This is spot on, I hear a lot of women here in the U.S. also say that they pay attention to how their dates treat waiters\waitresses in restaurants, or other service people. Although in general we don't focus on politeness as much as people seem to in Japan, someone who is unkind to service people is displaying a broad indication that they see others as just a means to get what they want, rather than as people deserving of respect. In other words, they are someone who is primarily selfish, who thinks in terms of what they can get from others, rather than someone who is empathetic, who feels grateful to receive things. If you're thinking of having a relationship with someone like this, you have to wonder -- do they also see you as a real relationship with another person? Do they care about your needs? Or are you just another thing that they want to have to provide them a service?
I went to Japan for 2 months. Some tourist areas some not so tourist areas (mino city for example) and the service staff almost always were so nice. Kind and helpful. Just really threw me off just to go into a Lawson's and have the staff treat me so well. It was hard not to be nice back, smiling showing appreciation, etc. but I did feel bit bad. The service staff in Japan tends to go above and beyond. At one of the hotels I asked for an extra pillow and an extra futon top because I'm 6'6 and it didn't cover me lol. The woman said of course please wait one moment and then she sprinted across the hotel and came back with the pillow and the futon topper. I thanked her and tried to take them from her but she refused and told me that she would carry them from my room. I was mind blown. I don't think I've ever seen a service person move that fast in my life. Another time I asked for some mustard while we were at amusement park. The staff apologized that they didn't have any. About 4 minutes later one of the service staff came running back into the restaurant. She had run to the opposite side of the park looking for mustard and found it and then ran back. While shopping for knives I asked if I could see another one of the same knife. The shop staff said of course said a few things to The knife sharpener and I only caught a little bit of it. I was confused cuz they were talking about a bicycle. Then I saw him get on a bicycle and spend 35 minutes biking to a different town and back to go get me another knife so I could compare the two patterns. Now my family is teasing me about how I make the Japanese run around for me.... The service staff there are insane. It was so weird. It was like being in another world. Even if they didn't have a high-paying job, I felt like almost all of the people in the service industries took pride in their work.
Love the video! Keep working hard. I agree with your point on treating service people with kindness and respect. Even if I am having a bad day I try to be respectful when I'm going into a store or resturant. The lying down in bed thing... People think because it's online they can be super casual.. They have no concept of etiquette. I would have probably told them to sit up and pay attention. It's probably the number one reason there not getting any dates..😂
Thanks for watching! It might be a common sense but like you said sometimes it's hard when you have bad days and such, so I thought it's nice to be reminded of 😌
I'm European living in Japan, and I also lived in the USA for 5 years. The smiling thing is something I noticed a long time ago. Japanese people are polite when interacting, but not as polite when you're not actually talking. They don't smile, sometimes they push past you (on the train or in the street) and don't really say excuse me or sorry (same word anyway haha). In European countries, smiling at people with any kind of verbal or non-verbal communication is very common, that's what I am used to so I smile at everyone. Some times it feels weird when I smile at people, but now you said it's ok, I will continue to do it! :)
It's interesting that you mentioned how polite Japanese people are. I also check out videos of Japanese people visiting the U.S. and they mention how we are so outgoing and friendly. No matter where we are from, we are all human beings.
Just what I think. We Westerners admire Asians for polite, restrained behavior. Some Asians like the chill, easygoing ways of the West. I think more of both for the Orient and Occident would be good, no?
I'm European living in Japan, but I lived in the USA for 5 years. There is a difference. Japanese are polite to be respectful, most of the time Americans are polite because they want something from you (usually money).
I would also say to those who are commenting and haven't lived in Japan: even if you think you're being very polite, Japanese tend to have different definitions as to what "polite" is... You might be speaking sincerely, eye contact, shaking hands, but then you might get a message from a friend saying, "they thought you were very intimidating and aggressive." I think this is also something that Japanese may not think about deeply, that a person from another culture doing their best to be polite may not even fit to what Japanese consider polite or not...
I think it’s a very good video. My opinion about dating a Japan girl, is the same I have about meeting a girl everywhere around the world: it’s a miracle, finding true love.
I commented about a month or so ago that he does. Having said that, Gary Oldman is such a great actor and can disappear into a role. How can we be sure it's not him? 🤔 He may be incognito.
In the US it is considered rude by most people to talk to someone from bed if they are not your close friend. But the US is not a monolith. It is more and more like Europe, with each state being different. Similarly, there are many people in the US who value working in the retail or manual labor for a few years. Because until you go to work thinking, 'what is the next right thing to do?" you are unlikely to do well or ever get promoted. And the habit of asking that question often comes from doing a good job in retail or construction, or something similar. But the reason working in jobs like these is being valued more is partially a response to people who try to get office jobs and then waste time on their cell phones. For a good worker, doing that would be unthinkable: while you are on the clock, you should be looking for the next way to help. Someone who is used to a lower paid or harder job would not make such an awful mistake. But many in the US still do. So it's a real mix.
I got a good female friend in Japan I really like. She was always super appreciative of the kindness I showed her. Also she always really repaid my generosity. Wonderful woman in many ways. Not sure if lots of other Japanese women are the same but I would love to marry someone like her or specifically her if I get the chance.
A few years ago I started consciously just saying nice things to service workers because it's easy to say a few nice words. It costs nothing, often not even time to just say something nice as you turn to leave. Yes, they are just doing their job and they are paid to do whatever they are doing but they are also people. I would assume that the social hierarchy in Japan makes it especially easy to view people serving you as inferior. Customers in Japan aren't kings, they are gods. This obviously feeds into our tribal monkey brains but as a society and as individuals we can do better.
