MY PERSONAL STRUGGLE TO OVERCOME VAGINISMUS
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 6 ก.ย. 2024
- In this video, I talk about my experience of losing my virginity to my husband. I open up to talk about my personal struggle to overcome a condition called vaginismus. I couldn't have sex with my husband for a long time after we got married.
Unfortunately talking about sex is still quite a taboo topic in the muslim community. It doesn't need to be. I decided to do this video in case anyone else is struggling with this. Know that you are not alone and that you can overcome it!
I had no idea that what I was going through was called vaginismus. When I found out, I was determined to overcome it. I talk about my personal story and experience and what I used to help me overcome this condition. I hope you find benefit in this video.
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I have been dealing with this for years with my husband and am just now realizing that this is what it is, and it’s so helpful to know that there are so many other women going through it. You are bringing me so much peace in this journey, thank you for sharing and putting yourself out there. 🥰
I had this too.. Silicone dilators helped me a lot..
Why didn't you every control you gyn doctor
@@pooja__894 it's ok use lignocaine gel and medical grade silicone dilators.. u will be ok soon..
@@pooja__894 no it won't pain at all if u use lignocaine gel beforehand. Try with dilators. Use lots of gel 1st few days while using dilators. Trust me dilators help a lot. They give us confidence.
@@pooja__894 my replies are getting deleted automatically. I don't know why.
Your actually very fucking brave like wow well done for bringing light to a sensitive topic and condition Mashallah.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. Only people who actually went through that can truly understand how real the problem is.
You're more than welcome dear! Since posting this video, I've had so many women reach out to me to help them overcome vaginismus. If you're interested, I'm doing a free live online training next week called Fearless Painless First-Time Sex. This is the link to reserve your spot for the free training: www.amirahzaky.com/firsttimesex
Sri A i m going through please help
@@munazzayousuf1135 please email me amirah@amirahzaky.com or message me on Instagram
I am also going through this problem vaginusmus
I cried watching this and listening to your story because it’s sounds so much like what my boyfriend and I are going through right now and I cannot tell you how grateful I am to hear your story. I will definitely check out the book you suggested and I just want to genuinely thank you for making me feel less alone.
Hi can I help you 😮
@@arpitsri9631 if you can then help me.
Honestly, I am in tears watching this video. I am going through this as well, Muslim Arab girl just like you. I got married last year at 27 years old, a Virgin. My experience was and is a nightmare. I would love to tell you privately if that’s ok.
Hiya! Thanks for your comment my dear. I've just seen your DM on instagram. I'll reply to you on there ❤️
Hi, I'm so sorry you are experiencing the nightmare of vaginismus. :( I had vaginismus as well and now I help people put that pain in their past.
Katrin, with Love hai i dont have a creditcard . I have a debitcard. is there any other way to pay?
How was it painful
Mail me at knightknick@gmail.com
I like this video, It has some good advice
But the first half of the video is really just a personal background of the story and for anyone who is busy they should skip to 14:00
Thank you so very much for sharing your story and being open and honest with us!
You're welcome!
@@amirahzaky I am unable to find silicon dialators on any website. Can you please help or share the link.
I know some may expect that men has no place here.
But thanks for honestly sharing. We also need to be educated properly so we can help and do not judge wrong. This really help us all .. Jazaki Allah Khair.
Completely agree!
I'm crying right now. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I now see hope
I’m going through this right now too.. so lovely to see another Muslimah talk about this . I felt so alone. Jazak’Allah khair x
I'm glad this made you know that you're not alone. Wa iyaki
Im literally in tears im also going through thi..me n my boyfriend have been together for 7 years and evn now he has never penetrated
We have tried a thousand times 😭😭😭
😭😭😭evn I'm going through it...
Yes it happen..... It happens with my gf too. To listen our story mail me at knightknick@gmail.com
@@knickknight pervert spotted
Me too😭
Hello have you overcame it yet?
I'm facing similar conditions..
Thank you for sharing your story, I recently got diagnosed with Vaginismus at 16 and hearing the treatment absolutely terrified me, but you make the whole thing seem much less scary and easier to understand.
Hi Andie, I'm so sorry you recently got diagnosed with vaginismus... It can be SO scary, but I'm so happy you came across this amazing video! I had vaginismus as well and at the time, there were so few resources available online... Now I help people put that pain in their past. :) I'd love send you my book about vaginismus for free (just pay for shipping) - you can request a copy at www.katrinwithlove.com.
Andie M what is the treatment girl
Hi girls, I am a muslim too and I just want to share my side too. Teenage stories are always weird. I got married at 28 and the first time was painful but not all women bleed and I did not. I had skin tearing/ expanding etc. Just to clarify girls that there wont be pints of blood on sheets or may be no blood at all. So just dont be scared and talk to someone mature before your marriage date.
