You can work through it if you both do the work, but it will never be magical... in my opinion. I have been through it. I decided that "good enough" was ok... for now.
Yup, upon some deep reflection on my part, I figured out that I really didn’t trust him. So I would have been waiting for not ‘if’ but ‘when’ it happened again. There were a lot of tears but I am worthy of much better, even if I remain single. Reiki blessings to all here!
Oh yes, it hurts at the beginning because being replaced by woman half my age did hurt my self esteem very much. Through therapy and self discovery I’m in the best place I’ve ever been.
Happened to me too! They are still together and that age gap for them and his health issues have been quite the challenge in their marriage. I've moved on.
I stayed until my kids were older. Usually if they cheat once they will do it again…and again….i ended up remarrying a good faithful guy in my early 40’s but it’s been a challenge with all the baggage that comes with re-marriage. The success rate for 2nd and 3rd marriages is low but here I am 30 years later.
Hello Sandra I'm David 27 years from Rwanda in Africa I was Waiting your new video , your advice is very helpful for all sides of ages. Wish you healthy
25 years ago, with 3 young children, my husband was unfaithful. I found it painful and humiliating. One thing I would advise young women, be careful who you share with because you are very vulnerable at that point. Hold your head high and look forward. We divorced and I talked with a therapist which helped immensely for healing my self worth issues.
Agree 100% would say do this on any subject, awareness of this is key, unfortunately not everyone has it. This is an inside job, a road less travelled not for everyone. Well done young 👩 ❤
You said all this so delicately and I'm sure helped a lot of people. Most people feel that life cannot go on, but then later they say it's the best thing that could have happened to them. Hopefully because you've learned from this and found someone so much better to share your life with.
Many years back I came up with a saying - “Don’t marry a project “. It applies to both sexes and all ages. . A few months back I came up with the second part - “Don’t be a project”.
Missed you last week Sandra. ❤ I’m 12 years post divorce and within the past three years have discovered being single works well for me. My former husband still lives with his girlfriend and the past few years has been sick (surgery from partial colon removal and prostrate cancer). Our children and I had 27 of his best years. The hurt doesn’t heal with time, you learn to live with it in the background. It’s important to remain open to trust again.
27 years must be a magic number for a long term marriage. Must be midlife crisis for the men who think they can but can’t keep up. Then comes the health issue for them that we don’t have to deal with!!!!
Be careful. Enjoy your peace of mind & don’t take it for granted. #2 could be a whole lot worse than #1 speaking from experience. Thankfully I’m single with a happy & full life. No need to rock the boat
This is a tough one, and you covered it perfectly. I know some who say they forgive, but in their hearts...no. It ends up having two unhappy people when you aren't honest with your decision. You can love someone like crazy, yet, as you said, Sandra, sometimes it's just not meant to be. It's better to find out sooner than later. All of your points were exactly right. The one I feel is the most important is being honest and true to yourself. It truly is the most important relationship we'll ever have! Good to see you! Thank you for another much needed vid💞😘
I wish i would have had those four questions years ago when i went through infidelity. It took me many years to truly move on. I had forgiven the first time that was my biggest mistake. He did it again 6 years later. Only then did i walk away broken and hurt. With time i healed and finally met the love of my life. Jen
You’re so comforting and wise. I went through this with my ex husband. So much pain but after a couple of years realized this was the best thing that could have happened. You can’t fit a square peg in a round hole. I’m so much happier now. 😊❤
Another amazing video, Ms. Sandra. ❤ I’ve never been a victim or perpetrator of infidelity, but I was present when my best friend in high school found out that his first serious girlfriend was cheating on him. He started sobbing and punched a concrete floor… breaking his hand/wrist/arm in several places. I will never forget that shocking moment and his pain in the months that followed. My heart goes out to anyone who has felt that betrayal.
It's been 16 yrs and need to be mindful to accept the things that I cannot change and the courage to change the things that I can and the wisdom to know the difference. 🙏 Thank you for your input. Have a blessed week! 🙏😘
Exactly, the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, being a stay at home mom was my choice, like my mom was as well. My job was at home, wife and mom. But then if u realize u married a schmuck, lol. Hence the serenity prayer
For me it's deal breaker and it was a well known deal breaker from the get go (30 years of knowing this). Trust is 100% broken and if I wasn't worth it the first round why would I be on a second round. 12 years later and I haven't looked back. Not an easy road but necessary for my growth. Thanks Sandra for this platform of empathy and compassion.
