthly life, it just means that he wants to see you sooner! Mark 5:34 says “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be healed from your earthly suffrage.”
"Do you eat a lot of junk food? I heard it can cause cancer." -_-
+Rachele Chaar yupppp heard that one too
No only process food like cheese sausages cause cancer .and some genes
This one! Omg my hairdresser said this exact thing to me. Then all the other hairdressers chimed in about how “ they watched a documentary “. I have never eyerolled so hard in my life.
Oh Nalie, I love watching your videos - and this one had me not knowing whether to laugh or cry!! I finished my chemo 9 months ago and have just booked in for reconstruction. I can relate to every one of those statements. You are truly an inspiration. Thank you 😍
My favorite comment was I had a relative who had a root canal when I was on treatment 3 of AC, so they let me know that they are practically the same thing. I reassured them as someone who had had a root canal they are not the same thing
They say oh your strong you got this, how I act on the outside is not how I feel in the inside
"I was too busy to work out how to put the music on whilst you were having your radiotherapy treatment- I have been run off my feet"
Nalie, of all the things you said, which are valuable, the last three are most important. Most people ask how one is but they don't want to hear the truth. I prefer them not to ask if they don't want to hear the truth but I won't be forced to lie to keep a happy face.
The second one, how can I help, sometimes instead of helping they drive me crazy. One night I had to argue to some friends because I didn't do what they expected me to do; they even accuse me of getting difficult. I told them that nobody was going to decide for me and that their help was to be there, not to think the way I do or be my parent (I'm old enough to do what I please).
And the third, to be there, I can say I lost three friends from the 1994 time because I said I had cancer. One of them answered, I told her that I don't need her to talk about cancer; that's why there are cancer sites, I just needed to be there, I needed their friendship. They went away and I wish them luck; I cannot retain what I don't have. So, dear Nalie, you are right. Thank you. Your insight about this cancer journey are a treasure.
I am scared about the stabbing pain I had when the PS inserted the TE and I have to go on with the final phase of reconstruction (final implants). I think I have capsule contracture with TE, and I am scared that it may happen with the implant.
Aww Maria, your examples are PERFECT! Thank you so much for sharing. I hope your surgery goes well. I love my reconstruction :) Thanks for your kind words xo
Maria Amaro i have had to argue with my sisters because they were doing everything from teaching me what healthy drinks i should drink to wanting to move out of my home where im comfortable and feel safe just so i could be closer to them and it would be easier for them to help me. REALLY! I had to really own my cancer and make them understand that this was not about them and how i could make things easier for them.
"Most people ask how one is but they don't want to hear the truth. "
Been there! And if it's someone who's just an acquaintance and has been annoying- I tell them! just to see the look on their face & their response of- uhhhh . . .
naver say thing that. would hunting people
Maria Amaro. 👎
Thank you for your video it makes me happy and positive I'm going true to my second treatment of quimo therapy I got diagnostic of treple negative cancer on my right breast on March 2020
I have the same like you I was diagnosed in February I have removed my breast now I am going with chemo 17 chemo, Howe are you doing and how are you progressing?
i was diagnosed with liposarcoma last christmas. the most common question i got was "how'd you get it?" i never thought about this question but WOW it made me so upset! all i could really say to that was "i..... don't know.." so glad to have stumbled on your channel.
When I was first diagnosed last year and told people I'd have to have a mastectomy...someone..Im sure out of the goodness of their hearts said, "You're going to have great boobs after the boob job!"
I was dying inside and she said that.
I do have great boobs now..but it's not a boob job. I told someone..I have no boobs to do a job on. They had to recreate mine which now have zero feeling and no nipples. So...no. Not a boob job.
Natalie, I truly hope you are doing well beautiful lady. Prayers coming your way. Thank you for the video...you have made it very clear that being positive is the most important thing a friend can do. HUGS!!!
