Why Foreign Men Struggle Dating In Japan
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 18 ธ.ค. 2022
- Rupa / @rupasensei
Shazaib / @shazaibt
Jake / @jakenbakelive
/ jakenbakelive
Harry close2.jp?igshi...
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Perfect!
Thank you for putting in this work and effort to connect our cultures and countries. I am looking to travel there next year and I’m so excited and nervous. 😅😂
I definitely don't deserve to be the thumbnail on this video. I am no expert in this field haha. But thanks for having me Takashi!
But look at the comments!
People come here to hear your opinion haha
Thank you too🙏
Hi Jake :)
I have seen some Jake's videos ,which seemed to be too disrespectful for japanese, some for men and others for females. This man make me so disgusting as japanese.
If I see you in japan, I must apply osoto-gari for you.
😂
He is expert in the chinese department.
Rupa nailed it the first 5 minutes of the video, I dated a Japanese girl for about a year while living in Japan and she was looking at it as serious/having family type relationship as they tend to set things on a timeline, date for how many years, get married, do stuff together for about a year or so then start a family etc... If you're not serious they don't want to spend the time. Of course the whole foreigner can be three different things. One they're attracted to the fact that we're a bit more upfront as opposed to Japanese guys who are a bit more timid and shy. Two is they might see a foreigner as a one time, do something different in their life but ultimately marry a Japanese guy because they're not used to the language barrier/customs etc...Three... dare I say this, the ones learning English and/or live closer to places with a bit more foreigners (city, US bases etc..) want something different and want to live/get out of Japan scenario as that's all they've been to all their lives not to knowing that Japan life has been great for me IMO. A lot of girls in Japan have this agreement type mindset where if you tell them you like/love them then its really that. Whereas if you do this whole actions speak louder than words kind of deal, they take notice but they wont have a clue until you tell them. So my #1 advice is just be straight up to them and they will with you.
Asian women don't like black men
Agreed, Just be blunt and straightforward in what you want.
Very easy to do. If you want to sleep with them, then say that is what you want. ON THIS DATE AND THIS TIME. Break down the entire itinerary for example.
Dinner at 8
A walk in a park and scenic cab ride at 11
Sex afterward.
Trust me, it works on most. NOT ALL
if they're westernised?, fugettaboutit...not happening.
@@hainavidotcom Asian women don't like black men
@@clarencegilkie7369 Where is your proof troll? Because I have empirical data that says otherwise. As in multiple children, happily married, and wealthy in Japan. Troll elsewhere.
So it sounds like they take verbal consent very seriously. I like that a lot.
That Australian guy's attitude was great, he even asked Takashi questions which I found really nice of him
Dude has amazing energy, would love to have a friend like him for a drink
you can tell he is a successful guy - confident, presents himself very well and has charisma
You're beautiful Laura ;)
@@lancele6832 and you're a simp no wonder you're still single
korean dont like happy and charizmatic people? im from poland and we love them@@user-xf4wx1fp3m
Maybe it's a generational thing, but I came to Japan in the late 80's, and it was super easy dating. I took an immediate interest in the culture, learned enough of the language to navigate my days, and it worked. Granted I was in close proximity to folks used to being around gaijin since I was Air Force in Okinawa, but when I moved to mainland to Fukuoka it wasn't the case, not many gaijin were around at all, but still was incredibly easy to meet girls highly interested to go on dates. Anyway, met the love of my life in Fukuoka in 1993, and 30 years later, 27 years of marriage, and 3 kids, we're happy in Texas!
Your story put a smile on my face, happy to hear your marriage still going strong☝️
Can I just say that you are just overall cool.
Celtic-Texan is just an excellent profile name. And the Japanese family aspect.
Just a really cool mix of cultures involved here.
Crazy, my dad was stationed in Japan around this time (Marines), got married about 27 years ago, had 3 kids, and lives in Texas (his whole life outside of the military).
Wow that is so wonderful! Thank you for telling us xo
uh oh... hope it wasn't that "super easy" as it was for some of your military colleagues in Okinawa
It's amazing: The half-Japanese guy from Brooklyn may as well be any Italian guy from Brooklyn, from the way he talks, to his outfit and his posture. He's still a New Yorkers through and through.
I just posted the same thing. Shout out to that dude.
He is more New Yorker than the ones left behind in New York 🤣
Because he was raised there.
@@sagarbehera NYC accent is not dead yet, hes living proof
Definitely GAIJIN. Born outside of Japan (Gai) + person (Jin).
When my sister heard that Japanese women would take 1 month until they go out on a date, she immediately said that it was so they could do a whole bunch of preparations for the date (new clothes, make-up and hair appointments, skin treatments, etc.)
So, which McDonald's are we going to today?
I think it's mostly because they have busy work schedules in Japan
American woman should learn something here
@@AnonymousGameWarden Id rather they didnt. Do you really want a first date with a stranger to be such an intense weighted event? A months worth of preparation when you don't even know if you like this person?
I don't oppose dating with the intention of getting married down the line, but it seems like Asian cultures in general hit the gas on the expectations WAY too soon.
@@AnonymousGameWarden Pathetic If a woman Is at at least average looking dont need to take 1 months for checking clothes make up and others treatment because She can do this in few days 🤦🏻🤦🏻🤦🏻
You should definitely interview foreign Asian men about dating in Japan. I myself found it more difficult to date in Japan than in America because Japanese people's perception of me was that I looked Japanese or even Korean even though I am Vietnamese American. Other Asians such as my indian and Indonesian friends found some unique difficulties dating in Japan as well. Being Asian in a homogeneous society is quite difficult because many Japanese girls I meet would rather date someone who looks completely different than someone who look familiar to them even though the cultural and language differences are vast.
I guess I kind of understand the mentality a little bit. Like they think if they're gonna go foreign they're gonna go big/as foreign as possible. Although I would think South Asian is different enough in terms of appearance and culture.
