What helped me to not go back to that toxic and abusive relationship was I journaled and wrote down everything abusive that happened in the relationship so that when I had a weak moment I could go back and remind myself this is why I left.
Im going to try that. I need reminders of why it ended and the reasons it didn't work and will never work. In my moments of weakness I can refer to my notes and NOT make that call
Excellent! I did the same. Hundreds of pages of her trash talk and terrible Behavior. The book is close to me so I can read it anytime i may feel weak. Mine is not like journal. It's more like a police report that describes what happened, etc. I gave it to my attorney when I filed for divorce. :)
I’ve done the opposite. I unloaded a toxic marriage during this time of strife and fear. Having to be quarantined with an abusive husband would have been absolutely horrible.
Ashley Berges thank you so much for asking. Doing quite well! Can breathe and at peace. I hope you and your family are well and staying happy and healthy.
Veronica...good for you! We all know what it takes to move on. What’s your happiest moment since then? Sometimes it’s the simplest moments right? Sending you love and joy in the real moments of loving who you are! From another women to you🌹
I always went back to every toxic and abusive relationship until I took mentally sick I had to literally restart my life I felt that loneliness was something to be ashamed of . I started to learn Spanish online I also joined a music for beginners class to learn how to play the ukulele these distraction have not only learned me new skills they have shown me that what I was lacking in my life was self worth and belief my life has been turned around because I believe in myself .
This Corona is such a blessing in disguise,it is and it will teach the world a valuable lesson...for me it is gratitude and solitude for more,It is time for me to heal and get rid of toxicity even mine, I am so aware of it and it is not late to better myself and yourself too💫💖
Totally agree! Good perspective. We all have work to do. Often the toxicity (disfunction) we see in someone else is easy to see, more difficult to see our own. Love your perspective. Thank you for commenting.
Thank you Ashley. I can't thank you enough about how much your videos about bpd, codependency and toxic relationship helped me these days. My long d bpd ex broke up with me a month ago bc I couldn't visit her during this time (she has been in the devaluation stage for a couple months). It's the 30ish th breakup she has initiated and I have already been aware of the toxic pattern so I accepted it. She was so certain about the breakup at first but after a few days she started giving me breadcrumbs saying that she was depressed and lonely bc of the quarentine, and lashed out on me bc I chose not to be responsivr. Last week she threatened suicide out of nowhere, so I called her mom and then called the police. My ex was so angry that she claimed that I betrayed her love and trust. I still love her but I am out of this chaos. She has to see therapy and I have to deal with my codependency and the savior complex (she has a lot of past traumas and I spent almost all my energy trying to give her love and security)
I love you! Thank you for this video! My friend and I are both going through breaking away from toxic relationship and trying to work on ourselves. We will be watching this together tonight.
New to narcissistic universe. 70yr male living rural west. TH-cam my nearest companion during virus. (Not complaining) Ashley you see the problem and explain it well. Today I sidestepped a phoned-in love bomb, maneuvered around her manipulating conversation, speaking fewer words than she, but enthusiastically fluffing her - commending her efforts during covid19. She hung up feeling good, and I dodged the drama. Know it won't work long term, but I'm better equipped.
It's a good start, it helps with emotionally distancing yourself. How will you continue in the process? Perhaps the next time she calls or text you may employ more grey rock type techniques?