My bf (now ex) made it more about him, he became the victim of my cancer. When I was scared and angry he took it personal and said I was being "mean to him". He never once attempted to put himself in my shoes and feel empathy. He claimed he didn't know how to feel empathy. When I found out I had further metastasis and mentioned that if it got to a point where nothing was working for me and I was in my final stage I would like to address assisted suicide. He broke up with me over this. When I was on Chemo, he would say "made it thru another day good on you". "you're so strong" I'm without words to describe how alone I feel now.
the accuracy of this video
I appreciate your feelings and what you think works for you and for others. I hope when I say this, you can appreciate my feelings and what I think works for me and others. I agree with you on many levels of what you said. I also disagree on some levels. I am tired of hearing what everyone should be like and feel like and how we must be positive. No one wants to hear any negative anything. But, wants us to listen to all their negativeness. No one truly cares about anyone anymore. Unless it effects them personally. We have a right to feel as we feel. A right to speak out what we want to speak out about. Just treat us the same as you always did. Those who think they know what it is like for others may be right and may be wrong . It is different for everyone and the experience effects us all individually in different ways. Both physically and emotionally. Responses such as: Be positive, You are lucky to be alive, Everything happens for a reason, Sin is why we have it or it is Karma. Are all lousy things to say to someone and hurtful. These are what I hate hearing. Because life has totally changed and not for the better. It takes everything from you. Including people. You become alone if you don't do the treatment a doctor wants you to do. There is no support. Unless you get it from someone you know. Because we often don't appear to be dying. We are called lyres and that we make it up. From those who are suppose to love us and those we don't even know. It makes us targets. Telling someone what works for ones self is what we need to say. (or what I have chosen and works for me) Giving all choices available to all in order to survive. Respect the choice we each make. Don't push us into what you/I think is best. All these topics are issues that we all deal with. Some have a support system. Others don't. I like and dislike this video. You spoke for us all. It is how you feel. I appreciate any advice anyone wants to tell me. Knowledge is good. Your feeling are real. Mine are too. I have fought cancer since I was 17 years old. I am soon to be 60. I chose to not do chemo or the rest they wanted me to do. I was dying their way. I am alive my way. That is the proof. I do not want to say your way is not good. It is what you feel is best for you. I do what I feel is best for me. Those who tell you alternatives want to help save you. Doctors are there to make money for hospitals. Proof was out there and has been suppressed legally in order to make money off us. Those are facts that doctors have come forward about. 92% of doctors will not do chemo. That should tell you something. I pray you stay well. All those who have, may have and do not have and never will have; be well and God bless you all.
I think she meant what the person wants to do should be left completely up to them. They are the one with cancer so they should make the choice. I think what she meant was someone who doesn’t have cancer shouldn’t be telling someone with cancer how they should go about their journey. For someone to butt into how your dealing with it and say “ well I don’t think you should do that I think you should do xyz” is very rude because it’s that persons cancer and that persons decision, and just because you think it’s best doesn’t mean it is. That’s what I thought she meant but that’s just my opinion. I’m a cancer patient too btw lol.
OMG I have never seen someone so beautiful and adorable and personable and lovely and so kind...you have the sweetest personality ever.
My sister said she researched my tnbc & it wasnt that bad. REALLY???
omg...
+NalieAgustin A friend of mine had cancer but died from it and I told him at one time, 'you look good.' Boy was he upset with me. I felt really bad about it and tried to say I was sorry but I don't think he accepted it.
Aww don't feel bad. Everyone is different. The importance as mentioned in the video is the intention. Deep down inside your friend knew that you were trying to do good and thats all that matters
Hi Natalie..love your name that's my Grand babies name also. Had my lumpectomy on Friday. Was so scared. Came across your website you are truly a Angel!! Waiting to hear my Pathology report...I'm nrevous! I agree people really say crazy things to me lately about my Cancer. I'm a Cashier at a Grocery Store.
When someone is having pre-cancer diagnosis pains, don’t say, “I’m sure it’s nothing.” The future patient has a brain that knows when something is wrong with its system of which is the total body.
I have cancer right now and I agree with all of these things
My Gp told me not to worry if my cancer comes back because my kids aren't that young and they will be fine. Umm I'm only 34 and my kids are 6 & 11, of course I'm worried.
It hurt me so bad. When my oldest daughter called me. And said mom How long are you going to live. And I said what? And she said when do you think your going to die? Mind you I had not too long ago found out I had cancer. Had surgery went through a coma they said I wasn't going to make it. So when she said that. It took everything I had in me not to go off and lock up her. I just said, I don't know why? And she said I was just asking. I thought that was so wrong. And it hurt like hell.
