I developed vaginismus in 1987. I had no idea what it was or why it was happening. There was nothing to read, no one to talk to. Out of desperation, I went to several gynecologists and none of them knew what it was. I was asked if I had been sexually abused as a child, (no), told to drink alcohol before sex and basically not offered any help at all. I needed IUI and IVF to have my children. It eventually caused the demise of my marriage. I am so glad there is help for this today. Thank you for being a voice for this heartbreaking condition.
Thanks so much for talking about this! I have had vaginismus since I was 22 (I'm 34 now), and have been through all the things - talk therapy, pelvic floor physical therapy, dilators, etc. and although I have made progress, it's still very much a problem. You are so lucky to have an understanding and supportive partner who is willing to go to therapy and work on it with you!!!! What a treasure! I didn't have that and I think that's a big reason why I haven't been able to get over it. And I've been single now for a while because trying to date is so daunting because of this issue! I really appreciate you openly addressing it, because I think there are probably a lot more women going through this than we realize, but it's such a taboo topic that no one talks about it. And I can definitely identify with the anxiety you feel around any physical intimacy leading to sex - that has been such a huge issue for me, too. So it's nice to know I am not alone, and I know many other women will feel this way after watching this video. Thank you!
Your story reminded me so so much of my own. I could never use a tampon and asked myself if it was normal. Then I just avoided thinking about it (subconsciously, I knew that something was wrong) until I tried to have penetrative sex the first time and realised wtf, I literally don’t have that body opening right now. I never met someone sharing my experiences, so this video is a huge help! In a world full of casual sex, being a sex positive who is not able to freely enjoy sex truly sucks. Especially if you would like to have intimate relationships (in a bodily way), it just scares the shit out of you that you don’t “work” like everyone else. Thank you for sharing your journey! :)
God I’m at the there is something subconsciously wrong stage right now. I can barely fit a finger down there, and I know that shouldn’t be. I’m really thankful that she would share this, and there are others who share this anxiety. Let’s all hope the best for ourselves!
You have done women a great service by sharing your story. I am on OB-GYN and have seen and helped many patients. These women feel isolated and embarrassed in our sex-positive culture. They wonder why it seems so easy for others, and hear harmful advice like “just drink a glass of wine” or “just keep trying.. the first time is often painful”. These patients are NOT alone , since vaginismus is not uncommon. There is embarrassment in seeking help because of the contrast with popular culture. You are right when you say we must teach children about sex differently. Christians are taught that sex should be reserved for marriage. Indeed, a stable marriage is the best environment to raise emotionally healthy children. But in advising our teen daughters we should emphasize that sex is good and pleasurable, and is a gift to married people. It is not shameful, and in teaching abstinence we should not imply that it should be. It is a gift from God which we should enjoy in the right place. I would advise any woman with sexual pain to see a gynecologist early on. She should tell the doctor in advance that she has been unable to use a tampon, etc. Then the doctor will be prepared to do a gentle exam, and even if it takes a few visits, limit initial exam to the extent that the patient can experience without pain. If she cannot tolerate an exam, an ultrasound can be used to painlessly image the anatomy. A urine sample can rule out infection. An external exam can rule out hymen abnormalities, which can obstruct the vagina, and which can be surgically corrected (under anesthesia of course). Besides pelvic floor physical therapy and dilators, we can prescribe local anesthetic gel that can be applied prior to working with dilators. The main thing is to allow patients control over how much contact she can tolerate. I think it is also important to encourage couples to engage in physical contact with the clear expectation that attempts at intercourse are not to be done. Some couples have to practice holding hands, cuddling, dancing, and physical closeness without thinking that touch is only to be used in foreplay. All human beings need physical contact, and if the spouse is trustworthy, he will know that patience and little steps will be more likely to lead to mutually enjoyable sexual relationships and a marriage built on trust. Trying to force the issue will be a huge setback in the goal of attaining sexual intimacy. Keep up the good work.
Your humility, vulnerability & courage is so inspiring. Thanks for opening up conversations on a difficult topic with such elegance, loads of girls will be so fortunate and lucky to find this video! Game changer!
@@manahilsaeed5609 I know you didn’t ask me but I was wondering the same thing. I think for most girls is curable, what I’m trying to do myself is use physical therapy (at home) like using dilators or tampons, doing yoga for pelvic floor, try to take this the best way possible if you’re going through it alone like I am, even though it’s hard try to relax and work on it as much as you can because it will help to have consistency
Thank you for this video.. I really helped me feel okay about myself... Hoping everyone who goes through this gets through it soon and is able to live a more fulfilling life the way they would love... ❤
You completely captured my current experience so far in my own marriage! I find that sometimes the mental/emotional pain surpasses the physical pain for me. I was shocked with how deep the mental pain went, to the extent that it was affecting me throughout my day and I would sometimes step away from my work desk and just cry. I think that part of my anxiety around sex stemmed from religious beliefs as well and how sex can often be viewed negatively. I have had to do a lot of re-learning around sex, and my husband and I are still working through it. It is encouraging to hear someone else's current experience and know that I am not alone, and I pray that you and your husband are doing better :)
Greetings from Japan. I am also married and have been struggling to overcome vaginismus. Respect your courage to share your story with us! I have a different cultural background, but I recognize some parallels with you. I also have had negative feelings about sex since childhood. My doctor suggests I am obsessed with irrational fear about penetrating. Irrational may be, but I haven't yet set myself free from this invisible hurdle. It does exist. Now I realize how "fear" can be such a massive, overwhelming feeling....