Dear sis plz let me know that its only first time painful?not second time and always? Em also facing fear of ic
Hi 😮
I am so happy I've found this! Also Muslim, been married for 3 years and it's ruining my life
I'm glad you found it too! Alhamdulillah, if you need any further support feel free to send me a message on Instagram and we can chat there inshaAllah ❤️
Kate Maklout same here!!! My mother in law says I am very weird. She barely knows so many people are suffering from it :(
Sister can I have ur insta ID
@@nusratahmed1040 if that question was for me my insta is katemaklout xx
@@beautyandmessK why are you telling your mother in law abt your sex life? that's weird af
Sister you are so brave mashallah talking about this topic
Thank you. I made this video so that other women know they're not the only ones going through it and that it can be overcome 🙂
Iam going through the same situation and its really frustrating and emotionally painful to acknowledge this issue of mine. We have been into a relationship before marriage for 10 years and iam still in a same situation after marriage. Im glad to find this video of yours. ♥️
I completely understand? Send me an email support@amirahzaky.com if you're interested in scheduling a free 30min call with me so we can discuss the programs I offer to help women overcome this issue.
We dont talk about this condition. Why? I think childhood trauma is part of it.Compounded w my hysterectomy . And I had huge fears of getting pregnant and felt PTSD when having had a child. I had 3. I always avoid it and feel extreme anxiety just thinking about it. It is difficult on a marriage and can be exasperated by financial problems and stress and OCD and fill in the blank
Thank you for sharing this so much. I'm a Muslim woman as well struggling with this in my marriage and my life. JAK and alhamdulillah.
Thank you for sharing. I came from a very fundamentalist Christian environment and had a similar experience. "Purity culture" regardless of the religion it's built on is horrible and damaging to women and AFAB people. I had this condition even as a young teenager and no one paid attention because I was being promiscuous by using a tampin anyone - I was just overreacting and being over dramatic by saying it was painful.
I was able to have sex, but it was painful and did have a lot of bleeding and it made me very reluctant to have intercourse... I'm 30 years old and just learning this is a condition that affects as many as 20% of women at some point in their life.
I just found out I had vaginismus this year, and I just started using vaginal dilators. Your story gives me hope! Thanks for sharing! :)
Thank you my dear! May God make it easy for you to overcome it ❤️
I started too. Never had sex yet but helps when I see the gynecologist now.
Dilators u buy from where
@@ken45y how gynecologist help u plz suggest me i m worry nd m thinking about tO die for the problm of vaginismus
I’m using dilators too with lidocaine. It hurts so much during the insertion of the penis but over time the lidocaine numbs the pain. Trying tonight with lidocaine and the hubby. Hoping all goes well.
I'm proud of you to share this. So many women stay silent and think it's shameful. I'm married for 8 years I have two children one aged six and one is two. Sometimes I can't have sexual inyercourse because I'm so dry and my body just closes up. This can be frustrating.
omg me too. what can we do ?
@@aminabashir6195KY Jelly and lots of foreplay.
Thanks a lot I was 23 and got married now m 33 and still not done cus this same problem with me I ll definitely try my best to do this more stuffs hope I ll over come one day . My husband is so understandable and always with me . God blesses you and your family 4 sharing this 🙏🏻
Thank you so much for this video. It took me years to realize what was happening with me before I even discovered what vaginismus was. Recently I had made progress, but I regressed again after a painful doctor's visit. I want to try and make progress especially since I want to be a mother one day and have a fulfilling relationship eventually. I'm just now getting to where I'm no longer in denial about all of it. Thank you very much -- it brought me to tears knowing I'm not alone in this. To know that you could overcome it is so comforting :)
Awesome! Thank you so much for sharing this 💙
U're not alone dear
I'm so grateful to you for sharing your journey with us!! You're very brave. I have this as well. I've felt so isolated and depressed over this. Your story gives me hope that I will get through this someday
I'm so sorry you have vaginismus... You can definitely overcome it, with the right support
@@vaginismus.sisters wow this is so inspiring that you overcame this condition!! how were you able to get past it, how long did it take to overcome, and are u able to have a pain free satisfying intimate life now?
@@anitaknight3915 Thank you.
I'd love to know more about your story, if you'd like to share.
I'm 22 I'm married and I'm stressed over this. I'm stressed that I can't give myself and my husband pleasure. I never thought it was going to be this tough. Please help me do something about it.
Thanks for your comment. I completely understand your situation. I have a paid online course and coaching program to help women overcome this. If you're interested, send an email to support@amirahzaky.com and you can request a free 30min call with me so you can find out more about these programs.