Interesting! Is it possible to speak about potential dating between foreign women and Japanese men? There’s a lot of information for foreign men who live in Japan and interested in dating but not much for foreign women. Japanese men seem to be a mystery and getting to know them for friends or dating seems so mysterious.
Be polite, but don't expect that to have any impact on your dating life. As a man, never take dating advices from women. They will list qualities but NEVER date people that fit that description, except for other secondary interests.
It's not that women don't appreciate those traits, it's just not the most important ones. Those are (in Japan as well as in every other country) 1) Be rich 2) Be tall 3) Be handsome
This philosophy works for deranged Western women. If we are talking a decent woman, yes how positive you treat service staff will tell them something about you. If you are looking for a woman that finds it attractive that you treat service staff like crap you should move on. it's better to be alone than be a crap person.
I remember my first few times in Japan before I moved I would smile at strangers, but I would get a really weird look in return. I've heard its a very American thing to do and people might take it that you're an abnormal person, but maybe its also because I'm Asian American and Japanese people expect just white or black people from America 🫠
What do you say about people who rarely smile? It's not that they don't want to, it just doesn't come to them naturally, so they have to force one. People used to say the only time I genuinely smile is whenever I'm laughing.
I never smile unnecessarily too normally but if i have a date with a women (Japanese or not), I make a effort. When I am with friends, i smile sometimes too
You didnt mention but what about taking time to learn Japanese I admit after 8 months learning Japanese i consider myself to be anout jplt n5 to n4 ish and hoping to be n3 ish in September when i plan to first visit
There is no tipping in Japan (thankfully). I think she was talking in a broad sense since in America we have a tipping culture and was giving an example of being invested.
@@o.x.p I think the "gotten out of control part" is specific to the US and possibly Canada. As far as I'm aware, tipping is optional throughout Europe.
One thing that particularly stands out about Japanese women , is how they have a modest dignity and politeness about them. To me this makes them even more enchanting. I hope they never change! -Thankyou from England
Maybe he was trolling for a reaction lmfao😂 Have you ever had any surprisingly inappropriate clients (e.g doing an Omegle or saying something wrong). Also surprised you put a shogun clip in the video haha
Yes, that behavior is considered rude here in the United States as well--but manners are in short supply, there's a lot of intergenerational knowledge that's evaporating between the bonds and some just lack social awareness. Nature and nurture, both gone awry.
I think this goes beyond dating. Just be a good human being overall first and first and formost. Everyone should respect each other and their differences. And if you are planning on going to another country, dont forget that you are a guess in that country. So you should be even better. Try to learn the language, customs, culture, norms, etc… Everyone’s experience may vary, but kindness for the most part goes a long way. (Just maybe not in the U.S. LOL) But when I went to Japan last year for a while, the different between Japan and the U.S. was like night and day. I made a lot of friends while I was out there and we still talk. They want to learn more about me and I want to learn more about them. I cant wait to go back! 😊😊😊
So as you can see here the truth to dating Japanese women in their 30s is to be, as the Japanese like to say, serious and "mature". This means that you may have to not be yourself, or you might need to pretend to be more serious than you really are but ultimately you need to be slightly Robotic.
Do you have any video on this but for lgbt people? Like, what kind of woman japanese women are into? If they're bisexual is the some kind of overall preference?
Coming from the states, I used to smile to both men and women whenever I made eye contact. But, my Japanese friends told me to stop because I am also Asian and look too Japanese. Apparently, a Japanese-looking man going around smiling at strangers comes off too creepy in this country… So now I just maintain blank expression… 😐
I think treating service staff with decent respect is a green flag no matter the gender or nationality. As a guy it would irk me out massively if she undeservingly treated a server poorly or with an attitude, I’d be walking out there asap.
Is there a way to work with you? I will be moving to Japan in a couple months, I recently got approved for my Highly Skilled Visa. I lived in Tokyo for 6 months last year, and plan on spending the rest of my life in Japan.
Treating service industry workers poorly, going to church in casual dress (shorts, flip-flops, t-shirts). I think that's rude in just about any culture including here in the US. Certain individuals were just brought up with different manners 🤷
The REAL dating advice is to be the 6666 man. As in 6 feet, 6 pack abs, 6 inches, and 6 figures. Sure, it will get men "dates," but "dates" don't mean anything, especially if the first date fails. The type of advice is good for "husband" material. These tips ARE important for LONG TERM STABILITY. HOWEVER, women have TWO TYPES of attraction. The first is loyalty and stability. Asagi is correct about this. Without the second attraction, the "dated" man will end up being a "friend." The second part is the LUST factor. This type of attraction gets her wanting to rip your clothes off. If Basic Bob or Cubicle Carl is respectful, etc, it means NOTHING if he isn't "lusted" after. Eventually, Basic Bob and Cubicle Carl will be seen as a friendzoned husband/boyfriend.
Be a decent human being, speak the language - you'll be fine. Just a heads up, dating Japanese women is a lot different if you're a Westerner; cultural differences appear very quickly. You both need to be open minded and appreciative of the differences.
judging others based on one man laying on a bed looking at his phone - huh - what kind of consultation was that ? the only positive suggestion I heard was 'smiling at strangers' ... is that it ?