Well, its not really racist but they dont find non white attractive. some exception being the black americans. if you get really close them they will tell you that they find black people scary(one of the girl told me). Also, I have seen the image of non developed countries is not good so they dont wanna associate with that. usually japanese girls have very limited knowledge about the america or some other countries. They think its heaven and everything is good, they are gentleman. I know a white guy he use dating app he starts with sex talk and get laid 70% of the time, if an asian guy do that he will be called a pervert..
three big reasons why japanese doesn't make good friends:
first, they makes zero efforts to speak other languages and anyway when we try to speak japanese they laugh at our accents and they don't forgive bad pronounciations
secondly, they refuse to show their feelings no matter how polite, kind and respectful we are. just because they refuse to put us in their priviledged friendship circle (in fact it's only when they get drunk, it's pathetic)
and thirdly, they love to criticize the others in their back. they judge them without knowing us they don't give us any chance. they don't tell our mistakes, how can we improve ourselves.
i like japan, for what it has naturally, but i do not get why its locals are so well seen in the world. they don't deserve so much of praise as "super kind-hearted people"
*All five men are so good looking they look like models. I do not think any of these men have trouble dating in Japan, in the Outer Space, or even Under the Sea. But if you interview to a guy who looks like Jack Black or a young John Lithgow, you might get a different story.*
we do have a common humanity , but japanese only swears by cultural differences and language skills when they face us westerners. i don't understand why many in the world appreciate japanese. and i also don't understand those japanese who says "please come to japan" or "thank you to say good things of our country" . most westerners are different from them , they're direct, honest , outgoing and japanese are all shy , indirect, cold and reserved (except the ones in other countries). i don't understand why they would be happy to see us in japan if we can't interact each other properly .
The first guy really sold the experience for me.
Straight forward confessions. Organised times.
Just suits my personality.
From personal experience, it's hard being able to tell exactly what Japanese women are thinking. I've had dates where things seemed to have gone very well that resulted in complete silence a day later with literally no explanation or reasoning. The language barrier is somewhat of a problem, but most women I've met were able to hold conversations well enough to get their thoughts across.
Let’s be honest, that experience is not unique to Japanese women.
@@al1999 men have too much freedom, with rigid traditionalism and conservatism, this will not happen, as in Russia, Belarus, Iran, Turkmenistan, Saudi Arabia, Qatar and North Korea lol
@@al1999 Nah your comment is just kinda funny. People are allowed to have their own standards, man and woman. If they don't choose you then tough luck.
@@alexlei2235 This AI dude is either trolling or a magnificent specimen of incelus primus. They don't reproduce very well so they are pretty rare, it's a nice find!
@@al1999 You're right. Women had less rights 80-100 years ago, and they were only allowed to stay at home. I'm glad many countries have evolved since then.
as an asian foreigner here in Japan, who looks like a Japanese or rather won't be able to tell me apart unless I speak, it is harder for us, compared to someone who looks totally foreign.
haven't seen any interviews on the opinions of people who looks japanese but is not and their experience
That's tough man, probably impossible for you to date. Sorry man. That's worse than when foreign women come to Japan and try to date foreign guys here.
@Seth Aldrich the things Is at least for me, i came to japan to meet japanese people and experience there culture. I wouldn't want to date a foreign woman when I can just do that back in my hometown. So yes I could see why it would be hard for foreign woman to date foreign men
Well, I guess it will be easier if you speak Japanese fluently
Speak perfect Japanese. I am Chinese but speak perfect Japanese. And I have my best dating life in Japan. There is no other way. Speak native level Japanese
Same in most asian countries dude. Us ppl who are in-between aren't exciting enough. I've experienced same in S.Korea and Hong Kong. White dudes have it a lot easier, been like that for many years now
The guy you interviewed at 6:30 is a very famous live streamer here in the USA, his name is JakenBake and he's a legitimately good person. There is a video of him saving a random Japanese woman from a drunk man who was chasing her. So cool to see him in a random interaction like this and not be known.
He’s literally the top comment from a month ago lol
@@Chadwinw I don't see him.
@@EpsteinsRope huh weird his comment has 12k likes
Dude just walked into a ton of exposure lol guess good things do happen to good people
handsome squidward jaw filler🗿
wow, your thumbnail really paid out!! Didnt expect JakeNBake to be featured in your videos. Good job dude!
Thank you so much for watching!!
Actually some of the interviewees are my real friends lol
It’s fun ti interview someone I know haha
Check their social media in the description!!
wow u got jakenbake I see PagMAn
Please interview some jpnese to know how they think about nepal and nepalese people please takashii
You are a legend Takashi!
@@Manishkatuwal135 I doubt they think about such a small culture 😅
So you are a scammer you interviewed your friends what an ass are you, you should donate the money you're making with this video
That was really interesting! As a Chinese woman from the USA with dating experience here and abroad, I get really turned off when men seem to only be interested because I'm Asian, like the concept of "Asian fetish" or "yellow fever" turns me off, and so when you interviewed that 3rd guy who said it's a weird turn off when women are only interested in him because he's foreign, that was really refreshing for me to hear! I shouldn't be surprised to hear this happens for men too, but it IS my first time ever hearing a guy say that, so that was cool. Thank you for your always interesting and insightful videos Takashii!
I relate too but in a different circumstance. I play video games and there are so many gamer guys that have this dream of a gamer girlfriend so I've encountered many guys in those games that attach like leeches if they find out I'm a gamer girl and it is so creepy when people attach before knowing you as a person. Big ick factor. I'm also Swedish and while it thankfully is less common now there are occasionally people with a Swedish fetish too. The creepiest was a man from Africa that approached me in the library in my home town and starting to stroke my arm saying he had never seen light skin before and started touching my hair and stuff, then asking inappropriate questions. I definitely haven't had to deal with it to the degree you've probably had to deal with it but you are not alone and my heart goes out to you! ❤️
@@AmbiCahira Thanks for sharing your story! Must be disheartening when you hope to make some great friendships from gaming only for them to weird you out like that :( Also your encounter in the library is definitely very creepy! Ugh, so sorry to hear it, and I wish you only better and better experiences from here
I've heard this perspective quite a few times, and I understand why it would turn you off as perhaps you find it dehumanizing. I would try to reframe it a bit though....and I realize the difference is quite subtle. I don't believe all men have an Asian fetish per say, but I believe they know what physical features they're attracted to, and as such, the opposite features (i.e. - a classic blonde party girl, for instance), simply won't be attractive to them (in most cases). So if you find out that guy has dated asian girls in his last 2-3 relationships, that's not enough, unto itself, to call it an Asian fetish. You could argue that this is a deep rooted issue on the part of these men, but I think that's jumping the gun...and it could simply be more of a function of his biology. Just wondering though, what signs do you see when you think the guy is "only interested in you" because of your Asian-ness? I think a lot of relationships start out like that anyway where physical attributes may have put 2 people together (regardless of types involved), but after 2-3 dates.....both of you should know if there's something more there. Anyway, just my 2 cents.