I bought a self discovery journal.. weekly therapy, and I've been watching videos like these!!! I am in control of MYSELF.. and your correct i did find him and he found me.. i am in control.. and my life has been a roller coaster and my self worth wasn't full when we met.. i am so hopeful and i know i can do this. As a 26yr old single mother business owner and who has left a real bad relationship when i was 20 (my son's dad) i knowww i can and will break free. I've been digging deep within my past childhood trauma despite how triggering it is with my therapist and Journaling. I hold onto this fairytale of this relationship with this man and I'm unsure why.. 2020 was a real hard year and i made myself a promise for 2021 to be my best self and to not allow toxic soul's so close to where they effect my daily life and emotions but i messed up and it's been bad. Better than before he seems more engaged but i need to wake the fudge up.. this isn't healthy. Screaming to be heard, being mean to just get stupid attention and being childish over a man who has really caused issues isn't what my journey is!!! I do know that but yet i allow him to suck me back in.. thank you for this video I've watched it twice now and you are very helpful.. I just want to focus on my child and be my best self. I dont want to be manic or have my cell in my hands when its my son's time arguing and text war type battle with this man but i get so worked up and would rather have bad conversations than none with him because yes i am lonely and bored even so i have my best friend with me daily, my son i am lonely for that connection, love and adult energy.. but im searching in the wrong places i need to search from within and heal and learn about myself before i can attract those positive beautifully loud bright vibration energy souls in.. it's really hard, but if it wasn't hard it probably isn't work/self work. From just this past summer to now i am stronger, i would of just gone on a tantrum but instead i wrote and watched this. Sorry for such long comments
@@LifecoachAshleyBerges happy to be here. I'm on my healing journey.. broke up with my last ex narc a month ago (second time), and I'm really struggling to get him out of my mind, that's why I found so helpful your video
@@nuriamolina5544 The breakup is challenging but more challenging is getting over them and out of your mind. I have a lot of videos on overcoming the breakup, focusing back on yourself, and building yourself back up.
Malignant Narcissism is far worse than Covid19...……...and I've experienced both in my life. Year four recovering from a Cluster B. I've experience many years of abuse and manipulation. Day 38 recovering from Covid 19. I was only in bed for three days; the rest was incubation and recovery.
Thanks so much love this I'm in lock down getting the silent treatment but I am so glad as I have been working on myself and loving it... I'm so over this and definitely getting a divorce asap 8 years married but realized 3 years ago that I am codependent starting standing up for myself and he didn't like the new me I'm 99.9%sure he is a covert narc
I've been with the same toxic man for the past 7 years. We are on and off so much that nobody listens to us anymore, such as friends and family. We both can't seem to completely let go of one another. We are stuck in a rut.
Ashley Berges not too bad, all the narcissists are hoovering.....I get texts & even a phone call in the early morning hours.....now looking back that should be a trait......texts & calls b4 8am! Always ❤️ your videos, thanks for all you do 💙
My ex lives across the road from me.. he has relapsed a few months ago. He lied endlessly about basically anything.. abandoned me for booze and girls on the internet.. I was with him for a year almost and it got really bad. I would lash out because he just wasn't listening and i felt stuck and hopeless, all i want/wanted was love.. and to be and give my love.. i cant look out my house windows without seeing.his apartment and his windows.. we split in july after we got physically and arguing and than i took him back months later, a week later he is using and being sketchy with girls and lying... guilting me as i guilt him. He is bringing out my WORST SELF.. recently the last few weeks i.let him back in. I have a 6yr old son who has seen such love from this man amd we do so good together but only for a short time and than that toxic cycle happens AGAIN AND AGAIN. I know i am stronger and deeply can free myself but its so hard, he is someone i love with all my soul. Its becoming so bad its making me manic.. this.mornig he blocked me because i was upset he had a drug selling dude over whom he was buying from just a month ago. I am 8yrs sober and im not sure what or why i started seeing someone who was activity using when we met. I feel dumb, manic, lonely... thanks for this video. It feels good to vent
I suspected my husband always texting a lady on his phone We’ve been married for 18 years, we’ve both been happy together until recently when he switched side and I found out he has been cheating .I explained my story to a colleague at work then she introduced me to this genuine hacker, Darkwebprohacker who gave me access to his phone , I had complete access to his phone right on my own device and I could see all his activities for the past 2 years and also have access to new notifications, his text messages, Facebook messages,location, call logs, and I found out my husband was also flirting on dating sites..I love my husband a lot and I still don’t understand why he betrayed me , I have been a good hardworking wife and never for once cheated on him. I tracked him down and found out he was always going to sleep in another woman’s house with me thinking my husband is always at work for night shift. You can contact this great hacker who helped me found out the truth about my husband at darkwebprohack(at)gmail com or Whats app +19087998357 or text and call them directly on the same number.They helped me get access into his phone without even touching his phone.I have enough evidence against my husband and I am thinking of Filing for divorce.I want advice if I should give him another chance or let go? We have 2 kids together it's a painful feeling but I believe things happen in life it comes as it goes, as it says what doesn't kills makes you stronger. ....