I have the same problem to dear... I've been Married for 3 months and have never really had pleasure during sex due to vaginsmus
@@naanahawayussif1139 Medical grade silicone dilators helped me a lot.. I used them with lubricants and trust me it increased my confidence so much.. My condition was so bad i couldn't even think of inserting a tampon but now I'm ok so maybe it is an option
Its the stress and anxiety. As someone who has had sex with a few men in my life and I'm mature in age, I can tell you that men don't really care about all the things you think they do. They love a woman's body and they're not focusing on your flaws etc. Please relax take it slow. Sex is not a job and you're not a prostitute there to just provide your husband with pleasure - men actually want to please their woman. Its mutual pleasure. The sexual pleasure a man experiences its not just about putting his penis in a vagina - he also has a mental and emotional need to know he is satisfying you. Talk, laugh, relax, take it slow and allow more foreplay and don't be afraid to say what you like and you don't. You're not a bad person for telling him that you don't like something. Just say "I'd love it if you did...." Its awkward when you come from a culture that shames sex and doesn't talk about it - I'm Asian so I get it. But for me, I found thinking of myself as just existing to pleasure a man when I was young was so wrong. I need pleasure too and that for me comes from being treated with, love, respect and patience. You need to feel emotionally appreciated because physical pleasure is linked to that. My advice is to focus on how much you love him and that sex is a natural wonderful way to express love, not just a physical act and just relax. The mind needs to relax for the pelvic floor to relax. Shame is usually the issue you need to work. There's nothing shameful in sex - God designed sex and meant for us to have sex.
@@Aparna.S93 hi, from where u bought them?
I feel so assured for finally coming across a Muslim woman going through this and actually sharing about it , I really appreciate all that you do but i do have one issue , dilators are literally so expensive I'd love to see the link to the book that has the set with it , thank you so much.
great video! Thanks for talking about a conditions that affects many women and informing others about it. Women helping and supporting each other.
I've never been married, and I also have no experience about sex. I was planning to get married, but I'm still afraid to imagine how the sex will happen. Then TH-cam recommended this video to me. I hope I don't experience this, but thanks for sharing. I get a lot of insight from your video. May Allah bless you and your family ❤️
I admire you for overcoming this yourself, without help from a medical professional. I am in process of overcoming this condition too, and would have lost my mind if I have to do it alone. Here in Indonesia there is a doctor who focuses his works on vaginismus, curing the patients as well as campaigning for awareness. So I received a lot of info from him.
Thank you for sharing, may Allah bless you and your family.
That's amazing! Thanks for sharing! I'm glad there's someone in Indonesia to help women with this! Alhamdulillah ❤️😊
amirahzaky Hi! I thought I want to share that today was my last appointment with the doctor I mentioned above. As of today, I am able to have proper transvaginal examination and proper intercourse with my husband hahaha. I am not 100% cured yet, it still hurts (but managable) and I still have anxiety whenever something is about to go into my vagina, but the doctor said it is now managable for me to cure myself with the dilators (like what you did). He also said my body will know when it no longer needs this exercise and should stop. I am praying for that day to come soon!
For sisters out there who are struggling with this, please know it is curable. Do not be discouraged, do not give up, educate yourself, seek proper help and treatment, pray hard, insya Allah you will find a cure for this condition that works for you. ☺️☺️
Sister, may Allah reward you. This is a natural thing and it's amazing you are sharing it.. my wife has been going through this problem with me for 6 years. I'm sharing this video with her in the hopes she starts something.
I would love to help your wife. I actually have a free online 90-minute training called Fearless Painless First-Time Sex that you and your wife can watch together. You can register for this free training here: event.webinarjam.com/channel/painlessfirsttime
@@amirahzaky jazak Allah khair. I really appreciate it and hopefully she will be on board. This work you are doing is amazing. We need more avenues like this to help with issues related to sexual health..
@@omartechnique6090 wa iyaki brother. I completely agree! You can also message me on instagram (@amirahzaky) or email me at amirah@amirahzaky.com because sometimes the comments in TH-cam get lost or I lose track of them. I look forward to hearing from you soon inshaAllah
im so glad to see a man here. wish you and your wife love and happiness!
4 years no intercourse 😭😭😭 divorce pending 😭
When you mentioned that you felt that everything happens for a reason and how you spun this difficult time into a learning experience that you can share with others going through the same thing, I started to cry because your story has been such a blessing to hear. It really helps to know that I am not alone and that I CAN get through this! Thank you so much for sharing
Thank you!
Thank you so much for making this video! I’m currently struggling with vaginismus, and it’s putting a strain on my boyfriend I’s relationship. I relate to your story so much! So thank you!!