Thank you for this. Most of us are so ignorant about the appropriate thing to say in a lot of situations.
my mu died of breast cancer last year and one day she went to the ATM and people were laughing at her because she was bald and i went out of my mind to defend my mother and completely yelled at all 3 teens about 16-17 i was 10 they left they just thought my mu shaved her head for no reason not coz she had cancer let me tell u they felt pretty damn bad after i told them it was cancer. after se died my dad got cancer he went on chemo for 9 weeks and he had 90% of it going he had a CT scan and we found out today its completely gone!
Hey. I also have cancer. Long story short, my body couldn't take anymore radiation or chemo so now I'm on cannabis Oil yes. I'm with you on the stupid comments people say :) I'm a whole new care a damn about the NORMAL world around me :) God said to me, if I do hospital treatment im gonna die so this is my hustle nw and I help people :) He opened my eyes to see what cancer patients go through. I never cared till I actually got it 3 times already
I am a cancer survivor and giiirrl you are right about what to say and not say. I had a coworker tell me "ohhhh I wouldn't have shaved my hair off" I told her that I'M TAKING CONTROL OF THIS CA. AND I WILL DECIDE WHEN I GO BALD NOT THE CA.
I hate being told "you have to fight this" really... How do you fight something you can't see. Yes, you can follow the treatment plan your oncologist suggests but "you have to fight".
Also... "at least you're getting treatment". What really angers me is "stay positive". I'm kinda the person who prefers to think and research the worst and anything else is a bonus. I totally convinced myself it was nothing to stay "positive" and broke down hearing the news.
Boi! I touch on a lot things i get frustrated about too. I going though that journey now and the one i hate is "oh i am so sorry" i now just dont say i have breast cancer. Thanks for the video
oh, kid, I love you
what an inspiration and positive attitude
In good health
+i Zerby Thank you so much!
My favorite is someone has to tell you about their family member who died a horrible cancer death. Thanks as a RN i know that, plus my mom died of breast cancer Mets. Close friends who were with me could joke about a boob job. But someone I hardly knew made me angry.
That’s right young lady, about right, about the hair, hair are the beauty of a woman, an a man, no one don’t want to be bald
Nalie Agustin thank you so much you helped me to find a way to talk with my crush ( she got cancer ) i realy appreciate your work !! :)
Im glad!!! :) thank you
Thank you, Nalie, for sharing this info very honest and helpful for cancer patients and all people involved through the journey.
Qué gran mujer fuiste Nalie ! Gracias por tanto !!
My best friend got diagnosed with cancer on sunday😭♥️ he has special needs😭😭♥️
Sorry
I have stage two papillary carcinoma. I've had people tell me things like oh you are so lucky cuz its the good cancer or waving it off like I have a cold or something. It's quite upsetting. Cancer is cancer, people. 🤦♀️
I had to have my whole thyroid taken out and I have been having issues since. Just recently spent 2 days in the hospital because of low calcium levels plus other levels that were incredibly messed up. Good cancer my ass!
Nali,e youa re very lucky to have a man like Vee in your life. He is very supportive no matter what happens.
you are just great and i wanted to make sure you will be on the earth for as least i am here...agree?
Te amo fuerte amiga!! Besos desde Argentina! I was told all of the above and some more... LOL I guess stupidity is global. I'm so happy to have you. Thank you!
LOL. Unfortunately it's everywhere :P
oh nalie.. you've just popped up.. you are so missed!❤
"Hey, but you don't look sick". Huh, ok... well I am.
YYYYYAAAAAASSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All those things are so much worse when you are terminal!!
+Coopdizzle Swear... i thought of you the whole time I made this video!!! Inspired by many of your FB statuses. Thanks for being so open! xo
Nalie Agustin Love you for that! I know people mean well, it's just hard sometimes. Love you for all that you do! Wish we could meet!!