Once bitten, twice shy. I understand what you mean I really do but there goes the saying that you really don't know the value of what you have until you've lost it, I'm sure that's the case of your ex. Walking away is never easy especially when you've come to invest your time and emotions. You're a strong person 😊
It hasn't happened to me but I would walk, no doubt about it and no second chances. I know it would be hard but I would do it without a doubt. Cheating is a planned activity, its not something that "just happens". In my opinion the person who gets caught is only sorry they got caught, period. Right or wrong that's my stance.
The betrayal I ended it and got divorced it's been about 29 year's. I also ended a relationship with a boyfriend. I've been single since I would say 1997/98. And I still have trust issue's . I'm 63. Love ❤️ your advice
Important questions to answer with a calm head. So many of us have dealt with this betrayal, but the key that you mentioned is whether the betrayer is remorseful and doesn’t justify their infidelity by gaslighting us with making it our shortcomings that caused it. It can be quite complicated and messy. I say a separation is needed to gain clarity after such a shock. Important topic for women to think about as it is so prevalent and this includes porn addiction that is even more common that wreaks intimacy and trust
@@earthdogpj1 Like Sandra said if both the man and the woman are willing to make it work and if the offender is remorseful the victim is willing to forgive then they can make it work and can live happily ever after.
Yes very hurtful! I finally divorced after 21 years of marriage-did remarry and I am very happy! Stayed until children were almost out of the nest - they knew it before me as he involved them! They still have a relationship with dad although there is still anger. Sometimes I wonder if it is guilt related. So many truths come out of the blue! Thank you Sandra.
@@anncarr6510 it’s good that you were able to remarry and you’re happy in the marriage. Most people lack the will to trust again or afraid of going into another relationship.
Sandra. Thank you so very much. Had a good cry and needed it. You must be reading my mind. One never forgets but moves on and prays for a happy moment. Somewhere there is a glimmer of hope and happiness. Small steps.
It is very difficult and a personal decision with so many factors that vary from person to person. Good job of tackling a difficult topic Sandra. ♥ Elle
This couldn’t be more timely. I’m almost 3 yrs out from my betrayal, still in the process of rebuilding myself and starting therapy with a trauma informed therapist. Thank you for sharing your wisdom Sandra, this video has made me feel less alone
Thank you for speaking on this topic. Biggest hurt for me was loss of innocence and trust. Did not feel like journaling when I found out. More ready to break something Be well and enjoy fall❤
@@charlenewilliford6957 Most people broken when they found themselves in such situations, most people tried getting even, most people just walk but remember communication is key.
I stayed, my husband and I went to counseling and although he came around 100% things were never really the same for me. It has been about 11 years but I realize many times I've grown colder. I do love him but I don't believe it is the same as it was before 😢
Thank you for saying this. It's been 10 months for me and I feel the same. I believe I've forgiven him thoroughly and I do love him, but I've wondered if I'd ever feel the same connection, interest and commitment to the relationship. So far, no. I'm going to stop trying so hard to find that. It feels sad to say it's "good enough" but I think it is. No magic is not the worst.
Good morning Sandra! nice to see you back, I needed to hear that years ago when I went through that, so this conversation is good for young people to hear we already been there and done that, have a wonderful day
Thank you, Sandra, for an excellent message. Thankfully, I haven't experienced this but several friends have. Your message was spot on. That is total disrespect & I think it would be extremely difficult & not worth staying. As you said, it's ok to leave. And it's true...the most important relationship in your entire life is with yourself. Everyone deserves happiness. Don't settle is right!! Many women stay & wonder daily if he's continuing to be unfaithful. No one deserves to live like that. Life is short. Thank you for such an important message. I hope you & Mu-Shoo have a great week ahead!❤
Hello, Aunty Sandra I’m kindly appreciating you for your fascinating advices. I can’t describe how I love you in words. Long life sending you love. 🫂🥹❤️❤️
A friend I knew in West Va. had her husband leave her for a younger woman and a year later he begged her to take him back. She did, and they’ve had a very long marriage. Every situation is different.
@@betspath that’s what I’ve been trying to tell some people. You only realize the value of what you’ve lost after losing it and reflecting on it will make you want it even more.
Hi Sandra. I hope this video helps someone that needs to walk away. You are so sweet and beautiful. I love watching your videos. Im sure you have inspired alot of people ( male & female). Looking forward to your next video. Stay safe and have a very happy blessed week.❤😊
🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿Powerful insight, thoughtfully presented, and shared with grace, kindness, and wisdom:)... Appreciate all do Sandra:) ❤🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿 Your TH-cam Channel is wonderful Blessing:)...