I saw this video awhile ago but came back to it because I also struggle with vaginismus but am making good progress thus far. I’m not married and also very religious (Catholic) but I need to fix this issue because gynecology appts are very painful and I have a separate condition that requires transvaginal ultrasounds which are absolutely excruciating. But so far, I purchased a set of dilators on Amazon and have successfully used the first two sizes without any major difficulty. God willing, I’ll be able to size up through the remaining 3 dilators and have no further issues with my healthcare. I appreciate your discussion of this from a religious standpoint.
does it hurt when u put in dilator?
Thanks for sharing your story! I have recently been diagnosed with this and its encouraging to have come across your video! Its definitely a taboo in Muslim culture and kudos to you for speaking out about what is a medical condition and its treatment! X
this helped me, hope it helps you th-cam.com/video/LfCrXQ64Hv0/w-d-xo.html
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I also had a very similar background with anxiety about the first time and having Vaginismus affect my marriage for up to a year after we were married too. This video was really done in such a candid and respectful manner, and I truly think it will help for others to hear that 1) they aren’t alone and 2) the fear can be overcome! Thank you!
Thank you for your kind comment! 💙
2 years with no sex with my wife, we both just realized this condition that fits perfectly the description.
The problem is she too afraid to even get up start and deal with it. It’s truly frustrating. Thanks for sharing.
I completely understand. Please email me: support@amirahzaky.com if you would like more information about the online program and services I provide to help women overcome vaginismus
Hi, man here. Thank you for bringing this out. I wish you and your husband the joys you deserve.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us. Almighty God will bless your home and children. Seriously, I believe you've saved someone's marriage, you nailed it with a high sense of modesty. Thank you, thank you and thank you.
Thanks so much dear for your kind comment
I am crying watching this. Thank you for this video.
you're very welcome!
Thank you for speaking out ! You are a very decent and gentle person mashAllah
❤Shukran so much for Speaking Up on Sexual topics because it's not an easy subject to bring up amongst us Muslims.
People should stop telling people fake myths about first sex
I felt like hearing my own story... Dear sister.. iam facing this problem and so far I haven't found any solution for this... I too have the same worries that u had once... Ur video really gave me a positive hope ...now I feel that ... Insha Allah .. I will be able to overcome this hurdle... I need share Ur story with my husband... Thanks a lot dear sister
I understand. You're welcome. If you're interested in finding out more, I have an online course and coaching program to help women overcome vaginismus. You can email me amirah@amirahzaky.com or send me a message on instagram @amirahzaky
I also had that experience and for 5 years after marriage I finally overcome it but our difference is I did not use any thing to get use to have something inside me. I did not know that it was a condition but my husband was very understanding ang he was very cooperative until we were be able to succeed. We had sex in our own way but not intercourse and I was able to over come it by the use of positive mental attitude. I said to my self If I will not do this our marriage will be broken and I might lost a loving and understanding husband so we tried so many times and I can not count how many time until finally we did it so its true what you said the woman must try their best to help herself but any way thank you very much for the video at least now I know that I was not alone.
Plz tell me how did you get rid of it? Only by positive thoughts because i also want to get rid of it
Are you able to elaborate more please on how you used a positive mental attitude to allow you to overcome this? Please?
@@me4everhappy It is said to be mostly a mental reaction, that causes physical symptoms. The mental reaction is mostly caused by fear, that the intercourse will hurt, shame around sexual acts, that they will unwillingly get pregnant, or for some even history of SA. So mediating to relax is helpful, as are relaxation exercises for the pelvic floor. There are a lot of yoga videos online for pelvic floor relaxation and even yoga for vaginism. I think using a dilator too is a good idea, to make your body get used to penetration and to make your body realize, that nothing bad will happen.
@@LaraOlina you are right. It is mental reaction because if our negative thoughts..
Thank you for sharing I’m sure your inspiration to many women around the world and you are so inspiring and motivating to hear how you overcome this struggle.
Thanks so much for your kind comment
Thank you for talking about this!
You're welcome!
Bravo! Many women suffer from this just watched one from christian girls who also suffered from this due to fear and their purity culture. Its good to see a muslim lady also discuss this.
Thank you so much for posting this video. Your story is almost identical to mine especially with hearing stories about painful sex. I was just married recently and was unable to have sex. Your story gives me faith that I will over come this!
this helped me, hope it helps you th-cam.com/video/LfCrXQ64Hv0/w-d-xo.html
@@goddessphumi I will take a look, thank you for recommending!
Did you get through it beautiful soul 🥺?
Thank you....this is very helpful to many women out there who are in this situation but are aftaid to open or share it.