Can you please elaborate on what makes someone liking your appearance a bad thing? Like, aren't you always doing the same to other people when you first get interested in them? If you like their face, you get interested, it's that simple. So if a guy finds asian eyes (the rest of the features vary a lot depending on the person, but the eyes are always very similar) attractive, then what's the problem? What even is this so called "asian fetish" or "yellow fever" thing? As a brazilian I never heard of it. I'm intrigued.
@@wadexyz As an Aussie with Asian background things I would look out for...always talking about my background or ethnicity, stereotyping (eg: asian girls do this or that), putting down certain aspects of my ethnicity but glorifying other bits, putting down other ethnicities or races (eg: I prefer asian girls cos white girls are too feminist etc...). There are too many subtle signs to list...
How's nobody in the comment section mentioning how goddamn wholesome and chill that first Aussie guy is!? My dude's got a massively likeable personality!
Cool dude, dont be ashamed of being gay for the guy.
😂jk, dont take seriously.
@@pagodebregaeforro2803 Lmao you got him
@@legendsofcelestite.officia5398I thought he seemed too cocky and overconfident. And, well, dumb.
@@kendalson7100That’s what western or overall girls like isn’t it?
Being an extravert is something that gets actively promoted in Australia. You tend to see folk that "act" that way to generally be in sales or marketing.
Takashi you’re awesome, keep up these vids!
Didn't expect to see Jakenbake here lol
He is literally in the thumbnail and yet you didn't expect him?
@@allindiaprowrestling8676 Meaning I didn't expect him to be in one of these videos. Not that I was surprised he popped up mid video?
Yeah this guy somehow always manage to interview youtubers and streamers without notcing it himseld.
Fr lmaoo
@@allindiaprowrestling8676 Myself, I wasn't 100% it was Jake before watching.
About the Australian guy.
Congratulations, Takashi. You found yourself a new friend
Keep up the great work! I love watching and learning from your videos
I love watching these interviews because he so polite with all his questions and gets right into the heart of it
I struggled because I'm Australian and very direct whereas Japanese girls play a lot of games and expect you to be able to ignore what they're saying to your face and understand what they aren't saying. It's a game where you don't know the rules until you've been there long enough to figure it out.
I think that’s not just Japanese girls 😂
@@boofboyriq As an international student most women don’t say what they want but Japanese women are dark souls of that
@@znaz9012meet more women 😂😂
@@boofboyriq true but with Japanese girls it’s like they’re on steroids when it comes to confusing men
Theze hoes fr
The last guy went from brooklyn accent to Japanese in 0 seconds flat.. pretty impressive .. i know his grandma is proud.. 👍
Interesting group of people nice job with the interviews!
This Australian man has done a great service, really interesting to hear all that. And of course. Takashii thank you.
Takashii!!! Love your videos man, you're by far my favorite Japanese TH-camr at the moment as I will travel Japan one day for sure and I love learning about your guys culture. Cheers from New Jersey, USA!!
I love your channel Takashii! It has really helped me with practicing realistic Japanese past textbooks. I will be visiting my friends from Tokyo and their family this Spring!
I love this channel!
i like the first interview.. really casual and fun !!
Seeing Rupa in this video was a trip. We used to hang out in Melbourne a few times. If you're reading this Rupa sorry I never contacted you more or we never got to hung out when you were fresh in Japan all those years ago, I was absolutely swamped with work at the time (and freaking out trying to find more). It's crazy how far you've come.
Is this Emily?
is this bartholomew
is this quandale dingle?
Is this Gru from Despicable Me?
is this Dwayne TheRockSolitude?
The kokuhaku confession is by far the biggest difference between Japan and other countries. It is understandable in some ways but at the same time for Westerners, it can seem so abrupt and unnatural. Like if you expect a kokuhaku after a week or two, then everything changes and you’re automatically on the path to getting married in their eyes. It just seems extremely fast in many ways. I don’t know why Japanese people don’t think it’s fast. It’s kinda nuts.
when you mean kokuhaku you mean asking for a girlfriend or asking her to be your wife after 2 weeks?
@@khov asking for a girlfriend
Japanese are quite conservative and traditional, like most Asians. It used to be similar in Europe or America back in the days. The expectations of marriage, of having kids / family at certain age, "old goods lady after 25/30 years" and so on.
Also, no matter what most people may think or believe, marriage was a form of transaction for most of our history. It is not an institution of "love". I mean, why would you need a paper to prove you love one another? You need it only for formal reasons and as a guarantee of it lasting till death or really serious fuck-up (but that is no longer valid with divorce being considered something normal). In Asia, marriage is still often considered a form of "investment", a cold calculation, and that's why a lot of people tend to treat it differently than we do. You can easily verify someone's income and prospects, it doesn't take years to show up. Not that it's wrong because most marriages in the west end up loveless anyway so here you at least have that "calculated part" still keeping you together.
@@DrAhzek i feel like love is a gamble no matter how many years you know someone is still a gamble to choose someone especial that understand how hard is to maintain long term relationship
@@DrAhzek “Marriage is a transaction” the fact that more people do you not understand this is the sole reason why most marriages fail in the west. Everywhere outside of Western Europe and US/Canada, The women pretty much understand it’s give in take and that love will be there but it’s a horrible foundation. I bet if more western people actually talked to immigrant women and men living in the west, some will find out that the foreigners are together because usually the woman had nothing to begin and she met the dude when they were like 16-18 and never left. Aka Survival
Id be curious to see interviews on whether people use dating apps and which ones. If its local dating apps or overseas
It’s very sweet of you to do your part for international relations. I feel like I’ve been getting signs from the universe to study Japanese this past week for some reason. 🌸 Maybe before I travel the world. And then today my CD player was stuck in Japanese language mode. Which may be divine humour.