Thank you so much for creating this video! Your insights on infidelity really touched my heart and helped me find clarity during a tough time. I’ll definitely keep following your work!
Hello, Sandra. Thank you very much for making this video. This is something I'm currently going through and isn't the first time. It is very difficult to navigate and overcome. It's wonderful to hear from a wiser generation who can offer advice on things I'm still learning about. I enjoyed this very much. ❤ Thanks again.
Been there 2x’s which made me so angry at myself…how could I make this mistake again by marrying the same kind of man again with the same mental health …..bipolar. Sometimes controlled but often hard to stay on meds and be stable! You are so correct Sandra that you can have a happy life without him/her. Thanks for discussing❤️
Thank You, Sandra. I am sure this message will be helpful to so many. Having been divorced THREE TIMES due to infidelity, I can assure everyone watching that HEALING is possible and living your best life without a partner is better than staying with someone who cares so little for you that they would cheat. If you're not happy with someone then end the relationship and then go see if the "grass is greener" but don't do that while you're still in the relationship! It's very hurtful to the person who is staying faithful!
Thank you Sandra. Words of wisdom. I have found that time is needed as both sides have to heal first. Decisions need to be made from a balanced perspective. Egos must be put aside ❤
Hi Sandra:) Great advice with much thought to this situation. My story would be a book.. but I could never trust him again and divorced after 24 years. I stayed four years after the infidelity. We have remained friends for many, many years. I think the kids (now grown men) are happy we are -but understand why we parted. Hope you are doing well and praying for the hurricanes to stay away. I pray for God’s protection 🙏🤗🩷🙏
I've seen my whole life my father cheating on my mother. He had at least two other children with young women. She forgave him over and over. I have loved her forever. He manipulated everyone. Never wore a wedding ring. Says it all. She deserved better. She won't talk to me as I took him to court. You know he abused me. Thankyou Sandra ❤❤❤xxx 🐶🐾🐾
So sorry Angela. Stories like yours and your long-suffering mother are too common and heartbreaking. Thank you so much for sharing because it may help someone else who has walked in your shoes. I’m glad you took him to court. You did the right thing.💕💕💕
@lifewithsandrahart The guy that represented him in court was clever. He knew a big case was comming up before the public (including me) so to the jury it looked like I was jumping on the band wagon. Huge case of a much loved man in the Uk all over the news. And they kept delaying with no explanation. I was nieve, had I been aware I'd have delayed, waited for the news stop mentioning it all the time. That said it was a much talked about issue as he was on the Television for years doing programmes which involved children. Who wrote to him, even I did, you could be picked luckily I wasn't. Hindsight a wonderful thing, and knowledge as you grow older. Shame I didn't have the brain of a 50 year old me at 8. 🤔
Excellent video, Sandra. I have a good friend whose husband cheated on her 30+ years ago. He walked the walk, and talked the talk, and made it work. It took about 5 years before she really trusted him. Blessings, love, and safety from the hurricane...MaryEllen
Thanks Sandra ❤ once you realize the problem (error of ways is not you it’s them) this should give clear focus they will need to work to find their root cause as well regain your trust. Even then most are not willing to work so hard with daily fighting of a this dangerous habit. We all have to confident in our decision of staying or starting over. A new start was best for myself.☀️☀️
It's easy to want to go, and you know it's time to go. If you have nothing to live on because you put yourself last and take care of everybody but your own livelihood, it's the worst knowing there's no way out.
Hi Sandra. I am 69 and married at a very young age. My husband was a pathological liar and a constant cheater. Unfortunately we separated and he died at a very young age which was something that should never happen to anyone. I never spoke about the cruel treatment he gave me for over 45 years. I just held that pain inside all that time because I was taught never to speak ill of the dead. This caused me so many emotional problems and it is only now that I speak about it. My son does not know what his dad was like as I did not want him to know this about his father. I opened up finally to a friend a few weeks ago and although I was very careful about what I said, I did feel a certain amount of relief. I have decided to be open about it now. Thank you for this video. I needed to hear this. God bless you.
