Half in the Bag: Borderlands
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 9 ก.ย. 2024
- Eli Roth made a boom boom. Mike and Jay talks about Borderlands. What a misfire! Odd casting choices. No one want to make. Adult professionals pretend to "care" about characters in video game they never hear of so they can make a check to pay for their yachts and shrimp. The behind the scenes interviews where these clowns pretend to care might be the most cringe rizz eva. Jayme Loins Curtis (daughter of Bill Curtis son of King Arthur of Legend) is so old even Michael Myers is too old to kill her. Even Activa won't eat her old gut rot. She pretends to love and care about her character, Rizzo McPizzo but don't give none sh*ts. Her net worth is 197 million dollars. Why she even work anymore? Just be grandma and let others have roles. Poor Cate Beckenblachett. Is it that hard to find good project? Tar 2: Back to the Tar Pits? You're much better than to play Ronald McDonald's sister. Kevin Hart like cash. We all know that. He sell out super bowl to tell jokes to audience of mongoloid farmers and city-folk who laugh at man on stage. He take role for cash and babbles about how he's learned so much and loved working with other actors, blah blah blah. Hart has over 500 million dollars in his bank now. Little girl who play Tiny Tim cry when she sees Rotten Tomato score. "Am I rotten?" she asks her mommy and daddy. Did I ruin the movie? No. EVERYONE ruin the movie. Especially Eli Roth. Craig Mazin said, "Take my name out you're f**king mouth!" before he slapped this film on live TV. Eli Roth left the set in a jet pack when the filming was done. The second he called action for the first time he realized it was a horrible mistake to cast numerous old ladies in the film who players of this game have never ever heard of. Should have made the cast of TikTok stars or TH-camrs like the clown MrBeast. "What have I done?" he say! I ruined the legacy of this game no one has ever heard of! Whoopsie! Off to shoot Thanksgiving. Maybe making this film was a bad dream? Maybe they fix it in post. Doesn't appear to be so. This movie cost 110 million dollars to make. Sad to think that you could have made 110, one million dollar movies. So many interesting stories and ideas and Borderlands is a result of the old school Hollywood bloat and dinosaur thinking. You could have made 200 million dollars uploading a video to TH-cam called "I tried all the fast foods and guess which one made me sh*t the most" so many people would have watched that. I'd watch that. End the madness. Art is dead.
Hearing Kevin Hart trying to explain his character motivation made me forget my home address.
X xx🎉
It sounded like star wars prequel interviews where natalie portman is trying to describe amidala
Have you ever had a dream that you, um, you had, your, you- you could, you’ll do, you- you wants, you, you could do so, you- you’ll do, you could- you, you want, you want him to do you so much you could do anything?
His motivation is that there's a vault.
@@trinketmage8145 From what little I remember, his motivation is a narrative attached to an agenda of good, and his agenda of good comes from once upon a time being a part of something that wasn't so good
Mike Stoklasa should never have had to dedicate some of what precious little remains of his brain to the characters of Randy Pitchford.
Randdddyyy
Wrong, the trash grows his powers.
This will NOT be good on his dementia.
As miserable as Mike's life might be, at least he isn't Anthony Burch
greasy
Having these dudes watch anything Borderlands related feels like it should count as elderly abuse
Tracks, Borderlands 3 was the equivalent of elder abuse for the original fans of the games.
@@MercurialStaticYou say that as if the humor in 1 and 2 wasn't also pretty bad. 3 just took it to its logical conclusion. Borderlands has always been grating as hell. People who were older in the late 00s and early 2010s were saying such even back then (just look at all the Anthony Burch memes)
@@flank6349the first two are fun though
@@EverlastingAura1 no not really
@@flank6349
Borderlands 2 at least has some running gags and takes itself seriously when it counts
Borderlands 3 has toilet humor as the only long running aspect
They cast boomers in a movie made for zoomers based on a game meant for millennials. Everybody was hurt in the making of this movie.
This has got to be the most accurate description I've seen/heard.
I'm stealing this description
Hm. Yeah, pretty much.
The game is more for older millennial GenX if we go from 1, which was my favorite until they made 2 which bothered to have a plot, better jokes & different weapon balance, from GenX OP8 player who grind’ed every wasted second & is extremely not surprised my favorite game has been utterly shat on by the woke mind virus
@patrickancona1193 I said the game was made for millennials, ya genius.
"...and then Eli Roth came in and said, 'no no no that's too good, let me ruin it.'" Sounds about right lol
You guys LOVE the red letter media guys good grief
@@jasongarcia2140I'm guessing you LOVE this movie by how you've left several comments under this video
This shit had my rolling. Ty for quoting so I didn't have to type it out. 😂
@@jasongarcia2140 Seek professional help.
I put more blame on Randy Pitchford because I read a couple of stuff that the man was heavily involved with it and wanting to make it more of some BS tame thing compared to the games to make it more appealing to a wider audience. which could be likely because he is praising the movie like hell and is fighting with people online who hate the movie and continues to make an ass out of himself in the gaming community but I’m also sure that Eli and the 4 other writers (Roth being included as one of the writers) didn’t help much 😂
In the video game, Roland is the straight man. The only sane man in a zanny wacky world. Casting Kevin Hart as the only straight laced soldier taking the whole story seriously in the entire universe is actual insanity.