Thank you for kind words, my girlfriend is have problems with this, and you words is helping her right now, I'm gonna support her because I really really love my sweetheart🥺
Hi Haley ! May I ask you how you got diagnosed? I think I have this but the last time I brought it up to my gynecologist she just said to see a therapist but didn’t say for what exactly
First of all, Lucy I want to thank you for making this video 😊 I am so grateful that you decided to share your personal experience considering that when I was also searching information about vaginismus I could find nothing and felt very much alone. You don't know how much you helped me and I assume so many other people, at least to feel less alone 💖🌻 I just wanted to add that in certain countries like mine it's practically impossible to find a psychosexual therapist, so that can be very frustrating and discouraging. Also, and this is only my personal experience, whilst searching for the dilators you mentioned, they were simply abnormally expensive! Not mentioning the shipping cost. Something that has helped me physically are pelvic floor exercises on TH-cam, especially this channel: The Flower Empowered. I just wanted to put this channel out there in case it could help anyone else, and preface the importance of going to a regular psychologist/therapist anyway, if possible in your area, and if you already can't go to a psychosexual therapist, because any mental work is so valuable. 🌈💞🌼 Thank you Lucy for this great video!
Just went to my first pelvic floor therapy appointment today. I was so anxious but ended up surprised at how well the appointment went. Nothing like a Pap smear, which had always been an excruciating experience for me lol. Excited to keep working on my own anxiety- along with the physical therapy work, I am so hopeful now. I really hope you continue to progress and you and Noah’s relationship continues to grow in new and exciting way. Thanks so much for reassuring other women that their not alone. Beta of luck! ❤️❤️
Hey, just wanted to say that there is a similar condition in men. It's mainly called chronic pelvic pain syndrome (CPPS) and as somebody that suffers from it, I deeply relate to the feelings you shared. Especially as a 20-something person, sex is a huge topic anytime, even if you're not in a relationship or not dating. Just mentally knowing that there's something wrong with you down there is immensely stressful and it's hard to really accept it. I'm currently starting my path to recovery and I'm already feeling a bit better about myself, both mentally and physically but there are days when it all comes back. I think the worst thing about it is feeling alone, because it's not an everyday condition and you can't just talk to most people about it openly. Sometimes I wish I just had a broken arm because then I'd at least know how my path to recovery looks like and other people would understand what's going on. But I know it will get better if I put in the work. So thank you, Lucy, for sharing your experience and for shining a light on this condition. And to everybody that is in a similar place (men or women): You're not alone and we'll get through this! ☺✊
Hey man thanks for the comment. I'm also suffering from CPPS. Reading your comment gave me a lot of confidence.Im not all alone in this world with this issue.can u tell me what do u do for recovery from CPPS
@@abhishekmaurya1642 Thanks for your comment. Yep, this condition sucks. But you are not alone and you got this - I wish you all the best! I'm currently trying to figure out what really helps me. I went to physiotherapy and I just started a breath biofeedback therapy. Generally, I try to work on my posture, I try to do yoga (certain yoga poses from yin yoga help quite well) and I try to do reverse kegels. I will probably also start behavioral therapy soon to battle the mental part of this condition. I still haven't made long-term progress though so it's still very disruptive to my life and very annoying. But I'm confident that it will get better!
Really proud of you Lucy - thank you for sharing this video and shedding light on something that is so often overlooked and not talked about. How incredible of you to share your journey - I have no doubt at all that you have now helped (& educated) countless others and I hope you are so proud of yourself for that ✨ Keep doing amazing things girly 💕 xxx
Your are a gem! I have had this for years. So painful, it has affected my whole life. I agree with all of what you are saying. It has affected our marriage. You are young and beautiful. So glad you are sharing!!