Good morning Sandra Glad to see you again I was wondering what happened to you last week. I see another comment where a subscriber missed you last Sunday. Hope you weren’t feeling sick last week I am lucky I haven’t experienced infidelity. I did divorce years ago for other reasons. I’m sure your advice will help those in need. Your video was interesting though. You never know what life might bring. 💗
I appreciated watching this video, and what you said resonated to my core as I have come to accept that the decision to leave the relationship a few years ago has been a positive one for my mental well-being. It was difficult because I knew the effect this would have on our daughter and her relationship with me. But those last words of "love and loyalty" are crucial for any intimate relationship, and both parties have to be willing and committed to the same values. It has taken me a while to recognise my own self-worth and realise that it was not a selfish expectation. Thank you, Sandra, for another amazing sharing ❤️ xx
Thank you so much dear Sandra for such wise and profound words! You are so right! I think fidelity is value number one in a love relationship. It is the base of the house, so to speak! The advice you gave is a perfect way to deal with infidelity! 🙏💐♥️🌄
Actually love is the base and value number one , as you said it, in a “love relationship” and fidelity is something that results out of love and respect for your partner. It’s the kind of mentality “I would rather die then hurt my loved one this way.”
This comes at a time when I am trying to cope with a different kind of betrayal, that of family stealing an inheritance, two of those members being my own adult children. The intentionality of it all is what I find so devastating. That's all I can say for now, but your words and wisdom are soothing. I've been trying to focus on other things and to turn these people over to God, but it has been truly horrific. The trust has shattered beyond repair. And at 65 I'm picking myself up, in fractured pieces. Thank you for being here.
Sandra, you look so much ether with rose lipstick versus the bright red you usually wear. When your lipstick is so bright or dark, with your pale skin & white hair, softer colors look so much better on us old folks. You look great with matching rose top. Love to you, Joan
Oh yes, been thru it. I survived. I outlived him and I’ve outlived my 2nd husband too. So I’d say I’m a survivor. Don’t ever give up on yourself. Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again!
Once you lose the trust in a relationship, in my opinion, it is never the same.
i think it needs a lot of work and effort from both sides to rebuild the relationship, if there's love from both sides it can be done.
Exactly. It's like trying to unscramble an egg. The damage is already done and irreversible.
You can work through it if you both do the work, but it will never be magical... in my opinion. I have been through it. I decided that "good enough" was ok... for now.
Trust and love matters.
So good. Thank you. 45 years of dealing with this. I forgive my husband.
It is so awful to go through, but when you heal you realize, hey I am the lucky one to be rid of him.
Yup, upon some deep reflection on my part, I figured out that I really didn’t trust him. So I would have been waiting for not ‘if’ but ‘when’ it happened again. There were a lot of tears but I am worthy of much better, even if I remain single. Reiki blessings to all here!
Oh yes, it hurts at the beginning because being replaced by woman half my age did hurt my self esteem very much. Through therapy and self discovery I’m in the best place I’ve ever been.
Happened to me too! They are still together and that age gap for them and his health issues have been quite the challenge in their marriage. I've moved on.
Keep on keeping on. His loss, not yours.
I stayed until my kids were older. Usually if they cheat once they will do it again…and again….i ended up remarrying a good faithful guy in my early 40’s but it’s been a challenge with all the baggage that comes with re-marriage. The success rate for 2nd and 3rd marriages is low but here I am 30 years later.
Oh I hear you. I remarried too. It was better than my first but lots of baggage!
Hello Sandra I'm David 27 years from Rwanda in Africa I was Waiting your new video , your advice is very helpful for all sides of ages. Wish you healthy
You are a treasure Sandra. ❤️
25 years ago, with 3 young children, my husband was unfaithful. I found it painful and humiliating. One thing I would advise young women, be careful who you share with because you are very vulnerable at that point. Hold your head high and look forward. We divorced and I talked with a therapist which helped immensely for healing my self worth issues.
Agree 100% would say do this on any subject, awareness of this is key, unfortunately not everyone has it. This is an inside job, a road less travelled not for everyone. Well done young 👩 ❤
You said all this so delicately and I'm sure helped a lot of people. Most people feel that life cannot go on, but then later they say it's the best thing that could have happened to them. Hopefully because you've learned from this and found someone so much better to share your life with.
I spent some time and effort trying to repair the relationship, wasted time. Divorce was best feeling I ever had.
Many years back I came up with a saying - “Don’t marry a project “. It applies to both sexes and all ages.
.
A few months back I came up with the second part - “Don’t be a project”.
Great advice, all the way around.
“Is this relationship aligned with what you want in love?” Such a good question.
Missed you last week Sandra. ❤ I’m 12 years post divorce and within the past three years have discovered being single works well for me. My former husband still lives with his girlfriend and the past few years has been sick (surgery from partial colon removal and prostrate cancer). Our children and I had 27 of his best years. The hurt doesn’t heal with time, you learn to live with it in the background. It’s important to remain open to trust again.