Casting the comically small comic actor as the heroic, stone-faced character *and then failing to land the joke lampshading it* is one of the decisions of all time
Exactly! Mike and Jay complain about how the characters I'm the movie aren't funny. Well Roland and Lillith weren't comedic characters. Claptrap's "funny" shtick is that he's annoying and everyone hates him. Tiny Tina is a funny character on the surface, but she basically goes mad after watching her parents get tortured to death by psychos. Oh and she wasn't even IN BORDERLANDS 1. WAS Tanis in BL1? I dont know, havent played BL1, just all the games after it. BL2 is my most played. Either way, Tanis isn't really a comedic character either. Do Brick/Mordecai even get cameos in the movie? Cuz they were the other two playable characters in BL1, which the movie decided to switch them out for TT and Krieg? Is it Krieg or just some random psycho?
@@rjstramTannis first appears in a DLC. She was a Dahl/Atlas scientist, maybe? Idk my brain’s feeling a lil goopy
@@rjstram
Tanis is, by all means, 100% a comedic character, she's basically the deadpan, awkward, mad scientist trope. Haven't played BL3 but in 1/2 there's not a single Tanis scene/dialogue that isn't some sort of joke.
@@rjstram Tannis is actually the funniest character in Borderlands 1. You find her audio logs throughout the game, and you get to hear this neurotic privileged scientist pushed to the brink of insanity as she is surrounded by genuine hardship for the first time mixed with people she considers to be her inferiors. The joke being that she doesn't distinguish between her own superiority complex, and events that are genuinely harrowing.
The irony of there being no discernible art style in the movie when that is actually one of the qualities that defines the games.
That plus the art style of the game was slapped on at the last minute to cover a lack of substance
Cel shaded movie when?
@@oldvlognewtricks And stolen from the short film Codehunters. Bringing us full circle.
@@elathiaskade7311 a full on rotoscoped Borderlands movie would be sick. Or just having more rotoscoping in general.
@@Belgand Yipee! Thanks Randy!!
i forgot Eli Roth and Zachary Quinto were two different people and spent 25 minutes wondering when Mike would mention Star Trek (2009)
I dont catch up on RLM modern movie reviews, and I was shocked to see the guy from inglorious basterds was directing films. Like man, he was so great in american horror story, and that 2008 market crash movie.
My favorite part of every bad movie review is when Mike casually writes a better plot in five minutes.
Where was he when the other guys were producing Space Cop
@@ydoomenaudTo be fair Space Cop is a better movie.
The part of me that loves Cate Blanchett almost wants to see this movie, but I think I'll wait to see if she ever does a Mike Stoklasa movie.
Every Borderlands player can puke out a better movie plot in 3 minutes
@ydoomenaud it's been said countless time but Mike and Rich should've switched roles
“We got Cate Blanchett, the best actor in the world!”
And that’s why I got revered chef Jiro Ono to work at the grill at my Burger King franchise.
You know a video game movie is bad when they can’t even force Rich Evans to talk about it.
Rich Evans even talked about half of the acolyte!
@@JohnGoetzGaming
That’s dedication.
Hearing Mike talk about Borderlands upped Rich Evans' drink intake tenfold.
Rich Evans is dead!
Rich Evans clone still developing for the next episode
"[Eli Roth is] a triple threat - he can’t direct, he can’t write and he can’t act." -- Sergio Mims
💯
lmao
"Borderlands; a Tubi Original movie!"
"This wasn't a Tubi Original. This was released in theaters."
"Oh no..."
some things changed since they started working on it decade ago...
But it will be on Tubi in a year and a half
@@ParticleLarryI don't think so. Tubi has standards. (Proceeds to watch 'Shark Exorcist' on Tubi)
Should have been a Quibi
More like a Syfy original movie
The whole Claptrap joke is that he's stupid and insufferable. I don't think that kind of character translates well into a medium that won't let you shoot him whenever he talks too much
I mean did claptrap translate well into the game? He's just annoying for being annoying
That is why I am happy they chose Jack Black for Claptrap!.
Everyone and everything constantly abuses him, so it kinda evens out.
They also need the original voice from BL1&2
It makes sense in the context of a game, made somewhat for a younger audience a decade and a half ago. For a movie made today, for an audience who remembers those games? It should have been a small role at most, something to tickle the ol' member berries and that's it.
This movie had more elderly people then a redlettermedia video
not even a joke 🤣🤣
You guys are so obsessed with these guys
@@jasongarcia2140we sure do 😂
@@jasongarcia2140 why do you keep repeating that question on multiple comments?
@@jasongarcia2140commenting the same thing on a couple comments? How embarrassing
This feels like the Halo Paramount Plus series where the props department understood the source material way better than the writers ever could.
Every department but the script and big decisions is like "Well I'm doing all I can..."
Halo props sucked too
you mean like the classic UNSC chevy blazer?
@@spookmeyer970😂😂😂
i fuckin guess man that red wig looks horrible
If 90% of the plot isn't conveyed over a walkie talkie while a person loots guns off bandits I'm going to be disappointed.
"Damn varmint tore off my leg and swallowed my best gun! Kill it for me will ya?"
Catch a ride!
Sounds like a better version of the movie.
Read the description lol it's glorious
This is the most accurate comment to date on why this movie would never be good according to fans. Movie audiences will never have the level of trust needed to proceed through a video game tutorial and not say that it sucks.
There’s a high likelihood that more people have seen this RLM video since it came out less than an hour ago than have seen the Bordlerlands movie
They released this video while I was in the theatre watching it
@@jabmaster1000Same, when that hack fraud Rich Evans didn’t appear everyone stood in the theatre and clapped.
didn't even know this movie existed
i’d go so far as to say that Eli Roth will be coming to RLM for a paycheque. the most revenue to come from Borderlands will be the money made from monetizing this HITB.