Signs are real, go for it!
Do it
Awesome video as always Takashii!
I have been living in Japan for about 3 months now (staying for at least 2 more years), and have recently thought about this a lot. I think the most difficult thing in dating here (as a straight European guy), is that Japanese girls don't really communicate if you do something they don't like or aren't used to. I've had some situations where the girl lost interest from one moment to another and never texted me again, while in Europe girls would be a bit more explicit with respect to why they don't want to meet anymore. Even though it hurts, it's something that non-Japanese people have to get used to. I feel like with Japanese girls I have literally 0 clue what they are thinking, as they rarely talk about their feelings/emotions in general.
Honestly personally, even if I think "kokuhaku" (confession) is a bit unusual, I really like the concept because it makes sure that both people involved in the relationship are on the same page, while in Europe there are a lot of scenarios where there can be misunderstandings because one of them thinks they're a couple and the other doesn't.
Keep up the awesome work!!!
Oh that's what it's like for women in Europe, men don't communicate feelings and just ghost out of nowhere 🤣🤣🤣 well Ireland anyway
@@RichPoorGrl 🤭🤭😂😂
I agree, the concept of "kokuhaku" is more appealing to me as a social ritual for dating. I feel like the "casual dating" of the West is a kind of "lazy" approach to treating someone a "cut above" how you might normally approach another person.
I remember watching a Jubilee video of this European woman who was in love with this guy and called him her boyfriend after like the first date or something. He was American and just thought of her as a friend or that it was something casual lol.
@@novivianngo which episode was it?
Yes, when I was in my early 20’s I managed a Japanese restaurant (for my English mostly) I was the only white American. I began dating the most beautiful Japanese young lady . She had only been in the u s for 6 months although her English was very good. After about 3 months she asked if I loved her and my reply was yes I believed I did. Her response was then why won’t you marry me.
It was an eye opening and difficult for me to process. I was the only son in my family and our culture was so different. We dated for a tumultuous year and things became to difficult to continue, but we were both under 25 and not ready. Still I (and she) remembers our time fondly. She called back when I turned 50 to see how my life turned out. Voicemail. I couldn’t return the call.
Why not?
@@MuzzaHukka Probably changed her mind and felt embarrassed so blocked the numbers? It's a bit strange to go asking about your past dates 30 years later. Might have been a idea under the influence of alcohol haha.
"She called back when I turned 50 to see how my life turned out. Voicemail. I couldn’t return the call." What's astonishing about this story is you lived in the same place with the same phone number at 50 as your early 20's. I mean I'm younger than you but grew up without cell phones (I didn't get one until I was 22). I don't even remember the landline number for the house I lived in through highschool, lol. So it's astonishing this chick would remember the number of someone she dated for one year nearly 30 years prior and that you still used the number.
@@tsdobbi I can confirm this story. I was the phone.
@@tsdobbi I vouch for him I'm the phone number
Love watching your videos. I’m learning so much! You ask good questions and listen well.
Suggestion:
In your intro - speak a bit slower. It sounds like you’re in a hurry or don’t care about your topic. This I know is not true, I know. You care a lot and you content is excellent!
Thank you so much. I now want to come to Japan. 🎉
This guy was really good at this interview
Keep up the good content Takashi. I’m learning more about the Japanese culture with every video you post. ありがとうございます.
oh no... dont turn into some nasty sexpat cause you idolize some random culture.
The first guy that you interviewed was a really good choice. everything he said was interesting and he also asked you some questions back. great interview
Charismatic dude
I love your videos they're entertaining and informative 😊
Takashii-San, I really enjoy your videos. I find them very informative
omg I haven't seen jakenbake in forever! tysm takashii, amazing video as always! 🤠💗
Takashii - LOVE your videos. Super informative about Japanese culture.
A little drama with the 2nd interview-- that father had to keep running after his kids. Super, unintentionally funny!
Keep up all of your good work Takashii
Asian girls don't like black men
great video!!
I will say I am all for how upfront Japanese women are. It’s better to say if you are interested in someone and not waste both peoples time. I’ve been planning on going to Japan sometime soon in the future, my intention isn’t to date but it’s nice to know what to expect👍🏼
I lived in Japan for a year and a half and did the english teaching gig, this was back in the 2005-06. It was a great experience and I did date women casually but traveling around the country, meeting regular folks, and experiencing the culture were among my top memories. Nothing negative to report, such a great period of my life!
Why leave? Got home sick?
@@angelocoli8972
It's not as easy to permanently immigrate to Japan and even when doing the English teaching thing, unless you get a more permanent job, it's unlikely you'll keep getting those visas extended. It you want to become a citizen, it takes quite a lot of doing and the rest is often quite difficult to pass for foreigners as the Japanese fluency requirement is no joke and kanji is a huge hurdle for most folks without an Oriental background. Jps are hospitable with strangers and hope they have a good time, but only in passing. This applies to other Japanese as well, if you move into an area and don't do the rounds and pass out greeting gifts to the locals or follow the disposal rules, you can quite quickly find your situation getting less than optimal. Ie, when in Rome... But that means a lot more work than in many places.
what a troll. unless it's east to say as fluent
You were still in the honeymoon phase. Live here for years and you'd get a better idea of what is what.
three big reasons why japanese doesn't make good friends:
first, they makes zero efforts to speak other languages and anyway when we try to speak japanese they laugh at our accents and they don't forgive bad pronounciations
secondly, they refuse to show their feelings no matter how polite, kind and respectful we are. just because they refuse to put us in their priviledged friendship circle (in fact it's only when they get drunk, it's pathetic)
and thirdly, they love to criticize the others in their back. they judge them without knowing us they don't give us any chance. they don't tell our mistakes, how can we improve ourselves.
i like japan, for what it has naturally, but i do not get why its locals are so well seen in the world. they don't deserve so much of praise as "super kind-hearted people"
We appreciate your effort and hard work. Happy Holidays and God bless you.