Thank you and i really thankful and grateful after seeing your video. I got vaginismus. Now i passed my one year of marriage. For me its time for making babies and I feel pressure whenever people asking me about child. I gone through episodes of frustration and sad. I feel grateful because my husband was so patient. But yes i’m the one who feel pressure and depressed because i think that i’m not trying to overcome this problem. After seeing your video and sharing I feel motivated.
Thanks for your comment dear jannah. If you're interested, you can register for my free online 90-minute training so that you can find out more about the work I do to help women overcome vaginismus: event.webinarjam.com/channel/painlessfirsttime
this helped me, hope it helps you th-cam.com/video/LfCrXQ64Hv0/w-d-xo.html
I'm barely 5 minutes in but I just wanted to say THANK YOU for sharing this. I am 28, single, but have struggled throughout my dating life. I still hold that image of pain, and this fear has held me back for so long, making me feel incredibly isolated. I'm just glad I'm not the only one and there are similar experiences. ❤
I have learned a lot from watching your videos. I was very sad because of this problem. Thanks a lot for sharing your thoughts.
Djazakillah khairan for sharing your struggle and i'm so proud of you overcaming it. May allah bless your nikkah 🤲🏾 and let you help more people that are struggling with it
Hi can I help you 😮
Thank you for sharing. I believe I have this condition. Unfortunately It affected my marriage quiet badly to the point husband and I won't communicating about this and we even stopped trying - after 6 years of marriage (I hadn't worked out by then I had this condition) we separated. We got back together after months, buy then after a year separated again and currently separated. I am working on trying to overcome this condition.
Thanks for your comment dear. May God make it easy for you. Just to let you know that I offer coaching to help women overcome vaginismus if this is something you're interested in?
@@amirahzaky it would be great if you can help me out. I discovered recently that I have this problem and if you can provide online coaching for it it would be useful for me.
Please share your contact details sister. I am not married yet but I know I am having this condition
This is a great video and helpful to many. Thank you for sharing! :)
However I think it’s important to comment on what you said at 17.43 stating that ‘don’t worry, the dilators are not vibrators, they don’t give you pleasure or anything’ is implying that women who are going through this cannot have any pleasure when trying to overcome this. If women find it easier to use a vibrator that gives them pleasure it may be easier to do the insertions, if you are aroused and more relaxed this may help. I understand in some cultures that this may not be allowed, and I appreciate this, but I’m sure there are some women where it would be helpful to use something that gives them pleasure to make them feel more relaxed, rather than using hard plastic dilators. Also you can get soft silicone dilators now which are more comfortable to use. :)
this helped me, hope it helps you th-cam.com/video/LfCrXQ64Hv0/w-d-xo.html
I had this same discussion with my hubby. He was object about the dilators thinking they serve the same purpose as toys and later we talked about toys and I asked him whether I didn't deserve to feel pleasure and at that point I really considered getting a toy, I was angry
The same thing is happening to me with my husband I'm Muslim and never went through sexual experience but we still can't make it we are new married couple
May Allah make it easy for you. Let me know if you have any questions. Or you can message me on instagram
I m Muslim too and I have the some problem
@@dieumerci2173 hi. I've seen your message on instagram and I've replied to you there 😁
Hi, I'm so sorry you have vaginismus... I had vaginismus as well and at the time, there were so few resources available online - this video is absolutely wonderful! Having overcome vaginismus, I now help people put that pain in their past too. :) I'd love send you my book on the topic for free (just pay for shipping) - you can request a copy at www.katrinwithlove.com.
Thank you SO much for sharing your story! The fact that you overcame this in 2-3 weeks gives me hope as I have known I have had this for years but can’t seem to find the help I need. Sister please can you send me a link to the book you used , I have been looking online for it but I can’t seem to find the one you suggested that comes with dialators, dvds, ect.
Again thank you so much for sharing your words have touched me more than you could ever know
Thank you so much for sharing this with us because the same thing that happened to you is happening to me right now.
May God make it easy for you ❤️
Hi, I'm so sorry you have vaginismus... I had vaginismus as well and at the time, there were so few resources available online - this video is absolutely wonderful! Having overcome vaginismus, I now help people put that pain in their past too. :) I'd love send you my book on the topic for free (just pay for shipping) - you can request a copy at www.katrinwithlove.com.
@@vaginismus.sisters hi i am also suuffering from this.. can you plz tell me that your book will be helpful to get rid of it?
I am a male, but I found this SO interesting, because I've had two relationships in my lifetime where this occurred, and I was so confused. I'm not sure if they were, or now are, because it only happened the first time, and we did not discuss it - that's why it's so neat to know there is a condition like this. Thanks Amirah, and so glad you and your husband got past it!