More people have liked this comment than have seen the borderlands movie. 😂
Hearing Mike and Jay talk about "The Borderlands" helps me understand how Rich Evans felt when his uncle asked him to teach him "The Internets"
His Drunken* Uncle
Aw you love the red letter media guys
I miss prerec
Rich probably had to teach those hacks about "The Borderlands" too
just wait till they hear about randy pitchford's usb drives
I'm glad they said "more movies should have badass gilfs" when they addressed the weird miscasting. Its such a shame that the one time we get an older woman with a gun, she's supposed to be a young adult?? lmao okay 😂😭
Maniac pixie dream gilf
Well I mean that's who Lilith is she ain't no ancient ass older woman like Cate is she's supposed to be like in her early or mid 20s. Seeing Cate Blanchett casted as Lilith from borderlands is just weird as much as casting Kevin hart as Roland is weird.
Malory Archer for example is a downright terrifying character
Kevin Hart is such a strange casting for Roland. Roland in the games is one of the very few "straightman" characters. He is a serious, professional, and honest soldier guy.
He's also more than an inch taller than tina
in the first game he sounds like chris tucker and acts like a joker in the few voicelines he has
but in the borderlands comic book he was really dark and serious so idk why that was a choice for the game
I am convinced that they casted him as a joke. like, if you play the opposite game to cast him you'd get Kevin Heart.
a big, serious, professional white guy
a small, silly, unprofessional black guy
if that was the way they came to that decision I almost respect it.
@@kevboard You're thinking of Axton from the superior, Borderlands 2. He was also a much better class than Roland given the turrets and range of loadouts.
Casting is so weird, they have people playing characters 40 years younger than the actors just to get big names in it
The only casting I'm kinda pleased with was Gina Gershon as Mad Moxxie. Everybody forgets she's literally a 50 something MILF and mom to Scooter and Ellie. "Catch a Ride" indeed!
Which definitely ensured that this movie would be a greater loss than it could have been because these names cost a lot of money.
Big names, or bloated names?
I just looked it up. Cate Blanchett's character is meant to be 21 and she is 55.
I could understand casting someone say 27-28, but not someone in menopause 😂
Let me interpret that for you: "Hollywood did not create any recognisable, universally loved and big names in the last 15 years".
Mike and Jay talking about Borderlands feels like one of those dreams you wake up from halfway through and try to make up the ending for as you lay half awake in bed.
I was not expecting Mike and Jay trying to reverse engineer what the hell Borderlands is based on a nonsensical movie adaptation to be as funny as it was.
ok
Half in the sleeping Bag
Mike's unshakable confidence in the accuracy of his absolutely diabolical British accent is really quite endearing
Also weird because Blanchett isn't British and doesn't have a British accent.
Positively. Hmm. Yes, indeed.
Can’t wait to see the Vault open and our treasure, Rich Evans is inside.
It's a folder containing the never-before-seen photos of Rich Evans' birthday at Showbiz Pizza
@@videogamenostalgia Dicken the birthday boy?
@@111doomerDicken em' down
A recorded over 'Alf' VHS that has never before seen showbiz pizza party footage on it. Mike rewatches it over and over like the zapruder film
They could have given his clothes back at least...
That interview of Kevin Hart grasping at straws trying to describe his character gave me brainrot
Eli Roth syndrome is called.
Brainroth
Kevin Hart plays himself in everything hes in he IS brainrot
Honestly, it's not his fault. Even in the game, Roland was barely a character.
"A soldier with a deployable turret sometimes".
That's about it.
He did his best with nothing.
@@derekeliopoulos2670 Of all the games to adapt, why Borderlands 1? Even the Pre-sequel or the... shit, actually the Telltales Borderlands game would be fantastic to adapt. But Borderlands 1? It had about 1% story, 90% guns and 9% lore building.
My favorite moment behind the scenes is Eli Roth being all excited about the film being gorey and violent, only for Randy Pitchford to immediately shoot it down by telling the camera you'll be able to bring the whole family to see it
Randy "Mysterio" Pitchford strikes again!
Civvie is invoked. The loathing in his voice when he says "Randy....................."
Didn't Randy used to love all that stuff? The games used to be pretty violent and over-the-top, and I believe he was the one who said "we need to bring back awesome characters like Duke Nukem" before he got Gearbox to shit out Duke Nukem Forever.
Bingo!!
@@donnylurch4207now he’s a PC Twitter freak that can’t stop virtue signaling.
"Why do aliases anymore?"
To highlight your disdain for the project. Everyone knew Cordwainer Bird was Harlan Ellison and when he used it, he *wanted* you to know it.
Does that make this the Craig Marzin equivalent of The Starlost?
@@ManOutofTime913 He insisted "Joe Crombie" wasn't him, but that might be an NDA cover-up
Why not just take your name off then
@@forestaysaILYeah sounds like legal obligation to be like "It's not me, I totally didn't just pick an alias so I could quietly remove myself from this shitpile (not my words, wink wink)"
Honestly, using your alias to say “this thing is a piece of shit and I want nothing to do with it” is a genius idea and is something that makes total sense for Ellison considering how spiteful that man could be.
This movie is 10 years too late to ride the game’s success, and it should never have been made in the first place since the story in Borderlands is just background noise.
The weird thing is, the series has some spin-off games that actually have a narrative, characters you’re supposed to care about and even actual jokes, yet they decided to adapt the first mainline game which is basically nothing.
Sometimes I feel these movies are made with the express purpose of bombing at the box office
The extremely competent old Destructoid writer Anthony Birch wrote some great stuff for the original game. Who knows what ended up in the screenplay and recent games?