I’ve had some pretty interesting dating experiences here. Most day to day life outside of the major cities or foreigner friendly places are non eventful. People tend to not make a lot of eye contact, avoid your gaze or won’t approach you if they don’t know you. They are usually self-conscious about their English ability which prevents them from trying to strike up a convo. Plus, the whole “don’t bother” people vibe of the culture makes social interaction on the daily a little awkward to just start talking to strangers. Now, the night life especially in major cities or foreigner friendly places is a 180 from that. After a few beers things can get rowdy and people start to become chatter boxes, especially the younger generation.
My dating experience has been lots of confusion and even some racism by older parents who won’t let their daughter date or marry a foreigner. Japanese only they say and get mad at her if she asks to date a foreigner. We had to end that relationship out of respect for her relationship with her family. The other girls, even though they knew some English (elementary level or some junior high level) and wanted to learn with me, just got me hella confused and wouldn’t communicate. Had one girl break up with me only to tell me a month later that she thought we were still together. Those are wildly different goal posts there girl… sheesh. One girl thought we were a couple but she only spoke to me once or twice a month and we met for a date around once a month. Super weird.
Now, I am with a girl who is very fluent in English, while I am still learning Japanese and she is totally ok with moving to another country if that’s where life takes us. She and her family don’t care. If you want a serious and less stressful relationship, I would recommend finding someone who is high school level or higher in your language and has international travel experience. Not just someone who dreams of it and thinks all foreign men as out of a Disney movie. That was another weird experience I had…. some girls here have some odd fantasies about foreign men like the movies.
Overall, night life and daily life are totally different and cold approaches can be very culturally awkward outside of the evening/night scene if your Japanese level is too low to properly flirt without causing them stress thinking they will have to speak another language.
Why would you only speak to a girl once or twice a month and only go out once a month? what were the dates like? Was it just coffee or a lot more? Did you discuss what you were looking for in a date/GF? How many dates actually took place?
@@spartanx169x why would I? what were the dates like? coffee or a lot more? discuss what you were looking for? how many dates?..... would you like my social security number with that? geez.
rude of you. that person asked good questions. You shared a lot about yourself so it makes sense that someone would suspect you'd be open to sharing more. Just say you don't want to talk about it.@@mailman1021
The best advice here is: date japnese girls that traveled outside japan. 4 years in Tokyo and I approve 100% what was said
Really insightful comment, learned a lot
Takashi, you're one of a kind. Love the questions you ask.
Happy to see your channel grow Takashii
Takashi my friend, you are blowing up. Last time I checked you were around 50k subscribers and now you’re 545k subscribers. Keep up the good work!!
You’re very good!!! I’ve subscribed
Great channel! Fabulous questions. I am really impressed
It seems dating a person is taken more serious-like in Japan. Very nice.
Well, it's one those few 1st world nations left where people wanna date with the intent of marriage since day 1.
@@sayantanmazumdar3 Unlike in the West where marriage is a binding contract where if divorce is imminent a new financial arrangement of alimony (child support if children are involved). It's as if marriage is another means of capitalizing off it's citizens.
moral of story: don't date japanese, you're only about to waste your time.
@@miixfixxgarage Huh it seems this rampant capitalism should be regulated a bit more…
@@ReservedSpot That would be a nice change up but how will lawyers, and judges pay their country club dues if hypothetically speaking were to treat relationships with the expectation of an endurance race instead of a 1.5 hour rom-com flick. America unfortunately will soon have a rapid decline in births due to laws in place that are blatantly a disadvantage for women and the overall formalities of dating due to the country's ununited historical origins therefore making America one of the least ikely location to maintain a healthy and mentally stable relationship.
awesome seeing jake appear in a video, would be interested in seeing more of his insight when he is back in japan again.
Quick relationships really freak me out as well. It’s a problem in Korea as well, where people only date for good looks, and where girls compare each other. It’s frustrating.
That’s not true.
@@jiminswriter4209 yes it is. A good looking guy in Korea has zero problems getting girls. I work on my looks a lot more so than other guys, so places like Korea is ideal for me.
@@HelloHollyling No, it is not.
@@jiminswriter4209 you’ve never been there.
@@HelloHollyling I have been to Korea many times. What about you?
Hey Takashi. I'm new to your channel.
I really need to tell you how lovely you are.
Your interview technique is so good. Honestly, second to none. You have a really great way that enables you to get the best out of all your interviewees.
Seriously no shit. I think you are proper ace and find the subjects really interesting.
Keep up the good work, because you my friend are doing ace things 💙👌🏼😉
You are an amazing content creator. I am amazed by your simple, yet eye opening video. Japanese people are extremely polite, careful, and respectful. You can see your care toward the subject, and everything involved.
You make me want to be a better person. To think an entire country can be so proper, polite, and organized. Japanese people are incredible. I’m sure you make Japan proud by showing the world such a wonderful side. Good luck with future videos!
Takashi your English is getting stronger, I could see it from your interactions in the interviews. Love the content. Keep up the great work brother.
Not going to lie. As a foreigner living in Japan.....I don't mind it. I move a little slower. I found that living in a more rural area can be difficult. If there is a big foreign influence then it's a little more open. But living in the city would definitely be easier in terms of dating.
In the end you can find a good partner regardless. ^^
While in Japan, I passed by a table where a man was selling stampers. I would stop, and he and I would have long conversations. Later, he would have me sit at the his table while he sold his items. He made it clear in the beginning that he liked me, and asked me out. The only thing that initially threw me off about our relationship was that I was 19, and and although he looked young, he was 31. He looked no older than 21. I later ended the relationship because he was moving too fast for me. Looking back years later, I kind of regretted that decision.