Thank you, I really appreciate your kind comment! May God bless you.
Your so brave for sharing this.
Thank you Amirah for sharing your story. Your courage is encouraging. Your story resonates, the same struggle is found among christians not so much maybe in your culture but it's there and we go into marriage thinking we don't deserve to feel this pain coz we kept ourselves pure. It's been a year in marriage going through this. I have cried during sex which progressed to crying in the bathroom and now I just sort of dissociate myself during sex and care less afterwards coz man, the pain physically and emotionally even after sex is exhausting
Hi there, we're sorry to hear that you're experiencing this. We have vaginismus coaches that can help you overcome this issue. Please reach out to support@amirahzaky.com should you require further support. - Noor, Team Amirah Zaky
Wow! You are such a smart and kind woman for sharing it. ❤️
Thank you!
thank u so much for education i am a man who is getting married soon and i do appreciate this video to know that my future wife inshallah might go through this so thank u very much
First of all, salute to you for making a video on it, and thank you so much because it is so helpful 🙏🙌
Can I help you 😮
Thank you so much for sharing this! I so much relieved that I am not the only one
You're welcome You're not the only one! In fact, so many women have sent me messages to say they're going through it too. And I now coach women to overcome vaginismus. I actually have a group coaching program now to help women to overcome vaginismus, if you check out my instagram
@@amirahzaky what’s your Instagram ?
You should talk about this topic more. My ex had this and I only found out several years after the fact. She's still in denial though. It's a tough thing to get over.
Thanks for sharing this. Yes I plan to talk about this more inshaAllah here on TH-cam. I do have an Instagram account dedicated to raising awareness about vaginismus and helping women to overcome vaginismus
Thank you for sharing, this is the best Video about vaginismus i‘ve Seen
Thanks so much!
I am a Muslim physician involved with counseling in America. I appreciate your good work and efforts, but I do have few sincere suggestions for you as an older Muslim and as a physician.
I hope you will take these as suggestions for improvement. There is scarcity of information on these taboo topics online and in person, especially for modest muslim girls; your posts might be the only info they read, so it is even more important to make sure your advice is responsible as well as islamically and medically sound.
There is a difference between educating about a taboo and crossing haya ( islamic term for modesty) boundries as a Muslim. You did not have to explain to others how it felt to finally have your husband inside you. Certain things are best left between couples and for private counseling.
Secondly, in your other video where you have a long list of questions to ask before nikah ( islamic marriage contract), several of those are clearly beyond the haya and common sense boundaries and might end up ruining several relationships. On a simple level, sex is not what you can plan months before marriage like a calendar about how many times to do in a week; the chemistry develops gradually and has to be adjusted to the life situations. What if you had told your future husband that we will do 3 times a week and then were not able to keep up ( in your own case as an example). Also talking about skin shades of vulva even before nikah is crazy. Any decent innocent young Muslim man will freak out on this, will think how many places this girl has been around, and the proposal may break even before nikah. There is a time and place for all these discussions, and most of these do not need to be discussed before even nikah.
I am all for having few necessary discussions after nikah about wedding night ( not before nikah) such as to let's take it slow as we will be tired due to the ceremonies, let's spend time knowing each other's bodies first etc.. Majority of your other exhaustive list of questions is something husband and wife gradually discuss after marriage over a period of time, as they get used to each other and have each other's trust.
There is one more issue which I want all the Muslims, especially girls, to understand. It is true that bleeding during first penetration from hymen and vaginal opening distention may or may not happen; Allah has made each one of us beautiful, slightly different, and individual.
However, to say that a girl should have no feeling of slight discomfort first time is also not true. Allah has created the vagina as one of the most distensible organs in our body. Closer examples are the urinary bladder and stomach. Vagina can distend so much as to deliver a baby. But distention of vagina is significantly related to mental and hormonal state. If a girl is relaxed, feeling love and connected to her spouse, and has been aroused properly by foreplay, it will be easier to be distended.
Having said that, think of a virgin vagina as a new tight sock. It has a potential to distend further with use, but the first time, it is difficult to put the foot through the elastic tight opening. Similarly although a girl may not bleed first time, but a virgin typically feels some discomfort as the cap like tip of the penis (called glans) will distend the opening of vagina first time.
How to minimize the discomfort? One is mental and hormonal. Take it easy, develop love, extensive foreplay to get it relaxed as much possible and ready to receive the penis for the first time; secondly, to use an anesthetic gel (such as 2 percent lidocaine or xylocaine) instead of a KY gel ( which is just a lubricant). We doctors use lidocaine gel to lubricate our fingers before rectal or vaginal exam. We also use it to put a urinary catheter in the bladder. It provides 2 purposes; lubrication and temporary numbing. It can be applied safely to both at the opening of vagina and tip of penis just couple of minutes before penetration.