Thank you so much for sharing! I’ve just started my journey after recently being diagnosed with vaginismus and I’ve been desperate to find someone relatable! All I’ve been able to find is very factual/clinical stand points and it was lovely to listen to your story and finally feel less alone in this crazy journey! ♥️ X
i also had vaginismus, and my previous partner was lovely about it, we were together for 3 years but never did anything cus of my vaginismus. He was patient but because the relationship was toxic and he was cheating a lot I think this was why it never happened. My vaginismus was bad during that relationship, i never put anything inside me not even fingers. deep down i never truly trusted him. in the end he left me and months later i met a very secure walking green flag man. It just happened with him, my vaginismus was no longer a problem lol, ofc at first it hurt but i just trusted him so much with everything i was so confident he'd never leave me
Have been suffering w this for a while, had no idea what it was…..it’s horrific..I actually bleed and my skin splits inside an out….I even ripped my episiotomy scar from first daughter..she’s turning 39…I was in shock, my husband too…I hate sex am in my late sixties…it also hurts to wipe or clean yourself….so glad I found this, an am not alone…Patricia
Love this, thanks so much. I was diagnosed 3 years ago and started PT 3 weeks ago. I'm a Christian and can relate so much to what you're saying. Praying for you both!
Thanks so much for this. We have a similar Christian upbringing and I am struggling with this since we got married in Summer last year. Thanks so.much for bringing a UK perspective to this - I've been so anxious about going to the doctor as I had no idea how the NHS would treat it, or even the wait times (as much of what I read is how people in the US deal with it)
So incredibly proud of you for sharing this Luc!! You’re amazing and you are going to help soo many girls with this! Your vulnerability to share this is beautiful, you are so beautiful inside and out! Thank you for sharing and educating me on this 💛💛💛
My partner and I was feeling so desperate after the first try. He told me that there was something like a wall down there. I have never used tampon or anything else to penetrate down there (who would know, right?) I didn't even knew how it should be... Right now I still struggle with this, my relationship may end because of that anxiety. And that gives me more anxiety! Thank you for sharing your experience, this takes courage. You are a beautiful woman and I think your husband is lucky to have you too 😉✨
I was diagnosed with this in April after having issues for years. My fiance and I have been together for almost 10 years and it's definitely caused some issues between us at times. I start therapy in a couple weeks so I'm scared about that but also just glad to finally get answers and have a way to fix my body. I don't know anyone else who has had this issue so I've had people telling me for years that I just needed to do it or whatever just use pads or it's obvious you want him just jump his bones already. It was nice to see this video and know that I'm not alone. Thank you for that
You are great! Thank your for sharing! I know from my own experience it is not always easy but it does help a lot to see that you are not alone and that there are ways to get through it. I also notice women with vaginismus are way more informed about sex and know better what they want and communicate it more openly with their partners. Wish you two all the best!
Thanks for posting this. I’ve been feeling really overwhelmed and alone about my Pelvic pain, so this has been amazing to see someone else around my age with it, which is also married. ❤️
I have felt so alone and broken for so long, not knowing what is wrong with me. I’m literally crying now finding out that I’m not alone and it can be fixed
Thank you for sharing your personal experience with vaginismus. Your video was reassuring. And I Hope there is more awareness on this subject for females.
Thank you sharing this.😔 I got divorced few years back And I believe maybe this could be the reason. I really loved that man but still wasnot able to have any kind of intimacy. I donot know how to resolve this problem. But I donot want to repeat this ever again if I got married.
@@mariaali423 good luck, I pray it works out. currently going through the same, do remember me in your prayers please (if you don’t mind) it’s made my life a living hell, I’m glad I found out in time without wasting years, it’s been almost 7 months of my marriage, I’ll visit the doctor soon for any PT or other required treatments!
i’m really struggling with my self esteem because of this right now. i feel so guilty and like im disappointing my partner, it’s very relieving to hear about other people that relate though.
Thank you for sharing your experience. I don’t feel alone 😭💛 I’ll pray for you and your hubby too. It’s not easy but I know God is sovereign even over this
Thank you for sharing your experience. This is really helpful. Exactly what I'm going through right now. I am a newlywed lady who haven't tried s*x because I believe its for married couple. We were just married for 8 months now and haven't done THAT. The struggle is real. I am starting to hate my body for betraying me. 😭
It's so mentally draining and demoralising. I have always felt like I knew plenty about sex and penetration. Never had an issue putting a finger on or having a partner do it. However, since I've been married it's been a few weeks and we still are hitting a wall....
Thankyou for making this video ☺️ I swear I’ve got this but I’m not sure.. I could never use a tampon like I tried but every time I moved it was painful.. I don’t know what to do 🙈 I feel like it’ll never get easier 🙈
Thank you so much for sharing this. It helps me not feel so alone through this process. My husband and I waited to be married to share Gods covenant in marriage and I recently was diagnosed with vaginismus. I appreciate your vulnerability and sharing the Godly aspect on it as well. I am now going to doctors getting the proper help. Did you state you went to a PT? I’ve heard of possibly going to one but I have not brought myself to find one.
The problem starts when sex is only viewed as penetration. All the other things you can do without penetration are still sex, its not a one or nothing thing.
Yes I agree and I would say that having vaginismus has made me think a lot about why do I want penetrative sex. However, I think it is also important to note that for some penetration is necessary - if you want to have children for example, or a smear test, or even if you just want to experience it for example! Knowing it's a long healing process means you might want to work on it before you want to have children. You can have vaginismus and have (non-pentrative) sex, though for some the spiral of anxiety that can come with vaginismus can affect your ability to have any level (or up to a certain level) of intimacy.