Oh wow. That's an encouraging story, for me.😊
You done Fd up woman that man put his life out there for you
That's too much of an age gap
"What's it like dating foreign *guys* in Japan?"
hahaha Even Takashii firing shots at JakeNBake. Twitch chat vindicated.
I saw the Team Liquid jacket and was like "Wait..."
Jake is Gay :)
@@louisconnors8616 Is he?
@@DiamondFlame45 no he has a girlfriend, her name is Water
@@DiamondFlame45 No really, its joke that he is from his stream
The first guy actually is a good public speaker lol. He uses so many hand gestures that connects to us and I have no idea how could no one fall for him
Go touch grass
You in love brah?
Fr dude’s classy as hell
I thought it was too much personally >.
@@CO-jr9er Guy had mad swagger
I’m a western man who has lived in Japan and dated a number of Japanese women over a period of several years while I was in my early twenties. I found the biggest difference to be that the notion of casual dating isn’t as common there. I was surprised that many women were marriage-minded from the get-go and seemed to assume that it was my object as well. While I was not adverse to marriage - I eventually married a Japanese national - it wasn’t my focus. This mismatch in expectations caused me problems with some women I was dating because they felt like I was leading them on if we had been on a number of dates and I wasn’t already seriously considering them as a possible spouse. Just dating for companionship and fun with the possibility that the relationship, if it lasts, could eventually result in marriage wasn’t enough. It didn’t seem to matter if I told them at the outset that I wasn’t planning on marriage any time soon; they didn’t seem to hear or believe me.
I'm a "western" man too. But I wonder: What is the purpose of "casual dating"? Dating is for finding a life-long partner to have a serious relationship with. If that's not the goal, why even bother? Companionship is what the bros are for. And if you're feeling horny: that's what a well-trained right arm is for.
@@Rajin90 Not everyone who dates is looking for a spouse or life partner. Foreign tourists and expatriates, especially, might merely be interested in meeting Japanese nationals for the experience or a desire for companionship and/or sex during their stay in the country. Some Japanese women are open to flings and dating when marriage is not necessarily the object but, in my experience, they are very much in the minority.
@@Rajin90You won't know what type of woman you would want to be with long-term, until you've tested the waters... at least a handful, or so dates with different women. It takes some experiences to figure this out. You could date someone for a while, things are good, but you get to a point where you feel like something is missing, or that you don't really connect all that well. It takes time to really know somebody and their true colors can come out down the line. You don't want to get stuck in an unhappy marriage because you just "settled". This is even more important when you're dealing with a different culture altogether. You may come to realize that the culture wasn't your thing, but you don't know until you test the waters.
I like your content on the channel and your way of speaking and listening to people. Very polite
This video not only interesting but informative! Great job , Takashii
When the first guy said "Oh my gosh" after knowing that the topic is about dating, I felt that. 😂
Anyways, great video! メリー クリスマスたかしさん!
My problem was that my girlfriend of many years' family suddenly rejected me out of nowhere. The relationship was great, I got on well with her parents and siblings. Then when my girlfriend mentioned she would move in with me, her mother told her to leave me...And they must 'respect' their family, so she did but is now secretly still with me...
I think her mother thought she'd get bored of me as I was just a 'foreign toy' and then throw me away. When she realised our relationship was serious she pulled rank and became a mega Nazi bitch.
May I ask where are you from mate?
@@Ajaosjsbsnm.ama12 I'm a well educated Englishman. The absolutely only reason her mother didn't respect me is because I wasn't Japanese, and she said so herself.
@@bandicootcollector no problem man there a lot of women who will like you never give up .try to see for another Japnese woman who will accept you
@@Ajaosjsbsnm.ama12 I have no trouble getting girlfriends out there, but anything serious is hard to find when you're not Japanese in my experience and my friends' experiences. Most of the girls just want to toy about with a foreigner for an experience.
@@bandicootcollector toy about what mate what their interest they can get from us Japenese are wealthy persons they don't need foregions money like southeast Asian
I am also from melbourne Australia, that first guy made us look really good, hah! So charismatic, he even asked the host a question.! very engaging bloke.
I'm in Korea where's there's similar-ish rules on dating. A big turn off for me though is the scheduling. If someone says they want to date but then ask to wait a month then I'm sorry, I'm out because it usually means they aren't that interested.
I have the same rule set, I don't trust people like that lol. Might be because we grew up in the west. I'm just wondering if that's just how they do things and stick to a schedule.
the whole thing of having to take an appointment even for meeting your friends in south Korea is weird to me as a south asian.
Hey, love your videos! I just recently moved to Japan for work, still getting used to the Japanese lifestyle. I was wondering if you had any tips or recommendations for me. Anything helps! Thanks! :D
good video Takashi i love your contentt
@Clarence gilkie in most cases, yea
its the questions for me! Takashii really had em going deep on the street! no surface level conversation. So fascinating!
I ran into Takashi while he was filming this episode and he was very nice. Thanks for all the good content and come visit San Diego!
I was trying to meet girls while in Tokyo, but found them difficult to approach and talk to.
Its almost pointless if you don't speak Japanese, the odds of meeting someone who has a good enough English to talk about complex topics are minuscule. Maybe 3/100, so if dating in your home country is hard you can basically assume it's going to be 30 times harder here.
It's Tokyo, there are a lot of inflated egos.
@@unixtreme This is correct: It is necessary to learn the language before "higher ambitions" might be more possible!
Or just go after the ones who are fluent in english? I have no skin in the game, so I don't know how it is out there
@@commentarytalk1446 It isn't "necessary", as there are quite a few Japanese people either willing to make the effort, or else looking for a ticket out of the country.
I think the trouble is sometimes either (a) there is a language barrier or (b) the foreigner's Japanese is ''too good'' and they get intimidated as they want to use the foreigner to practice or show off their English.
Absolutely correct. I've seen that many times before.
The part with the last guy about the pair look is pure comedy. Some thing about his delivery and your reaction 😂
Love this channel
Basically every first interaction between people who are attracted starts out superficial by your looks. Some people find people different from themselves interesting as well. The problem I feel is if a girl will approach any foreign guy just because they are foreign and vice versa with "yellow fever" jumping at any Asian girl. You find out if you like their personality after that but if you don't and still stick around because of a fetish that's wierd
Asian women don't like black men
jup exactly. thats why i didnt understand the guy saying its a total turn off. i mean youll notice soon enough if that was the only thing that attracted the person.