@@rossz4898 Whenever I think about how I am not Anthony Burch, it brings me relief.
Adapting the first game is such a weird choice because the plot is "go do open vault now go go shoot gun"
The second game at least has a good villain in Handsome Jack and stuff that you could work with
10 years too late with a cast of old people. I really would wanna see what goes on in the heads of these studio executives
I think money laundering via movie is still a thing
"I wanted a movie you felt great at the end of it" - The director of Green Inferno
and Hostel.
Borderlands clearly needed more cannibalism and diarrhea.
To be fair, the same guy directed Schindler’s List and Raiders of the Lost Ark. Eli Roth has never even approached the quality of those movies, but it’s not insane for a director to aim for different tones in different films.
i bet he’d love Salo…
tbf green inferno was a remake and the original has a not so happy ending so it checks out
In fairness, "Psychos show up and there's a lot of shooting" pretty much sums up much of the game.
“Borderlands” is the example of adaptions where the people making it have no idea what they are making.
same kind of crap they are making with the rings of power.
Eli roth has never heard of borderlands in his life and somehow hes the guy they wanted to direct. Its fuckin stupid that any of the people in this movie were brought on.
@@Christopher-po8pt i don't get it why is that the same those are totally different things ?
A LOT of things are examples of that.
@@SgtKaneGunlockbecause it seemed like the people that made it had no knowledge of the lord of the rings..
"Elderly poop yogurt saleswoman" is an incredible line
Sadly, it also sounds like a line striped straight from Borderlands.
@@chasemiller3712
OP walked into that one
Credit to Jamie for playing that up after she got an Oscar nod a few years ago.
@@CinemaMack Correction, Oscar WIN!
Activia is actually pretty great. My colon thanks, Jayme Lynn Cactus.
They didn't skip Madame Web. They covered Madame Web in the best way it could have been covered
they covered it in raw sewage
in cobwebs
They destroyed Madame Web copies too?
@@pedradasbr There were copies of Madame Web?
Ten tons of concrete?
I think this is going to be one of those Half in the Bag episodes that more people have seen than the movie itself.
Considering the ticket sales... You're absolutely correct
I legitimately forgot this movie even existed until this vid popped up.
I totally forgot a Boarderlands movie was being made.
i dont watch movies anymore, i just watch RLM reviews
Woah people watched something for free... woah...
Every time I hear Mike talk about video games, it's like hearing a quantum theorist rationalize anime logic.
I would absolutely love to see a quantum theorist take on something like Chaos;Head, Steins;Gate, or Anonymous;Code
No joke I would love to hear what Stephen King thinks of Umineko no Naku Koro ni
@@haughtygarbage5848
This would go absolutely crazy
@@haughtygarbage5848
That would be insane
I've watched way too many anime that could only be explained by a quantum theorist
I like how they had to get jack black to play claptrap because Randy pitchford assaulted and didn't pay claptraps VA, then he didn't pay the guy who did the cgi for claptrap in the movie.
People keep saying this, but other than the fact that the real reason was because Jack black would get people in the theater, why couldn't they just get claptrap's current VA?
@@HamazuraGOD
Jerk Bland isn't getting anyone in the theaters anymore lol
@@HamazuraGOD Read my comment again, and you may find a slight clue.
@@HamazuraGOD outside of him doing the PewDiePie gaming chair lean a few years ago and cancelling Tenacious D shows has Jack Black been relevant lately?
@@MrLego3160
I said current voice actor. Not first. Zero clues in your comment, buddy. Unless he did the same thing to both of them and I was unaware?
The word Mike is looking for is "Cloutchasing". Eli cast for the names not the roles
This movie's greatest sin was taking a game about shooting revolvers that fire rockets that explode into a cluster of smaller guns that also shoot rockets and then making a pg13 action movie with the most stock gunfights imaginable.
waa waa waa cry harder that a set up to introducing level 1 characters have starting weapons waaa waaaaa so sad
@@loon4830 Have you ever played Borderlands? You can get wacky guns from very early on
though I don't think they cared about being accurate to the games, so it seems very dumb that the one thing they would pick is "we have to use boring guns because the characters are low level"
@@partytrumpet Have YOU ever played Borderland 1? Every other legendary was off the charts insane in Borderlands 3, sure, but in Borderlands 1 you have the Wave, and that's about it.
That first reply, Jesus fucking Christ...
@@loon4830
Randy, stop using alt accounts, you are not fooling everyone.
"The elusive, congealed form of human embarrassment" is one of Randy Pitchford's titles
How greasy is he?
@@larrylaffer3246 As greasy as the bathroom floor at a Medieval Times when his wife makes him kneel down in it to pick up his thumb drive of illegal pornography.
@@larrylaffer3246He is known as Randy the magician, his lineage is supposedly full of them.
One of his most famous magic tricks is making the bonus checks of his overworked workers disappear because the game was a success but not a "overwhelming" one.
@@razcipherff7272 he repeated this iconic magic trick again, he made 100 million dollars disappear with this movie
@@plaguedoctorjamespainshe6009 cant wait for the "unfortunately we at Gearbox have had to downsize our staff by 25% by december"
"They're gonna love seeing Kevin Hart" no one loves seeing Kevin Hart.
IDK I kinda like seeing Kevin Hart. He's not an ultra talented actor but he's harmless enough. Plus since he hasn't gotten himself into any BS I can think of recently, I can't really bring myself to hate the man unlike SOME celebrities I used to like.
@@larrylaffer3246 fair point. I just don't get his appeal.