My story is just like yours and I could write a book about the journey. I’m in a good place by myself and happy.
Susan, your comment on how you got the best years of HIS life is brilliant! I love that!
He also had the best 27 years with you I would imagine. My ex got me in my best years.
27 years must be a magic number for a long term marriage. Must be midlife crisis for the men who think they can but can’t keep up. Then comes the health issue for them that we don’t have to deal with!!!!
Be careful. Enjoy your peace of mind & don’t take it for granted. #2 could be a whole lot worse than #1 speaking from experience. Thankfully I’m single with a happy & full life. No need to rock the boat
This is a tough one, and you covered it perfectly. I know some who say they forgive, but in their hearts...no. It ends up having two unhappy people when you aren't honest with your decision. You can love someone like crazy, yet, as you said, Sandra, sometimes it's just not meant to be. It's better to find out sooner than later. All of your points were exactly right. The one I feel is the most important is being honest and true to yourself. It truly is the most important relationship we'll ever have! Good to see you! Thank you for another much needed vid💞😘
I wish i would have had those four questions years ago when i went through infidelity. It took me many years to truly move on. I had forgiven the first time that was my biggest mistake. He did it again 6 years later. Only then did i walk away broken and hurt. With time i healed and finally met the love of my life. Jen
You’re so comforting and wise. I went through this with my ex husband. So much pain but after a couple of years realized this was the best thing that could have happened. You can’t fit a square peg in a round hole. I’m so much happier now. 😊❤
Thanks for sharing!!
Another amazing video, Ms. Sandra. ❤ I’ve never been a victim or perpetrator of infidelity, but I was present when my best friend in high school found out that his first serious girlfriend was cheating on him. He started sobbing and punched a concrete floor… breaking his hand/wrist/arm in several places. I will never forget that shocking moment and his pain in the months that followed. My heart goes out to anyone who has felt that betrayal.
I was worried about you as you hadn't uploaded a video in the last week.
I am now glad that you are back!
Take love,Mrs Hart ❤
Me too worried .
Thank you so much!
I hope all is well.
It's been 16 yrs and need to be mindful to accept the things that I cannot change and the courage to change the things that I can and the wisdom to know the difference. 🙏 Thank you for your input.
Have a blessed week! 🙏😘
Exactly, the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, being a stay at home mom was my choice, like my mom was as well. My job was at home, wife and mom. But then if u realize u married a schmuck, lol. Hence the serenity prayer
For me it's deal breaker and it was a well known deal breaker from the get go (30 years of knowing this). Trust is 100% broken and if I wasn't worth it the first round why would I be on a second round. 12 years later and I haven't looked back. Not an easy road but necessary for my growth. Thanks Sandra for this platform of empathy and compassion.
Once bitten, twice shy. I understand what you mean I really do but there goes the saying that you really don't know the value of what you have until you've lost it, I'm sure that's the case of your ex. Walking away is never easy especially when you've come to invest your time and emotions. You're a strong person 😊
It hasn't happened to me but I would walk, no doubt about it and no second chances. I know it would be hard but I would do it without a doubt. Cheating is a planned activity, its not something that "just happens". In my opinion the person who gets caught is only sorry they got caught, period. Right or wrong that's my stance.
I should have realised then, that he wasn't the type of man to truly commit. Thanks for pointing it out ❤
The betrayal I ended it and got divorced it's been about 29 year's. I also ended a relationship with a boyfriend. I've been single since I would say 1997/98. And I still have trust issue's . I'm 63. Love ❤️ your advice
Hi Sandra. Your very first statement brought me to tears. Thank you so much 😊
Important questions to answer with a calm head. So many of us have dealt with this betrayal, but the key that you mentioned is whether the betrayer is remorseful and doesn’t justify their infidelity by gaslighting us with making it our shortcomings that caused it. It can be quite complicated and messy. I say a separation is needed to gain clarity after such a shock. Important topic for women to think about as it is so prevalent and this includes porn addiction that is even more common that wreaks intimacy and trust
@@earthdogpj1 Like Sandra said if both the man and the woman are willing to make it work and if the offender is remorseful the victim is willing to forgive then they can make it work and can live happily ever after.
@@HarrisonWilliams-c2i Bullshit!