Really I went back to my ex so many time to make it good but after two days get back she always has something to say to me. I tried my best to make it better but that thing always goes to pass like seriously we talked about so many times please stop but it turned into argument then she starts bringing family cursing me out. Yes it was Horrible
She and I have known each other for 2 years, but it is only now that we tried and started dating, we were always fine, we talked about everything, and we thought about the future, it was an intense love and full of life, but the toxic ex boyfriend came to talk to she and she went back to him, i knew she loved him but i saw that she was moving on and wanted to be with me. He told me it was going to be different this time with him, knowing that they have already ended and returned several times over the course of 2 years, and yet he came back again, what can I do to help her?
My ex was very controlling/jealous and then out of nowhere he ghosted me for six months so I was obviously angry but sad cause I missed him and he contacted me last month. I got back with him a week ago, everything is just easier with him even if he has his issues
Omg Your so Awesome My x Narck is a Corections Officer She hooked me with the wildest sex and was like my goddes As time went on the devaluing And lies treating stuff I can't even type I'm a big Contractor She threatened to go to all my customers and say I rip people off She screamed it on a job the owners weren't there You naled it in everything you said Iv gone with 10 other great nice girls She gets me to go back with her I'm with her now And she's killing me I put a protection order on her Saw her in between she goes I'm gonna drag you down so bad to Like with lies I stopped the order She scares me to death Thank you for your video Do uou do 1x1 Sessions zoom meeting? Thank you for your time Dan
Dan, I do work with clients -I appreciate you reaching out to me. You can book directly online at this link: www.ashleyberges.com/coaching-sessions/ I'm looking forward to working with you- I can help.
What helped me to not go back to that toxic and abusive relationship was I journaled and wrote down everything abusive that happened in the relationship so that when I had a weak moment I could go back and remind myself this is why I left.
That works! I’ve done that. I need to journal again. My ex gaslighter has kept me so confused.
Im going to try that. I need reminders of why it ended and the reasons it didn't work and will never work. In my moments of weakness I can refer to my notes and NOT make that call
Excellent! I did the same. Hundreds of pages of her trash talk and terrible Behavior. The book is close to me so I can read it anytime i may feel weak. Mine is not like journal. It's more like a police report that describes what happened, etc. I gave it to my attorney when I filed for divorce. :)
Very good point Becky.
Thank you for sharing
I’ve done the opposite. I unloaded a toxic marriage during this time of strife and fear. Having to be quarantined with an abusive husband would have been absolutely horrible.
Good work Veronica, how are you doing?
Ashley Berges thank you so much for asking. Doing quite well! Can breathe and at peace. I hope you and your family are well and staying happy and healthy.
Veronica...good for you! We all know what it takes to move on. What’s your happiest moment since then? Sometimes it’s the simplest moments right? Sending you love and joy in the real moments of loving who you are! From another women to you🌹
@@veronicamascaro3041. Wow, that's inspirational. I hope you are doing well now
I spent 4 years alone just by myself in my house. It's amazing feeling. I love being alone , and love myself. Why waste time on others?
Hello how are you doing,text him for relationship issues.,,🎰he help me get ex of seven years within two day🚩🐥🌾💨☔
➕12086496208⏯⏯⏯????
±12086496208⏯⏯⏯
Mssg him on Whatspp for help.....
I always went back to every toxic and abusive relationship until I took mentally sick I had to literally restart my life I felt that loneliness was something to be ashamed of . I started to learn Spanish online I also joined a music for beginners class to learn how to play the ukulele these distraction have not only learned me new skills they have shown me that what I was lacking in my life was self worth and belief my life has been turned around because I believe in myself .