@@Guguchina No I agree! I dont think it should not be adressed. But I think it reduces the stigma around vaginismus und stops this hyperfocusation on penetration (in heterosexual relationships). I felt like a broken women for a very long time. I thought that if I cant have penetration I cant have sex because sex=penetration, everything else is just "less". And I believed that no man would except having "no sex". So I also told guys that I was dating "well I cant have sex". Only when I started working with a therapist and she told me "well you can have sex, you can be sexual" I realized that I was narrowing down sex so much and that is really harmful. I think it really does reduce the anxiety around vaginismus if we stop viewing penetration as the one and only thing. Its easier to work towards penetretion when we dont believe that we are "sexless" without it. Lets be more open about sex without penetration and just view other things as equally good and beautiful and not just "less" or a compromise. This whole thing comes from the idea of virginity and that is totally fucked up. No wonder most women with vaginismus come from very strict households.
That question can only be properly answerd when the cause has been recognized. Working on the cause is the key to healing. And there may be several causes.
Yes. It doesn’t affect the blood flow, but it certainly affects what you can use for it product-wise. Tampons aren’t likely to go up there, let alone a menstrual cup. But vaginismus is more an issue I notice myself when I try to put things up there (the tension is normal background noise for me. If I’m not busy, I notice it, but if I’m doing stuff, it’s at the back of my mind). It doesn’t stop a slippery liquid from coming out though.
how do i know if i have vaginismus? i’ve never had sex and ik discomfort/ pain during intercourse are symptoms and so i’ve only experienced discomfort while insuring a tampon and while masturbating. help?
Can you please tell me do you know it before having sex ?! I have hypertonic pelvic floor the doctor told me I have vaginismu but I didn’t try it yet I mean sex can we have it without having sex
I know I’m not the person you’re asking, but if I may input my experience as someone who also had it and recovered, I didn’t get an official diagnosis until I tried unsuccessfully to have sex. But I suspected something was wrong well before that because I couldn’t get a tampon in without pain and I knew that wasn’t normal. So, yes, I think it’s entirely possible to know you have it prior to engaging in penetrative sex.
As a virgin with vaginismus, you can know before vaginal sex. Really, I recommend just trying to stick a finger up there. As blunt as I can put it, masturbation is the best way to figure out your body. If you're comfortable, lubricated, etc and cannot stick your pinky up your vagina, I would say there's a good chance you have vaginismus.
I’m 54. Dealing with it surrounding menopause and dryness. I just want to say thanks for this but at the same time your video is a case study for sex education and a case against religion trying to control people especially women. Sorry!!!
I think I have vaginismus like i literally have everything that they say but im in a relationship and i literally dont want it at all 😕 I understand that yk accept urselves and love urselves but i really do not want it, I really need help curing it
How did you find your psychosexual therapist? I don't know what country you're in, but how were the finances of it? I was diagnosed Sept 2020 and I want to work on it but I cannot find a sex therapist who accepts my insurance.
I developed vaginismus in 1987. I had no idea what it was or why it was happening. There was nothing to read, no one to talk to. Out of desperation, I went to several gynecologists and none of them knew what it was. I was asked if I had been sexually abused as a child, (no), told to drink alcohol before sex and basically not offered any help at all. I needed IUI and IVF to have my children. It eventually caused the demise of my marriage. I am so glad there is help for this today. Thank you for being a voice for this heartbreaking condition.
Can I ask what happened with you today?
Thanks so much for talking about this! I have had vaginismus since I was 22 (I'm 34 now), and have been through all the things - talk therapy, pelvic floor physical therapy, dilators, etc. and although I have made progress, it's still very much a problem. You are so lucky to have an understanding and supportive partner who is willing to go to therapy and work on it with you!!!! What a treasure! I didn't have that and I think that's a big reason why I haven't been able to get over it. And I've been single now for a while because trying to date is so daunting because of this issue! I really appreciate you openly addressing it, because I think there are probably a lot more women going through this than we realize, but it's such a taboo topic that no one talks about it. And I can definitely identify with the anxiety you feel around any physical intimacy leading to sex - that has been such a huge issue for me, too. So it's nice to know I am not alone, and I know many other women will feel this way after watching this video. Thank you!
Your story reminded me so so much of my own. I could never use a tampon and asked myself if it was normal. Then I just avoided thinking about it (subconsciously, I knew that something was wrong) until I tried to have penetrative sex the first time and realised wtf, I literally don’t have that body opening right now. I never met someone sharing my experiences, so this video is a huge help! In a world full of casual sex, being a sex positive who is not able to freely enjoy sex truly sucks. Especially if you would like to have intimate relationships (in a bodily way), it just scares the shit out of you that you don’t “work” like everyone else. Thank you for sharing your journey! :)
God I’m at the there is something subconsciously wrong stage right now. I can barely fit a finger down there, and I know that shouldn’t be. I’m really thankful that she would share this, and there are others who share this anxiety. Let’s all hope the best for ourselves!