Here are my two contributions: 1. You're so strong/brave/positive 2. I could never do that. They're usually said together, and I know they come from a good place but I haaaate them. I'm not strong or brave just because I choose to continue to exist. As for positive...well, what's my other option? Crying all the time? Really, I've got two choices here. I can either cry all day and just give up or I can choose to move forward. Either way, I still have cancer. I'd rather choose to be positive. That doesn't mean I don't cry or I'm not angry, I just don't share those moments with most people. As for the "I could never do that" Yes...yes you could. Because you'd have no choice. If people could simply choose to not have cancer...no one would keep their cancer. It's meant to build people up, be an expression of how resilient and strong they think you are, but it's actually really insulting because I would not be doing this if I didn't have to. Don't get me wrong, I've definitely said stuff like this before. With my sister in law's cancer, I definitely told her I shouldn't be allowed to complain about my small problems because hers were worse. When I got cancer myself, I finally understood. My problems don't negate yours. Pain is pain and life is hard for everyone, just in different ways. RIP sweet Nalie
I have stage 4 cancer and people say the same things to me. However, I don't get offended because I know that they are coming from a place of compassion and kindness. To be honest, I think that too many people with cancer are snowflakes, and they take offence where none is intended.
@@Anna-JadeAgreed completely. I also have stage 4! It was a doozy to find out.
Hi. I like your videos and I totally relate to this one. I have heard all 7 things, and the saddest one is when someone said.... people die of cancer, and Im like ..yes people die but not all of them. That pissed me off. Im a cancer patient.
I am I cancer and this girl has some facts
I had shared this. I wish you had it on facebook so I could share it larger than life. I face my family this Christmas. I have chosen not to do chemo. I feel it does not work and is unnecessary for my situation. I am an RN. I do know things. I feel they are trying to over treatment my stage 0 in situ. There is no evidence that it ever will metastasize. I have no node involvement. Yet the want to hit me with chemo, radiation. Rediculous. If in time that changes. I will make different decisions. I have risk factors that would make chemo kill me. If mine were at your stage I would have made different decisions. It is my decision. I am hoping my family respects that. FYI I have been misdiagnosed 3 times. I am going to slow down. This has been going on since I was 15. Good luck. I am older at 49. But my doctors say you are so young. I have to remind them of my age. Lol. I have aged well so far.
I'm in surviver clinic. For leaukimia. I'm 10 but I totally agree with you
“That Coca Cola will kill you.” I’ll work w my oncologist on that, but thank you! For now, it decreases a huge culprit, anxiety. Anxiety may be even more harmful than the Coke. Yes cancer cells need sugar for energy..... like all cells in the body, but sugar doesn’t make can er grow faster. However, unlike cells of the body, cancer doesn’t like ketones for energy. So it’s taught and documented that a ketogenic diet can help keep the body fueled w ketones and starve cancer of sugar.... which it needs to survive and grow.
I've watched just about all of your videos. I just want to say you are a very beautiful, courageous and lovely soul. I've recommended your TH-cam channel to a friend who has cancer. I hope seeing how strong and brave you were let's her know she can survive as well. Stay strong and positive. Sending my love and prayers.
Hi Nalie I love watching your TH-cam as a guidance to get me thru my difficult times thru breast cancer I'm only on day 3 of radiation and I'm super tired even after naps can you give me any advice to get me thru the end. U make a good role model on here thank you.
+Dragon Girl Hi sweety, you need to keep hydrated and try to get a little exercise. Little walks here and there. It's important for oxygen to flow in your body. But don't be scared to relax and rest. Things will get better when radiation ends. Good luck xo
My surgeon said that to me. I had a boob job 10 years ago. I was diagnosed with breast cancer. He flipped my boob and said "it is time for another boob job anyway. I was horrified.
Glenda Kay wow
Omg! Thank you nalie about this video because i have a friend she is my close friend she really hurt my feelings when i said to her my oncology dr.said my breast cancer is treatable but she answered me " you know most drs are not telling the truth but i saidl they are telling the truth if curable or not.what went to my head right away wasi think she dint want me ti be heal and realized she is not a true friend. She always say negative things about cancer so i scared to talk to her on the phone anymore because she is making me more nervous and afraid .
Btw I absolutely love you! You are the most upbeat inspirational people ever!
Ooohhh... Number 5 @5:15 REALLY pissed me off when people said that to me! It freakin worked! I HATED it but, it did kill the cancer!