After the first few times, inshahAllah you will not need an anesthetic gel, though some people continue to like using just a lubricant gel like KY gel afterwards, which is a matter of personal preference.
There are other techniques like proper positioning for the first time to make penetration easier for the inexperienced couple. Putting a pillow or two under the buttocks of the girl to raise the pelvis area somewhat ( cover the pillows with a towel or sheet in case bleeding does occur). This slight upward thrust creates a better angle and makes it easy for the penis to penetrate for the first time.
Another honest observation; for you to claim to be a sex therapist, you seem to have very little knowledge of male anatomy or how to pleasure a male also. You can't just be a therapist for women and not know extensively about men. Even if you have just women clients, without good knowledge of men, you can't advise them professionally.
I strongly request that not to spoil innocent girls for just your ratings, advertisement and developing clients; I know sex sells. But please, use some common sense, don't cross haya boundaries in a public forum; do not give crazy advice like the long list of those questions to ask before nikah, as those have a potential to spoil relationships and do more harm than good at that stage.
Continue to do the good job of educating about conditions like vaginismus; but talk in generic terms and as generic scenarios, and leave most of the intimate personal details out on a public forum; you can share those with a client if you so wish during one to one private counseling sessions, if that makes them connect with you.
Thank you so much for sharing your story, I feel so much less alone knowing other people go through this. Lots of love to you and your husband.
Jzakhallah khair, I'm so shocked that I see a sister speaking about an issue that has so little information.
Alhamdulillah
This went pretty deep and resonated with me too except I never got the official diagnosis. My lady down there in general felt a bit dry and one day I seriously thought, is this abnormal. I moved to a different city to be with the hubs and I was on a job hunt with fierce focus which increased my anxiety. The first handful of times we tried after being married was not successful till now. It's a difficult topic to touch on and I love how you normalized the fact that it's not easy for a lot of people.
Hi there, we're sorry to hear that you're experiencing this. Please reach out to support@amirahzaky.com should you require further support. - Noor, Team Amirah Zaky
@@amirahzaky thank you! the video was helpful and i was able to overcome the issue.
True , talking abt sex or such topics in islam is so difficult but u r brave to talk abt it its amazing kudos to u girl👏👏👏👏😊😊😊
JazakALALAHU khairan... Veryyy Veryyyy Muchhhh... for Sharing This...... I Hope This Will really help me Tooo❤... do pray for us.. as we got married last month..... & are facing the same problem...
Thank you so so much for posting this. It meant a lot.
my pleasure!
Thank you for sharing. I'm slowly working on curing myself of this, and wow it's been a journey. When you said you thought about how people just do it like they do in the movies, Truth!.
How's it going?
@@debchi1230 I’m not going to lie it has been rough. I’ve been on and off with making progress but finally at the end of March this year I decided I would have to be more consistent and stop making excuses. So since working with dilators, I have been making progress. Still on the first dilator but that’s because I want to take my time. I always journal about every time I dilate to track how I’m doing. I also set up an appointment with a pelvic floor specialist and had started working on things like stretching because I learned after a failed Pap test that my left hip is really tight and may be causing issues as well. So I’m feeling pretty positive now. Even though we all know this but truly being consistent is the way to go. If only I had been that way years ago I would have made progress. But I’m happy to be finally getting somewhere now.
Thank you. You just talked about my suitvation. It's 9 months over our marriage and never had a sexual intercourse. Iam so sad about it. Just started thinking like you. May Allah bless you. Please include me in your prayers. 🙌👏🙏🙇
@maypaki alam Oh god get the fuck out of here, wierdo. Ur in every video about vaginismus. Bye
Can I help you 😮
Thank you so much. I didn't know about the books. I'll search some in portuguese because I'm not able to read a whole book in English. But thank you for sharing your story with us!
Hi can I help you 😮
Thankyou so much for this video dear, you're doing a great work. And also you're well spoken
Assalamualaikum sister. Thank you sooo much for coming up with this. It made me cry. I got divorced due to this condition. I am all alone now. Can I overcome this while I am single?
Wa alaikum asalam sister. I'm glad you benefitted from it. Sorry to hear you got divorced over this but alhamdulillah everything happens for a reason and inshaAllah you marry again in the future if that's good for you. Yes you can overcome it while you're single. I actually have one client who is single who I'm helping to overcome it before she gets married. If you're interested in working with me so I can help you, you can send me a message on Instagram and we can have a chat inshaAllah instagram.com/amirahzaky/
@@amirahzaky jazak Allahu khairan...I will message you soon sister 😊
@@amirahzaky 👍👍👍
@@amirahzaky chek ur insta msg?