@@My-cat-is-staring-at-you He's kinda what Chris Tucker or Chris Rock were awhile back. A sidekick actor to stick in your comedy films to have someone to have the lead actor banter off of.
His wife and kids love to see him I’d bet :)
@@gilgamesh795 They can see him for free, we'd have to pay money to watch this travesty.
The only way this movie could have even stood a chance of being decent is if it was in the hands of Paul Verhoeven.
You know what? Yeah, I can see that
Uwe Boll would've elevated this movie. I don't even mean that as a compliment to him. The Borderlands movie is just that bad.
Verhoeven makes everything badass…even Showgirls😂
An Eli Roth movie that’s PG-13 that’s based on an M rated game is a recipe for disaster I didn’t know I wanted.
Got spooked after what they saw on Randy's USB drive
An Eli Roth movie is a recipe for disaster. Period.
@@Largentina. Agree. Can't stand Eli Roth
Don’t forget Lionsgate. If it’s Lionsgate, it’s trash.
@Largentina. Thanksgiving getting all of it's praise despite it being quite unremarkable compared to the short it was based on was miracle within itself. Seems that this movie is here to remind us how shallow of a director he is.
Borderlands 1's plot was very stripped down and objective driven, It was mostly setting and aesthetic that kept you interested. The fact that they didn't adapt Borderlands 2's plot instead I find very strange. Seems like a no brainer to me.
Tales from the Borderlands had one ready-made
Handsome Jack would've been a slam dunk if cast right. Just make him a little less grating.
Because Borderlands 2's plot is just as bad and bare bones except they gave the game's main villain a direct codec to never ever shut the fuck up. Adapting it would be an hour and thirty minutes of nothing but vapid action scenes with whomever they had the misfortune of casting as Jack never shutting up until the audience very graciously died of cringe. Its excusable in the game because at least there is a generally tight and exciting gunplay to help tune out whatever weird sexual impropriety Randy Pitchford thought was funny this week being vomited out of Jack's mouth. But as reality is so graciously proving, any Borderlands movie would be the greatest argument against the idea that Video Games are art in existence.
I wouldn’t adapt Borderlands 2’s story straight, but I feel there was a lot more going on in that game than in 1. ‘
It's an incredibly basic plot, crimson raiders and sanctuary versus Hyperion. But any of that would be better than what we got. Where's all the corpo stuff? Like why leave that out?
Mike was exactly right about the age gap between Cate Blanchett and Jamie Lee Curtis, 55 and 65
How did he do that wtf
Man knows his gilfs
Wait she's only 65?
That clip of Kevin Hart toward the end is really impressive, he talks for like 30 seconds and says almost nothing, like he's trying to explain the character arc of a character missing one.
"Nice work Randy Pitchford. Now for our next movie, Duke Nukem Forever!" - Activision Gearbox board members
Five words ... The twins at the start. :p
"John Cena is .. Duke Nukem. Those aliens are gonna pay for shooting up his ... gym."
Cena would be a good Duke.@@michaelkitchin9665
OK, except Duke will be played by Danny Devito, who plays it entirely straight, and the "twins" are played by Whoopi Goldberg and Bette Midler, and they do all the action while Danny gets dragged along.
@pawkeshup who is doing th casting?!? The guy who did the Border.... ooooh!
"Yes, I know you can take notes on your phone, everyone." - man clarifying that he is not yet dead
WE NEVER FORGOT COLONIAL MARINES, PITCHFORD!
Tindalos gave us a solid Aliens: Dark Descent last year, so at least the gaping chestburster hole in my chest is a little less empty now.
_"it was like a 7, 7 and a half.."_
if only this film was as good as A:CM and that's saying something
Pitchford is a complete joke
A single digit in a single line of code made the aliens brain dead. That happened under his watch.
PITCHFORD KILLED DUKE
In the game, they don't explain about the aliens or what's in the vault. (I mean, they do if you go looking for it, but its not in the main exposition at the beginning) They just say, "You're a treasure hunter. Go find this treasure vault. There's probably something cool in it."
The motivation for the player is to kill stuff and get new guns, and the motivations for the characters is to get filthy rich and presumably an early retirement. It's not actually that complicated.
Spoilers for a 15 year old video game, when you open the vault, the last boss is inside it. Pretty good reward for a video game player. Not sure how moviegoers would take that narrativly, but it's a good payoff in a game.
The games are a like reverse Star Trek. Instead of traveling the galaxy to discover new life and spread posadist communism, they're just of asshole bisexual treasure hunters that'll throw unregistered recreational McNukes in the mouth of eldritch abominations. I don't think the multimillionaire Starbucks Socialists of Hollywood will ever put a character like that in a protagonist position. The heroes in the games are truly some of the most insane ancap motherfuckers in media.
The story in the first one was basically a joke plot to keep the action and "number go up" game play going. The 2nd one had an actual plot that's pretty well remembered because the villain Handsome Jack was well performed. I don't know who thought it was a good idea to adapt the game that has practically zero plot to speak of into a movie.
@Flyon86 any adaptation wo Handsome Jack is just wasting resources. He was the high water mark in the entire IP
@@Alexcmlindquist In the end it turns out there was nothing in Al(ien) Capone's vault.
@msplendor his voice actor deserves a lot of credit for playing with the script.
25:18 I love the fact that they had no prior knowledge or exposure to this franchise but even they know that they miscast this movie
About time Citizen Kane got a run for it’s money.
I prefer Citizen Kang.
I prefer Canada Kong
This would be the THIRD most embarrassing thing Jack Black has done this year.