That's 100% me what you just wrote. I could never relate more
As a boyfriend going through same journey with my most awesome girlfriend, thank you.
she's lucky to have you
You have done women a great service by sharing your story. I am on OB-GYN and have seen and helped many patients. These women feel isolated and embarrassed in our sex-positive culture. They wonder why it seems so easy for others, and hear harmful advice like “just drink a glass of wine” or “just keep trying.. the first time is often painful”. These patients are NOT alone , since vaginismus is not uncommon. There is embarrassment in seeking help because of the contrast with popular culture.
You are right when you say we must teach children about sex differently. Christians are taught that sex should be reserved for marriage. Indeed, a stable marriage is the best environment to raise emotionally healthy children. But in advising our teen daughters we should emphasize that sex is good and pleasurable, and is a gift to married people. It is not shameful, and in teaching abstinence we should not imply that it should be. It is a gift from God which we should enjoy in the right place.
I would advise any woman with sexual pain to see a gynecologist early on. She should tell the doctor in advance that she has been unable to use a tampon, etc. Then the doctor will be prepared to do a gentle exam, and even if it takes a few visits, limit initial exam to the extent that the patient can experience without pain. If she cannot tolerate an exam, an ultrasound can be used to painlessly image the anatomy. A urine sample can rule out infection. An external exam can rule out hymen abnormalities, which can obstruct the vagina, and which can be surgically corrected (under anesthesia of course). Besides pelvic floor physical therapy and dilators, we can prescribe local anesthetic gel that can be applied prior to working with dilators. The main thing is to allow patients control over how much contact she can tolerate.
I think it is also important to encourage couples to engage in physical contact with the clear expectation that attempts at intercourse are not to be done. Some couples have to practice holding hands, cuddling, dancing, and physical closeness without thinking that touch is only to be used in foreplay. All human beings need physical contact, and if the spouse is trustworthy, he will know that patience and little steps will be more likely to lead to mutually enjoyable sexual relationships and a marriage built on trust. Trying to force the issue will be a huge setback in the goal of attaining sexual intimacy.
Keep up the good work.
Your humility, vulnerability & courage is so inspiring. Thanks for opening up conversations on a difficult topic with such elegance, loads of girls will be so fortunate and lucky to find this video! Game changer!
Ah thank you lovely xx
i live in a country where vaginismus is not a common thing to be talked about, this video made me feel less alone with this challenge in life.
Hey, have you been able to cure your vaginismus?
Hi can I help
@@manahilsaeed5609 I know you didn’t ask me but I was wondering the same thing. I think for most girls is curable, what I’m trying to do myself is use physical therapy (at home) like using dilators or tampons, doing yoga for pelvic floor, try to take this the best way possible if you’re going through it alone like I am, even though it’s hard try to relax and work on it as much as you can because it will help to have consistency
@@arpitsri9631plz help
Thank you for this video Lucy! I’m 22 & currently struggling with vaginismus & it’s SO helpful to hear about your story! Thank you for your bravery 💕
Right there with you gal! We got this 🙌🏼❤️
Thank you for this video.. I really helped me feel okay about myself... Hoping everyone who goes through this gets through it soon and is able to live a more fulfilling life the way they would love... ❤
Use homeopathy itll be fine
You completely captured my current experience so far in my own marriage! I find that sometimes the mental/emotional pain surpasses the physical pain for me. I was shocked with how deep the mental pain went, to the extent that it was affecting me throughout my day and I would sometimes step away from my work desk and just cry. I think that part of my anxiety around sex stemmed from religious beliefs as well and how sex can often be viewed negatively. I have had to do a lot of re-learning around sex, and my husband and I are still working through it. It is encouraging to hear someone else's current experience and know that I am not alone, and I pray that you and your husband are doing better :)
Greetings from Japan. I am also married and have been struggling to overcome vaginismus. Respect your courage to share your story with us! I have a different cultural background, but I recognize some parallels with you. I also have had negative feelings about sex since childhood. My doctor suggests I am obsessed with irrational fear about penetrating.
Irrational may be, but I haven't yet set myself free from this invisible hurdle. It does exist.
Now I realize how "fear" can be such a massive, overwhelming feeling....
Thank you for kind words, my girlfriend is have problems with this, and you words is helping her right now, I'm gonna support her because I really really love my sweetheart🥺
Just got diagnosed today, this was so helpful and encouraging to hear your story. Thanks for sharing!