Terrible and untrue advice. I know you mean well, but women are pretty much same everywhere: height, money, muscles and face, extroversion -- those are 95% of what matters for a man. I'll bring myself as an example, relatively polite, hyper intelligent man, average to slightly overweight, handsome face, 5'10". I had a lot more success everywhere when I started making more money simply due to the fact that I could spend more on dates and carve out time for myself with money (like hire a maid so I can use time spent cleaning on a night out). In U.S., I get very little attention as I got pushed out from above average height to average in the last few years. When I go to Asia or even South Europe, I get exponentially better results without changing anything else. In Northern Europe, I am below average height and women won't even acknowledge my existence. Though I do understand that you mean well, I just think your thinking on this is extremely romanticized and childish and I would hate to see men heartbroken taking this advice and going to Japan to date equipped only with politeness. I just returned from Japan, politeness made no difference, but going to more local clubs where I was taller than local men and not having to compete with taller foreigners did wonders. Same with just talking to women on the street in foreigner-friendly neighborhoods (I walked around Shinjuku for two days near my hotel and drank in Golden Gai without any luck, but then started talking with people on the street and asking them about their favorite bar and got so many new friends and some interested girls too).
In other words: don’t be a dick and don’t do dickmoves. But that doesn’t just apply to service people, it applies to everyone! #beexcellenttoeachother #partyon
I can only speak for myself, but I always am polite and friendly to people who serve me. The guy lying on the bed, Yes that is Rude, verging on arrogant, I would not like that at all.
Successful man do not need a date with Japanese woman. Why? They can not be sure the women loyality. Bcs of the cultural difference, woman can be a customer for a host services. Maybe she has another companion. Maybe she has a secret complicated history to hide. You can not direct and honest answer about that kind of questions. Maybe she can see successful foreign man as a "sugar daddy" or directly marriage potential. If you become sugar daddy, Japanese woman much much more expensive than other asian womans. If you become considered as a direct marriage potantial, you can not see womans true character before it's too late. Bcs she always play in that artifical marriage court. Good Japanese woman can be found only as a grandmothers age. Like many other countries. Modern lifestyle and global culture effects disturbed Japanese woman minds so much. Then... Equally successful or non successful foreign man and Japanese woman must be date. They can have a respect with each other without any play. They can talk each other more open and clear. They can enjoy sexuality without any reservations. And this sexual life longer then other interracial relationships. Bcs, Japanese woman age very slowly and gracefully...
This is kinda ironic as I always see japanese people treating service industry people badly, the customer is always king mentality is practiced here to an unhealthy degree on both sides.
@@AsagisLifeNoBSJapan I don’t know. It depends. Thing is with the hierarchical structure bad behavior towards people that are beneath you is basically encouraged. I mean, this is an issue that isn’t limited to the service industry. We all know how many people have to endure power harassment and bad working conditions under people who treat their employees badly because they are on top and because they grew up learning that if you’re on top you have the right to be treated differently than the people who are younger than you or have a lower status of some kind. The whole senpai kohai system or way of thinking is enabling this. There are positive ideals behind it but the reality is what it always is with people. They abuse positions of power. And in Japan you don’t have to be a rich or famous person to feel entitled behaving like an asshole towards others. It is true that the majority of people in Japan want peace and be nice and be treated nicely. But the sad truth is that there are way too many people who take advantage of the nice people and since they are so nice and because of the systems in place, people just endure harassment and bad working conditions. While those people who yell or complain to service people and bosses who treat their employees badly are disliked, they have nothing to lose. If they were really being judged they wouldn’t be able to behave that way without repercussions. If a customer would behave like an asshole in an establishment I own, I’d kick him out, same with someone who behaves badly at work or wherever else. It’s that easy but almost no one does it. Here’s to the hope that things will change for the better eventually.
so all americans and foreigners tend to smiles and are outgoing ???? Have you ever been to USA or Europe ? Yes some do, but most do not. Within Europe for example French people are known to be arrogant, people in Scandinavia are more reserved. I grew up in a European country and lived in USA for a longer period. But I know that Japanese and other fantasize about how romantic France and French people are, they get sadly disappointed when the travel to France. It is also called Paris syndrome. Especially Japanese women and Japanese tourists because Paris has been idealised in Japanese culture (also in Western culture) . But it goes the other way to. Western men and women traveling to Japan and Korea. In Korea there are a lot of western women in their 20s traveling here to meet men.
@@AsagisLifeNoBSJapan What is it that you do not understand ? I refer to your statement in the video. Or is it the word: tend ? Tend The word tend is a verb and means: regularly or frequently. Example: to behave in a particular way. Example: Children tend to like candy. We tend to have rainy season in Korea.
@@MadaraUchiha-xb7dpI am not an american (thank God for that ). I just refer to how some people in Europe perceive French people. But like many things in life it is often based on stereotyping and on prejudice.
I been a member of an Japanese Omiai Agency since 2021, still going, and not picked up by a Japanese woman. 😅. みんなさんとてもむずかしいですね。 I’d only get 1-2 request from Japanese women per year. I’ll send out 200-300 applications per year (due to my search looking for Japanese women’s who can speak English well enough ). Only get like 10 Omiai dates from those 300. only get 3-5 women who wants to date (only for a few weeks). 0 women so far wants to date seriously 😅. Just sharing my experience.
Laying on the bed is pretty gross and rude. It’s also pretty much immature. I deal with guys in business that have low interaction skills from time to time and that doesnt do well in business either. Some industries maybe. Like insurance and sales guys seem to be able to pull off stuff like that, but not in serious industries. Ive made this comment before and I think maybe you should give this a little more consideration than you seemed to give it in the live chat…that being (culture of honor). Lack of honor is a pandemic thats spread through almost every culture these days. American and also Japanese young men I meet. Women need to learn to honor men as well. Teaching everyone to have identity and purpose coupled with the power honor the goodness in others is a crucial principle in life. Be it dating or business or family or friendship. You cant survive without it.