Between Bowser and Claptrap, JB is quickly taking the voice acting slot of "we didnt know who to cast for this"!
When they don't actually try to find a voice actor...
Male VA: jack black
Female VA: akwafina
@@johnlong8952 *Male VA: chris pratt
JB was actually the perfect person to voice Bowser when you factor in the way Nintendo has been writing him for the past decade, but people would only know that if they've played all of the mario rpgs.
@@johnlong8952 *Male VA: chris pratt
Squarely in the B-list.
1:40 "...so annoying I saw Jar-Jar Binks walk out of the theatre."
If there's any justice this will be used as a pull quote on the back of the Borderlands VHS box.
Got to love that the straight laced, hyper stiff, awkward and unfunny ex-raider turned good guy Roland was played by Kevin Hart.
Unironically this is a time where they could have cast Dwayne The Rock Johnson and it honestly would have been more accurate than what we got with Kevin Hart's absolute assassination of the character lol
ex-raider? Isn't he an Atlas deserter? He still has the shoulder pauldron with the emblem on it.
@@NavyPheonix
I'm pretty sure they're forgetting details or just skimmed a Wiki page about Roland. The Crimson Raiders was the group Roland formed from the remnants of the Crimson Lance, the Atlus PMC, after the conclusion of the first game. They weren't literally raiders and were more like guardians or a resistance group.
38:18 Jay thought no one would catch that Grindhouse reference but he underestimated how lonely i really am
Interest in Borderlands:😴 💤
Interest in RLM talking about it for 40 minutes: 😮🎉
The biggest problem with this movie is they made a Borderlands movie. The story was never worth adapting in the first place, especially with the older main characters that had zero character besides their looks and abilities until the sequels. The best part about Borderlands is the gameplay, so there really was no point.
The only way this would have worked is if they did an original story in the world of Borderlands, more similar to Tales From The Borderlands which actually was about the story and characters.
I mean thet didn't even try to adapt the videogame anyway. Since everyone is weirdly aged, like Tina is there despite her appearing first in BL2, same with Kreig, but Tina is wearing her BL3 outfit which means Roland should be dead, so we have no idea where in the Borderlands timeline it is meant to be set.
From what it sounds like, outside of the generic goal to reach the vault, it is an original story just reusing characters we’re familiar with.
Which is almost worse
The Tales from the Borderlands approach is basically exactly what the Fallout show did, and it worked great.
The story has always been god awful and full of weird millenial cringeworthy dialogue. The character designs are mildly cool to look at. People just like the mindless gameplay.
The probably could have done a series where each week was a new different adventure, probably animated, but ya a movie had pretty much no shot.
This movie had so many reshoots Tiny Tina become Medium Tina. 😂
It took 12 years to make
She's 36 now
love how jay narrowly dodges explaining "Visual Novels" at 7:43 (from someone who actually enjoys visual novels with sprawling plots)
Based assumer.
A series of fights, "you have to go to the place and get the thing", and "we're looking for a vault, but why?" pretty much sums up everything I remember about the plot of the game, too.
The plot of Borderlands 1 is really weak, both in narrative and content.
It feels like only from BL2 onwards that they hired a writer... who then quit right before BL3.
@@themurmeli88 borderlands 1 was all about setting and tone
@@RUDY-COLEMAN tone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! people dont understand tone anymore!!!
bl1 is still the best game in the series when it comes to TONE!!!!!!
@@KpopIsKoreanOnlyFans are you saying that the TONE is the key to all of this, and it's stylistically designed to be that way?
Borderlands is pretty basic but it's about the world building and the writing. Also fun and original gameplay. Nothing that can translate well in a random action movie.
The casting choices remind me of those weirdos fan-casting Dicaprio as Spiderman, and Brad Pitt as Superman and shit, and the way Eli explained his reasoning behind casting, makes it even more like it.
Underrated comment 💯 🗣
DiCaprio was the pick for Spider-Man when James Cameron was going to direct in the late 90s.
@@iridescent6685it would have been fine then, the problem is doing it now after he's much older and has the career he has
Those wouldn't have been weird casting choices at all in the 90's
I thought having Macaulay Culkin in blackface to play Kevin Hart was an odd choice but I wouldn't say it's 9% bad
It was a bold and transgressive performance
Claptrap is annoying? Roland is Shooty Gun Man? The plot is full of tropes and something you can predict in the first ten minutes?
This is the most accurate video game movie.
It's such a fucking bad game to try to adapt too. Terribly written annoying grating game that is saved by the gameplay and art style.
@JoQeZzZ for real. 2 has something there that could be adapted by a talented director and screen writer. 1 has nothing.
@@JoQeZzZ the first 2 games are really fun for the writing and gameplay. Just because you think you're about the humor doesn't mean it's bad writing.
@@gregortheoverlander4122 I’m of the opinion that Borderlands only became super popular after Borderlands 2.
The Borderlands movie spent 3 years in post-production. I can only imagine initial cuts of this movie being harmful for the audience's health.
I don't know how this production went down, but my limited experience learning about what I'll call "justifiable studio meddling" is that they generally take a weird terrible movie and shape it into a generic terrible movie - something that fits into a recognizable box that is less likely to make audiences downright angry and confused but isn't much better or worse. It goes from "what the fuck is happening?" to "I know what's happening but don't care"
It does follow in the Randy Pitchford spirit of "start something and have someone else finish it" pattern like his level maps and video games, so it's true to its source.
@@bigjohnsbreakfastlog5819 It really does feel like it got the worst of upper management meddling of both the film and video game industry. Truly a new frontier in media.