@@HarrisonWilliams-c2i bullshit
@@earthdogpj1 😂 looks like you’re not the forgiving type
@@HarrisonWilliams-c2i leave me alone . Get on a page for women
Yes very hurtful! I finally divorced after 21 years of marriage-did remarry and I am very happy! Stayed until children were almost out of the nest - they knew it before me as he involved them! They still have a relationship with dad although there is still anger. Sometimes I wonder if it is guilt related. So many truths come out of the blue! Thank you Sandra.
@@anncarr6510 it’s good that you were able to remarry and you’re happy in the marriage. Most people lack the will to trust again or afraid of going into another relationship.
Sandra. Thank you so very much. Had a good cry and needed it. You must be reading my mind. One never forgets but moves on and prays for a happy moment. Somewhere there is a glimmer of hope and happiness. Small steps.
Was so worried about you when you did not post last week . What a relief when I saw this post ❤
Run as fast as you can, heal and move on! Otherwise it's decades of 💩 they don't stop and 2nd guessing for decades is not worth it!
Your words are full of wisdom.Women have suffered more than people can think others died in the transitioning process.
It is very difficult and a personal decision with so many factors that vary from person to person. Good job of tackling a difficult topic Sandra. ♥ Elle
Thanks Elle!! Love Maggie’s new plush baby’!
This couldn’t be more timely. I’m almost 3 yrs out from my betrayal, still in the process of rebuilding myself and starting therapy with a trauma informed therapist. Thank you for sharing your wisdom Sandra, this video has made me feel less alone
Thank you for speaking on this topic. Biggest hurt for me was loss of innocence and trust. Did not feel like journaling when I found out. More ready to break something
Be well and enjoy fall❤
@@charlenewilliford6957 Most people broken when they found themselves in such situations, most people tried getting even, most people just walk but remember communication is key.
I stayed, my husband and I went to counseling and although he came around 100% things were never really the same for me. It has been about 11 years but I realize many times I've grown colder. I do love him but I don't believe it is the same as it was before 😢
I understand... you are never the same. I stay cautiously optimistic but the magic is gone.
Same
Thank you for saying this. It's been 10 months for me and I feel the same. I believe I've forgiven him thoroughly and I do love him, but I've wondered if I'd ever feel the same connection, interest and commitment to the relationship. So far, no. I'm going to stop trying so hard to find that. It feels sad to say it's "good enough" but I think it is. No magic is not the worst.
@@Karen-nq8du I agree. I never thought I would say this, but good enough can be workable when you have invested 28 years in a relationship.
@@jeanettehigginbotham Me either. A few years ago I probably would've said I was "settling". I hope it works out for both of us.
Good morning Sandra! nice to see you back, I needed to hear that years ago when I went through that, so this conversation is good for young people to hear we already been there and done that, have a wonderful day
Dear Sandra, this video said too much to me but I can’t tell my story because it is a book with so many pages😂. Now I can laugh. Thank you❤
I get it!
You look fantastic Sandra. Thanks for sharing.words of the wise is sufficient!❤
I wish I had your insight and the very important four questions back in the day. Very sound advice.
We all learned by living, don’t we?
Thank you, Sandra, for an excellent message. Thankfully, I haven't experienced this but several friends have. Your message was spot on. That is total disrespect & I think it would be extremely difficult & not worth staying. As you said, it's ok to leave. And it's true...the most important relationship in your entire life is with yourself. Everyone deserves happiness. Don't settle is right!! Many women stay & wonder daily if he's continuing to be unfaithful. No one deserves to live like that. Life is short. Thank you for such an important message. I hope you & Mu-Shoo have a great week ahead!❤
God Bless you Sandra, always happy to hear and see you ❤️❤️
My high school boyfriend did this to me. We had dated though high school. It was like a cold slap in my face. I walked away. Thanks Sandra ❤
You look wonderful Sandra thank you so much for sharing 💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏God bless you always
Thank you! You too!
Sandra, thank you for your wisdom. Good to see you ❤
Какая же Вы удивительная красавица и умница!❤Восхищаюсь Вашей мудростью т добрыми словами .🙏🥰❤️Благодарю Вас ,Сандра,и желаю здоровья и всех благ.🙏
Hello, Aunty Sandra I’m kindly appreciating you for your fascinating advices. I can’t describe how I love you in words. Long life sending you love. 🫂🥹❤️❤️
A friend I knew in West Va. had her husband leave her for a younger woman and a year later he begged her to take him back. She did, and they’ve had a very long marriage. Every situation is different.
@@betspath that’s what I’ve been trying to tell some people. You only realize the value of what you’ve lost after losing it and reflecting on it will make you want it even more.
Thank you Sandra. Beautiful and very informative. God bless !