This Corona is such a blessing in disguise,it is and it will teach the world a valuable lesson...for me it is gratitude and solitude for more,It is time for me to heal and get rid of toxicity even mine, I am so aware of it and it is not late to better myself and yourself too💫💖
Totally agree! Good perspective. We all have work to do. Often the toxicity (disfunction) we see in someone else is easy to see, more difficult to see our own. Love your perspective. Thank you for commenting.
Thank you Ashley. I can't thank you enough about how much your videos about bpd, codependency and toxic relationship helped me these days.
My long d bpd ex broke up with me a month ago bc I couldn't visit her during this time (she has been in the devaluation stage for a couple months). It's the 30ish th breakup she has initiated and I have already been aware of the toxic pattern so I accepted it. She was so certain about the breakup at first but after a few days she started giving me breadcrumbs saying that she was depressed and lonely bc of the quarentine, and lashed out on me bc I chose not to be responsivr. Last week she threatened suicide out of nowhere, so I called her mom and then called the police. My ex was so angry that she claimed that I betrayed her love and trust.
I still love her but I am out of this chaos. She has to see therapy and I have to deal with my codependency and the savior complex (she has a lot of past traumas and I spent almost all my energy trying to give her love and security)
I love you! Thank you for this video! My friend and I are both going through breaking away from toxic relationship and trying to work on ourselves. We will be watching this together tonight.
Really love this video! Thank you and everyone be safe in this time.
Thank you for clearing my mind and helping me. Means a lot!!
New to narcissistic universe. 70yr male living rural west. TH-cam my nearest companion during virus. (Not complaining) Ashley you see the problem and explain it well. Today I sidestepped a phoned-in love bomb, maneuvered around her manipulating conversation, speaking fewer words than she, but enthusiastically fluffing her - commending her efforts during covid19. She hung up feeling good, and I dodged the drama. Know it won't work long term, but I'm better equipped.
It's a good start, it helps with emotionally distancing yourself. How will you continue in the process? Perhaps the next time she calls or text you may employ more grey rock type techniques?
Eloquent writing! Mahalo and Congrats
After yesterday, how she disrespected and how she treated me smh! I’m done! It’s been two years of the same thing and this video is so on point!
Me. Berges; you are amazing. Thank you for everything. I am suffering greatly but, somehow your clarification makes it all bearable.
I bought a self discovery journal.. weekly therapy, and I've been watching videos like these!!! I am in control of MYSELF.. and your correct i did find him and he found me.. i am in control.. and my life has been a roller coaster and my self worth wasn't full when we met.. i am so hopeful and i know i can do this. As a 26yr old single mother business owner and who has left a real bad relationship when i was 20 (my son's dad) i knowww i can and will break free. I've been digging deep within my past childhood trauma despite how triggering it is with my therapist and Journaling. I hold onto this fairytale of this relationship with this man and I'm unsure why.. 2020 was a real hard year and i made myself a promise for 2021 to be my best self and to not allow toxic soul's so close to where they effect my daily life and emotions but i messed up and it's been bad. Better than before he seems more engaged but i need to wake the fudge up.. this isn't healthy. Screaming to be heard, being mean to just get stupid attention and being childish over a man who has really caused issues isn't what my journey is!!! I do know that but yet i allow him to suck me back in.. thank you for this video I've watched it twice now and you are very helpful.. I just want to focus on my child and be my best self. I dont want to be manic or have my cell in my hands when its my son's time arguing and text war type battle with this man but i get so worked up and would rather have bad conversations than none with him because yes i am lonely and bored even so i have my best friend with me daily, my son i am lonely for that connection, love and adult energy.. but im searching in the wrong places i need to search from within and heal and learn about myself before i can attract those positive beautifully loud bright vibration energy souls in.. it's really hard, but if it wasn't hard it probably isn't work/self work. From just this past summer to now i am stronger, i would of just gone on a tantrum but instead i wrote and watched this. Sorry for such long comments
Loved your boldness. Will come back to listening to this video again. Thanks for sharing!