What a beautiful inspirational cool chick a breath of fresh air. God Bless You x
Great...i wish this message goes to the whole world..
how are you today nalie?wish you well by now,i hv lump in my breast ,going to do my biopsy this friday..feel nervous and scare ..
Very well thank you! Hope your biopsy results were ok?
Sometimes we just want to cry & scream, but no one wants "us" to do that. I really wanted to have the big cry, but not alone😟
You need to find that one person you can have the big cry with!!! sometimes a cancer sister is the best one to understand
One of the worst comments I have heard so far came from the cancer liaison person at my hospital that told me on my last day of chemo..."that wasn't so bad, was it." I wanted to punch her in the face...but I didn't.
Thanks, girl for making this video. Recently made one similar myself. Xoxo. Blessings to you!
Miss you, Nalie!
One question that really bothered me when I found out I had cancer was "so are you dying?" I think and thought that is the most disgusting thing a person ever said to me.
I'm incurable, rectal & spread to lungs. There's nothing anyone's ever said to me that's made me feel good or better in any way physically, mentally or emotionally.
I know some people do care...... but I don't.
I entertained myself with some of the stupid questions I was& still being asked.
I have a brother who asked if my colon cancer was contagious & he works in the medical field! I told him- Yep, it's verrry contagious. You better get checked by a doctor to be sure you weren't infected. He did!
I purchased a real hair wig that was the style,color & shoulder length of my hair before I lost all of my hair. About 3 weeks after I lost all of my hair, I wore this wig to a wedding. This same brother, in awe, asked me "Is that your hair?!". I said- Yep. They recently came up with this new pill that can grow your hair back in just one month!- He says: "wooow"
You are amazing. You are in my thoughts.
if i cried at all i got acused of being negative and if i didn't stop i wasn't gonna beat my cancer. as if to say all the people died from cancer cuz hey weren't positive? or "if anyone can beat this you can" and "oh your so strong" im not strong the drs did all the work i just had to lay there and let it hurt. and yah the first day back to work and in my first 15 min i get told a coworkers wife died from the same cancer i had. gee thanks. oh and the magical cancer cures..eye roll. being told how negative will affect my chances of survival, as if some how my emotions caused the cancer in the first place? stay positive is just a pat saying and its empty we have every right to feel all our emotions.
I have cancer and my bfs mom is mad at me for not being able to work much. She is like oh I know someone who has cancer and is still working. She told me I was probably the reason her son is getting sick because I have cancer so I may be stressing him out. I also hate how she thinks that cancer is so easy and that I have the "good" cancer to have. Like no. Shh. Everyone is different that has cancer. There is no good cancer to have.
"so you choose to go bald? who was the person who agreed to do this to you" my doctor..... there is no limit on what people say sometimes
How about.."Wow..you look great..you don't look like you have Cancer ". I am Stage 4 mestastized Breast Cancer.
I had a person say #2 to me and thought to myself. "Why did she just say that" OMG was not uplifting to me at all.
This is a good awareness to know.
Thoughts of love and prayers for yiu💜🌸💜
I'm late, but I actually had someone ask me WHAT. I. DID. to GIVE MYSELF CANCER. Like really? When I responded saying that my type of cancer doesn't have any specific causes I got "Well you had to have done something. People don't just get cancer for no reason. You probably didn't eat right when you were younger" as an answer.
My step mother had cancer I didn't know , I was 12 and I came back from Mexico and I told her I had a boyfriend
She told me why didn't I talk to the guy I told her because I don't want to connect with him emotionally I'm not that stupid , and she said did you call me stupid , ( my mother and father loved each other and my mother had a big mouth and was very aggressive towards everyone , ) she didn't raise me ! lived with my grandparents till 11 , so I told my step mom well I'm not talking about you but you probably are stupid if you think iam ! Later on that night she told my dad to abused us down there me and my sister , he called my sister dumb , and when he came to me she called me smart , she passed away (drowned ) in a river with my uncle they didn't fine him for 3 day , I got blame so bad my heart attracted my daughter's father that passed away 9 months after her birth , my story keeps going but that's one one the worst things I said , I didn't grow up talking and expressing myself
My daughter once said I wish I had cancer so I could have a pandora bracelet.....my mother gifted me with a bracelet Pandora essence when I had my diagnosis .a my eldest daughter said that I was horrified and shocked