Eh, all of that doesn't matter if you have money, unfortunately that's what women nowadays want, it doesn't matter which country you go, that's what it's going to make you successful with women, they'll happily overlook all of that rudeness if you have money, it doesn't matter what other good traits you have and it's really sad
Spoken like someone who knows absolutely nothing about women. Naturally there are always going to be some women out there who tend to only date jerks but these women date jerks whether they have money or not. In fact, if a woman is not one of these types its extremely unlikely that she would date a jerk simply because he had a lot of money. There are of course also genuine gold-diggers out there, but they actually make up only a miniscule percentage of the female population. Anyway, these warped beliefs you have about women are just your excuse to yourself for why your dating life is not more successful. Basically, instead of looking within yourself and realizing that it is your own attitude that is causing the problem you are putting all the blame on some perceived flaws in “all” women. My words are not meant as a put down by the way, but rather they should be taken as a wakeup call. Anyway, despite never really having had any money to speak of I have dated hundreds of beautiful women and yet only about 2 or 3% of the time has this lack of money been a potential problem.
@@MadaraUchiha-xb7dp not at all but it's easier to plan for future if you have funds than when you don't. If you want safe future , safe future for your baby and comfortable life - what is the number one resource you will need ??? Why are girls forced to go to Shinjuku - money . Always money .
@@yamazaki997 so all Japanese women came to Shinjuku for easy money from simp? If you came to Shinjuku for find Japanese women to date and starting crying because they are interested, you are stupid. There are so many Japanese women who work and live as not interested person. But you're always come in places like Shinjuku, date Gaijin Hunter or interested women who make you think you're special because you're are white foreigners. Nobody are forced to go Shinjuku. Money is important but you can earn it everywhere in Japan.
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This is spot on, I hear a lot of women here in the U.S. also say that they pay attention to how their dates treat waiters\waitresses in restaurants, or other service people.
Although in general we don't focus on politeness as much as people seem to in Japan, someone who is unkind to service people is displaying a broad indication that they see others as just a means to get what they want, rather than as people deserving of respect. In other words, they are someone who is primarily selfish, who thinks in terms of what they can get from others, rather than someone who is empathetic, who feels grateful to receive things.
If you're thinking of having a relationship with someone like this, you have to wonder -- do they also see you as a real relationship with another person? Do they care about your needs? Or are you just another thing that they want to have to provide them a service?
Interesting, not really interested in trying to get dates in Japan, but good luck to those who wants to have a date with a Japanese woman.
I went to Japan for 2 months. Some tourist areas some not so tourist areas (mino city for example) and the service staff almost always were so nice. Kind and helpful. Just really threw me off just to go into a Lawson's and have the staff treat me so well. It was hard not to be nice back, smiling showing appreciation, etc. but I did feel bit bad. The service staff in Japan tends to go above and beyond. At one of the hotels I asked for an extra pillow and an extra futon top because I'm 6'6 and it didn't cover me lol. The woman said of course please wait one moment and then she sprinted across the hotel and came back with the pillow and the futon topper. I thanked her and tried to take them from her but she refused and told me that she would carry them from my room. I was mind blown. I don't think I've ever seen a service person move that fast in my life. Another time I asked for some mustard while we were at amusement park. The staff apologized that they didn't have any. About 4 minutes later one of the service staff came running back into the restaurant. She had run to the opposite side of the park looking for mustard and found it and then ran back. While shopping for knives I asked if I could see another one of the same knife. The shop staff said of course said a few things to The knife sharpener and I only caught a little bit of it. I was confused cuz they were talking about a bicycle. Then I saw him get on a bicycle and spend 35 minutes biking to a different town and back to go get me another knife so I could compare the two patterns. Now my family is teasing me about how I make the Japanese run around for me.... The service staff there are insane. It was so weird. It was like being in another world. Even if they didn't have a high-paying job, I felt like almost all of the people in the service industries took pride in their work.
Love the video! Keep working hard. I agree with your point on treating service people with kindness and respect. Even if I am having a bad day I try to be respectful when I'm going into a store or resturant. The lying down in bed thing... People think because it's online they can be super casual.. They have no concept of etiquette. I would have probably told them to sit up and pay attention. It's probably the number one reason there not getting any dates..😂
Thanks for watching! It might be a common sense but like you said sometimes it's hard when you have bad days and such, so I thought it's nice to be reminded of 😌
I'm European living in Japan, and I also lived in the USA for 5 years.
The smiling thing is something I noticed a long time ago. Japanese people are polite when interacting, but not as polite when you're not actually talking. They don't smile, sometimes they push past you (on the train or in the street) and don't really say excuse me or sorry (same word anyway haha).
In European countries, smiling at people with any kind of verbal or non-verbal communication is very common, that's what I am used to so I smile at everyone. Some times it feels weird when I smile at people, but now you said it's ok, I will continue to do it! :)
you don't know Eastern Europe or France/Italy, people don't smile much, it's cultural
Im the same way always smiling at others but im in canada lol.
It's interesting that you mentioned how polite Japanese people are. I also check out videos of Japanese people visiting the U.S. and they mention how we are so outgoing and friendly. No matter where we are from, we are all human beings.
Just what I think. We Westerners admire Asians for polite, restrained behavior. Some Asians like the
chill, easygoing ways of the West. I think more of both for the Orient and Occident would be good, no?
I'm European living in Japan, but I lived in the USA for 5 years.
There is a difference. Japanese are polite to be respectful, most of the time Americans are polite because they want something from you (usually money).
Very true a little kindness goes a long way.
Great one. The universe is testing my Love for the woman I love. But it's an easy test to pass.
Social Skills, that is the most important thing. Which includes, learning the traditions and manners of the local culture.