Glad you're here. I appreciate you. Let me know how you are doing.
@@LifecoachAshleyBerges happy to be here. I'm on my healing journey.. broke up with my last ex narc a month ago (second time), and I'm really struggling to get him out of my mind, that's why I found so helpful your video
@@nuriamolina5544 The breakup is challenging but more challenging is getting over them and out of your mind. I have a lot of videos on overcoming the breakup, focusing back on yourself, and building yourself back up.
Malignant Narcissism is far worse than Covid19...……...and I've experienced both in my life.
Year four recovering from a Cluster B. I've experience many years of abuse and manipulation.
Day 38 recovering from Covid 19. I was only in bed for three days; the rest was incubation and recovery.
*Your hair looks lovely. Thanks!*
You are very wonderful, thank you! Hoping my message finds you well :)
Thank you ashley for sharing this video, really need this now
You are so right!! Thank you so much!!🤗‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
Thanks so much love this I'm in lock down getting the silent treatment but I am so glad as I have been working on myself and loving it... I'm so over this and definitely getting a divorce asap 8 years married but realized 3 years ago that I am codependent starting standing up for myself and he didn't like the new me I'm 99.9%sure he is a covert narc
I've been with the same toxic man for the past 7 years. We are on and off so much that nobody listens to us anymore, such as friends and family. We both can't seem to completely let go of one another. We are stuck in a rut.
How's it going?
Hello how are you doing,text him for relationship issues.,,🎰he help me get ex of seven years within two day🚩🐥🌾💨☔
➕12086496208⏯⏯⏯????
±12086496208⏯⏯⏯
Thank you so much for this beautiful video, Ashley. This was very helpful for me to hear at this moment. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Thank you Ruby, thank you! Hoping my message finds you well!!!
Best advice ever.
Truly thank you ma'am, happy valentines day 💗
Thank you for reaching out Marcel! Thank you for your Valentine's wishes, I hope you are having a great week.
Wow this video have soooo much value
Thank you Joselin, how is your day going so far? Thank you for reaching out.
@@LifecoachAshleyBerges taking your advice and realizing is not the end of the world, but accepting and approving my feelings. ☀️
Awesome… spoke out loud and clearly!
Also i LOVE that you used the word wonky. That's my favorite word haha
Thank you. This was eye opening.
Thank you so much Ashley this was just what I needed
Thank you for this video!
Glad it was helpful!
Yep. I did it. Got the shit kicked out of me emotionally.
Thank you Ashley.....hope you do more videos in weeks to come❣️
I will! More to come...At least one a week if not more! How are you doing?
Ashley Berges not too bad, all the narcissists are hoovering.....I get texts & even a phone call in the early morning hours.....now looking back that should be a trait......texts & calls b4 8am! Always ❤️ your videos, thanks for all you do 💙
My ex lives across the road from me.. he has relapsed a few months ago. He lied endlessly about basically anything.. abandoned me for booze and girls on the internet.. I was with him for a year almost and it got really bad. I would lash out because he just wasn't listening and i felt stuck and hopeless, all i want/wanted was love.. and to be and give my love.. i cant look out my house windows without seeing.his apartment and his windows.. we split in july after we got physically and arguing and than i took him back months later, a week later he is using and being sketchy with girls and lying... guilting me as i guilt him. He is bringing out my WORST SELF.. recently the last few weeks i.let him back in. I have a 6yr old son who has seen such love from this man amd we do so good together but only for a short time and than that toxic cycle happens AGAIN AND AGAIN. I know i am stronger and deeply can free myself but its so hard, he is someone i love with all my soul. Its becoming so bad its making me manic.. this.mornig he blocked me because i was upset he had a drug selling dude over whom he was buying from just a month ago. I am 8yrs sober and im not sure what or why i started seeing someone who was activity using when we met. I feel dumb, manic, lonely... thanks for this video. It feels good to vent
Hello how are you doing,text him for relationship issues.,,🎰he help me get ex of seven years within two day🚩🐥🌾💨☔
➕12086496208⏯⏯⏯????