Hi Haley ! May I ask you how you got diagnosed? I think I have this but the last time I brought it up to my gynecologist she just said to see a therapist but didn’t say for what exactly
First of all, Lucy I want to thank you for making this video 😊 I am so grateful that you decided to share your personal experience considering that when I was also searching information about vaginismus I could find nothing and felt very much alone. You don't know how much you helped me and I assume so many other people, at least to feel less alone 💖🌻 I just wanted to add that in certain countries like mine it's practically impossible to find a psychosexual therapist, so that can be very frustrating and discouraging. Also, and this is only my personal experience, whilst searching for the dilators you mentioned, they were simply abnormally expensive! Not mentioning the shipping cost. Something that has helped me physically are pelvic floor exercises on TH-cam, especially this channel: The Flower Empowered. I just wanted to put this channel out there in case it could help anyone else, and preface the importance of going to a regular psychologist/therapist anyway, if possible in your area, and if you already can't go to a psychosexual therapist, because any mental work is so valuable. 🌈💞🌼 Thank you Lucy for this great video!
Hi can I help you
this helps more ppl than you intended thank you
Just went to my first pelvic floor therapy appointment today. I was so anxious but ended up surprised at how well the appointment went. Nothing like a Pap smear, which had always been an excruciating experience for me lol. Excited to keep working on my own anxiety- along with the physical therapy work, I am so hopeful now. I really hope you continue to progress and you and Noah’s relationship continues to grow in new and exciting way. Thanks so much for reassuring other women that their not alone. Beta of luck! ❤️❤️
Are you healed?
hi, did you make any progress, my sister just diagnosed today and im really stressed
Hey, just wanted to say that there is a similar condition in men. It's mainly called chronic pelvic pain syndrome (CPPS) and as somebody that suffers from it, I deeply relate to the feelings you shared. Especially as a 20-something person, sex is a huge topic anytime, even if you're not in a relationship or not dating. Just mentally knowing that there's something wrong with you down there is immensely stressful and it's hard to really accept it. I'm currently starting my path to recovery and I'm already feeling a bit better about myself, both mentally and physically but there are days when it all comes back. I think the worst thing about it is feeling alone, because it's not an everyday condition and you can't just talk to most people about it openly. Sometimes I wish I just had a broken arm because then I'd at least know how my path to recovery looks like and other people would understand what's going on. But I know it will get better if I put in the work. So thank you, Lucy, for sharing your experience and for shining a light on this condition. And to everybody that is in a similar place (men or women): You're not alone and we'll get through this! ☺✊
Thank you for spreading awareness:) I wish you the best Eric!
Hey man thanks for the comment. I'm also suffering from CPPS. Reading your comment gave me a lot of confidence.Im not all alone in this world with this issue.can u tell me what do u do for recovery from CPPS
@@abhishekmaurya1642 Thanks for your comment. Yep, this condition sucks. But you are not alone and you got this - I wish you all the best!
I'm currently trying to figure out what really helps me. I went to physiotherapy and I just started a breath biofeedback therapy. Generally, I try to work on my posture, I try to do yoga (certain yoga poses from yin yoga help quite well) and I try to do reverse kegels. I will probably also start behavioral therapy soon to battle the mental part of this condition. I still haven't made long-term progress though so it's still very disruptive to my life and very annoying. But I'm confident that it will get better!
Really proud of you Lucy - thank you for sharing this video and shedding light on something that is so often overlooked and not talked about. How incredible of you to share your journey - I have no doubt at all that you have now helped (& educated) countless others and I hope you are so proud of yourself for that ✨ Keep doing amazing things girly 💕 xxx
Love ya gal!!!!❤️❤️
Your are a gem! I have had this for years. So painful, it has affected my whole life. I agree with all of what you are saying. It has affected our marriage. You are young and beautiful. So glad you are sharing!!
Thank you so much for sharing! I’ve just started my journey after recently being diagnosed with vaginismus and I’ve been desperate to find someone relatable! All I’ve been able to find is very factual/clinical stand points and it was lovely to listen to your story and finally feel less alone in this crazy journey! ♥️ X
Sorry you’re in the same boat but we got this💪🏻 always here if you want a chat ❤️
Are you healed ?
Found this video out of nowhere. I love hearing you talking.
Thank you so much for this I’ve just got diagnosed with it and I’m so anxious about the journey ahead 😢
i also had vaginismus, and my previous partner was lovely about it, we were together for 3 years but never did anything cus of my vaginismus. He was patient but because the relationship was toxic and he was cheating a lot I think this was why it never happened. My vaginismus was bad during that relationship, i never put anything inside me not even fingers.
deep down i never truly trusted him. in the end he left me and months later i met a very secure walking green flag man. It just happened with him, my vaginismus was no longer a problem lol, ofc at first it hurt but i just trusted him so much with everything i was so confident he'd never leave me
Have been suffering w this for a while, had no idea what it was…..it’s horrific..I actually bleed and my skin splits inside an out….I even ripped my episiotomy scar from first daughter..she’s turning 39…I was in shock, my husband too…I hate sex am in my late sixties…it also hurts to wipe or clean yourself….so glad I found this, an am not alone…Patricia
Love this, thanks so much. I was diagnosed 3 years ago and started PT 3 weeks ago. I'm a Christian and can relate so much to what you're saying. Praying for you both!