@@drfawad7007 I will 🙂
Thank you so much for sharing! You’re amazing
I’ve tried EVERYTHING but I’m not still able to. Now I’m trying Vaginismus Botox
Thank you so much💛. This is enlightening. Shared your webinar link with many women.
Thank you very much!
Thank you so much for sharing your experience. It'll helps to many girls who have facing this problem but can't share it with anyone.. thank you very much... Love from india ❤️❤️
Thank you
Can I help you 😮
599 comments. Let me be 600th and say this has been a life-changing video. I married when both me and my wife were "virgins". It lasted three years under the same roof, till I had to leave her, for I started fantasizing about killing her just so I could lose my boyhood to her. She did go to psychologists for years, but they had never heard of this disorder. I have spent over a decade in agony thinking what was wrong with me, what was wrong with her. Now I finally know. Thank you so much !
Wow this is profound. Thank you for sharing this. I pray that God helps you and your ex-wife to find healing
It's been already 3 years of my marriage and recently I got diagnosed with vaginismus. We both suffered a lot. I'm just praying to allah to get rid of it and taking prescribed medicine and exercising
انا مش عارفة اشكرك ازاي. ❤
معرفة حد من نفس الخلفية الثقافية نحج في التجربة دي وعلاج نفسه مش زي ما اي دكتور تتكلم عن الموضوع من برا. سماع انك اتميتي العلاج على خير وبقيتي كويسة الحمدلله مشجع جدا. ربنا يجعله في ميزان حسناتك على قد الناس اللي هتتعالج ويكون عندها ثقة بسببك ❤❤❤
masyaAllah.. thank you so much for sharing! I'm glad I'm not alone!
To anyone dealing I am here to just tell you - Have patience. It is only you who can help yourself. I struggled with this for 8 years and did not even knew that this was a problem. It was only when my current partner and I discussed about it and understood that this is something we both need to work together on. Trust me with patience and love for your body and not letting your mind control you will help. This can be overcome with :)
Thank you seriously thank you you are the only Arab person I guess talking about this '
Sad but great from you to share
Thank you!
Best thing is to share this with sexologist or your gynaechologist and I am sure they will guide you about this and make you aware what is exactly happening with you
Thank you so much for sharing your experience.
Assalam alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh, jazaaki Allaahu khair for the video. I've had vulvodynia since I was 16 or younger and after the intimacy could be in burning pain for two hours. I was prescribed some estrogenic medicine but don't want to use it as such meds make me suicidal and very gloomy. I took the second covid shot yesterday and I'm having a very painful vulvodynia seizure at the moment. First the pain used to last for 30 seconds and over the years it has prolonged to 15 minutes and it stops and starts multiple times a day. I keep reminding myself of the rewards of feeling any kind of pain. May we meet in jannah ❤️
May Allah make it easy for you and bless you with shifa. Ameen to your beautiful dua
Thank you so much. This is helpful. I'm gonna visit my doctor and discuss some of this with them.
is it normal that I'm feeling extremely uncomfortable and a sort of pain while watching that video
thank you so much for sharing. you have no idea how helpful this was to me.
I am glad you shared this I bet it helped other people🙂
Thank you dear! At the time I recorded this I was very nervous but I'm glad I made this video as so many women have commented here to say how it's helped them and I've also received loads of messages on Instagram and I've even coached clients through overcoming vaginismus. Are you currently struggling with vaginismus?
@@amirahzaky no thankfully, I am just a young girl who likes learning about humans and their disorders( one of the reasons on to why I do this is because I struggle with clinical depression and anxiety) Hopefully a future surgeon. The fact that you helped a lot of people already is mind blowing! You should keep up the effort may allah grand you with his heaven🙂
@@Fnaelk05 this is absolutely amazing! I love that you love learning about humans 😊 wishing you all the best with your career ❤️
Jazakillah Khair ukhti 💖✨ your videos really helped me... Keep going!
My friend made me afraid . I am single. If i got married i will not tell bad stories to make people afraid
great! I'm pleased to hear this! I'd love for you to check out the other videos on my channel and leave comments to tell me what you've learned. Also, let me know if you have any topic suggestions for new videos.
Hi can I help you 😮
Thankyou Amirah. May Allah reward you.
This is timely for me as my nikkah is soon and have never had sex but just thinking about the first night terrifies me alot.
Hi can I help you 🎉
thankyou sister, this post is since 3 years and now iam watching it could easily done if i watch this video before 3 years so now it could easily manage while doing intercourse