@@theflyingdutchguy9870 Well it feels very superficial to have the initial interest be something as shallow as race. It's the same reason celebrities have trouble building relationships with fans because there's always the thought in the back of their head "What if they're actually dating me because I'm a celebrity".
If they're very in love with a superficial part of you they can be very convincing that they love other parts of you too.
Ideally that interest falls off quick in an obvious enough way that you can tell if there's something more than just the initial fire.
But sometimes that passion will persist for a period of time that ventures into long term relationships before inevitably blowing it up which is the thing to be avoided.
I felt the first one but from the perspective of the woman. I'm super shy and people are not really interested in me. I'm also at fault because I want to chat at least 1 month before meeting in person, maybe longer if the workshedule does not fit in. On the second date I was really in panic to even ask if I can hold hands with my date. For me it's such a big step to feel the warmth of another hand. The first kiss was 3 or 6 months later and I thought I would faint haha. Idk why I am like this, in Germany dating can be more distant/cold but I am still the weird case 😅.
What? What part of Germany do you live that you say dating is cold?
Ich komme aus Bayern Bro. Welche Hürde hast du denn erlebt?? ::)
@@eafesaf6934 NRW Bergische Land. Im Vergleich zum Rheinland (z.B. Köln) ist man recht unter sich und Dating fühlt sich oft eher wie nen Business Meeting an 😅 Sehr Listen-abarbeiten-mäßig. Daher kam auch selten vom Date mal ein Move für Körperkontakt bzw. war es nie wirklich "notwendig"/besonders in deren Augen, wohingegen für mich so etwas wie Händchenhalten schon was sehr besonderes ist 😅.
@@luh96 das ist definitiv neu-Land für mich lol.
In bayern ist es mir fast zu persönlich.
Wir sind zwar auch kalt hier aber eher gegen fremde als gegen die Person, die man Daten tut..
@@luh96 Kein Mann hat bock 3 Monate auf einen Kuss zu warten wenn Lara von nebenan nach einer Woche bereits ganz andere Sachen küsst. Ausnahme sind natürlich ähnlich schüchterne Männer die dann zwar mitspielen aber auch irgendwann an Interesse verlieren da die "Beziehung" nicht voran geht und sie somit die Lust und Hoffnung verlieren jemals etwas ernstes mit dir zu haben. Stell dir das mal so vor:
Wenn ich dich nach einem date frage und du kommst mir mit "ich hab in 2 Wochen zeit" wird kaum einer dabei bleiben. Wieso sollte er auch? In 2 Wochen hätte er dann einen hauch einer Chance auf Hände halten geschweige denn auf einen Kuss. In der zeit könnte er zocken, Party machen , trainieren, nichts tun oder potenziell mehrere weibliche Partner finden. Männer verschwenden ungern Zeit und Energie also wieso sollten sie auf dich warten?
Ich glaube du wirst deiner Antwort näher kommen wenn du diese frage beantworten kannst.
@@eviuze6259 Naja bisher war immer viel Verständnis, oder es dauerte von Seiten der Männer länger weil dann bei denen Job/Studium dazwischen kam und fanden es eigentlich cool mal jemanden zu haben, die Verständnis zeigt und nicht an die Decke geht ^^. Gleiches andersherum. Besonders im online Dating finde ich es auch nicht schlimm wenn man mehrere parallel kennengelernt und dann erst Feedback kommt, ob man mehr Zeit investiert, oder eben nicht. Alles Kommunikations Sache. Meist habe ich sogar eingeleitet wegen Händchen halten, aber die Männer waren dann dran like ne. Es harkte bisher halt an der Grenze Küssen/Sex, aber da kann ich rein medizinisch keine Kompromisse machen (das 2.) da muss ich halt geduldig sein und dran bleiben, bis ich jemanden finde wo einfach alles stimmt ^^. Wie du sagtest, es gibt Männer die ähnlich ticken, man muss halt aktiv suchen und drauf zugehen :).
your videos are very interesting! I've never been to Japan, no plans to visit, i do not speak japanese, but these videos are captivating still
This is a good interview and the one being interviewed are pretty honest about it, yet being respectful. Good choice.
@Clarence gilkie To be honest, they are at a disadvantage compare to other guys. Your comment could go the same as saying they don't like short men or fat men etc., it doesn't need to be a race. Everyone has different beauty standard. First impression is most important, just as some female like seeking out good looking guys, men looking for pretty women in their desired looks and figures. Once get pass that, it is all the same. We are all human beings. The problem is how they were brought up as what is seen as their beauty standard in their culture. It is different around the world. I do have an Asian friend who has a black man husband, her mom was a little displease but after all, it is her choice to live with this man. What is most important is how they treat each other.
@Clarence gilkie I don't know who is dumber. Do you think a kid can wrote all that I have wrote? You sounds more like an immature person with your short sentences.
Asian women like black guys
not all of asian women though
honestly this video was banger i wish it was longer! first guy seems really interesting and cool and also you found streamer jake(i wish you asked him more) but yeah overall really good video! thank you so much!
cool part is, that it happened while jake was streaming. Was a great stream, and im sad Takashi didnt put in Jakes outro
This is good to know. As a foreigner who's interested in visiting Japan sometime, possibly for an extended period, I'd like to know what it's like to date in Japan. I have a Westerner's point of view when it comes to these kinds of things, though I did live in the Philippines for 2.5 years. It would be interesting to compare the three.
@Thawne Yes, I'm aware that international travel (and dating) can be expensive. I already have a passport, so that's out of the way. But it would most likely be on some kind of work thing if I were to go. Maybe I could meet someone there in my downtime, who knows?
I've heard American men do well in the Philippines. Your thoughts? Where do you live or where were you born?
Takashii is a genius for these videos
Very insightful
Seems about the same as anywhere else. Just strict schedules because of focus on priorities.