Hi can I help
I was diagnosed with vaginismus yesterday. This was an amazing video 🙌 I don’t feel alone in my journey :)
I’ve just started my journey after being diagnosed recently too!
Never feel alone! You’ve got this💪🏻❤️
What treatment dr suggest you?
@@donna8515 which treatment you got?
@@me4everhappy Currently using vaginal dilators and therapy
Thank you for this. I have put a request to see a doctor about this after struggling in silence for 10 years
Thanks so much for this. We have a similar Christian upbringing and I am struggling with this since we got married in Summer last year.
Thanks so.much for bringing a UK perspective to this - I've been so anxious about going to the doctor as I had no idea how the NHS would treat it, or even the wait times (as much of what I read is how people in the US deal with it)
Love your honesty & vulnerability Luc, Jo and I are cheering you both on & loving seeing you both grow! ❤️
Ah bless you guys! Thank you!!
So incredibly proud of you for sharing this Luc!! You’re amazing and you are going to help soo many girls with this! Your vulnerability to share this is beautiful, you are so beautiful inside and out! Thank you for sharing and educating me on this 💛💛💛
Love you so much ❤️❤️
My partner and I was feeling so desperate after the first try. He told me that there was something like a wall down there. I have never used tampon or anything else to penetrate down there (who would know, right?) I didn't even knew how it should be... Right now I still struggle with this, my relationship may end because of that anxiety. And that gives me more anxiety!
Thank you for sharing your experience, this takes courage. You are a beautiful woman and I think your husband is lucky to have you too 😉✨
I was diagnosed with this in April after having issues for years. My fiance and I have been together for almost 10 years and it's definitely caused some issues between us at times. I start therapy in a couple weeks so I'm scared about that but also just glad to finally get answers and have a way to fix my body. I don't know anyone else who has had this issue so I've had people telling me for years that I just needed to do it or whatever just use pads or it's obvious you want him just jump his bones already. It was nice to see this video and know that I'm not alone. Thank you for that
hi , did you make any progress, my sister just got diagnosed and im really stressed
You are great! Thank your for sharing! I know from my own experience it is not always easy but it does help a lot to see that you are not alone and that there are ways to get through it. I also notice women with vaginismus are way more informed about sex and know better what they want and communicate it more openly with their partners. Wish you two all the best!
Thanks for posting this. I’ve been feeling really overwhelmed and alone about my Pelvic pain, so this has been amazing to see someone else around my age with it, which is also married.
❤️
Never alone! Hope you get the right help and support you need to take care of yourself ❤️
I have felt so alone and broken for so long, not knowing what is wrong with me. I’m literally crying now finding out that I’m not alone and it can be fixed
This is so helpful, I feel less alone.
Thank you for sharing your personal experience with vaginismus. Your video was reassuring. And I Hope there is more awareness on this subject for females.
Thank you sharing this.😔 I got divorced few years back And I believe maybe this could be the reason. I really loved that man but still wasnot able to have any kind of intimacy. I donot know how to resolve this problem. But I donot want to repeat this ever again if I got married.
This was incredibly helpful. Thank you so much
I’m so pleased! Thank you for commenting!
I have been married for two years and suffer from vaginismus. I can't train with my husband. This is exhausting. I want a solution to this disease
Hi have you been able to cure?
@@manahilsaeed5609 No, I have not been treated yet, but after a month I have a vaginal Botox session. I hope to get relief from this problem
@@mariaali423 good luck, I pray it works out. currently going through the same, do remember me in your prayers please (if you don’t mind) it’s made my life a living hell, I’m glad I found out in time without wasting years, it’s been almost 7 months of my marriage, I’ll visit the doctor soon for any PT or other required treatments!
@@mariaali423 hi a hi c
@@mariaali423 hi a hi c
Thank you for sharing your experience ♥️♥️
i’m really struggling with my self esteem because of this right now. i feel so guilty and like im disappointing my partner, it’s very relieving to hear about other people that relate though.
Thank you for sharing your experience. I don’t feel alone 😭💛 I’ll pray for you and your hubby too. It’s not easy but I know God is sovereign even over this
Thank you for sharing your experience. This is really helpful. Exactly what I'm going through right now. I am a newlywed lady who haven't tried s*x because I believe its for married couple.
We were just married for 8 months now and haven't done THAT. The struggle is real. I am starting to hate my body for betraying me. 😭
Hi can I help you
It's so mentally draining and demoralising. I have always felt like I knew plenty about sex and penetration. Never had an issue putting a finger on or having a partner do it. However, since I've been married it's been a few weeks and we still are hitting a wall....
Thankyou for making this video ☺️ I swear I’ve got this but I’m not sure.. I could never use a tampon like I tried but every time I moved it was painful.. I don’t know what to do 🙈 I feel like it’ll never get easier 🙈
Thank you so much for sharing this. It helps me not feel so alone through this process. My husband and I waited to be married to share Gods covenant in marriage and I recently was diagnosed with vaginismus. I appreciate your vulnerability and sharing the Godly aspect on it as well. I am now going to doctors getting the proper help. Did you state you went to a PT? I’ve heard of possibly going to one but I have not brought myself to find one.