Can't agree more
Thank you for the video. It helps me be more open minded 😊
Glad it was helpful! 😁
I would also say to those who are commenting and haven't lived in Japan: even if you think you're being very polite, Japanese tend to have different definitions as to what "polite" is... You might be speaking sincerely, eye contact, shaking hands, but then you might get a message from a friend saying, "they thought you were very intimidating and aggressive." I think this is also something that Japanese may not think about deeply, that a person from another culture doing their best to be polite may not even fit to what Japanese consider polite or not...
I always try to have a smile on my face and be as polite as possible with people, cost it literally costs me nothing to be nice.
I think it’s a very good video. My opinion about dating a Japan girl, is the same I have about meeting a girl everywhere around the world: it’s a miracle, finding true love.
3:10 haha nice in Brazil we also add this "né" at the end of a sentence with the same effect.
Excellent advice 👍
Also a random comment for Mr. Asagi: He looks so much like the actor Gary Oldman!
I commented about a month or so ago that he does. Having said that, Gary Oldman is such a great actor and can disappear into a role. How can we be sure it's not him? 🤔
He may be incognito.
He takes it as a compliment 😂
You are very wise ❤
In the US it is considered rude by most people to talk to someone from bed if they are not your close friend. But the US is not a monolith. It is more and more like Europe, with each state being different.
Similarly, there are many people in the US who value working in the retail or manual labor for a few years. Because until you go to work thinking, 'what is the next right thing to do?" you are unlikely to do well or ever get promoted. And the habit of asking that question often comes from doing a good job in retail or construction, or something similar. But the reason working in jobs like these is being valued more is partially a response to people who try to get office jobs and then waste time on their cell phones. For a good worker, doing that would be unthinkable: while you are on the clock, you should be looking for the next way to help. Someone who is used to a lower paid or harder job would not make such an awful mistake. But many in the US still do. So it's a real mix.
Just to let you know when it is pure Love you dont have to do anything it just happens beyond spoken language and comprehension😊
I got a good female friend in Japan I really like. She was always super appreciative of the kindness I showed her. Also she always really repaid my generosity. Wonderful woman in many ways. Not sure if lots of other Japanese women are the same but I would love to marry someone like her or specifically her if I get the chance.
You guys should date what’s stopping you two
Being patronizing or assuming is a turn off anywhere.
A few years ago I started consciously just saying nice things to service workers because it's easy to say a few nice words. It costs nothing, often not even time to just say something nice as you turn to leave. Yes, they are just doing their job and they are paid to do whatever they are doing but they are also people. I would assume that the social hierarchy in Japan makes it especially easy to view people serving you as inferior. Customers in Japan aren't kings, they are gods. This obviously feeds into our tribal monkey brains but as a society and as individuals we can do better.
Interesting! Is it possible to speak about potential dating between foreign women and Japanese men? There’s a lot of information for foreign men who live in Japan and interested in dating but not much for foreign women. Japanese men seem to be a mystery and getting to know them for friends or dating seems so mysterious.
Hey ... I just wanna say...
Keep going
a lot of this is your personal preference. most girls prefer that you treat THEM more politely.
Thanks for the advice :)
Any time! ☺️
@@AsagisLifeNoBSJapan 😁👍🏻
Be polite, but don't expect that to have any impact on your dating life. As a man, never take dating advices from women. They will list qualities but NEVER date people that fit that description, except for other secondary interests.
It's not that women don't appreciate those traits, it's just not the most important ones. Those are (in Japan as well as in every other country)
1) Be rich
2) Be tall
3) Be handsome
Okay. I continue helping people who trust what I do 🤗
We have a local saying here in my country that says that learn how to fish from the fishermen, not from the fish.
Don't forget. Be white@@virtual-viking
This philosophy works for deranged Western women. If we are talking a decent woman, yes how positive you treat service staff will tell them something about you. If you are looking for a woman that finds it attractive that you treat service staff like crap you should move on. it's better to be alone than be a crap person.
Thank you asagi for the useful tips ❤
Yes. Laying on the bed during consultation is extremely rude everywhere. 😅
I remember my first few times in Japan before I moved I would smile at strangers, but I would get a really weird look in return. I've heard its a very American thing to do and people might take it that you're an abnormal person, but maybe its also because I'm Asian American and Japanese people expect just white or black people from America 🫠
I've heard that if you smile at a stranger in Korea, they will think that you think they're stupid.
2:21 the question is what was he doing with his other hand? 😂
I don't trust Google, what is Heartbroken in katakana and hiragana?
What do you say about people who rarely smile? It's not that they don't want to, it just doesn't come to them naturally, so they have to force one. People used to say the only time I genuinely smile is whenever I'm laughing.
It comes naturally as you practice 👍🏻
I never smile unnecessarily too normally but if i have a date with a women (Japanese or not), I make a effort. When I am with friends, i smile sometimes too
@@MadaraUchiha-xb7dp Same here. Whenever I smile, it always looks forced or unnatural.
@@RyoShiki64 Dont force yourself if you dont want too. I rarely smile but when I do, it's always because I want to
@@MadaraUchiha-xb7dp Right, but sometimes I wonder if I'm unapproachable because of it.
You didnt mention but what about taking time to learn Japanese
I admit after 8 months learning Japanese i consider myself to be anout jplt n5 to n4 ish and hoping to be n3 ish in September when i plan to first visit
That's another topic and I made a video about how important it is to learn Japanese. It's in the playlist 😄
The remark about giving tips surprised me, as I was always told that tipping is not a thing jn Japan. What's the deal?
There is no tipping in Japan (thankfully). I think she was talking in a broad sense since in America we have a tipping culture and was giving an example of being invested.