Mssg him on Whatspp for help.....
You're awesome. Ty for this helpful video:)
Glad it was helpful, you're awesome!
Wow, you're amazing !
I suspected my husband always texting a lady on his phone We’ve been married for 18 years, we’ve both been happy together until recently when he switched side and I found out he has been cheating .I explained my story to a colleague at work then she introduced me to this genuine hacker, Darkwebprohacker who gave me access to his phone , I had complete access to his phone right on my own device and I could see all his activities for the past 2 years and also have access to new notifications, his text messages, Facebook messages,location, call logs, and I found out my husband was also flirting on dating sites..I love my husband a lot and I still don’t understand why he betrayed me , I have been a good hardworking wife and never for once cheated on him. I tracked him down and found out he was always going to sleep in another woman’s house with me thinking my husband is always at work for night shift. You can contact this great hacker who helped me found out the truth about my husband at darkwebprohack(at)gmail com or Whats app +19087998357 or text and call them directly on the same number.They helped me get access into his phone without even touching his phone.I have enough evidence against my husband and I am thinking of Filing for divorce.I want advice if I should give him another chance or let go? We have 2 kids together
it's a painful feeling but I believe things happen in life it comes as it goes, as it says what doesn't kills makes you stronger. ....
Thank you!!!
Hello how are you doing,text him for relationship issues.,,🎰he help me get ex of seven years within two day🚩🐥🌾💨☔
➕12086496208⏯⏯⏯????
±12086496208⏯⏯⏯
Mssg him on Whatspp for help.....
Fantastic
Thank you so much
Hello how are you doing,text him for relationship issues.,,🎰he help me get ex of seven years within two day🚩🐥🌾💨☔
➕12086496208⏯⏯⏯????
±12086496208⏯⏯⏯
Mssg him on Whatspp for help.....
Really I went back to my ex so many time to make it good but after two days get back she always has something to say to me. I tried my best to make it better but that thing always goes to pass like seriously we talked about so many times please stop but it turned into argument then she starts bringing family cursing me out. Yes it was Horrible
She and I have known each other for 2 years, but it is only now that we tried and started dating, we were always fine, we talked about everything, and we thought about the future, it was an intense love and full of life, but the toxic ex boyfriend came to talk to she and she went back to him, i knew she loved him but i saw that she was moving on and wanted to be with me.
He told me it was going to be different this time with him, knowing that they have already ended and returned several times over the course of 2 years, and yet he came back again, what can I do to help her?
My ex was very controlling/jealous and then out of nowhere he ghosted me for six months so I was obviously angry but sad cause I missed him and he contacted me last month. I got back with him a week ago, everything is just easier with him even if he has his issues
Hello how are you doing,text him for relationship issues.,,🎰he help me get ex of seven years within two day🚩🐥🌾💨☔
Mssg him on Whatspp for help.....
➕12086496208⏯⏯⏯????
Yessssss!!!!
FEAR false evidence appearing real!
Omg Your so Awesome
My x Narck is a Corections Officer
She hooked me with the wildest sex and was like my goddes
As time went on the devaluing
And lies treating stuff I can't even type
I'm a big Contractor
She threatened to go to all my customers and say I rip people off
She screamed it on a job the owners weren't there
You naled it in everything you said
Iv gone with 10 other great nice girls
She gets me to go back with her
I'm with her now
And she's killing me
I put a protection order on her
Saw her in between she goes I'm gonna drag you down so bad to
Like with lies
I stopped the order
She scares me to death
Thank you for your video
Do uou do 1x1
Sessions zoom meeting?
Thank you for your time Dan
Dan, I do work with clients -I appreciate you reaching out to me. You can book directly online at this link: www.ashleyberges.com/coaching-sessions/
I'm looking forward to working with you- I can help.