The problem starts when sex is only viewed as penetration. All the other things you can do without penetration are still sex, its not a one or nothing thing.
It’s a very complex thing but language around this is super important :)
Yes I agree and I would say that having vaginismus has made me think a lot about why do I want penetrative sex. However, I think it is also important to note that for some penetration is necessary - if you want to have children for example, or a smear test, or even if you just want to experience it for example! Knowing it's a long healing process means you might want to work on it before you want to have children. You can have vaginismus and have (non-pentrative) sex, though for some the spiral of anxiety that can come with vaginismus can affect your ability to have any level (or up to a certain level) of intimacy.
@@Guguchina No I agree! I dont think it should not be adressed. But I think it reduces the stigma around vaginismus und stops this hyperfocusation on penetration (in heterosexual relationships). I felt like a broken women for a very long time. I thought that if I cant have penetration I cant have sex because sex=penetration, everything else is just "less". And I believed that no man would except having "no sex". So I also told guys that I was dating "well I cant have sex". Only when I started working with a therapist and she told me "well you can have sex, you can be sexual" I realized that I was narrowing down sex so much and that is really harmful. I think it really does reduce the anxiety around vaginismus if we stop viewing penetration as the one and only thing. Its easier to work towards penetretion when we dont believe that we are "sexless" without it.
Lets be more open about sex without penetration and just view other things as equally good and beautiful and not just "less" or a compromise.
This whole thing comes from the idea of virginity and that is totally fucked up. No wonder most women with vaginismus come from very strict households.
yeah i agree with you but the majority of men wants penetrative sex so it is always there the expactation..
We all understand this, but some of actually WANT to have penetrative sex. Hope this helps.
informative and useful . thanks for sharing
How would you get through pregnancy with this?
Hi can I help
@@arpitsri9631 can u answer my question?
@@ADyingFaith yes you have Instagram
Has anyone here been able to get rid of Vaginismus? Or worked through it?
That question can only be properly answerd when the cause has been recognized. Working on the cause is the key to healing. And there may be several causes.
You are amazing Lucy 💛
Ah just doing my bit. Thanks sweet xx
Thank you.
Hi thank you so I have this vaginisum and is killing my marriage I have been married for 23 I still have it I feel like I am not normal ❤❤❤
Are you doing exercises?
Was it due to religion, my gf has the same issue as she is from a very religious background
so proud of you! this video will help so many people, wishing you all the best with your journey 🤍
Thanks gorgeous❤️
Can you have this condition and still get your period?
Yes. It doesn’t affect the blood flow, but it certainly affects what you can use for it product-wise. Tampons aren’t likely to go up there, let alone a menstrual cup. But vaginismus is more an issue I notice myself when I try to put things up there (the tension is normal background noise for me. If I’m not busy, I notice it, but if I’m doing stuff, it’s at the back of my mind). It doesn’t stop a slippery liquid from coming out though.
how do i know if i have vaginismus? i’ve never had sex and ik discomfort/ pain during intercourse are symptoms and so i’ve only experienced discomfort while insuring a tampon and while masturbating. help?
I'd recommend talking to a OBGYN at an appointment
Can you please tell me do you know it before having sex ?! I have hypertonic pelvic floor the doctor told me I have vaginismu but I didn’t try it yet I mean sex can we have it without having sex
I know I’m not the person you’re asking, but if I may input my experience as someone who also had it and recovered, I didn’t get an official diagnosis until I tried unsuccessfully to have sex. But I suspected something was wrong well before that because I couldn’t get a tampon in without pain and I knew that wasn’t normal. So, yes, I think it’s entirely possible to know you have it prior to engaging in penetrative sex.
As a virgin with vaginismus, you can know before vaginal sex. Really, I recommend just trying to stick a finger up there. As blunt as I can put it, masturbation is the best way to figure out your body. If you're comfortable, lubricated, etc and cannot stick your pinky up your vagina, I would say there's a good chance you have vaginismus.
I’m 54. Dealing with it surrounding menopause and dryness. I just want to say thanks for this but at the same time your video is a case study for sex education and a case against religion trying to control people especially women. Sorry!!!
I think I have vaginismus like i literally have everything that they say but im in a relationship and i literally dont want it at all 😕 I understand that yk accept urselves and love urselves but i really do not want it, I really need help curing it
there are several pelvic exercises, but i think you do need to talk to a specialist/obgyn
How did you find your psychosexual therapist? I don't know what country you're in, but how were the finances of it? I was diagnosed Sept 2020 and I want to work on it but I cannot find a sex therapist who accepts my insurance.
Cant speak for her for sure, but I think she is from UK - meaning she had access to the NHS for free healthcare.
❤
Use homepathic medicines you will be fine