@@MrKept1thanx for being discerning.
@@o.x.p I think the "gotten out of control part" is specific to the US and possibly Canada. As far as I'm aware, tipping is optional throughout Europe.
@@MrKept1It's actually one reason for me personally to never ever visit the States. Tipping is a symptom of a dying nation.
basically be nice
great video Asagi.
Thanks for the visit 😌
Fascinating
One thing that particularly stands out about Japanese women , is how they have a modest dignity and politeness about them. To me this makes them even more enchanting. I hope they never change! -Thankyou from England
Maybe he was trolling for a reaction lmfao😂
Have you ever had any surprisingly inappropriate clients (e.g doing an Omegle or saying something wrong).
Also surprised you put a shogun clip in the video haha
Yes, that behavior is considered rude here in the United States as well--but manners are in short supply, there's a lot of intergenerational knowledge that's evaporating between the bonds and some just lack social awareness. Nature and nurture, both gone awry.
I think he was resting on the bed hoping you might join him 😂
I think this goes beyond dating. Just be a good human being overall first and first and formost. Everyone should respect each other and their differences. And if you are planning on going to another country, dont forget that you are a guess in that country. So you should be even better. Try to learn the language, customs, culture, norms, etc… Everyone’s experience may vary, but kindness for the most part goes a long way. (Just maybe not in the U.S. LOL) But when I went to Japan last year for a while, the different between Japan and the U.S. was like night and day. I made a lot of friends while I was out there and we still talk. They want to learn more about me and I want to learn more about them. I cant wait to go back! 😊😊😊
Amazing
In the west, us women are attracted to men with extreme confidence.
I appreciate this video and the time you took to help us understand this. Thank you.
Where are we going on our date? 😉
So as you can see here the truth to dating Japanese women in their 30s is to be, as the Japanese like to say, serious and "mature". This means that you may have to not be yourself, or you might need to pretend to be more serious than you really are but ultimately you need to be slightly Robotic.
Do you have any video on this but for lgbt people?
Like, what kind of woman japanese women are into? If they're bisexual is the some kind of overall preference?
Being white with blue eyes will help even more 😉
Can't wait to do plastic surgery 😂
Seto kaiba
And tall
Being black with brown helps much more, especially in high-end settings.
@@newmoneymarcus N
Coming from the states, I used to smile to both men and women whenever I made eye contact. But, my Japanese friends told me to stop because I am also Asian and look too Japanese. Apparently, a Japanese-looking man going around smiling at strangers comes off too creepy in this country… So now I just maintain blank expression… 😐
I think treating service staff with decent respect is a green flag no matter the gender or nationality.
As a guy it would irk me out massively if she undeservingly treated a server poorly or with an attitude, I’d be walking out there asap.
Foreigners HACE A GOLDEN RULE TOO .OTHER WISE RENT A JAPANESE WOMAN WHICH IS VERY COMMON IN JAPAN ..DONT WRECK A CULTURE WHEN IS ALREADY BROKEN DUE
Thank you for these secrets, i will try these out in japan in october and let you know if it worked.
I thought tipping was considered condescending in Japan?
Is there a way to work with you? I will be moving to Japan in a couple months, I recently got approved for my Highly Skilled Visa. I lived in Tokyo for 6 months last year, and plan on spending the rest of my life in Japan.
Link for my dating advice service is in the description 🤗
If I bow and smile simultaneously, I kind of look like I have back pain though lol
..thank you..
That new show shogun on Hulu is pretty good.
Here it's on Disney+. I just watched the first 2 episodes.
Thank you for this tip Asagi i will remember that with all of what you teach as before when i go to Japan.
Laying in bed for a video chat is pretty informal even for the US lol
I don’t think it’s rude, just weird behavior with someone you aren’t close with
I think this was online, right? Not IRL. I HOPE NOT!!
@@michaelrmurphy2734 yeah even online I mean
Main point dont be a butt to service industry staff
That behavior of the guy laying in the bed for the consult would be viewed as rude in America also Asagi
so i should date my japanese girlfriend right?
Treating service industry workers poorly, going to church in casual dress (shorts, flip-flops, t-shirts).
I think that's rude in just about any culture including here in the US. Certain individuals were just brought up with different manners 🤷
The REAL dating advice is to be the 6666 man. As in 6 feet, 6 pack abs, 6 inches, and 6 figures. Sure, it will get men "dates," but "dates" don't mean anything, especially if the first date fails.
The type of advice is good for "husband" material. These tips ARE important for LONG TERM STABILITY. HOWEVER, women have TWO TYPES of attraction. The first is loyalty and stability. Asagi is correct about this. Without the second attraction, the "dated" man will end up being a "friend."
The second part is the LUST factor. This type of attraction gets her wanting to rip your clothes off. If Basic Bob or Cubicle Carl is respectful, etc, it means NOTHING if he isn't "lusted" after. Eventually, Basic Bob and Cubicle Carl will be seen as a friendzoned husband/boyfriend.
Be a decent human being, speak the language - you'll be fine. Just a heads up, dating Japanese women is a lot different if you're a Westerner; cultural differences appear very quickly. You both need to be open minded and appreciative of the differences.
場の空気を読む (Ba no kūki wo yomu). I think it's a true for many country
I'll fit right in with the politeness buuut no bs if i see bs 😅
judging others based on one man laying on a bed looking at his phone - huh - what kind of consultation was that ?
the only positive suggestion I heard was 'smiling at strangers' ... is that it ?
Just have a lot of money.