I think they were trying to make it PG13 bc they realized the tone was too cheesy to satisfy adults. But it’s based on a game w/ dark humor that glamorizes gun battles… while the film is made by communist anti-gun folks 😂
If this movie was made 10 years earlier than only most of them would be too old to play their characters.
I’m throwing this comment out into the void before I’ve even watched the video: You guys would love Randy Pitchford. Just a classic, grade A, S tier grease bag con man.
A fellow Hack Fraud
You're not wrong.
CEO Magician. The worst combination.
I don't even hate magicians, but I feel like him being a magician makes his persona as a sleazy grifting greaseball that much more bolstered. Maybe it's because it feels like his motives are always ulterior.
If he didn't get into the video game industry he would have made a great black tank top director
11:01 That look Mike gives the camera after Jay said he watch House With the Clocks in the Walls was so damn funny.
Jay was close to using the term "visual novel" then stopped himself. What does he know?
More than he is willing to admit.
We need Jay to reveal his power level
Muramasa re:view soon
Jay would be a big fan of 'Saya no Uta'.
He knows Katawa Shoujo's going on sale on Steam in 3 days and there isn't a soul at RLM he can talk to about it without them responding "Oh, so Choose Your Own Adventure books, except there's fucking in them is that it Jay."
I have a coworker whose entire personality is liking video games. The Borderlands series is something the dude brings up at least once a week. Every time we get a new hire that admits to playing video games, he tries to rope them into playing Borderlands 3 with him. Not even this dude gave a fuck that this movie was coming out. He at least brought up the Fallout show in conversation long enough to say it was fine. This shit? Not a peep.
My sisters partner is a massive resident evil and silent hill fan. He also gets very argumentative when drunk, and it took me about 2hrs once to make him understand I wasn't attacking the franchise of RE but the movies. The lore might be great, but it can still get f****d by hacks. That said, I know very little about borderlands, the game, and have no interest in the game
*interest in the movie*. Though it might make an entrance at our own BOTW night 😂
I played the shit out of Borderlands 1 and 2 but I didn't even know there was a 3. 😂
Just tell him that it's annoying and he needs to stfu. I had that wake up call in primary school. The only time you get to rant about a video game you played, in a social setting, is after getting together with a girl who still finds your interests charming.
@@gordonfreeman5872
>He got bullied into not talking about the things he likes
Sad!
Mike mentions Star Trek at 16:38
saw this comment and he said it right after
@@alantomy1444I was also timing how long Mike could go without mentioning Star Trek.
This comment popped up exactly as it was happening 😂
This comment also showed at the top, at the exact second this video was previously left at and I came back to it, down to the second. YT 100% must bump time stamped comments.
@@alantomy1444Yah. TH-cam can sync up to time stamped comments.
The current box office on Borderlands is $16.3 million. At $15 a ticket, that means 1,086,666 people saw this movie. Your video here is on track to being more viewed than the actual movie.
It's wild to me that Mike hasn't ever heard of Borderlands.
Then I remember he's 90.
Two Half in the Bags in a row? And in a timely fashion? This is Borderlands Experimental!
ClapTraps a funnier character than we've ever had before
a whole bag
My brain is so broken I read that as "Two and a Half Bags"
Dude they have been so on time recently
They were slow the past couple of years
IT TOOK TWELVE HOURS TO MAKE
Maybe the studio rent went up after they destroyed all those copies of Nukie.
More people watched this than the movie
@@dasboom7133 lol rightb
The Kevin Hart interlude is an example of why RLM is tops on my "crying-laughing"/minute ratio
Claptrap being compared to Robot in the Family might be the most perfect comparison I've ever heard.
I haven't played the game, but isn't the idea that everyone hates him and that he's horrible? It seems they fumbled his purpose in the film and tried to make him a genuine comic relief.
ROBOT IN THE FAMILYYYYYYYYYY
@AnaverdGaiden That's correct, but it's only vaguely amusing in the games. A fumble maybe, but it sounds like they correctly adapted how pathetic and tryhard Borderlands humor tends to be, so good job I think?
Why am I not shocked that Jay is the one bringing up "GILF Tits"?
Didn't Mike bring it up first?
He brings up mine!
@@voltijuice8576underrated comment
"General vibe of the actor" is the best way to describe the unusual feeling regarding the casting. Like what if Daniel Day Lewis played that barbarian dude in the mask? You'd question why the hell that was the choice and it'd make no sense.
Or even to just get back to the parallel they keep making, if DDL was even cast as Star Lord in Guardians of the Galaxy it would be really weird too. This kind of character just demands a younger actor.
"This is a lot of strong women in one production, and Eli's just like yeaaaahhh" - girl's telling it bluntly.
"Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?" If we hadn't known that Mark Hamill is comparatively short until after seeing the movie, that remark would have been far funnier.
The writing and characters in the series have always had about as much maturity and depth as a Spencer's Gifts t-shirt. It's always been on par with a middle-schooler's perception of what makes something funny and cool.
Making Borderlands into a film takes out the best part of the franchise, which is the gameplay. It's like going to a restaurant that doesn't serve food.
That sounds about right.
Never got into Borderlands but this is exactly the vibe I got just from what I saw from it.
Just seemed a little try hard and meh to me, even if it was a super fun game.
Borderlands2 with handsome Jack was a fun story, but yea the gameplay was the main draw
Yes. This. I've been saying this and a lot of fans have been acting like it has some top tier, classic storyline. Borderlands is fun to play and you miss a lot of the cringe due to the thousand bullets a second whizzing past you that cover up most of the exposition and bad jokes.