Language barrier and culture are the biggest obstacles. If it gets serious, family usually becomes an issue due to clashing cultures. This is why the older generation says "marry into your own;" it is so that there will be less issues and a smoother relationship. But love is love so if it's worth it, go for it.
Great video! 👍 It was interesting to hear the foreign men's point of view as well.
In my view dating shouldn't be so formal. Perhaps we should rely more on spontaneity and sometimes on improvisation.
A hug and to the next video Takashi. 😊
It's interesting how opinions vary. I much prefer the formal approach. Imagine your date turning up in a dressing-gown and slippers ala "The Dude" from The Big Lebowski !
@@commentarytalk1446 Unfortunately I haven't seen this movie yet. However, by spontaneity and improvisation I certainly did not mean being overlooked. Maybe you misunderstood me
Who invented "dating"?
I prefer formality over the hook up culture in the west. And I'm a western girl
@@chrystianaw8256 Uh no. I would prefer not to date women who after three or so dates demand to know if you're getting married or not. Sometimes at the first date.
Omg im so stoked to hear what Jake the expert has go say
ISN'T THAT JAKE'N'BAKE??? lmao what a crossover! can't wait for a takashii trash taste episode with the bois
idea: Ask ppl (japanese or foreign) about what music they like? I’m a musician from the US and ive studied japanese music as a hobby. id love to know what people like in Japan
Asian women don't like black men
@@clarencegilkie7369 i dont see what this has to do with my comment
That is such a broad and vague question for ALL around the world. In every country there is the house music crowd , rap music crowd, the beetles hippie type crowd , mainstream radio crowd etc. Although there is certain genres that dominate more than others such as in Netherlands the house music crowd is huge and in France the rap is bigger than house crowd
WOW! You really asked JakenBake some hard questions... I love that guy though, been watching him for years!
Japan is such a beautiful country, it should be protected
The American didn't say it, but they're called "gaijin hunters". Most of the time it's a very weird situation. Sometimes they just wanna leave Japan and want someone to take them to their home country with them.
As soon as I say that I don't plan on going back, a big chunk of them lose interest.
They're not common
@@jasonhaven7170 Um...I didn't say they were. However, depending on your location, one's experience may vary. They're numerous enough and have a pattern consistent enough to have a moniker attached though. I think that speaks for itself.
This is typical throughout Asia, though. The reality is that the majority of Asian girls are looking to leave their countries through the foreign guy, and move to his country.
And if they don't get what they want, the relationship may eventually go downhill. Especially if the guy just stays in the Asian country.
Just saying, based on experience. It's all understandable, but foreign men in Asia do need to understand the harsh realities and practical considerations. It's usually quite difficult for both people to be content with the situation, over the long term.
@@effervescentevanescenttran6331 This is simply not true.
@@Zenrei03 he’s just saying it’s common bro. He’s not accusing you of saying it’s not.
Nice video! It's interesting to see how different dating is around the world. I'd be weirded out if the person I'm dating grabbed my hand on our first date, like it's too serious I guess haha but a kiss wouldn't be weird if I'm into them. And the month in advanced killed me 🤣 but schedules can be pretty busy so I get it
Anyways, if you are looking for new video ideas, it'd be interesting to see vegetarian foreigners in Japan and if they struggle to find veggie food. Also, Japanese people's view on vegetarianism. I don't know how common it is there or if there's a word for "vegetarian" in Japanese, but I'd love to see it. Keep it up!
I worked at a vegetarian restaurant in Japan for 7 years. There are 2 normal ways to say "vegetarian" in Japanese: 「ベジェタリアン」OR「採食主義者」(sai shoku shu gi sha). There are some derogatory ways too, like phrases that translate into "grass eater" etc.
@@earlysda I had no idea, thanks!! Grass eater lol 🤣
I believe Buddhism is quite common in Japan and South Korea so there are likely many vegetarian restaurants.
@@eFrog27 Efrog, there are almost zero vegetarian restaurants in Japan. Admittedly there are several in Tokyo, a few less in Kansai, and almost zero everywhere else. I worked 7 years at a vegetarian restaurant in Osaka, many years ago.
.
Buddhism is actually not believed by very many in Japan. I would guess that only 10 to 15% of the population really follows it. It is just a cultural thing, to visit ancestor graves etc. Japan is much more deeply involved with Shinto religion, altho again, there are few true believers in that religion, as most just observe the festivals and pray for good luck at shrines etc. Probably around 80% or more of Japanese are really Agnostic or Atheist.
Interesting that you view handholding as more serious than exchanging saliva with someone
In school people tend to “ fall in love”, if both very young, maybe they don’t dare to talk or think about marriage. But when becoming adults, dating but not potentially for marriage is a very strange thing to do. There’s enough stress in most Asian countries already( or any other place nowadays), it’s hard to imagine why would people would have the energy to date if there’s no possibility of future….
I don’t know why the algorithm sent me here, but I can’t get enough of this page.
Although Brazil has a very different culture when compared to Japan, when people date, after a couple of times it is expected that they define what kind of relationship it is: serious dating or whatever. Some couples do also exchange rings to set the relationship as official. They are usually made of silver and worn on the right hand.
I guess it kind of depends, I don’t know how straight relationships work, but uhh, never happened to me. I always felt things to be quite ambiguous. And defining relationships, even very intense and long standing ones, to be something that happens over time. Namorar and dating aren’t really the same thing. Namorar has a connotation of seriousness and formality that dating may or may not have, ficar is more common when people are getting to know each other.
You must live in one of them cozy small cities
down south or something.
Brazil is casual sex central bro.
The main thing that is always emphasized in your videos is the importance of being able to speak Japanese. I can hold very basic conversations with the Japanese tourists I see in Australia, and they always seem very happy to see that I can understand them.
@@zacheray to u
That's the typical "Nihongo jozu!" they hit you with i would guess. From what I got from the video it's difficult to go from that casual conversation to an actual relationship.
No one cares. Stay away from Japan creep.
OMG... being overwhelmed when somebody asks you, what are your intentions with me after THREE dates, is crazy...
Awesome video