Hi Sandra. I hope this video helps someone that needs to walk away. You are so sweet and beautiful. I love watching your videos. Im sure you have inspired alot of people ( male & female). Looking forward to your next video. Stay safe and have a very happy blessed week.❤😊
🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿Powerful insight, thoughtfully presented, and shared with grace, kindness, and wisdom:)...
Appreciate all do Sandra:) ❤🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿 Your TH-cam Channel is wonderful Blessing:)...
I give you credit for talking about this subject, Sandra. I am sure the video will help many.
This video really resonates with me. Thank you, Dear Sandra!💞👍
How truly spoken, I can only agree from my own experience ❤.
Thank You so much. I’m so happy to see you..this is a poweful message. ❤️🙏
Thank you so much for creating this video! Your insights on infidelity really touched my heart and helped me find clarity during a tough time. I’ll definitely keep following your work!
Hello, Sandra. Thank you very much for making this video. This is something I'm currently going through and isn't the first time. It is very difficult to navigate and overcome. It's wonderful to hear from a wiser generation who can offer advice on things I'm still learning about.
I enjoyed this very much. ❤ Thanks again.
Glad it was helpful! Best of luck to you
Well said dear Sandra! Blessings and love to you ❤
Been there 2x’s which made me so angry at myself…how could I make this mistake again by marrying the same kind of man again with the same mental health …..bipolar. Sometimes controlled but often hard to stay on meds and be stable! You are so correct Sandra that you can have a happy life without him/her.
Thanks for discussing❤️
Many years ago I came up with a saying- Don’t marry a project.
Thank You, Sandra. I am sure this message will be helpful to so many. Having been divorced THREE TIMES due to infidelity, I can assure everyone watching that HEALING is possible and living your best life without a partner is better than staying with someone who cares so little for you that they would cheat. If you're not happy with someone then end the relationship and then go see if the "grass is greener" but don't do that while you're still in the relationship! It's very hurtful to the person who is staying faithful!
Again thank you for sharing your wisdom 🌷much love and many blessings to you💞🙏
Thank you so much I am recovering from this situation but its so painful ❤
Everything you said is so true it takes two people to make a marriage work.❤️🌺
Thank you Sandra. Words of wisdom. I have found that time is needed as both sides have to heal first. Decisions need to be made from a balanced perspective. Egos must be put aside ❤
It takes work on both parts and forgiveness but it is not easy .
Hi Sandra:) Great advice with much thought to this situation. My story would be a book.. but I could never trust him again and divorced after 24 years. I stayed four years after the infidelity. We have remained friends for many, many years. I think the kids (now grown men) are happy we are -but understand why we parted. Hope you are doing well and praying for the hurricanes to stay away. I pray for God’s protection 🙏🤗🩷🙏
Thanks Sandra for ure words of wisdom. ❤
I've seen my whole life my father cheating on my mother. He had at least two other children with young women. She forgave him over and over. I have loved her forever. He manipulated everyone. Never wore a wedding ring. Says it all. She deserved better. She won't talk to me as I took him to court. You know he abused me. Thankyou Sandra ❤❤❤xxx 🐶🐾🐾
I believe in you
@beeu9841 Awe Thankyou, you have no idea what that means to me. ❤️❤️❤️
So sorry Angela. Stories like yours and your long-suffering mother are too common and heartbreaking. Thank you so much for sharing because it may help someone else who has walked in your shoes. I’m glad you took him to court. You did the right thing.💕💕💕
@lifewithsandrahart The guy that represented him in court was clever. He knew a big case was comming up before the public (including me) so to the jury it looked like I was jumping on the band wagon. Huge case of a much loved man in the Uk all over the news. And they kept delaying with no explanation. I was nieve, had I been aware I'd have delayed, waited for the news stop mentioning it all the time. That said it was a much talked about issue as he was on the Television for years doing programmes which involved children. Who wrote to him, even I did, you could be picked luckily I wasn't. Hindsight a wonderful thing, and knowledge as you grow older. Shame I didn't have the brain of a 50 year old me at 8. 🤔
hugs to you 🤗❤
Bless you, dear Sandra
It still stings after 20 years! Wonderful video.
Excellent video, Sandra. I have a good friend whose husband cheated on her 30+ years ago. He walked the walk, and talked the talk, and made it work. It took about 5 years before she really trusted him. Blessings, love, and safety from the hurricane...MaryEllen
Thank you Sandra! Another beautiful video of an important topic, sensitively done.
such wise and excellent advice, Sandra. God bless you.