I'm pretty sure competent people could have made this work, even if Borderlands 1 has a very threadbare plot. Hell, a movie about Scooter could work with the right people working on it. To Catch A Ride: A Scooter Story. Starring Walton Goggins as Scooter, coming to a theater near you
@@brainxdrain3617 I don't think anyone considers, and I've yet to hear anyone make the claim that any of the Borderlands games have masterpiece stories, but starting with Borderlands 2 the games became more than just looter shooters. And let's not forget that there's a TellTale Borderlands game that has a solid story without the looter shooter component.
This movie exists for some sort of weird behind the curtains reasons, the casting is the giveaway.
the island
Say what you will, but Weinstein had skills finding hot chicks to play approriate roles.
@@woldemunster9244New from Goop, Weinstein scent
Humiliation ritual ova here
@@woldemunster9244that’s gonna be a yikes from me
When Mike says a ghost show is bad, you know it's bad
The base plot of the 1st Borderlands game was: "Go to the place, to get the thing." But that works 99% better in a videogame because *you,* the player, are involved with and experiencing the process of going to the place and getting the thing and making all of the actions and decisions therein.
It was also taking every opportunity to piss all over the cliches of the GRAND QUEST and had some hilarious characters in it.
@@Deadguy2322forreal
The first game? Really? I don't remember much from it because everything was so generic and boring. Even Zed and Marcus had more personality in BL2.
casting Jack Black as Claptrap is like inadvertently creating a new CIA torture method
"I may have gone too far in a few places"
I may have been chased out of Australia recently..
I feel like he was cast because someone thought saying their names together was funny. Jack Black Claptrap.
@hope-cat4894 thats a tongue twister right there
Cate Blanchett should've been Emily Blunt, Gina Gershon should've been Alexandria Donddario, and Jamie Curtis should've been Cate Blanchett. Eli Roth should've been Neil Blomkamp
🤔that works for me lol
be glad that Kathleen Kennedy was not involved.. she would have made them all strong female characters...
… and the movie should’ve been good.
And George Lucas should have directed people to their seats in the theater
It’s a decent video game series, there was no excuse for it to suck.
I'm all for older actors having some fun with silly action movies. Bob Odenkirk and Christopher Lloyd were brilliant in Nobody. But this just wasn't the place for JLC and Cate Blanchett.
I knew something was off when they didn’t have No Rest For the Wicked in the trailer
good
don't associate my precious cage the elephant with 0% rotten tomato
They couldn't afford the rights to it: Money don't grow on trees
@@nsnick199the movie costed 115 million dollars 💀
@@maxwellwellman The song's associated with the franchise anyway
@@plaguedoctorjamespainshe6009 It was a comedic reference to the song.
Randy Pitchford's long awaited karma for the fiasco known as Aliens: Colonial Marines.
Still waiting on his karma for the infamous thumb drive…
A 7, 7 and a half.
@@diablojones It was a magic trick!
He's handled it well so far.
HEY, I LOVED THE CM!
This review is literally the combination of my two favourite things when I was 15, borderlands and elderly abuse
Finally, a video game movie that properly reflects the source material.
This is borderlands experimental
Underrated comment
an interesting thing about this movie is that the ceo of the company that made the game, randy pitchford, was confident that no one would guess the lilith was the chosen one despite her class in the game being named siren.
This was a clever nod to the fact that no one has cared about borderlands for a decade and so no one remembered that anymore.
Or that the ceo never played borderlands
Oboe fan huh
He also thought no one would look in his porn thumbdrive he left at a Taco Bell. He was wrong about that, too.
@@killergrooves2438Medieval Times* not taco bell... but yeah... Not that it makes a real difference...
I feel bad for Eli Roth. I’ve seen interviews with him and he seems to have genuine good taste in horror movies and knows a lot about the history of the genre. But he’s completely talentless. Imagine being born crippled and being forced to watch other people run and jump everyday.
The most insane casting I've seen in a while.
Let's cast a nearly 60 year old woman as our hot young action lead!
@@johneden2033It's the current year! Geriatric women are hot! Just look at madonna!
AND SHE WAS SO COLD AND UNINTERESTED- like the GRANDMA who played her but that's not Lilith's core characteristic
yuck, seeing Cate flying in the air with Firehawk wings felt like looking through an old woman pin-up calendar
@@jo_magpie youtube is run by censorious commie authoritarians.
That is all.
Legitimately weird in a distracting way. Like having sexuality in the film would've beenn against code so let's cast grandmas.
Eli Roth is the Uwe Boll with a Disney-sized budget.
I could at least enjoy Uwe Boll movies though...
@@exilenl and uwe boll owns a surprisingly good restaurant chain apparently
Uwe Boll is unironically much better, he makes bargain bin schlock but they're competently made and can be enjoyed as dumb fun.
Uwe Boll made Postal, one of the best videogame movies ever made.
Mike: *judges Jay for watching a kids movie*
Also Mike: *watches Zak Bagans trash unironically*
"It doesn't feel broken" Another glowing review from Jay! 😂
God, if these guys could hear about Randy Pitchford, the CEO of the studio behind Borderlands, and how much of the insane things that madman has done. They could do an entire red curtain video on that guy's insanity alone.
The infamous USB stick left at Medieval times!
@@BlazingOwnager Randy 'Barely Legal' Pitchford
RLM presents: Plinkett vs Pitchford
@@BlazingOwnagern SAing claptrap's VA idk which is better 😂 probably the excuse for the squirting pornography though 😂
@@BlazingOwnagerwhat