Terrible and untrue advice. I know you mean well, but women are pretty much same everywhere: height, money, muscles and face, extroversion -- those are 95% of what matters for a man. I'll bring myself as an example, relatively polite, hyper intelligent man, average to slightly overweight, handsome face, 5'10". I had a lot more success everywhere when I started making more money simply due to the fact that I could spend more on dates and carve out time for myself with money (like hire a maid so I can use time spent cleaning on a night out). In U.S., I get very little attention as I got pushed out from above average height to average in the last few years. When I go to Asia or even South Europe, I get exponentially better results without changing anything else. In Northern Europe, I am below average height and women won't even acknowledge my existence. Though I do understand that you mean well, I just think your thinking on this is extremely romanticized and childish and I would hate to see men heartbroken taking this advice and going to Japan to date equipped only with politeness. I just returned from Japan, politeness made no difference, but going to more local clubs where I was taller than local men and not having to compete with taller foreigners did wonders. Same with just talking to women on the street in foreigner-friendly neighborhoods (I walked around Shinjuku for two days near my hotel and drank in Golden Gai without any luck, but then started talking with people on the street and asking them about their favorite bar and got so many new friends and some interested girls too).
So you date Gaijin Hunter and what?
Just leave it at height and face, but yeah
One thing abiut Japan still perplexes me.
Why do they think Aerith Gainsborough is ugly? 🤷🏻♂️
They don't, they just prefer a more traditionally Asian/Japanese feminine presentation
2:15 it's rude everyfuckingwhere, holy shit
In other words: don’t be a dick and don’t do dickmoves. But that doesn’t just apply to service people, it applies to everyone! #beexcellenttoeachother #partyon
I can only speak for myself, but I always am polite and friendly to people who serve me.
The guy lying on the bed, Yes that is Rude, verging on arrogant, I would not like that at all.
Successful man do not need a date with Japanese woman. Why? They can not be sure the women loyality. Bcs of the cultural difference, woman can be a customer for a host services. Maybe she has another companion. Maybe she has a secret complicated history to hide. You can not direct and honest answer about that kind of questions. Maybe she can see successful foreign man as a "sugar daddy" or directly marriage potential. If you become sugar daddy, Japanese woman much much more expensive than other asian womans. If you become considered as a direct marriage potantial, you can not see womans true character before it's too late. Bcs she always play in that artifical marriage court. Good Japanese woman can be found only as a grandmothers age. Like many other countries. Modern lifestyle and global culture effects disturbed Japanese woman minds so much. Then...
Equally successful or non successful foreign man and Japanese woman must be date. They can have a respect with each other without any play. They can talk each other more open and clear. They can enjoy sexuality without any reservations. And this sexual life longer then other interracial relationships. Bcs, Japanese woman age very slowly and gracefully...
This is kinda ironic as I always see japanese people treating service industry people badly, the customer is always king mentality is practiced here to an unhealthy degree on both sides.
It's true that some treat service people badly. But also those people are definitely disgusted and judged.
@@AsagisLifeNoBSJapan
I don’t know. It depends.
Thing is with the hierarchical structure bad behavior towards people that are beneath you is basically encouraged.
I mean, this is an issue that isn’t limited to the service industry.
We all know how many people have to endure power harassment and bad working conditions under people who treat their employees badly because they are on top and because they grew up learning that if you’re on top you have the right to be treated differently than the people who are younger than you or have a lower status of some kind.
The whole senpai kohai system or way of thinking is enabling this. There are positive ideals behind it but the reality is what it always is with people. They abuse positions of power.
And in Japan you don’t have to be a rich or famous person to feel entitled behaving like an asshole towards others.
It is true that the majority of people in Japan want peace and be nice and be treated nicely. But the sad truth is that there are way too many people who take advantage of the nice people and since they are so nice and because of the systems in place, people just endure harassment and bad working conditions.
While those people who yell or complain to service people and bosses who treat their employees badly are disliked, they have nothing to lose.
If they were really being judged they wouldn’t be able to behave that way without repercussions.
If a customer would behave like an asshole in an establishment I own, I’d kick him out, same with someone who behaves badly at work or wherever else. It’s that easy but almost no one does it.
Here’s to the hope that things will change for the better eventually.
so all americans and foreigners tend to smiles and are outgoing ???? Have you ever been to USA or Europe ? Yes some do, but most do not. Within Europe for example French people are known to be arrogant, people in Scandinavia are more reserved. I grew up in a European country and lived in USA for a longer period.
But I know that Japanese and other fantasize about how romantic France and French people are, they get sadly disappointed when the travel to France. It is also called Paris syndrome. Especially Japanese women and Japanese tourists because Paris has been idealised in Japanese culture (also in Western culture) . But it goes the other way to. Western men and women traveling to Japan and Korea. In Korea there are a lot of western women in their 20s traveling here to meet men.
"ALL" Americans "TEND" to smile? I'm sorry but you don't make sense lol.
I hope you're not a american for saying French is arrogant...
@@AsagisLifeNoBSJapan What is it that you do not understand ? I refer to your statement in the video.
Or is it the word: tend ?
Tend
The word tend is a verb and means: regularly or frequently. Example: to behave in a particular way.
Example: Children tend to like candy. We tend to have rainy season in Korea.
@@MadaraUchiha-xb7dpI am not an american (thank God for that ). I just refer to how some people in Europe perceive French people. But like many things in life it is often based on stereotyping and on prejudice.
@@배영근-제주도 Ok I thought you think French are all arrogant. Sorry for that and maybe there are americans who are good people
So in other words "Manners Maketh Man"
Atarashi Gakkoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!
Arigatou gozaimasu!!!
Tokyo Calling!!!!! They are taking over America!!! And the Jimmy Kimmel Live show!