Sometimes….. the worst ……. ends up to be the best …….. one way or another….. ❤️Thank you Sandra 🙏🏼💞
Thanks Sandra ❤ once you realize the problem (error of ways is not you it’s them) this should give clear focus they will need to work to find their root cause as well regain your trust. Even then most are not willing to work so hard with daily fighting of a this dangerous habit. We all have to confident in our decision of staying or starting over. A new start was best for myself.☀️☀️
You are hitting home with this won girl! I guess why I could tell you were my about beauty when I first started watching and listening. ❤
Hello, Sandra. Thank you so much.
You are so welcome
It's easy to want to go, and you know it's time to go. If you have nothing to live on because you put yourself last and take care of everybody but your own livelihood, it's the worst knowing there's no way out.
Hi Sandra. I am 69 and married at a very young age. My husband was a pathological liar and a constant cheater. Unfortunately we separated and he died at a very young age which was something that should never happen to anyone. I never spoke about the cruel treatment he gave me for over 45 years. I just held that pain inside all that time because I was taught never to speak ill of the dead. This caused me so many emotional problems and it is only now that I speak about it. My son does not know what his dad was like as I did not want him to know this about his father. I opened up finally to a friend a few weeks ago and although I was very careful about what I said, I did feel a certain amount of relief. I have decided to be open about it now. Thank you for this video. I needed to hear this. God bless you.
Sending you 💓
Good morning Sandra Glad to see you again I was wondering what happened to you last week. I see another comment where a subscriber missed you last Sunday. Hope you weren’t feeling sick last week
I am lucky I haven’t experienced infidelity. I did divorce years ago for other reasons. I’m sure your advice will help those in need. Your video was interesting though. You never know what life might bring. 💗
Thank you so much. God bless xx
Thank You Sandra for coming back.❤❤❤
Another great advice session. Thank you Sandra...have a great week ahead.
I appreciated watching this video, and what you said resonated to my core as I have come to accept that the decision to leave the relationship a few years ago has been a positive one for my mental well-being. It was difficult because I knew the effect this would have on our daughter and her relationship with me. But those last words of "love and loyalty" are crucial for any intimate relationship, and both parties have to be willing and committed to the same values. It has taken me a while to recognise my own self-worth and realise that it was not a selfish expectation. Thank you, Sandra, for another amazing sharing ❤️ xx
Hello I am hadeel 37years from turkey thanks for your advices. Love you so much 😘
Thank you so much dear Sandra for such wise and profound words! You are so right! I think fidelity is value number one in a love relationship. It is the base of the house, so to speak! The advice you gave is a perfect way to deal with infidelity! 🙏💐♥️🌄
Actually love is the base and value number one , as you said it, in a “love relationship” and fidelity is something that results out of love and respect for your partner. It’s the kind of mentality “I would rather die then hurt my loved one this way.”
Thank you Sandra for all your wisdom 🙏 ❤ God Bless
This video arrived at the perfect time for me 😢 thank uu mam you’re absolutely amazing ❤❤❤ i love u
This comes at a time when I am trying to cope with a different kind of betrayal, that of family stealing an inheritance, two of those members being my own adult children. The intentionality of it all is what I find so devastating. That's all I can say for now, but your words and wisdom are soothing. I've been trying to focus on other things and to turn these people over to God, but it has been truly horrific. The trust has shattered beyond repair. And at 65 I'm picking myself up, in fractured pieces. Thank you for being here.
Where there is money involved - greed raises its ugly head!! So sorry!! 💕💕
No other video spoke to me the way this video did.
Sandra, you look so much ether with rose lipstick versus the bright red you usually wear. When your lipstick is so bright or dark, with your pale skin & white hair, softer colors look so much better on us old folks. You look great with matching rose top. Love to you, Joan
Miss you last week I get nervous when I don't see always hope you are well
Thank you Sandra
Thank you for your kind words!
Loved this video Sandra, thank you for bringing it to all of us. It was very helpful to me❤
Thank you Sandra 💕 always words of wisdom , I’m sure they’ve helped many . 💞
Its currently happening to me and you really help me alot. Thank you everytime. 🥺
Amen. As I've said, two people in it to win it.
Thank you Sandra 🙏🏻💫across the miles
Obrigada. , querida. Muito carinho por você. Gratidão.
Thank you
Oh yes, been thru it. I survived. I outlived him and I’ve outlived my 2nd husband too. So I’d say I’m a survivor. Don’t ever give up on yourself. Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again!
To me it was about family and giving our kids some semblance of stilbility.
Truth.