そうですね。レストランで笑顔がよくありますね。コンビニで笑顔をよく失います。😓 たぶん自分たち一緒帰った方がない…私は洗剤を買います。
I been a member of an Japanese Omiai Agency since 2021, still going, and not picked up by a Japanese woman. 😅. みんなさんとてもむずかしいですね。 I’d only get 1-2 request from Japanese women per year. I’ll send out 200-300 applications per year (due to my search looking for Japanese women’s who can speak English well enough ). Only get like 10 Omiai dates from those 300. only get 3-5 women who wants to date (only for a few weeks). 0 women so far wants to date seriously 😅. Just sharing my experience.
Nobody said it's easy.
i swear if she says gifts...
Success for men with Japanese girls. Is the tongue and in the groove
What about you your boyfriend is a foreigner
am gay
I wish Japanese women were interested in black men with braids and facial hair 😢
Laying on the bed is pretty gross and rude. It’s also pretty much immature. I deal with guys in business that have low interaction skills from time to time and that doesnt do well in business either. Some industries maybe. Like insurance and sales guys seem to be able to pull off stuff like that, but not in serious industries. Ive made this comment before and I think maybe you should give this a little more consideration than you seemed to give it in the live chat…that being (culture of honor). Lack of honor is a pandemic thats spread through almost every culture these days. American and also Japanese young men I meet. Women need to learn to honor men as well. Teaching everyone to have identity and purpose coupled with the power honor the goodness in others is a crucial principle in life. Be it dating or business or family or friendship. You cant survive without it.
Lol k boomer
個人的には英語で喋るとちょっと無礼になりがちですが、
日本語で喋ると逆に非常に丁寧になる傾向がる。
しかし、
いざ、何回であったら、日本語でも徐々にため口になったり、関西弁の突っ込みが入ったりするようになりますね。
笑顔はね、子猫とかを見たら自ずと口が綻びますねが、２０年以上、ドイツで住んでるのに、ロシアの「余り微笑まない癖」が出てきますね。
正直、中1から交際したい相手なら日本人は一番と思っていますが、本気でつき合ったことがないですね。
ですから、現在が、以前の中退した大学の単位をも一回とって、様々な資格をとって、日本に戻りたいです。
ただし、差しが増しくに聞こえるんですが、３年後の前に日本に戻りたいなら、ネット上で自分と馬が合う日本人女性と巡り会ったりする手もある聞いたことがりますね。
最近、SNS上であるクリエイターとしょっちゅうライブ配信を出来るようになったが、
彼は自分の仲介になりたいと言ってるですが。
彼が先日せっかくタイプの子と紹介したかった「こいつは頭が良い、彼女募集中で、美容師が良いと」言った瞬間、向こうはめっちゃひってたから、自分は、無理矢理に人を何かをさせるタイプではないので、個人的な自由には常に心構えます。
もう、今年３０代の真ん中を迎える僕は、ネッと上で自分に合う、日本人の女性を出会えるチャンスはどうですかね？
他のオプションがあったら、教えてください。
1. Be a white guy 😂
The person who is lying in bed while talking is just plane rude.
Eh, all of that doesn't matter if you have money, unfortunately that's what women nowadays want, it doesn't matter which country you go, that's what it's going to make you successful with women, they'll happily overlook all of that rudeness if you have money, it doesn't matter what other good traits you have and it's really sad
Spoken like someone who knows absolutely nothing about women. Naturally there are always going to be some women out there who tend to only date jerks but these women date jerks whether they have money or not. In fact, if a woman is not one of these types its extremely unlikely that she would date a jerk simply because he had a lot of money. There are of course also genuine gold-diggers out there, but they actually make up only a miniscule percentage of the female population. Anyway, these warped beliefs you have about women are just your excuse to yourself for why your dating life is not more successful. Basically, instead of looking within yourself and realizing that it is your own attitude that is causing the problem you are putting all the blame on some perceived flaws in “all” women. My words are not meant as a put down by the way, but rather they should be taken as a wakeup call. Anyway, despite never really having had any money to speak of I have dated hundreds of beautiful women and yet only about 2 or 3% of the time has this lack of money been a potential problem.
That’s Andrew Tate talking, look where he is now.
your mindset is also pretty sad. get rid of your zorn addiction first and learn to accept yourself
Disclaimer: Must be tall and attractive for it to work lulz just kiddin'
I'm polite and nice to people and still no one wants to date me so 🤷♂🤷♂
You have a potential though. It must be something you do unconsciously. You gotta find that out 😉
How is your physical appearance?
This is all common sense. Too bad you actually have to tell people the obvious.
not married is one of them.
If you understand why so many girls are in Shinjuku than you know what trait is most important 💰💲💵💸💰
So womens are only at Shinjuku ?
@@MadaraUchiha-xb7dp not at all but it's easier to plan for future if you have funds than when you don't. If you want safe future , safe future for your baby and comfortable life - what is the number one resource you will need ??? Why are girls forced to go to Shinjuku - money . Always money .
@@yamazaki997 so all Japanese women came to Shinjuku for easy money from simp? If you came to Shinjuku for find Japanese women to date and starting crying because they are interested, you are stupid. There are so many Japanese women who work and live as not interested person. But you're always come in places like Shinjuku, date Gaijin Hunter or interested women who make you think you're special because you're are white foreigners. Nobody are forced to go Shinjuku. Money is important but you can earn it everywhere in Japan.
What amazing self-dellusional crap. Women like a guy being nice and respectful ??? .. Wait a few more drinks and it'll all change.
This is so odd to me cause in the west it’s the complete opposite
1st
I’d destroy the dating game out there lol